>be me >get off work >walking to car downtown >see

>Kickass pain meds

What puss needs meds for some stitches

>>738302439
awesome, since im not a lying baiting faggot ahem ahem

Fakest story I've read all month.

you're pretty fucking lucky, but GJ

>>738302608
I was given lidocaine for the stitching but I'm not gonna turn down free Vicodin

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>>738302439
Anon you legend. Imma grow up to be you one day. Way to come out on top there buddy. This anon approves. Post threads on relationship later down the line. K ?

>>738302685
i was given herp a durpp slurp a cock in my ass excuse me what did you just say?

>>738302439
If true, gg OP

>>738302439

i want to lick your nipples.

>>738302439
>Caring about a roastie
>Sacrificing yourself for a roastie
You're still not gonna get laid

Wow. A white knight in the flesh bois. Got pistol whipped and didn't even get to first base. Nice.

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Definitely not fake. Stupid ass 2mb limit. Good thing for Snapchat

feels thread for this poor fuck lying to us to try and boost his confidence
>looks like an albino ethopian
>threw the guy 3 feet
>did 20 cock push-ups right after

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filename

I'll bite. why didn't you get the girls info?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>738302919
>Lying.
>Not image searching.
cuck

>>738302439
Fake story. If it were real the bitch and you probably both deserve it.

>>738302439
>I grab myself by the crotch and shoulder

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I think op is truthing

>>738303030
fuck you and your digits.

>>738302982
She gave me her number. I didn't feel like sticking around too long since I had blood dripping down my face.

>>738303115
YESSSSS. Finnaly someone who agrees. with me >>738302731

>>738302910
more like you were riding on a fuckin pogo stick and hit your head on mommas SUV. herrrrp derrrrp im gunna take pictures of myself getting stiches so i can show the world how badass i am herrrrp derrrp i bet the docs were laughing at you when they left the room. seriously go choke on a telephone wire you autistic peice of human trash.

>>738302731
Will do! Dude, I was given a shot of stuff right into my scalp and now I don't feel shit. My dad says he can see my skull.

>>738303115
if i cut my dick, i could tell the world it was from fucking jesus in the asshole. proof needs to be absolute you faggot

>>738302439
Who did you beat up, lol? You look 12.

>>738303195
lol then you will find out that she was a lying theiving cunt for yourself. followed by some dipshit 'hero' trying to 'save a damsel in distress' when you are getting your shit back.

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Gonna have a small bald spot but not bad. Hardly felt a thing. Just popped a few Vicodin for the headache. Might pass out.

>>738303481
lol you got brain damage and a bald spot for some stupid bitch who is probably an evil cunt.

>>738303481
do us all a favor and never wake up

hmm...idk op. it went well in the end for u but you coulda been killed mate.

>>738303623
But he wasn't

>>738302439

If true, cool bro.

>>738303589
>>738303615
Don't cut yourselves on those edges

>>738302999
trips dont lie

>>738303763
why not? if i did, i could upload a picture of the injury with a false story on b!

>>738302910
Dad got that rolex tho..

>>738303763
Lol the second guy was a different guy. people give women too much credit, they are mostly bad subhuman scum. We need to repeal their ability to vote, drive, etc.

Translation:
>be me
>kissless virgin
>see a cute couple
>imagine how cool it would be if the big guy was trying to physically drag the girl and I beat him up
>didnt realise that I wasn't looking where I was going.
>ended up in a bad car crash
>Have to lose my license, attempt of murder, pressed charges against me
Already had my dad to pay a $30,000 fine since he is a doctor
How's everyone else doing tonight?

>>738303932
She probably is a little cunt but I don't think I'll text or call her. She's a 7/10 at best and everyone I work with are 8s and 9s

>>738303976
the truth hurts, dont it OP

>>738304052
OP, don't pass up the poon dude. Just don't.

>>738304052
Trust me bro she isn't a diamond if she was with an asshole like that. She is damaged goods. Damaged women will find a way to fuck you over in the end, always. Women can't be saved or repaired. Take it from a guy who thought he could save his girlfriend by being the greatest bf for over five years. They just go insane on the meds their doctors prescribe them. Find a cute girl that you actually think is smart and snag her. If you are already with a girl who is dumber, drop the dumbo fast. I promise you won't regret it in the long run.

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>>738304122
Gonna have to pass seeing as I have a pregnant gf.
>>738303976
Kissless virgin with a pregnant gf? Truth hurts don't it
>>738304058

>>738304052
>>738304122
Listen to dubanon.
Deuce deuce means at least be a gracious gentleman and stick it in her pooper. Don't you unmannered kids ever say "you're welcome" anymore or is "yeap" enough?

>>738304579
Abort that shit quickly man. Nothing good comes from raising a child in the world, especially at your age. You will miss out on the golden years of college.

