ITT: Terrible things we've done as children. I'll start.

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>Be me around 7 years
>Have black friend
>he gives me his login for club penguin
>say "shit" on club penguin b/c why not
>get b&
>black friend is pissed
>tells his parents that i said black people are troublemakers to screw me over
>his mom tells my dad
>dad throws shitstorm over something i never said
>mfw

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Child Incest Story, Part 2

>About a day or two after BloweyJowey.png
>My cousins live near our home, so they come back again
>Isaac wants to try our game again, which we have now named "Pee Pee and Butt"
>Genius Name
>Anyway
>I have a bunk bed (Fucking loved those as a kid, but never used the top bunk due to fear of spider in the corner
>Isaac brings me to the top of the bunk bed, telling Gabe to leave us alone up here
>He agrees, and the incest begins
>Rather than sex, we just remove our clothes and make out
>We're both hard, but don't know what to make of it due to being like 6
>These games continue for days, and even weeks
>I don't know the illegal acts I'm enjoying with Isaac
>One day during our incest shenanigans, we're just ending and leaving the bunk bed as we redress
>Suddenly, uncle bursts through the door to check on us, sees my pants half off
>Oshit
>He asks me "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU KIDS DOIN'?!"
>Me and Isaac are terrified, Gabe just sits there confused
>Uncle drags us downstairs to parents
>I'm certain my death is imminent
>He explains what he saw me doing
>Parents look as furious as him
>Force us to explain, with the threat of a spanking if we don't comply
>They slowly force me and Isaac to explain Pee Pee and Butt
>We get scolded about how this is illegal, and that they could be arrested for this
>We both get spanked anyway, even though we told them
>I didn't feel it as much
>"Well that didn't hurt."
>BAD IDEA.
>Get dragged back to be spanked a second time, much harder than before
>I run away in tears, fearing all the adults there
>MFW I now know what Isaac has been talking me into doing for weeks

>>743829216
wot

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Child Incest Story, Part 3: Gabe Edition

>Be me
>Still 6, a couple of weeks after the incident
>Isaac is gone, I have no idea where he is and hasn't shown up with Gabe anymore
>Probably just school, I still haven't asked to this day
>Gabe is staying the night at our house
>Nighttime
>Gabe is sleeping in my bunk bed, on the top bunk
>We have trouble sleeping, so we decide to talk to each other from our bunks
>Gabe has to go to the bathroom
>Doesn't want to come down
>He decides to pee on me
>The golden rain flows onto me and my blankets
>I'm facing Gabe, and the holy water of his tiny cock get all over my half-naked body, including in my mouth
>Isaac and his sexual actions have corrupted my innocence
>FeelsGoodMan.jpg
>MFW
>He stops
>Soon, we go to bed as if this never happened
>I'm still covered in his piss
>Wake up later
>I'm all smelly and sticky
>Bed is wet
>Parents assume I wetted the bed (I did do that sometimes)
>MFW they will never know the acts that occurred

Thus, my child incest stories come to a close. Nobody but me in my family remembers any of this but me. Maybe Isaac, but I haven't seen or heard from him since then.

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>eighth grade
>start tagging
>write around neighbour little shitty tag
>write in school why not
>bring silver sharpie and tag bathroom
>principal for some reason didn't pick up on this event till a month later
>tells our class that some immature student has written in bathroom
>they never found out it was me
>got in shit a year later going into high school for drawing pentagrams on the bathroom wall

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>3rd grade
>butterfly pavilion field trip
>best friend was terrified of butterflies
>he wore a yellow shirt that day so the butterflies kept landing on him
>i made fun of him
>he started crying
>MFW ive been a terrible friend

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>be me
>7 years old
>sleeping at my cousins house with my little brother (6)
>me and my brother wake up one of those days
>our cousin is sleeperight next to us
>she was super asleep, not even a tornado would wake her
>I got creative
>removed her pants, later her panties
>"what are you doing?" says lil bro
>"just something I saw on the computer"
>we start touching her ass and pussy
>we stop 1 minute later
>she wakes up, didn't even feel anything
>he didn't tell anyone, and we did it again next week but she wasn't asleep, probably liked it
>to this day only I remember

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>>743828192
>Be 7
>Ride bike around town in early evening
>Come across high school party
>My cousin (15) is outside and sees me
>Has me come over
>Tons of kids underage drinking
>He pulls me into a bedroom
>Girl is passed out on the bed
>Her pants are pulled down
>Cousin and friends encourage me to play a game
>Tell me to stick my peepee in one of her holes and try to wake her up by moving as fast as I can
>I pick her butthole and go to town
>She doesn't wake up
>They tell me I lost and to go home

TFW you were tricked into anally raping a drunk girl

I stole a video game controller from my cousin.

>>743831951
OH SHIT

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>be me
>2006
>8 yo
>into nerf guns
>have group of friends into nerf guns
>we'd talk during lunch and after school about what nerf guns we had, and we would have nerd wars after school n' shit
>it was all pretty good fun and games, in fact, some of my best childhood memories are those nerf wars we would have
>but then we were introduced to the sharpshooting side of it by our older brothers, most of them 11 or 12 at the time
>weeks go by and nerf bros are talking about their nerf guns firing speed, what targets they can hit on their house like the ceiling fan and in the square above a basketball hoop
>Then one day, while building a nerd gun to hit the windchime on our porch from the backyard fence, I see my dog playing in the grass, and I first notice his large, red asshole
>It was red and had a hole in the center. I thought to myself it'd make a perfect target
>take a shot at it from the porch
>Yuppie Kai yay mufucka
>direct hit. Dog lets out a yelp in surprise
>Tell my friends about the new nerd game I came up with.
>They love it
>Spend the next few weeks shooting are dogs and cats assholes. We were so fucking cruel to use the fastest firing nerf guns we had.
>after MONTHS of doing this, all our pets have to go to the vet because of repeated hits to the anus
>mfw I never see a nerf gun again after that

>>743831951
All these horrible stories, and you just stole a controller.

