I'm pretty sure I have BPD but haven't been officially

maybe stop being such a heartless faggot yo

dont buy into sjw shit anymore

>>741165617
What sjw shit?

>>741165371
Get some therapy or something, idk how it is for BPD people but just try to think extra selflessly whenever ur losing your temper... idk though

>>741165695
He thinks BPD doesn't exist, and that it's an SJW excuse for being a shitty person, even though it's documented in several reliable medical journals as a real mental disorder.

>>741165866
Oh lol

>>741165768
Can't really afford therapy, so I came here. I'll try that, my main probably is the anxiety though. I feel like everyone's out to get me or something and that they know that I'm judging them in my head

>>741165866
nah i just think the majority of people claiming to have bpd are sjw fucks who cant keep their emotions in check because theyre massive cunts

>>741166280
I think I'm pretty smart and good hearted, not a massive cunt, but maybe I'm wrong.

I do have a problem controlling my emotions though and I treat people like they don't exist

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Relieve your stress Yes? No? Maybe?

>>741165371
if you don't work,
are you homeless?

>>741166761
No, live with mom

>>741166758
Sure OuO

>>741166881
what would you like to see take your time build up to release

>>741166881
okay well
here's a protip
once you stop depending on mommy,
your BPD and shit suddenly go away
because you have to work to pay bills to not be homeless.
your BPD and mental bullshit are self-manifested byproducts of being devoid of self-responsibility or independence

>>741167118
Tried that, had a car, money in the bank, was ready to move out then I had a breakdown and walked out of my job screaming like a toddler.

My dad had the same problem his entire life and he didn't live at home.

I think it's just my screwed up brain

>>741167039
Show me some nice asses

I am diagnosed BPD and the diagnosis changed my life and how I look at things because I take into consideration things I never realised I did before. Anyways, it's horrible. I'm a total empath yet I'm cold, have been called heartless. I have 0 tolerance for stressful situations, being in a room with a distressed person leads to complete shutdown, can not function until problem is resolved and mood improves. Can't work. Totally dependent at 23 yrs old. It's fucked. I'm basically a 12 yr old as far as my functionality goes. I want to die. I have no identity, purpose, interests, passions, aspirations,plans. I have to live day to day, if I think about the future at all I have an existential crisis and end up Baker acted. What even is the human brain? I'm so acutely aware of my situation yet I can do nothing about it. As if I do not want to be better. I seethe and wallow in my immense pain. I live in a void. I am the void. I embrace the void. One of my only things I do actively is planning my death in great detail so when I'm ready then I have it all planned out. Fortunately I have the support of my mother in life and also in death, she will assist me. And since exsanguination is my choice of death, it would require another person to drain me. Check!

Good luck on your journey through hell.

P.s. I take lamictal and effexor. Have been on lithium, paxil, other shit I forget because my memory is so fucking bad. I actually feel like I'm becoming senile due to my meds because my memory fades every day. But it keeps me from killing myself so there's that. K bye.

>>741167266
so, you were afraid of being independent,
so you never became independent
and now you're not independent still.

go do some DMT.
seriously.

>>741167373
23 yr old BPD person here. I really wanna try DMT
Can't hurt!

>>741167372
are your initials S. P.

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>>741167498
it will show you your problems in a way that you cannot ignore or scapegoat with excuses of self-importance or negative feelings

it will bitchslap your face off your face, drown your ego to death in a sea of accountability, hurling you over a horizon of reality

all the "you" that has problems that inhibit "you" will completely die.

it doesnt solve anything for you.
its all things you can do yourself.
just stop being such a bitch.

> What do you do to cope?

get really really into something. forcing your brain to work on a problem that isn't itself is the only way i stay sane. whenever i'm not busy, i start going down the hole. so i try to keep myself busy all the time.

>>741167373
I'lll try to find some. What about LSD?

>>741167372
Thanks for responding. Yeah, I can relate to a lot of that, but I don't think my case is as severe. I'll talk to my doctor about trying some meds, I think that would help.

It sounds to me like your case is pretty severe. Don't think about suicide, it's not fair to your mom. You're still young and have a lot of time to learn how to deal with it. Hope the best for you buddy

>>741167606
Nope. :3

Me again. I did ibogaine once. Ruined my life and saved me at the same time. I finally.got help.

