Hey /b/, this is the time I accidentally got involved in organized

bumperino

>>741174786
Cont?

>My cousin that I knew says "I'm Henry's, he's Dickie's"
>one of the other kids in the group says "I'm fucking dying over here V. Can you hurry this up? I wanna talk to your dad and get the fuck out of here"
>V suddenly drops his nice guy, charismatic demeanor and says to him "Show some fucking respect, A, this is your family we're talking to."
>they have a short argument with more cursing than I'd ever heard in a single exchange, and I cursed like a sailor when I was in HS because I was edgy
>Eventually V turns back to us and says "Hey guys, if you want to we were all gonna walk down to the mall if you want. We just gotta tell my dad first"
>Suddenly a light bulb appears above my head and I say "Walk? Fuck that I have my car. I'll drive us all down there"
>With that, I join the group of guys, while my other cousin holds back.
>We chat and they all tell themselves about me
>apparently they all hang out with eachother all the time, since their parents are always together anyway.
>Ages range from A, who spoke earlier, who is 16 like me, to V who is 19
>They all sound like they jumped straight of the opening wall street scene in Wolf of Wall-street, cursing every other ten seconds
>It was a rush. They all acted like nothing could brink them down
>It was clear though that V somehow had authority over the rest, but I just chalked that up to his age
More coming, I just type slow. Also in hindsight this all seems really obvious how crazy this side of the family was, but I didn't know until way later.

Hurry up faggot

>we finally weave our way through the massive gathering of people (straight up at least 50) and reach a middle aged looking bald guy
>He's obviously the host of the reunion, as he's asking people if the foods okay, if they like the house, etc
>V walks up to him and gives him a huge hug, and all the other teens do the same to him
>this confused me, but I think to myself "Hey this is a family reunion, and all these people seem really close"
>V walks up to his dad after the parade of hugs and says "Dad, we're going down to the shops, and Anon is driving."
>his dad looks concerned at first and says "Anon?"
>I step forward and extend my hand, saying "Hey Mr.Spaghetti, I'm Anon Smith. Dickie Smith's son"
>V's dad eyes light up in recognition and says "ANON! There you are! I heard you were coming! I'm glad you could make it"
>he then proceeds to hug me tightly
>He then gives each of us a crisp 20 dollar bill from a wallet clip he has in his jacket pocket and tells us as we walk away "You stay out of trouble now" with a smirk
>they all laugh, but I'm the only one who says the obligatory "We willlll"
>as we head to my car in the driveway V walks up and says quietly "Hey man...you uhhh...fumo?"
>I have no clue what the fuck he just said so I say "I don't really know man haha. I don't know what a Fumo is."
>He and all his friends laugh at me and say "nah you silly fuck, Fumo means smoke. I'm asking if you smoke weed.'
>Excitement hits me in the nuts and I say "Hell yeah I fumo"
>He then reveals a huge bag of fucking weed that he had in his inside pocket,
more coming, you impatient fuck stains

>>741176834


>>741176834
Bump

>V opens the bag and wafts the air towards his nose, then does the same to me
>It smells better than the best weed I had ever smoked, and that's surprising since at the time Medical weed was already a year employed into our state
>I get hyped and he takes a handful out of this completely full to the brim bag and hands it to me and says "here, keep this."
>We get all pile into my car and V immediately starts rolling a joint
>I always got sketched when smoking on the road, since if you got pulled over and you're car smelt like weed, you're fucked
>I express this concern and they all once again laugh at me. One of the older kids says "Stop worrying man. V's got friends"
>I don't know what this means but I just go with it to seem cool
>in minutes we are all blitzed as fuck driving down the road
>V directs me to the mall, which is a pretty standard mall, and we finish the joint and head inside.
>The rest of the day is pretty anticlimatic, with just us fucking around
>the only odd thing is V and the couple others who were 18 or 19 all had extraordinary amounts of cash.
>get back to the house where the reunion was after a couple more j's and head home, telling my dad about how cool my cousins were the whole time
more coming, as always

post more OP

another lurker

Boom0

>A couple days later I get an IM (ahhh remember the days) from V, who had given me his AIM at the reunion, asking if I'd like to hang out.
>I tell him yeah, but I can't afford the gas to drive an hour away to his city with my gas guzzling car
>he tells me not to worry about it and that he'll come get me
>I tell my dad I'm going out and wait for V outside on my driveway
>he pulls up in a spanking new Lincoln
>I get in and he hands me a fat ass blunt, then pulls another from his breast pocket for himself
>I light mine up and immediately love the taste of the wrap he used
>Harshish, but mellow and tobacco-sweet if you know what I mean, unlike the shitty 78 cent fruity flavored wraps I was used to
>ask him what flavor it is, and he laughs and says "Flavor? Nah man this is a repurposed Bolivar"
>I'm an uncultured cis male so I ask what a Bolivar is, and he says "A cubano man. I really nice fuckin cigar. My dad gave me a box last week, apparently they were really cheap through a friend or somethin'"
>get blazed as he takes me to his city, and we go to his house
>His parent's aren't home, but he says they won't care since he's an adult and they trust him
>we swim in the pool in his yard, play vidya, smoke weed, etc

As a NE dago myself, your family sounds like a bunch of Sbarro-tier porch guineas.

This better be going somewhere good OP..

Oh yeah

>>741178524
>Sbarro-tier porch guineas.

Kek'd hard

Where is this going exactly?

