Ask a Schizophrenic anything! I may take a while to reply sometimes, be patient.
Free (you)s for all posters!
evening shinobu
why do you make these threads? just curious you dont have to tell me
>>743152374
>evening shinobu
Howdy.
>why do you make these threads?
The short simple answer, to kill time, and chat with some anons.
The short, not so simple answer, I'm looking, for... something.
>just curious you dont have to tell me
What would be the point of an AMA if I denied questions like that? Silly goose.
>>743152155
Been browsing your threads for like 2 months, but usually on my phone which for some reason can't post. How you doing tonight OP?
>>743152488
what do you expect to find in a /b/ thread?
>>743152155
Where did u learn and who told u u were schizophrenic how do u know its real lol
How many fingers am I holding up
What sort of schizophrenia? Is the medication effective. How do I drag my most likely bipolar brother in to get his shit under control? Give a really sexy (you)
>>743152608
Four
How do I give my life purpose?
No matter how much I try to be useful to others or do fun stuff I just feel depressed and unfulfilled.
>>743152155
OP are faggots.
How many Shinobu pictures do you have?
>>743152488
Well, what are you looking for, mysterios gentleman?
>>743152537
>but usually on my phone which for some reason can't post
Why can't you post from your phone?
>How you doing tonight OP?
Less than good, borderline bad. It would be bad if I didn't have weed.
>>743152545
>what do you expect to find in a /b/ thread?
Well, I'm testing a theory on something. So I expect to find some sort of evidence.
>>743152583
>Where did u learn and who told u u were schizophrenic how do u know its real lol
Uh doctor.
The rest of that question is dumb.
>>743152608
>How many fingers am I holding up
Obviously three.
i have lsd and shrooms
ive done lsd before
which do i take tomorrow?
do a write up of your theory so i can make a conjecture
>>743152641
>What sort of schizophrenia?
Paranoid Schizophrenic (which is an out of date term)
>Is the medication effective.
I don't take any
>How do I drag my most likely bipolar brother in to get his shit under control?
I mean, forcing him into therapy won't do him any good. You have to convince him that he needs the help, and make him want to get it. Otherwise you're wasting time, effort and money.
>>743152706
>How do I give my life purpose?
Isn't that something you should ask yourself?
>>743152716
>OP are faggots.
Trufax
>>743152721
>How many Shinobu pictures do you have?
Something like 420~.
>>743152754
>Well, what are you looking for, mysterios gentleman?
See : >>743152757
>>743152933
>which do i take tomorrow?
Mushrooms.
>do a write up of your theory so i can make a conjecture
My theory on what..? Why I think you should take mushrooms?
Uhh, cause you haven't done it yet.
are traps gay?
>>743152155
Do you drink or consume nicotine?
If you had to choose between being homeless and getting committed to a mental hospital, what would it be?
What do you think of forced sterilization of severly mentally ill people (you)?
>>743153037
Only if they like men.
>>743153017
the theory youre testing
they're coming
Hi schizOP. I've been meaning to ask because I remember you explained it once and I remember it being a good explanation. How exactly is the world we live in actually hell?
>>743152155
you and me are the same light anon
are you familiar with the nobody phenomena?
here's a place to get you started, I belive this stuff is quite important, then again I might be wrong, but w/e
http://www.angelfire.com/oh2/peterr/TheNobody.html
(quotes from the webpage:)
Against this nobody...everything they do, for him, has already occured and nothing they do can be successful because it has already been defeated."
*******************************************
"He is awake and aware and cannot be killed. A combination they cannot deal with."
does this resonate with you anon?
>>743152757
>Why can't you post from your phone?
for some reason the image verification doesn't work on my mobile browser, and im too lazy to dl an app since I rarely post.
Also is the conclusion for owarimonogatari any good, havent gotten around to watching it.
>>743153037
>are traps gay?
Pic related
>>743153065
>Do you drink or consume nicotine?
Negative. I only smoke weed.
>If you had to choose between being homeless and getting committed to a mental hospital, what would it be?
