Do you want to kill yourself or hurt yourself? If so, tell

>>740101181
Good intentions Anon. But probably sadly underappreciated here.

> be me 18
> dad has brain eating disease
> forgets my name and talk 4 shit
> been bullied for bout 5 years
> bad economical pos
> no one likes me
> still haven't lost my v-card
> got a close to 7 inch, ig that is average for europeans (if not, only thing im happy about in life)
> I dont find happiness in anything
> I have freckles

I'm a fag.

>>740101720
OP: Why have you been bullied, because of your sexuality?

>>740101979
well im straight. i would probably be bullied by my sexuality in 2017 tho LUL

Nah im just dead ugly.

>>740102101
OP: Ok - well let's start with this. You're a virgin at 18. I'm 34, and I've slept with close to 20 women. Do you know when I lost my virginity? 22 years old, in college. I was more awkward than you throughout my whole life, I can guarantee you that.

Also, my parents have hated each other their whole lives, and that destroyed the possibility of me forming any real relationships in my teen and early 20s years.

As far as virginity and not being liked goes, I can tell you from experience that in time, those will both change. You'll eventually meet people that like the things you like, and one of them will be a female (in your case). And she will appreciate your 7"

Never happy with myself.
I have freinds. i have family, i do good in
school.
But i just don't see any joy in life.
Do i need help?
Do i have depression?
I have suicidal thoughts every week and almost go through with them sometimes
I have never told anyone i know of that i feel this way.

>>740101720
I was bullied throughout all four years of high school, and the bullying was questioning my sexuality in fact (I went to an all boys school and played on the football team).

Looking back at all the people that didn't like me and bullied me, after about 10 years passed, I can see that they all have shit lives, and mine is much better. You just have to get into your mid 20s.

>>740101181
I have no purpose, so the only logical thing to do is end it. The only reason why I shouldn't is because maybe a dozen people or so would be a little sad for a while. They'd get over it.

>>740102464
OP: To tell you the truth, I also don't see the joy in life many times. Life is pointless, so really the only people who don't see the joy and want it to end are the really smart ones - the ones who can see through all of the bullshit mirages about money/sex/friends/etc. and realize that life is pointless.

BUT that doesn't mean you should end your life. You know why? Because good things will eventually happen. One thing that always helps me is envisioning a stock price chart. For every single stock, even for the best company in the world, there are peaks and valleys. The valleys are always followed by a big peak. And the deeper the valley, the bigger the peak will be following it. So whenever life sucks for me, I get a little excited, because I know the worse it gets, the bigger my peak will be in due time.

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>>740102838
>Life is pointless
>good things will eventually happen

Regardless of what happens, life is still pointless. That's the problem. It has no meaning.

>>740102838
I used to just try and see the good in everyday,
I don't think life is pointless i have dreams but i struggle with mental illness only my family knows about and its hard to function even. I think of myself as a failure because of it

>>740102687
Dude, this doesn't make any sense. Life is easy, you make your own purpose. The hard part is finding what you want that to be. Try getting out a bit more, volunteer at an animal shelter or go out to eat with friends, go do an activity you like like 4 wheeling or surfing and meet people with shared Interests! Life is what you make of it, and it's too short for you to go and make it even shorter. Don't worry about things Anon, just enjoy.

>>740103049
OP: So seek out the fruits of life. Read about what makes people happy, and try one of those at a time.

Here's what worked for me (I was really depressed until recently):
1) Forced myself to start going to the gym every day. Starting to get more muscular and noticing people take me more seriously and girls glance. This took about 7 months.

2) Get creative and time-consuming hobbies. I have like no friends at all, but I have lots to do that makes me happy. I built a terrarium from scratch. I play League of Legends. I upgrade small things on my car. I try to learn new things on 4chan and reddit.

All of this seems stupid and a waste of time at first, but you have to force yourself to try. I guarantee it'll make you happy.

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>>740101181

>>740102687
OP: How old are you? How do you know you have no purpose? What would a good purpose be, to be a fireman or astronaut? They have just as little purpose as you do.

Find something you like to do, and that's your purpose. Sometimes my purpose is watering my flowers outside, which I grew from seeds. That is rewarding to me. Another purpose is helping other people, because that makes me happy through some subliminal process that I don't understand.

And yes, everyone you know would be really sad, and it would destroy the rest of their lives (not just for a short while).

>>740103318
I've done a LOT, anon. I'm not some 20-something basement dwelling neet. Rode motorcycles, jumped out of a plane, traveled all over, worked with celebrities, met and worked with porn stars and models, when I work, I make bank. It's just all pointless.

I understand people make their own purpose, but that's all it is: a manufactured purpose.

That said, I'm working on it.

>>740103241
OP: More people have mental illness than you think. I have extreme paranoia and depression. You have to recognize when your brain is fucking up - which is the first step. Then you can say to yourself: these thoughts are errors in my brain computer, I won't act on them or even move forward with them. Then go watch a movie, or go for a walk, or play League of Legends for an hour.

>>740103758
Just because the purpose is "manufactured" doesn't mean it's meaningless or any less impactful. Keep that in mind. It's good to hear you're working on it.

>>740103758
OP: it is true that life is pointless. A dog is pointless too - does that mean you should shoot it? No, you should bring it in your house, pet it, throw a ball for it to catch, take it to the beach.

Do the same thing with your life. You seem to have done lots of extreme things, but think of doing more laid back things that bring happiness. Go to a yoga class. Take a hike through a forest nearby. Then get a hobby. These will all form your daily purpose, which will make you happy to get up each morning.

Life is meaningless and the thought of death is frightening af, and is constantly on the back of my mind. But then I realized that the only reason I fear death is my animal instincts, and my understanding of what life is, and how fragile the mind can be. Severe depression is the only thing keeping me from going insane (makes life seem like a dream, so death doesn't "feel" real either). I have a bunch of other problems, but when compared to my realization of what life and death are, they seem insignificant. I know that no amount of therapy will change my attitude towards life, so that's out of the question. Only thing I can think that might allow me to live, is to be constantly fucked up on drugs, but what would be the point? In the end I'm just 1 in 7 billion, and I'll eventually die, be it tomorrow or in 20 years, what's the difference?
Ok shoot OP, try to convince me not to end myself, interested in seeing your response :)
Hopefully it won't be the typical "life is what you make it, find meaning in small things, etc".