Die

>>741167789
Me too but sometimes I get depressed so I come here to talk to you guys.

Hope you're alright today my dude

>>741167851
that makes you feel good.
sometimes in high doses in can put you in meditative, or introspectively conducive states, which allow you to work on your problems in that altered state, considering variables about you and your life that you can turn over and over and over until you have a better feel for them and how they interact with the other variables.

but it won't help you, if you still have that ego - that "I have a problem that slows me down" ego....

>>741167943
Nah, I love my mom too much

>>741167851
No problem. I think medication will be a good idea for the time being. At least it can help you cope now. Doesn't have to be forever but he'll, it's ok if it is! Don't let anyone make you feel bad for seeking and kind of help no matter what it is. If it helps you 1 percent then it's worth it and you're worth it. Sounds like you can be salvaged!

>>741168031
That ass pic no good ?

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>>741167118
>here's a protip
Your protip is shit.
>>741167373
>go do some DMT.
More shit advice, don't listen to this.
>>741167851
>What about LSD?
>Doing hard drugs when you're suspected to be BPD
Do you WANT to make yourself worse?

>>741167943
That's helpful.

>>741165371
Drugs

>>741167943
or do DMT.
same thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuJqUvBj4rE


>>741168103
dont ask the question, "do you want to make yourself worse."

ask, "don't you want make yourself better"

>>741168103
I figure I'm probably gonna die anyways, might as well check all the boxes. Or go out high as fuck. Y not?

>>741166195
Learn to say fuck em. Cuz fuck em

>>741168009
I do have an ego, but I'm learning to become more aware of how it affects me.

It's like I have the know my problem and how to deal with it, but I don't understand it and how to deal with it, if that makes sense.

My ego is clouding my ability to really understand shit and gain wisdom so all I have is knowledge

>>741168050
Thanks man

>>741168067
Keep 'em coming

>>741168217
I've been trying, but I need more confidence

>>741168278
knowledge without experience is arrogance

force yourself into uncomfortable situations.
next time you're in a tense environment,
like a public place where everyone is all posh and dressed and looking at their cell phones next to eachother,

listen to some miles davis and get comfortable.
forget you're there.
lean back and relax in a chair, close your eyes even if you feel like people will judge you.

you'll open your eyes to see that nobody gives a shit,
and it's all in your head.

the monkey bars, the stepping stones of yourself, that got you to where you are will go away, so you may feel empty, stranded, time wasted

but you will be forced to learn a new and better method of traversing your life.

>>741168462
You make a lot of sense. Are you a jedi or something?

>>741168497
Younger chicks. like 18-30

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>>741168605
no,
just someone who overcame the same problems

>>741168675
I was posting pics of me for you sorry anon! all I have are mine

>>741168713
Nice, well thanks for helping me out man. I still have a long way to go

>>741168754
Sorry, just not my type. Thanks though

>>741168713
I'm relaxing to some Miles Davis right now

>>741168901
Ok no problem, just wanted you to get a little release through masturbation

>>741168754
As a fellow femanon, you have a super nice booty. 10/10 would spank.

>>741167118
Literally the only balanced, sensible thought in this entire godforsaken mental faggot thread. Grow the fuck up people. Yes there are people with serious mental disorders detectable on a brainscan. The vast majority if you simply didn't get challenged, never overcame any obstacles and therefore never achieved any sense of self confidence in dealing with life.

>>741168999
Sounds nice Pic of you maybe?

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>>741169192
Hai :3

>>741169007
I think there's some truth to what you're saying, but I don't think you're 100% right.

A little challenge and integrity would go a long ways with a person like me.It's just easier for some than others.

I appreciate your concern though

>>741168994
I really do appreciate it, you are a good looking woman

>>741169296
Thank you

>>741169007
I was abandoned by my mother. *Thumbs up*

>>741169289
OuO

>>741169360
What did you mean by this?

Anyone with sociopathy wandering wether I have it, I have pretty much all of the symptoms but I haven't been clinically diagnosed.
What's it like for you?

