So, my cunt of a colleague needed a car to get his daughter from

>>741194540
Fuck his daughter.

put something in the exhaust pipe

>>741194540
murder him then wear his skin like a fine suit

>>741194540
Bleach. Run

>>741194540

Put bologne on his car in the hot summer sun

it fucks up the paint and is hilarious

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>>741194540
Put your shit under the door handles

>>741195047
Why sugar? Just use water dip shit. Don't you know anything about gasoline combustion engines? If you're too dumb and have to ask then you should be bothering to do it

>>741194866
Dubs of truth

Also you could try and get the spark out
Shouldn't be that hard if you have access to his keys

>>741195053
Ummm. Power steering fluid will do way more damage and not be seen. Waste of deli meat. Kys

pour water or diesel in his tank,use a screwdriver if you cant open the cap from the outside

>zip tie a harmonica near the radiator
>only makes noise when car is in motion
>can easily be hidden
>average mechanics won't be able to isolate the noise or determine wtf it even is

/o/ has its moments

>>741194540

If you can get under the hood, remove all the spark plug wires. It's easy to do and will render the car a 2500 pound boulder.

>>741194540

>sugar in gas tank is just a myth

youre a fucking idiot twice overe. pls stick to your neon light street racing 16 second monsters.

>>741195338
hilarious

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>>741195338
That is fucking brilliant

>>741195287
This or just straight dirt. Get a plastic bottle fills with dirt or dry soil and put it in the tank. Might take 3-5 days for the fuel filter to get fucked up, but its very effective.

if you can get inside take of the dashboard plastic cover and cut all the wires you see

>>741194540
do you want to actually ruin his car? just pour water in the gas tank. its virtually free, won't break down right away, and be extremely expensive to repair. If youre just looking to scare him without causing serious damage, idk.. without having access to under the hood, and assuming its not a truck so you can't crawl underneath it.. not a whole lot you can do man

>>741195338
youre assuming he can get under the hood

>>741195604
Unless he's a fatass, you can get on the ground and install this in minutes tops under the front bumper

>>741195488

You mean if you boil water and add sugar to this until max suspension, then pour that mixture into the gas yes?

Depending on the car if they're one the bottom remove his o2 sensors won't severely fuck it up but very noticeable

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>>741195555
Checked.

>>741194540
Banana in tailpipe

He got a paint job.

Your car was scratched twice.

Scratch his new paint job 3 times.

Eye for an eye plus one.

>>741196268
>plus one
make it two anon, for good measure

>>741194540
>>741194540
Sanding grease or Permatex 80037 Valve Grinding Compound straight into the oil intake

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Wait for him near his car then prank him to death with a tire iron.

>>741194540
Open the valve on the bottom of his radiator and drain all the coolant. It'll fuck up his engine beyond repair.

>>741194540
Remember to wair gloves
>Obtain access to the car some how
>leave it with the windows open in a black getto
>???
>profit

>>741195338
GENIUS

>>741194866
dubs of truth, do it OP

Here's a simple and harmless prank, but also extremely annoying.

Buy a valve core remover on Amazon, should only cost like five bucks. At night, pull out the valve core in his tire and watch as all the air deflates in less than 30 seconds. Repeat until they get so frustrated they buy a new tire, then start doing it to a different tire

>>741196869
Why leave the windows open?

>>741194540
Get a can or 2 of butane
Spray them in the gas tank
Throw a lit match in the tank

>>741197161
Cause niggers will steal it

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>>741195555
checkaroonied

cut the brake lines

>>741197260
But that has nothing to do with the windows

>>741194540
Steal his car
Crash it into his house

>>741197495
The windows are open so bums can have sex in the car then shit in it.

>>741194540

Drain the engine oil, drain coolant, put metal shavings into the engine oil, throw some brake fluid / power steering fluid (DOT4) onto the paint, grease the brake discs... The possibilities are endless.

>>741197495
It makes it easier for them to do it

>>741197475
Hur dur. You literally never done anything to a car. He wants revenge, not murder someone. Are you 12? You think brake lines are rubber everywhere? Wouldn't see the amount of massive fluid under the car? Not feel that moment when he has to step on the brake to turn the key to start the car and the pedal goes to the floor?

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>>741195338
you seriously can't gauge ow much i'm fucking laughing at that idea
fuckin brilliant

1000000 internets to you sir

>>741197169
Yea that's dumb. Go try it yourself first before advising it retard

potato in the tailpipe. use a broom handle to shove it way the fuck up there.

shrimp and raw chicken in a glass jar under the seat. once it rots enough it will explode.

>>741196553
Beyond repair? So replacing the head(s) is beyond repair? Cars that over heat go straight to the junk yard right?

switch around the spark plug wires so it fires out of sequence.

