ITT: We nerf each others' superpowers >Can use any object

>>743082386
You have no arms.

>>743082386
Only on on a blue moon with a turnip up your ass

>>743082386
But only while a 16 inch vibrating horse dildo is being rammed in your ass.

>>743082473
/thread

>>743082386
Can only grasp fruits all other objects phase through you

The power to create infinite amounts of haggis

>>743082674
-all your haggis materializes from the water in your own body.

>I can heal or curse anyone to any degree by thought

>>743082386
>I have pinpoint deadly accuracy when firing guns from the hip

>>743082386
But only when you have sex with a woodwind plank

>>743082811
You need to wear a combination of clothing to produce different curses

>>743082811
You are equally affected by curses and being healed in a non injured area will lead to explosive cellular regeneration

>>743082821
Any gun you come into contact with breaks and cannot be repaired

>>743082821
Anything over a 22 will shatter your bones when fired

Ability to command anyone to do what I tell them

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All the powers of the monster from "The Thing" and I can speak French

>>743083062
You're a fictional character in a shitty French horror flick that noone knows exists

>>743083045
No one listens to you to hear your commands

>>743083062
But you have autism

I can see and comprehend reality in four dimensions, making me aware of all things from all angles

I can actually kill your mom if you don"t reply this

A shape shifting immortal sorcerer.

>>743083182
Never said they had to

>>743083308
Only works when watching gay pron

>>743083308
But you cant see why kids love cinnamon toast crunch.

>Can control time at will, forward or backwards. Can stop time for short periods of time.

>>743083308
You are blind

>>743083328
But if I reply then your entire family dies

>>743083363
You are forced to shapeshift into the smallest being you can see, and you can only get smaller.

>>743082386
but you can only hit yourself

>>743083410
But only when you're taking a shit.

>>743083410
Time is only stopped for you; everyone else goes normal speed.

>>743082386
Only works on kittens

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>>743083328
Nerf: my moms already dead and I'm having sex with yours
>>743083398
>tfw comprehending gay porn in 4D

>>743083363
who must consume the farts of fat girls to keep from turning to stone

>>743082963
You are literally explosive, anytime you heal you instantly explode again.

I am persuasive enough to convince anyone of anything.

>>743083624
You know nothing but the intricacies of Canadian politics.

>>743083624
But you are mute and cannot speak.

I am able to change genders at will

Ability to teleport to anywhere on the Earth's surface, destination is not random

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I can dance
With no legs or arms

>>743082386
>Your skill is directly inversely proportional to your general intelligence. The harder the weapon is to use the generally dumber you get, holding a meteor hammer would render you entirely retarded.

>>743082821
But you entirely lack the capacity to kill

>>743083045
But for every command you give you are forced by cosmic law to repay them

>>743083761
You can't change back

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>>743083708

>>743083308
You cannot, however, percieve space three dimensionally as we do and are thus entirely unable to relate to the rest of humanity

>>743083045
You are mute

>>743082386
but you have blue fur all over your body

>>743083797
>Your skill is directly inversely proportional to your general intelligence
Damn nice one

>>743083790
But you can't dance well

>>743083761
You can do it only once in a 60 years. I. I can confince any gril to let me fuck her.

>>743083761
But you have to post about it on tumblr every time

>>743083904
Only if she's above the age of 90

>>743083969
Works for me I win

>>743083062
You are not an individual but a collection of autonomous cells which have no desire to exist as a single entity: your free thought is non-existent.

Also you would speak french which is like a nightmare.

>I have the power of ultimate blackmail, the moment I meet a person I instantly know their darkest secret and the method to hold it over them

>>743083624
>I am persuasive enough to convince anyone of anything.

You are a vegetable incapable of expressing yourself or your desires.

>can make your waifu real
you won"t nerf this

>>743084147

>But if you use it your mother will die in her sleep if you don't reply to this post

>>743083904

Your dick dissolves within a single foot radius of any female.

>>743083761
But every time you change you get a deadly disease

>>743084147
Noone will believe a word you say

>>743083904
Only woks on girls with poor personal hygiene.

>>743084182
I don't need to, your waifu's already shit

>>743084206
You are forever lonely and desperately try to get attention on Mongolian fan art forums.

I have shitting dick nipples.

I can remotely cause explosions to occur up to 10km away

>>743082386
>can camoflauge my fascism by calling my after school club antifa.

>>743084289
I didn't say who is my waifu lol
Also can make everybody waifu real not only my

>>743084352
See
>>743084303

>>743084245
That's less of a nerf and more of a total negation though.

