Good evening Anonymous. Things been getting you down? Let's

>>740494215
why havent killed yourseft yet

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I want to freeze to death

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>>740494286
Ah, haven't been able to work myself up to it yet. It takes some nerve, y'know?

>>740494363
Why's that? Sounds like a pretty awful way to go.

>>740494286
because Fenn's one of the coolest motherfucker's you're ever gonna meet. he's just here to be nice, dude.

>>740494538

I don't think so. You just kind of fall asleep and never wake up. This is what I wished for.

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>>740494775
Sometimes I try. Thank you Anon.

>>740494948
Well, that's what I think it'll be like sometimes, but then I remember: dying hurts. It hurts you, and it hurts forever. It hurts the people around you too, however little they care.

To be cold forever, it would be awful. Your mind slows down until it ceases to function, and until that point you know that you're dying, and there's nothing you can do.

I don't want you to die Anon. I want you to be alive and warm, because while you're alive and warm you can keep moving on, you can change yourself and the world around you, and things can get better.

>>740494215
>Things been getting you down? Let's talk about them.
ok. Im mad you're posting downscales.

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>>740494215
>Get whatever's bothering you off your chest
I have one more semester to finish my degree in accounting...I fucking hate accounting.

Luckily no student debt, but kinda at a crossroads. Finish the degree so I always have it, or try and change majors in 3-4 weeks.

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>>740495221

I would very much like to be cold forever. To have everything go away. There's no more change left, not for me.

>>740494215
I'm going to kill myself in less than two weeks and that makes me a bit sad.

>>740494215
I'm pretty upset that my newest love doll came with the most poorly braided wig ever.

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>>740494215
>>740495221
whats the name of the miyazaki film shes from, im having a brain fart

Worried about next year at uni and fucking it up as the degree is better than my previous one.
Also kinda sad that my sister took on an illustration job without asking me if I wanted to do it or shrugging off any kind of help I offer.
And having a bridesmaid's dress fitting tomorrow but I'm a fat fuck and I know I'll look bad in whatever.

However I started swimming this week and have done I believe over 110 lengths over the week as a whole.

>>740495732
im sure u can do better

>>740495806
Nausica.

>>740495806
Naussica/Nausicca.
Forgot the spelling so try both.

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>>740495501
I haven't made an HD folder for him yet, sorry. I've been slacking.
>>740495806
filename.

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>>740495673

>>740494948
Kys faggot

Nothing.
I'm perfect.

>>740494775
Kys faggot

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>date hs gf
>be separated for 2yrs
>maintain long distance
>skype and talk daily
>while away i meet another girl
>new girl relates is like me with vagina
>its fucking me with a vag
>go home for a month
>marry gf thinking i love her
>go back
>start thinking i fucked up
>turns out i did fuck up cuz shes threatens me when i mention divorce
>stuck in a one sided marriage
>shes aware but thinks we can fix it
>i dont want to cuz i dont care about it
Present day
>in a marriage that i dont care for and want out but no money for divorce and state favors women

>>740495673
Kys faggot

>>740495892
Kys fagget

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put your faith in bog and your life will change i guarantee it

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>>740495501
Downscales? I'm sorry, I don't quite follow you.

>>740495567
If you don't think you could hold it together in an accounting job, what would you do with a degree in accounting? If you can make up the credits for a different major, switch to something you think you'll use.

No matter what your major is, you still have the many skills and experiences you've gained over the past three years to get you going in life. That's worth a lot.

>>740495673
Well, what is it that's not going to change?

>>740495725
Why Anon? Do you really need to? Let's talk about this.

>>740495732
Perhaps you could rebraid it nicely for her.

>>740495806
Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Read the manga too.

>>740495808
Good job on the swimming, I've never been able to bring myself to conform to a regular swim schedule. Some people are going to be their own, Anon. You can't always affect that, sometimes you just need to accept it.

>>740495956
Hmmm. Are you absolutely certain you can't salvage this relationship and bring yourself to love her?

>>740494286
say it right, faggot

>>740495962
Hi Anon. I see you called someone a "faggot" I'm assuming you meant this jokingly, but I've been mulling this over in my head for several minutes and it does not sit right.

Let me please (re)iterate you on this word. Not only does it aim hatred at a large group of people that I myself and many of my friends are a part of, the word has the power to tear down and undermine a fight that we have been fighting for decades. I don't know where you stand on the issue, but I'm assuming you value your rights to equality as a citizen of this country.

You may think that this is only a word, a mere configuration of letters, but this word is the foundation that keeps LGBT people held in the depths of inequality, while men like yourself toss around hateful slurs in a joking way thinking immaturely that you are immune to hurting anyone. This is not true. Next time you throw this word out (however jokingly and privately you may thing you are using this- in this era NOTHING is ever private), think about those who have struggled for the right to feel safe in their own country.

The word "faggot" creates a hostile environment and makes many LGBT people feel unsafe around those who have enough power in society to use such words. Don't make me feel unsafe. I have a right to my safety. And although I have tremendous pride in being a mature, strong, bisexual woman, it really sucks when your words get in the way of my pride. Thanks for your attention.

Just another version of: https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Alice_Margatroid

sage, hide, etc.

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>>740495962
Pch(yoooou)
>>740495998
Pch(you)!
>>740495938
Ch(you)!
>>740495905
Pchy(you)!

Want to talk about how pointless existence is, anon?

>>740496124
Stale pasta
Kys fagget

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>>740496221
AAAHHHHHHH i just finished the first season and am half way through the next of black lagoon its fucking sick
>pick kinda related

>>740496412
BL is tragically underrated
I just want more manga made for it damn it

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>>740496221
evening, Rev. doing okay?

