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Feels thread my /b/ros. Post your stories, post your songs.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 283
Thread images: 84

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Feels thread my /b/ros.

Post your stories, post your songs.

So tell me, what makes you hurt anon...
>>
Dark
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2nPBOPhO62c
>>
>OP here
Im willing to share my story and my songs if anyone is inerested, Help a /b/ro, and ill help a /b/ro...
>>
>>738195120
hows your day anon?
>>
>>738195725
Sad to say, dependant upon some deep songs, what about you anon...?
>>
>>738194769

Sounding
The practice of inserting plastic or metal 'sounds' (long thin and very smooth objects) into yours or someone elses uretha. Ultimately leads to streching of the uretha so that larger objects (such as a finger) can be inserted in the penis.
Bob had sounded himself so much his girlfriend could shove a tampax IN his cock.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sounding
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>>738195806
songs like this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OW9K84EbU4

and im feeling regular today, wake up and hop on the computer, nothing really interesting.
>>
>>738196109
of course lil peep, hes helped alot more than id like to say. Star shopping, your favorite dress, etc etc. all sad but comfort music.
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this right here
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>>738196251
yeah i always fall back in this album,
https://youtu.be/4OMda91q20c?t=199
or that song specifically
ive listened to it for the past couple years its been out, got any suggestions? also hope life brightens up soon my friend.
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>>738196539
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lMlsPQJs6U

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pdfn4KmPk4

One of my favorite thinking songs and one of my favorite guitar heavy songs that always seems to lighten the mood.
>>
Everything in my life is spiraling apart and I can see myself swinging towards Nazism by the whims of arrogant pullbacks.
My mind is not my own and life appears calculated to extents that are completely beyond my control, even now with me saying this I am stretched back forward into spineless anxiety.
I'm going to die tonight, I need to get to a gas station now before it closed.
I know people can hear me, and I know they will try to prepare and call the police to have me send to prison
I know Hell exists, and because I know it materializes more until I'm completely trapped
Instead, I'm going to rely on blind faith that I will be cast into nonexistence rather than constantly raped in a fiery pit of death
Nobody is trying to help me, they are trying to control me, and now that I see more I can do nothing to stop this fluttery cuck shit
>>
>>738196837
emo fag
>>
>>738196736
damn, listening to the first song, really nice,
the second one is pretty good too
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Hey OP, love ya bro. Whatever is going on, I hope you'll see the rainbow in the gloomy skies.

We're here for you. Always have been. Always will /b/.
>ba dum tss
>ps have this calming wallpaper
>>
>>738196940
Up yours man, can't see the good in the world without everything complicated and everyone's giddy to watch me squeal because I'm a sad, weak fucking human being
They even knew to leave the gun compartment unlocked just to taunt me
There's no end to this shit
>>
>>738197319
Thank you anon, i hope the waters clear up soon. Appreciate the wallpaper too.
>>
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anyone got any storys its really nice reading them and imagining myself in the posters position and what i would do.
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>>738197837
>OP here
SO mine is kind of lengthy and somber if that makes it better, should i post???
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>be me
>be 15
>mom has day of of work
>wake up to a delicious breakfast
>go to school
>surprisingly have a good time
>come home
>forgot key this morning
>knock on door
>no answer
>call mom's phone
>no answer
>try to look through windows
>no luck
>time to ninja my way in
>climb through window
>find mom not responding laying in bed
>call 911
>they take there sweat ass time
>try everything to save her
>paramedics arrive on foot
>wtf.png
>ambulance broke down a block away from my house
>second ambulance arrives a few minutes later
>they need to air lift her
>helicopter "broke down"
>fucking bullshit.gif
>she was confirmed dead on the way to the hospital
She was my best friend, my mom.
>>
Hey /b/, how is everybody? I personally am doing shitty as usual, but I want to hear, what is plaguing the rest of you?
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>>738198115
i dont mind ill read it anyways
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>>738198898
unlucky
>>
>>738199062
yup, it sucks.
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>>738198898
fug
>>
>>738198956
Most of this stems from my father and the issues he caused my family. So, im not greentexting because im lazy as fuck and it takes away from the story....

