Autistic things you did as a child. >Be me, 7 y/o >Worship

If you were Buzz Lightyear, did you cum in pies?

>>738756726
Oh dude, all the time. Nary a moment went by that I wasn't cuming in pies.

>>738756465
>be me and my best friend 7 y/o
>we both loved submarines especially the ww2 german ones
>at school we would play submarine
>stood in front of some fence acting like submarine captains
>Giving out commands and spotting ships
>HOLY SHIT DEPTH CHARGES
>with both start shaking around like the do in the movies yelling ALARM
>we would do that as often as possible
>nobody else shared such love for submarines hence nobody played with us

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>>738756465
>be me
>yeah 10 (britfag)
>waiting in line for lunch
>pretty big line, I was there for like 10 minutes
>some dick ass year 8 bunks the line in front of me
> ask him to move
>he mockingly says "make me"
>I walk out the line about 5-6 metres away from him
>I barge into him at full speed
>maximumoverdrive.gif
>I send the kid flying into a wall at mach speed
>he fractures 2 ribs and dislocates his shoulder
>I get suspended for 3 weeks
>mfw I severely harmed a 13 year old for bunking the line

>>738756465
>Be me, 8 y/o
>Pokemon is the shit
>Get into special "camp" that I have to take to skip third grade during the summer
>Camp is actually hardcore testing practice
>Last day of camp we get to bring sleeping bags and hang out
>My one asthma bro and I bring our gameboys and link cable
>He won't trade me a Weedle (I have red version)
>REEEEEEE
>Pull his cartridge out of his gameboy
>Run out of the room with my gameboy (trade cable still connected) and his cartridge
>Use craft table safety scissors to cut his trade cable in half
>Hear him crying for help from teacher
>Run to bathroom
>Throw his blue version in the toilet
>Pull down my shorts
>Sit
>Shit all over his weedle
>Won't flush
And that's why I didn't get to skip 3rd grade.

>>738757596
As a teacher, I love these stories. So many times I just want to haul off and hit a kid.

>>738757596
alpha

>>738757596
that's actually quite alpha

>>738757803
Holy shit dude

>>738757803

I think you've got your story a bit backward.

Weedle is more common is Red, Caterpie is more common in Blue. Both, however, can be found in both versions.

Then again, you were both eight, so you were both autistic little shits.

>>738757852
>>738757965
it's not alpha when it's just sperg rage. not to mention he clearly knee how weak he was, thus needing 5 metres to charge the cuck. beta at best.

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>>738758414
>clearly knee

>>738758414
I was 15 dude

>>738758466
dude where can i buy those

>>738758414
>beta at best

Just like your spelling.

>>738758537
nordstrom lul

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>>738758658
>being this autistic
poor babby

>>738756465
>Be 5 y/o
>have crush on pink ranger
>carry around pink ranger in my underwear

>>738758161
>The super common pokemon was in his version all along
>Implying this doesn't make the story even better

>Be me, 5 years old.
>Have rabbit-like ball shits.
>Poop me pants.
>Plant poop beneath passenger seat while mommy and stepdaddy are out of the car.
>They find poop soon later.
>lole

>>738756465
>Be 11 or so
>GBA fairly new, I just found out it existed
>Want one horribly, but know parents will never buy me
>Take Gamecrazy/Target video game ads that come in the mail to look at all the awesome GBA titles
>Tear reviews out of the GamePro/Nintendo Power issues at the library
>Spend hours reading about GBA, looking at pics of GBA
>Cut the GBA out of a full page add and pretend it's real and I'm playing it
>Hide all the contraband behind my bed because I stole from the library
>One day wake up at like one in the AM because dreaming about GBA
>Look behind bed, see GBA
>Legit believe I have wished for a GBA so hard that I willed it into existance
>It's the paper cutout that I made
>Roll over to go back to sleep, notice leg is wet
>First ever wet dream was about GBA

>>738758414
doesn't matter how he won the fight as long as he laid the kid out

>>738759098
FortyKeks.jpg

>>738756465
>Be me
>12
>Not allowed to play more than 30 min of vidya per day except fridays when mom and dad go out together
>Not allowed to use the internet while their gone (EV1 dot net dialup, at the time "catch a new wave, it's everyone's internet!") because dad super paranoid about viruses
>Learn from a sticky note near the computer that the password is my parent's wedding anniversary and the mormon temple they got married in
>Next friday, Askjeeves search for "boob"
>Eventually end up on Ebaum/Newgrounds/ABS masterbating to hentai trivia games
>cum all over keyboard without thinking
>Sister comes in after I put my dick away but before I clean keyboard
>says she's gonna tell mom and dad I used the computer unless I let her play Jumpstart
>Let her play jumpstart on the cum covered keys
>Tell her it's icing from the cinnamon rolls we had for dessert the night before
>She licks the icing off the keyboard and keeps playing
>Ask her what it tasted like
>Icing anon, duh
>Now I have incest fetish

>>738759098
My word.

>Be me
>femanon
>Like 9 or something i really don't remember
>Start reading pokemon bdsm fanfictions or some shit online
>ohboi.jpeg
>Grab my old barbies that have been gathering dust for a few years
>undress them, tie their hands and feet together with hair ties
>beat them up before getting bored
>My grandma finds them later on the floor
>"Anon? Why are your barbies naked and tied?"
>Ohfuck
>"They're naked cause they're on the beach. The hair ties are just bracelets!"
>Grandma is suspicious but she buys it
>Phew.jpg

>>738759469
hot

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>>738759469

>>738758414
This little bitch is mad that a 10yo was more alpha that he ever will be.

>>738756465
I believed i was a train during my first year of school (4, 5, 6 y. o.?) Trains eat and poop, but trains don't talk (never with kids, thats for sure!) or touch his own penis while peeing. So teachers think im retarded (i don't talk and cant even go to the bathroom) and write my parents about this. They don't understand It, because im a train in school, but at home I'm some Pancho Villa cartoon i don't remember very well today. Etc...

>be 4
>want baby sibling to play with
>go to park with mum one day
>see baby in pram
>steal baby
>take baby to mum
>mum freaks and yells at me
>had to give baby back

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>>738759716
???????????????????????

>>738759469
>>738759509
It was only a matter of time before it got sexual

>>738759716
>Trains eat and poop

Scuse me?

I wrote a Harry Potter copy, titled: "Harold Saw". Some 80 pages or some shit. Was 9? 10? Also believed I was a wizard and would get a hogwarts letter in mail on 11th bday.

>>738756465
Not me, but
>Babysitting GF's much younger cousin
>We are 17, cousin is 9
>My mom has substituted for cousin's class, warned me to watch out for him cuz he's fucking nuts
>Don't beleive her, seems pretty chill
>He's kicking and screaming because he doesn't want his parents to leave
>They act like this is totally normal
>He takes a meat tenderizing hammer thing out of the sink and throws it at the sliding glass back door
>Shatters
>Parents chuckle, say "the broom is in the pantry, by sweetie" and leave
>He starts jumping up and down on the shards of glass (had shoes on)
>On shard goes through his shoe and cuts him
>Angry screaming turns to crying screaming
>He runs away to his parents' room (where the big TV is)
>Little drops of blood on the carpet
>Clean up the glass best as I can
>Go to check on cousin, he's naked in his parents bed watching the Heavy Metal movie, tiny dick is rock hard
>Call his parents, tell him what's going on
>They're mad that I let him get blood on the carpet and ask me to just close the door and give the kid his privacy
>Don't pay me because carpet
Jokes on them though, I took every virginity that GF had.