I tried to rape one of my female classmates when we were in kindergarten.

Once i fucked my friends couch

>>743831951
You monster

At what age is the cutoff for being "children" because that really determines what I say

I would say 15 is about the final year of childhood, but that's just me.

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>Be 3
>Rich as fuck in home country
>Parents bought me ducklings cause I was an annoying little cunt
>The ducks love me
>Follow me everywhere
>Soon, I get the idea to give them so water to swim in
>Go outside and fill bucket with ice cold water
>Take the ducks one by one and put them in the bucket
>They can't swim
>Pull them out of the bucket
>See them shaking
>10/10 intelligence kicks in
>wrap them in towels
>ducks die of hypothermia
>mrw mom comes outside and sees them dead

>>743835152
Ok I guess I did a few things back then. Here's one that everyone here can understand both sides of, I think:

>be me, like 10
>have 3 brothers, only one pc in the house and it's in parents room
>it's password locked so we can only use the internet with their say-so
>one night they go out to dinner
>they leave pc logged in
>older brother goes to their room to play on it
>thinking nothing of it, I randomly walk in at some point
>wtf
>learn what hentai is because this anime chick seems to be in an uncomfortable and compromising situation with some kind of metal robo-tentacles
>oh my
>brother closes the window and says "oh. Hi."
>"Hey."
>brother looks at me and then the desktop and then at me and says "well I'm gonna go to the bathroom to poop for a minute."
>as soon as he's in the bathroom I log the computer out so he can't watch more porn
>once he's finished in the bathroom he sees that he can't use the pc and becomes enraged because I ruined his very rare porn time
>to this day I still remember that poor girls face, innocent child me had never seen such a sight
In retrospect I shouldve just left the guy's porn alone

> Be me
> No older than 10
> Have two step Brothers one younger one older
> playing Lego Star wars
> One beats me in a dual or some shit
> "suck my dick anon lul"
> I do it
> I suck off both brothers
> Never talked of it again

I've sucked the both off and some strangers when I was young. It's fucked up my sexuality now I'm pretty sure I'm gay.

>>743829216

yeah not illegal.

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>>743828192
Not me but some guy I studied with:

>Made some homemade noise bomb to explode inside a school trash
>Proceeds to corridor bathroom to explode in one of those stalls
>boom.jpg while in class
>Teacher thinks it's something serious
>Everyone laughs
>Teacher gets mad
it's ok tho

>1 week later coordinator comes, alongside there's a younger boy than us
>whythesadfaceboi?
>"Boy was shitting next to the exploded stall"
>"He is now permanently almost deaf due to the noise"

mfw I remember this story

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>Be me around age 10
>Kids doing dumb shit in the winter sledding down local hill
>Laughing having a good time running and sliding down
>One kid hits a huge lump in the snow and a dozen moles come scrambling out of their burrow underneath it
>All of us start laughing chasing them
>One kid from the shitty side of town picks one up and pulls out a lighter
>Lights the poor bastard on fire and chucks him onto the pavement at the bottom of the hill
>Laughter turns to horror as the little guy rolls around writhing in pain
>I take a huge chunk of snow
>Throw it down on the mole
>Turns out it was an ice shard in disguise
>Sickening crunch
>Went home, had a kool aid jammer and called it a day

>be like 8
>at grandparents house
>grandma baby sits kids
>practically torture the kids she babysits
>fucking around in a doll house in the backyard
>"watch this" i say as i drop my pants
>shit on the dirt inside the house
>some little faggot tells my gma
>she comes out to check
>run inside the doll house and stomp on the log of shit before she can look
>get away with it

>few hours later, my mom picks me up
>at drive thru at popeye's
>forget i stepped in my own shit
>swing leg up on the center console
>my mom beats me when i get home

>>743835976
no, you did the right thing. bless you.

>>743837099
Im laughing so hard.. Thanks for sharing anon

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>>743838218
Fucking great. Someone screencap some of this shit add me plz.

>>743839000
Nice trips

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>Be me, like 8 or something
>Cousin is almost a year younger
>Bored at my aunt's house
>For no particular reason we're in my room there and we get to show and tell
>I we touch each other a little but she doesn't like my hard dick
>(We're not really related I was let into the family so I got a brown'n)
>Fool around with her until we pull our pants up
>Never get caught, I doubt she remembers or ever would unless I brought it up.
>Idk probably would have boned if I knew what that was.
>Fuck.

>>743840059
i kind of did same with guy cousin, fucked me up a good bit

>>743840254
Yeah I fucking stuck my face between my childhood friends ass cheeks and humped his sister. I was horny as fuck. But when I was a kid I looked up funny games and got to a porn game site and basically everyone I got hard it hurt really bad until one day I relieved myself. I gotta do it all the time or my dick hurts when I get hard.

