Depression thread: - 35 years old - 2 kids, 4 year old and

If you want to exit anon, start documenting everything and plan to take your kid with you to somewhere with a lower standard of living.

if you can rock-solid prove a custody case, and you want to exit, that's your best bet. Leave autismo and fatty-cares-not behind.

Optionally, if you want to stay, convince Fatty-Cares-Not that you need someone to keep your focus, to keep your discipline, and that you're afraid of a life without her, blah blah blah. There's old people, and there's fat people, but very few old fat people - you couldn't stand to live without her, blah blah blah.

Roll her ass on the mat a couple times, maybe she'll like it.

>>738552080

I'm a softy.... despite my resentment of her wasting the prime years of my life i would never take someone's kid away from her.

I was good with my step son since he was 3.... just got resentful over her family talking shit if I so much as post a Facebook pic with him not in it. after all I've done and what little she's done.

Dude I'm only 23 years old and even I can tell you need a divorce what the hell are you doing man just pull the trigger already. (As in the divorce not a gun)

I'm in so cal with the same exact problem only I have a lot of girls hitting on me. They see me wife as a none issue.

>>738552518
never been hit on in my life. how old are you ? can you elaborate on your situation more ?

File: 1392425649277.jpg (776KB, 1920x1200px) Image search: [Google]

776KB, 1920x1200px

dear anon,

my name is dustin. im 35. my relationship has gone to shit with what was suppose to be my wife. one thing that keeps me going is my 3 years old daughter. i keep thinking about hanging myself in the closet with a belt. one thing that is keeping me somewhat afloat is my daughter. i just watched a gore thread and i usually can't make it through certain videos but i forced myself to watch the guy get his legs hacked off. i sobbed for him. i sobbed for myself. i don't really know where this is going but other people are out here just barely hanging on as well.

>>738552825
It's called making shit up on 4chan to insight that very response

Dude just because you are 35 doesn't mean your life is over, you just need a change of scenery or perspective...dump those kids & that dumpster fire of a wife of yours & jump on a Greyhound bus & start your life all over again

File: 1416354280504.jpg (207KB, 1280x800px) Image search: [Google]

207KB, 1280x800px

>>738551876

33yo anon, I make €26k. Im an architect, this is the highest I can get in my country.
Girlfriend has just left me after 6 years together.

Im thinking in going back to my parents house

>>738551876
It's never too late to start again.

Hey buddy. I am 29, 60k/yr when everyone i know makes 100k. Have a 3 year old and another on the way. I am in the same boat as you.

>>738552869
Edginess aside the truth is this made me laugh uncontrollably. And don't call me edgy because you watch people get their legs cut off

Have you tried really talk to your wife. Sit alone with her, tell her your concerns, offer help to lose weight if it's actually harmful for her. It just sounds to me that she might be depressed. Talk and then make your decision. It's not good for you or the kids to stay in a toxic relationship.

I feel you bro. Can't say much, because your situation with the fatty is pretty fucked, and I feel depressed enough too to counsel anybody, but my sincere opinion is that you have proven to be a man of high value taking care of her sick kid. Also, you do bjj and swim, which is good for you. Just set some limits to the fatty man, don't let them through so much shit on you, you don't deserve it

>>738551876
Taking the bait - assuming it's serious (dumb move I know)

>- feeling my life is wasted and getting too old to start over

It's never too late to start over. This can be with her or without her, but given her previous laziness, it's more than likely gonna end up without her.
Take her away for a weekend somewhere and explain to her exactly what you've explained to us. Her actions (or inactions, really) are causing you to fall out of love with her and she needs to step up. Be prepared for her to take off like a fucking rocket at this news but try and get past it so that you guys can actually talk. Explain to her that you guys can either start over together or start over apart and you'd prefer a start over together. Something needs to be done anon, it's not healthy to go on like this

>>738552869
why is your relationship with your wife bad ? what happened and how long did that take ?

it's hard when you have kids, but they do keep you going

Go leave her, but do you still love her ?

you are still young and u can have many better girl for a better life :)

don't kill yourself its useless :D

>>738553270
come on man... Why would I ever leave my 4 year old son who is the only person who is ever happy to see me and genuinely loves me ? there's no way

if I didn't have a kid with her I'd have left in a heartbeat

>>738553831
And he should try to avoid as much as possible to not get angry, just talking calmly. And try not quilt her so much, like saying: "OUR MARRIAGE IS FALLING APART BECAUSE YOUR FAT!".

>>738551876
Hey dude, I'm 35 and make fuckall an hour at a shitty job. Your wife sounds toxic and is waaaay too big obviously. I'd try and reason with her and give her a practical ultimatum or you leave. Your 12 year old is just 12, I wouldn't take any offense as the kid is still growing. Try doing other things to clear your head or just go to the fucking pool, what's she gonna do? Chase you (sorry low blow)

>>738553467
why did she leave anon ? was she hot or so so ? were you even happy with her ?

