>>739230538 Well nothing out of the ordinary, girlfriend that i dont love, parents and friends that i care about but not enough to miss. I just wanna get away from it all you know, money isnt an issue, it's not that expensive to just take the cheapest ticket to somewhere.
Hmmm... well if you definitely don't love your gf, get out of that regardless... parents and friends you can stay in touch with if they're important to you. Though four years is a long time, and you may find that people change and drift away in that time.
It's good that money isn't an issue, but I hope you're not planning on flying somewhere and just making a go of it. I've had a number of friends try and do that, and it almost always has ended poorly. It's hard to find jobs in foreign countries, especially if you're somewhere they don't speak a language you're fluent in. If you're going some place you really need to figure out where you're going to be staying when you first arrive, and how long you can afford to that. It's fine to deviate from the plan. I've travelled places and ended up meeting people that I've stayed with, but that honestly takes time to build those relationships.
hmmm... great question. I'd start by reading. Seriously, any subject that is remotely interested find a book on it and see if there's something to it that you'd want to pursue. Rinse and repeat until you find something that's worth your time. Start trying to reach out to people who work in that field. Ask them about the details of their job. Take the plunge.
Is there anything at all that interests you right now?
I don't want to live anymore because life gives me too much worry. However, I am coward enough to not being able to hang myself or some other way. I find life boring, as none of my possible achievements mean anything, since we will die in the end.
Oh damn man. This is definitely a bit beyond my depth. I'm not a certified professional, and I've never been addicted to tobacco, which I understand is a bitch to kick...
That being said, the friends I've had who've wrestled with it have mentioned that their first step was cutting back slightly. A cigarette less a day for a lot of them. They've also said it's helpful to have some specific motivation to it for. For example, I had a friend who's an alcoholic and was drinking dangerously until Trump got elected. He decided it was too stressful to do both at once so he cut out the booze, and been sober 6 months.
Most importantly, get some sort of sponsor. Official or otherwise you need someone who understands what you're going through and can help you out when things get hard.
Yeah. I mean don't let it dissuade you. Travel sounds like it could be great for you! Maybe starting with a slightly shorter trip would be a great idea, get a sense of what you want to do, what you need to prepare for, and then you'll be ready for a bigger trip later.
I'm just a dude on the internet, who has no business dealing with suicidal ideation. A real professional can help you deal with these feelings, that sounds like they could be some sort of chemical imbalance.
THAT BEING SAID. Why is life giving you so much stress? Are there specific things that are stressing you out? I get what you're saying about death being this sort of unavoidable at the fate of every life. This is kind of a random question, but do you ever think about the impact you would have on the world after you left?
>>739232774 My life is stressful because I am weak and can't bear the tension of paying bills, work, engage in social relationship, romantic issues and day-to-day presion like everyone else. Answering your question: my death wouldn't cause too much reactions. My mother said that, if I die, she wouldn't miss me (I know she said that when she was angry, but still...).
I am quiting my job and selling my house to move to a smaller town out of the city. I am getting nervous because there are not a lot of jobs down there right now but I need to get away from the city. should I do it?
Well I don't buy that your weak. Or maybe I just don't believe that's a permanent state of being. We can improve. It may be that these challenges are more difficult for you than they are for others, but you can make them easier for yourself.
Also- that fucking sucks what your Mom said. That is a shitty fucking thing to say, and you every right to be angry, sad or whatever else you feel about it. But your life does matter. The things you do affect the people around you in ways you probably don't see as you live your day to day life.
You can also, consciously affect the world around you. Are there any things you see in your community that you would want to improve or build? Go build them! You can give your life meaning in thing you build that last after you.
BUT AGAIN, this is all very easy for me to say, it sounds like you're dealing with some tough shit. Are you seeking any help?
Just feeling like a shitlord. Not on top of my anything. Having trouble quitting weed. Miss my kid. Miss my friends. Miss my mom. Had my first psychotic break due to mental illness...had delusions and sudden intense paranoia. Made some big time mistakes and ended up alone and enfeebled trying to stabilize on medicine and quit nicotine and weed.