>>738304579
This is obviously not you.

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>>738304756
At 7 months? Yeah fucking right. Stupid nigger, I'm going to be responsible and stand by my actions. Besides, look at her!

>>738304579
Congrats on the pregnant gf! Who's the father?
[spoiler]don't you give us that "I'm the father since I'm gonna be the one raising it" crap[/spoiler]

>>738304963
I am the actual father
>>738304927
And yes it is bitch boy.

you shouldn't of been a bitch and got stitches, then you wouldn't have a such a massive scar. allow that shit to clot fast and don't wash your hair for several days, you woulda been solid

>>738304952
You already are long past the point of being responsible. Enjoy your miserable future of cellulite and saggy titties, potentially a gaped vag too. I wish I had been single more years of college instead of dating the same bitch the entire time.

>>738305118
It gets infected if you don't stitch it properly. And I would have a huge scar if I left a gaping hole in my head.

>>738303976
>implying you're not a kissless virgin like the rest of us

>>738304952
Also your gf is actually pretty ugly. I'm not even trying to be mean. I sincerely would not fuck her at your age or my own. Then again I have standards. Her skin looks fake tanned as shit and her hair color is so unnatural it makes me want to shave it.

>>738305173
Someone shit the bed this morning. Haha just because you already have an ugly bitch gf doesn't mean OP will after she pops. My wife bounced back after a couple years. Sure, her body isn't the same but she's still got it alright! I might actually like it more now. Good luck OP! She's gorgeous

>>738302755
do you have autism?

>>738304963
>I'm the father since I'm gonna be the one raising it
>le precious muh copyrighted genes
>>>/pol/
and stay there

>>738305360
Nah I had a sexy girlfriend x10 hotter than OPs. She turned bad and we split so I could date younger women and keep my wealth. Bitches get hysterical when you say you don't want to get married. OPs girlfriend is sincerely far below my standards of would bang.

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Guess what shitdick, your not gonna smash,women will continue to get manhandled, and your slowly but surely developing an addiction to pain killers. Next time mind your own fuckin business and keep your hands off that dudes dick you fucking faggot.

Oh that's such a cute story from your parents basement! I really like how you're putting your degree in anthropology and communications to good use!

Keep it up. Mommy is impressed and Daddy isn't disappointed and/or knows what a shotgun barrel tastes like or anything.

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>>738305359
So quick to judge. She had a lot of makeup on that day which I don't really care for, so I'll give you that, but her hair color is natural. I think I had a filter on Snapchat for that pic.

>>738305547
Found the douchebag

>>738305022
Prove it's you, weak beta pussy.

>>738302439
You risked your life over a total stranger which shows courage but if have any sort of friendship with this girl its just asking inviting drama into your life

>>738305602
lol proof that Op was a baiting faggot the entire time. I have masterful facial recognition and I can tell this is a different bitch. The eyes are not the same AT ALL.

>>738305433
He does. As far as spectrum goes, he's stretched from end to end.

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>>738303589
>>738303615
>OwTheEdge.jpg

I feel like such a fedora wearinf neckbeard fag, but i wish i could find myself in thag kind of situation one day.
Every one comes out relatively unharmed ofcourse...

>>738305850
I would gladly say that to your face. I love conflict.

>>738305747
Obviously not! There's at least a year in between these pics. One pic from a phone with a Snapchat filter (here eyes are too blue) and the other pic from a Canon 70D with a 70-200 lens. The perspective is way different because of the device taking the pics. Take your b8 elsewhere

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>>738304952
She looks like if I asked her to add the change in her pocket, she would have trouble...

>>738302685
Nice, Vicodin is always good, hopefully they give you the strong stuff. Mmm pain meds sound fuckin yummy right now.

>>738304052
>Saved a seven
>Work with 8/9s
>Get a 3 preggo

Holy shit my sides

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>>738302439
OP delivered today

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>>738302439
Lmfao, all these faggots hating OP for having his life together

>b-.. but having a kid th-.. that young you miss out!

>y-... your girlfriend is ugly d-.. dude I wouldn't fuck that not trying to be mean he-...

Fucking faggots

>>738303932
go back to Saudi Arabia you mudslime scum

>>738302439
>not a beta
>almost fucking died for a random girl

Nothing in the world is more valuable than your life. Stupid fucking thing to risk it over. Her gratitude will fade quickly. Don't be surprised if you get a "thanks for saving me, but I have a boyfriend."

>>738302439
great going dude

>>738306002
Thanks bro. If you're in Illinois I'll buy you a beer

>>738305924
Nice try. I know faces mate. These are different people. I can recognize people from a side glance even after a decade.

>>738304052 cool story bro, but I can't even read it when your big-ass hot-air-filled head is blocking the screen

>>738304952
Yeah. She fine. Keep the kid. Who knows, maybe he'll find a cure for autism, although it probably involves getting rid of tumblr and 4chan.