>>738554068
Sounds to me like anon is already past anger, and into despondency

>>738553738
over the 10 years we have been together ? countless times.

got her treadmill. never used it.
got her gym membership. never went and still paying monthly for it.
countless times started diet for both of us just to motivate her. nothing.
finally she's been going to a weight loss clinic for last year or so and they gave her 5 pills to take a day... she barely does that either and gets defensive when I ask.

just complete lack of motivation to get better. I see all these ugly.ass guys with attractive girls and I wonder what the fuck I did wrong

>>738554106
not really happy, but I thought we could be better if we tried together.
she just disappeared from one day to another, guess she was seeing another guy or something, who knows. I didnt want to know neither.

Last year I won an international architecture contest and all I can get is a shitty 26k job.. its too depressing.
I know burger king workers make up to 18k per year, so I dont know why the fuck I became an architect.

Try to do something better for yourself man. Apply for jobs, if you can't find a better one, try to improve your skills. You are already doing very good with your physical activity, if you want to do more, feel free, you don't have to ask her for permission, you are the man. And don't bother much with her. Try to find some inner you, so she can fuck herself

>>738553804
Thanks man., that helps a lot

>>738553831
she just starts arguing with me and going off on these strange tangents, like how 10 years ago I asked her nicely to take a shower because she smelled really bad and it just escalates from there.

I'm just tired anon. I just wanted a normal wife and stating to wonder if all women are just lazy and bitchy.

>>738551876
>2 kids and a wife
>$70k and a job

knows full well about this and comes to /b/ for support.

nigga /b/ is filled with people who work in dollar stores and live in their mother's basements fapping to anime with a fleshlight aged 30 and you want us to FEEL SORRY FOR YOU?

With a BBW wife,genetic prodigy and earning close to 100k each year.

>get the fuck out normie.

>>738554256
Seriously, sounds to me that she might be depressed. But if that is how she has always been, it's just nature. If you don't have anything common anymore, you don't love her, best thing might be to leave her and try to take the kid with you. You just don't have the same values in life and you pretty much have done what you can. You can do better.

>>738554257
where are you ?? my brother in law is an architect and I don't know how much he makes but at LEAST $100k a year

>>738554257
ok but what happened to make you grow apart like that ?

>>738551876
Brother all you need is The Lord.

He can help you with your family. :)

>>738554593
Spain
..

>>738554514
How the hell did you manage to look at her this long? Not every girl is crazy. Some of them are actually rational people.

>>738554361
That's what I'm trying to do. find happiness elsewhere without her. I love the beach and swimming in the summer and BJJ is my obsession and has been for years. problem is I get shit on for this all the time.
just sucks as I had a much more romantic ideal for my marriage

>>738554549
so am I anon, been diagnosed with depression 3 times but can't live with side effects of meds, so just suffering through it. I still work out and take care of myself and my family. it's hard as fuck to even get out of bed every morning.... but I have to

File: eHV49La[1].jpg (979KB, 2722x3629px) Image search: [Google]

979KB, 2722x3629px

There's times I sit back and really worry about what my life is going to be like with my hot, piece of ass girlfriend who is actually truly insane and maybe even dangerous to be around, then I read the things in the this thread and the relief rushes over me. But the depression and anxiety is still there. Pic related

>>738554714
That's very low for an architect... Why don't you come to the United States? you would make so much more

>>738553527
This

>>738554514
Not all of them anon, but I'm sure thats hard to believe right now. Honestly? It sounds like it's time to move on. It sounds like she's given up a long time ago and is just being a massive dick so you instigate divorce proceedings and she can get a decent alimony. Just set yourself up on the side, start doing more of the stuff you like to do and ignore the hard time she tries to give you, start up small savings accounts in your sons names and pay some in each month (this is shit/fan prep), find yourself another place and move out. Do right by your sons, move on and be happy. It may be the wake up call she needs.

File: 1497222410283.jpg (93KB, 694x642px) Image search: [Google]

93KB, 694x642px

>>738551876
If I were you I'd either kill myself or just disappear from the face of the earth and go live somewhere where I cant be found. Second option is prolly your best bet.

>>738554900
I hate to break it to you man.... but she not hot. too skinny and no ass to speak of. so you'll be fine if your worried about guys hitting in her etc

>>738555016
>if your worried about guys hitting in her etc

if only this was true

>>738554714
Househam Henderson are taking on in Madrid. They'll pay you better than 26k

I hear you anon. It's hard to basically tell them to stop being fat and lazy, at least it is if you care about looking shallow. I don't mind admitting I'm a shallow person when it comes to women. I work out 6 days a week and run 6 days a week. I work hard to maintain a physique that my wife finds attractive, so when she had our kids and started slacking off and literally getting fatter by the day, I told her to hit the gym or hit the road. She chose the gym.

File: 1498334198657.gif (714KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

714KB, 500x281px

Do it for the kids.
They deserve a good role model and it seems like you are their only hope.

I wish you the best.