Pop under his hood and fuck up his distributor cap, slice the serpentine belt, and piss in the windshield wiper fluid reservoir

>>741194540

Walk away. Chalk it up as a learning experience. Do not lend tools. Do not lend vehicles. Do not lend money.

>>741198039
What if distributerless ignition. Why are all theses shit suggestions involve opening the hood?

>>741194540
Sugar in the gas tank isn't a myth.

It just doesn't work on most newer cars. My dad had an old Buick that got fucked because some mex put sugar in his gas tank.

>>741198121
Just fucking go under the front bumper and do the harmonica thing, cunt.
Sage

>>741194540
Pop his hood and drain then piss in his coolent,windows spray,oil and basically any thing you can
The beauty of this is that he will have to pay special cleaners to clean up because no mechanic will clean piss up

>>741194540
Suck it up and get over it. He did you a favor by outing himself as a cunt. Be the bigger man.

>>741195268
I enjoy bologna myself, but it's cheap prison food.
Also, it's funnier to see a car spotted with bologna.

>>741198212
Nigga plz

>>741194540
Go to the nearest garage, ask the guys in there for a reacharound. Then put that in his exhaust

>>741194540
Take a hammer or 2 and a friend
Cut the car alarm
Smash the fuck out of his car

>>741194893
Expanding urethane foam.

>>741198153
What are fuel filters and why wouldn't anybody just add water? It's so much easier then trying to get a fucking sugar packet sprinkled down the fucking flap. Everyone who suggests this doesn't know anything about cars.

>>741198212
Yes sir!

>>741194540
Take a paint scraper and scrape all of the pain of his car

>>741198624
>implying that you know how to make the car go zoom zoom

>>741198564
Put that in his gas tank

>>741198212
No OP. Responding to retards who know nothing of auto mechanics. If it's such a burden to you to see this thread, turn off your computer faggot or go to that trap thread you like so much.

>>741194540
You are going to need:
>a box of matches that don't have white tips
>a razor knife
>a small amount of thin solid wire (#18 or so)
>2 ounces of petroleum jelly
>18 ounces of potassium chlorate
>an 8 inch piece of 1 1/2" steel pipe, threaded at both ends
>two screw-on end caps for 1 1/2" steel pipe
>a power drill
>wax paper
>a rolling pin
>an m-80 (the firework)
>two 8" zip-ties
>two orange or tan wire nuts
Start by taking the razor knife and carefully scraping the red compound off of the matches, don't go too fast, you want it to be a powder. 20 matches worth of this should do the trick. Once you have your powder, add a few drops of water to it to make a thick paste. cut two pieces of wire about six inches long, skin about 1/8 of an inch off the insulation on each one. Hold them side by side so there's only a millimeter or two between them (use a dime as a spacer if you need to) and wad the damp red powder up around the skinned ends. This will need several hours to dry. Next, spread your 2 ounces of petroleum jelly out on the wax paper, add two ounces at a time of your potassium chlorate and work it into the petroleum jelly with the rolling pin. it will gradually thicken to the consistency of play-doh. Pack it into one end of the pipe and put on your screw-on end. Pull the fuse out of the m-80 and stick it in the other end of the pipe with the (formerly) fused end sticking out. Drill a 1/8 inch hole in the end of your other screw-on cap. Once your igniter (the match paste) is dry, stick it into the hole you pulled the m-80 fuse out of and put the other screw-on cap onto the pipe so the wires are sticking out through the 1/8" hole you drilled. Lay down under the front bumper of his car and look for the cooling fan on the radiator. There will be a small plug with two wires (often blue and white) that power the fan. Cut these two wires, wire-nut them to your igniter wires, and zip-tie the pipe to the radiator.
Go home and watch the news.

>>741195369
dumb, that's easy to fix and let's him know it was tampered with

>>741198721
Well I do actually.

>>741198768
Fuck off we are having fun

>>741198768
>getting triggered this easy
This isn't tumblr, kid
And OP is still an overweight faggot til he has timestamped proof he's not

>>741194540
>fill condom with chlorine
>drop in gas tank recepticle
>???
>profit!

>>741198961
I wasn't the one saging the thread faggot.
>not knowing the difference between triggered and trolling

>>741198768
sage advice, only smart comment here in a thread full of fucksticks

>>741194540
>not picking up his daughter and taking her home yourself

>>741198978
How does it get past the flap?

>>741194540
Put an oxidiser in the gas tank
You will be able to hear the explosion from your house

>>741198919
>>741198961
>this is butthurt
>responding twice

>>741194540
Cut his brake lines.

>>741198961
Wtf is a tumbler? And why do you know what it is?
>self project much

>>741199138
A crow bar I assume

>>741199294
This

>>741198845
i dont think op wants to kill him with a pipe bomb anon

>>741197691
But that's not how it works in the movies....