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I made this.

>>740103509
>going to the gym every day

Yeah... I'll probably get back into martial arts.

>>740103688
>How old are you?

I'm 54.

>everyone you know would be really sad

OK, then maybe they'll understand how I've felt for the past 20 years. In that sense, they get to share in my experience so that's potentially a good purpose to have :-)

>>740104086
OP: Here are a few points:

1) Don't think that therapy won't help. Did it feel good at all to type all of the stuff you just typed? Now imagine saying it out loud to someone who has seen lots of people even more fucked up than you, who wants to help you. I myself go to therapy for my paranoia, and I can tell you that I thought it was BS at first, but it really feels good and has lasting effects.

2) Getting fucked up on drugs ruins your emotions and your mental state. I used to think the same way when I was younger - "my brain is so fucked up, I'm gonna fuck it up even more with weed and coke." That doesn't work, it really does just make it worse. Try not drinking or doing any drugs at all for a few weeks. The results will surprise you.

3) What's the difference if you make yourself die today or if you die naturally in 20 years? How about you'll never meet that one girl in 2 years and 4 months, who will think you're funny and want to go out with you? How about you'll never win $5,000 on a lotto scratcher in 15 years and 1 month? How about you'll never travel to Spain and see the countryside in 4 years?

>>740104086
>I fear death is my animal instincts

Survival instinct is probably the basest instinct we have. You spend your whole life striving to survive so ending it goes against everything we are.

The one thing that I keep coming back to is the idea that things will only get worse, not better.

>>740104163
OP: Get back into martial arts and have a goal to move up in belt color in a certain amount of time (if that works with your particular martial arts). You need to be active to the point of sweating every day, for the feel-good chemicals to be injected into your blood by your brain. They are sitting up there just waiting to be injected.

2) But did all of these people that love you make you sad to the point where you think about dying? I bet not all of them did. And one or two of them would be destroyed forever...

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>>740104597
>3) What's the difference if you make yourself die today or if you die naturally in 20 years? How about you'll never meet that one girl in 2 years and 4 months, who will think you're funny and want to go out with you? How about you'll never win $5,000 on a lotto scratcher in 15 years and 1 month? How about you'll never travel to Spain and see the countryside in 4 years?

Ya know, when you get a little older and have had MANY "good things" either come and go or pass you by completely, you get a little more realistic.

None of the things you describe above get me excited. Now a time machine on the other hand, that would do it.

Because i need attentions and people who stay near me ifeel fucking lonely and abandoned i wish i never grew up

>>740105086
OP: I'm 34, so I've seen my fair share (though you may have seen more good things come and go). Trust me, I've been through lots of fucked up shit, and I also agree that life is pointless, so I can relate to what you're saying.

What gets you excited? Anything at all? Think hard and let me know...

>>740105371
OP: how old are you? Why do you feel lonely - do you have any friends at all, or zero?

>>740104876
>But did all of these people that love you make you sad to the point where you think about dying? I bet not all of them did. And one or two of them would be destroyed forever...

Meh. They all have their own lives and I'm not really a part of those lives. Even when I visit them, I can't wait to leave and I'm still always thinking about blowing my brains out.

I'm older, and all my younger friends moved away to have careers, my one friend's kids who I loved as my own didn't need me around anymore once they hit 10 or 11, and my peers are all married with kids while I'm perpetually single and childless. It's just awkward for me being the oddball guy.

I might relocate and try to start over.

>>740104597
Honestly I didn't feel much better typing it, and I doubt a therapist would give me any new perspectives which I haven't already visited on the subject.
Also, the only time I feel any kind of joy is when I drink, which is rare enough.
Also, even if I were to have a great life, what would it be all for? Just to look back at my life in my deathbed and satisfied? Idk how that would really matter if in the end I decompose and my life becomes a mere part of history?
Honestly though, that was really good advice, too bad I'm a stubborn little shit
Thanks for trying OP

>>740105378
>What gets you excited? Anything at all? Think hard and let me know...

Hard to say. Really the only thing is career related - the work. But that's waning as I'm aging out. Part of the problem is there's little work in my area, so more and more I feel like I need to leave so I can be busy working.

>>740105503
OP: see, you are thinking of ways to make your life better. Move to a crazy new place! How about Miami? Maybe London? Once you take the flight, your daily expenses will be pretty much the same. Just spend some time to find a job in a cool new place and move there.

If you are lonely and single, let's get on a dating site. You probably don't realize that there are thousands of women your age that are single for various reasons. Get in shape, buy some clothes, get on Tinder/Eharmony/whatever, take a girl to mini-golf, and let's get going.

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>>740105868
That settles it. I'm moving. Thanks. anon.

>>740105452
I have a lot of friends and a family who loves me. Im 24 i cant find out why i feel this way.. its something like i cant be the maker of my future, and all this shitty world around me scary me

>>740105692
OP: just go to the damn therapist and try it for two months. If you don't feel better at all, then quit. One thing to keep in mind is that you can choose your therapist by looks. Mine is a hot asian 26y.o., and they love to talk to you, and they actually care about you.

You will decompose whether you shoot yourself or whether you die peacefully in your sleep surrounded by family at 90. But all of the days leading up to that night of death at 90 will be full of great memories that you formed, after you realized that life is a game, and you need to try to win the game. You lose the game when you end the game yourself. You win the game when you find the little things that make you happy, which aren't obvious.

You like to drink? How about this - join a homebrewing club in your area. You can then have a hobby and meet people in your area with a similar interest. This is just a start....

>>740106056
OP: Nice - what places are on your list?

>>740105867
OP: what is your career?

Maybe you can move to a new city, like the other anon in this thread? I've moved a few times to totally different places, and it's like a whole new fucking storybook. New people, new bars, new restaurants, new streets, new trees. Think about it...