>>738759509
No more autistic than standard bdsm lovers. Just a kid who also had/liked kid stuff. Smooth cover that abused that fact too.

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>>738760388
>tiny dick is rock hard
You should have helped him

>>738760388
How could white people not beat their children after that?

>>738760811
Child*

>>738759707
Year 10 is like 14-15.

>>738760094
>believed I was a wizard and would get a hogwarts letter in mail on 11th birthday

If you didn't think this, then you're autistic. Or too old to have enjoyed Harry Potter at the right time. Normies of all stripes hoped they'd get that letter.

>>738759509
I remember tying a naked barbie to a chair when I was like 5. And I liked it. I also thought about my brother tying me and my friend up naked and torturing us. I also googled boobs and stuff. This was all before I even knew what porn or sex was. Also femanon

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>>738759509
You must be a complete freak in bed now.

>>73876111
Nice trips. First thing popped in my head. What? You want to hear about the time I put the head of my penis in my brothers ass? Cuz' that never happened.

>>738759999
I was young and pretty retarded. Now i'm just retarded.

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>Be me, 5.
>Learn about april fools day.
>You are allowed to play pranks on people
>Not quite sure qualifies as a prank but I'm on board.
>Mom bends over to pick something up.
>This is my chance!
>Pick up bat.
>Homerun right across her ass.
>MFW she did not think this was a good prank.

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>>738761186
Marry me?

>>738756465
>be me
>5 y/o
>hanging out at day care during hot day in summer
>in small inflatable pool with two girls
>one is my age, 5, other is 3
>decide I'm the lifeguard
>lifeguards get to tell people to do whatever they want as long as they're in the pool
>decide everyone has to bear their naked genitals every time I blow my whistle
>have no whistle
>can't actually whistle
>literally just say, in sing-song voice, "Whistle!" every couple of minutes
>girls quit what they're doing to come up to me and show me puss while I pull down trunks to show peen
>we touch each other and talk about differences
>every time they start to get disinterested I just roll with it and pull trunks back up, swim around
>but I'm just biding my time to say whistle again
>at some point showing them what a boner is like because I'm excited by everything
>pulling my foreskin back to show them that too
>day care lady happens to look outside at that moment
>"Anon, don't do that!"
>fuck you, you're no lifeguard, you didn't blow a whistle
>we all keep showing off secretly at the sound of my whistle until she comes outside to bring us back in

To this day, lifeguard fetish. Baywatch was a godsend as a kid.

>be me at 4
>hears that old nursery rhyme "Old lady who Swollowed a Fly"
>now super afraid of swollowing a fly and dying
>every time the thought of a fly passes I hack and spit into my shirt because I got in trouble if I spat on the floor
>this continues
>for the next three years my shirts were constantly damp from spit
>not once did a fly ever go near my face

>>738759716
Wut

>>738763010
I think the noise you're actually looking for is "woo-wooooooo!"

>>738759716
I had to read this 3 times to understand
Just green text ffs

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>>738759716
dafuq?

>>738762235
You made me giggle
>>738761186
Why was I so sexual as a kid? Is this shit normal

>>738763596
Yeah I believe it's normal. I just decided to post my 9 year old barbie bdsm fiasco on this thread because i was too lazy to cover up my tracks and my grandma most likely knew what i did.

>>738756465
>be me
>11
>have biggest crush on this girl I've never spoken to before
>she's the most beautiful girl in the world
>decide I'll admit my love in the form of a gift I earned, on valentine's day
>read books and take quizzes over them to save up Accelerated Reader points, because these can be used in small store for small prizes
>actually just a utility closet with boxes of some cheap toys and shit
>look around, find a pen
>a glorious pen, in the shape of an alligator
>it's covered in glitter
>girls love alligators and glitter
>buy the pen
>stare at the girl all through class, putting way too much energy into keeping pen secret
>recess comes
>spend 15 minutes almost going up and talking to her
>heart is pounding, so nervous
>finally muster up the courage
>give her alligator
>"Ha-ha-happy Valentine's Day!"
>run away
>phew, glad that's over
>I wonder when we'll get married and have kids of our own
>another girl comes up to me, friend of crush, and laughs at me for having a crush on her friend
>she has pen
>gives it back to me and says "she doesn't want it"
>spend the rest of recess trying not to cry
>throw pen away
>vow she'll still be mine one day

Never spoke to her again.

One time a kid I didn't want to sit by me on the bus sat by me and i pinched his ass as he sat down and he bit my hand hard and now he's gay.

>>738763596
No, it is definitely not normal. That's why you are on /b/ with the rest of us. That being said I was equally sexual at that age. The funny thing was even though I knew about sex it took me a lot longer to discover that's how babies were made. I figured growing a baby was just something that happened to women and they had to be surgically removed.

>>738763939
This reminds me of when I had a crush on this guy, which was really just an obsession and I asked for his number even though I barely knew him.

He said no and i cried later

>>738763941
One time I hung out with a friend at his house because he could draw a sick ass Charizard by hand. We got into his pool and stripped naked when his mom left to go to the store. Put our peenors up against the jets of water because they felt nice and touched each other a lot. Now he's gay.

>>738764021
I remember thinking babies came out of the ass like poop because I thought the vagina was too small.

>>738756465
not autism
you're all retarded faggots as usual

>>738764203
should've given him an alligator pen

>>738764378
kek

>>738764364
>not autism
>retardation

Now you're just splitting hairs.

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>>738764378
>>738763939

>>738759716
AuTiSm

>>738759098
Nigga you came for a game boy

>>738757596
fucking bitch had it coming

>>738764552
>recessflashbacks.jpg
>fucking triggered

That shit cost me over 100 AR points too. Like 3 Goosebumps books.

>>738761186
Tits or gtfo you lying wizard and that's the same for the previous "femanon"

>>738757842
Wtf there are teachers on 4chan

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>>738764021
>Be me, 6.
>Find out aunt is pregnant with first cousin.
>"Pregnant?"
>"Its means a baby is growing inside of her anon."
>Holy shit WTF.
>Does that really happen? Can human beings just grow inside of other human beings?
>We go over to look at her prego belly. My curiosity is peaked.
>Try to find some way to express all the questions that are in my head. How is it eating? Does it pee? Can they feel the same things? Can they her eachother's thoughts?
>The question I end up asking instead: "What would happen if it died inside of you.?"
>HFW

>>738764662
I know. When people asked my name, i would answer Pancho or nothing at all (train) My parents were allways ashamed of me lol

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>>738758161

>>738757596
I often think that if I no longer care enough to try to live, I'll take out an asshole driver who cuts in front of me in a similar way. Just keep going the same speed instead of slamming on my brakes, make him forever regret being a prick.