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>be me
>8 years old
>getting fucked in the ass by dad
>he pulls his dick out and notices poo on it
>get slapped around and sent to my room
>end up getting grounded with no sex for 2 weeks

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>>743841281

>>743832875
That's not horrible it just sounds like a childhood

True story so I won't green text
Me and my neighbor put screwdrivers in a girls pussy cause we were trying to fix her when we were 8. She was 6

She told her parents and they moved.

Around 22 ran into her at college she didn't remember me, we fucked a bunch and she would only want me to eat her out while she blew me because "her insides were scratched when she was a kid". I acted like I didn't know wtf she was talking about. She got mad that I was on PoF looking for other girls (that would let me stick my dick in for longer than 2 mins) and she started to talk a bunch of shit and use personal shit to try and hurt me. Told her I was the one who screwed her over. She quit school.

Was 15 or 16.
Wrestled.
Babysat moms best friends kids.
2 girls 1 boy. 12, 10, and 7.
I sent the kids to bed so I could watch family guy.
The 12 and 7 year old go to bed.
The 10 year old fights me and says she will do ANYTHING to watch family guy.
Told her she needs to help me with wrestling.
To do that she needs to lay on her stomach and pull her pants and panties Down.
I hot dogged the hell out of that tiny ass.
Many many times.
She is 18 now, tiny tits, big ass, and always likes to tease me.

>>743842118
Pics or didn't happen

>>743842108
Wow....fucked up

>>743842205
Didn't have pics. Was scared, plus it was a child.....ummm no pics.

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>>743842277
Chekd. Post ass now.

>>743832875
>"HEY YOU FUCKING KIDS STOP SHOOTING THE DOG'S ASSHOLE"

>>743838166
Bullshit - the amount of noise needed to deafen someone would have been huge, no way a fucking home-made would have been that loud. Fuck, flash-bangs don't even cause permanent damage, and those things are loud as fuck. Lying cunt.

>>743841281
Did he turn you gay or no?
Thats sounds pretty fucked up though

>>743838458
Kek

>>743832875
This is /b/ not jewbook just tell us the real reason..you were fuckin em

>>743842679
Hey, you never know how loud shit can get in a bathroom

>>743842815
Yes, I do - I eat Chipotle.

>>743842704
its b8 retard

>>743842911
sh sh sh
I act like I fall for bait
it was obvious it was bait
I just want to make people feel good

>>743828192
Had a very similar story OP. Though mine started with my step sister, started with a lot of just both being naked and humping then grew into full on Intercourse. A male cousin of mine and I started having anal sex, mainly me letting him fuck me because my dick was to big for his little ass. Then me an the same cousin started tag teaming a female cousin of ours when we would hang out together. . .was a wonderful child hood. Fucked my step sister all the way up to 18. Glory days.

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>>743835370

I cut off my friends ear with a pool skimmer pole out of the garbage.

It was broken, no skimmer net. The telescoping poles that extend real long. Well we popped the cap off the handle and if you swung it like a bat backwards the skinny aluminum pole would shoot out and stick into the ground.

>Thought it'd be funny to shoot at friend.
>he ducks
>screams
>lots of blood
>90% of his ear is stuck in end of pole
>ride him on my handlebars to his house crying
>fear his mom so drop him on porch
>ring doorbell and run

We convinced everyone at school he had to have fat from his ass used to rebuild his ear. Dude still hates me.

>Captcha: kratz childcare

>>743843153
captchafag confirm

>>743842679
I'm just repeating what the guy said

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>>743843312
>pic related

>>743838458
Little shit, that'll teach you to put your feet on the console

>2008
>im 16
>me, my friend at the time (17), and this other guy (19)
>we broke into this old guy's home
>after a little of scavenging the man comes to the top of the stairs and calls out
>we start to run
>man yells "im going to call the police"
>the 19 year old threw something at the man
>he falls down the stairs
>we rush out of there
>friend and i scream at the 19 year old
>he pulls a gun on us and tell us to leave
>he takes everything
>we go or separate ways
>i call the cops and anonymously report a crime
>they found the old man dead at the bottom of the stairs
>he broke his ribs falling and bled out internally
>no one ever knew i was part of it

>>743843639
phonefag confirm
unlike you I use a computer so I couldn't see picture

>>743843739
this

>>743843815
It's not a phone. It's a VM of remix os.

>>743843928
oh, virtual machine
still
I couldn't see image
reeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>743830301
kek
I did the same shit

When I was around 5 or 6, I choked my cat almost to death. The cat never liked me so i got mad when he clawed me and went to far. after 15 seconds of choking it i realized it was suffering and cried my eyes out for about 20 minutes and promised i'd never hurt an animal again.
I still think of that day and feel really bad.

>>743844111
>>743830301
Had a kid like this in elementary school, he would fill entire notebooks with swastikas. Eventually the teachers found out and he got brought into a counseling session with his parents.
> Fucking amateur didnt even try and hide it

>>743842108
kys fake

>be me age 14-15, creepy fucker, no love life
>have crush on girl, shy 9/10 qt (best friend has crush on her too but he says nothing during this. will say more l8r
>texts her on facebook daily, ask her a ton of shit and generally try to get to know her
>becomes friends with a guy that him and his fam is bonded with her fam
>receives advice from him, takes it
>text her everyday during this time, never talked to her irl once
>walks up to her one day, say hi
>shy qt says hi in a way that means she is really not into rn and wants out
>she turns away
>awkward af

got more, will post

>>743838218
Kek

>>743842205
yup

>>743844478
post em nigga

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>be me
>be like 6, maybe 5
>playing shitty blues clues game on orange console I forgot the name of
>have two ferrets, a black striped one and an all white one
>parents leave me with all white ferret while I play my shitty game, striped one in cage
>ok.jpg
>white ferret running around me, razor sharp claws and flipping around in maximum autism'o mode
>jumps on my back several times
>the pain
>remember mom left lunchbox
>have plan

cont?

