Listen up, I don't want that summer shit in here. Quality

>>740297106
I don't understand, what is the joke¿

>>740298293
its tumblr tear normie memes

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>>740298293
It's mean the wall just went 10 feet higher, Paco.

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Why'd you screen cap my shit

>>740299667
This is both funny and infuriating at the same time.

>>740300000
What was the get?

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>>740299921
why aren't you seeking medical attention

>>740295377
I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ANON

>>740299921
Why are you dying, faggot?

>>740297106
Actually he would've been stuck in Africa if black people hadn't kidnapped their own people and sold them into slavery to the whites.

>>740300122

Getted the get

>>740299921
You got C.diff anon?

>>740299921
that fire guacamole?

>>740299921
But realy, how can I make shit green like this?? Looks kawaii to mee~

>>740296115
This is the hardest I've laughed on 4chan

>>740300687
From experience. A shit ton of pickles and pickle juice

>>740296115
10/10

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>>740300984
lost

>>740300907
Thanks! I love green colour! I love the idea of green shit.

>>740296115
Lost

>>740300907
image.jpg

kek

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>>740295377
>filename

lost beyond compare

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>>740300739
that was pretty clever. kekked hard.

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>>740301375
>Don't ignore me you rancid swine

dead

>>740300385
What percentage of slaves do you think got here that way? Hint, it's not a majority

>>740301375
AUTISM
U
T
I
S
M

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>>740301300
If they post without shit it's not me

>>740301499
It is, nigger. Nigs exchanged other nigs for food and other goods, most boats were commercial, not army like

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>>740300687
>finished taking massive green, avocado shit
>oh
>it's kinda cute
>call mom
>mom sees shit
>anon that's so adorable!
>mom calls dad
>dad rapes your gaping green shithole from the abundance of cuteness

>>740299921
You're either vegan or vegetarian
>went back home for the holidays to see family
>they're trying to be vegetarians
>ate only veggies for a week
>craved meat but felt pretty gud
>my shits looked like that for the week
>went to KBBQ the day I came back home

>>740298450
tier

>>740301375
Looks kinda like Magnus Carlsen too

its rare that YLYL works. everything here is from reddit and ifunny and 9gag

>>740300549
kek

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>>740301336
I fucking lost to this, I'm tearing up.
It's just like blowing jar-jar binks!

>>740301446
stfu carlos you little faggot

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>>740301336
Oh, I lost so bad on this one!

>>740301735
Nope

>>740300687
grape kool-aid. No seriously it's not a joke.

>>740295377
>quality only
>posts literal shit

>>740296115
fucking lost

>>740301336
Bobby Hill?

>>740302027
no reaction pics but lost

>>740299667

That's how you win an election!

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>>740301747
dead

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>>740302446
Lost what? Your sense of humor?

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>>740301603
IT LOOKS LIKE GUACAMOLE

>>740301757
Complete bullshit. Nice try though.

>>740299921
Do you eat a lot of things with blue dye in them? They do this.

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>>740302748
Why is that dudes junk backwards? wtf.

>>740298800
haha!

>>740302131
In Poland we dont have thoes :'(

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>>740301336
lost

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>>740295377

>>740301336
Wouldn't the text of the book be reversed? unless they used those systems of mirrors that flip it "back to normal"

>>740302152
kek'd

>>740303452
lost

>>740295482
Lost

>>740296115
brexit.jpg

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>>740301499
>it's not a majority
Of course not. They breed like fucking rabbits. Fuck chick, impregnate, run, repeat!

>>740303895
Sauce?

>>740296791
Lost. I'm outs

>>740299921
I fucking smelled that from here

>>740303237
Yeah, but at least you also don't have Donald Trump and his disgusting, inbred clan. I'd say you're better off...

>>740299921
You obviously drink a bunch of smoothies from 7-11 with blue dye in them.

>>740300687
Blavod. You get drunk and you get green shit. It's a win win situation.

You people are the fucking worst.

>>740301765
stop baiting me anon

>>740299233
Lost

>>740300984
Fuck I've lost to this like 7 times now.

>>740299921
Time stamp faggot.

>>740303461
No, they have it flip back to normal

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>>740299921
I laid this monstrosity once.

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https://youtu.be/gGWXKmGTLOA

>>740301603
What weed strain is that?

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>>740302748
Im too drunk and it too late for that shit.