It's so tempting every time it happens.

>>738764807
That has never worked Desu unless they start the thread. Hoping this will happen has the same chance as you do to stop being a faggot

>>738764284
Well you were half right, it is too small. That shit rips.

>>738759037
>lole
>still autistic

>>738764995
those are called suicidal thoughts anon

>>738759098
instead of stealing from the library you should have just stolen a fucking GBA, dimwit

>>738764857
Yeah there are a few
Some are oldfags who stuck with this sight through highschool, uni, and still,

>>738759469
>mormon temple
>incest fetish
yup

>>738764807
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
>caring this much about "confirming" whether or not a story is true on 4chan

There's the real autism.

>>738759509
tits or gtfo

>>738765435
*sigh* You have caught me. I am actually a dog in disguise.

>>738759716
>teachers think im retarded
because you were and probably still are

>>738756726
Underrated post

>>738759847
Kek

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>Be me
>Get first nerd gun
>Carry it constantly
>Shoot brother when he does not expect
>Eventually it wears out and the gun no longer works
>(It was an older Nerf gun because this would be in 2004ish so this was a problem with them)
>Decided to give it a burial
>was sad AF
>weeks go by
>Find brothers airsoft pistol
>Shoot him once before i get it stolen and shot in the back several times

>>738758466
Underrated post. Where the fuck do you find that and why do you know?
This is when this anon is autist

>>738759098
huehuehuehuehuue

>>738757134
please tell me you went to school dressed as a nazi one day

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>>738756726

>>738763941
and so are you

>>738761115
Keep telling yourself that.

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>be me
>go to kindergarten
>never play with other kids
>read books about space instead
Also
>be six year old me
>go to library with mom
>borrow a book about trains

>>738765871
>it was all over utub for like a month
what

>>738766584
Is that an autistic way of saying jewtube? No idea what utub is...

>>738756465
> be me around 4 y/o
> other kid during holidays keeps destroying every sandcastle i build
> really pisses me off
> take big stone and hit the other kid as hard as i can on the head
> kid going down. blood everywhere. ambulance getting called
> after all he survived without lasting damage .... afaik

also after 26 years i still have to think about that incident from now and then and how bad i felt after hitting him.

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>>738766584
>>738766976

>>738767351
If you're gonna pull that shit at least hit to kill anon.
Rookie shit

>>738756465
lulziiiiiiiiiii

>>738767351
Lil cunt destroyed another man's sand castle. An eye for an eye.

>>738757134
Sounds fun

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I told my kindergarten substitute teacher to "suck my butt until my face caves in".

>mfw she turned out to be a family friend and I saw her at a party a few days after

>>738760811
how do you know they were white?

>>738768818
Who else hires babysitters

>>738768887
Lul'd

>>73876735
Romulus Keksumus

>be me , 12
>toasting bread in toaster to eat to gain caloric fuel for body
>toaster making weird noise, like a buzzing sound
>imagine it exploding
>decide instead of turning it off will engage maximum autism as nobody is around
>I am become counter-strike
>jump out of the way of toaster
>crawl across floor
>jump up, start poking it with a fork
>after several seconds yell BOMB HAS BEEN DEFUSED and pop out toast

>be me
>be 12
>me and friends obsessed with cod
>start pretending were soldiers
>one friend is the sergeant
>me and fat friend run from one end of the playground to the other the entire fucking break
>standing still and talking is overrated >I've got a mission and a fuckload of bombs to dodge
>people looking at us like we're retarded
>niggeridontgiveafuck.jpg
>the autism lived on
Yeah that's about it

>>738759098

>Finishing over the worst gameboy invented

That sucks man. If only you would've known

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>Be kid me
>Fucking love baths
>You know what I love more than relaxing in a warm bath?
>Pissing in a warm bath.
Why you may ask?
>Mum teaches me how to bathe myself so I'm left to my own devices
>Realise I want to pee but the toilet isn't in the bathroom (it was down the hall)
>Fuck it, that's a goddamn quest, I'll piss in the bath
>Tfw peeing in the bath is comfier than using the toilet
>One day my sister and I are sharing the bath for whatever reason and my mum is bathing her
>I'm feelin' the need to go
>Pee right then and there, sister and mother are repulsed and repelled by my golden show
>Mfw she says you're not supposed to pee in the bath

>be me
>be 12 years old
>I was a total ladies man
>I had every girl in school as my girlfriend
>none of them knew
>school talent show coming up
>Valentine's Day too
>decide I'm gonna get all my grillfriends some candy
>flashforward a week
>I bought an enormous bag of m&ms
>sign up to sing in the end by linkin park for talent show
>I walk on stage
>pull bag of m&ms out of ass pocket
>ask all the ladies to get in a line
>I give each of them one m&m
>when I hand them their m&m I say happy Valentine's Day
>I kiss each one of them on the cheek
>They start getting really confused
>My least favorite girlfriend named Bree goes ape shit
>she bends me over her knee and slaps my ass 10 times
>I get up and push her over
>she crawls towards me and bites my leg
>she drew blood
>I got two weeks iss
>she got a warning
>a year later she tries to rape me

>>738765173
>Implying autism fades away

>be me
>came to 4chan
>came back

>>738771739
>be me
>go to 4chan
>come back
>leave during exodus to infinity chan
>leave infinity chan
>year passes
>come back to 4chan
Wtf is with this place. Should be illegalized dammit

>>738770590
> take bath with sister
> ask her where girl's pee comes from
> she shows me
> tell her not to tell mom
> mom was standing in the doorway the whole time

my sister forgot, but i still masturbate thinking about my her 3 year old bean

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>Be me, 10 years old
>Dad finds this cool ass job in Deutschland
>We move there
>I can't speak any German
>Been there for only 3-4 days
>Watches TV the night before my first day of school
>There's this documentary on about this scary looking motherfucker with a mustache
>Starts mumbling the words he's saying
>They're stuck in my mind
>ohno.jpg
>Goes to school.
>German kids start bullying me for being a foreigner
>They all know English, none of them agrees they do tho
>To fit in starts speaking in German, the words that stuck with me from last night
>Out of nowhere i turn into a Greek, Nazi motherfucker
>Kids look confused at first but then start to bully me even more
>They tell the teacher what i said
>Get expelled for saying words like "jew, fire, death, and burn them alive"
>Get called a nazi by every kid in school
>they fill my school desk with swastikas and blame it on me.
>school refuses to replace them
>gets expelled again
>0 friends
>depressed
>moves back to Greece
>forget about it
>now a shy, motherfucker, who faps to traps, without a life who spends all day on 4chan.

>>738757596
Awesome I hate line cutters bonus point's if it was a stupid fucking nigger.
It's like niggers cannot understand how a line works.