>>740106074
OP: are you in school? do you have a job?

When I was 24 I was failing classes in college and had no idea what I would do with my life. But trust me, the world makes things happen whether you participate in it or not. In a few years you are gonna have a career that is moving forward.

And stop worrying about your future. The future is just as pointless or important as today in your life. The future might give you more money just because of time at a job, but you can enjoy life starting today, not in 10 years.

Instead of making your future, make something today. Think of a fun trip to go on with your friends. How about camping somewhere by the river? You can try shrooms by the fire. That is pretty fun I can tell you...

>>740106301
>what places are on your list?

I like the Southwest, but San Diego always sounds nice. Spent a lot of time in Los Angeles and have friends there, but I don't love it there. I think about Austin, San Diego, and maybe Northern California if there's a cool area that's not San Francisco. I might travel around and see what I like the most.

>what is your career?

Cinematographer, and photographer primarily.

>>740106199
If I go to a therapist, it'll alert my parents that I'm depressed and suicidal, and I feel as if I were to tell the therapist that I want to kms I'll end up in a psychiatric ward? Also I don't want drama, plus my parents will have to pay for something which will most likely end up being useless...
Also if life is a game, then it's a game that I don't care for. "Win" or "lose" makes no difference to me tbh.
Yeah actually sorry for wasting your time actually, I'm just doing this cuz I can't sleep and have nothing else to do
I've already made up my mind about it a while ago, sorry again OP

>>740106673
Im going to ozora next week you're right anon i only have to care about today, maybe i feel this way only cause im doing to much alcool and cocaine

>>740101181
I won't kill/hurt myself but I also wouldn't mind dying at any second now I have my reasons and shit but I won't say because I'm not in my sad/depressed mindset right now

>>740106815
OP: well photography and travel mix very well. I live in Los Angeles, and it's not the easiest city to start from scratch in. San Diego and Norcal are beautiful. Look into Asilomar, near Monterey (norcal) or El Cajon, near San Diego. Super beautiful and really peaceful areas. Lots of nice people too and beautiful women for starting over.

>>740106074
Fuck and i just lost my credit card

Its very hard to describe, but I have been on meds since im 14.
I have bipolar and severe depression, and now 5 years later and 4 pills everyday have not made me happy at all.
I try my best, I laugh I have friends, my family likes me but my father and mother have severe issues as well.
My best friend commited suicide 1 year ago and her little sister just messaged me 1 day ago.
My french boyfriend cheated on me (this is the most stupid to be honest)
Just generally when it seems life is going better... nothing happens, it all falls apart.
Some days I get so drunk and high, other days i want to die in my bed and i destroy my room,
Mental illness is no fucking joke, and it makes me feel like a freak.
A fucking freak of nature.

>>740106829
OP: I won't keep pushing the therapist thing except to say that you don't have to tell them you want to kill yourself. Just mention the symptoms, like youre depressed, dont see the point of life, no excitement, etc. And my therapist costs 40 bucks per session, so 80 bucks a month I'm sure your parents won't mind spending if they have insurance.

But even if you don't go to the therapist, you need to at least see what "winning" the game looks like and feels like before you just quit. For all you know, if you quit the game, what follows is way worse than what you feel now.

>>740106883
OP: Stop doing coke, and stop drinking for at least two weeks. These things make your brain screwy, and you don't realize it. It leaves a cloud of shit over the window of your mind, and you cant tell that the film is there on the window. Clean it off and see how it feels (you can always do the drugs and alcohol again after a few months if you don't feel better).

>>740107407
OP: dude just cancel it and get a new one. these things are not major problems in life.

>>740107417
OP: the ages of like 16-22 are in my opinion the hardest years of life. If your parents don't have a good relationship (such as my life), then you can't form any real relationships with other people. Your boyfriends or girlfriends cheat on you (happened to me three different times). You feel like you don't fit in or have a purpose (check). But you just have to be patient and wait till you get to be mid 20s. By that time you've gone through this fucking hard gauntlet, and you will be damn proud of yourself.

You might want to die in your bed and destroy your room because you are coming down from the booze and drugs. Every time I drink I feel depressed the next day. Just try to stop that stuff for a few weeks, and see how that feels.

I'm sure that you can find a new boyfriend. I told someone earlier I didn't lose my virginity until I was 22. I lost it to a girl I was in love with, who cheated on me with her ex while I waited for her at her mom's house with dinner I bought for her. She did this for a week straight without me knowing (he was in a hotel nearby). I mention this because I moved on from that person like 10 times over by now, and I found a perfect person that I never wouldve met if I had ended the game that many years ago.

Just have to be patient.

>>740106976
OP: maybe you can explain what your reasons are...

>>740107172
Looking into it, thanks.

Because I'm 25 and lied to family about finishing my s.t.e.m. degree, even though im ridiculously close to finishing it and chose to not reenroll. I allowed myself to be overwhelmed by my experiences of finding a neighbors corpse, having a stranger try to break into my apartment and my gf. I haven't worked or taken classes in a couple years. My best options are being a cop or army as I've become devoted to fitness,lifting,and high protein diet of 170g or more a day. I wasted my potential because of taking care of a woman who dumped me after we lived together over five years through a text.
Convince me my life is worth shit.
You can't. I'm barely worth the bullets it will take to stop me if i rage on somebody.

I can't be happy anymore. My mind is broken. I can't think. I'm too stupid to do anything that would fulfill me. I don't have any dreams. Nothing interests me. I am mediocre at best at everything I've ever done. I have zero interest in people. I just want to be left alone. All I feel is sadness and anger. I'm only a burden on those around me. I am a toxic cloud that only brings them down.

I'm just close to being done. I'm OK with it. I wish it wouldn't hurt the ones I care about. I need to distance myself further from everyone.

>>740108064
thank you for your advice op, really means a lot. and thank you for helping other people as well, you are a good person.
I will be patient, I have faith in life. That keeps me going.