>>740496063
Thank you! I've been going swimming with my friend, so she's been a really great supporter and I'm glad that I've been pushing myself. Unfortunately we only go 3 nights a week but I'm hoping we go more times!
It's also helping me become more healthy and feel better about myself!

And you're right. I feel that I should be able to affect it, but I guess that isn't a good thing to do..

>>740496221
Sure tell me
Why are you such a pathetic whiteknight?

>>740496506
Great, actually. Spent all day fishing.

>>740494215
I look back on my life up until this point and it's incredibly disappointing.

When I look at myself and notice that I was born into White middle class America, I wonder why I'm not going to an Ivy league school right now.

Don't lie to me, I know if I worked hard enough in school, I could have been successful. I was in the top 7% of my class. I had a 3.8 GPA.

Instead I'm 19 and going to community college. I'm majoring in LAN Network Administration. GPA of 3.6.

I'm lost and I should have a stunning portfolio of programming projects and systems that I built up from scratch.

Instead, the most noteworthy thing I've done is install Arch linux and modify a simple HTTP proxy to be less error prone.

I'm incredibly mediocre.

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>>740496221
Here, have one of my favorites.

>>740496509
3 nights a week is better than once a month. Don't push yourself too hard, make sure you rest and eat well between workouts. A regular routine will get you on your feet fast, both physically and emotionally. Good job!

You can't control everyone, and it's unhealthy to try. But I see where you're coming from, and I struggle to keep myself from doing it too.

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>>740494215
Stop Waifufagging my Waifu you piece of shit

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>>740496531
Well, I am not a whiteknight. I come into threads to stir shit up with people like you, because ultimately we are both here for the same reasons. We want to maintain the order here. /b/ is not allowed to exist without blind contrarians.
Now I don't like waifuthreads or any "in" culture in an advice thread. I think it is counter to their purpose.. but shit like this? It's just convo. You want to help me spam the wwyd and cuck threads? They are way worse.

>>740496667
I just read my own post and hey looking back I'm not that bad. I still suck tho. IDK what to feel.

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>>740496509
I mean, I dunno about swimming, but a lot of running and lifting programs are 3 nights/week to give muscles time to recover
>>740496564
sounds like a great time, honestly.
>>740496667
there's a reason it's called "average." because most people are this way, hon. sucks to feel like you could have done better, but the only thing to do now is push yourself to higher goals.

>>740494215
i'm only drinking water and not eating i'm trying to starve myself to death i cant get a gun

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>>740496063
>one sided marriage here
Thats hard when we seperated for 2yrs. I matured. She stayed stagnate.
-Theres nothing in common between us.
-Shes petty
-close minded individual
-prude ans cant fathom a life without put me
Side note a person that cant live withiut someone isnt healthy.
Overall this relationship is toxic and ive lost all interest and motivation when im primary supporter.
Only upside to her leeching off me is the food and sex.

Which really thinking about it i could just be bored with her since i really wasnt ready to settle down.

>>740496915
what the fuck man you just made me cry. I'm gonna go fucking do something right now. Thank you

>>740496990
people will attach you to a nutrient tube and charge you 16 thousand dollars. It's not worth it, there's too many people that care about you for that to work.

Talk to some homeless people, they always have the best stories.

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>>740496667
Not every white middle class American goes to an ivy league school, Anon. Some can't afford to, some have goals of a different sort. It's not expected, nor is it required to become successful. It looks to me like you're doing pretty good for 19. Keep doing what you're doing, keep building up your skills, and see if you can get started on some personal projects that you can be proud of when you're done.

>>740496739
Can we share?

>>740496990
Starvation is a horrendous way to die. Even without a gun there are far better ways. What's got you down Anon, why don't you want to keep going? Also, what this anon said: >>740497252

He's right.

>>740497077
Do you not love her anymore? Talk to her about it. See if you can find out what she really feels for you, and if she understands how you feel and the toll it's taking on you. If you can't understand each other's feelings there's no way it's going to work, but if you communicate you may be able to turn things around and help her become a better person.

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>>740496990
you shouldn't starve yourself. there's an easy way to lose weight and a right way to lose weight. learn healthy habits rather than self-destructive patterns.
>>740497077
you two just sound unhappy. relationships take work, and it sounds like she isn't willing to put it in, and you don't think she's worth putting the effort in for.
>>740497158
shit, I'm sorry, hon. I hope it all works out in the end.

>>740496915
It really was. Got caught in the rain for a good hour but that made it all the more relaxing.

>>740497252
nobody has visited me for months i live in a single room and my parents divorced and dont speak to me or eachother anymore

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>>740497416
Get out in the world Anon. Talk to someone new, meet as many people as you can until you make a friend. You don't need to go it alone. The world can be intimidating, but if you stand up to it for long enough you'll find someone, and you can make it through this. There are far better solutions than starvation, trust me.

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>too dumb to even kms

ill just live :(

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>>740497334
>Can we share

No nigger the whole point is that she's my obscure high-quality waifu that none of the shitty normie and faggot cancer weebs take, going after their shitty low tier moeshit instead

>>740497346
tears of joy anon! you made me feel better.

>>740497683
If you really eespecred your cool obscure waifu you would allow her to be an independent woman who don't need no single man claiming her

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>>740497416
so, silly question, but appease a drunk. what do you do for fun? games, board games, comic books? woodworking? drawing? you can find a group local, maybe, and if not you can find an online community to try and make friends.
>>740497662
s'okay. me too, anon.
>>740497693
well, I'm glad I could help you just a bit, hon.