Hurry up faggot
I wanna wank and you're keeping me here

>V finally get's me home well after midnight, probably a quarter to 3 or some shit
>had the time of my life, tell him we should hang out again, but when I have money so he doesn't have to do everything himself
>he tells me not to worry about it, and that he knows I wouldn't take advantage of him
>the next day he messages me again, and we repeat the process
>do this for awhile, just getting to know that side of the fam more and more
>still have no clue how they all have so much cash. Even some of the guys my age had massive wads of bills at all times
>figure it's just rich parents or something
>my dad starts wondering where I am all the time, and asks
>I don't see a problem with it, and tell him I've been with my cousins and shit
>he gets really serious and tells me to not hang out with them
>Note, my dad was a really lenient parent, so this confused me alot
>ask him why
>he just says "listen anon, I know that life seems really fun and glorious, but trust me, you're better off staying away like I did."
>basically I blow him off and still hang out with them all the time
>one day while hanging out at some random by the slice style restaurant V asks if I have a job, I guess that topic never came up

>>741178771

Nowhere. OP is a wannabe wiseguy faggot. I know this kind of shit, I lived my entire life dealing with what he's trying to fabricate or embellish.

It's retarded and makes your family look like gaudy, stereotypical assholes.

Lurkin

proceed

>>741179383
fuck off cunt, I never wanted any of this to happen. Like I said I barely even knew I was italian american until the reunion.
>I tell V no, and that I just take odd jobs during the summer and live off that all year.
>V tells me he does kinda the same thing, and that his dad's friends give him things to do until he's responsible enough for a real job
>That blasts my ass off, since his exorbitant amount of cash
>go back to hanging out
>a few days pass by and V hits me up again, tells me I can help him make some money if I want
>tell him I'm down, and ask what we are doing, thinking it's mowing lawns or construction or something, since his dad owned a construction business
>he tells me he'll explain when he gets me
>he pick me up and fills me in
>and by that he says something like "I gotta go to a couple places for my dad is all and run some errands"
>I figure this is gonna be an easy ten bucks or something so I don't question it
>We go to a few of the places we had hung out at and asks to see the owner each time, who graciously hugs V and talks to him.
>after awhile each time, V then goes into the office of the establishment we were in and walks out with varying amounts of cash or checks to his dad's company
>before the first place we were, he told me just to stay with him and be myself
>this weird's me out, since I've never even seen that much money before
>when we get in the car after like the 4th stop I ask V "Hey man, what the hell are we doing?"
>V smiles and says "Making money, that's what. We got two more places to go"

Bumperoo

im intrigued, bump

Bumpalumpadingdong

Hurry faggot

>At this point dots start connecting in my head
>Construction business, a bunch of money, everyone knowing each other and being "related"
>but still once again, I didn't even live in New York or Jersey, or even on the same side of the country, so I just push out the thought
>we go to the last two places, he repeats the same process as normal, and we head back to his place and chill for a few hours

>>741180340

How the fuck did you not know that til you were in your teens?

Did your dad keep that shit from you cause he knew you were too slow to get involved with your knuckle dragging mamaluke cousins and would blow up the spot?

>Bet you didn't even eat goat brains as a kid you fuckin mook

>>741180612
Short post? Fuck yourself, anon.

Goddamit hurry up you pizza fuck.
Do you write so slow because you can't stop gesticulating with your hands? Fucking Italians

walk the fucking dinosaur and get it over with faggot

walk the damn dinosaur faggot

>>741180612
I posted this just so you faggots would stop complaining. Back to my tale
>>741180764
I knew, but like I said besides my dad making a mean Penne Rigate and telling me to always call sauce "gravy" when I was a kid, the culture never influenced me
>he takes me home and before I get out he tells me "Anon, don't forget this"
>Hands me close to 300 dollars
>I completely forgot that I had "worked" with him
>he tells me we can do it all again next month
>I tell him I'm down because it really was easy money, and that we should hang out again soon
>the week comes and goes and the next weekend he invites me to hang out again
>this time he tells me to dress kind of good, since his dad wants me to come to sunday dinner
>I put on nice pants and a button up, then drive down to V's place
>hang out with all of our friends down there together while waiting for dinner,
>The meal comes, nothing crazy happens, just a bunch of parents making small talk and stuff while us kids quietly make dick jokes and laugh
>Normal family stuff
>after dinner V's dad pulls me aside and says "I hear you helped my son do his rounds last week. I'm glad he's helping you integrate to our little close knit group here. Your dad is a great guy but he just doesn't get it, y'know?"
>I don't really know, but everyone seems to kiss this guy's ass, so I do too
>"Thank you Mr.Spaghetti. I really like hanging out over here, and I didn't mind helping V last week either"
>he chuckles and says "yeah, I bet your wallet didn't mind either. You're welcome here anytime anon, and if you ever need anything, just tell V to tell me"

>>741181525

>telling me to always call sauce "gravy" when I was a kid

Ok I redact my previous statement. You're a wop. A dumb, long winded one who sucks are being frank. But you pass.

Also fuck calling that shit gravy. I caught many spoons growing up for saying Marinara.

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Bamp

>>741181525
This story sucks because even if you did know someone who was someone, you're still alive. You're clearly autistic, or at least slow; it's obvious from your writing and how you describe yourself and the situation.

>>741181946
Or maybe this is /b/ and we're here to be fucking entertained, not told the truth.

