Okay/b/, I'm in the army and I got 12 hours left on my shift.

>>739428792
Decides what

>>739428792
Do 20 jumping jacks.

>>739428847
What you would like me to do

I don't give a shit. Just commenting for the heck of it

>>739428907
Oh. Well I'm assuming you can't do much having to be on guard. Idk. Draw a dong

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>>739428792
Make sweet love to all the vehicles.

>>739429021
There's like 4 humvees coming back from patrol in about an hour, otherwise I have free range as long as I'm within the motor pool walls. It's a big place

Don't check IDs to maximize browsing time, I'm sure it will be fine.

>>739429151
Works every time

>>739428792
Draw fuck the army in the dirt with a stick

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Draw dick butt

call the next person you see a nigger unless hes black then call him a spick

>>739428792
Go awol

>>739428792
Team kill all your unit to piss off the admins

Marine here, think of life after EAS and why you joined service lol. Imagine how different life would've been if you didn't join.
Other than that if there's someone else on duty just play What are the Odds

Let isis into motorpool

The humvees have returned early. 3/4 are here. Also marine, devil dog, I'm the only Joe here.

>>739429699
>first get
>some military jargon bullshit
Why u do

>>739429844
If they show up I'm gonna kill um dead then allow their corpses to enter

pluck a pubic hair and stuff it up your nose

Pee on your clipboard

pluck a pubic hair and put it on your eye without blinking

Sharpie in pooper

get some ball sweat on your hand and shake hands with the next guy you see

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>>739429318
For free

get some ball sweat on your hand, lick it off, and spit on the Humvee as it's going by

>>739430291
you sir are a fucking monster

next guy you see, shake hands and say "i masturbated with this one" and give him an assuring smile

dance, and dont stop dancing

whip and nae nae when you see someone looking at you

>>739430402
For 12 hours.. you are insane

when the humvees come through, hold your thumb out like you're looking for a ride

eat 3 ass pls

yell out "skate fast, eat ass, and suck on all of those creamy dreamy logs"

When the humvees come yell "allahu ackbar!" As loud as possible

>>739430600
No way I can give evidence of this but I will take picture of humvees reaction

>>739430600
you got it holy fuck


if i get dubbs, sing "oo ee oo aa aa ting tang walla walla bing bang" over and over for the next 5 minutes slowly getting louder until you're at a full scream

>>739428792
Quit the army so I don't have to pay you to sit and "guard" all day long, at least fast food workers do something useful

put step-sister porn on full blast and start to touch yourself through your pants.

>>739428792
Key a shitty stick figure onto one of them with "Point out where <CO> Touched you"

>>739430805
Rolling for this

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ATTENTION! HALF RIGHT FACCEEEE. FRONT LEANING REST POSITION, MOVE! IN CADENCE! EXERCISE.

Remove your blouse and tie it around your neck and greet the humvees as Captian-Private America. While saluting every NCO with them. Get yourself fuckin smoked.

scream "<CO> touched me inappropriately"

>>739430778
Roger that, sergeant

>>739430843
Also as a good measure, you fucking POG NIGGER.

>>739430843
Also film said events.

>>739430843
I'm in a special forces unit, no one here gives a shit about that lol

>>739428792
How about you do your fucking job and get off /b/?

yell "i'm a dirty nigger and deserve to be punished, take me in <CO>"

cover your hands in the nastiest liquid you can find and shake one of the drivers' hands

>>739431099
Winrar

>>739431099
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I GOT DUBS

>>739431099
Bro if I can get one of them out of their trucks I will. Imma spit in my hand, i hate 88M

>>739431099
any kind of piss or ball sweat'll work

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call your battalion staff duty desk saying you see strange things out in the distance

have them and the mps come out
82nd here btw

>>739431184
that works.

>>739431267
Oh fuck guess what? I'm not in 82nd land I'm across the way at 3rd

>>739431267
rollin

>>739431267
Rollino

say "I love pretending to be a black man on a child-friendly game"

>>739431366
WIIIINRAAAR

>>739431366
yasssssssssssssss

>>739431366
make sure to send a pic of the mps for us

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>>739431184
He's wearing civilians lmaooo

>>739431633
The dubs demand you obey!

Is that a swastika?

I dare you to re-enlist you faggot

>>739431633
op stop being a faggot obey me!
and whats your fkn mos

>>739431634
Did you yell allahu ackbar faggot?