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>>740497662
Keep on keeping on, Anon. Things won't get better on their own, but I'm sure you can improve them if you try.

>>740497683
Nausicaa isn't that obscure, is she? I've never thought of her as a waifu though, just used her to identify myself and convey a positive and friendly image. She is pretty awesome.

>>740494215
Let me get this off my chest.

>I started sucking cocks when I was 5.
>Even then when I was sucking cocks I knew it was my destiny.
>Every day suck more and more cock.
>Made a vow that I would suck 1 more cock each day than that of the previous day.
>Eventually I change that vow to be twice that of the previous day.
>Start sucking cock full time.
>Begin researching ways to suck more cock.
>There is simply not enough time in the day to suck all the cock.
>Research starts paying off time travel to suck more cock becomes a reality.
>Start sucking my own cock due to time travel
>Reality begins to unwind due to the sheer amount of cocks sucked
>Begin experiment sucking more than one cock in spacetime
>Quantum cock sucking theory begins
>Quantum cock sucking becomes reality as I suck all cocks simultaneously throughout all time.
>Universe explodes with cock, I am happy
>Everything is cock
>I am OP.

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I apologize, I became distracted.
...I wanted to be a bold person, to be the kind of person I dreamed of, but instead I withered. I have no one to blame for myself.

The truth is, I love the cold. To embrace it, fall into it forever...that would be nice.

>>740497662
You're not dumb, every smart person thinks that they're dumb.

Dumb people are so dumb they don't know or care that they are dumb. They're just dumb.

Smart people, like you, recognize that they might have to work to be better in some areas. That's how we improve anon.

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>>740497683
Get on my level nigger

>>740494215
Really like this girl I work with and she totally knows, but isn't acknowledging it. What should I do?

>>740497959
i spend most of my time on video games but apart from that don't really do anything other than exist

>>740498024
kys faggot

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>>740498011
kek

>>740498011
i want your succ

>>740498024
>The truth is, I love the cold. To embrace it, fall into it forever...that would be nice.

You only love the cold because you're used to it.

Inuit don't notice the cold, and say that the cold is their home.

But you only adopted the cold. You can warm up.

In reality, it's the small things that warm you up.

Kinda like fire, you don't need it around you all the time.

Take a moment to help a stranger in this thread. The help will warm you both up :)

>>740496667
I wish with all my heart I were a white middle class american who goes to a community college. Oh, man, that would be so great.

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buckle up, we goin in

>>740498011
lmao

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>>740498024
But this is not the end Anon, this is a step in the process. You aren't where you want to be yet. If all your problems are caused by you, then you have the power to fix them. If you really want to become a better person, you'll need to work for it. It's hard, but it's not impossible. You're not a lost cause, Anon.

>>740498098
Ask her to grab coffee or lunch with you, and talk about it.

>>740498168
If you want to be something more, do more. Try something new, try drawing or painting. Buy a cheap drone (you can get a decent enough one for practice under $200) and start flying in the park every afternoon. Buy some spices and see if you can come up with some good combinations, make food more interesting. There's so much you can do Anon, you've just got to do it.

>>740498168
>i spend most of my time on video games but apart from that don't really do anything other than exist

Well go to the park and find some people playing frisbee or soccer or whatever.

Ask if you can join. They will say yes (frisbee 200% guaranteed, they're some of the most friendly people ever)

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>>740498400
Bell, could you do 'em slowly this time? I like how this one's going.

>>740498204
Anon, why do you spend so much time dwelling on something you dislike? If you want to be an agent of chaos at least get creative. There are so many ways to ruin someone's day

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I'm gonna bolt no,w honestly, I'm way too drunk for this tonight. don't tell Reisen on me, Fen

>>740498370
actually most of my class is muslim but I appreciate the jealousy. It makes me feel better about my situation.

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>>740498497
No worries, I won't talk. Take care Jill, have a nice evening.

>>740498439
you know what, fuck it. im gonna sort my life out

kermit come spam this thread too pls

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>>740497334
I have tried.
She dragged me to 6, 2hr counseling session together
She pushed me to see a therapist who prescribed me antidepressants bc of the depressipn i got from the relationship and lack of sleep from stress and vivid nightmares of her being a monster.
She loves me but i have tried to reciprocate those feelings but thats me lying to her.
We do exercise communication and my effort in that is being brutally honest. She gets upset over my unfiltered thoughts.
Either way im distant and very to myself. I enjoy talking to people but not with her since it mainly arguments. In her eyes i don't respect the marriage. And really i dont want it in the first place. I like being alone and meeting other women. Im happier away from her and whem shes not home than when she is around. She tries hard and i appreciate her but not homestly it wont change how i want to be free from the shackles of marriage and away from the warden.
>Basically ive moved on but she cant let go

>>740498482
kys faggot

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WrkyT-6ivjc

>>740498464
depends on what pops up between posts

>>740498681
I don't want to anymore.
Why do you continue to live, anon? What makes existence compelling to you?

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>>740498298

No, there's no sense in denying it. I am a creature of the cold and the darkness. For better or worse, that's who I am.

>>740498382

I inhabit a mortal body, one that is breaking down even as we speak, and limits what I can do. I can, I will, move forward, but there's always the chance I was just a little...too slow.

>>740498748
someone must tell faggots to kys

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hello

>>740494215
thanks man, i appreciate your etiquette.

not much has gone on lately, i haven't been particularly sad or happy about anything. but it tends to lean on the more positive side.

but that's my problem. i speak to as little people as i can. i rarely leave my house. i'm starting to gain weight and i'm just sitting around on my fat ass listening to death grips and playing tf2.

do you have any advice for me?