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This thread is stupid. Ylyl.

>>740108109
I'm kinda in a numb feeling so I won't be able to get to indepth but basically the girl I gave my all shit on me a few weeks ago and I left (it was an online thing but goddamn if I didn't attached to her but she started ignoring me and went back to her ex) recently I started missing her and hit her up but keeping distance and decided its not worth it to persue so I wont but I just feel so fucking lonely I talk to maybe two people and it just isn't doing it for me and I'm to chicken shit to approach girls (my inner autism manifests itself in front of girls, especially hot ones) and I just avoid talking to them as much as I can so there goes that, I'm only 18, never had a gf which in turn means kissless/virgin and I wanna talk to this one girl but I can't bring myself to do it and I'll sit here lonely with nothing to do because of my inner pussiness and I just wish sometimes something would just end this all

>>740108064
p much this
i'm nearing the end of the shitty period and i can feel the better days becoming more consistent along with my will to grow up

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>>740108582
>>740108608

>>740108319
OP: the similarities with my life are striking. I never found a dead body or had my house broken into, by I did a STEM degree, and my career is in total turmoil right now. I thought I would be a rich and famous CEO by now, but I'm not. And guess what - it doesn't fucking matter because I'm making just enough money to take a vacation to a cool place every now and then, and to build my terrarium.

My entire family is full of cops, and they have the most chill lives imaginable. My cousin works for NYPD. He is like 42 or something now, has worked for them for 10 years, and is about to retire with a really good pension. He has a house, BMW, and a huge flatscreen TV. Look into being a cop, it isn't all that bad. My dad was a Beverly Hills cop for 30 years, and you can't believe the respect they get everywhere they go.

My past gf experiences put yours to shame. I know that doesn't really help, but just know that the pain goes away. Sometimes I think about the girl who fucked me over royally (cheated with ex), and I just laugh now that I ever felt anything bad. It's totally just a mist in my memory that means nothing. There are so many women out there currently looking for a guy like you who is fit and smart. Stop feeling bad for yourself, go to a therapist about the dead body, and get on Tinder bro.

i consider it fun

I haven’t hit the breaking point yet to where I’ve truly considered it, but I probably fucking should.

>both parents dead
>jobless
>had to move in with grandparents
>I broke up with girlfriend
>in massive debt because of ex
>can’t find a job

She really, really fucked me over /b/. I truly hate her and hope she fucking dies.

>>740108835
don't kill her though it'll be to obvious maybe hire someone like you who has nothing to lose and gives no fucks?

sometimes

>>740108360
OP: I think lots of people have a broken mind. Almost everyone I've ever met has a mental weirdness to some degree. I am the same as you, where nothing interest me, I want to be alone all the time, etc. You don't have to be around people all the time and then judge your happiness based on what they feel. Who cares if they are brought down when you're around?? Start doing things that make you happy. What makes you excited? There has to be something...

>>740109000
If one could only dream.

>>740109276
there's ways to kill her and shit but I ain't gonna say since I don't need to be an accomplice

>>740108509
OP: Dude, you are 18. You have like no experience yet with women, so of course you will be an autist. I was so weird when I was 18 that people walk the other way.

Here is how I think of friendships and dealing with women (in your case): it's like a skill. If you tried to jump rope once do you think you would be an Olympian? No, you have to fuckin do it regularly. The same with women. One thing I learned is that the best thing you can ever do is find things in your life funny by yourself. For example, if you think a girl is attractive and you are an autist in front of her and scare her away, go home and laugh at it. Because you know what? You can find another one to be an autist in front of who is at least as hot.

Get on fucking Tinder and start autist-ing girls as much as possible. After a few months, you will know how to act and how to make them laugh. You just have to go through the uncomfortable learning period, like any skill in life.

>>740102464
get a girlfriend

loving girlfriend who treats me bad :)

>>740101720
Hey at least you're not black

>>740109543
good point but EAA is going on and I'm like a 4hr drive and my parents literally give me the keys to their sports car to take down (good on gas like 30mpg) and tips on how to approach girls in person? I'm 4hrs away then, with a charger, have enough cash, and am free but I'm a fucking retard when it comes to talking with girls and what not

>>740109373
Let’s hear’em just for entertainment purposes.

>>740108770
I don't think a therapist will fix anything. I literally stopped taking classes because i was stubborn and frustrated with bureaucracy. Money has never been much of an object to me, I have many assets coming my way if i live ten more years or less. I only want to become a cop because i can exert my assertive attitude and potentially use my powerful connections to change the issues with police departments. My ex left me because I'm too much to handle. She had sex with me every night before dumping me through text and disappearing. I stress people out with how much information i present and how blunt i am about everything. I have many close friends and family, but i don't really think i matter. They would all say i matter and would cry if i died, but i don't see how i matter.

>>740109903
if you stalk her maybe you could buy a beater car and get into a crash with her

get a pitbull or big ass dog and let it loose on her

drain her brake fluid

tannerite IED?

if you can get close mix bleach + acid to make chlorine gas

>>740108835
OP: at least you have loving grandparents who are helping you out. It takes time to get a job, so you just have to keep looking. And we have all been in debt at some point. The fun part is watching the debt go down as you pay it out with money you earned through hard work, along with a few beers you bought.

A lot of us in this thread have had fucked up exes. That is just the way of life. You have to move on by finding someone new. All of the damage done will be a wisp of wind in a few years.

>>740109928
OP: try having conversations with the people who you matter to, and just ask them in a funny way "why do you even like me?" I've done that before with my wife, and it actually works. They will say things that you didnt even think were good about yourself. And you will then become incrementally more confident by the day when you think about the fact that you have those good qualities, and other people recognize them and like them.

>>740101181
My girlfriend and I broke up almost a year ago. She had a history of being abused, by her father, boyfriends, uncle and whatnot. I never hurt her, and she was sweet, doting, funny, affectionate, you name it. However, she wanted more devotion and care or something than I could give her. After three years, as best I can tell, she felt like I didn't want her hard enough, or chase her somehow, but I think the behaviour she wanted was obsessive somehow. She broke up with me by giving some guy in her class a handjob. The sense of betrayal was overwhelming and I was maybe close to a double homicide.