I personally thought: >But everyone knows about that power

>>743084363
With a yield limit of about a handful of popper fireworks

>>743084363
Explosions consist entirely of semen

>>743084402
But since all waifus are shit by default, your waifu must therefore also be shit.

>>743084352
But milk comes out your ass

>>743082821

Your last word gets nerfed into the ground bc bungie is a activision slave and don't know how to develop a good game anymore.

>>743082674
>The power to create infinite amounts of haggis
You're Muslim

>>743084405
Not a nerf if it's already canon.

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Density control. I can control the "togetherness" of my molecules. I could punch and my fistgoes flying and hits an enemy's face but then my fist becomes like air and goes into their lungs, and from there I make my fist together again to strangle them from the inside. Or someone stabs me but I loosen that spot so the blade goes right through.

>>743083787
But you prolapse your colon every time you warp.
I cant die or get diseases do to instant healing and regeneration of body parts

>>743084430
I'm cool with this. I can still make anyone shit themselves from a mile away

>People become my slaves, and do my every bidding within when 30 feet radius around me

>>743084532
Now that's using your powers correctly. Godspeed anon.

>>743084388
But anon, your after school club IS antifa

>>743084464
ok but who is your waifu

>>743084550
Only if they have Downs

>>743084303

Only people with the power need to reply, and only if they use it. Calm yourself.

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>>743084550
You can't command them to have sex or do sexual things

>>743084516
These moves deeply slice the area your using. You punch someone eight feet away, you get a deep ass lasceration in your knuckles, but your targets dead

>>743084415
So did I, but then it only gives anon a reputation of being someone you don't fuck with if you don't want your secrets leaked. There are still some advantages to having everyone automatically assume you're lying though

>>743084363
Has to be a nuclear explosion that destroys everything in a 10 km radius.

>>743084516
However, every time you harden up you irreversibly and disproportionally erode the weak force holding everything together, eventually atoms are less and less capable of sustaining themselves. All your actions directly contribute to the total obliteration of the universe.

>>743084677
I can work with this

>>743084609
I have a gf

>>743084182
But she fucks and sucks everyone but you

I can shapeshift into any creature with a "realistic form" so shit like dragons isnt out of the picture

>>743084550
All energy they expend during this time comes from your own body.

>I can jump into any television show thats on

>>743084732
Hm, good point. I figured it' mostly just make everyone ostracize and avoid you. Even people wanting to use you would know you can destroy them.

Your original proposition is actually not that bad in hindsight; I could still use my power if I could use my smarts to manipulate people covertly into drawing the right conclusions themselves.

>>743084820

You have a 1/2 chance of randomly turning into an ant.

I... can rape kids legally?

>>743084859
That show immediately gets massive attention leading to it warping into a sjw-pleasing general-audience-fest

>>743084820
Your shapeshift forms look really lame. Like a pink dragon with tiny wings (they still work).

>>743084924
Children have sharp bladed assholes until age 18

>>743084740
Cool, I'll go to India then nuke myself

>>743084924
But only ugly kids

>>743084859
but you stay there until you die

I can shit gold without damaging my ass

I have a transformation that gives me super speed, super strength and skyhigh anime hair.

>>743085031
Damn, I honestly dont know which show I'd choose

I am immune to fall damage

>>743085103
The world market is aware of this and gold's value plummets whenever you do it

>>743085119
You are bald and have only 1 leg.

>>743085103
It's still very painful and only a small amount of gold

>>743085119
You die virgin
You are ugly
Nobody will ever love you

>>743085198
Not falling burns you're skin, so you're always flailing and running to the next cliff screaming like a freak

>>743082386
But only while being fucked up the ass by a nigger.

>>743085198
Because you no longer interact witht matter once your trajectory goes around 90° in relation to the horizon

>>743085198
You have a fear of heights and are prone to heart attacks while falling

>>743085103
But doing so causes a heart attack.

>>743083697
Good thing I'm a filthy fucking Leaf then.

People see and hear me as the ultimate stand up guy. A white guy sees me as a respectable buisness corperate, niggers see me and hear me as the OG on set. NKoreans think I am their supreme leader. A common brit thinks Im royalty. Nerf this

>>743085103
But you are a prisoner chained up getting milked for gold till the day you die

>>743084147
But you have Prosopagnosia

>>743085497
But because you're the best person ever to everyone, the entire world is constantly on your ass all the time.

>>743083062
You can only speak French and you can't leave Cuba

>>743085538
Good one but I'd learn to recognize voices very well

>>743085497
But you become a nigger

>>743085103

But you never do.