>>740498382
Thanks for the advice. She's perfect. I'll probably just go for broke

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>>740498925
I can respect that.
I'm glad these threads give your life meaning, anon. Nobody can say they're entirely useless cancer!

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>>740499009
buckle up, quit playing the shit hat simulator, and find something to do. go and look around at antique stores for cool trinkets, just go explore in general

you dont have to talk to people, talking is overrated anyways

>>740497850
Hm. True, true.

>>740497968
>Nausicaa isn't that obscure, is she?
She is
> I've never thought of her as a waifu though, just used her to identify myself
Yes, she's my waifu, but I do something to that similar as well. Really a sort of standard to hold your own self up to

>>740498069
>Edgy tooty mcshooty kill all males because GIRL POWER

Please, no redeeming factors in her.
Nausicaa on the other hand can handle her guns, and other weaponry, and have some class and nobility.

Fuck outta here with that Black Lagoon shit

>>740499142
This nigga gets it

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>>740499009
I have been stuck playing TF@ also.

I suggest trying to make something, art or a story even if you think your not good at it. Even just start off small.

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>>740494215
A Saturday Thread! What a great idea, op!
Nice to see you!

Girlfriend left me for no reason tried to ask why but she just avoids the question. Can't talk to any girls without being reminded of her life sucks

>>740499185
you know nothing about this character based on your little run down
>revy doesnt really care for women over men. Bitches and assholes, all the same
>proficient in many weapons
>only hurts men sadistically because of past abuse, hurts plenty of women too
Watch the anime. Nausicaa was a good movie but Revy is actually human.

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>>740498604
I'm proud, Anon. You'll do good.

>>740498632
I don't think it's kermit, buddy. It's someone else.

>>740498635
You tried. It looks like you tried really hard, too. But it's not working. I'm not sure how you can get out of this... legally are you allowed to move out? It seems unhealthy to allow this to continue. I'm sorry it's come to this Anon.

>>740498691
Alright. Thanks. You bring a smile to my face every thread.

>>740498801
Why not try, though? Why not try to warm up some, to change things? You can. Nothing will stop you from trying.

>>740498983
Hello! Made much progress lately? How's the real world been treating you?

>>740499009
Get outside once a day, for any reason. Take a walk around the park, buy a drink at a bar, poke around in the library, anything. Talk to one person each time, it can be anyone. Doesn't matter if they're the same every day. Smile, be friendly, help out if you see an opportunity. Do it enough and it'll become second nature, and the friends will come.

>>740499018
Good luck. I hope it goes well.

>>740499185
Yeah, and an imperfect one. Honestly, I feel more like Kushana sometimes... Nausicaa can be a little too idealistic and self-righteous. But what a standard. What a character to look up to. She's pretty awesome.

>>740499310
Evening Mantis. Good to see you too. How's the weather been where you're at?

>>740499368
With enough time you'll forget her, Anon. You may never get the closure you want, and that makes it hard. But you need to move on. She can't be everything to you anymore.

I don't leave my house and get no face to face social interaction outside of work, and i dislike all of my coworkers. I'm miserable in my position in life but i don't see a way out. I rexently moved back to my hometown so i could be with my highschool friends, but I'm starting to remember why i left. I guess the long and short of it is: i don't know who or where i want to be, but everytime i try something new i end up miserable and I'm starting to think it'll be this way forever.

I start college in a month.
I don't find partying, drugs or casual sex fun.
I'm super involved in school to compensate
People think I'm no fun.
I've never had a boyfriend.
My first kiss was when I was 9 with my cousin.
The cousin I kissed and another cousin both have kids and are working toward GEDs.
I'm secretly a bit jealous at the fact that they are actually in relationships.
I decided to lose weight.
I feel like by losing the weight I will get rid of my depression.
But I realized that food was blocking a lot of the feelings I didn't want to face.
I joined a dating site.
My family cracked enough jokes that now I'm only there to bring up my self esteem.
im an asshole who's eggs will shrivel up if my brain doesn't shut down first.

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>>740499427
i give a mediocre try every now and then

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>>740499368
it's gonna suck, and it's gonna keep sucking every day. it'll hurt for a long time. but then, one day, she won't e as prominent in your mind, and she'll fade to the background. you can't force it to happen, but the wounds till begin to feel a bit better over time.

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>>740499470
just get through college, get a useful degree, and see what happens then

shit might suck, but dont just shut down and be a weight on the rest

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>>740499403
>Nausicaa was a good movie but Revy is actually human.
b8
>revy doesnt really care for women over men. Bitches and assholes, all the same
edgy
>proficient in many weapons
is she a proficient pilot and swordsman as well?
>only hurts men sadistically because of past abuse, hurts plenty of women too

>"CRAWWWLING IN MY SKIIIIN, THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEALLL"

Tough shit my waifu lives in a post-apocalypse land where the air you breathe in most places kills you, and has a small kingdom she leads that is constantly prized from larger more powerful empires, and has lost her father right before her eyes, as well as losing her mother.

Her values are of Morals, Leadership, and Honor, where as your shit waifu's are of Greed, Killing, and Trying to fill the void of "muh past abuse"

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>>740499368
People are like that. Hell my ex if you can even say that kept ignoring me and dragging it on forever and when I asked whats up she said its over. I later learned she pulled that same garbage again with another friend.

>>740499427
Writing out details for the tropics and drafting up potential species and races. I accidentally jumped ahead a step in creating how the primitive society's are going to spread so thats on hold. As for life not much has changed other then my mother getting me couple of books, one a bunch of short horror stories and a book about WW2.