Probably homeless.
>What do you think of forced sterilization of severly mentally ill people (you)?
Pretty stupid thing to do. We are the people who lead your top fields. You don't want us gone.
>>743153121
>the theory youre testing
To coerce the universe into allowing something to happen.
>>743153184
>they're coming
The're already here.
>>743153199
>Hi schizOP
Hiya.
>How exactly is the world we live in actually hell?
I probably had some analogy I used to explain it which I don't remember.
But the short answer is; if there is a heaven or a hell. This surely must be hell, for in front of us all we see is suffering. Forever doomed to live in this universe and suffer.
>>743153396
>>743153037
>are traps gay?
I picked the wrong pic whoops
>>743153396
what do you want to universe to allow to happen
also your type of illness is not what the leaders in our stem fields have
>>743153396
How have you been lately?
>>743153293
>are you familiar with the nobody phenomena?
I am not.
>http://www.angelfire.com/oh2/peterr/TheNobody.html
Yea, there's no way I can read that. That background + font color fucks my eyes.
>>743153334
>for some reason the image verification doesn't work on my mobile browser
Oh, well that sucks.
>Also is the conclusion for owarimonogatari any good
I don't think I've seen it, either.
>>743153510
>what do you want to universe to allow to happen
Something that will change everything.
>also your type of illness is not what the leaders in our stem fields have
Maybe not all of them specifically have Schizophrenia. But, they all likely have some 'mental illness'.
>>743153630
>How have you been lately?
Been pretty shitty today.
You are awesome schizOP, keep it up man :D
You said that ganja helped your schizophrenia today. I heard that it exacerbates it?
Favourite book/film genre?
What was school like for you?
hello hello
>>743153689
what do you mean change everything
>>743153907
Goodbye goodbye
>>743153923
Take a hint, they're being vague because they're not sure / not actually searching for something
>>743153864
>You said that ganja helped your schizophrenia today
Helps is a strong word.
>I heard that it exacerbates it?
In reality, it does. But, it makes everything "feel" like it's under control more.
>Favourite book/film genre?
Psychological horror
>What was school like for you?
Boring, and a waste of time.
>>743153923
>what do you mean change everything
To shift the path of the universe to fit my desire.
>>743153907
>hello hello
Hiya
>>743154051
Do you realize that this whole universe-thing is just part of your illness?
>>743154031
>Take a hint, they're being vague because they're not sure / not actually searching for something
I know exactly what I'm looking for.
I'm being vague intentionally. It's more fun to give just enough information for them to piece it together themselves than to just outright say.
>>743154239
>Do you realize that this whole universe-thing is just part of your illness?
It may seem that way to you. I have plenty of evidence supporting that your statement is false.
You interested in Wicca/paganism? Seems related to your goal, it's all about shifting the universe to your desire.
>>743152155
Does the severity of your hallucinations fluctuate between day to day? Can you rate the intensity on a scale from 1-10?
>>743154051
>what do you mean change everything
To shift the path of the universe to fit my desire
sounds pretty egoistic, unless you would change everything in a way that would improve stuff for everybody imo.
Anyways you need 144,000 focused conduits to make an impact of any kind, I've done the math :P
>>743154051
hello anon another fucking boring night. the anxiety is eating me alive
What happens if you take hallucinogens?
>>743154322
>You interested in Wicca/paganism?
I'm somewhat interested in paganism but I don't know much about it.
>Seems related to your goal, it's all about shifting the universe to your desire.
Hmm, interesting, I'll have to look into that.
>>743154396
>Does the severity of your hallucinations fluctuate between day to day?
Yes.
>Can you rate the intensity on a scale from 1-10?
Today? Probably about a 7/10.
>>743154463
>sounds pretty egoistic
I would say it's the opposite. It's quite selfless.
>unless you would change everything in a way that would improve stuff for everybody imo.
That's unrealistic.
>>743154524
>hello anon another fucking boring night.
My night's been pretty shit, too.
>>743154668
Why was your night shit anon?