>>740304036
Lost

>>740302008
Why do the red parts look like a Bionicle weapon

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>>740306057
WTF DO YOU EAT???
TELL ME HOW

>>740304451
tripfags used to call it that. Glad they left

>>740305004
Why you gotta make it political fuck head

>>740301375
He thought he was playing chess. But really he's stuck with checkers.

>>740299233
>sikh
>infidels
fake as fuck

>>740305431
>bating

>>740295457
LMAOOOOO
XDXDXDXD
SO EDGY111!!

>>740306066

no matter how bad your day was at least you're not that guy

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>>740305004
>Donald Trump and his disgusting, inbred clan

This, I hate sharing a country with jews.

>>740306438
Sihk can be Muslims idiot

>>740306572
sikh*

>>740300549
laughed at spooky skeleton voice

>>740305004
Donald Trump is the best thing to happen to global politics in decades you ignorant urban redneck.

>>740302748
>be God.
>Fucking drunk one day.
>Humans are pissing me off.
>I'm too almighty for this shit.
>Designing a baby.
>Say fuck it.
>Put his package on backwards.
>Dick under balls.
>Have fun going to the bathroom.
>Good luck with puberty.
>That's what your whore mom gets for texting in Church.

>>740302748
No way

>>740306572
Please elaborate

>>740306749
He's a kike lover with a jewish son in law, the only child he has that isn't married to the tribe is the underage one.

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>>740306781
You deserve this

>>740306275
Never eat an MRE without chewing gum after. Those things will do unspeakable things to your rectum.

>>740305004
You have enough bait to start a fishing shop.

>>740302027
Horrible, but clever

>>740306260
Dunno my man I just know its the cover of the Spanish translation of some guys Cthulhu mythos story compilation, the one that wrote bout that flying yeti dude

>>740305197
I legitimately want to know what this is from.

>>740301340
fucking lost

>>740304927
Perfect

>>740306057
>Laid
Its a turd, not a fucking egg.

>>740306057
HOLD UP. THAT'S FROM THAYER HALL AT HARVARD ISN'T IT?

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>>740306781
>That's what your whore mom gets for texting in Church
>-God

>>740301340
what the fuck this joke has no context, its just something sexual in the punchline with absolutely no set up

>>740301499

it's the entire amount.

All slaves were sold by african slavers.

what did you think george washington was running around africa trying to round up slaves?

no, it was a business.

>>740301757
>ate only veggies
>thinking this is what veganism is
you're fucking retarded

>>740301500
Fucking lost

>>740304028
fucking died

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>>740307093
>>740306260
It's this

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>>740306443
>this golem thinks the holohoax actually happened

>>740306970
>>740307293
>Be God.
>Listening to prayers.
>Kinda like white noise to me, occasionally grant one if I feel like it.
>Suddenly see Timmy.
>Shit, its the kid with the upside down crotch.
>He goes to his priest.
>"Father, I have a problem."
>Decide to step in.
>HolyPossession.Leviticus.
>"What is it my son?"
>Pulls down pants.
>See my efforts.
>Oh Myself its got worse.
>Can't help it.
>Still possessing priest.
>"Son, even I wouldn't molest that."
>Timmy runs out crying.
>I work in mysterious ways.
>Just like your father did when he used the Bible to pick up dog crap.
>Fuck you backwards dick Timmy.

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>>740306057

>>740302078
Are you a flat-tard,by any chance?

>>740307854
Holy mother of you.,,
Im gonna suffocate from laughter

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Bat tard

>>740307854
You should keep going, this time with Mother Mary. ;)
How god cucked Joseph.

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>>740301747
>actually laughed

>>740300907
Are you the guy that posed that green text a year or two ago about how he loved pickles so much that he ate an entire jar and then shit pure acid

>>740307348
I think it's fucking great. Some jokes are or aren't for certain people man.

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>>740306781
kek

>>740302321
It's funny because Alexandre Bissonnette posted a Domino's dog right before he shot up a mosque

>>740308112
>Be God.
>Timmy is in college.
>He has a plan to lose his virginity.
>Boner goes up, parting his balls like the Red Sea.
>His plan is to convince a girl to let him fuck her in the dark so she feels the dick without seeing it.
>Think you can outsmart me?
>Wrong.
>Foolish Mortal.
>Timmy and Girl in dark room.
>He's about to stick it in.
>Have lightning strike the tree next to the room.
>Girl gets up to turn on light so she can see outside right when a swarm of drunk party goers come running in.
>About 20 people see Timmy's dick abomination.
>I am God.
>I decree Timmy will never win.