>>740499470
Dont worry. Most of us never had a real relationship. I hate partys also.

>>740499461
This too shall pass. You will find something you are passionate about. And you will find people who share this passion.

>>740499671
Thanks this is actual advice I can use.

>>740499839
AYYYY LANDSCAPE BUD I LOVE YOU

>>740494215
Thank you for trying to help people. Your warm words already helped me. Stil, there is something i need help with. I can't watch when people get hurt and I'm also afraid to get hurt (both, pysically and psychologically). This makes me look like a giant pussy and when people need help, I am the one who looks away, even when I feel with them. When someone attacks me verbally, it can destroy me sometimes, because i take everything personally. I mean, it also has positive aspects, because i really feel with people and can help them, but as i said, not in those situations where they actually need help...

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>>740499900

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>>740499427
>Yeah, and an imperfect one. Honestly, I feel more like Kushana sometimes... Nausicaa can be a little too idealistic and self-righteous. But what a standard. What a character to look up to. She's pretty awesome.


Where she lacks in flaws, she makes up in her sacrifices.

Also, Kushana def is a more "realistic" character

>Nausicaa can be a little too idealistic and self-righteous
Meh, if you don't want to hold your own personality to a higher standard; to each his own

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>>740499936
Thanks. I find peace looking at and sharing places of the world, both real and from imagination.

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>>740499731
Well, I associate with revy the same way you associate with nausicaa.. just in a different way. Im aware of the faults my past left me with and I allow them to define me to an extent. There's no sense in holding myself up to some idealistic standard when the person i am today is the person that got me through all the shit I had to put up with. I've got some dents and scuffs, but I'm fucking awesome.

Nausicaa was a good leader, but she was too perfect. She didn't have to overcome herself on top of the rest of the world


Peace nigga

>>740499884
Im 26 years old. Shouldn't i know who i am by now?

I've postponed my self-interest since I'm a kid for the well-being of my crazy dysfunctional family. Now I'm 24 and feel life has passed me by. I'm way to depressed to do anything about it so I'm going to kill myself.

>>740499956
The same empathy that makes you good with helping others makes you that much more sensitive to the pain.
That's not a bad thing.

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>>740500116
have my personal favorite

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>>740499461
If you want things to change, you have to change them. It looks to me like you've been trying, but it hasn't been working. What is it about life that's getting you down? Search for the real source of the problem, and attack it directly.

>>740499470
Keep pushing on, keep working at it. Getting a good education is worth something, but so are relationships at this stage in your life. At some point you're going to have to face your feelings Anon. Don't let them build up too far. Sometimes you just need to let them out.

>>740499520
No, you're pretty consistent. Thank you.

>>740499839
Sounds like things are going pretty good. Keep it up, I look forward to the next major development.

>>740499956
If you want to get over it, you need to try. It's difficult, but with practice you can force yourself to overcome your fear of injury. You can learn to let insults roll off your back. Don't feel as though what you are now is what you'll always be. You can change.

>>740500015
I still like her enough to use her as an avatar. There's a lot going on in both of them, Kushana and Nausicaa. They complement each other, I think.

>>740500135
Find a new purpose, Anon. Find something to love. It can be anything, helping poor people, a pet, a friend, a game, but find a purpose. Loving something is worth it.

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>>740500120
There's no rule about that.
People learn about themselves in their own good time.

>>740500348
kys

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>>740500120
You have to invent yourself. If you keep waiting to discover who you have become, you can only find the product of an environment.

There is a space between stimulus and response, called choice. It is a very small space, but every day you can carve it out a little more and become the person that is the most you.

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>>740499427

What's wrong with being cold, though? Don't we need that kind of person, as well?

>>740500015
Bruh thank you so much for what u do fenn, you are cooler than the character probably.

Anyways I'm about to move to a new city at 23 idk how to make new friends I'm a lonely wreck any tips for a sad guy like me when I move?

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>>740500120
Nobody ever will know themselves fully. People are always changing even in the slightest. And don't feel bad about it. As long as you keep up with yourself it will be all good.

>>740500185
Thanks

>>740500348
In a few days I might be able to go into some details with my project. Some small things are starting to settle.

>>740500348
>Find a new purpose, Anon. Find something to love. It can be anything, helping poor people, a pet, a friend, a game, but find a purpose. Loving something is worth it.

It's not that I don't love life. I do and I don't want to die, but I just don't have the strength to live anymore. I've done my best but I'm at the end of the rope anyway.

>>740496667
>Instead I'm 19 and going to community college. I'm majoring in LAN Network Administration. GPA of 3.6.

not a bad position to be in. if you work really hard, you might get to be a burnt out PhD student at your local university

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>>740500687
i would post my 2 really good ones, but they be 4.5mb and 8mb each

why do i have a shitty personality?
money? yes
looks? yes
interesting, maybe?

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>>740499427
Ayy nah its alright.
at the point where if i leave she will be out in the streets. With nothing.
Hence the
>arguments
>the threats to take everything from me
>her view of entitlements
>obligations and expectations that really make a person WANT TO LEAVE THEM IN THE FIRST PLACE

Either way ive learned marraige ismt really for me. Im selfish. Marriage has brought nothing but ruin to "us" in my eyes. 2yrs apart man i changed. I cant be the person she met back then.
Also foreveryone here. Not just OP

Marriage really isn't needed. You dont need a legally binding contract.
A piece of paper that states hey i love her/him. Once in a marriage theres expectations and obligations (E&O) that wernt there before and now you question yourself. Are you there bc of those EnO or bc u want to be there. Id rather have the latter and leave when its time to move on. For anyone else reading this food for thought.
OP thanks for listening

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>>740500689
Then have yourself checked by a medical doctor. This might just be as simple as an undiagnosed condition that affects your moods.