>>743153293
Posted by Swinging on Spirals: Not sure if I can explain it properly. I kind of 'see' gaps in information. I don't know how to express that correctly. But, to make this brief, I 'feel' like I know what this guy would have to be like. I don't know 'who' it is, but I know what his personality would be like. This is way outside all the 'CIA' tried to kill him bullshit.
He is 'hidden' from them because the work that takes place is not so much in the 'material', but he ends up 'influencing' the material.
This 'influence' cannot be pinned down, because it doesn't originate in the material...so, it could be ANYBODY. But, if he was 'elite' or in the Illuminati or things like that, then they would have been able to figure out who it was through energy signatures, bloodline, most likely candidates, etc.
We hear it over, and over, and over. That he has 'God' on his side. Why do people say that? Because he is 'working' in the non-material, which ends up manifesting in the material.
But They don't know how someone could possibly do that, because it is so extremely advanced. They thought no one could be more advanced than them in the non-material aspects of controlling how majic manifests into the material.
He literally does stuff that is impossible to Them. Their only answer to this is to say that he is working through God...or actually, God is working directly through him.
HOW does a human do what Nobody does...ie, working in the non-material with absolute precision and in such epic sized changes, and yet remain invisible?
So the hunt was on. To find him through astrological charts, personality profiling, ancient texts, areas that have been influenced, etc. Imagine what 'They' have at their fingertips for this kind of search! Data-mining, phishing, red-flagged words and topics, narrowing down the field.
Eventually 'They' would find him. Try to use him...not 'arrest' him or try to murder him. They would want to find out who the hell he could possibly be.
>>743152155
Do people with schizophrenia actually hear voices. If so is it just your voice blurting things out or do they have their own voices.
I have a theory as to why they are here. In the manner that they speak of the universe, they are talking of a sort of fated occurrence or an unwritten destiny. My first guess as to what this entails would be that they are simply searching for a compatible mate.
>25 year old edgy neckbeard posting cute anime pics to avatarfag
>the year will be 2020, and we'll STILL be seeing daily threads made by this schizo
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
>>743154790
I take it you're also schizophrenic.
>>743154934
Better go back to your trap- and bbc-superiority-threads then.
Have any irl friends op?
You say school was a waste of time. Did you get good grades or bad, how did people treat you there?
>>743154934
This guy will get board and stop the real problem is the trannies on every board
>>743154771
>Why was your night shit anon?
I slept like shit, I've had a killer headache all night, fucking apathetic emptiness, I've had a stupid ass ring in my head for like 6 hours.
>>743154790
What exactly am I looking at here?
>>743154897
>Do people with schizophrenia actually hear voices.
Not everyone with Schizophrenia does. But, it's safe to say the majority do.
>If so is it just your voice blurting things out or do they have their own voices.
Sometimes it is my own "internal voice" saying random shit (AKA intrusive thoughts)
But the most of the time it's voices other than my own.
>>743154927
>My first guess as to what this entails would be that they are simply searching for a compatible mate.
That's an interesting guess, what makes you say that?
>>743154934
>FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
You're doomed anon, I'm here for good.
>>743155238
if i was his dad id be fucking that boi pussy
>>743152155
When DAFUQ we going to Mars?
>>743155245
>You're doomed anon, I'm here for good.
>>743155168
>Have any irl friends op?
I have a few, I hung out with some earlier today.
>You say school was a waste of time.
A massive waste of time.
>Did you get good grades or bad,
I was a straight A student when I was young. Then in like 6th or 7th grade I just stopped caring. I would get straight A's for the first semester then just stop going to school, so my grades were always like C's.
>how did people treat you there?
Everyone knew me, but I didn't know anyone, except one or two weird kids. Everyone was friendly to me, never really got bullied.
>>743155238
>real problem is the trannies on every board
This.
>>743155424
>When DAFUQ we going to Mars?
Isn't that nerdy rich dude going to Mars in like 2020 or something?
>>743155436
>mfw
>>743155245
>it's voices other than my own
Freaky.