>Can fly
>Can't die
>The most handsome men in the world
>Very Smart

>>743085103
You have to eat shit to shit gold

>>743085750

>But only in your obituary

>>743085750
But you are a nigger without a dick

>>743085750
You're a marine, and your ship collides with a merchant vessel on your first mission and you die immediately.

>>743085750
>centimeter peter
>Sounds like spongebob
>Everyone thinks you're fucking annoying
>Dresses in drag
>People litterally huck rocks at you

>>743085119
Dont reproduce.

>>743085750
>Whatever propels your flight smells like actual shit
>Not being able to die is it's own nerf after the heat death of the universe
>You're so handsome everyone is violently trying to suck your dick ... everyone
>You also become autistic

>Dark Phoenix level telepathy without the insanity caused by Professor X's God complex.

I become Donald Trump

I can time travel, and the travel is only a simulation where if I die I wake back up in the real world, and nothing changes.

>>743086012
>Even casually thinking of someone overloads their brain to the point of death unless it is a cosmic being, they become immediately aware of you

>>743086081
You get Alzheimer

>>743086081
You will never truly know if your travels are real, or just a dream of your own creation

>>743083410
I keked till I rekt

>>743084820
But you cannot rewire your nervous system, and as such, will experience a universal, excruciatingly profound pain while simultaneously losing any control over your body's musculature. Long story short, Puff the spastic dragon howling in agony as his siezures send him flailing all over the ground.

>Have all the powers of neo from matrix

>>743086193
I could 120% live with that.
>>743086168
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

>>743086238
You take the blue pill

>>743086238
>And all the emotional depth

>>743084859
As long as it's an infomercial.

>>743086238
But only in the matrix
>kek

>>743086247
If you can live with that I can recommend DMT and a strong regimen into lucid dreaming/tripping to you, that's basically that power if you don't care to know if it was really real.

>>743086238
Your connection with the matrix has huge lag

I read this in a book once so I'll mix it up a tad
>Everything I touch turns to chocolate, but only with my left hand and when Im thinking about it, so its relatively controlled

>>743086261
>>743086268
rekt.

I get to live the life of the main character of Persona 4

>>743086392
You think about chocolate and jerking off all the time. You are a leftie

>>743086392
>You have to eat whatever you transform

>>743086392
You have psychotic episodes where you turn random stuff

>>743086012
But you have full-fledged aspergers. Like, The Curious Incident of The Dog in The Night-Time level aspergers.

>>743086441
You can only have homosexual romances

>>743086392
86% cacao chocolate.

>>743086441
But you're played by a six year old

I have midas touch

>>743086052
... I could say you're retarded, but we all know that already.

>>743086524
It works only on big black cocks

>>743086392
You have a personality disorder where you turn to a hotheaded 6 year old obsessed with chocolate

>>743086441
But an autistic 10 year old is the one controlling you in game

>>743086524
The moment any limb touches any part of your body you're fucked, you're walking starfish for the rest of your life.

>>743086392
But it's sugarless chocolate

>>743086524
You masturbate

>>743086524
Your dick gets turned into gold and renders you asexual for the rest of your life.

I can warp reality

>>743086500
:(

>>743086392
You are allergic to choclate

>>743084531
Your body consumes itself each time you regenerate, causing you to become an inch smaller every time you regenerate....I hope you're not already a manlet

>>743086613
But you live in the matrix

>>743086524
Is exactly the same as the midas mith so you cant eat and drink

>>743086081
During these simulations, your body lies dormant in real-life, and the simulation moves in real-time, so the longer you spend "time travelling," the older you get when you come out of it. Additionally, your body is completely vulnerable during these episodes, so anybody strolling by could skullfuck you if they so choose.

>>743082386
You cant uss the power for your own gain

>>743086645
You asshole

My only ability is to nerf people and their superpowers. I just gave superman 6 inch arms.

>>743086720
>was hoping for some kind of rape
>not disappointed

>>743086052
According to Libtards' description

>I can turn into any fictional character ever.

>>743085279
Can I wield his big black cock?

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>>743084531

>>743086781
You also get these debilitations

>>743086613
>SCP foundation knows it

>>743084924
So you're a catholic priest...now what superpower were you thinking of?

I turn into some kind of 4chan super mod, having full power over every board

>>743082386
Can make women orgasm simply by looking at them

>>743086812
Without their clothing on. You then get arrested for indecent exposure repeatedly, and registered as a sex offender.