>>738551876

Hi OP

I dont want to sound mean, but can you tell me how to not marry a woman like your wife?

i am 24 yo and would like my first marriage to be my only marriage

>>738555187
Never EVER stay together for the kids. It fucks them up and they'll end up in the same situation as the parents

>>738552080
pretty much this

>>738555232
kek

File: 1497492035258.gif (2MB, 310x325px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 310x325px

>>738555287
It depends on the situation
if there is abuse, do anything to stop the abuse
if there is just mild unhappiness, that is different and staying together is an option

File: 1499544480779.jpg (27KB, 342x316px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 342x316px

>>738555232
It's 2017 buddy, you were born 50yrs too late. If you go the marriage route, expect to be married a couple times. Also new combined families and taking care of your wife's son. Sounds like a blast doesn't it.

>>738555232

Should be the easiest relationship in the world.

>>738555386
>if there is just mild unhappiness, that is different and staying together is an option

Disagree anon, staying together when you don't want to is a form of self abuse. The message that is sent to the kids is "be unhappy"

>>738555593

>raising someone elses child

fuck that, i even think thats where OP fucked up

>>738555232
If you can talk to her about pretty much anything, she wont get mad about stupid shit and will listen to your thoughts. And if she has same values as you. Everyone changes over time physically and mentally, but these are the best advise I can give.

>>738551876
is 70k like 70 000$ a year?
I don't even reach 23 000€ a year, how is your life so complicated you amerifucks?

>>738555718
A women can change attitude overnight, like flipping a switch. I personally call it the Ice Queen effect. In the end, their main concern is self preservation. Not her kids, not her marriage, not her vows. They're wired to be selfish, because they are the centre of their world.

File: 1498436513131.png (478KB, 900x554px) Image search: [Google]

478KB, 900x554px

>>738555684
people will be unhappy for periods of time during a relationship, that is inevitable.

The kids need to see the parents attempt to find a path that betters the families life. Then they will see what needs to happen when a family is unhappy.

>>738555788

Because USA has one of the highest wages around. And they get taxed less

UK here, you're looking at around £40k a year at 35. compared to USA where you're looking at 3 digits. Get taxed less, and dont have to settle for the shittest healthcare

>>738555961
>people will be unhappy for periods of time during a relationship, that is inevitable

Not disputing that, I'm saying that staying together "for the kids" is a problem. It's not a valid reason to stay together and does more harm than good.

I'm not saying don't try, but when the trying is done, and it hasn't worked, it's time to move on to teach your kids that it's ok to be happy

>>738551876
Just take you and your son and RUN. Just run away and never look back

37. Got 4 kids. My wife ways 280. Doesn't even seem to want to loose weight. I go to the gym 4 times a week and weigh 205 lbs. I have worked in a machine shop for 11 years. Job keeps cutting back, yet demanding we make more parts. Have a degree in Business Management, but would have to start at the bottom making shit wages or move. I feel trapped.

File: 1498436202238.jpg (202KB, 413x500px) Image search: [Google]

202KB, 413x500px

>>738556147
Truth

>>738555232
basically don't assume it will get better with time. if she tells you she is going through a phase and will lose weight, or says things like "yeah when I'm in better shape we will defiantly go to the beach all the time" etc

none of that will happen.

>>738551876
Divorce the cunt and drown the autismo

>>738556063
Southern California is a really high cost area, though.

Stick with the bjj. It should make you realize there's always a better way. If you feel it's timee to bail then find a way to reduce your taxable income like a 529 plan for your youngest kid. That way you protect him. You obviously arent a douche since you've stuck it out with a stepson. Still hope. Well your house and move to state midwest. Try for full custody. Document everrything.

>>738555697
his dad take a him every other week, so he's only wit us every other week.

>>738556276
Damn it jesus, quit bumming of my crack

>>738555882
Lol still not every single girl. Yeah I get that A LOT of girls are like that. Maybe it's just girls that have or have had low self esteem that aren't cunts.

>>738555788
San Diego is expansive as fuck. $50k is seriously poverty level

>>738551876
if this isnt horse shit.

sit her down tell her you love her and how you feel otherwise its never going to get any better for anyone involved

your kid doesnt deseve to grow up without a dad

>>738555788
Southern California is a really really expensive area of the US.

>>738555788
Im the one making 26000€ a year, lol europoors :(

>>738556243
sounds the same as me but 4 kids ? damn.

How old are they ? are you close to them? was your wife always so fat ?

>>738556391
Thanks anon. yeah my BJJ and my son are all I have at this point

>>738553164
incite*

>>738556243
"Weights" I mean. Fuck

>>738556486
why do people keep thinking I'm trolling or making it up? why ?

>>738551876

Seems like you need to consider leaving your wife OP.

You only have the one kid tying you two together & really doesn't matter if you are a couple to raise a child. As long as each does their part or you just take care of the kid yourself then that's fine too. There is no point being unhappy forever to try and put on a show to the kid that staying together is the most important thing. The kid will see the unhappiness anyway and will view that dysfunction as a 'normal' family to then be perpetuated to his relationships.

35 isn't that old even bro, you have lots of time left and lots of good years to spend with someone who actually makes you happy.

Can't hang on to what once was or could have been - deal with the reality of the situation.
If you don't have that baggage & only have the kid of yours to worry about you will be much more open/free to pursue your career goals or take initiative with your own life.