Does those particular voices stay the same or is it a new voice. Also do you ever mistake one of those voices as someone standing next to you or walking by.
>>743152155
>55
Congrats on your impressive fives!
hey sunshine <3 I hope today is okay.
>>743155506
Lotta nerdy rich dudes 1st native martians....how long before we go to war with native martians
>>743155546
>Freaky.
I'm used to it.
>Does those particular voices stay the same or is it a new voice.
There are three persistent voices, but there are also others that just come and go.
>Also do you ever mistake one of those voices as someone standing next to you or walking by.
I don't think I have.
>>743155557
>Congrats on your impressive fives!
I see what you tried to do there. A for effort.
>>743155590
>hey sunshine <3
Hello. :3
>I hope today is okay.
It's been pretty shitty today, actually.
>>743154668
fuck man this anxiety. anyway, what did your night shit?
>>743155296
You are actually a wast of human skin ill enjoy the day we get to execute filth like you
>>743155728
that's no good! what made it less than good?
>>743155711
>Lotta nerdy rich dudes
Elon Musk is his name, I think? I don't do well with names.
>how long before we go to war with native martians
What makes you think there are native Martians?
>>743155750
>fuck man this anxiety.
Fuck anxiety indeed.
>>743155750
>>743155769
Slept like shit, have had a splitting headache all night, an incessant ringing in my head, and apathetic emptiness(yay).
>>743155762
>You are actually a wast of human skin ill enjoy the day we get to execute filth like you
Based
>>743155711
>Implying our society isn't run by nerdy rich dudes
>>743155877
I hope you find some peace and rest soon then, spook-chan.
>>743155968
>I hope you find some peace and rest soon then
I probably won't get to sleep for several more hours.
Any games you play/recommend OP?
>>743155877
Like we're going to colonize Mars I mean the first humans born on Mars. Honestly I think it's just a matter of time before we start some kind of skirmish will the Mars in the future if we actually send people there
>>743156033
I'll keep you in my thoughts, at least <3 I'm going to try sleeping myself, I think.
>>743155921
Simply said there's a lot. Money runs the show we know dat
>>743156092
>Any games you play/recommend OP?
Dark Souls 1, 2 and 3.
>>743156101
>Like we're going to colonize Mars I mean the first humans born on Mars. Honestly I think it's just a matter of time before we start some kind of skirmish will the Mars in the future if we actually send people there
oooh, that's easy. It'll be 2091.
>>743156164
>I'll keep you in my thoughts, at least <3
Thanks, anon.
>I'm going to try sleeping myself, I think.
Sleep well, and sweet dreams.
>>743156171
You implied that we'd fight them because the nerdy rich dudes would found the colony. I said I doubt they'd fight their own kind.
>>743155877
>splitting headache all night:
i share that
>an incessant ringing in my head:
thats for me too!
>and apathetic emptiness:
this never goes away
add to that knee pain that is the mix for a perfect shitty night
Favourite poem(s) OP?
>>743155728
>I'm used to it
How long have you been diagnosed with it.
>There are three persistent voices
Do they have their own personality.
Do you take pills or do you have other things to deal with it.
>>743156236
Hey. It's the one TheoryAnon who said you were in search of a possible SO. I said such because people occasionally believe that finding their true love is up to fate, and the only way to test fate is by trying.
Also, I love Dark Souls; I've only played 2, though.
>>743156293
Then I believe we are on the same page anon
>>743156297
>thats for me too!
You say that like it's a good thing.
>this never goes away
It's worse when it goes away, because it always comes back.
>add to that knee pain that is the mix for a perfect shitty night
Back and knee pain here.
>>743156352
>Favourite poem(s) OP?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
They are all dead
So are you
>>743156356
>How long have you been diagnosed with it.
Four or five years.
>Do they have their own personality.
They do. One is kind of bitchy, one is really nice and one is just kind of "there".
>Do you take pills or do you have other things to deal with it.
I don't take any pills, and I just kind of deal with it myself.