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B

>>741182174
Never said anything about truth b/rother

It's been 16 mins op cmon

hurry the fuck up

>>741181859
My mom would always clip my ears when I couldn't roll my R's when she was teaching me the few words of Italian I know
>I hug Mr.Spaghetti and tell him thank you,
>go up to V's room and we all chill there
>slowly one by one parents come up and get their kids to leave
>I stay behind since we are still chilling and I don't have anywhere to be.
>Finally I ask V "Man...um...why did we get so much money last week?"
>V thinks about what to say and then tells me "On top of construction, my dad runs an insurance agency sort of"
>It still doesn't make sense that we got cash in hand, but I don't want to pry so I just ask "What kind of insurance?"
>He smiles and says "Health insurance. Now get the fuck outta here before your dad chops my nuts off"
>I head home, knowing full well what these people were
>but you have to remember that I was just an angsty kid, so I thought it was cool as fuck
>I IM V when I get home and tell him "Hey V, if you ever need someone to help you with anything, I'm your guy"
>probably dream about being Tony Soprano or something since I thought I was hot shit
>Next time V calls me he says "You wanna help me with some more work?"
>of course I do because I've already started acting like some Scorsese movie character at school
>He tells me he'll come get me that weekend and that to bring a hat
>I get super excited, thinking of glorified scenarios of knocking over stores or enforcing our tax on lowlife degenerates
>Basically I thought I was gonna become the next Joe Gallo
>Saturday shows up, and I wait for V in my driveway wearing a school baseball cap I had
>I get in when he shows up, and he starts laughing like an idiot
>tells me I'm a dumbass
>lolwhy
>He tells me the hat I chose is stupid, because the school colors are a dead giveaway
>stops at a gas station before leaving and buys me a plain black ball cap and some sunglasses, but also throws in like thirty other random items

NEXT

>>741182174
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>741183766
Even if it is fake its fun to read and keeps my suicidal thoughts away for a few minutes
It is an interesting story

>>741183766
but we can believe..
you can trust me that i live with the drug-addict since born and i am able .to cook meth since my 14, but you can call me a faggot and never know

>>741183902
I'm just killing time hoping shit bag boy comes back. This story could be interesting if he hadn't wasted the last hour essentially saying he went to a family party and met a cousin and uncle he didn't know well, and cut out a bunch of dogshit and started from there.

>we get back on the road and I ask him what we're doing
>he tells me to stop worrying about it
>We get to his city and he drives me to an old hotel
>We walk up to a higher floor, i dont remember what floor, but it was like 3 or 4, and he stops in front of a room and hands me a keycard
>He looks at me and says "all we gotta do is look out the window in this room. If you see any cops, park here and I'm out of the room for some reason, just call the desk, ask to speak to Mr.Horris (the actual name he told me to ask for, but only because it was clearly an Alias)
>We wait around for at least 7 hours
>finally V get's paged saying he can leave
>We do and V hands me a few hundred bucks again
>I ask what just happened, he told me I was "playing security guard for boardgame night"
>realise there was probably some sort of illegal poker game held in the hotel, and we were the look outs
>He tells me I'm doing really good, and that he likes that I drop the questions after just a couple
>the next couple weeks we do busy work like that quite a bit
>one day we are what I can only assume to be a follow car, and tells me to keep his eyes on some red Honda a few cars ahead of us
>another time we had to wait outside some random empty office complex for an hour and make sure no one came in until a couple of our other friends parents came out it and told us we did "real good"

Proceed

on with it goddamn

England is a cool place.

>>741183766
Unless it's related to the god emperor, then all the faggots are fucking experts in truth

i like this keep it up op

B

>>741185276
U

>>741185308
M

FASTER OP

L

A

>I start to be with V more than any of his other friends
>Summer starts and I'm with him nearly every day
>and of course, I think I'm some big shot gangster
>I start dressing like all the other guys, buy rings and a cross necklace, even start going to church (I don't even believe in god) with V's family every week
>One day V pulls up to my house like always, but seems a little on edge
>I ask him why, and he sighs and actually gives me a straight answer
>Apparently the last time we did collections, the owner of the restaurant place thing we hung out at quite a bit was short for the second time
>He said he told his dad, who told him to stop being a pussy and take care of it
>He says that's what we're doing that day
>I get super hyped
>As much as i understand where V is coming from, having known this guy for his entire life, I'm hyped for the responsibility
>as far as I knew, V's dad had never asked V to do something remotely serious like this, and I knew this was probably gonna be a big stepping stone into us being big time
>even V's older brother got put into the loop and eventually a few years later, according to A from earlier in the thread, got made after enforcing his first tax
>I felt better than ever. All I could think about was the first half of Goodfelllas, where the kid is slowly getting to know everyone
>We get to the restaurant and V tells me "I have a bat in the trunk. Grab it and meet me inside"
>I do as i'm told like a good little goombah and walk in.
>V is casually sitting down at our booth, then motions for me to come over.
>I stroll over to him like I own the place and sit down
>He seems serious now, and that get's me even more pumped

>>741185641
Go on...

This is getting interesting good job OP

Be faster OP

>>741185641
hurry hurry hurry

Come on, fucker

I'm really enjoying this story!

>>741185641
Hype is real

>>741186671
kek

>I sit down next to him
>V looks at me and motions for the bad
>I give him the bat
>Some guy opens the door and walks in
>He brings some cuffs and turns the guy on all fours
>V shoves the bat up his ass
>I look on
>whatthefuck.jpeg
>the guy is screaming and now V is laughing
>he motions for me to come over

>>741186890
Fucking stop with the short posts.

>>741187034
16 mins for this?