>>743087013
You do it for free

>>743087013
All women vomit when they see you

>>743087022
That includes traps with dicks, and grannies

>>743087013
but nobody gives a shit

>>743087022
This ability works only if this woman is 7 inches away

>> is a normal person with no superpowers and high anxiety

>>743087022
Because of this, women are always satisfied and will never actually want to fuck you

>>743087127
(((User would have been banned for this post)))

>>743082386
Shit taste in anime senpai

>>743086820
Is not weapon. Is only negro winkie. >>743086812

>>743087022
but when you see men, they will insta-rape you

>>743087097
>Can make women orgasm
>traps with dicks
oh anon............
>and grannies
you say like thats a bad thing war child

>>743087178
White straight male living in year 2017

>>743087178
Will also never get dubs

>>743087230
>>743087183
brutal.jpg

>>743087022
But it's involuntary and the women become instantly enamoured by you. Have fun glancing past gran.

>>743087259
never have never will

>>743087183
>>743087293
I like how these completely opposite nerfs are equally crippling

>>743087178
>You realize strongly that every woman attracted to you sees you as her absolute last option, you will thus never know what it's like for someone to truly love you

>>743087365
accurate

>>743087022
But its one of those incredibly unsatisfying orgasms that goes unregistered so all women are constantly creeped out by you, but they don't know WHY. You just "make them feel weird".

>>743087178
But only in your dreams. In the waking world, you're a paraplegic of average mental acuity, but without the means to verbally communicate, and without access to a Steven Hawkins twitch-to-speech device.

Ability to gain insight into someone's biggest fears and make them appear/occur

>>743087515
You immediately share those fears

>>743087488
i fucking love you for this

>>743087515
But it's involuntary, and only happens to the people you care about the most.

Every living organism in the universe down to the microscopic level will seek me out and try and rape me.

I can shape forms

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>>743087601
D'aaaw... Thanks /b/uddy.

>>743087567
/nerfed.

>>743087656
But it's rape by tumblr rules so they all just casually look at you once

>>743087656
You have no nerve endings.

>>743087720
At least we'd know if there is aliens cause they'd stare rape me

i can fly

>>743087802
but youre a dead nigger you fucking nigger FUCK you nigger. you die

>>743082386
Anime hulk Hogan ass

>>743087683
But only if they resemble a penis.

>>743087802
But only into a wood chipper, and only once.

>>743087802
>>743087822
Samefag less and get more creative. Have fun turning 15 in three years.

>>743087515
If your victim survives, he gain this ability too.

>I can fulfil other peoples' wishes in exchange for their souls.

>>743087802
But cannot get approved for airspace because you have no aircraft. It is illegal.

>>743087915
Their souls make you experience their entire lives in seconds, terrible traumas included

>>743087911
no your a nigger nigger. nigger NIGGER >>743082386
<newfag
<is a nigger
<nigger nigger

>>743085497
But you are unable to leave the house

>>743087915
The Devil sees you as competition and has you assassinated.

I am comfy and happy no matter what.

I am walking replicator technology

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>>743088316
In an insane asylum that still practices lobotomies.

>>743088362
no

>>743087915
Souls physically manifest as burning orbs that increase in size and weight with the age of the person, and cannot be discarded. Each soul collected weighs you down.

>>743085630
I was going to throw in deaf, but it seemed like a little too much

I can teleport behind people.

>>743088362
Can only replicate worthless garbage.

>>743088766
But doing so causes them to fart violently, sometimes sharting depending on the contents of their bowels.

Every thread that I visit; OP becomes a faggot

>>743088755
In that case I'd interact with people online only, not too much of a departure of real life anyway.

>>743088951
You spend your time on 4chan

>>743088766
but the phrase "nothin personnel kid" must be spoken immediately after or else you die of a heart attack

>>743089013
Aw shit. Not even worth.

I can be invisible at will

>>743089189
But light passes through your retinas rendering you blind

>>743089189
your nigger hole prolapses so hard it slams into the floor and catapults you 50 feet in the air every time you blink while invisible

>>743089189
It only works when you're naked and you don't control when it wears off.

I am invonrable to then negative effects of nerfs and gain any cool powers I read

>>743083624
Your parents still think you're gay.

>>743089580
...until this thread 404s, anyway.

>>743089656
Only 6 more

>>743082386
I can see through any substance.

>>743084924
But the fbi are in this thread

>>743089951
you see through literally everything so every corner of your vision is just the black vacuum of space, youre basically blind

>>743082386
No arms, fight with your teeth/ feet

>>743089951
This doesn't need nerfing
You can never turn your power off. You can see through everything so your vision is fucked

I can sense 1/2/5 cent coins in a 100 meter radius

hf nerfing that

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I have the power to convert any spare fat on my body or food in my stomach into projectile plasma shots, rays and bombs.