>>743152155
I want to know what you are looking for. You said you were looking for "...something" i feel like I might have it. Let me know.
>>743156588
Dat one stop shop? Whatchu got homie
>>743156470
>I said such because people occasionally believe that finding their true love is up to fate
I never mentioned fate though. Nor do I think love is up to fate.
>and the only way to test fate is by trying
Is that how fate works?
I don't really know, as I don't believe in fate.
Sometimes to truly understand something you must believe you don't.
>>743156470
>Also, I love Dark Souls; I've only played 2, though.
You need to play 1 and 3. They're far better than 2.
>>743156588
>I want to know what you are looking for.
Why is that?
>i feel like I might have it. Let me know.
Have what?
>>743156809
I think he's trying to trick you into revealing the truth of your reasoning for being here via confusion.
>>743156912
>I think he's trying to trick you into revealing the truth of your reasoning for being here via confusion.
It's going to take more than that to trick me.
Would society consider you a human or a reject?
>>743156912
>I think he's trying to trick you into revealing the truth of your reasoning for being here via confusion.
Also, there's a much easier way to get the answer. If they're smart enough to figure it out.
>>743157019
>Would society consider you a human or a reject?
A human reject.
>>743152155
What's the difference between a schizophreniac and someone's who's not op?
>>743157095
>What's the difference between a schizophreniac and someone's who's not op?
I dunno, what?
>>743157017
>It's going to take more than that to trick me
Then explain this one.
Why do you post shinobu when she isn't even best grill?
>>743157190
>Then explain this one.
This is grade-school shit.
He has a microscopic gravity field generator underneath the thing and as he closes his hand it triggers the gravity field to activate and destroy it turning it into a tiny black hole that can't sustain itself because it lacks the density to eat anything.
>>743157261
>Why do you post shinobu when she isn't even best grill?
Because she is best grill.
>>743157365
Wrong. Kaiki is best grill, even if he hasnt had any recent screen time
>>743157530
>Wrong. Kaiki is best grill,
While I will concede that Kaiki is a great character, he's still only 3rd overall.
>>743157365
>He has a microscopic gravity field generator
Well shit it all makes sense now i was sure he might actually have magic powers, Thanks for clearing that one up fer me.
>>743157709
>i was sure he might actually have magic powers
In reality, science that is advanced enough is indistinguishable from magic. You were basically right.
>Thanks for clearing that one up fer me.
No problem friend.
>>743152155
You're no longer depressed? Good for you.
>>743158164
>You're no longer depressed?
Nope, now it's just emptiness.
>Good for you.
It is better than depression.
>>743158258
I need to step away for a few minutes, if someone could make sure the thread doesn't 404 while I'm gone that'd be great.
>>743158258
>now it's just emptiness
>It is better than depression
Emptiness and depression are more or less the same, It's just another way of hiding it but you never deal with the problem.
>>743152155
get the fuck back to tumblr candyass faggot
>>743158696
>Emptiness and depression are more or less the same
Not even.
Depression is like an overwhelming "sadness" for lack of a better term.
Emptiness is just the lack of any emotion. Not happy, sad, mad, just nothing.
>>743158775
>get the fuck back to tumblr candyass faggot
Get back to the shed and suck some more dicks fagboi
>>743152155
I'm worried I have some of the cognitive symptoms. but there's times when I feel completely normal and happy. I abused cannabis heavily for years and suffered from vitamin 12 deficiency for years.
very concerned and uncertain. I had a great orgasm earlier and felt amazing afterwards.
anyway I can talk to you a messenger?
add my kik
last_youth
Same anon who posted a couple months back? I remember you posted the same anime chick.
Hope life's going all right for you, I'm going through rough times myself (depression, worsening anxiety, people leaving me).
>>743159169
Both feelings feed off each other, Depressed people also feel empty and people who feel empty also feel depressed.
>>743159240
>I had a great orgasm earlier and felt amazing afterwards.
Orgasms are good for that.
>add my kik
>last_youth
Will do.
>>743159346
>Same anon who posted a couple months back? I remember you posted the same anime chick.