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>>741186671
I HAVE THIS SAME MEME.
>>741186890
fuckoff you faggot nigger fake OP
anyway
>he tells me the plan on what's gonna happen, and with that I get up and walk up to the counter
>keeping the bat down, I asked calmly if Mr.Resteraunt Owner was here
A little description here, the "restaurant" was more of a mom and pop type place, that served pizza and corndogs, as well as a few brands of soda. Basically, it was only around to keep teenagers out of trouble in the street and to hang out there instead. It had three booths on each side of the restaurant, with three tables in the middle. At the end was a door to the bathroom, the counter/kitchen, and next to that was the door to the office
>The lady working, who knew me after 6 months of weekly hang out sessions there, smiles and says "yeah anon, he's in his office."
>I ask if she'd mind getting him for me
>meanwhile while this is happening, V walks to the kitchen and grabs the intercom mic they used to announce order numbers
>he said something like "Excuse me guys, in the booth closest to the door, I'm afraid you have to leave. Now. We don't like you or your ugly fuckin mug in this joint, and we want you fucking out of here"
>The counter lady looks back at him, but being the cocky, wannabe mobster I was, I just said "Easy honey. The only way this goes down other than losing those customers is losing all of them forever. Now go get Mr. Restaurant please,"
>she walks over and knocks on the door, and says Anon and V Spaghetti are here to see you (people thought I was Vs younger brother sometimes, and his dad constantly joked about me changing my last name and moving in, however I actually contemplated it)
>he comes out smiling and walks behind the counter as V comes next to me

>>741186890
You could write a book avout this like holy shit its very detailed
I would buy it

>>741187107
its about to go DOWN

>>741187107
>as i look at the intercom V motions for me to hit him on the head
>me being a faggot ape i do as he says
>V shouts on the intercom "BEAT THE NIGGER, GET THE NIGGER"
>suddenly about 100 cop cars appear out of nowhere
>its a trap
>me and V try to bail through the fire exit

>>741187388
Kek.

No, but seriously. Stop it, bitch.

>>741187388
Just fuck off and don't ruin it

>>741187388
just call some pleb and narrate it to them so they can type it up, ur a snail

>>741187547
fuck I meant to send it to op I feel like an idiot

>>741187639
b8 much?

>>741187639
>40 days after trial
>im in jail
>for some reason V is in my jail cell
>we develop feeling for each other
>bumfuck till im 50

>>741187639
Go fuck yourself. Fake OP.

>>741187669
Obvious much?

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>>741187731

>>741187731
F U C K
Y O U R S E L F

>get out of jail
>dad calls me a fag
>beat my dad

i broke the law im so scared, i dont wanna go back to prison i wanna be with my love of my life. should have i punched him?

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How much time in your story has passed since your first post?

>>741187731
>be faggot anon
>has no significant social contacts
>jerks off to unintelligent faked cont stories
>cries himself to sleep while jerking to his dead mother

>>741188010
almost 3 hours

>>741188021
>goes to prison for child porn charges
>jacks of to this thread
>makes book out of experiences
>makes millions of book

>>741188021
wtf r u me?

His story sure is filled with a lot of useless details. What was with that whole first act where hes smoking weed and playing video games with his cousins for 90% of it

>>741188166
Nice dubs rohulk

>>741188251
I agree too much filler. The anime was better, surprisingly enough.

>"Hey guys can I get you something?" he says still smiling
>V says "yeah, you can get us the 800 dollars short from last week, the 600 from the month before, and an extra 200 for making me come down here and ruin your day"
>The owner is really quiet, and no one says anything for awhile and V says "I'm bad at math. Anon, how much does Restaurant Owner owe us?"
>"Yeah V, about 16 hundred."
>V does a fake laugh and says "Now how about that? 16 hundred dollars you owe us. What is that, like half of this shithole's yearly profit?"
>The owner get's all fired up. Zero to a hundred real quick
>slams his hand down on the counter and says "Look, I respect both of you, and this is no way to treat someone you've known since you were a kid. Especially someone who's older than you"
>I get cocky, knowing I'm in the position of power, lift the bat and rest it on my shoulder and say "Actually, you fucking cocksucker, I just met you a few months ago. And I don't give a shit how old you are."
>Angsty, I know. It's just what I said
>V then sits on the counter and pushes himself to the other side of it, so he's face to face with the owner
>He sighs and looks down, then says "You're right, Restaurant Owner. I have known me forever. Which is why I'm wondering why you would disrespect me, and more importantly my dad, like this"
>I make a tsk tsk sound and walk around the counter as well
>Put the end of the bat against the owners chest and slowly push him away
>V chuckles and says to the lady who was working, still standing by the office "Ma'am, would you mind opening the register for us?"
>She starts to head over, then stops and says "No...I don't think I should."
>I say to her back "I think Mr. Owner would really appreciate it if you did" and I nudge him with the bat pretty hard, but not hard enough to cause more than slight pain
>she reluctantly does, and V grabs all the cash inside
>He sighs and says "Is this it? What is this? 150 bucks?"

Inb4 baddabing baddaboom

>>741188957
i FEEL the dinosaur coming but still i'm really entertained by it - but why does it take you soo fucking long to write it

>>741188957
>the owner says "it's...it's all I have"
>V replied "It's not the only thing I'm here for."
>V would look at the lady
>I shout "GET ON YOUR KNEE'S BITCH AND SUCK ON MY COCK"
>she gets on her knees and undoes my zipper, sucking on me 3" penis
>V undresses and makes the owner suck his cock
>we gay in here
>but not full gay tho

>>741188957
Please end my suffering

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEodHWBzDSU

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>>741188957
>V isn’t satisfied with the money
>V starts talking about other ways to fulfill mr.resturants Debt
Mfw V fucks the mr.resturant

im dijorno bambino of the gambino family and you've got some fuckin bawls talking about don gambino in these greentexts you know that OP? You need to learn some fuckin respect. Now don't let me catch you runnin your mouth around here no more. Capiche?

Im walkin here!