>>741197691
If you're going to fuck with the breaks, locate the master cylinder and invert it. Air *eventually* gets in the lines. Happened one time I took a car in for repair, they apparently detached it for access and forgot to put the bolts back. Flipped under it's own weight. Not fun.

>>741199222
Wow!!!! So original!!!!! Holy shit anon!!!! Good thing you read the entire thread to make sure that wasn't suggested!!! So tell me, have you ever cut a brake line? You speaking from experience or your literal autism and lack of auto mechanic knowledge? What results are you expecting by this?

>>741199345
Or it could be one of those flap things that opens when you push it my car dose that

shit thread is shit
too bad mods don't ban shit like this thread

>>741199294
Oh so you don't know? Never done it before so suggest it anyways?

if you don't want to go for sugar, just fucking fill his gas tank with polystyrene I guess, like lots of it, napalm style, that or mix some thermite and set it on the hood. If you really wanted to fuck it up you could just mix pool chlorine and brake fluid in a soda bottle and shove it up the tailpipe with a broomstick. Hydrocarbons will disassociate and combust under their own heat. or just simply fill a cardboard box with newspaper, soak it in petrol, light it and kick it under the chassis. good luck, post what you end up doing.

>>741194540
Put a mix of potassium nitrate and sugar under the hood it will smoke lihe a mother fucker

>>741199595
Oh yea? Ban the thread that didn't violate any rules? If the thread is shit, what u doing in it? Maybe you're the problem? You should be banned for a shit post if that was the case

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>>741195338

Put metal shavings into some really dark dirty oil....add the oil to his engine. When the shop looks at it after the engine pops it will appear to be neglect and lack of oil changes

>>741199694
No I wasn't the person who the post was referring to

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>>741195338
I have been chuckling continuously at this every couple seconds for a while now.

>>741194540
Nut in his gas tank

>>741194540
pour lacquer thinner on his car, it wont show immediately but within a few months all of the top coat will be stripped off and the paint will follow. that or just paint thinner. you can put oil in his exhaust, cigg butts or sand in the tank

>>741199284
you created tumblr kid, dont pretend you dont know what it is lol

Karyo Surup, A couple gallons right into gas tank.

>>741194540
Super glue a small disc of something in the tube of his gas tank to block it

>>741194540
>putting sugar in his gas tank; it will not work. Tried it. Also searched up on it, and is just a common myth.
the instakill part of sugar in the gas tank is a myth
but over time, and especially with repeated application, sugar will fuck up an engine enough that it will at a minimum need torn apart and cleaned out
if you absolutely have to fuck it up now punch a hole in the oil pan, ideally right before someone not mechanically minded takes it on a long drive

>>741200184
inb4 Cars 4

>>741200541
Wot so the car gets pregnant and gives birth to lighting MCquine

>>741194540
If you ever able to open the inside of his door just break the window latch on all the doors

>>741194540
Pour cooking oil in his gas tank

>>741194540
if you wanna make him pay an exorbitant amount on unnecessary repair fees, put some metal zipties on his drive shaft

>>741194540
Get in his car and take of all of the handles and window openers

>>741200984
You mean hose clamps

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>>741194540

>>741194540
Solder or weld the door handles shut

>>741194540
I had good reason to send a message to a smart arse leb I ran into a few weeks back. We had an incident on the road where w exchange some pleasantrys and continued on our way, or so he thought. I made a mental image of his car and rego plate and decided to circle around and return to the scene and sure enough the dope had parked his car and wanderd off somewhere. i parked nearby and removed a flat blade screwdriver from my toolbox. I casually gouged the driver's side from boot to bonnet before returning to my vehicle with a sense of satisfaction and victory that I still enjoy on a daily basis. Feels good mane

Brake fluid on every body panel, use a water pistol.take a diamond ring or cutting tool and scratch X's on all glass . Whole thing can be done in under a minute. Paint is ruined, even after respray. Same for glass. Its a write off.

>>741194540
Jack up his car and angle grind his drive shaft it will vibrate like fuck

>>741194540
Smear cat shit in the air filter

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>>741196214
>Is this the man...

>>741201689
Thats a bad reaction photo

punch a hole in his gas tank
set the fuel on fire

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If you can squeeze underneath the car, unscrew the oil drain plug, just enough so you can get a nice slow drip from the oil pan. He'll get a few miles down the road before he burns up his engine and hopefully be stranded.

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>>741201771
Good thing I only post it because of the name.

>>741194540
Just fuck his daughter.

Lazy revenge.
>Put a potato in his tailpipe

>wait until he and his entire family go to sleep
>toss fire bombs into every window in his house/apartment and at the door
>then a couple more on the roof just to be safe

>>741195338
Kek. I'm gonna do this to my brothers car. Where do I put the harmonica?>>741195338

Bomb under car

>>741202981
*where is the radiator?