My dad, when we were growing up, abused heroin and stole my moms prescription pills, oxy, things like that. She has fibromialgia, diabetes and all sorts of shit wrong with her. When i grew up, she would sell her pills for cash, 24 bucks a pop. She got money for bills and some extra if we wanted. My dad stole money and ended up beating all three of us, me, my mom, and my brother. I ended up trying to kill myself and was diagonesed with clinical depression. This was about age 14, maybe 13, its fuzzy, sorry anon. Things were bad, very very bad. I cried nightly, was teary eyes and depressed 90 percent of the time. Some deeper shit went along with it...

>Im continuing but let me post this pic from my phone, it adds to detail.
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>>738196503
10/10 cute
>>
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>>738198921
During the school year I texted a friend back home (I was living out of state at the time and had a crush on her all throughout high school) and she talked about how much she misses me and she would tell me that she loved me. We talked about dating when I get home. Fast forward to now, I have been home a few weeks and I have asked her on three dates. The first two she said no because she was busy but then she finally let the truth slip. "Dont be mad at me," she said, "but I can't go on a date with you because Im already talking to another guy right now and thats not fair to him."

I spent the last few moths talking to her. Only to have my heart crushed.

I don't really care what happens to me now. I dont sleep much anymore. I havent showered in 3 days. Its not that I dont know I will get zits if I dont wash my face, but I dont care anymore. Its not that I dont care if my hair is greasy, but I have no motivation to shower. Its not that I dont care about myself. Im just so tired of making an effort to accomplish anything. Im so tired anon. I am so tired of living
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>>738194769
Sonder is a made up word by a guy trying to sell a book of other made up words.
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>>738198956
So, around the age of 15 or 16, i met this girl, lets call her malerie.

>Pic related.

Shew beautiful, isnt she. She brightens my life up a bit, bit by bit....About the age of 15, she and i had been friends for a couple years, but i always had a lowkey crush...now its a passion. When she didnt know about my feels, she had dated my friend connor, to which she ended up being with for about 2 months. Yeah yeah, big deal i can deal with it. (Hardcore lied, i ended up carving my skin with hearts and shit...) So they break up, and she goes with my friend caleb, and he dates her for 3 months. (Growing my pile of suicide notes, i pussed out too much to die on my own terms...) They break up, and i decide ill tell her how i feel. Fuck it. What could go wrong...Shes dating adam. ANOTHER one of my friends. Yippee, kms. So, about a month into their relationship, i end up telling her how i feel, fuck it....im gonna die anyway so might as well. "Why didnt you say anything sooner anon?" 'I didnt want to disturb you....'
A month passes, no talking. "I choose adam..."
Write myself a note, block her on insta, and plan to hang myself within the week.
>>
>>738200001
Been in this situation before my friend.
You will get over it, Girls do this shit for attention.
Once you figure out the attention game you will be fine.
Fuck and forget
>>
>>738200001
shit man i know you probably hear this a lot, but there are plenty of fish in the sea, im sure she was gorgeous. but there are plenty more woman in the world, one day one will come along when youre not even trying, untill then dont try, just be, live.
>>
/b me....
18 graduated high school.
Beta.
Move out of small town to big city with sis.
Love making music but family doesn't support it
Told to get a real job and get out on my own
Sit in my room and watch YouTube all day and night.
Squander in the back of my mind how I've done nothing with my whole life so far but watch YouTube all day and shitpost.
Want something better.
Go back to watching YouTube and looking at 4chan...
>>
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anons, please don't kill yourself because of a woman. despite the fact that they're attention-hungry shameless and stupid, the guilt and remorse your friends and family will feel over your death will outmatch anything you could possibly imagine.
>>
>>738200351
>>738200189