>>740300687
mountain dew pitch black

>>740300000

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EX5Xl4EZnq4&feature=youtu.be

>>740302748
makes me uncomfortable

>>740305325
hey look. it's maisie williams

Where is orange cat of fun

>>740295377
>filename
Kek

>>740308746
Hahahaha
>parting his balls like the red sea
C'mon God, why mess with poor Timmy Ballsontopoffdick?

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OC I screencapped

>>740308746
>graduates

>>740308212
>Be God.
>Want a child.
>But all girl angels are boring.
>Go to Earth.
>Hear about this fine lady.
>She's married?
>Don't care.
>I am God.
>The original Alpha.
>Go to her place.
>"Hey Babe, I'm God."
>"Really? I'm a huge fan!"
>Going better than expected.
>Free will and shit makes humans unpredictable.
>"Hey, want to have my baby?" I ask.
>She's shocked at first.
>"B-but I'm married! Isn't adultery bad?" she asks.
>Bitch I'm God.
>Give some bullshit reasoning.
>Even do the Just the Tip lie.
>She agrees.
>DatVirginPussy.
>Pump and Dump.
>Its great to be Me.

>>740301336

A weapon to surpass the Metal Gear.

>>740309210
His mother was a whore and his father used my Holy Book to pick up dog shit. You mess with the G-Man, you get the smite.

>>740303844
YOU'RE UP AGAINST THE WALL, AND I AM THE FUCKING WALL

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>>740309335
>pump and dump

>>740306066
when the feels come with kek
go on and break your nek

>>740309335
> be god
> just fucked fine mortal lady
> fuck shes preggo
> fuck it im god
> can pay child suport with miracles
> amazetheshitoutofmortals.jpeg
> little baby is born
> its fucking Timmy
> fuck you Timmy

>>740309687
Holy fucking kek

>>740301336
Who tf is that bobby hill lookin ass on the box for that shit.

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>>740303016
thread is still going kek'ing hard

>>740304451
goddamn it. Lost

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>>740309544
every.fucking.time

>>740307213
my fucking sides

>>740301499
Yes it was and Africa still has slaves today, they are the worst offenders when it come to slavery

>>740305197
Holy shit, that picture is awesome.

>>740310615
Although I would not be surprised if Shitzilla hatched from that thing.

>>740306066
That dude got fucking slammed.

>>740306572
You mean CAN'T. You can't really be Christian and Buddhist at the same time.

>>740304927
Lost at crimson chin

>>740302748

Sex would be sooooo painful
No matter the position your just smashing your balls

>>740310321
green text 's i always lose at

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>>740310388
you can't unsee

also dubs

>>740310780
1988 Godzilla?

>>740310475
Cats can have babies from different cats. Weird but cool. Odd families they would have if they ever live long enough to evolve

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>>740310475
the orange kitty in the top left is not the same kitty as in the lower images. Note the white fur on the face of the sad kitty on the lower right; it's not on the kitty in the upper right image.

shoopadoop.jpg detected

please kill yourself, you worthless subhuman trash. I hope your mother gets raped in front of you.

>>740309748
Took me a moment.

>>740308969
This escalated exponentially

>>740308969
>pound like pickles
lost it right there

>>740299233
not even racist

>>740298800
Fuck, lost to this bullshit

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>>740310998
>I hope your mother gets raped in front of you.

doesn't sound so bad

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>>740301500
idk why but lost

>>740304451
fucking lost so hard

>>740300800
get out with that summerfag shit

>>740310077
i lost

>>740304927
Lost real good

>>740305350
Then put some bananas fagot

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>>740311401

>>740301603
THAT'S GUACAMOLE YOU FUCKING RETARDS

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>>740311768

>>740311881
Seriously overused in ylyl topics.

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>>740311881

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>>740298450
> implying Tumblr has humor
Lost

>>740302748
How'd you get the beans over the frank?

>>740306970
>>740307293
>>740308112
>>740308212
>>740308613
>>740309210
>>740309651
Anyone that wants more dickish god stories go to this thread. >>740312114

>>740311100
>>740311050
Follow up
>op got arrested
>girl got a restraining order

>>740306066
Holy. Fucking. Shit. I thought my eyes were going to shoot out my head from trying not to laugh, and I'm pretty sure I felt a couple dozen things in my brain pop. I may die in my sleep tonight, but I want it know that I DID NOT LAUGH.