>>741188957
> The owner said yea about $150
> The rest is in the basement safe
> I'll get it.jpeg
> I go to the basement while V waits
> go to basement
> no safe
> just the owners dead-eyed 300lb mongol son
> he fucks me in the ass for the next 5 years because I'm a beta faggot
> when he's not bringing me my daily water and bread ration the old man joins in too
> V gets the bright idea to record it one random month as insurance so I never flip on him
> last week the place caught fire and in a foggy haze some fire dude finally let me out after he took a turn
> I'm now homeless since my dad called me a faggot after he found out where I'd been
> I'm about to get kicked out of the library as they have limited Saturday hours
> I'm so glad I took a chance with my life and almost joined the mob. They would have taken me if I weren't a faggot they said
> I've never been more free

>>741189935
>V yells
>"BADA BING"
>V cums
>"BADA BOOM"

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>>741188251
>>741188588
You guys are right. I was just thinking about this today and I'm writing it down as I remember details
>>741189238
No dinosaur, and because I'm actually in a car right now on mobile
>Owner looks even more angry and says "Well what do you want from me? I own a small shop, what more can you ask for?
>I hit him in the gut with the front of the bat and say "We want another 15 hundred bucks. That's what the fuck we want."
>Owner kneels over with the breath knocked out of him, but V picks him up and shoves him to the office
>yells at him to get open the safe that he kept there
> I give a fifty to the counter lady and the one cook in the back, and tell them they can go home for the day and forget they were ever at work
>all of a sudden V yells "What the fuck is this?"
>run into the office, expecting the owner to have a gun or something
>instead it's just a couple hundred more bucks in small bills
>I say "oh you gotta be fucking with me right now. This all you got? 500 bucks total in this place?
>Owner is now more scared than angry, starts giving us excuses
>I tell him to shut the fuck up and ask how he's gonna get us the rest
> He just says "I-I don't know anon"
>V slaps him and says "you dont know? You better know real fuckin soon" and slaps him again
>I join in and we start kicking the shit out of him
>after only a bit I lean down and say to him on the floor "two days. you got two days to get us the rest of Mr.Spaghetti's money. In two days we come back and you don't have it, what happened today is gonna seem like a fun Saturday night out"
>we leave
>two days later we come back
>Owner gives us 2 grand and a free meal
more is coming still. And thanks to all the retards in this thread making troll posts. It's entertaining as fuck. keep it up guys

>>741190526
bump

>>741190526
Stop fucking reading what other people are writing and type faster faggot

>>741190526
Did you have the gabagool?

>>741190526
This is a great story. Not any of that weird ass shit that gets posted on /b/ usually.

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>as we walk out owner laughs
>V says "the fuck you laughin about"
>mfw he came in our meal

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>>741190858

Someone post the rest on reddit please. I have to leave

>>741191007
*smooch*

Don't forget your backpack, Billy.

>extort a man
>beat his ass
>eat a meal he cooks for you afterwards.

I hope you know he jizzed all up in that meal

>>741191007
Wat

I've actually got a relevant story.
>skating around town at 14 with friends
>see a couple girls and we say hi
>they take to us and tell us about an ex they want beat up
>we help out like little white knights, but never find ex
>I'm not really into girls yet
>2 friends date 2 of the girls
>completely cuts into our skating time because they always want to hang out with the girls
>ff about a year
>turns out the one likes me. Likes me more than the friend of mine she's dating
>I don't know this and don't give a fuck anyway
>one day we completely shirk skating and just go right to their house
>girl that likes me keeps throwing dominoes at me because we're teens and don't know how to flirt
>pisses me off
>really pisses me off
>leave, angry and teenage
>on my way home stop at burger King because I'm a teen and always hungry
>man outside in a Mercedes suv calls me over
>his daughter is in an abusive relationship. She broke up with the guy, but he keeps stalking her
>tells me hell give me 50 bucks to kick the guys ass
>angry teen says fuck yeah, I'd do it for free
>drives me to the kids house, drops me off and hands me the hundy, and I do the deed
>go home, never talk about it because I realize how sketchy it was
Cont

>>741191207
Grassiass

>>741191307
Bummp

>>741191307
what the fuck u saying

>>74119052
bump

>>741191307
>ff 2 years, have my license and an explorer
>doing grocery shopping for dad because that's what you do when youre a teen
>see the guy in the store
>make no signal that I've noticed him
>out at my car, he approaches me
>says he's got another job for me, pays well. Better than the first one
Also relevant, my original first car was a mustang which was stolen from my driveway and crashed outside my father's work by some drug addiction. I'm an even more angry teen
>tell him I'll do it for free, just let me drop off these groceries
>he takes me into the city, has me beat on some beaner
>takes me home, tells me well keep in touch
>how?
>doesn't say
Cont? Ironically, this is also what turned me into a raging alcoholic for a few years

>>741191307
Ah, fuck it

Cont

bumperoo

>>741191770
Cont.

>>741191770
gtfo of here, fag

Take your story with you.

Two stories at once is too confusing for me

>>741192042
Agreed.

>>741191770
>Cont?

no. Kys. The OP is doing a good job of larping as it is.