>>741169289
Well sinse this is a tell all thread I would do more than spank you. BTW Hubby does not know Inam bi

>>741169453
Oh. Well thank you. I guess I'd do whatever you liked. No qualms about pleasing a fellow lady for me.

>>741169453
I've always wanted to utilize a strap on. One day.

>>741169534
Lol I am more of a sub with my ladyfriend

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>>741169289
more?

>>741169585
God I love that stop, You are getting me wet

>>741169666
I can work with that. :3 how long you been doing the bi thing without hub knowing?

>>741165371

My wife was diagnosed 4 years ago. It's been a trainwreck. She's gotten worse mentally the last 6 months and basically ignores me. I was her savior for the first 5 years of us being together. Last year has been brutal. She just started therapy, and is considered to be more self-aware than most with BPD. She struggles with a lot of the same issues as you.

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>>741169721

>>741169758
40 years

>>741169732
Ideal size?

>>741169828
You don't look old enough to have been doing it 40 yrs...

>>741169775
Do you know what's causing her to get worse?

Hope things get better for you

>>741169848
I am pettite no more than 7

>>741169907
Thank you but I am 59

>>741169973
I agree 7 is the limit. 5.5.or 6 is nice. My dildo is very very modest in size, smallest I've ever had but I love it. Git ER dun.

>>741169968

We moved to a new city. She basically found video games to push off her problems rather than face them. She's, like I said, very high functional. She holds down a solid job in management and has a pretty good handle on her previous Social Anxiety. I think its easier for her to escape than for her to face any problems she has. Thanks to therapy she is starting to learn to face problems immediately instead of letting them grow. Once they get so big she can't avoid them, she has a breakdown. Look up DBT for therapy options, there are workbooks you can do yourself. Youtube also is a good resource.

>>741170024
Tear it up girl. That's awesome.

>>741167372
Hector ?

>>741170075
Same here I hwve two one glass the other vibrating type

>>741170122
Lol you're sweet

>>741165371
Thats not bpd or even close to it

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>>741165371

>>741170122
Do you have a face pic clothed is fine, and how old are you?

>>741167372
Your like momento. Lol. Everyday u take your meds then plan how to kill yourself, just to forget how to kill yourself the next day and then plan again.

>>741170121
Yeah, that sounds like me. My problem is while I'm facing my problems, I get overwhelmed and ruin all my progress. I need to learn how to be consistent.

I'll check those out, thanks. Any specific Youtube channels you know of?

If you have anything, you don't have Borderline Personality Disorder, you have Antisocial Disorder.

>>741170229
Not even close? Damn

>>741170260
Lmao

>>741170478
I'll have to look into that

>>741170280
I have a face pic but I'd prefer not to post it on /b/ lol. I'm 23

>>741170378
Oh god you're right. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>741170658
I understand, some night I would hope to meet you on femanon thread and play

>>741170422

I suffered from depression in my early 20s, causing me to drop out of college. I have a pretty deep understanding of what's going on, but then again I'm not BPD. Her big step this last week was focusing on fixing one small problem, focusing on completing the task and the achievement. It's insane to think I'm elated that she cleaned the bathroom by herself, but that self confidence boost is huge. Focus on only one thing at a time anon. You're not going to fix everything at once...just work on what you can immediately change. Something simple, even if its a symbolic victory. You have to focus your brain on small tasks, then your thought process will start to change.

As far as YT, I just kinda soak up anything I can about BPD. Causes, symptoms, thinking. I've had to dedicate my life to understanding why my wife is the way she is, to try to help her.

>>741166280
I agree and disagree. I hate it when people try and excuse their shitty behaviour by saying 'omg I'm sooo bipolar' when in reality they're just selfish and trying to excuse themselves. But I also think there's probably a wider spectrum than is currently defined for BPD, lots of different symptoms and some people have only a few

It sucks for those of us that do have it. It runs in my family- and it is very real. Very difficult to even deal with people that have BPD.

I know it's going to happen to me. It usually triggers in our family either around 20-25, or mid forties, depending on drug use and stress/trauma. I already have mild manic and depressive phases, but I try and mitigate it with lifestyle choices, like working out regularly, stockpiling savings so that I won't end up in a triggering stressful situation, cycling caffeine and phenylpiracetem, small dosing psilocybin every once in a while to break depressive states.