Sucks and having a hard time mobilizing to do anything like I could in my old life. I feel regressed and useless. After that break my mind hasn't felt right and it feels like I can't trust any assessment of my own being and mind.
Agree with the other guy who asked about your partner. I think you really need to discuss your feelings for this other person with her. Do you want to leave you partner? Would you want to leave your partner regardless of this fwb?
not particularly. I just drone on day after day, waiting to see if anything peeks my interest or something happens. My interests and disinterests shift so constantly that is becomes hard to know what i actually like and what is just a spur of the moment interest.
>>739235064 I wouldn't leave my partner unless she was leaving her partner for me. It's not something we discuss. We've kept it secret from then for awhile but it's just casual. I don't know if she has the same feelings for me that I have for her.
Hmmm... well it depends on your skills. What are some other jobs you've had? The job market is good right now, so you picked a good time to be entering. Are there any specific things you'd be interested in?
Regarding a job interview... I think it's a good idea to not down-play the things your good at. I have a tendency to be really self-deprecating in general, and that extends to job interviews where I'll sort of go out of my way not to praise myself so I don't sound stuck up. I don't think that works for me. I end up looking like someone who has nothing going on. Be up front, if you're good with systems, tell them! If you have a good memory for faces, tell them! If you're punctual, tell them! Whatever it is it will help your case, even if it seems small. Are there any specific things about the interview process you're nervous about?
I feel like My thoughts don't come from one source i have like more than 5 thinking parts in my brain that each has his own different way of thinking and sometimes they all give thoughts at the same time. This sometimes was good for me ( i can think in different ways and see stuff from a different perspective) and many times bad especially when giving opinions (when i need to write an essay or a paragraph in a specific time i had problem that i wrote something then a part of mind said if you said that it would better than another part did the same then another one did the same which leads to a paragraph with topics that are unrelated to each other) My question i do all people feel the same or i have some sort of mental illness (btw the transparent part of me said what i said qnd it was hard to write that i checked twice for it )
Dude, that is fucking terrible. I'm so, so sorry you're going through that. It's going to take time to get through that, and honestly it will always be a part of you.
I don't know if your familiar with the play Rabbit Hole, but there's a line about dealing with death of someone close. In the case of the play, the main character's son. And one of the characters says it's like a rock that carry around with you. And day by day it gets a little smaller, and a little easier to carry, until someday it's small of enough that you can slip it into your pocket and forget about from time to time. It'll still be there, and you will still be reminded sometimes, but you'll learn to manage it, and eventually it will become one of those things that is just part of who you are. Does that make sense? I don't know if it helps a lot, but I've alway liked the sentiment.
Do you have anyone helping you through it right now?
>>739235920 Being in a relationship provides certain financial benefits that make my life more comfortable than being single. ie I can afford a nice apartment, can live with more luxuries than I could provide on my own. My current gf isn't faithful either though. I snatched her off her bf a few years back. So id be leaving a cheater for potentially a hotter cheater who is also a better lay. Why does life have to be so complicated.
Hmmm... so it sounds like you have some people around you... sound like Mitchell may be better than the discord group... Is there something specific that you're looking for that those groups can't/won't give you?
It's fucking arbitrary, but historically it's because it's when governments decided that men become big and strong enough to go fight in wars. That arbitrarily chosen age became the age of majority in most countries because it was felt that at that age, if people were ready to fight, they were ready to do anything else they might need to survive in life.
It's a dumb arbitrary thing. I was a dumbass when I was 18. Most people are dumbasses when they are 18. But some people are dumbasses until the day they die, and so we have to kick of the training wheel at some point.
>>739229867 i guess it's the end of the road. girlfriend was playing dumb games over text by just replying with "what" which i guess was a test. she was having an attitude so i snapped at her telling her to never talk to me again if she's not willing to respect me. wont say anything, just opens my messages. dunno what the fuck im gonna do.