You'll end up snapping sooner or later if you stay in which case you'll be years older in the exact same predicament just without the benefit of being younger.

>>738551876
have you threatened to leave her, anon? I think if you show that you're really fucking serious about leaving and make her know that she will panic - you're her livelihood and without you she will have to get up and actually do shit
make her feel awful
make her feel disgusting for being such a pig

>>738554714
Rip my friend this country is a shit, just learn a third idiom like portucheese or german and leave this piece of shit

>>738556811
ok but here is the reality of the situation at least here in fucking California:

- she will take half my salary as alimony for life. we have been married for 10 years and California (along with New York) are the worst towards men in divorce cases. I will probably have to move in with my parents again

- BEST case scenario I Will see my kid 50% of the time. and I HATE THE IDEA of leaving him with her for days at a time. she doesn't even brush his fucking teeth and rarely does anything for him unless I get mad and prompt her to.

- worried she will date so cholo shit head and be around my son. ahe used to have sex with me in bed with my step son sleeping next to us when he was 3. karma will fuck me up.

I know your right... just terrified of how my life will be

>>738551876
more pics of wife's hot ass

File: 8be2b3c9-f449-4d7d-a671-fa9e0b81b07d..jpg (43KB, 1280x691px) Image search: [Google]

43KB, 1280x691px

>>738557625
heh... there's always one anomaly for everything and her it is.

trust me... she's not hot but here you go

>>738551876

thank you op, its posts like these that make being forever alone a bit more bearable

File: 1476417732735.gif (1MB, 167x170px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 167x170px

>>738551876
You had a kid with her. That's where you fucked up. Now, no matter what, even if you leave, you'll never be happy. She'll take half of your shit in the divorce, AND get money for child support. Mistake. Raising an Autistic child is the most thankless job in the world, by the way. They lack the capacity to understand everything you've done for them, so they will always want and expect more. Any less than that, and you're a garbage person. 14 more years until you can be free, kind of, Anon. You got that in you?

>>738557773
i really appreciate this OP lol. her ass def looks nice but I'm assuming the rest isn't all that great?

>>738557851
it's funny... When I was in my early 20s I would see other couples and feel depressed why I never had a gf... then met my wife at 25 and 10 years later still look at other couples but it's mostly out of jealousy as to how attractive the wife looks etc

>>738554058
fake your death.

Honest question: how hard is it raising an autistic child?

>>738554058
Honestly?
If you want to stop this just do it. Tell your wife that either she change her attitude, or you are getting divorced. Your life is ruining you.

File: f289c41a-c57b-4304-9209-62c528518d8b..jpg (46KB, 397x1280px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 397x1280px

>>738557925
Not really. this is her at lightest weight where she looked somewhat decent

>>738554058

fake your death, go swimming and never come back. they will report you drown, and wont find the body, common in the ocean. your son would understand, at least I would.

File: 1394663922750.png (58KB, 219x281px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 219x281px

>>738552869
kek if this last part is real maybe offing yourself is a viable option

actually giving a shit about something you see online, good god are you new to the internet? it's not about being edgy, it's about just completely dissociating yourself from stuff like that. do you also cry when you people make posts about losing their pets or getting cancer? what the fuck is wrong with you

>inb4 b8
fell for it; astonishes me how soft people can be

>having kids
>getting married
that's where you fucked up anon

>>738551876
>That hand

You're clearly a nigger and this is clearly one of the more subtle race mixing threads

File: 1437311740349.gif (1MB, 500x360px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 500x360px

>>738558110
>gut is bigger than her tits
>"somewhat decent"

Nigga, you got a hooked nose or some shit we don't know about?

>>738558053
the hard part was dealing with his asshole dad and bitch step mom while saddled with a weak submissive wife who doesn't stand up for herself and is lazy and needs you to push her to stand up for herself.

the step.mom would harass my wife over how she dresses her son , makes up allergies that don't exist and forces it down our throats, dad nitpicky over tiniest details etc

for the kid... he was ok until now. now he's just selfish and treats my 4 year old son like shit. and like I said her family decided all of a sudden I'm not doing enough because I don't include him in my Facebook fucking pics

fuck them

>>738558250
OP is a nigger, it's the best he could do

Literally ANY white woman is better than 99% of nigger women

>>738551876

Man, I feel you.

You in South Orange County? We could meet up and have some beers. If you feel like chatting a bit.

Anyhow, I would say you need to get to a lawyer and get your ducks in a row if there is no more hope of things getting better. If it isn't there yet, get into couples counseling.

>>738551876
My situation is a bit like yours, we don't have a kid together bu I have a stepdaughter who now drives me crazy, I am paying them to leave, I have given them to august first. Fuck I want to be free so bad I would pay anything to cut them lose.

>>738558250
I never thought I was even remotely attractive no.

I'm only 5'8" for starters and just... ugly. nose eyes ears aren't symmetrical. just hate having my pics taken because it ruins the pic

>>738558250
>>738558110
i agree with op she looks alright there, a little on the chubby side but she's got a great ass

>>738558321
she Mexican, I'm middle eastern but you would think I'm white if a met you

>>738558406
email me at [email protected] if you can man. stay in touch. I'm in San Diego but not too far so who knows?