>>741170734
Gimme a date and a time and I'll be there lol

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>>741165371
Try taking kratom. Herbal stuff that makes depression go away. I used it to get off hard drugs but noticed it helped me stay happy. Since I started to take it, my quality of life has greatly improved mentally and physically . I'm more active than ever. Picked up the skateboard again at age 30. Falls hurt a little more than they used to but fucking ahh I'm pushing and bombing hills getting my adrenaline. Mentaly god ... I actually get up and am motivated to do shit, and enjoy it as not everything including myself isnt just one big burden. Just amazing that I could be taking 10 diffrent medications to try and help with deppresio. And anxiety and what ever else was tucked up in the brain. Kratom fucking changed my life for the better

>>741167372
have you considered cognitive behavior therapy? Especially for learning how to cope in stressful situations?

You can probably do it yourself if you have a good enough imagination or through video games. Mentally imagine yourself in a stressful situation- then practice putting things into perspective. Like stepping outside of the situation and thinking about how in an hour, or a day, or whatever, you'll be past whatever your situation is in and disassociate yourself from the situation and instead turn it into a problem to solve. Idk if any of that makes sense.

>>741170759
That makes sense, thanks again.

You are a really great guy to dedicate so much effort to someone with a problem like that.

>>741171097
Where do you get it? How do you do it? How much is your dosage and how often do you do it?

>>741171097
Also I take it only once in the morning. Its like 3 grams of powdered leaf. Wash and toss and done. It taste like shit but it worked for me.

>>741170759
That makes sense, thanks again.

You are a really great guy to dedicate so much effort to someone with a problem like that.

>>741170821
I just wish more people could understand what it's like to have emotional issues like BPD

>>741171002
I'm hit and miss hete, husband works shifts, but if I see a thread titled femanon onl, I will post the pic in this thread, bending over coach in skirt and thigh highs. Then you know I'm in. BTW received a great fuck from hubby right after that pic eas taken. Also are you bi also?

>>741171219
I take about a heaping table spoon which is around 3 to maybe 6 grams. I take it once in the morni g when I get up. There are a few venders online that you can find. Some states are banning it or making it so you have to be 21 or older to use.

>>741169775
good luck...prepare yourself for the possibility that she will probably cheat on you and/or leave you out of the blue, or engage in other impulsive behavior. One of the best things I did for my mental health was to start engaging in risky hobbies so that I wouldn't take out my sensation seeking behavior on my partner. Like riding motorcycles, competitive fighting, that kind of stuff.

>>741171200

Thank you. It's be incredibly hard, and I'll be honest, most guys would have ditched this disaster...but I know who she really is underneath it all. The other piece for you will be mindfullness training - learning to control your emotions. It will take a while, but eventually getting out of the rage then self-loathing pattern is really the key to victory.

Do you have any problems with self-identity? If I met you randomly on the street and asked you to tell me about yourself, would you feel comfortable telling me the answer? I only ask this because that is one of the biggest hallmarks of BPD - and my wife is working on establishing her own identity, not just mirroring me anymore.

>>741171190
Been doing CBT for years and I've gotten nowhere. I rationalise and think logically about my stress when I'm in a stressful situation and I told myself there's no reason to be scared but it's automatic and I can't stop it even when I know nothing is wrong. It's disgusting being so aware and so helpless.
"Do things and you'll be better" NIGGA IF I COULD DO THINGS I WOULDNT HAVE A PROBLEM Hahahahaha shit.

242pm haven't gotten out of bed or eaten. Have had to pee for 2 hrs. Meh.

>>741170821
It's pretty easy to tell when someone is actually bipolar. They'll constantly be switching from a manic phase and having a shitload of huge ideas, a normal phase where they seem like themselves, and a depressed phase where they talk a lot about regrets and death.

Switches last anywhere from a few days to a few months.

>>741171097
do you try and cycle it at all? Do you have any concerns about building up a tolerance?

I know I have an addictive personality, so I cycle everything, even caffeine.