Good thread lads, thanks.

>>743090162
as a newly minted jew your nose elongates and your lust for shekels eventually destroys you

>>743090162
They get impossibly hot then closer you get to them.

>>743090214
You dont control how much of your fat or food tou convert

>>743087365
This hits me in the feels...it's been going through my mind for the past 6 months with my gf

>>743090480
Step 1: get a side kick
Step 2: arm him with 1/2/5 coins and tell him to give them to the people i hate while im sitting 200 meters away
step 3: run into said enemy

you made my power a lot better
thanks fellow robot

>>743086392
But you have diabetes

>>743090579
It's the common truth for all of us here. My ex left me for a man who is actually worth loving. I realize that I cannot amount to the same heights as men who deserve life, love lasts as long as it takes for a real person to come along.

I can summon a cold cheeseburger once in a lifetime.

>>743091102
You are, however, vegan

>>743090765
Lmao at first i thought you will tell side kick to collect coins

>>743091102
you cannot control where you will summon it

>inb4 cold cheeseburger found in Uranus

>>743091282
it's not like i will make a fortune out of them even if he collects all the lost coins in my city
might as well use them to burn heathens

>>743091054
That's a pretty brutal way of putting it. I don't even have anything hopeful or happy to respond with

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I have the knowledge to everything, i could theoretically figure out how to fix broken bones, get to mars, cure cancer, and anything impossible with virtually anything, i have a fit normal body with 5 fingers in both pair of limbs, my hair is normal, my health is above average and im expected to die in another 60 years, i am a normal human.
My above average beauty legal-aged below 30 years wife is happily married with me, my dick is an above average length and can still feel normally like it should, my wife also has an increased sexual pleasure when doing it with me compared to every other male.
I can see normally with a 20/20 vision, i dont have any weight problems in my common diet, i can hear normally and i can feel normally, i dont have any physical problems.
The only mental problem i have is ocd.
I have the average 23 pairs of chromosomes.
I am able to eat and drink what i want and it would taste like anybody else would taste it.
I am also white or at least as white as i currently am.
My intelligence is above the male caucasian average.

>>743091733
>peanuts now slightly taste more like walnuts

>>743091733
you are literally the perfect human living in the perfect world fitting for you.
after 1-2 years of basically living in a dream you start thinking that you may be dreaming/in a coma because everything is just too perfect and you have no problems with your life.You end up suiciding.

>>743082496
He said nerf it, not make it better.

>>743091733
But you forever expect you could do better if you had just applied yourself a little more

>>743084147
You're Clive Wearing

>>743092205
Memento style tattoos it is then, I'd have to do my work in an unbroken line of actions as to not utilize memory to any extent. Hopefully I'd have an assistant, preferably an attractive person so I'd trust them, to guide me through ruining leaders' lives.

>>743091733
>Nice digits

You have an inferiority complex because your younger sibling does everything first and better

>>743092439
You follow your assistant blindly, blackmailing whoever he/she says. You can easily blackmail them whenever you choose because of your ability, so you trust them to not screw you over. You follow along as they slowly make you do more and more to get you into a high position....you're the puppet and your 'assistant' is pulling the strings

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The ability to become a cute anime girl!

>>743093231
Very likely but fuck, if it gets my dick sucked I'm game.

>>743094175
>secondary character

>>743082386
But you are incapable of killing anyone, and get ptsd in fights

>>743082386
OP is an edgy kid, tries to use his retarded "power" at school

media circus ensues followed by jail

>>743084924
but only if they have downsyndrome

>>743094580
Ouch

I can manipulate the very fabric of space and time to my will.

>>743094934
>can manipulate the very fabric of space and time to my will.

You can bend it to your will, but never at your will....it only happens while you sleep, but everything goes back to normal when you wake up. Nobody notices any difference

Let's see if I can compete

Strength of the hulk
Intelligence of Stark
Agility of Spider-Man
Regeneration of Deadpool
All with the body of Captain America

>>743088766
but you involuntarily say omaiwamu shinderu before they explode killing everyone you try this on

>>743089580
but your gay and have been way before getting this power

>>743095981
But your paralyzed and cannot move any thing below the chin.

>>743083045
You're really shy and unassertive

>>743096525
That's a drawback until the iron man suit is added on, but it probably negates hulk and Spider-Man with the bulk of it

>>743096780
Very true