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>>740500000

>>740500950
Nice get

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>>740500689
Start off small. Always start small and watch it grow like a tree.

>>740500781
damn those /b/ size limits. I get most of my landscapes from the wallpaper board anyway.

>>740500837
Being self aware is the first step.

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Thought I'd be 'happy' with this new job, but I find myself wanting to die even more. I might not even make it to the 5-year mark I had set myself for an eventual suicide.

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>>740501047
http://i.imgur.com/LvfyJ8e.jpg

>>740500348
>>740500374
>>740500566
>>740500687
Thanks. That actually makes me feel a lot better. I guess I just need to be less afraid to be my own self in front of the world, and i need to invest in myself. Get better at the stuff i care about and quit wasting time on the stuff other people care about that i don't. Trying to impress people like that is wrong, huh?

I've been doing well these past few weeks /b/. Aside from an injury at work things have been going pretty smooth.
The podiatrist seems hopeful that the genetic defect in my feet is going to be fairly easy to treat, so that won't cause me too much angst.
I've recently completed one of my major goals in an MMO i play and that was a surge of pride, regardless of outright losing to a lower level, lower gear player thanks to balancing issues
And finally i've got a date tomorrow, it's the first one i've been on in ages

>so why am I still empty?

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>>740500595
Do we? I don't think that having a cold unhappy person is absolutely necessary. And it doesn't seem like it's doing you any good.

>>740500655
Meet as many people as you can, be open and friendly with them. Making friends early will serve you well.

>>740500687
That's good. Keep it up!

>>740500689
Perhaps you love life, but what is there in life to love? What is there for you? Perhaps you need to find that thing and hold more closely to it.

>>740500837
Personalities can be changed. If you don't like it, you can adjust your behavior until you're more kind and friendly.

>>740500880
Hmm. Looks like in order to get away you're going to need to set her up to survive somehow. I wish I could do more for you Anon, but I'm at the limit of my experience here, and don't have anything more to say.

Best of luck.

>>740501132
What is it, and why has it got you down? Is the work too much? If you need to take a break to sort yourself out and decide if it will work, perhaps you can apply for one.

>>740501236
Yes! You're absolutely right Anon, do all those things. You're on the right track, and you'll go far thinking this way. Good luck!

>>740501333
It looks like things are going in your direction. Embrace them! Take a moment to sit down with no distractions, and think to yourself in silence about how good things are getting. You need to accept them and understand that they're good in order to enjoy them fully.

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>>740501132
One day at a time, anon.
What job is this?

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>>740501459
Almost there to my flag

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>>740501519
what flag

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>>740501484
Freight-work. The job itself is fine, but I just feel so empty inside, and can't find joy in practically anything anymore.

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>>740501162
Nice. I also have some pictures with people but I find myself sharing the ones with just nature in it.

>>740501236
No problem

>>740501333
Well you said you felt pride so your not empty yet. Maybe raise your goal standards for a challenge.

>>740501436
thanks

I sprained my ankle playing football earlier today. But I got the touchdown, and that's what counts.

>>740501598
Do you cycle between this empty feeling, to a hyper euphoric/aggressive state?

>>740500595
>>740500118
>>740499310
kys faggets

Just so many brown people around these days anon. Not sure how this gets reversed.

>>740500118
Vocaroo thread when?

>>740501631
its good to train your body to ignore pain.

>>740501631
>>Pain goes away.
>>Chicks dig scars
>>Glory lasts forever.

>>740501631
Sounds like it was an intense game. Watch out for yourself, okay? Play hard, but try to not, uh, destroy your body in the process. That could be bad.

Was it worth it?

>>740501784
I don't know Anon, I don't know... just hang in there.

-Fenn

>>740501788
(When you least expect it. Might so some reqs in the VA thread up right now in a bit)

>>740501736
At times, but the cycles have become shorter as of late.

>>740501784
The pendulum is swinging. People are getting sick of it also and populist politicians are coming in. We just need to keep our eyes out for people who control things behind the scenes.

>>740501897
It was the game-winning touchdown, so fuck yes it was worth it.

>>740501743
I love you, Anon

>>740501915
I'm a patient, not a doctor, but that sounds like bipolar disorder.

>>740501436
>>740501436
Thanks bro! You are really something I hope I can call 23 the last year I was lonely. You are like the sister i never had or got secretly aroused by thanks lil mama ;)

>>740502208
Forgot to add "which is treatable and manageable"

>>740501964
Impressive. I admire your dedication to the game, Anon.

>>740502255
You don't need to be lonely, Anon. And I'm nobody's little sister.

-Fenn

>>740501614
No, I'm not totally empty, but everything is muted, and feelings are fleeting, quickly replaced by the dull ache of apathy. As for my goals, i don't know where to take things from here. I've been trying to keep each new goal a logical step in my life, but that's gone out the window.
>>740501436
I actually sat down recently and started writing down everything I'd ever done that i could remember as making me feel pride.

It was undeniably short, but it gave me some comfort to read through what I've done.