>>743833547
>pretty sure I am that friend

>>743844932
cont anon
cont

>>743844932
part 2

>lil' nig ferret scratches my back
>open lunchbox
>wait for ferret to jump on me again
>as expected, he jumps and I grab him
>gOTCHAFUCKER.png
>shove ferret in lunch box
>mom comes home, saids we're going out to dinner
>leave ferret in lunchbox for several hours
>come back
>mom asks where white ferret is
>being a dipshit, i had no concept of oxygen and opened the box to see a furry statue of what once was autism'o the ferret
>mom flips out
>run into room
>lock door
>hear banging
>hear name

Long story short she broke the door with her fucking foot and I she then proceedee to shove it up my pooper. In other words I got an ass kicking.

so ye that was the day crackerbarrel mcdowny the ferret died in a lunchbox

>>743845287
P.S.

the nigger striped ferret ran out a month later. must have heard tales of anon the ferret murderer

From third to fourth grade I had a massive, pretty goddamn illegal undertaking where I emptied the trophy cabinet of my school.
It took me a year to do it without anyone noticing.
I still have those trophies hidden in three safes across my house that I've forgotten the codes to and I really wish I could just return them.

creepy fucker cont.
>during this time in photography class with her lil bro
>go once a week and hang with him in class
>earlier had gone to basketball year end slumber party (was freshman)
>had a joke there where minorities turned the tables 1700 style, whites are enslaved and nigs rule the earth
>roleplayed young white bargaining for freedom, was sold at least three times during process
>decide to send note to her lil bro asking to buy his sis as a slave from him
>dude fucking flips, I like him just as friend ad i fucked up hard
>i say sorry but damage is done, he accepts apology (or so i think)
>takes my note home, shows his mom
>mom flips, reads my texts to qt (wasgoodkidstill.png)
>my mom recieves call from qt's mom
>forbidden to contact qt
>fml
>last april, great friends with guy that also liked qt
>he takes her to prom
>end up going to village inn with them after not talking because awkward
>surprisingly not awkward at all
>becomes legit friends with girl, even text her after refriending her (she unfriended me on fb)
>bro is about to become a legit thing with qt
>no longer interested in qt
>fin

less batshit than some of you guys but still good

would've posted earlier but internet cut

>>743845717
Internet cut?
>FeelsBadMan

>>743845825
yeah my fam's shit modem just sometimes decides to be a fag and not put out wifi
>on chromebook, supposed to be catching up on school

>>743846042
My WiFi is just as bad

>>743831308
I wonder if they were done raping her and wanted to see you join in for kicks or if they had only got as far as the pants off and were afraid to go full rape and used you to test her out and see if she'd wake up.

Had a Filipino nanny when I was a little kid. At one point, she was pregnant, I was being a little shit and throwing a tantrum over something, and she tried to grab me and I kicked her right in the belly. Caused her to miscarry.

It's been nearly 30 years, up until my mother retired a couple years ago, we kept her on as my mom's secretary. I always assumed we kept her around because of the incident, probably so she wouldn't sue. No one ever talks about it and I think my mom thinks I don't remember, but I do.

>>743846144
doesn't matter, those fuckers are disgusting
I fucking hate chads

>>743843153
This is fucked

>>743842542
Lmfao!

>>743846628
same

When I was 6 years old, I was at a friend's house and her and her little brother had just gotten a new bunny. While I was petting it, I accidentally pulled its tale off. Apparently those things come off real easy. My friends brother gave me shit about that all through elementary school and high school. I'm 34 now and the dude still lives in my area, and whenever he sees me in the street, he points at me and yells "hey, that's the dude who pulled my rabbit's tale off!".

I'm seriously thinking about kicking the shit out of him next time he does it. I think he might have autism or some shit, though.

>>743830127
Oh they all know and still remember when they space out into the deep recesses of their minds then cringe knowing that they raised an incestuous kid.

>>743846922
>I think he might have autism or some shit, though.

Even better. If he has retard strength it makes his scalp worth that much more.

>>743833312
Same we ended up making out under a pile of clothes, starting getting some where then the teacher pulled the clothes off and we got in trouble. The girl never came back.

>>743831072
what do you mean only you remember?

>>743847321
Probably. I dunno, though. The dude can't be right in the head, giving me shit over a minor event that was an accident, and occurred nearly e0 fucking years ago. I'm not sure I'd feel right beating a retarded kid.

>>743847588
Then next time you see him yell "That's the guy who's rabbits tail I pulled off!" and see what happens.

>>743847770
I'm actually gonna try this. I'm kinda curious now how he'll react.