It's probably me then.
>Hope life's going all right for you
It's pretty so-so.
>I'm going through rough times myself (depression, worsening anxiety, people leaving me).
Sorry to hear that anon. I hope you get a break soon.>>743159380
>Both feelings feed off each other, Depressed people also feel empty and people who feel empty also feel depressed.
Yes, they do play a part in eachother.
>>743152155
Would you fuck Shinobu if you had the chance?
>>743159496
>Would you fuck Shinobu if you had the chance?
In a heartbeat.
>>743159531
Who shinobu
What are your main ways to pass the time?
What things do you enjoy doing the most?
>>743152155
what if god was one of us
>>743159663
>Who Shinobu
...What?
>>743159681
>What are your main ways to pass the time?
Posting on /b/, playing vidya and watching tv shows/movies
>What things do you enjoy doing the most?
I like to sleep.
>>743159723
>what if god was one of us
He is.
>>743159734
I don't have interwebs I can't look it up
>>743159786
>I don't have interwebs
Then how are you posting here
>I can't look it up
Shinobu is the character I post, from Monogatari.
would you fuck boipussy if you had the chance?
>>743159734
After posting in your thread last night I've been stuck in this fucking thought loop all day. Just literally been trying to convince myself I could be schizophrenic because I really want to be (yeah, i'm that anon if you remember me) and I haven't been able to get that thought out of my head at all. Can we just like, swap? At least then I'd be helping someone else out...
Glad to read someone else thinks traps are gay.
Can't post images help ;(
Browser says I'm banned from 4chan on my ip since 2015 but I got this internet 6 months ago??? Switched back to my app and changed wifi
>>743159889
Damn you got me you're smaht op
>>743159900
>would you fuck boipussy if you had the chance?
Not in a million years.
>>743159909
>Just literally been trying to convince myself I could be schizophrenic because I really want to be
Trust me, you don't want to be.
>Can we just like, swap?
Science does not allow for that.
>At least then I'd be helping someone else out...
I like being me.
>>743159968
>Can't post images help ;(
rip u
>Browser says I'm banned from 4chan on my ip since 2015 but I got this internet 6 months ago???
Defuckingstroyed.
>>743159989
>Damn you got me you're smaht op
The smartest in all lands.
>>743159900
>would you fuck boipussy
>Having sex with a man's flesh wound or asshole
You people are fucked in the head.
>>743159169
>Emptiness is just the lack of any emotion. Not happy, sad, mad, just nothing.
I disagree.
I feel empty despite feeling a lot of stuff. I don't have depression.
>>743160086
Smahtest in all the worlds amirite
>>743160115
>I feel empty despite feeling a lot of stuff. I don't have depression.
Just a difference in definition, it's completely subjective.
>>743160188
>Smahtest in all the worlds amirite
smartest in the central finite curve.
>>743152155
Can you be my friend OP? You seem like a cool guy.
>>743160251
Oh shit dats smaht
What sort of music do you like?
>>743160268
>Can you be my friend OP?
Sure why not?
>>743160317
>Oh shit dats smaht
*nod* *nod*
>>743160390
>What sort of music do you like?
A lot.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5LvhKbsHWU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UzGFEr9oy14
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XpQI0ztOic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDgdoPSkPnM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sSRLHccN7hU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ijd5Lxfa53I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9iY6yPrSzY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5O2JdoFMIwk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlEb3L1PIco
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRD7WylAfkw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-Mm75vKD94
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scmQ6iN8hKM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUaMFwFWAUE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51K4cUTuvc0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPDcwjJ8pLg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfdAGkjHGac
How do you experience it? Or percieve it?
Banned guy back. Figured out I have a dynamic ip and someone got banned previously with this ip for posting cp. you're pretty cool op for doing these threads. Make /b/ a little less gay
>>743160694
>How do you experience it? Or percieve it?
What do you mean?
>>743160820
>Figured out I have a dynamic ip and someone got banned previously with this ip for posting cp
Good that you figured it out.