>>741171332
Ok I'll always look for that pic. I'm not not bi...i guess I'm bi. Never been in a relationship with a female but I've had sex with them and I would be in a relationship with one if I liked one so yeah I reckon. Lol.

>>741171420
Could you post a pic of what you get or a pic from online of something similar to what you get?

>>741171420
The best part about this kratom stuff is it seems the more you take it the less you need to take it later on. Its Not something that makes you crash of u don't take it . its a relative of the coffee plant

>>741165371
Borderline personality disorder?
Seems accurate.

>>741168188
yeah I'm bpd and went down that route. Don't.

>>741171427

I'm lucky - because she's high functioning she has never exhibited impulsive or self-destructive behaviors. She's really good with responsibility and money as well, two things that are typically a struggle for pwBPD. I am constantly on the lookout for any huge swing in personality or behavior, but one of her core elements is to stay away from impulsive behaviors. I think she's got some quiet BPD symptoms that prevent her for ever acting out.

>>741171513
I wouldn't feel comfortable. I feel like I only do and say things that I'm supposed to so I don't step on anyone's toes.

When I hang out with people, I have a hard time finding things they say genuinely funny. I fake laugh so much it makes my cheeks hurt sometimes.

I think I have an idea of my real identity, but it only comes out when I'm really comfortable which is rare

>>741171758
Yeah you still alive. You fucked up. What you doing now to treat?

>>741171659
Same here never in a relationship, just love sex.and the different way it feels with another female. You understsnd, well snyway any thread with femanon look for me. Heading out to grocery shop ughh hate it .

>>741171527
I'm sorry :(

Do you have anyone in your life that's willing to be an accountability partner? Like someone to just tell you to get the fuck out of bed? If you can find someone to force you to get into routines, that might help a little bit. my grandmother is BP, like really bad- but being an old fashioned housewife all her life- she obsessively wakes up and cleans her house early in the morning every day. It's her routine to cope.

>>741171772

Have you ever opened up with someone and connected on an emotional level? I.e. have you ever shown someone your true self? Part of the idea of self is that you know who that is. Perhaps you could spend some time letting someone you trust into see the 'real' you. You might be surprised at their willingness to accept you for who you are.

>>741171949
Ew shopping. Have fun!

>>741171770
Yeah, you are lucky.

You're a saint for sticking it out for so long, I sincerely hope things improve for you two.

>>741172060
Lol thanks, until we meet on here again

>>741171979
I'm always with my mother but she understand how I feel pretty well so...
She is BP and I'm BPD and we're both bad at routines and we're nomadic and unstable and we're both a mess. So no I guess I don't have an accountability partner. Just a void partner.

>>741171646
I have am addictive personality as well. I started to take it every day in the morning. But now after doing it for a month I skip days and take only when needed. Like b4 I go to work or if I don't have work and am doing something physicly active like skating or something I take some . but it's not something I need or crave or am addicted to. I am just using it as kinda an anti depression and energy boost/ motivatorade .... Also I spent the last 4 year's of my life battling depression with drugs. Sinse Kratom I have stopped using Heroin completely. I went from needle 3 times a day, to OD, to subs , to kratom which have ended my depression and physical ailments . saved by a little herb from Indonesia .

>>741171901
CBD/THC. Been writing a manuscript for 3 years that will be read by billionaire in November (no bs). Trying to be the quintessential bpd read. I've seen some shit my dude

>>741172098

Thank you I really appreciate it. I'm not here to derail OP's thread - but I hope that those struggling can realize they're not alone, and there are actually people in this world that can
be supportive and help you get better, if you so choose it. No one should ever suffer alone.

As cliche as it is, nothing in life is easy. Everything takes work to get better. If you want to be the best video game player, or the best athlete, you work daily, hourly, to get better. BPD is the same way..it'll take work but it can be managed, and you can be happy.

>>741172287
I want to know, what's it called how do I find it when it's ready?

>>741172024
I have opened up to my last girlfriend when I was 18 but she saw my problems as a burden and moved on to college and I haven't opened up like that since.

The real me never takes anything seriously and enjoys joking and making people happy, but the me I show to the world is very serious and quiet.