>>743838218
Kek fucking hell dude

>be me, 10
>go to cousins farm every few weeks
>my cousins, Emily and Megan, would throw crab apples at me
>go there one time
>Emily throws a crabapple at me while Megan drives a go-kart (uncle is into little motorized vehicles like that)
>crabapple hits my jaw, critical strike
>knocks out two teeth
>costs my family lotsa $$$
>never really get an apology but whatever
>fast forward 3 years
>they got rid of the go kart for a quad
>finish dinner, go outside
>"hey anon, wanna drive a quad?"
>fuck yes
>go see the quad
>plan starts hatching
>get taught how to drive it
>do two or 3 laps around the farmstead
>time to execute plan
>pretend to lose control over gravel driveway
>hit wooden stump
>I hit the front, but I'm okay
>cousin flies forward
>breaks her wrist
>she can't play volleyball for two years now
>never got in Trouble

>>743839680
I got you fam

>>743832875
>mentions age
>mentions year

>>743848838
So, we know anon is 19, why is that a big deal?

>>743849114
>mentions age
>doesn't mention year
fine
>mentions year
>doesn't mention age
fine

why would you mention both? this is /b/ not /fit/ or /po/

>>743849948
His story was about nerf guns. Year gives us context about how dope nerf was at the time. Age gives context for how much of a dipshit kid he was at the time. When I was 8 nerf might have midly annoyed my pups. The shit nowadays, well, anons story.

>>743829216
Fake, 6 year olds don't get hard you faggot, they biologically can't until around 9-12 depending on development rate. Fucking pedo cunt.

>>743842108
I see what you did there

>>743842108
screwed her over with screwdrivers

omg im dying

>>743846922
you want to beat up a guy cause he jokes about you pulling a bunny's tail off as a 6 year old. this is next level petty on your half. he may have autism but it sounds like you have downs. relax and learn to not give a shit

>>743850861
I don't know who the fuck told you that. I used to get boners all the time at 5-6.

>>743850861
random anon debunking this, ive had sexual impulses since i can remember, definitely could have a boner by the age of 5

>>743851973
I specifically remember my first boner at 5 to ghost busters when bitch floats in the bed. My mom caught me rewinding it In confusion. my second while watching my neighbor run down her stairs and she had huge bouncing tits around the same time. I'd pop them randomly in first grade and whip it out on the playground and "play guitar" with it literally strumming it going neeneenernaaanernenana even ashley whitney touched it.

>>743850861
dumb fag, weird bio shit can happen to individual people so just because you can't get your dick up now doesn't mean that other fag couldn't get his up at 6

>>743852328
>even Ashley Whitney touched it

XD

>>743842118
Shit I did something very similar to this except I was younger and so was the girl

>>743851973
>>743852172
>>743852328

>implying you're not full of shit

>>743854203
What's so hard (kek) to believe anon? I used to get boners when I was around that age too, and somehow picked up that they were called boners. I had it in my head they got that name because there was a bone in your dick, so I told my mom my theory. Needless to say she beat me.

>>743854203
> implying samefag
Idk who other two anons are but I definitely popped boners all the time and that bitch ashley touched it on the fucking pirate shit on the playground.

>>743854488
>Implying a girl ever touched your dick

>>743854488
What pirate shit?

>also double dubs checked

>>743854488
post ashleys fb

>>743855533
Lol no we're actually still friends and I'm pretty sure I'm the only dick strumming guitar player from first grade and I don't need that shit popping up on jewbook

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Lol >>743828192

>>743855614
Wait, I... what? You strum your guitar with your dick? Wouldn't that cause mad callouses? And decrease sensitivity... so you can fuck for days! You fucking madman, you're a genius! I'm getting right fucking on this! I do slap picking on my bass though, should work out right?

>>743828192
Stole some money once to start my own pokemon card selling business. My parents basically accused the pressure washing guy instead until I admitted to it. Never saw the guy again. Sorta feel bad. Eh. Not too bad. Dumb kid. Wouldn't do it again. Done stealing. For now.

>>743844478
yeah, we're waiting

>>743828192
>find the copy of pokemon yellow my parents are going to give me for my birthday
>carefully take out the game and seal the cellophane back up with a lighter
>on my birthday piss and moan that there's no game in the box and they take it back and get me something else

>>743829216
dude what? that doesn't even make sense

>>743855533
kek hell yeah . rollin for dis

>>743855533
>>743855614
Dude he got trip dubs, be a /b/ro and do the damn thing

>>743844260
there's this kid who was in my school who tagged LK everywhere. All over the school, property around it everywhere lol

be born.

>>743850861
You thinking of sperm production? I was humping pillows at 3

>>743857025
I knew this guy Meds who tagged all over the county, he was so prolific that when he got caught he was able to convince them he was a large tagger crew and got off on a misdemeanor. Did something like 500k in property damage.

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>Be me
>5th grade, just got split into groups for a project
>Working with normie nigger chad and stacy
>Nigger chad decides to tell me to suck his nuts
>I tell him the same because I didn't feel like taking that shit
>Cunt gets up and tells the teacher I told him to suck my nuts
>Teacher writes me up even after I told her the truth
>Chad gets off scott free
>MFW

>>743859363
Legit thought this story would yet again end in gay sex

>>743857025
Yo dude I was the guy who tagged LK everywhere holy heck.

>>743828192
Not going to greentext because this is in the earliest parts of my memory, and I can't remember many details. When I was perhaps 4, maybe 5 years old, my brother, who is 2 years older than me explained roughly what sex was and we ended up making awkward attempts at it (I ended up being bottom, even though there was no full penetration, just lots of rubbing on my butt.) Fast forward to today, I transition, family knows and is somewhat accepting. One day while hanging out with family, I use my brothers phone to look something up (my phone was dead.) Fucking see "shemale incest" in recent search history, been avoiding him since then.