>>739229867 Last year I lived with my ex and her family. She was a worthless piece of shit, her mom was a pillhead, little brother was a spoiled little fuck, and dad was a schizophrenic horrible fucked up person. He also had a gun and pointed at me many times also threatening to kill me and cut my throat. One time he took a shot at me and the bullet whizzed by my ear. Fucking sucked. They also starved me and took most of my money from my job. I dont live there anymore, but I want to burn their fucking house down. Motherfuckers deserve to die. I hate them so much still. I moved back to my parents house only weighing 100 pounds. I was a fucking mess. But, my mom took care of me. Fattend me up with good home cooking. Now I weigh 180 pounds and work out alot. I still have nightmares of my exs dad still though. He also tried to rape me before I moved out. I almost called the cops on him, but I just wanted to get the fuck out of there. Worst experience of my life. I thought ptsd was something only soldiers get when coming back from war, but I never thought Id have it from something like this. I have nightmares, flashbacks, anger, depression, I can hear his voice in my head sometimes.. What can I do to put this all behind me?
Fuck man, that's heavy. I'm sorry your haveing to deal with all that shit. That being said, you should feel good that you've already put yourself on the road to recovery. It sounds like what you went through was pretty fucking difficult, so it's no surprise that you don't feel like your minds back to 100% yet. It's no surprise that it's been hard to reconnect with people. Have you tried to reach out to the people in your life and explain what you were going through?
>>739236637 Nope. She gets jealous really easily. Have to do extraneous effort to hide my cheating. Disabled text notifications, hidden message icon, private mode pictures. In case I accidentally leave my phone lying around. It's rare but I have been caught in the past that way. If I even talk to another girl she gets really territorial. Dynamite sex for a few days then it's back to sporadic.
>>739235471 Thanks for addressing my post. I've experience in retail but I'm looking for something that's much steadier, rewarding and a little fun, too, as I enrich myself and ideally, the lives of others, too. Well, to that last question, it's just a matter of getting my foot in the door, so to speak, in a lucrative career and making the best kind of impression on my interviewer that will leave them with no choice but to take me on as a new employee. Obviously, eye contact, firm handshake, knowing all that you can about the company before getting in the door will help my chances.
Okay... well that is different. Not the way that I necessarily think. But I'm not so sure it's bad either. How do these different "sources" work during your day-to-day life? Say if you were going to the store to buy groceries?
Do these different sources ever give rise to thoughts that you find disturbing?
couldnt really tell, i think it was a little bit of both, but this was all fucking day so i woke up a few hours ago thinking she'd want to talk, does the same shit and i snapped. i was trying to take her out on a fancy date or some shit
>>739237832 told her after i was pissed to try to get her to just apologize but pretty sure she shrugged it off. she's kinda weird always has those girl's nights where they get drunk and smoke weed at someone's house. she was out camping w/ her friends last night so im just assuming that's it too
Well dude, first of all, good on you for getting the fuck out of there. I'm sorry you had to go through that, and you've already taking the first and most important step just by leaving. It makes sense that you would be having PTSD from something like that, and I'm glad you're in a safe place for the time being.
Honestly, it sounds like you would really benefit from talking to therapist about what you went through. PTSD is some really tough shit that will stick with you a long time if you try to ignore it. I'm just some dude on the 4chan. A qualified professional can both diagnose what you're going through, and take you on a path that will help you work through what happened to you in a supportive environment, so that you can start to control it instead of the other way around.
The thing you do NOT want to do is self-medicate. No matter what form that might take. People who have PTSD are way more prone to addiction when they try to use drugs or alcohol to cope with their issues.
>>739237765 Dude, shes most likely cheating, going to cheat, or has lost all interest in you... Im sorry, but it happened to me. Dont put effort and time into someone when dont give a shred of fuck about you. Just move on. Find someone better who cares about you and your feelings. Thats why Im not dating right now. Im waiting for someone really good to cross my path. Someone whos not a horrible self centered cheating cunt.
Dude. I've been following your whole message chain. My advice to you is don't fucking cheat. You'll just be stuck in a fucked up cycle of constantly trying to trade up and having other people try to trade up on you. Find some one you actually fucking care about, make sure they can "keep up with you" or whatever bullshit you were saying earlier, and stick with them until the relationship fails on its own merits.
It's totally normal to feel attracted to people outside of the relationship that you're in, but if you keep fucking around just because you can, you're completely fucking up your chance of having an actual meaningful romantic relationship with another human being.