I used to open up when I was in school because I had some close friends, but in classes I didn't have those friends, I was quiet and usually just sleeping. People would get to know me as quiet and then see me with my friends and would be surprised how differently I was acting.

>>741172237
I need this. Pic of product?

>>741172340
"Consumers", although just showing it to this woman may ruin my life forever. Really excited

>>741171636
fortunately for those around me- when I'm in a depressive state, I just keep it to myself. I'll used to go secretly(from my gf) drink at random dive bars, get super drunk and occasionally fuck someone all the while hating myself for doing it.

Motorcycle has changed my life bc now I just go riding instead of drinking and do wheelies for my feelies.

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>>741171707
It looks like powdered green tea

I'm making note of this. Thanks!
>>741172421

>>741172398

I'm sorry for that anon. Please don't let that deter you from trying again one day in the future.

>>741172237
congrats on your sobriety- that's amazing to hear.

My brother started doing kratom- but he continued doing all the other random drugs that are frying his brain :(

>>741172404

>>741172537
How do you take it? In water?

>>741172555
Trips never lie, hot damn

loosen up have a drink

Just to clarify, are we talking about borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder? BPD is often used for both...

>>741172297
>>741172297
You aren't derailing my thread man, and it's people like you that keep me going. You make the world seem like it's not completely full of psychotic assholes

>>741172576
Thanks man and I'll try

>>741165617
>implying all mental disorders are fake.

>>741172162
People can tell you what to do to fix your problems until they're blue in the face- but I understand how it is- you just can't bring yourself to do anything. If you have anyone that cares about you and is capable, don't be afraid to ask for help. Even if it means finding a support group or something or a penpal or someone to talk to. I genuinely hope your situation improves.

>>741172881
Thank you so much. I'm hanging on.

>>741173010
Thanks so much. And congrats on the heroin thing. That's fuckin amazing.

>>741172599
Thanks bro. I wish your brother well tho. To be honest I have had this kratom sitting around for almost a year and a half. I had it when I was using but never did it because well it doesnt get u high. It takes away all widthdrawl symptoms tho so your bro probably uses it only when he has to if he is in withdraw. That's why I had it. But after using it like I have been I just feel better that I'm not taking subox or methadone . that shit makes u stay an addict. I wanted to do my own thing and I found What worked for me and would like to spread the word a little.

>>741172763
I apologise for talking about the kratom bro I'm not trying to jump on ur toes

>>741171097
>Picked up the skateboard again at age 30
Not a good sign of anything, really.

>>741173493
You're not, /b/ro.

Do ya thing, homie

Been meaning to look into kratom myself

>>741172763

Poster of above.

Look, I wish you the absolute best of luck. You can get better if you choose to, and I hope you do. I know this is a huge, daunting task hanging over your head, but others have done it, and so can you. Start small, focus on just making any singular aspect of your life better. Repeat daily, weekly, monthly and you will climb out of this hole.

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>>741165371
Talk to your regular health care provider, a psychologist or therapist, and a psychiatrist. Oh, and try getting yourself a QT psychiatric nurse.

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>>741172881
This is good advice

Also a great laugh helps from time 2 time

>>741171097
>>741165371

I SECOND THIS.
I have been having a very bad week, but I have remained happy overall. I started using kratom last friday and I was going to suggest this.

Kratom is incredible. It can help with depression. Do research on the different strains. There is white, red and green. I forget which is which but I think that white is stimulating and mood-elevating and the red is more relaxing.

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>>741173613
Lmfao.... Its more exercise... I couldnt get out of bed for close to a year from depression and dope sickness. But... Besides skateboarding I work hard 8 hours a day doing cuntstruction. Make money and skateboard got own place and a car ... Kratom works

>>741173667
Thanks and you keep being awesome

>>741173896
That's what I mean tho. Even when I have a bad day or even a week. Is as if it gives u the feeling that u made it thru it just fine and these are just normal daily struggles that everyone has to deal with.

>>741165371
Good Luck to you B/RO. Try a little kratom. If not your thing make a schedule keep to it and make daily goals for yourself to lift your spirits. As cheesy as it sounds it starts to work as you start achieving your daily and weekly goals. Before you know it you will be flooding your own brain with natural and I might add satisfying endorphin s