I'll have an English proficiency exam 16 days later. I wrote

You are going, To fail 16 days later.

English is not my mother tongue,but I do have an english proficiency certificate. You have made too many mistakes. I don't know what the standards are, but in my opinion you're not going to pass like this. Do you want me to correct some of your mistakes?

>>744064920
Why?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHI1xqp-Rok
.,
.

>>744065139
Yes. They want us just 200 words for an essay. Minimum 180 maximum 220 words.

>>744064823
try this OP, fixed for you

Our land is not a great place for the universe. However, it is still very good for us. Thus, there will still be difficulties or travel around the world. I see two main problems when we decide to travel the world. Money and technology. Only the government can do this. Although there are many cars in the car, the technology is not developed. Now we are using a platform space that helps researchers take action. He can easily reach the equator and see what he wants. Normal people need to use more than one machine. We can be in the country by train and car, and also use boats and airplanes to fly over the ocean. In the future, we need to add technology if we want the world to be safe, cheaper and faster. We need more cars, trains or new ships, spacecraft and aircraft. Alternative science can also be useful. We can develop a verification code, we can send a fax. In short, we want to say that the world is still a good trip to us. We need money and technology. We have some, but they are invisible. If we find new technologies and cheaper trips, the world will be smaller than before.

>>744064823
nypa

>>744064823
I'd give this a 5 max (IELTS)

>>744064920
kek

>>744065211
>In the future, we need to add technology if we want the world to be safe, cheaper and faster.

But my essay have to be just about travelling around the world. Not the world.

File: 1504346125493.jpg (90KB, 548x718px) Image search: [Google]

90KB, 548x718px

>>744064823
To be honest OP this is not great, at all. I could re-write it maybe but that wouldn't change much because it won't automatically teach you proper grammar.

>>744065186

>For this reason, there are still some difficulties like travelling around the world.
>We face two main challenges when we decide to travel around the world.
>technology hasn't been developed enough
>Nowadays, we use spaceships which help only scientists
>They can easily travel around the equator
>Ordinary people have to use more than one vehicle
>In the future
> world safely, cheaper and faster.
> or new kinds of ships
>We can develop jetpacks and we can find teleportation. (find doesn't seem like the apropriate verb here)
>To sum up, we would say (our/this/the) world is still big to us for travelling around.
> (our/this/the) world would become even smaller than before.

>>744065360
This seems accurate

>>744065211
on second thought, try this version

Worldly life is not good for our country. But it is important for us. Then, the repair can not be repaired or installed in the ground. I decided to go around the world and see the great events. The right thing is one thing the government can do. Do not use any load now. Today, sales are used to help people get what they are looking for. Media media bring many good ones. Railways and harbors can be used by train. The future of the world is simple and effective, and if you want to show it, you need to add more features. We will send, travel or chais the southern, we need a lot and plans. Science can be useful to select. We can not define the code and send it to facsimile. So our life is good for us. We need money and technology. There are many bills, but no one. New ideas and travels.

>>744065584
If you re-write i wil appreciate.

>>744065612
this is all wrong

>>744065645
this one looks better OP
>>744065625

>>744065695
How so?

>>744064823
my version, corrected:
Earth's life affects the beauty of the world. But what we want to say after the meeting can be resolved and corrected. Significant events have taken place throughout the world and I decided to help. The government can do it well. It does not work for those who want to sell today. Use environment and mosaics to find the right people. If you want to see more, the future is simple and efficient. I walked and went south. We have a lot of programs to prove that we can choose a law that can be done that can never be achieved later. So our life is good. Management and financial management and new technologies, not others, others

>>744065746
see
>>744065901
less idiomatic diction

>>744065612
complete shit anon

File: 53d091a4996ed8f1f353fe4a4e3f6644--serial-experiments-lain-more-pictures copy.jpg (57KB, 633x525px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 633x525px

>>744065645
Our planet isn't a big thing if we look at the cosmos. However, it is still huge to us. For this reason, travelling around the world is still difficult. We face two main challenges when we decide to travel around the globe: money and technology. Although there are a lot of transportation vehicles, technology is not developed enough. Nowadays we use spaceships, but these only yield results for scientists. They can easily travel around the equator and observe from wherever they want to. Ordinary people need to use a variety of vehicles, like trains and cars for land and ships or airplanes for flying across oceans. In the future, we have to upgrade our technology if we want to travel around the world safer, cheaper and faster. We have to create faster cars and trains, or new kinds of ships, spacecrafts and planes. Science can also be helpful. We could develop jetpacks or invent teleportation. To sum it up, we would say the world is still big for us to travel around. We need money and technology. We have some of these but they are not satisfactory. If we invent new means of transportation and find cheaper ways for it, the world would become much smaller than before.

Here you go OP, may be a bit rushed but the best I could do in a hurry.

>>744065612
Thanks bro.

>>We can develop jetpacks and we can find teleportation. (find doesn't seem like the apropriate verb here)

Which word I should use instead of find?

>>744064823
Don't listen to the others, here's the best version:

Im Vergleich zum Universum ist die Erde nicht groß. Allerdings ist sie für uns immer noch groß. Daher ist es immer noch schwer für uns die Erde zu bereisen. Es gibt zwei Hauptprobleme die Erde zu bereisen. Geld und Technologie. Nur reiche Leute können sich es leisten. Obwohl es viele Transportmöglichkeiten gibt, ist die Technologie nicht weit genug entwickelt. Allerdings können wir uns es bei der nächsten Wahl die Bundeskanzlerin erneut zu wählen. Wir können keine GroKo mehr tolerieren. Deshalb ist es unbedingt nötig ein Zeichen zu setzen. Die einzige Möglichkeit ist es Protest zu wählen und Die Partei zu wählen. Somuncu für Kançler, für ein Deutschland in dem wir gut und gerne leben.

>>744065944
??? I'm not going to rewrite the fucking essay for him and use better vocabulary and idioms. I simply corrected his grammar. If I made mistakes like that, it's fine with me (point them out so I know what I did wrong), but I wasn't trying to rewrite the essay.

>>744066210
Thank you very much anon. I am really appreciated.

>>744066258
I'm not sure, but discover or even invent sounds better in my mind. You could avoid problems like this in the exams by rephrasing to something like this: "we can even find/discover a way to teleport".