Anyway, I still have the memories of laughing and cuddling with her, and how happy she was to be with me. I feel like I fucked it up. It's hard to imagine that something with such happy moments will come again, and that idea combined with the idea I might have fucked it up hurts more than I can express.

My family doesn't think it's my fault, and actually her mom doesn't either and still likes me and worries about whether I'm ok. So, the despair isn't quite complete.

I wish to god the pain would stop.

>>740110299
she’s one of those bitches that like to start shit and then immediately resort to calling cops.

You do have some genius ideas, though. I like the beater car idea. The dog idea is also cool, but it would unfortunately cost a dog its life and she ain’t worth that.

The gas thing would be cool, but can’t get close.

>>740109851
OP: I would just start with online dating. It's so much easier. And there is so much more variety and chance to find someone that matches with your interests. Take them somewhere fun where conversation is easy, like the zoo for example.

This is me again>>740109928

I could already be wealthy if i hadn't been so stubborn or corrected a certain 30year old obese grey haired female professor in a discussion class. She took a vendetta against me and it made my schedule more difficult.
Also ya i could get another girl, but what's the point? I was already cynical about marriage and now i definitely don't want to trust a female with anything. She stole money and things from me when she left. The best outcome is to get wealth and fuck 18 year olds for the rest of my days, but then I waste time explaining to them everything because they are mostly dumb as fuck. hot girls are dumb in my experience. Also my best friend says he won't split his house with me if i get a girlfriend,which sucks because i really wanted to live with him while i started casual dating.

>>740110761
I live in rural wisconsin the nearest city/big town is 30mi and the nearest thing to a city is like 70mi away kinda hard but I can try and also on my senior year in HS starting august

>be 19
>ugly af, not fat tho
>virgin
>can't talk to girls
>NEET
>living with mother (father died from a heart attack)
>have nothing to do with my life
>play video games all day, mostly path of exile, at least i'm pretty good at it, in the current race I'm in top 30 global
>can't stream for living because internet in my country is shit
>blood pressure is fucked up, I think I'll die the same way that my dad died

I'm literally waiting my death in my house playing games, why shouldn't i end this right now?

>>740110632
They will just say I'm funny and that i try to get people to be healthier/generally improve themselves. Its not like any of them actually change, except my best friend who has really taken charge of his life. I have good qualities, but its not enough. I'm usually pessimistic and make people uncomfortable.

>>740110479
Thanks man, and you’re right, but it’s a double-edged sword. It makes me feel like an even bigger piece of shit.

I also don’t really have any friends and no one ever wants to fucking do shit, which sucks ass.

The ex: I was happy as fuck because I thought I’d be rid of her ass for good, but she keeps finding ways back into my life to fuck with me mentally and financially.

Something needs to change, but I’m so fucking depressed now that i feel like no matter what I’m screwed and my life is just on auto pilot. I wake up, do nothing of significance for awhile and then go to bed.

Repeat.

I do appreciate you talking to me though man. It’s really nice to know I’m not alone.

>>740110692
OP: what I can tell you from very close experience is that people who were abused (especially sexually) have difficulty forming relationships in their younger years. They also tend to sleep around and cheat, because they just don't have it wired in their brain how faithful, healthy relationships work. I've been there and done that.

It is hard man, to get over someone that you felt so much for. But just think about if you can find someone who is more stable, who had normal parents growing up, who only knows how to be in a loving and faithful relationship??

The only way that you will ever find that is if you keep living, and let the time pass. Every day or two days it will be less, and after a year you will laugh that you ever felt any pain.

I was with a girl for 8 years who cheated on me to begin the relationship. I forgave her (because she was my first and I had no fucking idea what to do otherwise), and stuck with her for 8 years. I then went to Europe for 6 months to study, and she broke up with me by text while I was in the plane. Can you believe that shit? I was all alone in a foreign country dealing with this. Fast forward 6 months later and I met probably 10 different girls in Europe and totally forgot about the ex. It took about 2 months to get over her. But after those 2 months life was really good again.

Just have to be patient and wait it out

>>740110698
if you kill too it ruins the fun out of her suffering you probably pay some teen $100 to slash her tires and key the car (shit I'd do it for $100) you can either try to kill her or make her suffer financially

prank idea too

buy that liquid ass from amazon for like $8 and dump in the vents by windshield (interior air intake for cars) and when she cranks the AC the car will smell like shit for a long time

you could put 60-80 grit sandpaper under her wipers (cut in strips and glue it on)

take lug nuts off her wheels...

rig her car to be straight pipe and she'll maybe get a ticket and have to pay for a repair get the catalytic converters installed

>>740110876
OP: 30 miles isnt too bad. set up the date, and it will take at most an hour to get there. an hour is worth it on a weekend for a date.

>>740110692
Not op here.
How do you know she gave him a hand job? That's so specific. I was with my ex longer and i don't want to physically hurt her. my revenge thoughts are legal and much more damaging to her, but i havent done them because i guess i still love her somehow.. Plus shes about bankrupt and I'm unmined platinum.

>>740101181
Literally my entire familiy hates me. Follow Im_ugly on instagram and you can see screenshots of texts of them talking about me.

>>740111470
work 5 days a week my 'weekend' is thursday and friday and half the day thursday I'm busy

>>740101181
my parent's are both dead, and the worst thing about that, is that it's a good thing. When they were alive i got hell on earth, abuse, i got bullied at school, i had no one to turn to. And now all i have is scars, both mental and physical, and literally nothing else. Why should i pretend to care anymore?

>>740110977
If you’re 19 and your blood pressure is Fucked up, there’s something majorly wrong. Do you have a high pulse, as well?

Get yourself to a doc and tell them about it. They’ll hook you up with some meds that’ll get that shit lined out real quick. Get yourself a monitor to keep an eye on your levels.

Start working out because that will help you in many ways, including your blood pressure. It’s fun watching those numbers go down because you’re kicking ass via exercise. Think of it like a game.