>>743861856
Well that was an onion of a story

Worst thing. Well, I didn't really do much I felt bad about that wasn't my fault. But, once I was lookin at a girl and realised I could see her panties. Felt bad for ages for looking and not saying anything. She was so cute, I was 14 she was 13. I feel bad when I feel like I've taken advantage of people.

>>743828192
>be me
>34 years ago
>get born
fucked up my life pretty bad

>>743861957
Sorry if it sounds rushed/choppy, pretty tired atm, just procrastinating going to bed.

>>743862279
That story had layers bro

>>743835976
Wi laughed. Thanks.

>>743830127
>>743829216
>>743828192
Fake and gay

>Be me
>Be 4 or five
>Have a cousin that lives next door lets call him Jay
>Jay is 6 or 7 at the time
>Go over to his house and watch teen titans
>Raven's dad shows up and scares me
>Cousin takes me to the closet
>says the only way to leave is for him to kiss my dick and balls.
>pull pants down and licks my dick
>right as that happens Aunt opens the door
I don't remember what happened after that. We are chill now but we don't talk about it.

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>>743855657
i giggled

>anon 8 years old or so
>into fireworks (winter time)
>saw some kids jumping on a Bounce house
>had ligther with me (was a pyro till 12 years old or so).
>pull up a "whistler", light it up.. throw it towards the bounce house.
>i waa thinking something like .. "i guess it wont reach im not that strong at throwing"
>Whistler made its fucking noise..
>Ruuuuun anoooon
>Bounce house starts burning with kids inside
>Arrives home... hides.. watch tv.
>dad arrrives.. what happened anon?
>idk i was watching Tv.. not...

I Guess at the end i dont know what happened.. but dad had to pay for a new bounce house...

>>743828914
Fuck man..

>>743860053
hoped for

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>>743828192

> Had my younger cousins lick my dick

> Ate my friends sisters asshole during a sleepover

> Killed my hamster with a steak knife and threw it in the lake

> Hunt hundreds of insects and lizzards with BB guns

> Smoke weed every day

> Triple C's

> Suck my moms dildo

> Piss on my friends crotch while he was asleep so he thinks he pissed the bed

> Sold that same friend a bag of tea leaves under the impression it was weed

> Go on 4chan

> Vandalize the neighborhood and steal out of cars at night

> Shoplift beers from the gas station

> Steal a Christmas tree from Publix supermarket and light it on fire with rubbing alcohol and lighters also stolen

> Ride through grocery store isles on my bike butt-ass naked while drinking stolen chocolate milk

> Pretend I didn't get tagged when playing tag, although they really did touch me

> Run from police and hide on a rooftop

This was all pre-thirteen, it gets worse as I get older honestly.

You can all feel better about yourselves now.

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>>743833547
Was it like this?

>>743854203
You don't always need to be right, anon.

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>be me
>9
>nephew was 6
>after school we would use the bathroom at the same time
>we would have a contest
>who can piss the longest
>I win
>I stopped two years later
Two years of pissing with my nephew

>>743864691
more

>>743864691
>Pretend I didn't get tagged when playing tag, although they really did touch me
You monster

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>>743859363
In 4th grade I traded kid my doritos for chocolate cupcakes during lunch.
>eat cupcakes
>go to recess
>notice he still hasn't touched Doritos puts em lunchbox
>tell teacher he stole my doritos and hid them in lunchbox
>mfw my fat ass is digesting doritos and stolen cupcakes

>>743856199
Genius my dumb ass would of put it back never thought of double downing... then again I didn't get many presents. Mostly cigarette burns and forced buttsex

>Kindergarten countless frog impalement's.
>14 stole my closest friend homework assignment so he got an F.
>15 was a bully in school
>16 sew hedgehog into a ball with string and threw it into lake to drown, for me being malicious.
>20 garroted male cat with string in shower for marking territory indoors.
>26 socially acceptable shooting random wild animals because I wear a hat and green clothes.
>28 gasoline + hedgehog for me being drunk, bored and malicious.
>29 bare hand strangled cat in shower for pissing in my bed.
I am a narcissistic asshole, but at least I don't hurt people.

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>start tagging
>get 2 niggers to do wit me
>start stealin shit never got caught stealing like 400 dollars of spray cans and Pokemon cards
>tag somebridge
>was by myself
>Writetag
>try writing both niggers tags by mine
>some old guy with a bike sees me writing last tag
>Imfucked.exe has started as an administrator
>I grab my bag and both cans and fucking bolt out of there
>Run towards playground
>notice old guy stops for pics on tag
>Imfucked.exe has stopped working
>see old guy coming
>FUCK.jpg
>start crying like a bitch thinking im gonna get grounded from pc if I get caught
>Run towards some hill old guy is behind hill on sidewalk on bike looking for me
>Try running back to bridge to get home see old guy coming back
>Start crying like a little bitch again
>Old guy stops me
>old fuck starts filming me
>starts asking me where I live and parents phone number
>Retardmode.exe has started
>tell him my shit
>start crying and going home
>people at park say whats wrong and shit and explain
>some fuck says do you have your cans
>Says yes
>Gives them so the fucker doesn't call the cops
>calls cops and explains
>Says I can go home after
>YES.png
>go home
>go to room get dressed and shit wash paint off hands
>Then I man up and go to my mom and start crying and explain and say not to get mad
>mom laughs and says its ok
>FUCKYES.jpg
>mom gives me something and tells me to give to aunt which lives like a min away
>Comeback home hear dad talking to some rando at the door
>looks over
>sees cop explaining shows video of me crying and shit and pictures of my tags
>Im fucked(3).png
>mom calls me sit down on couch and cry a little
>Police officer sees me walks in and talks to me
>cry when he says I could go jail
>cop leaves
>dad talks to me a lil abou it and not to do it
>Stop tagging and stealing
>Noone ever found out of me stealin and the other 2
>never got in trouble
>MISSIONPASSED+RESPECT