>>738772749
i fucking hate germans too

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>be me 5 in bath with sister
>watching water drain out
>shit is cool as fuck
>have to shit but think I can hold it
>as water is almost completely out of bath hear the loud gurgling noise
>shit myself in fear
>sister looks at me in disgust and runs off to be a snitch nigger
>try to push log down drain
>panic.webm
>parents walk on on me trying to push Monster log down drain crying and hands all shittu
>MFW got my ass beat because I got scared of a fucking noise and shit myself

>>738760811
I'd kill him torture and kill and make him eat his own flesh raw and cooked like milk steak

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>be me
>be 7
>3rd grade, 99'
>bike to school everyday with my group of friends
>had bmx huffy
>we always got to school early
>schools still locked
>looking back i now realize contractors were adding mulch to playground**
>be me and see huge random pile of mulch in parking lot next to playground in the shape of ramp
>friends say "bet you won't jump that anon!"
>me "fuck that, i gotchu"
>dontbackoutnowpussy.jpg
>go to other side of parking lot
>these two wheels have never lifted off of the earth at the same time before.
>fuck it, my friends bet me
>go full speed
>hit mulch ramp
>ok everythings ok right?
>i go airborne
>i think to myself "wait, what. idk wtf i'm doing"
>decide to land front tire first on flat ground
>go over handle bars
>peel thyne own flesh from both elbows on assphault and chin
mfw teacher saw the whole thing and only came out to help when i was missing skin, bleeding, and crying

>>738773345
I used to take baths with my 2 years older brother and we always laid down and pissed on ourselves/each other before we filled the bath up. No clue why we did it.

>>738756465
>My dad molested me so my subconcient made up this gay memorie to protect my mental health

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>>738774073

>>738756465
>be me 3 years ago
>trans-12-year-old
>start dating cute boy from my school, he's 3 years older than me
>hang out during recess and between classes
>sometimes skip classes to be together
>make out in the janitor's room
>one day I give him a blowjob at the restrooms
>get caught
>get arrested by the police
>call them out for being trans-age-phobic
>have to plead guilty to avoid 20 years prison term and go to a mental institution for 2 years
>can't get a job anywhere around anymore because fuck the world

>>738774996
good job outing yourself as underage as well u stupid faggot enjoy then ban!

>>738774996
This makes 0 fucking sense. How does a 12 year old do 20 years in prison for something that isn't illegal?

>>738776826
Because a mentally ill 12 year old who's parents have abandoned will actually belive that they would get 20 years.
If u have no clue how the bullshit justice system works they will lie and bully u into a confession.

>>738777167
go back to tumblr
you're not welcome here

>>738765517
>*sigh*

>>738777167
A confession to what though? What did they charge you with? Even if they charged you with something stupid it should come of your record when you turn 18.

>>738776026
>>738776826
>>738777167
are you niggas autistic?

>>738774996
>3 years ago
>12 years old
>12 + 3 = 15
GTFO

>>738774996
Are you trying to say that you are trans-age and he was a minor but you really are 18? Even then I'd think you'd be protected by romeo & juliet laws.

>>738774996
Nice b8

>>738757596
Ur lucky cops werent involved

>>738759098
top kek

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>>738756465
>be me
>going to school
>School is ghey
>lunch time
>everyone is running from the girls
>I play gameboy
>everyone goes back inside
>I take shit on park
>go back inside.

>>738777825
Fist of all I am not the tranny faggot I just explained that police will lie and coherce people into confession the tranny freak likely was threatened with 20 years.
Cops usually would not use tactics like that against a 12 year old unless say for example that 12 year old want on a rant about them being "trans phobic" and royally pissed them off.

>>738778035
Not when your driver's license says you're 56 and the kid's family is ultra christian.

>>738756465
Take a picture of your freckle

>Be me, ages 5ish-10
>Not super young, making my autistic fits even worse
>Super into dinosaurs
>REALLY into dinosaurs
>To this day I still retain knowledge of the great lizards that is a testament to my autism
>But back then it was way worse
>Spend all day every day telling people about dinosaurs
>Stole eggs from the fridge constantly and tried to hatch them
>Room smelled like shit all the time
>Glued dinosaur figurines to shit I think needed to look cooler, like tvs and computer monitor
>Had a very special blanket as well, but I didn't use it myself
>I had it solely to protect a rock which I was convinced (and still am) had a fossil inside
>I had theorized it was Compsognathus, because of the shape of its head and the teeth
>The rock and the blanket that protected it ended up going missing one day
>I think either my mother threw it out to try and stave off my autism or someone stole it
>By far my worst offence was acting like a dinosaur on a daily basis
>Not just walking around the house and roaring, no, that'd be too normie
>I put my hands close to my chest to make raptor arms
>I didn't want to be a T-rex, because they were too big and too retarded for me
>I wanted to be a Utah raptor, because they were like Velociraptors but bigger
>I would sprint around the house like this, leaning my head forward and on my tip toes, letting out inhuman screeches all the while
>My mother had friends over sometimes, who would fall victim to my autism
>On more than one occasion I would bite or lick these people
>Years later, I realize that these people, typically men, only put up with my shit because my mother was a drug lord of sorts at the time and no one wanted to risk not getting their fix
>But I was young and continued to lick and bite complete strangers, and would screech at them like a tard before sprinting off to another part of the house, usually to tend to my eggs
I'm sure there's more if I take the time to think about it

>>738772749
Re malaka :)

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>>738758466
10/8 post anon. Thanks for the pic :3

> 10 or 11 years old
>walking in neighborhood with friend
>walk past mans house
>the grass is cut in a diagonal shape
>im amazed
>go to mans door and ring door bell
>aplaude him on the beautiful lawn
>leave and continue the walk

>>738764995
Kill a bunch of niggers if you're going to off yourself. Atleast do some good for the rest of us

>>738774073
I eat my own flesh, in small amounts of course, usually about half a centimeter off of my fingers and toes, sometimes more, been doing it since I was 9

>>738764671
Now THAT is gay.

>>738779917
its time to grow up and quit acting like a dinosaur

>>738765435
This guy gets it

>8
>at school for recess
>we had a bridge on our playground
>walk over to it and see older guy
>think it would be hilarious to slap his ass super hard
>go in for the kill
>he almost cries and walks away
>that didnt go as planned
>remember he has a middle school brother
>oh fuck
>hide under the bridge for the rest of recess

I didnt even know the kid why the fuck did i think slapping his ass was okay?

>>738756465
>exist

dryhumped my friends

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>Exist

>>738782115
>Existing
>In the year of our Lord two-thousand and seventeen
Jesus, Anon

>>738766508
you shouldn´t feel bad about that.
You should own your nerdery. You wouldn´t be happy without it.

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>>738759716

>>738767351
He got what he deserved. Fucking cunt.

>>738781326
So basically you bite your nails. Whoa slow down there autismo.

The most autistic thing was your post

>>738770590
I have 3 brothers and we constanly pissed in the bathtub. My parents didnt care at all. We actually played with our dicks like with little firehoses.

>>738779917
there's no way this fucker is still alive and i'm considered autistic
you know how many lives have fallen >victim to my autism?

>>738772749
you have a very weird imagination on what words would get you bullied here

>>738773345
Your parents are fucking assholes. I got beat, but only for shit I could've done something about.