>>738302439
They don't give pain killers to cancer patients, let alone a cut like that.

That's the war on drugs for ya.

>>738304579
You stupid little shit. If you have a child, it's your responsibility to not risk your fucking life for a stranger.

>>738305982
Umm no he didn't ... Not one timestamp or proof any of this happened.. he's just a kisses faggot

For fucks sake did you see the ugly ass bitch he got pregnant? And he talks about 7-9s ... And then fucks THAT!
Whole story fake and gay

>>738306002
Saving a random girl isn't EXCATLY the same as having your life together. Anyone over 200 pounds can do whatever OP did, and still live in their ma's basement.

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>>738306219
Someone's full of shit here.

>>738306227
This. I'm out. nice bait for a minute faggot op.

>>738306270
Did you not see his other posts?

>>738306227
fuck off idiot, the girls looks great, she is beautiful, if you think otherwise why dont you post your bitch, and dont post your dog or your right hand faggot

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Haha OP look at all these butthurt bitches in this thread. Everyone is jealous. Look at my captcha btw

As much as I want to slam all of your heads through a glass window who think I'm full of shit, thinks she's ugly, or whatnot. Instead I'm gonna feed my cat and watch some Netflix. Thanks to all who support me. Night /b/

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Spiderman Thread?

>>738306437
godspeed OP, thanks

>>738306219
They gave me percs when they did a pretty painless bone transplant (the only thing that hurt was the day after, cuz of the trauma from incision) 30 day supply. 5mg a pop. Not sure what hick anti-drug town you live in.

>>738304756
You should have been aborted you genetic mistake.

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>>738306478
Spiderman thread.

>>738302439
Next time bitch, come my way. I'll make sure to pop your skeleton ass back to the grave.

>>738306270
This plus sage for the white knight faggot.

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>>738306372
Mine faggot
Take your ugly ass bitch and GTFO with your bs

>>738306721
11/10 Will have worry wrinkles and crows feet in a few years.

ITT everyone posts pics of their GF's and we determine who's hotter

>>738306270
So what you're saying is your fat, and you think you could take on a man with a gun? I highly doubt that neckbeard.

>>738306437
Good faggot take that troll and fucknoff back to your bridge

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Next person who says op has an ugly gf

>>738306841
Oh wow a man with a gun. So scurrrrry. The real hero is the bitches boyfriend who decided to hit the faggot with the fun rather than shoot him.

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>>738304579
Have fun with that little bastard. Not sure why you think that's something to brag about.

>>738306775
Like I will be with her in a few years .. I'm not a faggot like op

>>738306887
Id let her suck my chode.

>>738306930
Same reason teenage girls want to get pregnant early. They want to make up for their shortcomings elsewhere.

>>738302439
>no one believes his bullshit irl so he comes to 4chin to get attention
>faggots, newfags, don't have a life so they believe his bullshit
ITT
/thread

>>738306913
Post a pic of yourself, I want to see your man boobs and acne, fatfuck.

>>738306913
Nigger

>>738306913
Pop that top off and give us a timestamped pic of your muscles. Also, your a nigger.

>>738306913
I bet you this guy knows Krav Maga and is a total badass.

>>738307178
*You're bad at grammar.

>>738307329
That's because I'm dumb as fuck. Let's see them jelly rolls big boy.

>>738302439
>stitches
I would just staple your ass and call you a faggot.

>>738307403
6'8" superior white race here. You can't comprehend my superiority nigger.

>>738307030
>>738307070
>>738307178
>>738307279
>>738307403
Op samefagging this hard when busted for his lies
In B4 look at my ss

>>738307543
Timestamp Timestamp Timestamp

if no pic, you're opinion is invalidated and you have bitchtits. I bet you ooze beta and spaghetti.

>>738303115
While I think he is, this is also far from a conclusive test.

>>738307663
Not OP smalldick

>>738307697
>>738307715
>>738307770
Dam op just stop you are busted . Get over it

>>738307697
I'm not a bitch like you so rules need not apply.

>>738302439
Living in the fucking moment, my man!
All I did was stay in bed and shitpost for 4-5 hours, then sleep at 12.30.

>>738307916
>>738307923
Those posts were all me, yes and duh. Let me see that neckbeard bro!
>>738307923
>>738307923
Bitchtits is bailing out guys! Confirmed fatty!

>>738305547
lol this dude. eat shit m8 :^)

kek

>>738306721
dude the fuck, OPS girl looks way better, djeesz what a skanky nasty looking bitch lmfao

>>738306721
Ugh I just noticed this one. Pale, bad hair, fivehead. Pass.

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>>738308068
Here faggot

>>738302439
>>throw his ass 3 feet and lands on his head
how nigga there are no muscles on ya

>>738303589
Truth

>>738308385
No timestamp, fat cheeks, avoids chest area to avoid man breasts.