28. It's a bit hard for me to gauge my interests. A number of years ago i attempted to become a computer technician, but something happened that stopped me from pursuing that. I can't tell if it was because i some how passed the first course without understanding anything or if i had no interest in it at all.
Other than that i enjoy fantasy(games, movies, books and anime/manga), but i can't see that becoming anything more than just something to retreat back to when i need the escapism.
Fighting was something that has popped into my mind from time to time, like learning how to do some kind of martial art or boxing. Shame is i live in a pretty shitty old timer retirement city where we are in short supply of fun places to visit but in plenty supply of liquor stores.
Yeah man! It sound like you know all the good stuff to do in an interview I doubt you'll have any troubles there. I'm really just spit-balling out of nothing here, but do you have any interest in some kind of teaching or other work with kids? That sounds like it might be up your alley.
I have the exact same fucking problem. And it affects so many subtle stupid things in my life. This biggest thing that helps me is articulating why I'm saying no in a gentle way to the people I'm saying no to. If my boss is asking me to work a day I can't or don't want to work, rather than just saying "no" flat out, I find it helps if I say "no I've got an important meeting with some friends that day" or "no, I'm working really late the night before, and I don't think I'll be able to perform well with so little sleep." I always feel like giving people a reason let's them know that I'm not being just some arbitrary asshole.
Honestly though I'm still working on improving this in myself and would appreciate any tips other people have.
>>739238167 Thanks man. I appreciate the feedback. I started seeing a therapist a few months ago. It helps. Hes a great guy. Ive slowed down on drinking and smoking weed but I smoke a lot of cigarettes. Need to quit eventually. Im happy I have a mom who is supportive. Im 21, and my mom is 59. It sucks. I wish she was a lot younger because i know she wont be around as long as I want her to...my dads a dick. Used to be an alcoholic, younger bro is autistic literally brain damage, not an autistic joke. I dropped out of highschool in 10th grade and dont have a GED. Kinda fucked my life up. But, Im getting better slowly. Looking for a job and just trying to get though one day at a time.
I think you might have to start by apologizing to her dude. Even if it's not your fault. Even if you really don't feel bad for it.
If the relationship is important to you, I think that's gonna be the way to salvage. Fair or not, I think she's pissed that you snapped at her, and might honestly be a little bit worried about continuing on with you. You can have a discussion about what happened afterwards and present your point of view, but unfortunately I think that apology has to be the first step man.
>>739229867 I just found out that my father is a narcissist that has ruined my life but on the other hand he is sick and will probably die soon, I want to go no contact but i feel guilty about it, what should i do?
>>739236435 >>739236435 I have friends and family, but i have isolate myself from them. I love and hate solitude at the same time. Having a woman to travel with me would be nice. but the thing is i can't get sex off my mind, once the need is satisfy i will want to get back to my work and be left alone, because of that i am hard to form a meaningful relationship with woman.
>>739237471 When i buy groceries i mostly follow list but when i buy groceries i keep putting stuff in cart and returning it back until i tell myself to stop and end up buying stuff I don't need. Sometimes i get a lot of a different thoughts about a thing that i get confused and just stop myself from thinking. Also i Don't have a personality i just change my personality to fit the person or group of people i am with. is that normal?
Are there any places that sell games/movies/anime in your neighborhood that might be hiring? That could be a good first step to get you close to something you're interested in. Maybe meet some like-minded people, and start work on something together. Finding a group of people who inspire you could be the key to giving you that motivation.
That's some weak shit man. Don't abdicate responsibility that way, you are the sum of your own choices.
You're never going to stop being attracted to other people. That's a fact. I'm getting married in two months, but when I was at the gym today, I was checking out every. single. girl.
That's the fucking human condition. What you have to do is make a conscience choice not to pursue it. You have that will power you just have to exercise it. And if you aren't willing to exercise that will power to stay faithful, than the person you're in a relationship with wasn't worth it anyway.
If you want to move onto something that's gonna last, you gotta stop.
Or just keep fucking around, it's your life, but you have to acknowledge that shit for what it is.