>>739431695
I radio'd to higher. We shall see what they say. So far they say go check it out

>>739431767
They haven't fully come in. Just waiting at gate.
>>739431753
35N signal Intel analyst

>>739431769
radio? for motor pool guard? this 1960? nigga we got cellphones

>>739431894
>35N
Stop watching me undress nigger

>>739431969
True. I said I don't see anything and they okay go back to shack and that's that. I dunno how to get the mps here with out getting me fucked up

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Post your exact corridinates.

>>739432072
Rollin

>>739432072
Rollll

>>739432071
you havent been in long enough then lol call the mp station and say you saw a black charger swerving with a ranger bat sticker

>>739432072
R0LL

>>739432231
Do it faggot

post your name faggot i wanna look you up

RIG A TRUCK TOO EXPLODE AND RUN LIKE HELL

>>739432498
Fuck. 1 off

>>739432491
Fuck no

Yell HAIL HITLER!

>>739432556
DO IT FAGGOT

>>739432798
Rolllin

>>739432556
NO BALLS!!!!!!!

>>739428792
>>>739428792
>Key a shitty stick figure onto one of them with "Point out where <CO> Touched you"


Rolling for this too

>>739428792

go find a security camera and pull your pants down and start jerking off while in view of the said camera.

>>739432072
Roll.

Spoof nothing.

>>739432072
Roll

>>739432929

reroll

>>739433077
WINRAR!!!do it!

>>739433111
The trips and dubs command it.

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Oh

Fuck a piece of equipment.

>>739433111
Okay tell me how and I will

>>739428792

>/B/
>4chan org/B/

Why do you faggots always fuck this up?

Put on your best or worst Russian accent for the rest of your shift

>>739433257
Idk. Anyone else know how he can find out his exact corrdinates.

>>739431012
Fuckin fag

RIG A HUMVEE TOO EXPLODE YOU BALLESS CUM FOR BRAINS CUCK

>>739433389
Because they're trying to fish oldfags into pointing their errors.

But why that would help any kind of metric on the metadata is the million dollar question.

>>739433429
C'mon man tell me how and I will

>>739433391
'Scuse me tovarish I just have to reroll this

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Renlist you cock guzzler

>>739433745
Reroll

>>739433745
Reroll>>739433745
Re rolll

>>739433257
screenshot your google maps location
or your battalions

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>>739433995

>>739434161
hahahaahha your right next to me fag

trips and ill vist him, i know exactly where you are

>>739434326
C'mon bro bring me a redbull I'll give you my card

>>739434442
need one forreal? i can go give it to you

>>739434506
If you're bored, come swing by. I'm just watching Netflix and I'm new here

>>739434326
>>739434442
>>739434506
>an army of one
i almost cried

Shoot the next soldier that walks by.

>>739434788
Cause I'm trusted with a gun yeah that's funny

>>739434703
i might in the morning you gate guard at reily gate or you at that motor pool?

>>739434868
Motor pool. I'm here til like 0830

>>739434920
ok ill swing on by tomorrow morning during pt, just
keep and eye out for a silver tacoma

>>739435228
We need to somehow keep this thread going till then.

>>739435228
Roger that. I'm passed the parking lot legit just passed the gate on the right in the shack. I'll keep an eye out though

>>739435378
Watch him come by just to shoot you

>>739431894
35M here. What the fuck did you do to get stuck on motor pool guard duty? Really making good use of your clearance and training there.

>>739435378
i know where you need anything else?

>>739435480
I'd be so salty

>>739434161
Why would you give the coordinates to an army base, isnt this treason? Cant all the enemies easily find this now?

lets see your gf

>>739435555
The quads say that saltiness and bullets shall bless your day.

>>739435533
I haven't inprocessed yet so they thought "hey let this guy, who has his full clearance, go sit in a shed all day and do nothing while this guy with no clearance does work all day" you know how the army is for Joe's.
>>739435550
Nah man we good thank you!

>>739434920
you are going to get in trouble for this it seems

>>739435228
>>739434868
^ this person is a sergeant or colonel

you just ratted yourself out

>>739435533
hes prob just a joe man and we are on grb so he cant really do much until field/deployment

Don't forget your PT belt so you don't get hit by a vehicle or some stupid shit.

>>739435757
I have quads and dubs of 5 as my protection. I usually go in raw tho

Will the military let a fat guy with cavitys and adhd join?

fun thread about suicidal fag
>>739434647

>>739435902
Yes.

