pls help >living at parents house >want to buy dildo from

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get it delivered to the post office instead of house
retard
also are you a guy or girl you fag

Amazon offers a locker service where you can get the package shipped there instead of your main mailbox. These lockers are everywhere in cities and yes, Amazon does sell Bad Dragon toys.

>>740515656
closest post office is about an hour away and parents dont trust me with car anymore

>>740515953
i'll check it out hopefully theres one thats close

>>740516070
Please don't tell me you crashed their car while jerking off to weird animal dicks...

>>740515524
Have it addressed to you. What, do your parents open your mail?

>>740516148
i crashed the car when i was rushing to get home when i was hanging out with a friend after "curfew"

>>740516277
they'll more than likely ask questions. "oh anon what did you get? it was a big package"

>>740515524
Kill yourself

>>740516277
yes i didnt really know about it until my dad had opened a package that I had shipped home while I was on a trip

>>740516379
another reason why I cant have my parents even know I got a package. they'll bug me until i tell them or until they can open it themselves

>>740516380
already tried, my friend

>>740515524
If you are living at home, no car, no real privacy, i think you have more important priorities to sort out than sticking fake animal dicks in presumably your asshole.

I remember ordering an entire bumper for my truck off Amazon. My dad picked it up from the post office and the box was longer than his 8 foot truck bed. The postal workers knew me by name after that.

>>740515524
>buy dragon dong
>use it in front of them
>tell them you are a raging faggot who wants to fuck animals
>murder them in their sleep
You just won yourself a house

>>740516558
it's a hell that im dealing with. im looking at other places to stay currently

>>740516558
>in presumably your asshole
I'm going to derail this thread now. Replace one word in a movie title with "in presumably your asshole".

I'll go first.

Pulp in presumably your asshole

>>740516663
top kek

>>740516663
i'll keep that idea in mind

>>740516839
This game is old and stale. Think of a new one

Also OP: quit being a faggot - instead of spending that money on a BD toy, save for a place of your own or a car. You know it's the better decision

>>740516839
The shawshank in presumably your asshole

>>740516917
Bonus points if you murder them with the dragon dong

>>740515524
Track the package and be there before your parents, by simply knowing the average times of delivery for mail at your place and keeping an eye on the packages transit. Why are your parents opening packages not addressed to them? That's actually illegal assuming you're actually an adult. I bought numerous sex toys while I lived with my mom and I simply arranged it so I was always at the mailbox first on that day, and if she asked what it was I'd just lie about it.

>>740517035
already have money for an apt and have a bike for temp. transportation. i thank you for your concern but that's not the current topic here

>>740517035
I made the mistake of buying a bad dragon toy instead of moving out. I sort of regret it, since it doesn't feel like a real dog, and now my own house is slightly further away as a life goal.

But get your own place. Then you can get a dog. And you can take its dick in your holes whenever you want.

>>740517072
Star Trek: Into in presumably your asshole

>>740517263
Still unsure about genders here.

>>740517147
the problem is my mom has recently stopped going to work and staying home. her and my dad run a sorta "mom and pop' shop so it seems like theres no downside to not going to work.

>>740517246
Then why don't you just wait to order it?

>>740517282
Drag me to in presumably your asshole

>>740517263
>bad life choices

Also,
The Hobbit: An Unexpected in presumably your asshole

>>740517512
i havent found an apt yet I'm just saying that I have enough money saved for rent should the time arise

Breakin' 2: Electric in presumably your asshole

>>740515524

If you get it delivered UPS, you can have it sent to one of their Access Points, which can be like some rinky dink shipping business. You have to set up a UPS account, then have the dragon dildo seller ship it to your address. When UPS detects in their system that you have a package on the way to your address with your name on it, it'll pop up in your UPS account. Then you can select to have it delivered to an access point instead.