>>743867953
its because ur a little punk as bitch who cant hurt people and only go after small animals.
your a joke fucking kill yourself u wanna be edgelord faggot

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>>743833547
i did the same

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>>743847529
he was a men in black all along

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>>743831951
you filthy monster ! how dare you

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>Be me
>13
>Went on some schooltrip for 3 days with all students of the same year.
>Did a very long hike to some honey bee farm.
>Shit was boring
>After we got back to the hotel the teachers wanted to do a quiz with all the students in the cafetaria.
>I didn't feel like it.
>Asked some friends what they thought about it and they felt the same way.
>4 of us decide to hide under the beds in the bedroom untill the quiz was over.
>Been there for like an hour
>Suddenly a student & a teacher comes running in.
>The student snitched us
>mfw the teacher thought we were kidnapped or something, even informed the police.
>Start crying because I realised how stupid I was by doing this.
>I just wanted to really skip that boring quiz.
>Spent the other 2 getting detention while the others kids were having fun.
>mfw

>>743842890
>Ceramic walls
>Small room
>Metal doors closed
Plausible
>Flashbangs are loud and never hurt no one
Uh-huh. Go back to playing cs.

>>743842118
Ok then, send us her Instagram faggot. Proof of her existence or it didn't happen

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>>743844478
Dump everything faggot. I'm here for a while more.

>>743868258
>punk as bitch who can't hurt people... Kill yourself.
You are saying this as something derogatory, when it really is not.
He is only following the law, he cannot and will not hurt you, your kids or your pets.

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>>743868258
Nigger tier ideology. Stay an outcast. Society doesn't need you nor do we want you.

>>743828192
posting on /b/

>>743830750
You did the right thing. Its not OK to be scared of butterflies and now he knows that.

>>743835976
Your brother was a dipshit for not fapping in the bathroom like a normal kid.

>>743869638
>He is only following the law
Animal abuse is against the law.

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>>743833055
>just stole a controller.
are you a gril
because only a bitch wouldn't be able to see this for the heinous crime that it is

>>743832875
Fucking kek anon

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>>743870247
>Animal abuse is against the law.
Is this animal abuse?

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>>743837099
Same
My older brother (2 years older)
Showed me masturbation, then from that shit escalated fast, i was sucking his dick he was sucking mine. But i loved doing it, except when he stuck his dick in my ass, shit was painful as fuck

>>743850861
You retard, first time I've see my son get hard at about 1 year while peeing in the shower. I hope this didn't happend because he was with his mother tho...

>>743871149
it should be but some people put profit over anything else

>>743838218
was the kool aid good?

>>743868804
Thought you were going to say the student and teacher fucked on the bed above your little faggot ass.

>>743850861
This is bullshit. I remember getting hard when I was that age.

>>743832875
Take my kekels friend. All yours

I stole a pencil from school

>>743828192
>be me
>14
>have gril over
>decide to get freakaay
>fucked her in missionary for sole purpose of procreation
>knocked her up
>mfw I'm 32 and have 16yo child
>mfw no face

>>743828914
>>tells his parents that i said black people are troublemakers to screw me over

I mean that nigra made trouble soo...

>be me at 10-11
>brother and I love lighting mini fires with magnifying glasses
>light a small leaf to the point of smoldering in the middle of our cul de sac
>nigger kid down the street joins in and says "I'll take care of dis!" and drops a huge pile of dead leaves on the smoking leaf
>we think that extinguished it, but smoke begins pouring out of the pile
>the leaves catch on fire and the pile starts burning from the inside out, producing a ton of smoke
>plume of smoke drifts around and sets off old Russian neighbor's smoke detectors
>he comes running out yelling "VAHT ARR YU DOING!! STOOOPEED KEEDS YU VILL GET THE FIRE DEPARTMENT CALLED HERE!!!"
>get read the riot act and have to stomp out the pile
>parents find out later, just tell us not to do it in the court or with the neighbor next time

>Went on school trip my junior year
>one day I felt really horny
>decided I'd sneak into one of the teacher's room
>the teachers were having some sort of meeting and all their doors were open
>check if anyone is watching
>no one nearby so I go in
>I frantically look through her clothes and find her panties
>she had a fat ass
>rub those panties on my dick
>decided to take it up a notch and rub my dick all over her pillow
>she slept with some stuffed animal and I rub my dick all over that
>saw her phone and rubbed my balls all over that
>decided to leave the room out of fear that I'll be caught
>decided to go back in a second time and I find more panties and rub my balls on them
>leave the room again
>go back in one last time and decide that I wanna nut
>get her panties and start stroking it
>I see on the other bed another teacher's panties
>so I walk over and start stroking it with hers
>I bust a fat nut
>I leave the room so paranoid but proud that I did that
>even till today I have no regrets and wonder when they are wearing the panties I nutted with

>>743873550
Son or daughter? What country?