Sounds like you're really doing all the right stuff man. Congratulations. Seriously you are on a road to a great recovery. Maybe getting that GED is a worthwhile project now that you're out of that hellhole you were in.
Not OP, but I'm in a similar situation. I've hated my mom all my life, and now she has end stage COPD. She's got less than five years left to live. My family still speak to her for reasons that are beyond me, but I stopped speaking to her a year ago. If someone treats you like shit, then it doesn't matter what their relationship to you is: they mistreated you, and if they're not capable/willing to change, then they don't deserve your forgiveness. If this man is truly a narcissist, then he will never believe himself capable of wrongdoing. Look into your heart, anon. It will tell you everything you need to know.
Don't let a narcissist make you feel guilty. That's how they fucking prey on you. If I were you, I might arrange everything to get away in advance, then go in for one final talk with him. Get some closure, and then get the hell out.
If you want, you can leave some person you trust as an intermediary between you and your Dad so that there's some way to contact if something changes, but don't feel like you owe him shit.
>>739238673 Any teacher, even the most seasoned, experienced, and improbably sought-after for their ability to get others to engage and get schooled (in a good way) in a new topic, always seems to have something new to learn so they stay sharp and at the top of their game. I haven't really considered it in terms of being a professor or anything but it may be a potential career for me later on down the line, relating complex, strange topics to things they are already familiar with as long as they're critically open-minded, that's the goal--even now when you may come across someone or people that is/are a little too stubborn about something they might not even understand.
>>739240009 I see what your saying but I'm always stuck on the possibility of something better than what I have. It always feels like what I've got is never good enough so I'm always passively searching for something else to try. If it comes my way I pursue it. If it doesn't I stick with that o have for the time being.
At what age do you guys think its too late to turn your life around? I''m 23 (I know I'm young) and I've just been stuck in this shit job as a waiter for years now. I dropped out of school last year because I didn't like my major and I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.
I want to try and find something new and do something better with my life. I've been told that I have time, but at the same time I feel like I'm already out of time. I'm just too depressed to do anything and I feel like because of this its just putting me back further.
That's abnormal. And it sounds like it might be adversely affecting your life. I would consider getting a professional opinion. I'm just some random dude online, and it sounds like you may have some sort multi-personality/schizophrenia situation going on. I really don't mean to alarm you, but I would see if someone with some more knowledge than I have might be able to give you an accurate diagnosis.
I hear what you're saying... I think value is added to relationship the longer it lasts though. You and your partner get better at sex. Better at anticipating what each other want. Better at knowing how to ahve discussions that don't turn into fights. Better at how to support each other when things start to suck.
Start a new relationship and you throw all that other stuff away.
kimda feel like a piece of shit. the only thing i really know in this world is how to work on cars. 18 years old, senior in HS. never had 1st kiss. gf, never had sex. feel like a loser.All i do is work on my and my friends cars and work a shitty job. inb4 "youre still young" yeah i know but still feel like a loser
>>739241621 Since I was around 18 or so and the memories of my dad throttling my sister, my mom waking me up screaming when I was 12 because my sister tried to kill herself with pills and other late night disturbances.
Lots of late night disturbances, combined with emotionally abusive/neglectful parents. I really couldn't get any help because I was tiny manlet mode all the way grade school through high school. Bullied pretty bad. Both parents were overworked, mom drank, dad made fun of me if I showed sad. One time he made fun of me in front of his drinking buddies when I was crying, I think I was 10 when this happened.
Anyway, the memories have been coming back to haunt me recently and its been going on for about four years.
>>739241217 Those things are boring and predictable. When you know exactly how to get someone off sex becomes so trivial. I can get my gf off in minutes and then she's done. Fwb we can fuck for hours and it's amazing the whole time. Most of the time I tune my gf out when she's talking or complaining about life, work or whatever. It's the same dribble all the time. Fwb doesn't really talk about things like that. Complains about her bf sometimes but we don't talk about her feelings or shit. If I start a new relationship I have to wait x amount of time for new girl to move in with me because of social standards and shit like that, and I have to pay full rent on my apartment which is like 3 blocks from the beach. So it's expensive as fuck.