>>740517942
Men in in presumably your asshole

Schindler's in presumably your asshole

>>740517970
i'm looking at one thats close to where I live and im reading reviews of people getting their shit stolen so that idea is a maybe

>>740517427
i'm a guy. rather than buying a dog dick like OP, i bought a dog vagina.

it doesn't feel like a real dog vagina sadly. but it's still fun to play with

>>740515524
Because your name will be on the package and your parents should respect your privacy.

>>740518349
how do you know how a dog vagina is? (i know im going to regret asking this)

>>740518482
like I said before my dad doesnt seem to care. I've even told him what I bought and without telling me he goes through the package

move you fucking NEET

>>740518107
I love how clunky this is.

Ernest Scared in presumably your asshole

>>740518593
Living like that would explain why you want a dog dick in presumably your asshole.

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>>740518349
>i bought a dog vagina

>>740518274
No one is going to steal a bad dragon dildo

>>740515524
You could get a job and move out you sick fuck

>>740519085
but i have a job, friend

>>740516663
This made my night

>>740519055
tru

If I were your parents I wouldn't want that shit in my house, and if I found out it was yours I'd whup your ass. Stop being such a degenerate faggot, our stop living with your parents. Spare them the disappointment of your perversion.

>>740517263
Get a pitbull, they're all the rage apparently.

>>740519196
Or stop treating children like property

>>740519055
I would

>>740519333
It's called "raising children" which is something sadly lacking these days. You are Exhibit A.

>>740519055
>>740519441
well...

>>740519333
Zarathustra, come down from your mountain and show us not how to get over-man, but how to become men again rather than simply male.

>>740515524
if you have a ups story you can get a mailbox for like 35 bucks a month, cops cant even check it without a warrant and they wont give out ur info without a warrant its in the contract

>>740519640
im not sure if I said it before but I don't have one near me

>>740519473
Raising children has nothing to do with denying them sexual pleasure, even if they have odd preferences. Raising them starrs with respecting them ass human beings, otherwise you push them away and they do fucked up shit unsupervised. It'll only escalate. OP here is exhibit A

>>740519784
is being exhibit A a good thing?

>>740519492
What can I say, I'm a raging faggot.

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>>740519784
>Raising children has nothing to do with denying them sexual pleasure

>>740519734
you can also put a hold on it at the ups depot for like a week

>>740519734
assuming you have a nearby hub tho

>>740519196
>>740519473
retards

>>740520021
yet again, not one close to me

>>740520013
what, you'r not going to let you son masturbate?

>>740520068
the hub that's nearby is the one I was saying people got their shit stolen from

>>740520128
have it shipped usps and get a post office box

>>740515524
how would you buy it
living with your parents? I'm assuming you don't have your own credit card either
people can check their credit card history

>>740519784
Children are impressionable, and this generation is the worst to ever exist.

The media, and the Internet is a degenerate plague.

>>740520246
ups has an insurance policy for packages that arent received pay for signature verification

>>740520323
And yet here you are in the midst of this plague. Intredasting.

>>740518550
well there was this dog. she was giving me bedroom eyes. so i licked her pussy. she was pretty loose, so I stuck my penis inside her.

and that's how i know what dog vagina feels like.

wanna know something else?

it's softer and warmer than human. it's like fucking a marshmallow.

>>740520311
last christmas my grandparents got me one of those visa giftcards. i haven't used the card at all and should be loaded with roughly $200

>>740516070
Are you 10?
You cant drive the car
You cant have a parcel delivered with no questions.
>I think your underage and we shouldnt tell you

Ghost in in presumably your asshole shell

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>>740520443
>it's like fucking a marshmallow
We don't really need to ask if you did that, do we?

Most reputable Adult shops have discrete packaging. Also, just wait until they won't be home one day and pay for express post. That's what I do.

>>740516379
Its something for my pc?
>Want to tear the tower to bits to see my new mlp theme wires...

>>740520502
I've explained myself enough. if you don't believe me then so be it.