>>738759999
Checked

>>738771697
Like grandpa inn the hospital from cancer

>>738763939
Honestly that was kinda a sad story,I have similar problem

>>738772749
And were you wrong? Was Hitler ever wrong bout anything ??

>>738779917
lmfao im dead af

>>738757803
>shit all over his weedle
I'm laughing at this but you deserved a lot of punches in your face. It's not like he did something that terrible to you.
And you can find weedle in both red and blue.

>be me
>11
>1992 Russia
>father was a Sergeant in vdv (Russian airborne)
>pretty good father, he sat next to me somedays and told me his stories and morals, he trained me to be a man, told me to respect myself above everyone else or someshit
>school started and I looking up to advice became really "tough"
>country was a mess, protests and all plus teachers were bitches
>one day I didn't do homework
>teacher asks me "why, Pavel? Why you no do homework"
>"I am a free man in a free country and I shall do whatever the fuck I want "
>expelled
>dad's not happy

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Ive said this before, but I think my ruskie grandma is responsible for my fascination with feet.

>be like 3-4
>getting to know my family and shit
>start making memories around this time
>one is of my grandmother coming over on sundays, after her russian orthodox mass
>she would stand for like 3+ hours and her feet would hurt
>being ruskie as hell, would make me rub her feet and sort of clean up her shoes
>never enjoyed it, but it stuck with me

Since then, I usually take a peek at a persons footwear. Not always sexual, or like fetishistic. Most of the time it grosses me out, cause people are shitty at hygiene and personal appearance. But I still do it and cant really explain why. If im familiar with someone, like my gf, I typically will give her a foot rub after a long day or to relax. Cant really explain why. Its a weird habit.

(pic related. I fuckin hate captcha sometimes)

>>738759098
Looks like, the game was TOO HOT for you

>>738784498
rekt

>be 5 y/o
>Grandma house
>Be with a friend of the little village where i was spending the summer
>she starts burning paper
>I enter at the kitchen, take a lighter and burn the tablecloth
>Aunt and grandma came in fast, starts filling glasses of water to stop the fire
>I leave house to stay with my cousins
>My mom appears with a big smile saying : what's up?
>I got scared of her smile
>Even more scared coz she never mentioned anything
>Now I'm 18, and 2 years ago I was with my family sharing childhood memories, I explain that. Aunt and grandma never told her.

>>738764284
when i was young i didn't knew the vagina existed, so i thought women had to do their do's with the anus.

i wasn't a bright kid.

>>738784498
lol shouldve held ur tounge

>>738784498
Dr.Pavel i'm CIA

>Be 5th grade
>Recess
>Cold-ish day, wearing sweater
>Decide to tie one arm to Merry-go-round
>Push it hard as fuck, eventually it gets too fast for me to run along side it
>Slip and fall, shirt almost gets ripped off my body
>Wraps around my neck and is choking and dragging me
>Pass out and wake up in hospital
>Whythefuckdidithinkthatwouldwork.mp3

>>738785476
I don't regret anything

>>738762581
lost
>>738765819
lost
>>738767351
KEK

>>738757596
Thats pretty good coming from a little fag, ill be proud of my son, and give him some videogames for those 3 weeks of suspension.

>>738763939
>Accelerated Reader
I had this in Elementary school in TN
My teacher took me to the mall after school because I earned enough points
also got to go to Dixie Stampede with all of the other kids my age who met the point requirements

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>>738783967
>be me
>be 12
>Have Aspergers
>7th grade
>Hit puberty previous year
>already beat my meat to random crap I find
>meet classmates first time
>Alot I already knew because HS and Elementary are connected
>look around and spot some new kids
>Like 1/4 are weebs
>see one of the weebs
>Conufsed because of weebs hair
>weeks later know her name and that she's definitely a girl
Keep in mind my /b/rothers that,like many of you,I am socially awkward AF and overweight
>I tell some African level dark humor
>Teachers aren't huge fan of it but I'm very kind to them
>Struggling with Insomnia and Genetic depression (Mutation in neuro-receptors)
>Have Highest IQ in class
>Explain to hot weeb from earlier the roots of my weird behavour
>Tells me she has lower than normal IQ
>That doesn't bother me much because My love for her overlooks that
>Know that I'll never have someone outside of family love me
>Starter reaction to sleep pills just makes me feel worse
>wannadie.jpg
>Have little energy in school that day
>Couldn't control emotions well
>She gets mad at me for telling a joke about weebs
>I get really confused and minutes later cry
>Sit in cafeteria
>feel sick with utter sorrow
Cont?

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>>738786587
>get home
>cry self to sleep
>wake up
>Go to local bee farm
>Buy a 1lb jar of Buckwheat honey
>eat it all like a cartoon character eating icecream
>Field trip
>same group as her and some others
>Buy her a feeding stick so she can feed some birds at the location
>Take pics of her and other classmates
>save them to PC and forget about them
>Last day of school
>Freedom.gif
>Go home
>Play on PC
>remember about the well,countless sexual dreams I've gotten by thinking of her
>Close game I'm playing
>Find a good pic of her
>close door
>choke chicken
>sleep
>Mfw I was so lonely and socially isolated I fapped to a pic of her on a field trip
>Mfw I need tips on how to easily lose weight
>mfw I realized all the cringe

>>738764552
I woulda fuckin married you for one of those

>>738786587
>>738786869
You're not going to lose any weight while eating a 1lb jar of honey.

You need to learn self-control even though it may be a lot harder for you with Asperger's. Maybe something that you need to discuss with a therapist or someone else more qualified.

Also,
>You must be 18 or over to post on this board

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>be me
>9-10 maybe??
>get a kindle
>not a good one, like the first one that came out ever
>I fuckin love reading hell yeah
>find out parents can't see what i download on the store
>I also liked drawing, especially animals that could act like people like on Disney
>remember how parents said I couldn't draw those anymore
> find some books on the subject
>basically downloaded like 50 furry porno's
>read all of them
>Mom finds out
>bye bye kindle
>some bullshit about i never actually read them?
>mfw my first exposure to sex was gay furry porn
>mfw when im still a closet furry to this day

>>738788198

HOLY FUCK. Capped!

I think i cracked a rib laughing at this. Do they think you're still into furries and shit?

>>738788329
I think they suspect... and I feel really bad about liking furries at all. I have a couple characters, I wouldn't really call them fursonas or anything, but I am really attached to them.

As an Asperger, I would simply talk more to the teachers than my classmates and, when trying to socialize, I always explain some shit which I read in my medicine book to them (detail: we were 7 years old). But the most autistic thing that I can remember is that I memorized all the world countries' capitals when I was 14. I still remember, tho.

I am currently lying on my floor naked on my damn laptop on this fucking website because I fell really hard and I think I broke myt tailbone, like, the best I can do is slowly army crawl anywhere. I haven't been able to stand up for three hours.