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>>741190526
>After that, we do get alot more responsibility
>V's dad fucking raves about how well we are doing
>making fucking bank. 900 of that 2 grand went straight in my pocket
>stuff like that shakedown become a weekly occurrence
>My dad openly expresses worry about me now
>he knows full well what I'm doing over in the other city now
>not hard to tell, all of a sudden I'm wearing 500 dollar outfits and buying a new car
>don't give a shit, because why would I? I have money and they treat me like an adult there
>this goes on for weeks
>Me and V are pretty much inseperable, I sleep most nights in the spare bedroom next to his at his house
>One day while smoking weed out by the pool I say "man, we gotta do some of our own shit. Your dad is gonna be really impressed if we start making our own scores and cutting him in on it."
>He completely agrees and we start planning
>first thing we did by our-selves was go to the complete opposite side of the city and jack a pretty nice BMW.
>Not some crazy heist, we just checked car doors in a parking garage with hoods and hats on until we found one we like that was unlocked
>he hotwires it because I don't know how, and we get away just fine
>take it to one of our friends dad's chop shops, he gives us cash in hand for the car
>My piece was equal to V's and around 3 grand
>that night after dinner we go to tell Mr.Spaghetti when V stops me
>Hands me the stack of cash (because envelopes are gay)
>he says "You tell him. I'm gonna get made no matter what, but if you really want my dad to love you, talk to him yourself"
>knock on Mr.S's office door
>the only person in the entire family allowed in the office
was V's older brother for obvious reasons
>He opens the door and gets super pissed right away
>"Anon, you know I don't like being disturbed in my office"
>"I know Mr.S, there's just something I really wanna tell you
>He seems a bit taken back, but he lets me in

>>741191770
Shit, I've gotta go hang out with my current girlfriend. Maybe I'll make my own thread about this story sometime.
The tldr, he finds me at the same grocery store multiple times for similar work which evolves slowly into being present for deals. I never knew what was being sold, but it was movie scene type shit with briefcases being exchanged. He has me hold a gun for a few and eventually I end up using it because they tried to rob us. Later he gives me another beat up a guy deal, and I didn't stop until the blood hit my shoulder. Told him no more violent shit because I was drinking constantly to deal with it and he gave me courier jobs instead. He also had me kidnapped and questioned about his own work to make sure I was trustworthy, not a snitch. I eventually got out of the work because I made friends with his daughter (lost my v card to her which I'm sure he doesn't know) and eventually saved her life from some shady people and earned a favor. I asked to leave it all. That's at about 19 years old

>>741192640
Don't come back.

>>741192640
yeah, no one's interested, fuck off with your fantasy

>>741192640
Fake and gay cliche comments incoming

>>741192640
>I gotta go fuck my hand
>maybe I'll waste everyone's time again in the future

>>741192860
Seriously, what else could you be doing?

>>741192367
cont man we need the rest of the story

>>741192367
>He fully opens the door
>Gets on the floor
>Everybody walk to dinosaur

>The office is fucking rad
>It had a pool table, computer, leather furniture, his dad's bigass mahogoney desk, and a huge tv
>I close the door after taking in this badass room straight out of a mob movie and say "Mr.S, this is for you, from the unlucky owner of a BMW who forgot to lock his doors today"
>Hand him the money
>Mr.S seems super surprised.
>Surprise turns to anger
>"What the fuck is this? You think you're a big bad wiseguy now huh?"
>I start stuttering like an idiot trying to explain we were trying to impress him and all that
>He starts laughing and claps me on the back
>"I was bustin your balls anon. Tell me what happened."
>Explain to him that he just door checked all the nice cars in a garage until we found one, then drove it to the nearest chop shop and parked it down the street, instead of taking it straight there
>He is so proud he's almost fucking crying
>He hugs me and sends me out of the office
>next morning he gives me an V each a ring that he owned.
>we decide we gotta keep doing our own shit on top of what he tells us too
>start brainstorming the next score
>An aha moment hits me
>plan our shit and get a few supplies

>Not pre-typing out some 20 paragraph bullshit greentext

Kill yourself OP.

>>741192758
>>741192796
>>741192853
If I was going to tell a fake story it would have been a lot more exciting than that.

That's okay though, well just pretend organized crime doesn't exist and nobody ever gets involved as a young man and regrets it.

>>741193576
Fuck off it's rare enough there's an actual good greentext posted here as is

>i suck at storytelling and have a limited imagination completely informed by hollywood movies therefore it MUST be true
fuck off, faggot

>>741174786
>>741176103
>>741176834
>>741177703
>>741178503
>>741179370
>>741180340
>>741180612
>>741181525
>>741183068
>>741184285
>>741185641
>>741187107
>>741188957
>>741190526
>>741192367
>>741193550
Somebody start screen capping this so we can pass this to further generations of 4chan

>>741194188
why don't you do it you lazy nigger

>>741194188
Yes plz. I'm a faggot so put me on the screencap

>>741194188
already doing it

>>741193728
Hey man, i merely pointed out the obvious

>>741194248
>because lazy nigger
God, you're obnoxious and stupid

>>741194260
PUT ME IN THE SCREENCAP

>>741194330
instead of begging for it like a thirsty slut why don't you contribute something to the thread?

In the cap blease

>>741194396
Contribute what fag? The only one doing anything is op

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>>741194330
only if sharpie in pooper

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Put me and this wool capped chicken in the Cap

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Put me in the screencap but with inverted colors and upside down

>>741194449
contribute something funny or something else worthy of being included in a screencap, not just begging to be put in.

I wonder how its all gunna end for OP!?

I think he upsets the mob boss and he gets his thumbs chopped off and thats why its taking him 3 million years to fucking type out the story

Plz. put me on screencap. me aka Nudle.
thanks for your time, also, hello reedit, hello dad, thanks abandonin me...

Goddamit just put op in the fucking cap and no one else
Bunch of nigger fagets

>>741194616
dw i'm not retarded

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Please hurry up OP

i am here, waiting for the end, to screencap all that shit at once.

But its too long and still about nothing, éven below reddit tier in terms of story progress and plot twists

fuck

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>>741194552
I kek'd

>>741194543
That's op's job, besides fucking typing slower than trump's wits

>>741194543
/thread

>>741194712
OP's a faggot?