>you're pretty cool op for doing these threads.
I disagree, but thanks.
>>743159909
>>743160251
Sorry shinobu anon, but I will hijack this post to elaborate my shit, maybe it helps this anon. I have BPD.
>Just literally been trying to convince myself I could be schizophrenic
I hope you don't get offended, but maybe you are just lazy?
It was my case at least, and I made no progress because I took too long to accept it.
To elaborate: I'm a lazy shit who lives a hedonistic, minimal effort life. I do enjoy videogames because I still enjoy challenges, just that I may get frustrated and may want to drop it, but if you get tired of a game you can just drop it and continue later, no obligation required like with a job or school.
I sure enjoy many things in life, I just get tired easily and don't see the point on struggling all the time for just a few minutes of pleasure. I'd have killed myself a long ago but I don't want to make my caretakers suffer, so I just keep playing along trying to stay on college (struggling to not get kicked out for failing too many courses due to laziness/inconsistency with me).
Of course I looked for help but I never made any progress because I never told them my real feelings. They tried to give me some activities and stuff, but I was a bad patient and never got dedicated enough to get through them: a job? fuck no! Two psychologists and about 6 years of fucking nothing, because I took way too long to open myself and tell him that I didn't cared too much about my future.
But of course such a mindset comes with some troubles like videogame/food addiction, being a parasite to my caretakers, etc.
After I told my previous psychologist that I am tired of that shit not working, he sent me with another one, and now I
I am being completely shameless.
tl:dr: I would be happy just living as a dog, and I'd rather die than work, but psychologists can't read your mind. Be completely open to them, and to yourself in order to make progress.
IDK. I'm speaking along the lines of how music affects your mental state, and how much it affects your mood. Like, for example giving you hallucinations or transcendental experiences - do you get anything similar when you listen?
>>743160820
>Make /b/ a little less gay
Now this is something i can get behind
>>743161224
>but maybe you are just lazy?
Laziness goes hand and hand with Schizo. It's hard to do things when you have no desire to do things.
>>743161358
>do you get anything similar when you listen?
Yea, kind of, but I can't explain it.
>>743161224
Thanks for the post anon.
I don't know what it is, I'll have these moments where from a few days up to maybe a week I'll become really focused on something, whether it's a game, a new career path I think I want to pursue in my future etc. I'll be super excited about it and have a huge drive for it but then a few days later and I couldn't give a rats ass.
I'm currently 18 living with my parents and I'm supposed to be going back to HS for my senior year in 2 weeks.
I had cancer when I was 16 and went through 6 months of chemo then became severely depressed and suicidal etc.
Now it's like, I wish I was schizophrenic and mute and I don't wish any of that for attention. I honestly have no idea why I want to be, I just genuinely do.
I have been feeling worse and worse the past couple weeks, I haven't showered in two weeks, I've left my house maybe 2 or 3 times, I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face etc. I just throw on the same shirt, wrap up in my blanket and plop down in my computer chair. I eat maybe once a day, if that. I just, I don't know, I get these little obsessions every once in a while that last such a short while and I have a huge desire to accomplish them but I never do because they fade so quickly and as "gifted" as I've been told I am I've never had anything to show for it after dropping to all C-'s due to my run in with cancer. Maybe I just feel like a failure and wish I had valid excuse for it because all I have to explain it to this day is "i'm lazy".
Sorry for the wall of text and the massive rant. idk, I know you aren't a psychologist so idk why i'm saying all this to ya, guess I'm just trying to figure myself out.
>>743152155
How do I Getz da bitches and does sum cocaine n shit whenz I 2 am a Lil loli?
>>743161816
>How do I Getz da bitches and does sum cocaine n shit whenz I 2 am a Lil loli?
Yes.
>>743161364
/b/ was always gay
>>743161900
I love you Shinobu, let's stick it in.... together!!!
>>743162046
>I love you Shinobu
But you don't even know me
>let's stick it in.... together!!!
wat
how do you know you're not gay?
>>743162216
>how do you know you're not gay?