The pattern of things going well followed by catastrophic distress is so ingrained into who I am, i don't get to enjoy the fruits of my labour because i'm too busy looking for the other foot to fall so to say ... Even when I know it doesn't exist

>>740502539
Winning is all that matters. A favorite coach of mine once said 'There's no shortcut to being mentally tough. Mental toughness is doing what's best for the team, not necessarily best for you."

im a huge fegget

-Fenn

>>740502674
Okay, listing things you're proud of is a good start. I think this is a more seriously problem than you're willing to admit, Anon. Tomorrow I want you to set up an appointment with a therapist to talk about it, I think that would really help you.

Just as there are bad things to dwell on, there are good things to go with them. They can be hard to see, but they are what you need to focus on.

>>740502835
That's pretty hardcore. And it's a very admirable selflessness that the world could use more of... keep doing what you do Anon, it's good.

-Fenn

>>740502674
Everything is muted for me also. Things that should bring me joy just gives me a tingle. That is why I am working on my world building project. Working on something that I have complete control over at any time is helping me. That and exercise to help my body. Sometimes following your own path with spirituality could help.

>>740503057
Thanks. I've always found that football can teach a lot of things, such as teamwork being one of the most valuable and effective things people can do, as well as focusing on the things you're good at, and not trying to do too much at once.

Dirty troll fucks post here hun, run while you can before we eat you and rape you

>>740503242
What a sport. I'm glad you can get so much out of it, that's really good.

>>740503405
Neat. Shouldn't the raping come before the eating though?

-Fenn

>>740503558
what do you do on the discord now anyways

its prophet

>>740503646
I talk and shitpost sometimes. Not so much anymore. The others are watching a movie.

-Fenn

>>740503769
fugg

we have sail ear rape in here, superior

>>740503897
Where? What? Forgive me, I'm a little dense.

-Fenn

>>740504063
can i suck your femenine penor?

-revy

>>740504063
i have a discord with a bunch of cockgobblers known as my friends

shenanigans ahoy

>>740503558
Not trying to brag or anything, I just love football is all.

>i can easily get carried away with it

>>740504204
That's cool.

>>740504240
It's good that you care so much about it, it's good to love something and be able to talk about it. You're not getting carried away, you're fine.

-Fenn

>>740503170
Religion makes me gag after growing up in a pushy Catholic family. I have been going to the gym to try and force some dopamine through my system.
As for a nrw project, i've got too much on my plate as is, ideally i'd find a way to relinquish control for a while but i don't see that happening.
>>740503057
I've been putting off therapy for a while now, it started as a money issue, turned into a laziness issue, became a timing problem. I've put some time into finding a good therapist, but I keep hesitating on pulling the trigger. I tell myself its to help me, but that doesn't make me wanna do stuff.


Emotions and I have a complicated relationship to put it lightly. I have bi polar disorder, clinical depression, and an overactive sense of empathy.

I feel like a collander sometimes. People come in, drop a load of emotions on me, and then i'm left processing them til it all drains back out. Nothing sticks, and the only time there are emotions they're eithef fleeting and unfulfilling, or they're overwhelming and makes it hard to function

CROSSPOST

I've been thinking about a lot of stuff recently and I'm trying to sort some of this shit out, so bare with me here.

I think I am going crazy and I need to kill myself before it gets worse and I become unable to stop myself.

For starters, I was originally saving sex for marriage like everyone says but never does. I'm still saving it and up until recently I never let it get to me.

Recently I've been fighting myself over this. I promised myself that I'd kill myself before I ever let myself and morals go and before I became a different person. However, I'm going to kill myself in 5 years regardless. Originally after realizing this I still stayed strong in that I won't fuck until marriage even knowing that I will kill myself and never marry. Recently something changed and now my mind is allowing and entertaining the idea of just fucking without care for marriage because I will kill myself anyway.

I'm sure my mind is just bullshitting me right now, because when I wake up tomorrow I'm going to come to my senses and look back at how weak and stupid I was for entertaining this.


TL;DR
I AM A FAGGOT

I know you guys aren't going to change my mind or life, but coming to this hivemind sometimes helps to keep my mind stable for a few more years. It's getting worse, but I can still manage.

>>740504956
Talk to your insurance provider, they might cover it. Don't be lazy, this is for your own good. It's important, make time for it. You've found a good therapist, you're halfway there. I'm telling you now, call him in the morning and set up an appointment for next week. Do it because I told you to.

-Fenn

>>740505426
You don't need to kill yourself, that's silly. Suicide is not the solution to going crazy. If your morals define you and you really must hold to them, then do that. But don't drive yourself crazy over it, that's not how morals are supposed to work. You don't need to kill yourself over thinking about things you know you don't want to do.

-Fenn

>>740505910
I'm going to kill myself regardless. That's not the problem, the problem is that the time to do so is coming earlier than it's supposed to.

>>740506287
I don't follow you Anon. Why do you need to kill yourself? Is it really all that bad?

-Fenn

>>740506545
Yes, I want to and I have to. Both are one in the same. Some things can't be changed or fixed.

>>740506866
How will you do it?

-Fenn

>>740505441
They're making it easier and easier to be an introvert these days, i just set up an appt online, they'll call me with a date and time during business hours...
I'm not sure why being told to do it over the internet by a stranger is more helpful than anything I can muster up.

It seems to be a common theme in my life though, I strive to help others, using the excuse of solving others problems to push down my own. It's happened to me a shameful number of times that I was ordered by a friend to do something that would be vital to keeping me alive.

>>740507910
Good job Anon. Look, if this helps you can come back here more often, but don't become dependent on others telling you what to do. I want you to eventually be able to take care of yourself. I sometimes make little lists to keep me on track and getting things done.

...

Why do you think I do what I'm doing now? We're not all that different, you and I.