I guess I just got excited thinking that someone might finally want to be with me and love me and spend time with me and laugh with me and cry with me and go on dates with me and just be there with me. I guess not. I feel so misunderstood. I want someone to know me and love me for who I am.
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>when i was 18 i wanted to go to local uni and live on campus
>still live at home because parent's wanted me to go to college here
>wouldn't fill out forms for me to go anywhere else (dad's insistence)
>I had moved out for a few months out of frustration, convinced me to move back home and they'd "pay for my college"
>they only partially do that
>fast forward to today
>they get drunk and argue every night
>many times it's violent and i have to step in
>when sober or drunk get told "when i was your age i had already moved out and had a full time job"
>my parents are thousands of dollars in debt because of this because my dad used student loans to pay for other things while taking classes
>was also supported financially by grandparents multiple times
>none of that matters, and he pretends like that isn't the truth
>makes min. payments so they can buy booze and weed instead
>have no money saved whatsoever for me or other siblings
>tell me how i'm wasting my time with my two jobs, and should cut back on college and get a full time job and move out
>neither make any interest to get to know me or siblings
>just make brazen assumptions, calling me a "millennial, libtard, useless, worthless, etc.
>dad tells me i'm essentially his free labor, doesnt care about me/what i think/feel
>try to talk about how i feel in the slightest
>get insulted and told to grow up and stop acting like a child

I don't know what I've done to be treated like this, and I gave up a REALLY great living situation to come back home because i thought things would get better, only to be treated like garbage.
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I killed my emotional attachment to anything in order to survive depression.
>ran laps every night talking out my problems to myself. General "fuck the world , I don't need anyone to survive this shit."
>10 years
I'm over the depression part. Generally in a great spot in life. In college , have 4K in the bank. Just moved to a new city.
Now I'm not lonely but I am alone as I have a serious demeanor now and it's hard tout on my fun face because this is all I know.
>I'm a great guy ,handsome, love the world , hopeless romantic , funny.
I just want someone so I can bring that out of myself and enjoy with them but that's not happening.
>II looked at my face drunk last night and I seen it. Seen what everyone sees. Even at my most fun I look serious as fuck.
People call me bossman, big dog, sir, and people on the street don't lock on to my eyes.
Fuck /b/ I'm alive inside but dead outside.
>>
I fucking hate myself. I am never good enough for myself or anyone. I'm useless to everyone around me. no matter how hard I try I always fail and fail and fail. I'm just sick of having to be me
>>
>>738200534
THIS!
My Best friend last year broke up with his Girlfriend, he pretended to be okay and tried to patch things up with her. After a heavy argument one night she told him to "kill himself".
I received a phone call later that night from his mother that he had hanged himself.
Me, his family and friends have never been the same ever since.
>>
>>738200580
kill him
make him suffer
>>
>>738200572
You will get this one day man, just try to be the best person you can be. Woman come and go.
Yes it hurts now but it will change. In a few weeks time you will laugh about it
>>
>>738198956
I try hanging myself, fail, and go back to school. Yay. She dates adam for about 5 months, now we 16. litt. i wanted to die all summer, then band season comes up (yes, OP is a marching fag), so i see her daily. I speak with caleb here and there, and find out she worries about me, i smile a bit...she cares. Now i move along with my life here and there. She breaks up with adam and now we begin talking again, her knowing how i feel. Great. Keep in mind, OP is fucking depressed as shit all this time, due to pappa issues. So, me and malerie begin to talk again more and more. Intimacy begins to grow.... "Anon im dating caleb.." This fucker got my hopes up for nothing and now im going to fuck him up....yay.

Months pass and they break up, and now i find out she likes my new found bestfriend camron, a saxophonist, like OP, and its all fucked. Now i dont talk to caleb and shit and its ugh.
She and i still talk here and there. Months pass, now 17, find out caleb and malerie are dating under wraps, and he ends up giving her a hickie, fuck my life. He tells me himself, and now i go out to try an fuck myself up at night. They break up AGAIN, and now shes over here, telling me she wants to date me. Im hurt, scared, bruised, and worried. I dont know what to do, becuase the family does now approve about me being a non mormon, and she is really into the religion. Now what can i do, turned 18 about a month ago, and now im stuck on about 3 years on this girl. fucking myself over and ruining my body.