Because I don't like dicks.
>>743152155
I have constant suspicions about the people around me, I hear voices insulting me and calling my name, I see really scary figures and a lot of the time I feel like I'm not in reality, the world looks and seems like a painting or a video game.
One of my really close friends thinks I have Schizophrenia. Does it sound like I do to you?
>>743161710
I am sorry to hear about your cancer and your current state.
We are all here because of our own will. I replied to you attempting to help you (and of course, to relieve a bit of loneliness for myself and feel slightly useful).
I am 24, but my caretakers push me to not let me completely decay.
Venting online helped me be completely open to my last psychologist (I met her past week, just two sessions so far, but I hope for the best).
Really, get help with a professional and tell them all that you feel.
Yesterday my psychologist explained me that maybe some event made me shut my brain and disconnect some neurons, so she will help me remember and rebuild the connections.
I wish I knew more, but this will take its time.
... as a matter of fact, tonight I failed to my vices again. I honestly don't believe I can stop by myself at this point, after so many years of keeping this vicious cycle and things being "kinda fine" (still on school and basic habits) but getting little by little worse. But ohhh well, I'm sure things will sort out eventually because the people around me will drag me to fix them or something.
do you live alone? in any case, you don't have so many years like this, I'm sure those habits aren't as ingrained on you.
In any case, please look for help. You probably live in the US right? I'm sure you can find online groups that could help near you. (I live in shit third world country, but live with my ever loving caretakers.)
This is gonna be my last post, I need to get some sleep.
>>743162416
>Does it sound like I do to you?
It does kind of. But it could also be a lot of other things.
>>743152155
As a schizo yourself what's your opinion about people who want schizophrenia like >>743159770
>>743162902
Sleep well shinobu anon
>>743162810
Well hey, you did help me feel a little better. Thanks.
I don't live alone, and honestly even if people do tell me I need help I really don't want to go see a psychologist, I don't even want to leave the house to go see my friends. They probably all think I'm pushing them away.
I still refuse to admit there's something wrong with me.
Ironically enough I don't live in the states, I live in Canada.
Seems I keep missing Shinobu.
Hope you're doing well.
-Koi
>>743163424
It's harder to correct your bad habits the longer you tolerate them.
Your brain gets programmed, your neurons make connections as you live, but they also delete them under distress.
You have people that support you right now, but they won't be there forever.
Time never goes back and starting out stuff gets increasingly harder if you never did them at the proper time. I can't do retarded teenager/kid shit without getting bad looks because I'm a full grown man now. You get old for college, you get old for starting works, starting out things gets increasingly harder.
>I still refuse to admit there's something wrong with me.
Why would getting a bit of help ashame you? I think we are all a bit fucked up, and always need a slight bump (or a huge one if you allow yourself to fall into a huge hole).
>>743163913
It's honestly just that I don't really care to get help. Like, I want schizophrenia but still refuse to believe there's something wrong with me, and maybe it's just me fooling myself and making myself think I really believe there's nothing wrong with me but I don't know. My thoughts are confusing and don't make sense right now.
It's not that I would be ashamed to get help, I just don't care enough to.
Is this video totally inaccurate aobut schizophrenia? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nv-XCM8sies&index=8&list=PLFA6CB2264C3F1BED
>>743164708
Fuck wrong video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr8IyNGAqlw
>>743152155
do you like black girls?
>>743164708
>>743164730
He's asleep now. You'll have to catch him when he makes this thread again in a couple days
>>743164787
ok thanks
>>743166666
don't mind me, just using this thread to find this post
is girth more important than length?
>>743166666
trying again
>>743166713
good job anon, you did it
Who diagnosed you with schizophrenia? (Must be a very shitty doctor because this post isn't a thing than a schizophrenics do... you should learn how to lie or Maybe learn the types of behaviors that have schizophrenics, Where socializing and answering questions are not specifically a skill they have ... a psychiatrist tells you so.)
whats the purpose here
someone post some tittays
Are you that datura smoking crazy person from tinychan by chance?
London?
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