>>738308024
>>738308068
>>738308081
>>738308266
>>738308369
And the samefagging continues unabated

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>>738308527
Nope just those 2

>>738302439
my moneys bet on OP never has sex with her
>cucked by rapist pimp

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>>738302439
>pistol whips me
I've always wanted to pistol whip someone just to say I pistol whipped someone.

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>>738308494
>Mfw no op asks for timestamp when all thread he has provided no proof

>>738308740
For the last time, I'm not OP dumbass. Try again.

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>>738302439

>>738308385
Where is your hair

>>738308802
Oh you're OP's bitching troll. You're worse than he is.

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>>738302439
Fuck that hand to hand shit.
Me being a fucking redneck...the minute he pulls out a piece...his ass is laying in a pool of his blood.
Why the fuck don't you cucks carry a gun?
If you do not have a felony on your record ITS FUCKING LEGAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And even if ya have a felony...FUCK THE POLICE....when death is seconds away...the police ar minutes away.
Just remember that last bit

>>738308956
I have a talent for finding low confidence betas.

>>738308802
/b/ - Random
The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.
Ok op ok

>>738309060
Wow you're so rough and tough you must be puff that straw story down!

>>738308903
Shaved .. summer gets fucking hot an electrician

>>738309123
Cringed
>Tips hat, m'lady

>>738309124
He's really mad. Don't remind him he's wrong. He might show his true form and start posting lady boy pictures.

>>738309124
>>738309176
>>738309203
Yep, sure is summer in here, you're right! Also you're bald. That sucks.

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>>738309164
Oh...just bring that fuckin SJW defense....suck my redneck cock

>>738309304
Haha, yeah I'm the one that's mad, totally! I'm having fun here bro!

>>738309351
THE CULT OF THE LOST CAUSE STRIKES AGAIN!

>>738309351
People like you are an embarrassment to be pooled in with.

>>738309436
Yup he's mad lol.

Lamp fell on OP. Playing hero on 4chan.
Fake story is fake

>>738309545
Actually you're right. All of the sudden I'm butthurt now that you mention it! FUCK YOU DUDE REEEEEE

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>>738309060
You realize how nobody dies in op's story while someone dies in yours, you redneck faggots are too busy thinking about your cousin's assholes to think about what stupid ideas you pull out of your ass

>>738302439
lol you got rekt

>>738309669
Id kill a faggot who tried to rob me or injure me. You're a cuck if you wouldn't.

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>>738302439

>OP wanted to look good
>makes story up
>actually at home jerking off to loli
Jump out of a three story building faggot

>>738302731
I want to fuck this anon

>>738309879
>MUH AK 16b7twelve
>MUH NIFE
>MUH GENADE
go back to /k faggot

> unregistered firearm

Stay in your commie state please, don't infect the rest of the states with that brand of bull shit

>>738309669

heh........sure kid.

>>738310354
What's it like being totally emasculated?

>>738302439
>throw his ass 3 feet
You look like a malnourished child

>>738310790
emaculated by words on a screen?

what's it like being that full of yourself?

I'm drunk and sad

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Fake....
I kill in the first hit.....

Fagg.......

>>738310881
You just sound like a total pussy is all.

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>>738311069

>>738310911
I'm sorry anon. Feel better. Don't drink too much.

>>738311134
Op kicked a gun-wielding guy's ass, you would've needed to rely on a gun, and you're calling me the pussy? dora the fucking explorer is less of a coward than you.

This thread has some A+ bants

>>738302439
timestamp or gtfo newfag

>>738306227
this is why /b/ sucks now. you faggots harping on the timestamp. just take it at face value and you will have alot more fun

LYING FAGGOT!

Only a dumb fuck would get involved in something like this. Call the cops and stay out.

>>738311315
top kek what are you even saying to me? You like Dora the Explorer?

>>738311470
Yeha only an idiot like you would pull that shit out that sentence, just give up you're grasping at straws now, I'm out

>>738311579
WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT DORA REEEEEEEEEEE

>>738302439
probably op in the pic, but looks more like he has a skater body build, so my guess is he ate shit on his skateboard and is just bullshitting, he looks like such a pussy.

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>>738302439

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>>738302439
>throw his ass 3 feet and lands on his head
>>738302439

>throw anyone besides a toddler with that laffo build

Nice pecs and shoulders there bub. I'm sure you physically tossed him all right

(voted OP drunkenly tripped into a bbq after his first beer this last 4th of july, all the other 13 year olds were impressed)

>>738302439
Damn, props to you.

>>738302439
Sounds fake but enjoy getting stalked if true. Also go to a fucking barber and get a haircut that doesn't belong on an autistic kid before seeing girl

>>738302439
Thats some god-tier armpit hair m8