Happieness is always suspicious.
Start over, just be sure that your kids are being taken care of, in whatever way.
Life is a fucking struggle, do what you need to do.
Oh, and if you would earn twice as much, youd still be bitchin about people who make twice as much as you. Are you starving?
Me is guessing you take way to much care about other peoples opinion.
Godspeed anon.

File: 1b4c7887790f565a92287901a34cb77e--sheep-the-lord.jpg (108KB, 736x980px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 736x980px

christfag here.

praying for all of you guys. not bait.

>>738558536
>Mexican

Jesus man, why didn't you just cut your balls off and save yourself the trouble? The only group of bitches more self-entitled than niggers are beaners

>>738558536
Yeah, fuck all of that. Ya dun goof'd.

>>738554900
Why are you staying with her, this is destroy your life

>>738558536

You could have had a submissive middle eastern girl and you go for mexican?

>>738557564
Maybe wait until your son is a bit older, he can then tell you what's going on. Maybe plan exit strategy, could you get a job in a state that has better divorce law for example, anyways I feels for your situation suck to be alone in a relationship

>>738551876
>12 year old autistic step son
=
>regular 12 year old boy

stop shilling for your corporate masters, slave.

>>738551876
I'm just going to give my two cents, for what it's worth. Your situation is not going to get better OP, unless you make it better yourself. You have to make a change somewhere, or it's only going to keep getting worse. You may need to just issue some ultimatums to your wife, or leave her. She's not going to magically change for the better, she's just going to keep getting more bitchy and fat until she wears you down and you don't even feel up to doing the few things you want to do. You're still relatively young, and if you are in even decent shape you still have a chance to have the hot woman in the bikini - but if you keep things the way they are, then there's no chance. With what you've told us - the laziness, the fact that she doesn't even allow you to have your own interests - I am telling you, you need to get out now. You will regret it for the rest of your miserable life if you don't - but if you do, the only thing you'll wonder is why you didn't do it sooner.

>>738551876
What's your bjj rank bro? I'm a blue belt and training is what keeps me sane. Spend as much time on the mat as you can. That's my advice.

>>738559541
You nailed it

File: 1353402725104.jpg (26KB, 442x341px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 442x341px

>>738551876

>bjj

Tell her how at training one day, you felt a mans dick pressed against your face and you kinda liked it so now you're gay and have to leave

>>738559656
I'm 3 stripe purple. about 5 years in now. it's what makes my day interesting man, and my son. hoping to make black by 9 years at this rate

>>738559541
seriously thinking about it. giving her an ultimatum.

To those suggesting that: what exactly should the ultimatum be ? and what's a fair time frame ?

>>738559854
the funny thing is she keeps joking if I enjoyed rolling around with sweaty dudes... but sometimes I wonder if she's being passive aggressive or just really joking

>>738551876
Same boat here. Im 33. Women are shit now a days. My bitch is also fat ( upwards of 250). We have fraternal twin boys almost 4. My life is finished. Am an aircraft mechanic who lost job in 2014, and since then could not find any work because i have been taking care of the kids. I have to work in another state and dont want to leave kids behind. I cant find any work with my field. Ive tried other outlets such as maint. and such. No calls. No family helps me take care of my kids so we no longer go out on dates. I take care of kids way more than she does, all day im with them, she gets home from work tired and barely helps me at all. She will not clean, shes a pig. When i clean she will fuck everything up again... I feel shitty as well lol

>>738560266

you sound like a woman

>>738560064
She's jealous.

Jealous that you have the drive to get out and do anything but sit around and be lazy, so she's just finding something to mock.

It seems like you've accepted her for who she is but she doesn't want to accept you and love you for who you are.

I might be over simplifying things, but that sounds like she's decided to break her marriage contract..... that whole love and cherish stuff.

As far as I'm concerned she's already told you it's over. Time to move on.

>>738560581
I feel like one

>>738559923
That's good man. You gotta start with the foundation...Yourself. Make yourself happy...then work on making your wife happy. She's obviously depressed as well. I went through the same thing with my son's mother. Its a vicious cycle. They get depressed because of the hormones from child birth...then the weight gain..they feel unattractive and give up and thus the weight gain continues. She's gotta break the cycle.

>>738551876
OP. Assuming this is serious. Do you have an email we can converse on? I'm a child from a divorced family and I'm 16. Got divorced 3 years ago with a crazy Mom that is in the hospital getting psychological treatment. I can tell you the pros and cons of leaving

>>738555882
truth

File: 1498512891294.jpg (356KB, 1364x1600px) Image search: [Google]

356KB, 1364x1600px

>>738558110
Sorry to say it but the vast majority of girls, once they get fat, they stay fat. And get bigger.

>>738558110
tits please!

>>738560266
What a fat pig. Why dont you leave her

>>738551876
post your wife cult i need to fap ....

Run for the fucking hills. A bitch that doesn't support you or your interests can fuck right off.