>>740111153
OP: you just need to keep pecking away at people. Keep practicing and you will learn the game of conversation and how to make people feel that you are pleasant. You dont have to actually BE pleasant deep down, but you put on a show to have them be around you, which makes you feel good. Then you can go back home after feeling good and be unpleasant, and do the same thing the next day.

>>740111598
OP: Friday works! get at it

>>740111436
Fuck I wish I knew you in real life. She does live in a neighborhood though, so itd be really fucking tough to get that close to her shit without anyone noticing. Especially for an extended period of time.

I would love to do everything you mentioned though. I’ve also heard that throwing brake fluid on a car can fuck up the paint job.

>>740111667
Oh i can make myself appeal to anybody. The issue is when i think somebody knows and likes me, I have no filters. I said countless hurtful things to my ex because i though she would love me no matter what i came out of my mouth.

>>740111913
Not the guy you were talking to, but you both sound like stupid scum. Is that really the best you can come up with? I could ruin my exs family and job just by spreading information. You need to take some benzos to calm you down, start exercising and think of meaningful ways you can ruin her life. If that is really what you want, im betting you actually want her back.

>>740111340
thanks man, helps to know other people been through similar
>>740111545
good question lol she told me
I don't totally understand why, but I think she was feeling guilty. She was also trying to explain why we couldn't be together and break up with me.

>>740101181
living takes way too much effort.

>>740111927
OP: yes man, but that is my point - you have to keep having conversations with different people until you realize how to rub them the right way. You'll eventually catch yourself when youre about to say something dumb, whereas before you would just say it. It take lots of practice.

>>740111913
>>740112279
I'm the /b/ro not the fag but you can do emotional damage as well because no one likes to see their ex happy so if you go out and find someone and just make sure your ex sees it and if she's livin the shit life and you're not she gonna feel hurt and jealous and may take a mental toll on her if you can't get to her car for long times try the liquid ass and wear cloths you normally don't wear so it's harder to ID you

>>740112415
Weird. You'll be better off. Somehow my ex being honest like that would have felt better than her disappearing imo. I was "too mean" to my ex i guess. I'm not mean though, im honest.

>>740112279
I promise you that I don’t want her back. It’s amazing how you can love someone but then truly fucking despise them within a short amount of time, effectively undoing what took years to build. I can’t even think about the happy times with her anymore because of my pure hatred for her.

Show me the way, /b/retren. I don’t have nudes anymore. I’m pretty sure she’s unemployed now, so that’s a win.

>>740112970
I wish I could be like you and utterly hate my ex but its hard to for me at least

>>740112970
OP: what did she do to you exactly? I don't think you told us yet

>>740112834
Oh, I’ve thought about that, dude. I would love for it to mentally cripple her. Hopefully it would cause her to an hero.

I’m looking up the liquid ass shit and that stuff sounds bad ass. I’m going to have to order some :)

>>740112614
I never say anything dumb, just harsh or blunt. I absolutely have the capacity to sociopath my way through relationships, but i feel like being nice is hedging your bets for stupid people. If i need them for something i will be nice and make them feel good.
>>740112834
Ya im going to do that. Im going to invite her to a ritzy dinner in a year with my model gf i will have, then make her cry when i make a cruel joke and walk out with the bill on my tab. Easy peasy. I still might also deploy easy legal revenge on her to make her life not worth living,on the fence about that.

>>740113234
goodluck anon and another harmless prank is a big ass zip tie on the driveshaft since itll make a clicking noise and she'll have no clue what to do or where to look and will take it to a shop and they'll laugh at her

>>740113072

Remember that they 100% Do NOT care about your feelings. Deep down, they truly don’t give a fuck. They’ll be fucking someone else the next day if they can. They are excellent chameleons and will turn on you in a heartbeat. If you got fucked up and went into a coma for 2 years, you’d wake up and find out that she was with someone else a month later.

If you die, she’d be with someone else immediately and you wouldn’t even be a memory. Don’t waste time being sad about your ex. She’s in the past for a reason. Leave her ass there and move on, dude.

>>740113233

Well, first of all, she keeps popping back up into my life to fuck with me, when I want nothing to do with her. I seriously want to forget she even existed, so it pisses me off.

Still, a lot of this shit was my fault because I was an idiot in love, but here you go:

>I wasted 6 years with her.
>She was financially unstable, so I got a lot of shit in my name that she would later fuck me over on which put me in crippling debt.
>She gained 100lbs while i was with her
>she used my family and took advantage of their kindness
>she literally turned on me randomly one day after we broke up and were still “friends,” in a public manner, talking shit about me.
>she, unbeknownst to be, was talking with her ex during the latter part of our relationship.
>she never wanted the dick
>she stopped taking care of herself
>she never wanted to go out
>Her depression eventually caused me to be depressed

Cause my mom cancelled my Xbox live subscription

>>740101181
I'm always fucking lonely, everybody I've asked out has rejected me and everyone in my classes hates me cause I'm smart (I'm in honors classes). At one point I thought that I could improve myself through exercise, learning the piano, and such, but after I broke my knuckle about a week ago (hit the floor of a target when I missed a teddy bears head) I've started to give up on that because it's not going to change my face or my personality... I feel like I'm stuck in a loop of rejection and failure... why should I live..?

>>740112970
Ehh i don't want to give you ideas. You don't sound like somebody of the right character. My advice is don't do anything illegal. Think hard about secrets she has told her that would upset her family. I would have to know her better to know what makes her tick. Btw ive never had a hand job that made me cum except from myself. I love blow jobs though.

>>740101181
I just realized I posted multiple times, I'm so fucking sorry, newfag here

>>740114109
OP: have you ever seen celebrities without makeup? lots of them are ugly. Anyone in the whole world can have a pretty face if you change your look.

And your personality will develop with time. I was the most awkward fuck in the entire world until I got to be like 24. I had no friends and girls just laughed at me. Eventually you develop personality by just living life. Its like gaining experience in a video game, except it is real.