-Fenn

thanks for helping hit image liomit Bell <# you're a hero
and thanks for a great thread Fenn, saorry I got druink and couldn't help. thanks for being so amazing. I love you.

>>740508501
It was a good thread, thanks Jill. You did help, you helped a lot. Love you too, I'll see you in the next one. <3

>>740501603
And thanks Bell. You made that a lot easier.

-Fenn

>>740508501
wot

who thanks me

>>740508665
whot

No one takes me seriously.

Work is the standard bitch, I want to move out of my folks house but I'm afraid to leave my mother alone to fend for herself since she's disabled and in pain daily while my old man works 2 jobs and is rarely home.

I just want to move forward but I don't want to leave her behind

>>740509702
I'll take you seriously Anon. What's on your mind?

-Fenn

>>740508709
jill is thank
>>740509702
I will <3
>>740509958
so.. you gotta weigh things out, and figure out what you want to do in your life, mostly. do you want yo focus on family in a collective sense, or move in an individualistic ideal?

>>740509983
I don't know where I'm headed. I'm a dreamer.

>>740509958
you can move out of the house, but you can stay close to the area perhaps.and then you'll be able to take care of your mother and enjoy your freedom at the same time.

>>740509958
Well, how is she holding you back? How much do you need to care for her? If she doesn't need too much attention you might be able to move out and stay close. Perhaps you could work out something with your father where he could quit one of his jobs and spend more time with her, and you could start working more to help support them financially.

>>740510307
Well, sounds like you've got some discerning to do if you want to have a purpose in life. Figure out what you want, and get it.

-Fenn

>>740510307
Do you have a passion or something you're good at?

>>740510236
I'd like to be happy, but I don't want to put more strain on the folks. Plus staying with the folks is cheaper but since I cleaned my life up I've got no friends or shit like that, see the standard reject that accidently befriends the "cool" bad kids crowd story.

I'd like to be working towards a family of my own but I don't know if I could leave momma behind. No I don't have a thing for her, no there is no incest stories. Momma was always a bro we'd stay up late at night watching those shitty music videos and I'd listen to her stories and shit of her fucked up youth.

I can't leave my best friend behind man, but I want to live life.

>>740510506
Awesome thread, Fenn!
Glad to see you up there as op!
Goodnight!

Mantis

Copying from my dead thread, hoping it gets seen i reaaly need help

/b/, I really need your help. This place has been a long time comfort when shit got bad for me, but I think I seriously have a problem. My memory is fading and violence is all I think about and even though by all means I should be fine, every person who even slightly bothers me, even indirectly now, makes me want to tear out throats with my teeth. Im scared and I don't know what to do and Im afraid if I dont get help I may not be me at the end of the road. Anything that you feel will help, some advice from similar experience, comforting words, even a joke, anything just please help me be distracted so I dont hurt anyone, thats not who I want to be

Nothing has meaning, I just don't have an objective or a passion, my life won't improve

Because of a rumour back in 99 police raised my house and then I got accused by another student of saying that if I was going to shoot up the school that I'd do him first. Because of this I didn't get to finish high school. I just went and took the GED instead. This bothers me greatly. I never got to finish my education. I have dyscalculia so even though I didn't actually have to study to pass the GED I can't really function at a high enough level to get through college. I think if I had gotten that extra year of help that maybe I wouldn't be such a fucking loser. At 30 I started to date an 18 year old. I'm still with her. Why would I do that to myself? Why did I do that to her. She was practically a kid.

And why did I have to drink so much grapefruit juice before taking my thc pill today. It's been 6 hours and I'm still freaking out.

>>740510948
Welcome.
You are not alone.

>>740510948
I dislike how clinical this sounds, but seek professional help. If your memory is truly fading, and you get angry at the smallest things, you could have some sort of brain injury or other such things.

>>740510506
It's not like I'm making standard min wage slave money, I'm just paying out of pocket for college because I sorta fucked up my free ride awhile back and then kept trying and ended up in 20k in debt over it. Old man won't quit the jobs one is with the state as a firefighter which has decent medical benefits and the other will be his job after he retires. The medical benefits helps out with mommas medicine and procedures.

>>740510313
I think she just enjoys having someone around all the time. She started "working" or operating under a squirell rehaber and tales care of squirells. I think she does it because she still wants something to need her like we did as childrens.

>>740511048
What do you enjoy doing? Anything, i.e. playing vidya, listening to some type of music, watching movies, etc. etc.

>>740511066
Why, exactly, do you think you are a loser?
I don't see it in your post.

>>740511066
Raided. I also technically have dyslexia. If you have one you're more likely to have the other.

>>740511156
I agree with this
>>740510948
I hate to say it but seek out some pros, but I wouldn't go overboard or embellish about the thoughts of violence you have. You can only keep yourself in check for so long and it'd be better to have assistance doing it sooner than later.

>>740495673
You. What's your contact information?

>>740510948
Seems you're quite easily irritated, this happens to a lot of people, so you're not alone.
It's often an effect caused by something else.
You could see a psych, or take medication to reduce that, but of course antidepressants can cause longterm problems. It's also possible that the Psych may not help at all.

>>740510506
Fenn, you're a truly kindhearted person and I enjoy these threads very much.

Also thanks for listening to me gush about football.

Do me a favor and get a good night's sleep tonight, will ya?

>>740511312
I didn't finish high school and I never got through college. I just have a GED. In my family that makes me a giant loser. My brother makes it to the second round of tryouts for jeopardy every year. If he didn't look like a hipster Mr Rogers with autism he'd have made a lot of money. I can't even calculate my taxes by myself

>>740511250
Vidya, movies and all kind of music really