>>738551876
Ok, so your wife has debilitating depression. No one likes to here this because they think that everyone can just will things away etc. Thats not how it work. Depression is illogical. Thats just how it is. I would encourage treatment from a professional.

The rest I say with the assumption that you want to stay with her.

Now, most people will not get this treatment or have a shitty provider (which might be worse). I recommend a few things: 1) exercise for her, and this means with you. A daily 30 minute walk is a good place to start. After that you can move up to longer walks or hiking or something or youtube is filled with free workout videos. Take a look at hasfit or fitnessblender. I say youtube because fat people dont like to go to the gym as they feel ashamed (this should be an obvious point) and depressed peope are illogical anyway. Now 2) you have to boost her self-esteem, even if artificially. Tell her she looks sexy, try to initiate sex more often. If she cotinues to reject you, don't mope, FFS. Keep at it and use compliments maybe even alcohol. Shes got body image issues and the depression so do what you can 3) I highly recommend some time in nature. It does not have to be getting dirty etc if thats not your thing. Just outside where it is quiet with trees and grass. Together if thats the only way, her alone if thats what it takes. Look up forest therapy it is real....just my two cents, good luck

Also, as this is /b/, show her tits!

>>738557564
Sucks. This Anon had good advice though. I'd find a good divorce lawyer and have them review your situation and give you some options. Then decide from there. You might just have to bite the bullet and do it. If she treats your kid like shit, I'd have child services on speed dial, or again get advice from an attorney. If your wife sucks as much as you say, once the kid hits 8 or so, he'll want to live with you anyway, so make sure you have a nice tidy life so you can accept him when he wants to live with you. Not sure if that would require a trip to family court... again good questions for an lawyer.

>>738557564
>half my salary as alimony for life

this is not true--lawfag here

Don't believe stories about men who get totally screwed by their wives in these situations. You havent been married that long and theres no reason you should have to pay her any child support.

Anon, if you are still here, you need some good old fashioned arm around the shoulder advice. Child support and alimony are almost never as bad as we think. I divorced with a potential hit of around 8k a month. Real world total? 700 bucks month. I'm thinking of you /b/ro. Hope all works out.

>>738564987
>no child support
This doesn't sound right... Usually the deal is sealed when you knock a bitch up...

>>738565693
not if the father gets custody

then again Im just a lawyer who has handled dozens of divorces and you are someone to whom it "doesn't sound right"

>>738566137
I'm a professional in the field of "doesn't sound rightedness." Are you?

I thought not.

Also, how often does the father get granted full custody?

dont leave your kid / dont let it alone - thats important.

>>738566417
Ohh! OP, i got an idea. Turn her into a smack addict then go for full custody! Or meth addict. Your choice!

>>738566417
No, Im a professional who gets paid to tell fuckups how to make their lives a little less miserable

It is unusual for either side to get complete custody, but child support is a sliding scale based on a wide range of factors. If the kid is mostly with the dad and the mom has visitation, then there isnt gonna be child support

>>738566663
>No, Im a professional who gets paid to tell fuckups how to make their lives a little less miserable

That's about as accurate of a definition of lawyer as I ever heard. I am no longer skeptical of you. I was the anon above recommending OP contact an attorney - certainly the best way to go here.

>>738551876
>make only $70k

stfu you whiny bitch

>>738566920
Ha, yes, well that is what I do much of the time. Things would be better for everyone if my clients actually took my advice, but thats for another day.

This anon at least needs to talk to a laywer. I urge everyone to check the actual options before saying you're stuck in a marriage because you would get fucked in the divorce. I think that is a total cop out. If your shit is together at all, you won't get screwed that hard. I mean, you still have to pay your attorney though

Is it really that bad all the time?
I'm in a -very- similar situation except the 12year old step son.... and sometimes I feel exactly like you. "why doesn't she work out just a bit", "she didn't do anything at home", "everytime I follow one of my hobbies or work out myself a have a bad conscience, cause I know she will hold it against me when I come home",.... I have about 1h actual spare time a day...
But then there are times, where we are all extremely happy and that's worth all the efforts I put into my work and family. If my 6yo and 1 yo smile at me when I come home from work that gratifies a lot.... Also, I do love my wife more than anything and when I'm at home for a day while she is outside doing whatever it is, I see that it's actually hard to keep a tidy house and do some house work with a 1yo and a 6yo at home....
...just sharing....

>>738551876
fuck this bitch man, keep your bjj training, focus in your kid and bjj, it will help you, go there everyday and train, make friends, be part of it.

I have been training por 9 years, and it is the best party of my life, i can forget everything, and just be happy with my son, my wife is a bitch, i only fuck her when she asks for it.

Get yourself laid, then murder your wife. Jk dont do that thats illegal

I've been in your exact situation but I was around 30. Decided to break up. Had to sell the house with € 42000 loss. I am 39 now and typing this at my parents house, in my little sisters old bedroom which is now my living room. I have had relationships since but it is hard to find a good match. At this age, most of them have bagage which you would have to accept aswell. I live my life in regret. Not because of ending my relationship but feeling like I have failed my kids. I look forward to seeing them every other weekend and try to be the best dad I can be to them. The emptiness when they leave again is hart to bear. I have no real advice for you, just be very certain when you make big decisions,you might feel different about it after some time.