Keep doing cool things like learning piano. If your knuckle is broken, learn another talent. Learn magic tricks - that develops personality, and everyone thinks it's cool.

And KEEP GOING TO THE GYM. The number one way to be attractive is to be physically fit and well-kept. Do those two things and people will think you are hot no matter what.

>>740114285
Man up motherfuck. Being in high school and worrying about getting dates is stupid. Get good grades, go to college, endless hot girls. Don't fall in love though.

OK guys I have to go. I hope I helped some of you. I will post this thread again soon and try to help some more. NIGHT

>>740114009

Thanks /b/or! Keep the ideas coming if anything else clicks. You have definitely helped me :)

>>740114256

You know, I wonder if I hired someone to make a website dedicated to her and all her nasty secrets... and purchased her name as the address... if that would land me in trouble.

>>740114802
Night buddy! Thanks for the help.

>>740114725
No friends at 24? I doubt you're cool.
Magic tricks? Definitely not cool.

>>740115079
I’m not that guy, and I don’t know magic tricks nor have ever tried to learn any but I can tell you now that people love little tricks. They’re especially great to Segway yourself into picking up women.

>>740114884
Ya that's slander. She could sue the fuck out of you. You need concrete evidence. Think harder. Some of my most toxic legal revenge ideas came to me while exercising, i just don't want to upset my exs sister because she was sweet to me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GifS4zwggE

>>740115260
Lol, dokay. There is no way a girl would choose some card trick douche over my assertive confidence and looks.

Im alone. Nobody in life cares in anyway, my parents play off my cries for help as "a phase". I straight up said to my dad im depressed and im scared im going to end my life, no fucking reaction. My siblings don't care, im too much of a disappointment to be worth a damn. Im a freak no one wants to be around. The simplest things i do are treated like achievements of monument success. That may not seem bad but its fucking patronizing as hell and confirms to me that nobody has and expectations of success for me. Im treated like im a tard when im so obviously not. Nobody challenges me for fear that i may somehow become more depressed as I already am. No one is interested in even the thought of being in a relationship with me, not even the hoes and sluts at school. Im gaining too much weight (15 pounds in 3 months with exercise). I have little value to this world or it's people. The best i can do is off myself and stop wasting everyone's time, and resources. Not a single person would be negatively affect by my death. My family would have more money to spend, people in my school would benefit from less cancer in the general public, and the never excruciating pain of loneliness i feel daily would come to a sweet end.

>>740115329
Fuck. I’d love to just compile everything and have it listed for everyone to see, while she knows there’s nothing she can do about it.

Unfortunately there’s nothing I can really do as far as her family is concerned. They’re very distant from her due to obvious reasons. Still, that didn’t prevent me from adding a little more icing to the cake.

I’ve already done everything in regards to friends, as well.

It just seems she keeps pushing and doesn’t learn her lessons.

>>740115544
Op left.
How old are you?

I really want to kill myself, but the thing is its just no logical, as much as i hate my life, the pain i have isnt going to just going to go away, its gonna make others suffer for me. I care more about them, then i do about my suffering. I have cut before and i understand the appeal, and its about the high, its an adreniline high and for a moment, just a moment its alright

>>740115814
Im 17 going into my senior year

>>740115526
I’m not saying it has to be one or the other. Imagine What a man could accomplish that looks good, has confidence, and also learned a few opener tricks. People that do stuff like that are eccentric, interesting, and mysterious to women. They’re intrigued by it.

>>740115806
Idk man. I would have to know you both better. If she got fired I'd say her life is bad enough.

File: lewdbot_by_akeya22-d8kdzay.png (277KB, 1024x605px) Image search: [Google]

277KB, 1024x605px

OP, your a good guy. Have a good week

i wanted few month ago cause of unrequited love.
i thought about suicide by using contact rail in the underground.

>>740116151
Thanks for your help either way though man. I’d love for her just to be fucking gone, but like I said, she kept pushing and pushing. Maybe I’ll drop it if she finally starts leaving me the fuck alone.

Also, you probably kept my ass from doing something really stupid with the whole website thing lol

>>740115885
Thats not adrenaline. Stop hurting yourself, start strengthening yourself. >>740115978
Dude don't give a fuck about anyone around you. College is what matters. Study people and what makes others revolve around them, then use that to make friends and relationships in high school.
>>740116097
Whatever you say. I think being witty and good looking goes farther. Girls like to laugh more than be awed by stupid tricks.

>>740116581
What does she do to you? I thought you just wanted revenge for her cheating. If shes bothering you i can give better advice. Women are so easy to outsmart and devaste.

Why yes, my dear friend, I do really, really want to kill myself..Or my dad. Or both of us, in a murder suicide crime.

Why, you may ask?
Well, it all started when I was a fetus. He didn't want me to be born, then knowing that he can't abort me(He really wanted to), he wanted a girl, but I came instead.
He never loved me. He's always been very abusive, to the entire family. I've been told that I wasn't meant to be born on more than one occasion, when I was FUCKING 6. 6 years old! That's so fucked up!!

I was the youngest kid for 8 years, and he'd always remind me how much of a pain in the ass it is to take care of me.
Fastforward to my graduation from intermediate school: He didn't come.
Fastforward a few weeks after graduation: he kicked mom and my now 3 little siblings out. I went with them, I was the one who took care of them for an entire year living without my dad at all, all while in a different city and being in highschool.
He always gets worse and worse. He stopped physically abusing me, and has now turned to my poor little siblings. And he still mentally abuses all of us.


>tl;dr: abusive dad, wanted to abort me, abuses in more than one way.

I'd kill myself, but that'd leave my poor little siblings unwatched. So I have to kill him, but then I'll get busted one way or another.
However, if I commit murder suicide, I no longer have to suffer, and he can no longer abuse. Win win, if you ask me.

Im the last guy that was trying to help. Going to bed now. Night all.