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>be me, 7 years old
>watch matilda with parents
>after that constantly try to control things with telekinesis
>basically anything i could try it on, i would
>i tightened all my muscles and held my breath until my face turned blue to try and move things
>years pass, with little to no prevail with my telekinesis
>sit at dinner table with family
>ask sister to pass ketchup
>"get it yourself"
>tighten all my muscles and hold my breath while imagining a thousand little hands stretching out to grab the ketchup bottle
>sit there for a solid 20 seconds before my mother asks "what the fuck are you doing"
>"i'm exerting my powers, mother"
>therapy for 2 months after that

>>738764930
Holy shit anon you are one special fucker

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>be me
>be in 7th grade or something
>have two classmates with serious ADHD
>generally very chaotic boys in class
>teachers have enough and introduce "the list"
>you get a strike whenever you are disturbing the class, if the whole class manages to stay under a certain amount, there will be no homework for the next week
>realise the two alone will reach the threshold before middle of the week
>fuckit.jpg
>decide might as well make it a contest
>the two become "strike-emperors"
>gather strike-serveants
>whichever team has the most strikes by the end of the week wins
>battle each other during breaks, still all friends though

mfw the teachers' way to keep us quiet made it even worse

this went on for two weeks until someone decided he would try one of those tricks he saw on wrestling last night and gave someone a concussion

>be me, 5 maybe 6
>brother was 9
>walked in on him watching porn in the living room at 4 am
>all i wanted was a glass of milk
>to this day i remember that huge dick and huge tits
>couple of years go by be 12
>playing vidya with brother i win like 5 in a row
>tells me that if i win another he would suck my dick
>at this age ive watched alot of porn confident i can win
> I accept
> i lose the game but my brother says he will suck my off anyway as long i return the favor
>two bros sucking eachother off mom walks in slowly walks out
>never talk about it again with brother or mom
>brother now has a girlfriend and has never done anything gay

>>738764021

You fucking lunkhead.

>be me, 8/9 years old
>play Sven 2 XXL at friends house (a game where you are a male sheep and your goal is to fuck all the female sheep)
>next day at school
>tell whole class about it
>someone thinks it's a good concept for a game
>boys go outside to play sven-tag
>about 12 boys crawling on their knees, shouting baaaaah
>one of them tries to mount the others from behind while they try to run away

I think no one saw us, but to this day it was never spoken of again, even though we played it a for a few weeks

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>be me
>5th grade
>decide to pretend im british for a year because i do a good british acccent
>tell everyone im from manchester
>talk in retarded accent for a whole year
>mfw made fun of

>>738788874
Aw yeah, there is one I remember now:
>be me
>as I said, have Aspergers
>be 6 years old or so
>girls were playing pretending games in the school yard (like mommy and daddy)
>the "chief" of the game was telling the roles of each one
>"you are going to be the aunt, [girl's name]"
>since the chief didn't talk about the aunt's "parents" I asked to the said girl:
>"so... "aunt", are you an orphan?"
>she cries and tells me that "telling those things was wrong and can hurt peoples's feelings" and about how a high amount of children can't have a mom and a dad and shit
>didn't understand
>teacher gets mad at me and didn't let me play more as a punishment
>only when I was 13 is when I understood.

>>738756465
>be me, 13yo
>Scripture Union Summer Camp for ChristBros
>meet a girl there, Cathrene
>Ask her to be my "Girlfriend", she agrees
>Shopping in whatever shitty town we were near, think it may have been Dundee
>Want to get her something, but also want to buy Adore on CD (Smashing Pumpkins)
>OH SHI- Don't have enough money for both
>Buy the tape instead of the CD so I can buy her shitty wee cheap palstic Necklace
>Give it to her, she refuses to accept because She's "Not a good Person"
>Was my "GF", but no touching, kissing or holding hands.
>MFW Years Later get diagnosed as Sperglord

Also my younger brother, when he was a kid (up to 8) would only talk in a "Cat Voice" and we had to call him "Maow-Catty".

>be me, can't remember age, but very young
>be at some sort of park while on vacation
>me and some other kids were playing on a slide
>we picked up the biggest rocks we could find, and then throw them down the slide
>suddenly some little niglet wanders infront of the slide
>barely miss the stone
>remember hearing very loud "OY" after that
>niglets father comes up to me, friends have ran off
>takes me by the shoulders and yells at me while violently shaking me
>i start to cry
>spend the rest of the day shook by the hairy, angry brown man

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>>738789442

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>>738759098
Ah the GBA, the first game console I ever had sex with!

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>>738791310
>Also my younger brother, when he was a kid (up to 8) would only talk in a "Cat Voice" and we had to call him "Maow-Catty".

>>738757134
cool

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Woo boy, looking back my childhood had many autistic moments. Strap yourself in boys; this is going to be quite the road

>Be me
>Preschool
>REALLY really into Thomas the Tank Engine
>Loved going to my babysitter because she had tons of them.
>Heaven.jpg
>One day minding my business, I was playing with Toby in my own little world
>This one little shit stomps over and snatches my Toby right from my hands
>Autisticscreech.wav
>Grab a large piece of wooden track and bring it across his head. It snaps
>Kid falls to the ground
>Bawling and Bleeding
>Oh shit Nigga
>Has to go to the hospital to get stitches.
>Forced to go to another babysitter
>Stole Toby
>Worth it.

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>>738791815
>Me again
>8-10
>Collect dragonball Z Magazines with my lawn mowing money
>My treasure
>Show my favorite one to one of my new friends
>Thought it was Super special because of its golden cover
>Friend snatches it from me and hops on bike
>Holding it by the back page letting it blow in the wind behind him.
>Rage
>Grab a hoe and ride after him, popping his back tire.
>Kid cries and runs home.
>Reality kicks in
>Oh shit I’m going to be in so much trouble!
>Run through the house, grabbing my allowance money and any change I can find.
>Terrified of friend’s large dad so grab a mask as well.
>Rides bike to friends house, knocks on the door
>Mom answers
>Thank God
>Looking back she could probably hear me sobbing behind my mask, but at the time I though I was completely anon.
>Offers her pickle jar full of bills and change
>Sprints to my bike and rides home

>be me 6 y/o
>believe i am rare jungle rat that licks honey out of trees
>at summer camp b/c my parents want me to make friends(have none)
>licks playground equipment searching for honey
>camp counselor gets pissed
>takes me down and sits me in the naughty corner
>meet girl who tells me she can give me a tattoo with a rock
>almost slits my wrist

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>>738791876
>New school, same old autismo me
>Catholic school
>Made a name for myself selling Pokémon cards, mighty beans, teckdecks, etc in bathroom
>New exorcism movie released
>School is buzzing about it.
>Bright idea
>Raid art room
>Find vials of glitter
>Empty them out and fill them with tap water
>Sell them in the cafeteria as holy
>Get Caught
>Learn the word blasphemy.

>>738791505
I don't think you're the autist in this story.

>>738792040
throwing rocks down slides could count i guess

>>738792148
That's just shit kids do. It's not autistic unless you're fucking >15 and still doing it.