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>>740306781
OC in a YLYL. Someone screencap pls

>>740304927
>Gnasher
fuck

>>740306970
source?

>>740308141
>bruth wayng

>>740300984
lost hard at that stupid shit. im ashamed. still smirking tho

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Yabba DABba DUBS!

>>740310475
> me irl

>>740309335
>the original alpha

fucking lost

>>740310475
my wifes son

>>740312455
I made a thread for it. >>740312114

>>740300385
this

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>>740297106
>>740299667
>>740299921
>>740301340
>>740301375
>>740302321
>>740302748

>>740296115
lost

>>740306781
bravo

>>740308746
Kek someone better screencap this. Pure Gold

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>>740308638
Aw yeah!

>>740301826
Who dat

>>740300687
anything with alot of food dye in it

>>740307348
Do you not understand comedy, or are you just stupid?

The set up is a guy and his kid are watching a movie. The punchline is, it turns out it's porn.

Solidly formed joke.

>>740306781
Best post of 2017

>>740300687
Combination of things.

-Severe Iron deficiency/absorbtion issue in your body. Iron when it digests and gets shat out makes your shit turn green, generally speaking though it's darker than that.
-Major up tick in consumption of cruciferous veggies. Lettuce/Spinach/Kale/Seaweed/Cabbage. Probably from juicing/smoothies, I doubt you could legit eat that much greenery every day crunching salads or something.
-Eat a shitton of dyed food. Couple of st patty's day parties can truly be hell on your colon.
-Some kind of medication reacting with your gut. I know pepto can sometimes turn your shit black or white depending on how it reacts, but I don't know of any meds off the top of my head that'll do green.

>>740308969
seems fool proof

>>740312455
Why does this say "power purple fire star"?

>>740304557
Lost.

>>740309859
lost

>>740309859

fuck dc

>>740304927
Hey fuckface, the image I'm giving you is the true and only special ed class photo. Consider it a gift.

>>740312455
damn spider man has some muscular tits

>>740306066
Why in the fuck would he keep writing more poems holy fucking shit dude

>>740307869
Is that obama in college?

>>740312581
Lily Ivy?

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>>740302748

>>740314592
you're a god ty broski

>>740304557
Spicy ;)

>>740309748
"Lol, what's the punchline? Seems pretty funny though..."
...
"AHHHHHHH, my sides!"

What happens when your wife starts talking to you?

Get a new one because dishwashers aren't suppose to talk.

>>740301270
u lost to this? but i see this post all the time lol...

>>740301340
>>740301340

HAH HAH HAH oh boy. Wow guys this sure GOT ME! HAH. OHHHHH man this place is some r a u n c h y stuff!

KEEP IT COMING HERE! LOL!

>>740313985

It doesn't.

It says "Nine purple fire star". It's astrology crap.

>>740301826
Da fuck? Magnum Carlsen is WAY more handsome than this B

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>>740315555
What a waste of quads. Kill yourself

>>740299921
Because posts like this is why 9-11 happened.

>>740298800
Haha
Pd:double

>>740302748
Hot

>>740315541

Ah shit...the dad's kids and wives have gone to sleep and now they're sneaking onto 4chan in the bathroom...

>>740300768
Maybe it's because you're a fucking summerfag

>>740311401
>All around Bombshell can't wait for cummies
>Anime (FUCK YES)

>>740316423
Hey except for the bathroom thing, at least you know what I'm about.

>>740306781
>be me
>proud religious woman
>enjoying what the guy at the front is talking about
>suddenly get text
>husband is in jail for kidnapping and raping two boys and three girls
>apparently he made the girls watch while he tore through the virgin buttholes of the boys
>he made the boys tear the buttholes of the girls
>they're all under 16 years old
>some of the girls, I'm told, were getting into it
>they were begging to be strapped down, choked, beaten, and have inanimate objects (and some animate creatures) shove in their holes
>one of the girls will never be able to have children in the future from what was done to her body
>all were virgins prior to this
>all of them try to defend my husband
>keep getting more and more details about what happened
>can only reply with "ok"

>fast forward
>conjugal visits
>husband says if I don't, he'll get his friends to murder me
>get pregnant
>son has deformed sex stuff

why God??? What did I do to deserve this???

>>740317104
>son has deformed sex stuff
Sounds like bait, but if not...I was raised in middleclass home with good parents and values.
Have crazy fetishes...started when i was 6. Boys will be boys.

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>>740304927
Lost