/b/ I just caught this spider in the living room, hes pretty

>>743907032
drop it in garden, tell gf you killed it

problem solved

>>743907032
Nah she lying

>>743907216
she wants to see the body

>>743907032
its a european house spider and yes it bites

>>743907301
Go into the garden, put the spider on your hand. If it bites, slaughter it infront of her. If it doesn't, let it go.

Guaranteed she'll suck your fuck after

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>>743907032


No

UK biting spider is the false widow

really fucking hurts tbh. bit multiple times on my back when asleep. woke up huge pain on back, which ended up making the glands under my arms really hot then felt shit next day

>>743907348

cool, if its one of those the bite is weak

also it might be a cardinal spider? also weak bite

Im just gonna release it

It's a house spider. It bites but only if you fuck around with it and hurt it. They don't just go around biting people. Their bite is harmless too. Let it outside so it can eat bugs.

>>743907032
Just let the poor fucker go, he can bite you but pretty sure it isn't venomous so who cares, just let him somewhere outside.

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Nothing particularly dangerous that's agressive in the UK. It's not Australia. In fact there are more dangerous spiders in Kansas City and you don't see Kansas City faggots panicking over a couple hundred brown recluse in their homes.

>>743907032
normal UK house spider. idk if it can bite but it would only be a nip and has no venom so its harmless. Let the cunt go in the garden.

>>743907880
All spiders are venomous. It's just that most aren't known to be dangerous to humans, but we are learning more. For example the the Indian ornamental tree spider which is a popular pet turns out to actually be a lot more dangerous than previously believed.

I let him go, shes very mad and called me a pussy

the little bastard better not come back and make a fool of me

>>743907032
>he
>eggs

Fuck off m8

>>743907032

It's a house spider. Tegeneria species, very easy to recognise. Live about 4-5 years and are more active this time of year because it's mating season.

They can bite humans (personal experience) but it's trivial, less than a 20th of a bee sting. No long term effects. No idea why I got bit, it happened while I was asleep and I woke up, swatted it, and found the carcass in the morning.

Letting him go in the garden is pointless as he will gravitate back to warm caves: your house, or that of your neighbours. They've been living alongside humans for about 200K years and are quite happy where they are.

I will admit they are unpleasant looking fuckers though, garden spiders are much more qt3.14s

>>743907032
It's a house spider. Leave it alone and it'll leave you alone. They're in their mating season right now which is why you see them running around a bit more. Chad is looking to get his bone on.

if dubs you have to pull its legs off

>>743909000
winrar

>>743909000
you better do this you fucking slut

>>743909000

haha nice

unfortunately hes already back outside crusing for a wife

>>743908711

>>743909000
Too bad that's trips and not dubs, faggot

If it lays eggs its poisonous, OP your gf made a mistake hooking up with you, fucking pussy

>>743909269
too bad i dont give a fuck whether it's dubs or fucking trips, it's still better than your peasant singles.

>>743909329
They aren't singles faggot, 69

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Hey guys can you identify this spider? It's about 3 inches in length excluding legs, pretty docile when I caught it. Was chilling in my garage and wandered in the open after I moved some boxes

>>743907032
That thing only lives a couple of months anyway, just take a leg for your mistress and release her in the wild.

>>743909528
Location?

>>743908762
TopKek, now we're getting traps in the form of spiders.

Tell her about spiderbro.
Release in kitchen.

>>743909642
Ozarks, Ameristan

>>743907032
that thing isn't dangerous at all anon don't worry, had the exact same thing in my house the other day and i just picked it up and put it out, didn't bite me so you should be fine.

>>743907032
Umm, that's actually carniculei abibensis, it has mild venom and can inflict a stinging bite that's about half as bad as a wasp sting. Kill it with fire or hoover that fucker.

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>>743910286
>carniculei abibensis
certified falsified and homoerotic

>>743910404
You gotta admit it sounded legit tho

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>>743907032
All
Sipiders
Bite
That bro is going to kill all those nasty bugs and you gf wants to kill it? Women.
Pic related,its one of the thousands of spiders where I live
They are bro tier

it's one of those brown house spiders they can bite but it won't be anything more then a pinch and only in self defense, and there's no venom either.

>>743910010
Female Dolomedes tenebrosus.

They have color variations but that's clearly a wolf spider.

>>743910483
no, it didn't, can't say I've ever heard of the carnuculei family and the name itself didn't seem to match convention

>>743910554
genus rather, my bad

>>743910486
>all spiders bite

Daddy long legs don't.

>>743907301
make one with paper mache

>>743907032

Spiders just tryna nut and eat pests and women wanna fucking kill them.

Why are women's ideas so bad?

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>>743910716
Maybe not bite you,they still bite they're prey

>>743910538
Good to release then I presume? Should I be worried about eggs?

>>743907348
all spiders bite, but most in uk won't break the skin. The uk verison of the european house spider won't break the skin. They are fast fearless fuckers though. Had many jump at me and stand their ground. If i see them they must die.

>>743907032
>really wish i didnt live in the uk right now

i'm going to fucking move to a cold ass country one day just to avoid shit like this

im losing it here at the anxiety of seeing one

>>743910829
maybe am grammar
or how am spek engrish

>>743910906
Those spiders make hundreds of tiny spiders regardless of what you do with that one.

>>743911221
Rate the shite faggurt

>>743911273
Will just have to catch them if and when they appear in the future then. Better than a million brown recluses though.

Nah that spider isn't dangerous. They are extremely common and can get quite big but they aren't at all dangerous. They might kind of bite when fucked with, but it's harmless because their teeth can't even penetrate your skin.

>>743911128

I know the feeling. I Just moved to a hot humid place. A fucking tarantula crawled under my sheets in the middle of The night. I didn't sleep and went to a hotel the next night and left that house (was renting). I found 4 other tarantulas there one week later when I went to get my stuff.

Who gives a shiny shit? Kill the fucking thing regardless

>>743911777
An actual tarantula or just a fuck huge spider? What region?

>>743911887
Central America

Yeah, a tarantula

the only spider you need to worry about killing you is the brazilian wandering and (maybe) the brown recluse, just let the little faggot go

>>743907710
Good man. I never kill any spider less poisonous than black widows as long as I can get them outside.

>>743907956
Holy fuck

>>743907032
let live the lil guy, he has nothing to do with you. just throw it out