1. Get cash. Long-term camping supplies are a bit spendy. 2. Start by back-packing. There are probably clubs near you that could help you get started on this if you don't have experience already. They can turn you on to good spots, good gear, and good practices. 3. Research hunting and fishing rules in your area. See how you can incorporate that into your backpacking for more extensive trips!
>>739234105 I lost my mom almost 4 months ago to cancer. I know that feel man. It gets better. Slowly but surely. Day by day; hour by hour. You'll have a good week and a very bad week following. It'll take probably 18 months for you to feel like you can start moving on.
>>739241379 >What makes you happy these days? nothing really. That was also another reason why I dropped out of school. I've switched major 3 times and I still can;t find something that will make me happy.
I've been told to go into trade, but that doesn't interests me. I've also bee told to go to the army, but I'm not mentally ready for that shit
I've also bee told try and get an IT cert, but thats not working out.
tbh I just want a nice comfy office job where I make pretty good money and I'm with positive coworkers.
>>739229867 i have a alcohol problem, well its more that i get bored and have to go out but i usually end up going to this shitty bar most night im fine dont get drunk but then some nights i get trashed hang out with shitty people and end up doing drugs, i dont know why i do this to myself and i know that if i dont go to that bar it would solve alot of my problems but its so hard to kick a habit
>>739242625 I tried seeking professional help at my college once. I went in there and told the therapist that I was having a hard time keeping up the appearance because I was forcing myself to act okay but I was falling apart.
She gave me a pamphlet on "how to make yourself smile". I had my gun in my mouth later that week. Pic related is what I have for CC. I loaded it up with hollowpoints and pointed the barrel upwards because I'm not a complete idiot. Googled where the brain stem was in relation to the roof of my mouth.
Anyway, I stopped seeking professional help and have just been trying to keep myself distracted since. I work a lot and go to the gym, also I drink.
After using the university psychiatric services I don't know if I can trust professional help again.
That stupid AA saying has most of the wisdom you'll need.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference."
It's corny as fuck but there's truth there. You have to try and acknowledge what things are actually helping you in life. What is worth getting worked up over, and what is just trying to squeeze blood from a stone. Most of your grudges cannot help you get where you want.
Sorry to hear about your trauma man. It's okay to take time working on that.
I hear whispers and breath sound at night when i am trying to sleep if i ignore them they just get louder and louder to the level where i start shaking and i feel like my heart is going to stop from fear. This also give me fear of silence (I can't sleep if there isn't a sound) I haven't slept properly for two days from a long time
>>739243015 Lived with a few roommates. Didn't work out. Tried sleeping with their girlfriends. Actually succeeded with 2. Maybe you're right though. Never really thought of it like that. I've been dating for about 10 years and in that time I don't think I've been single for more than a month..its always been like one after the other like it was what was normal or something.
>>739243963 >I don't think they could possibly be worse than that other one. That's honestly what keeps me going. I got a pretty dark sense of humor from growing up and honestly I just intend to keep living just so I can see the new stuff that crops up every few weeks. Its like a show.
But yeah, I'm trying to eventually not be bothered by it. Every now and again I spend a night sober just thinking about stuff and trying to not be bothered.
>>739236767 okay fuckers, i'm back. girlfriend was playing mind games on me the whole time, but i was sort of tipped off by her sister based off of her snapchat story. she's drunk and says she's gonna kick my ass. she's driving to my house right now with her gay friend so i guess i'm gonna have to sucker punch her
How do i get my friend to move his ass. This piece of shit won't leave his house unless i say something about food. He definetely knows his health is a risk. Everytime i ask him if he wants to run oder do any exercise, he suddenly is busy.
>>739229867 I've been wanting to kill myself for the longest time, I have let myself and all those who love me down and am generally just disappointed in how I chose to spend my life and don't wish to continue. However, my mother loves me with all her heart and has a had a terrible life full of sad deaths and I am what she considers "her last friend". I don't want to leave her alone in this world because I care too much about her. I also love my father, but the feelings are not very well returned, he sees me as pathetic and a sad waste of life (this he has told to me personally). What should I do?
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