>>740116626
It is actually a dopamine response in the brain. And i stopped a long time ago, it doesnt make sense either it just makes the people around worry

>>740117370
Don't. Film his abuse. Post it online and share it with authorities. Then when he gets out of jail poison him with arsenic. Laugh at him while hes gasping for help. Make sure nothing points to you.

I just want to know what comes next.

>>740117784
You see, the society where I live, no matter what, the older person, in this case the parent, is always right. Plus he plays it smart; he bought me a car and I have clothes and all(I forgot to mention I live with him now), but he's still very abusive.
I'm unsure if my feelings are still valid, since I'm living with him and he bought me a car and all. Probaby not, which is why I want to kill myself. But he's still abusive, which is why I'm currently looking at tools that I may or may not use to fuck with his car's brakes in a few minutes.

>>740117986
Lol sounds like me except car breaks is a stupid plan. You should think harder.

>>740118187
I'm unable to think very rationally at this state, which is why I most likely won't go do that. Becuase he'll just notice and go get it checked. I do however wonder if I could convince him to let me drive him somewhere then just hit a truck head on at top speed.

>>740116806
Petty shit, man.

I got a bunch of furniture and shit on payments because she wanted it and said she’d pay for it. When we split, I didn’t want the shit and told her she could keep it if she kept paying for it. Well, now you can guess who’s getting the fucking bill in the mail, late notice fees, etc...

She’s also had shit like dildo brochures and shit sent to my house.

>>740117986
What society do you live in? Child abuse is a crime. Shameful too. He will lose custody and most likely his job.

>>740115544
do u want have a conversation?

>>740118392
I forgot to add that she’s also blocked me on everything when she decided to go full retard, knowing I’d ask for the money. So, I can’t get in contact with her at all.

>>740118418
It's a crime, he will get jailed(20% chance) and all, but society will still bite me for going against my own "dad" (Fuck I almost vomited writing that word.)
He will most likely lose custody, again 20% chance, but like I said: Stupid Society. Not gonna mention where exactly, but it's in the middle east.

I just need someone to convince me now that I shouldn't commit murder suicide, because I'm really done this time. Tried to kill myself before but some old man needed help and I don't know what made me go help him but seeing him happy stopped me. But that was just because that that wasn't the right time to off myself, maybe now is.

>>740118392
Refund the furniture? File a harassment suit against her in small claims court about the brochures. Contact a lawyer and tell them everything. Im too tired to come up with better advice right now.. Make a revenge thread tomorrow night three hours earlier than now, ill give you a solid plan.

>>740118738
Why are you afraid to say what country? Poison him then. Sorry you were born there man.

>>740118963
Will do man! Have a good night.

I want to hurt myself because I enjoy the sensation of pain. It's neat.

>>740119188
Don't know..
I can't poison him. They'll know when he dies. I can't refuse an autopsy on him either because that's instant bust for me. Though, I did not mention..He is obese and he has hypertension, any way I could use that against him?

>>740119203
You too man. I guarantee we can get her to leave you alone and rue the day she decided she could fuck with you.

>>740119321
Nicotine. Concentrate nicotine and put it in his drink. Make it look like hes been smoking cigarettes. Your autopsy group will probably not look beyond that. Though i hope you're being smart about posting about this as it could be used against you if they suspect fowl play.

>>740119623
He doesn't smoke, that'd get me busted. I'm not talking about this to anyone outside of 4chan.
Man at this point I'm just really done. I really just want to end both of us asap. I've been tired for a while but, of course since I'm living with him, every few minutes I feel like fright is thrown into my heart, and I start sweating and hyperventilating..

Sorry about this, I'm aware I'm keeping you from doing better things. After all, I should just man up and not talk about my problems like the weak pathetic guy I am.
Sorry again. I'll just man up and end us whenever I get the chance to.

And since you were wondering, the country is Saudi Arabia. You won't hear about this though if I was able to succeed, I don't think so.

>>740119822
Burn cigarettes in his room and leave an ashtray full of cig butts. Or just arsenic, act shocked and sad with no evidence it was you. No reason for YOU to die. Im sorry saudi arabia is so bad. I wish i could liberate the good people in your country, or at least be of more help.

>>740119822
Also don't apologize to me. I want to help you. I sincerely want you to feel that you are safe and have agency in this world. I hope you don't hurt yourself.
Goodnight.

had a friend off himself few months ago, he never said a word to anyone before he did it. I couldn't ask the family how, didn't feel right because they didn't tell me first. I felt guilty because I was going through the motions myself, and hadn't really reached out to hang out with him or anyone in general. I'm fine and all, but it just sux, not knowing how really bugs me now, and I feel like it would be unfair to the family to bring it up after all of this time. Sux

If you have friends some loner friends you fell out of contact with, say hi for me.

I’m hitting the hay, guys and gals. It was nice talking with all of you and I truly hope all of your problems work out.

You have the power to change everything. Things are going to change no matter what, but you can influence them to be ina more positive direction. Even if it feels like you’re alone, there’s people that do care about you and it’s evident in this thread. Seriously, if you ever feel shitty, come to /b/ and we will talk.

Remember that you don’t have to be the same person you were yesterday. Strive to be better every day and put yourself in better situations. Work towards where you want to be in life and you’ll get there.

If you have negative influences in your life, you need to get rid of them at all costs. I don’t care who they are and how long you’ve known them. Tell them to cut the shit. If they don’t, you gave them fair warning, so cut them out of your life. Unfortunately, some people who supposedly care about you, will only drag you down.

Best of luck to everyone in here. It was nice talking with all of you.

>>740121934
night

>>740102687
So give us a story on your struggles kid

>>740101181
I wish I were dead everyday. I was just thinking about how having a brain tumor or some shit would be bitchin. I mean the only thing stopping me is all this credit card debt I'd leave my immediate family with.

No gf, no real prospects. Recovering fatty, I've lost a lot of weigh after I started getting active again but still broke af.

Last gf left me for some gook who she was working with in community service and of course I had to go cuck myself out to her while she was on the way out the door like a pathetic piece of dog shit.

Really there's no real prospects for anything long term but there again, I'm too chicken shit to pull a trigger or down pills.