>be 9 or so
>have a massive, shaggy black dog who follows me and my brother everywhere if she's let outside
>she doesn't need a leash because she just follows us
>she gives zero fucks about anything
>eats grass and decomposing fruit peels but doesn't throw up, also once sniffed a neighbor's cable box thingy and promptly kicked it over
>nigger construction crew comes to the cul de sac for a week, dog appoints herself as chairdog of the welcoming committee overseeing licking and jumping
>runs over to greet them, they yell at us that they'll call the police on the dog
>I call the dog back but let her outside with us every day for the rest of the week

>>743846144
Id guess the second one

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>>743828192

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>no sex for 2 weeks

>>743847841
Or "that's the guy on Craigslist who wanted me to fuck him"

>>743828192

>Be me around 6
>Look like cute girl with round cute face
>Wear my hair like the Beatles in their best years having bangs like Lt. Uhura from classic Star Trek
>Have non-descript wide, flowing clothing; black pants and white shirt without sleeves
>Also have colorful strands of strings around my arms
>Play near the street, car stops near me
>Shady guy with porn stache asks me to come closer because he wants to ask me something
>TrustNotFound.jpg
>Carefully hold distance
>Shady guy follows me and begins to get nervous, tells me he is a cop and I will get into trouble
>"COME HERE THIS INSTANT, GIRL!" he demands, opens his car door, tries to snatch me
>Got a small selfmade slingshot and aim at him
>Panick while he is coming at me
>Place a peeble in his fucking face, turn around and run
>Other kids scream
>Guy swears like no tomorrow, jumps into his car and floors it
>Tell my parents, get battered, grounded for a month and they take my slingshot
>A few days later, newspapers tell the story about a kid being abducted, raped and killed just a few streets away
>Description of the culprit matches shady guy
>Only I connect the dots
>He is out there

They never found him. I'm 49 now.

>>743850861
nah i got boners when i was four

>>743855741
Play the Seinfeld theme

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>be me
>i used to spend a lot of time in my cousins house
>i was like 10
>they were always alone so we used to swear and watch porn a lot
>one day, watching TV, 13 yo cousin says he wants to show me something
>i say okay
>he shows me his flacid dick
>i say nice and keep watching the TV
>nothing really happened

>>743875943
I showed my cousin my dick. Is that you anon?

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>>743828192
>be 8
>hyper conservative-catholic household
>parent has rabbit ranch, adjacent to pond
>see three albino rabbit
>albino rabbit has red eyes
>remembered that one south park episode with demonic forest animals
>think that the rabbit is a satan's acolyte
>drowns the rabbit to the pond and left their corpse floating
>only realized what I did wrong years later

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>>743828914
Never relax, fam.

>>743843804
are you a nigger by any chance?

On my hockey team we had this fatfag who would eat McDonald's in the parking lot before practice and routinely barfed after a few drills or laps. Well he was a lard ass and resembled a trash bag filled with cottage cheese and a greedyfag so he'd sneak your gatorade when you were on the ice and kill the whole thing. So one practice me and all friends hide all the gatorade and leave just waters out. I convinced my friends to all spit into an empty pepsi can, I then top it off with piss. We hide it for the first half of practice so it gets cold. When he's busy being fat and the worst person to ever run point drills I set the can out on the bench. After he nearly dies of heart disease at 11 he goes to the bench wheezing. He sees the pepsi and his beetus takes over and he grabs it and starts chugging, nearly finishes whole thing before he realizes it's a salty booby trap. Pukes. I call him out for being a sloppy bitch. He throws his stick at me and chases me around the ice for a good minute moving faster than I've ever seen him move. He gives up and plops down on his back about to succumb to his bad diet. I skate over drop my pants and with my steaming hot sweaty ass, aim my dripping butthole for his nose and plop a squat right on his face. While he's ears deep in my swamp ass I give it a wiggle to get it nice and greasy. He cries and quit the team. His mom and another parent flip on my mom and coach and try to get me kicked off the team.

I went on to score 8 goals in our winning championship game. He remains a virgin through high school.

>>743876701
YOU KILLED INNOCENT WABBITS!

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>>743828192
>be me
>be 11
>think I'm a pretty funny guy
>new kid is in class
>he is foreign, don't remember where but his English was bad and he had a thick accent
>make fun of him for it
>think im being a funny guy because people are laughing
>physically shove him out of his desk in class
>teacher just tells me to stop with no real reprocussions
>continue tripping and shoving this kid because I think I'm being funny
>one day kid I'm bullying comes in with his hood up
>I can barely see under it
>his hair is all fucked up
>pull his hood down and shove him out of his desk again
>super bad haircut
>other kids laugh because we're assholes
>turns out kid I'm bullying is poor and his dad tried cutting his hair and it didn't turn out
>he cries softly in his desk
>I recognize suddenly I'm not funny
>never talk to him again or apologize

I cringe thinking about this to this day.

>>743877875
This one made me feel

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>>743869912
>nigger tier ideology
The only people who do shit like that anon are niggers though.

>>743830750
I was going to make fun of your friend for being afraid of butterflies but then I realised I have mottephobia and have also been scared shitless when a butterfly flew near me

>>743835976
>brother closes the window
wait, what?

>>743870241
>normal kid
yeah hold on let me just get off to the floor tiles