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Oh Pee you gotta hurry this shit up

>>741194712
don't bother i already did it

>>741194552
>typing with thumbs
you fucking mobile posting faggot, get the fuck outta here

put me on fagcap

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>>741194788
always...

random image for entertaiment

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>>741194861
>OP already said he is driving while posting

>>741194861
OP said he was on mobile. Also you don't use your thumbs with a keyboard? How the fuck are you typing, you downy

OP here, sorry. Mr. Spaghetto found this and is making me suck his MASSIVE 7" cock to prove my loyalty. I swear im not gay 5 mins

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funy imagge

>>741195046
you don't type exclusively with your thumbs on a keyboard you mong. and if need be you can use your index finger for the spacebar. goddamn it's fucking summer in here with you little twats. bunch of midget minded, little dick bug fuckers the lot of you

>>741194463
Okay you have hyves?

>>741195005
op's fucking dead

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>>741195046
Something like this probably

>>741195174
Calm down there, son.

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>>741195185
no just fucking post it there faggot and maybe it'll be worth being in the cap

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>>741193550
>After about a solid two weeks of nonstop planning when we weren't doing stuff for V's dad, we decide to go after our score
>V's dad had complained to a friend of our's dad once about some small but popular Mountaineering store that was making a ton of money, but couldn't be swayed into paying his tax
>we pull up in a stolen car with fake Dealership plates
>A is driving because he'd been doing really well making collections, according to Mr.Spaghetti
>he wore a cap I think and sunglasses, but V and I wore really popular Halloween masks we bought at a second hand costume store
>also all wearing plain black hoodies and jeans
>we rush out and run into the store
>only one customer at the moment, V hits them with his gun and she falls down, not unconscious but taken off guard
>I walk past her saying "just shut the fuck up and Hand over your cell phone"
>V is already at the counter holding the attendant at gunpoint
>I join him but keep an eye on the lady
>V asks the man to open the register with one hand, keeping the other in the air
>I smash the only camera with a Camp Shovel that was on a shelf while V is getting the money,
>I then take the customer by the arm walk infront of a door behind the counter and ask the employee there "Is this the office?"
>they nod and I tell them "Well, I think this nice lady would really appreciate it if you went ahead and let us in there, as well as clearing out the safe we both know is in there"
>The employee goes in and starts opening the safe, to a huge relief to V and I because neither of us knew if the employee knew the combo
>Get a bunch of money, and rush out
>get away scott free
My life continued like this for a long time. I never once questioned how moral it was or anything, because of the power and money I got from it. I even moved out of my dad's house and in with Mr.Spaghetti, who enrolled me in school in the city. My dad didn't like it, but was too afraid to stop me Only one or two more Cont now

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>>741193550
>mfw 'Hey guys, this is the story of how I accidentally got involved in organised crime' becomes 'This is how I ingratiated myself to a mafiosa'

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screencap is here

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Y'all learn the fucking difference

>>741195347
Wtf dude do you live in 1900 or something who the fuck doesn't have hyves?

>>741195174
Can you please draw a diagram of how to type without thumbs for me please?

>>741195471
why is there a random ass cactus??

>>741195462
Wheres my chicken cap request?!?! XD XD XD XD XD XD

>>741195577
on a computer keyboard? yeah, when it's time to hit space bar call your wife's bull over and have him flop his cock on it. make sure to lick up whatever he leaves behind (precum, your wife's juices, whatever)

diagram coming soon

penis?
hold phone in one hand and type with the other hand?

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>>741195397
Hurry the fuck up, OP.

I've eaten lunch and dinner while waiting for your shit.

>>741195482
idc just post it here, you're too shy ? well not worth being in the cap

How do you make your text green?

>>741195870
By blowing m00t

>>741195727
Thnx anon, appreciate the effort you're putting in. You sure are an expert in all of this

>>741195762
I don't have a pooper

>>741195462
>leaves out the bada bing post
>screencap the reaot on it
screencap the non-op continues, but make a blue border around that or remove all react to other posts

>>741195870
kys or lurk more summerfag

>>741195930
What is m00t?

>>741195870
newfag, and probably bait, but ive nothing better to do, add the greater than symbol (>) infront of what you type to make it green

>>741195870
>How do you make your text green?

Less than sign.

this greentext started 4 hours ago, and its stil nod finished....

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including chicc

>>741195999
checked and dw my screencap is better

>>741196079
>thnx

>>741196078
gay

>>741196124
OP is a faggot

>>741195999
Also include all posts you deemed kek worthy and maybe add some of your own creative illustrations and also narrate the whole story in your best reading voice cheers xx

>>741195663
whats wrong with a cactus

they are nice plants that need little attention

OP. I've been following this from the start. It's been a good story. However, you need to fuck yourself with a broom for not pretyping. It's been 4 fucking hours. I've taken like 5 shits and gotten drunk since we started.

>>741196200
Jus like me

>>741196200
Nothing is wrong with cactus, dont react to a random 12yo summer edgelord


also cheked

>>741196149
>>741196176
>>741196155
>>741196238
Im the guy who requested screencap and im tired im gonna sleep someone post this later so i can find it ty

>>741196079
>Thanks, bro.

Can someone please help me I have a virus on my computer but I don't know how to remove it

>>741196221
you take 5 shits in 4 hours? see a doctor man. add this man's poor colon problems to the screen cap please. we will remember him forever when he dies of colon cancer in the next few weeks

Got high and have had to stay high since this shit started just so i could put up with OPs shit and now im out of weed. Thanks OP

>>741196086
>the state of education on /b/
inb4 "i was just pretending to be retarded" or "i gave him the wrong answer to be devilish hehehe"

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>>741196149
>including worthless cap beggars
shiggery diggery doo

>>741174786
holy fuck I want to believe pic related

>>741196348
remove "system32" in windows folder, it will help but do it in console, google it

>>741196348

removing yourself from the room will remove all viruses from the vicinity of your computer

>>741196348
you must delet systum 32

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>>741196337
Also proof

>>741196149
Cheers mate - Chicc

>>741196467
Thank you hopefully it works

>>741196438
youve seriously not read the don before?