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>be 7 or 8
>see movie home alone for the first time
>become convinced burglars are going to break into my house that night
>decide to take action
>sneak into kitchen and take dish soap
>coat hardwood floor in slick layer of soap
>get into bed feeling safe
> mom comes in tuck me in and slips and bashes skull
> ends up knocking herself out
>dad has to take me, my sister and the unconscious body of my mother to the hospital at 9pm
>mfw

>>738760811
yeah, you wonder, don't ya

>>738788007
That was past tense...It didn't even say my current age

>>738792271
i was 17

>>738758466
LEL

> be me about 6 or 7 ish
> constantly in trouble at school and home for all kids of random shit
> me and my friend are bored fucking around in this shit hole car park filled with all of this rubbish and broken bricks pavement etc
> friend says we should throw stuff at cars to see who can do the most damage
> I see that this could get me grounded, so counter with, go on the other side of the wall, and lets play throw rocks over the wall at each other like battleships
> 2 teams, both throwing rocks, we get a couple of close calls, and small bruises
> stoop down to pick up a rock, stand back up
> all of a sudden see half a huge chunk of pavement slam me right in the forehead
> split my head open, blood now gushing, down my face, too panic to cry until i realize what just happened
> run home, screaming, banging on the door like fuck
> let me in let me in through sobs
> older sister is on other side of the door
> asks me what the password is, little bitch picks when she can hear terror in my voice to pull shit shit
> I had been doing this same password shit to her past few days
> dad hears commotion, opens door, is like wtf, washes my head, takes me hostpital
> they put glue in my head to close it up
> still have scar right in the middle of my head, just above hair line, hair will never grow again
> I did retarded shit like this constantly

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>be me
>be 10 years old
>at neighborhood pool with family
>have water wings
>retardedidea.jpeg
>decide to put water wings on ankles
>I thought I could stand on water by doing it
>put first water wing on ankle
>hard to keep leg down
>start getting a bit unsure
>decide to keep going because I'm a fucking retard
>Put on second water wing
>flip over and go under
>ohfuck.jpeg
>can barely reach water wings
>running out of air
>somehow I'm able to take one off and I surface
>mfw none of my family saw that happen
>mfw I realized I almost drowned myself

>>738792624

> be me around same age, me and same friend are bored
> open all of the sewer grates round the neighborhood
> whole place smells like shit
> everyone mad as fuck
> send their kids out to beat us up
> we run home like fags laughing

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>>738792813

>>738792869

> me and same friend bored again
> this one kid has a darth vader mask that makes noises, takes batteries
> steal it and run away, hide all over the place
> panic cos he is going to tell his parents
> decide to get rid of the evidence, throw it down sewers
> go home to chill and play some crash team racing
> ohshit.png
> whole driveway is packed with my sisters, mother, and this kids entire family waiting, all screaming, "where is the mask?"
> friend says he went for a drink in his house, when he came back, mask is gone
> I say I went to see the kid to ask if he wants his mask back, and for some reason he confirms this lie to everyone, and when I came back mask is gone
> kids mother says she is going police
> my parents mad as fuck
> told we have an hour to get our story straight
> we instead go play crash team racing
> walking back over to my house for our next grilling about this stupid ass mask
> see the kids mom pass us, she tells us she is going to the police to report some other kid for doing it
>no idea why
> we both still get grounded

>>738768887
kek

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>be me at 11
>used to trade hot wheels and other miniature cars at school
>parents notice me coming home with new ones
>think I'm stealing
>too autistic to tell them we trade at school
>have to trade in secret
>parents are checking my bag every day
>hide them in my underwear all day and then trade with other kids
>no one ever found out

>>738760094
Well at least you got your wish half-granted, you ARE another kind of wizard...

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>>738792813
Not sure if it qualifies as autism for a phobia now, possibly both.
>be 8
>parents just divorced and was living with my dad
>there was a pool right outside of our apartment that I would hang out at all the time after school
>was playing with one of my ninja turtle toys in the pool and when i was done had noticed shredder was missing his shredder
>scour the pool for what felt like hours trying to find it
>swam across every inch of the pool except the drain to find it
>convinced the drain claimed it
>told my dad about it later and he said i was wrong "drains don't just suck things up like that"
>decided to prove it for some reason and takes me back out the pool
>tosses me and pulls me down to the drain and sticks my hand in it
>freak out and start trying to pull away
>hand gets stuck and i start gesturing for him to help
>he just watches
>finally plant my feet on the ground and try to basically stand up to free my hand
>break free and scramble for the surface
>that was in '94 and I still don't like swimming in pools
>even just looking at boats makes me nauseous
>tried watching a documentary on the yangtza dam when it was being built and had nightmares for days about being sucked into a turbine

>be me aged 9
>bit of a sperg kid but felt like a quite a responsible kid for my age
>have normal electric kettle and covfefe machine at home and can make parents tea or covfefe upon request
>on holiday in Portugal
>covfefe machine is some old school shit you put on the hob
>kettle is not
>dad shows me how to use old school covfefe shit
>next day
>shouts up at me from downstairs if I can make some tea
>proud as fuck that I can show off what I learned
>proudly stick plastic kettle on hob and fuck off to go fuck around in the pool
>dad goes up to get tea
>melted kettle all over the place
>parents triggered
>portuguese cunt landlord extremely tirggered
>shit stuck to the ground real bad
>yuge fine

>Be me, about 7 yo
>Learn about le plaisir du le fap
>My bedroom is also the living room, so I have to use the bathroom
>I fap whenever I take a shart
>Think that people moans unconsciously so I let the shower open to hide the noise
>Parents ask why do I do that
>Say it's because I want hot water to wash my hands
>Literally fapping for 20 minutes almost everyday for years, until we move to a better house

>>738786587
Wtf? I didnt know tat "weeb degeneracy" was a threat to children as young as 12. Not good. When does this end?

>>738758776
Underated post.

>>738772749
Joke's on them, they're overrun by sandniggers now. Those kids have probably been raped and assaulted repeatedly by now.

>>738770921
Gonna need a story on that last bit.

>>738774996
yeah fuck the world because this degenerate trans kid cant get a job

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>>738759716

>>738759847
kekeroo

This kills the soul.

>>738757596
lost

>be me like 9 years old
>aunt is visiting us
>cousin and her friend (whom i had a crush on) are there
>theyre on my aunt's car
>cousin is laying on car door
>cousin says some shit
>autism kicks in
>open car door
>cousin falls
>cousin starts crying
>cousin friend calls my aunt
>i bolt the fuck out of there
>go to my room and play burnout until they leave

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>>738768136
>"suck my butt until my face caves in"

>>738761956
>>738764378
>>738764884
kek

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>be me
>maybe 7year old (honestly don't remember)
>mother brings me to a pool
>wants to put me in a swimming class(or something like that)
>swimm instructer walks up to me
>tells me i don't have to be scared of the water and that the class will take it slowly
>fuck_this.jpg
>jump into the pool
>immediat regret
>fucking scared for my life since i realised swimming wasn't as easy as i thought
>shit myself in fear
>swim teacher has to fish me out of the pool
>lonely turd floating in the middle of the pool
>mfw i almost drowned and shat myself in public
>mfw they had to drain the entire giant pool because of me

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>used to wear sweatpants with holes in them .also around age 7
>whenever we were sitting on the floor i'd pull >my dick through the hole and rub it on the carpet or floor.
>remember specifically one day our class >was sitting in the front hall of the school >which was large with a big rubber >welcome mat. Girl gave me funny look but >not sure if I was ever caught.