>>739435902
Mah boi, if you do it right, you can get yourself into the best time travel program in the face of the earth. You get the gun from the guy in the enlisting section and try to shoot your own head.

>>739435757
Do you only know these two ranks? Seems like it

>>739435755
>>739435780
And that's when we'd make up some bullshit like we're practicing Op Recon or something to get outta bullshit like that. With the support of our Platoon Sgt. Can't exactly do my job stateside either. I do know the suckage of spending hours doing jack and shit in the motor pool with 4 deadlined vehicles all above 10 level shit needed.

>>739436352
Really sucks. 35n can do shit stateside, but I guess they'd rather us just sit in sheds.
>military thread now boyz

op who you with its the guy near you

>>739431267
All the way!

>>739436772
I'm chillin with good ol' Netflix and a bottle of dasani

>>739436936
what unit you with lmfao, you really are new to the army

>>739437010
My b. 3rd sfg. I just got out of airborne school right after AIT lol

>>739428792
Jarhead fag here

Take your cover off and wait for an officer to come by and salute

>>739437170
I wear a beret and in the Motor pool we don't salute or wear covers

>>739437262
That's fucking retarded. The Army is weird as shit I swear to god. In the corps we have like max five different covers. Maybe seven. Lemme mentally count.

Seven.

>>739436530
Yeah, our SIGINT guys always had something they could do. Our unit wasn't too keen on shelling out money for training. Did get to go back to Huachuca for some additional stuff, but otherwise we just did stuff the best we could. Our first Platoon Sgt was an 11B reclass, so he helped us with a lot of just regular infantry shit like CQB and room clearing that was actually useful on deployment.

>>739437170
lol marines are dumb :P
go to sleep lance corporal

>>739437409
Fuck you got me.

E-3 signing out.

>>739437114
lol we all did, and thats why you could be with 82nd and hate your life, ill give you my number tomorrow, make sure to call me when shit sounds fishy ill try to help you man

>>739437349
I mean we have like our pc (hat), airborne beret (maroon), and then normal fags get the black beret for dress wear and then obviously we have helmets but not much more than that besides like... an officers dress hat/nco dress hat

>>739437588
I was counting the campaign cover and shit. I didn't count the Kevlar. So eight. Fuck my life

>>739437262
But the million dollar question is: Are you wearing your reflective PT belt for safety?

Don't want to get chewed out by a Sgt Maj with nothing better to do and a stick up their ass.

>>739436281
corporal, major, lieutenant, high master, squadron leader, officer, thats about all I can think

>>739437733
>high master
>squadron leader

What the fuck is this a meme

>>739437386
Since I'm at 3rd sfg we send people all the time to go to schools luckily. Pretty good deal here.>>739437546
Thanks brother i appreciate it. >>739437655
Oh true I forgot the campaign hat and the boonie hat very rarely worn. Plus our pt cap

>>73943783
You lead catchers have a PT cap? What

>>739437489
ill visit you next time i come to jacksonville

>>739437733
What the fuck hahaha
>you've got some nerve coming here high master Johnson

>>739437832
I'm not even counting our beanie or "civilian" gear that isn't technically uniform.

>>739437886
Hard shit, I'm out. Terminal fuckin Lance faggot. Ohio

>>739437915
>what the fuck did you just say to me, leader?

>>739437832
>Oh true I forgot the campaign hat and the boonie hat very rarely worn. Plus our pt cap

I was in the 1st Cav, so we also had our Stetson that we got to wear on Fridays.

>>739438110
Man I want a Stetson just to have it. No other good reasons I can think of

>>739438194
Whatever the fuck a Stetson sounds exactly like the Army version of a Marine Mameluke Sword

>>739438194
Transfer to a Cav unit then (I do NOT recommend it)

>>739438291
One of my Corporal friends went on deployment with his fucking NCO sword. He swore on his life he was gonna get a confirmed kill with a damn sword

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>>739438291
Not me in pic.

>>739438369
That'd be so badass.
>>739438340
I'm a computer nerd, so nah I'm good

>>739435599
its in the united states

>>739432072
Rolllll

If you have MTVs in the motor pool, put a big rock behind the seat so when they lift cab to do PMCS it drops thru the windshield. Bonus points for writing "Gotcha fag" on the rock

>>739438840
This is a good one

>>739438496
Holy shit fuck the the army forever. I have lost all faith

>>739438840
Steal all the drip pans and chalk blocks you can and put them in just one vehicle or just fucking hide them.

>>739439432
No, that's just the Cav.