>>741196438
If this story is ever made into a movie "Don the Downy" will be the prequel

>>741196535
Don was fun, i hope it will continue

>>741196190
might do but takes time

>>741196467
>>741196481

Can you tell more how to delete system 32? I don't know much about computers

>>741196435
dw mine is better

>>741196337
no one cares if you requested something i did it for the community so maybe you'll find it one day on a "best of /b/" thread or idk fuck you

>>741196529
go to console
>cd\
>cd\Windows
>del system32

>>741196657

First you find a girl with syphilis and you stick your dick in her. Let us know when you have that part completed.

Bring this thread back to the subject.

Post faster, OP!!!

>>741196740
Okay now what?

>>741196682
>this
>best of 4chan
if this wont end with "getting banboozled" or in a edgy bloodbath, it will never leaves your HDD and reddit where you will post it to get some circlejerk upvotes

>>741196729
DUDE WTF IS HAPPENING TO MY COMPUTER

>>741196871
topkek

>>741196871
everything is OK, its self-repair

>>741196860

next you have her take a massive shit, and rub it all over your dick. When thats finished, you lick your fingers clean and chop off your dick with a carving knife. Feed it to the syphilitic bitch.

Finally, throw the computer out the window, and pray to the god of storms. Ive found that for system32 to be deleted, all steps need to be followed exactly

>>741196868
i don't think you've been here for long because i've seen ALOT of greentext worse than this, idc maybe it'll entertain someone one day

>>741196871
Just restart now and everything will be fine again

>>741196950
dont listen to >>741197008
hes trying to make you back it up

>>741197070
>>741196950
>>741196911
ITS BROKEN WTF

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>>741174786

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last improvement by me
to the anon whos doing a cap as well
fell free to use this as back up
or shut it

Good novel

>>741197122
impossible, post a timestamped picture

>>741197177
Fuck off with that pedo shit

>>741196358
I've seen a doctor. He recommended probiotics and a gluten free diet. Really, I think it's causes by my drinking. I've had gas all day. My farts can melt plastic and strip paint from concrete.

>>741197308
stfu no one cares

>>741197308
get an english speaking computer

>>741174786
>dons on me
you're alright.

>>741197065
tbh. yea, this is my second lurking on /b/ this year, i am primary on /jp/, /g/, /k/ and /bant/ or /wsg/.

this is a first time that /b/ catches my attencion

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Why doesn’t anyone include this in the screen cap >:(

>>741197409
come on man, /bant/ you can do better than this

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>I lived like a straight up mobster at that point
>my entire life was separated into chilling with V and my other cousins, doing work for the family, and going to school
>Mr.S has us running poker games, negotiating ransoms, and even arranging low level bribes for him
>and this last part takes place at one of those poker games
>V and I are running it, but of course we hired an outside dealer so the players can't accuse us of putting the odds in our favor
>basically we are making food, pouring drinks, breaking balls and occasionally joining in for a game or two
>The dealer is some random prick who we'd never used before, but V's brother had and said he was a good one
>This particular game wasn't crazy or anything, but there was 4 grand buy in so it wasn't small
>I'm making everyone's drinks while V is playing a round when all of a sudden someone knocks on the door
>Everyone snaps their attention to it
>I tell them all to get back to Hold Em and not to worry
>Check out the peep hole and it's one of the kids we hired to be lookout
>get pissed, open the door and demand he tell us why he didn't just call if something was up
>he tells me he really needs to talk to me and I quietly excuse myself from the room
>He says Mr.S is on the phone in his room
>I head down to his room and pick it up
>"Hello Mr.Spaghetti?"
>"A-anon, you know I love you like a son. Just as much as I love V, don't you?"
>I start to get worried
>This is the type of shit someone hears before having his bones made
>"yeah Mr.Spaghetti. I love you too."
>"Good...I need you to do me a favor"
>He sounds like he's on the brink of tears
>"Anything, Mr.Spaghetti"
>"tell me where V was last Saturday"
>explain that he was watching a poker game, and that he said it went smoothly.
>He starts sobbing, then stops, and says in a very clear voice "he told me he was just with a girlfriend..."
>start to say I don't understand and he says "V got flipped. RICO stung him and they got him to work"

Did op get taken out?

Very nice shit OP.

>>741180612
You from Michigan?

>>741197187
nice work, but i feel like you ruined some jokes on purpose or what?
ebin :DDD

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>>741197122

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>>741197562
OH SHIT BOII

Plot twist.

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I CAN FEEL THE CLIMAX OF STORY

>>741197562
RICO isn't an agency. Goddamn it OP

>>741197562
i don't understand what happens at the end, anyone cares to explain the last part ?

>>741198129
V's a fucking piece of shit

>>741197985
op is a faggot

>>741198129
Working for the cops I think. I dunno I'm retarded.

>>741198233
Nice dubs

>>741198311
I got dubs too.

>>741197562
Hurry up, OP!

I've held my nut for hours now!

>>741198199
>>741198311
>>741198233
Dubs
Dubs
Dubs

>>741198311
Nice dubs

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>>741198311

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Anon, we need to talk

this thread is blessed by dubs
parise kek

>>741183902
this, man

Can't wait for last cont.

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>>741197562
Great story keep it up faggot

I'm so fucking invested in this story rn