I'd rather 1 fucking second of glory than a whole life of dissapointment and bitterness.
Take your chromosomes seriously and remember that if you are a man, you are made for glory and fights. Women are made for love and falling in love.

Get your shit together and remember that happyness is a lot of context!

tldr; Baited anon here and gave some Grade "SS" Life counseling.

>>738568234

Does anyone here have a happy ending?

>>738568604
I'm a single dad to a 9yo and its not so bad. The mom is a fuckup but that is her problem, not ours.

OP here:

have to say this place surprised me with all the genuine advice. thank you guys.

as a 35 year old.... realistically how young can I date and not have it be weird ?

>>738568604
I've known plenty of guys that are much happier after dropping their deadweight wives. I'm mostly happily married, but you know what I'd do... Move into a cheap-ish apartment, but a truck with a camper and spend every minute I could exploring. And generally just doing whatever the fuck I wanted. And taking my kid on trips with me and teaching her as much as I could.

File: 4370c067-aa52-4ae9-af82-a206990dfdf5..jpg (44KB, 488x1280px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 488x1280px

Do you guys think it she loses weight though she will lose her tits and ass? or would she proportionally look better ?

>>738568908
>>738568915
Find an 18 year old with daddy issues. Combine that with my truck/camper idea, and bang her in every state you can. Then move on to someone actually mature and sane after you got that out of your system. Or not - be single for a while.

>>738569095
My god, she's dumpy as fuck. Tits will probably get saggy. So be ready for that. If you like flapjacks on a nail, it might work out for you.

you know...that's the problem!
You are just thinking of getting out of a relationship and want to gt instantly on another!

Goddamit OP be a fucking man and get yourself a rest! Night clubs are filled with fuckable pussies! date and shit is not the question.

Who the fuck are you after the impact of reality is the fucking question.

And if you don't get your shit together by then...then, say hello to being a "lost one" yeah...that guy who is fucked by every aspect of existance but it's too pussy to pull the trigger on his forehead...

Jesus Christ mate...how hard is it to think for a minute...

>>738551876

>step son

You knew what you were getting into. Fuck off.

>>738552263
Loose the Facebook account. Anyone that you'd like to show a picture to, send it to them personally.

>>738552263

Nonono, YOU chose to waste the prime years of your life with her.

>>738555287

Are you daft? Kids needs loads of attention and care, one parent can't possibly provide that and creating stepchildren just exacerbates the problem as existing children repel all sane people.

>>738556398

Oh yeah, that's going to be SUCH a great kid when he's raised as a commodity and a burden. Good thing his dad is still around too, that'll really make him bond to you as you're now the main obstacle from his perspective for his parents ever getting back together.

>>738554256
Have you tried marriage counseling? If she refuses to hear your concerns, maybe a neutral third party will reinforce what you'd like from the relationship and vise versa.

>>738551876
>but for last 10 years she simply gives up on doing anything to lose weight.
>I can't go to the beach to swim once a week because she will get bitchy, my bjj class is 1 hour a day and she makes fun of it all the time.
Why are you squandering all your free time on faggy martial arts when you could be at home eating that juicy ass? If my gf was that thicc I would fucking worship her.

>>738551876
Good luck dude, just remember that you are in control of your own life. It is going to be worse before it gets better, but it's going to be worth it in the end. It's never too late.

>>738570525

What the fuck does that even mean faggot? OP should just realize that his wife is nagging him so she doesn't have to improve herself in order to avoid competition with other females.

Instead OP should just ignore the fuck out of her, exercise and improve his life so she'll be terrified he'll leave and get off her lardass.

>>738554533
It's tough out here in California. Even a 100k income for a family of 4 is tough.

Hey man, I feel you.

You shouldn't have to deal with her bullshit. Either divorce her and try to get custody (or joint) or just be miserable your entire life. The best decision would be to divorce her and find someone better than her. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Remember, no matter how shitty it gets, there will always be someone out there to help you.

>>738555882
California and New York are the most expensive states to live in. 70k/yr goes no where especially if OPs wife has no job

>>738570983

Divorce is not option, they have a child and alimony will prevent him from finding another wife as he'll be dead broke.

>>738571109
True anon, didn't think about that. He's in a really shitty situation so all we can do is at least make him feel better.

Dude just leave her any excuses you throw at me are just that excuses, that or kill yourself

>>738556579
4 is way too many. They are 1, 5, 8, and 11 years old. They are super cute and fun sometimes, but so stressful. My wife actually used to be cute and had a ton of dudes after her. She was still on the bigger side, like 150lbs.

>>738570684
I wasn't saying that he should accept the situation or stay with her. Just that whatever he ends up doing is going to be hard, and that it's not worth continuing the life he has now. Fuck being a zombie in life.

>>738571610

Have you read your own post?

