/b/ I need to start a cult. I can't tell you why I need

The Cult of Infinite Corn: Everyone in the cult eats corn, poops it out, eat the poop corn, and poop out the poop corn, and so on.

>>738743906
deodorant

>>738744003
This is good, though I would like to refrain from eating my own shit; or dying from weird fecal deceases.

Great Idea though.


>>738744013
What about deodorant? Like an eliminate all smells cult?

>>738744139
Deodorant brings in fresh fragrance, it masks the stench of impurity.
They tried to ban it in the 80s because it was helping people see the truth, but they failed and blamed the attempted ban on global warming.

It has healing powers that no doctor will ever tell you about, or else they'd be out of a job. It excites positive vibes and releases a healthy amount of serotonin in the brain, effectively combating depression.
And, as we all know, the nose is the center of the body; the most important part. You can be mistaken with what you feel, with you hear, and what you taste. But your smell never fails you. Your nose is your guiding light that keeps you alive. That's why shit is so pungent. And that's why deodorant smells so good

Kool-aid Collective: Members fill random swimming pools full of Kool-aid and swim in it for be stained in the color

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>>738744395

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>>738744418
Right but then it would be an obvious parody of the Jim Jones thing.

>>738744407
Ahh I see, I like where this is going.

Although, not really all that believable that someone would develop a religious zealousy around that ideology.

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>>738744418
Kek. Reminded me of Trailer Park Boys.

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Clowns obsessed with horns and blood colors. They worship some mirthful messiahs or something. Maybe throw in the names Scratch and English for whatever reason.

>>738744626
This is wildly unsettling

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>>738744689
I mean, homestuck + juggalo fusion?

Like maybe, but I hate both of those things.

Unless I went for ACTUAL clowns, and ACTUAL horns. Might work.

The Faithful of the Full Fart: Members gather in small rooms with the general public and fill the room with their farts, chant, and then light the full fart room on fire

>>738744550
If cults made sense, they'd be religions.
Seriously. As long as you can sorta bullshit what you're preaching, then people susceptible to cults will still join. You need to be charismatic though

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>>738744767
It's also a gif.

>>738744800
I don't think the fuel air density would be high enough. Though, hilarious

>>738744838
Right but deodorant? Aliens maybe? Human depopulation maybe? but deodorant?

Cereal killer cult.

Send your disciples on missions to abduct cereal from your local grocery stores and them film yourself torturing the boxes and bowls of cereal.

Alternatively, just send them into the store to stab the cereal boxes until cereal spills onto the floor, then run.

If you can get enough people to join they'll blame it on some highschool trend like that whole "milk gallon smashing" thing

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>>738744982
Ahh, not too bad.

Though again we are targeting common objects.

Can't this be more malicious like, steal cereal box, put a razorblade in it an put it back kind of deal. I think that might be more convincing.

>>738744959
>Right but deodorant?
If it was obvious, someone would already be doing it. You have to present something that seems uncontroversial that could be believable.
So their first thought will always be "this sounds nutty". But then you back it up and tell them things they already know and pray on their distrust of doctors and the media.

Oh, and a really important step is promising them that this focus will enhance their lives in a way that other people are scared of.

Solar Suffer Servants: All members wear silver reflective foil suits and hold up big magnifying glass and they run around town trying to burn up random people with the power of the sun

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>>738745316
I'm just trying to think of how I would get a member base.

>Image
This will be the cult symbol, exposing both armpits.

>>738745428
This is great, while they would secretly be trying to build archimedes death ray. I think general sun worship is cool. This and the deodorant one are at the top of my list right now.

>>738745144
Hmm... like the whole "someone injected poison into the ibuprofen bottle" myth?


Dangerous... if someone actually got hurt it'd be a big problem.

The actual servants of the deodorant themselves don't bathe or use deodorant . As they deem themselves unworthy of cleansing.

>>738745558
True. But caring about hurting people. Its a cult.

The Winds of The Icy Heart: All members eat as many York Peppermint Patties as possible and exhale cool minty breath in hopes bring the Earth into a new Ice Age

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>>738745969
Interesting, but parody levels.

>>738745677
True cults are only dangerous in the sense that they drive people to insanity through positive means. Like telling them they will go to hell if they do something you know they are gonna do anyway. Then they do it, think they're going to hell anyway, and go batshit.

You don't tell people to do harmful things to other people. Nobody buys into that. Jim Jones only got people to kill THrMSELVES because they believed he was a prophet of God.


OP are you for or against saying God is in control of your "discipleship/actions"?

If the latter, you will find few followers at all.

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>>738746113
I don't need many followers. Only a small few.

It doesn't even matter if they are serious, they only need to APPEAR they are serious.

The legitimacy of the cult is not really the question, its the believably of the cult.

If I get 5 people to be like ("oh great one I stab cereal boxes for ye, take my divine offering"); not a single person is going to take that seriously.

If I get people to start putting razorblades in boxes... serious.

In order to be taken seriously without hurting anyone, going to need better ideas.

>>738746370
OP, im gonna level with you, if you're starting a cult for any reason other than to get laid and fulfill a power fantasy, you're doing it wrong

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>>738746568
What do you know about starting cults?

>>738746681
that the first step is the hardest
and that any cult that's too successful fails without celebrities or extremely wealthy members

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>>738746993
Ehh don't worry about my chances of success or failure.

I am just looking for cult ideas.

Go with a classic alien god.

>>738744626
I fucking hate this thing and still can't get an anwser or source of where it's from

>>738747295

I feel the same way.

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>>738747295
>>738747401
Hehe

>>738747278
I might have to at this rate.

>>738747502
I say go with the deodorant thing, it sounds the funniest.

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>>738747859

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>>738747901
Yeah but it sounds like this.

>Shave your head and sing hymns about household cleaning products. Build a temple.

>Alien worship… illegal alien worship. Your followers don’t have to know the name is pronounced Hey-Zeus.

>Take advantage of Goths writing poetry in a graveyard at midnight by dressing up as undead.

>Suicide cult through $1 green chile double cheese burgers at McDonald’s.

>Rewrite heavy metal lyrics to sound like ancient wisdom. “Holy Diver.” Thus spoke the Dio, “You hath been down for ages in the midnight sea…”

>Pee yourself. Encourage your followers to do the same. Then laugh and say, “I can’t believe you did that!”

>Use the federal tax guidelines as your bible. Claim to be the only person to really understand the hidden meaning in tax law.

>“Derobing” ceremonies.

>A tortured soul cult. The temple is a coffee shop; the holy symbol a guitar.

>A television commercial cult....
I like this one actually

>Watch corporate motivational and training videos over and over. Suicide optional.

Might make a subreddit for the cult...

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>>738747295
'Creepy black doll on bed' It's from a reddit thread