Forrest in presumably your asshole

>>740516346
dumbass

>>740516839
Django unchained in presumably your asshole

>>740520552
that's probably the best option. my parents are planning on going on a short trip next Friday. I might be able to fake being sick so I guess that's my time to shine

>>740520770
thank you

>>740517263
Im really trying not to judge but ew

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>>740520443

>>740520523
well you know how a marshmallow feels, presumably? have you eaten one before? imagine it's a really big soft, at a nice body temperature, and you stick your dick inside. except it's not sticky, just very slick.

humans are not nearly as soft. they still good tho

>>740519196
Hes angry i think

>>740516839
Lord of the rings: the two in presumably your ass hole

>make a bunch of letter bombs and address them to yourself
>place one in the mailbox
>either your did is kill and you can do as you please
>OR dad is not kill, continue with one letter bomb at a time until either dad is kill or learns his fucking lesson

>>740520323
Naw dog, the internet is the dankest of places to unmeme the retarded shit society loves. The real degenerates are those that don't socialize, internet or nointernet.

>>740515524
get it delivered to a different name and hope you find it first

>>740516839
War for the Planet of the Apes in presumably in your asshole

if that's all then I'm probably gonna get off soon. it's pretty late and i have shit to do tomorrow

>>740520443
Your disgusting.
I hope you do it again and the dog bites your dick off

>>740520581
Literally this?
Who the fuck wants to see your new nvidya nigplus 2000 sat inside your tower.
>huge packaging for protection
>discreet packaging as to not be stolen cus valuable
Think anon use your brain

>>740521390
Law abiding citizen presumabley in your asshole
London has fallen presumabley in your asshole

This one goes out to OP.


Air Bud in presumably your asshole

>>740521843
Top kek

>>740521911
Totally underated.
>good job anon

>>740516070
your gonna presumably get more then an hour of use out of the fucking thing, just do it. order something else with it, say your buying drugs off silkroad

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Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny in presumably your asshole

Harry Potter and the Chamber presumably in your asshole

>>740523915
>replace one word
>replaces two
faggot

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>>740520663
>IV xplind enough mi mi mi mi

Fuck you then you shithead

>>740515524
Hey I've actually bought from BD before

basically what you do is you make a UPS My Choice account, that way you can have it sent to a UPS store for pickup. You log in and change delivery once you get the notification.

Option B is buy on Amazon, they have a limited selection of toys but you can have it sent to an amazon locker, they're usually in 7/11s.

I assume you go to work or school? Pick it up on your way home and throw it in your backpack.

Get a normal dildo since it's easier to explain if your parents got the package before you

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>>740515524
>literally buy it
>tell them one of your friends is playing a prank and that you'll keep it till you see your friend again to give it back

are you stupid
oh wait your buying a dog cock
nevermind

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AWAKEN

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MY

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MASTERS

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SO

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NO

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CHINO

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SADAME

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOJJJJJJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

>>740515524
buy some rope instead, and neck yourself, loser virgin freako faggot.

>>740515524

Start buying boring things regularly from amazon and/or ebay. For example, you could start buying bags of chips of different flavors from around the world. Then they will look in the first few packages and just give up after a while.

Before you order the dildo, order 2 bags of chips in one box and hide the second bag. When the dildo comes, show them the 2nd bag of chips later and pretend like that's what you got.

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DUWANG

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why god why

>>740520669
i spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how this shit worked, don't really care to know, just think its cool tbh

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>>740518349
>it doesn't feel like a real dog vagina sadly

Just buy 20 of them

When your parents open the package they will just think you're a dildo dealer

Profit

>>740516346
>Old enough to drive
>Curfew
>KYS NIGGER

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BITES ZA DUSTO

>>740515524
Have it sent to general delivery in your zipcode. Pick it up at the post office. Look into it.

>>740516346

>curfew

You have to be 18 to post here.

If you are above 18, you are not subject to any sort of 'curfew' imposed by your parents. They do not own you.