>Good luck dude, just remember that you are in control of your own life. It is going to be worse before it gets better, but it's going to be worth it in the end. It's never too late.

What you are doing is saying exactly NOTHING that helps OP, but it makes you feel good about yourself. It's selfish and ugly to watch. It's called virtue signalling. It's a form of masturbation.

>>738571109
hey, lawfag still here. Do not stay in a shitty marriage just because you think your wife will take all of your money. Theres a very good chance she can't and won't, unless you yourself are an actual piece of shit. In that case , fuck off

>>738553467
Where are u from anon

>>738558676
Thanks Jesus

>>738568908

My last gf was 18, i was 28.

My current new gf is 17 until july, im 31.

No one fucking cares. The only ones who care are the 18 year old bois who don't get to fuck her and the 18 year old girls who can't fuck me.

Fuck yeah, Europe!?

>>738569095
My god, she is fat. Get her to lose weight and go to the gym as you do or else leave her.

>>738568604
Sure. I was in a very similar situation but had two kids in the mix. I live in a MUCH more conservative state and am the father in the relationship. I ended up with full custody of both of my kids. There was cheating, but I couldn't use it. I just kept record of all of the dumbass things that she did, had documentation to back it up and went to court as I needed to. If she is as lazy and slack as you say she is then the kids wont go to school when they should, wont go to to the doctor when they should, won't live ina positive environment like you can provide. If she CAN work then the court will make her work. If she hasn't been working for a long time, she is likely to fuck that up too. You have to take the high road all the time and not get stuck in any drama with her. You need to decide what you are going to do and immediately consult an attorney and have them guide you through how best to handle yourself. You can win if you try and she may not be able to get alimoney if she is capible of working. it can be dicey, but I'd rather be living/persuing the life I want than being a bitch and letting somebody else who doesn't care about me decide my standard of living. There are much better companions out there. If she isn't going to make it better for you all, then leave. Period. You are only getting older.

>>738571903

He's in Commiefornia and he has a child with her while she's 100% dependent on him for income, he's fucked I think but if you have legal advice to get him out of there, go ahead.

The key part of the sentence is HE HAS A CHILD WITH HER and I don't think it's fair that the child has to suffer because he fell for a dumb feminist meme.

I think you'll enjoy this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMYX__Z6hvE

>>738574255

That could work, but he'd have to tell new partners that the mom died or you'll get a really fucked up situation where the mom wants to see the child, but there's the step-child whose father is also around. It's a mess.

>>738574771
Oh good I can tell you're familiar with California family code section 4320.

Instead of going through some big thing to show that you don't know what you're talking about, I will simply ask: why do you think you have any idea what you're talking about? TV tell you about spousal support? Maybe your buddies? The internet?

Really?

>>738569095
Mexican you say? Let's see them dark nips.

>>738551876
It sounds to me like you're way too good for your wife and settled.
You'll never be fulfilled with settling for something and should probably leave and take the youngest kid with you.
The main thing is making sure your day cunt wife doesn't get any of your hard earned money.
>do your research
>know divorce law
>figure out what you need to do
>don't regret staying safe and unhappy in a sad marriage/home
>how many people like that do you know?

>>738575304

I just told you I'm not a legal expert and that you should probably help him if you have a solution

>>738551876
Lots of people are stuck in a similar grind anon. Underpaid and over worked, stuck in a relationship that doesn't provide their physical and emotional needs, and burdened by the crushing weight of endless responsibility.

You cold get a divorce, but that's honestly just a different set of very difficult problems for a man in your shoes. I suppose you could an hero, but if you were gonna do that you're better off heading to Mexico and doing piles of blow and banging 2 peso Mexican whores until you keeled over.

I'd suggest taking the time and money to make yourself happy, so long as it doesn't prevent you from providing for your family. Ignore the bitching and just do your thing. And to be honest, your wife probably feels the same as you anyway, but isn't capable of dealing with it in a responsible and healthy way. Might be good to try some kind of counseling. You never know, you might find your wife taking steps to improve things.

Good luck anon.

>>738577176
and your wife has a great ass...

File: tenor.gif (648KB, 498x202px) Image search: [Google]

648KB, 498x202px

remember this movie? great movie.

i met the location scout from it the other day. old italian prick.

>>738577734
OP here

you mean my wife??

>>738551876
stop falling for the 30 is old meme, you are going to hit 50 and look back wondering why you didn't dip. i know plenty of guys in their late 30s fucking 20 year old girls.

>>738555882
agreed.

>>738558406
not OP but san juan capistrano reporting in.

>>738553467
that pic makes life worth living

>>738568908
at that age I'd say no younger than 24

>>738553570
60k is pretty good depending on where you live. If it's enough to have a comfortable existence, what does it matter if someone else makes twice as much?

>>738580741

Laguna here.

Wassup man.

Dude, how does an old guy score some weed? Wife is out of town and I want to partake, but don't know anyone.

Fuuuuck life

>>738551876
Id be happy to fuck your wife if you're tired of her.

you need to regain control of your life. stop being a beta fag falling to her needs. watch rsd on youtube. thank me later.