>Also up until about age 10 whenever our >daycare would go to the park and I had to >shit i would shit in the bush. Also did this >at school once or twice in the field >between buildings. Wiped ass with a leaf >sometimes not at all if it was a dry poop.

Its weird cuz looking back I legit had autism and now I am a pretty well balanced smart guy. No problems getting laid or talking to girls. Its like my autism just vanished idk

>>738761305
what's the source for this image?

>>738794890
the most autistic thing about this green text is 'covfefe'

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>>738799212
>can't greentext for shit
>smart guy

>>738762581
I do similar now, and I'm an adult.
I spit on the ground or into the tissue though; ~I'm not a fucking autist.

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>>738799473
you got me there fgt

So my friends usually had better toys than me growing up, so if I went to any of their houses all I wanted to do was play with their stuff. So anytime I went to somebodys house I would always manipulate them into playing with their stuff or if it was more than one of us at a friends house, I would say I need to go in the house and use the bathroom then just go into their room and play with their stuff. sometimes i'd steal stuff. i'd also make my mom come and get me if I was losing at any game we played or if they wanted to do something I didn't want to do.

looking back on it, im surprised i kept getting invited stuff. their parents must have been making them.

>>738756465
>femanon
>around age five to nine
>used to force girls to let me watch them pee and touch their puss
>also did it to female cousin
>used to piss in a cup whenever I was in the bath and drink it
>now have piss fetish

>>738765371
lost

when I was 12-13 I used to make stick death gifs.

1998/1999. gifs had to be simple because of shitty computers and dial-up internet. stickdeath.com was a weirdly popular site and there was a big yahoo group devoted to autistic faggots like me who made their own and treated it like a fucking art form.

I think I still have some of that shit lying around on floppy disks somewhere

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>be me 9 y/o
>at school dicking around during recess
>start a game of tag with some of the boys
>game is going for awhile and is getting pretty rowdy
>running from 'IT' as fast as I possibly can
>come around the side of the jungle gym thing
>looking directly behind my
>turn around just in time to smash my face into a foot wide metal pole
>fall straight onto my back as I feel blood coming out of my forehead
>sit up and realize I'm almost fully blind
>teacher runs over and helps me up and into the school

I got to go home early since I had to go to the hospital just in case. Probably the worst pain in my life.

>>738799944

to add onto this:

>be me
>be at my friends house with 2 other friends
>playing super smash bros on the n64
>losing every time
>try desperately to convince them to play something else
>they ignore me
>throw a tantrum
>run into the basement (it was furnished)
>crying on couch
>friends mom comes down stairs to see if im okay
>tell her I want to go home and to call my mom
>tries to get me to stay because she feels bad
>I ask her if I can go into my friends room
>she seems weirded out by it but lets me
>stay in his room and play with his shit
>friend never cared about me playing with his shit but asked me if I want to go outside with them
>tell them I'm good
>they all seem weirded out but go outside anyway
>stay in his room playing with his toys until my mo m comes to pick me up

I did the same thing to one of the other kids who was there too. they always just had better toys than me.

to put it in perspective, a shit ton of those "annoying childhood friend" memes apply to me

>>738756465
having a freckle on your wrist means your gay

>>738800435
stickdeath was the shit back in the day

>>738800789
I fucking know right?

cringey autism looking back at it though

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>>738800435
>>738800789
well shit guys

>>738800917
For sure, it hasn't aged well. Almost every video has a 90's/200's screamo song in it. The terroist shit is still funny to me though

>>738779917
This is a fable to show you not to take drugs when you're pregnant; your kid will end up a fucking retard.

>>738801009
stickdeathreborn com

>be me
>be Austrian
>move to Canada
>talk about D-day
>remember About Opa and how he died on d-day
>brag about Having a relative fight hoards of people on a beach
>Smart kid said Arn't you German
>I reply yeah so whats wrong with that.
>everyone made fun of me as the Nazi
>took 5 years till I realized that I bragged about my grandpa being a Nazi

>Be me 12 years ago
>Be 7 years old
>Be socially retard male caucasian who girls considered "cute"
>Have crush on a girl who sits with me on the bus every day
>Asian childhood sweetheart, short and skinny
>Way too playful, doesn't understand I like her
>Thinks its cute to watch me squirm
>Decides tickling me would be a good idea
>We all were taught what rape was, but not what sex was
>I had a very high pitched voice and their was a black bus driver with a white "Co-driver" (sat in the back to make sure kids in the back didn't kill each other)
>Scream "RAAAPPPPPEEEE" as loud as I can
>Black bus driver gets beat up by white guy, my crush never talks to me again, now I have a tickle fetish

>>738801405
oh shit
thats an awkward realisation to come to

>>738789153
call an ambulamb

god damn there's alot of fetishes in this thread

I had an autistic obsession with mario. I wrote mario fan fiction, read mario fan fic, played all the mario games, knew a bunch of random facts about mario, even had a mario folder for school. At one point i even started keeping my hands balled up into fists because that was what mario did in all the games.

I dont tell people about that last part. The rest is pretty obsessive but that last part is where it gets straight up autistic.

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>Be me.
>About 7 or 8.
>Craving pizza like crazy.
>Ask mom if we could get some.
>She says no.
>Cunt.
>Decide that I'm smart enough to make my own.
>Spread cold ketchup on a slice of bread and cover it in parmesan cheese.
>Feel completely proud of my creation.
>Bite down on it.
To this day, it is still the most disgusting I have ever tasted.

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>>738762472
>>fuck you, you're no lifegaurd, you didn't blow a whistle
JESUS CHRIST MY SIDES ANON

>>738802200
>>Spread cold ketchup on a slice of bread and cover it in parmesan cheese.
should have microwaved that shit, it makes it delicious

>>738756465
There was quite a bunch
> be around 6 years old
> in every recess pretended to be Pokemon
> hanged out on Top of huge truck tires, since my Friend was squirtel, i was turtoc, tires our nest and we are Breeding eggs

Shit was dope.

Also
> Play "autoscooter" with Friends
> push toi hard
> send Friend Flying After huge impact
> Friend crys, dislocated Shoulder and mild arm fracture

>Be 5 years old
>Be in daycare
>Go outside with other kids onto playground after lunch
>Play house with one boy and one girl in a small playhouse
>Pic related
>The girl was the mom, I was the dad, and the boy was the child
>The boy leaves after his mom picks him up
>Just me and the girl now alone in the house
>We keep playing and eventually she asks to see my dick
>Whipped it out as she gazed in awe
>Asks to hold it
>I let her
>Feeling like an alpha as she has my dick in her hand
>Suddenly counselor shows up
>Freak the fuck out
>Piss in girl's hand
>Mistakes it for needing to use the bathroom
>Yells at me while the girl is frozen staring at her hand
>Mfw I just peed on my pretend wife
>Mfw I have to wear diapers for the rest of the year