Im a mess now, my snapchat stories are depressing, my insta is full of depressing shit, and now all i think about is her....im destroying myself but i wont give up on her...
>>
>>738200145
shes jumping around to guy to guy so much, shes not really stable i dont think she knows what she wants, i dont know what love means but thats definitely not it and i doubt malerie knows that.
im not going to say shes not pretty but like i told
>>738200001
there are plenty of woman, im sure there are more with a better personality then her, looks, etc. and killing yourself over it means you wont be able to realize that
>>
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>>738200912
Fuck Nigger I'd you're going to write a book at least fucking write it well.
Fucking summer fags.
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>>738194769
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>>738201121
thanks for that asshole, needed that after diving headfirst into my fucking feels.
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I feel like a failure. I haven't done anything that I'm truly proud of. My dad tells me he is proud of me, but I feel like he is just saying that to make me feel better. I have shit grades in school, no job, only have 1 friend, spend most of my time in my room because I'm a depressed piece of shit. I feel like I let everyone down. I was once a smart boy, but after I lost my mom, I just gave up, and I feel like I can't get my life together. I've accepted the idea of death and stuff. I just feel like noone gives a fuck about anything I do. I want people to be proud of me, I want to be proud of me, but I can't do it
>>
>>738201568
Same.
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>>738200145
Sounds like the kind of girl you don't want to be going after. I'm sorry this has happened to you, Anon. Very similar experience happened to me, but her name was Sydney. God damn, Sydney. She was the first girl I ever fell in love with, but I'm not here to tell any of my stories, haha. I'm here to tell you that everything is gonna be okay if you just keep your head high and push through the pain. You have to put yourself in front of her, prioritize yourself in your life. Find out what you can do to make yourself happy, and do it. No one can stop you or judge you for doing whatever you need to do to make yourself happy. Best of luck, Anon.

The names Justin, hope you get over here soon.
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Lighten the fucking mood here
>>
>>738198898
Dang
>>
>>738200912
Tell her you don't mind if she hangs around but that you're not sure you feel that way about her.
>>
>>738194769
Its been a year since you left me.
And nothing has really gotten better.
And I have fucking tried my damnedest to just move on and make life better for myself.
>Moved(i had to because we were living together and I didn't want to stay there after breaking up because that would be too depressing even if she left because that place was "our home" that we picked together
>dated other women
>bought a "new car"
>found a better job
>make more money then I ever had
And after all that the only thing that has changed is that I feel even more hollow and empty then ever.
Something just broke inside of me that day, and I think it was a lot more then just my heart(I can handle heartbreak no problem yea it sucks but it goes away with time).
I just feel different, not myself. and I've never felt like this before.
I'm cynical, full of sadness, full of hatred, doubt, and disbelief.
I don't want to feel like this anymore. I'm trying not to anymore I really am, but Im just so used to everything being shit.
>>
>>738200023
>>738200084
oh fuck...
>>
All these sad stories...
>Fap to porn ad with feels
>>
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>be me
>playing vidya and stuff
>gotta get dem achievements
>some friend of mine invites a friend of his to our lobby
>lol k
>turns out she's a girl
>turns out she's pretty damn good on LFD2
>interest.jpg
>add her on steam and play some more campaigns
>pretty much doing it to play with her
>just some weeks ago i asked my friend where;s she from
>she goes to the same university as me
>ohshit.avi
>turns out she is from the same class as me
>she is that girl who sits in the back of the class reading fanfic
>7/10, no tits whatsoever
>tfw im known in my classroom for doing really stupid things
>tfw im pretty sure i like her
>tfw too beta to ask her out
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Have to wonder just how many people out there have reached this point.
>>
Does anyone wanna post the Allie and dad-anon story or the Elisa story for dem feels?
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>>738203046
from my experience it hurts 10x more to never ask the girl out and just be friends for a while, then she slowly fades away.
If you ask her out and you get denied then it hurts and is awkward for a bit, but you'll at least know that she wasn't into you. If you don't ask her out, the "what if" will haunt you forever.
>>
>>738203200
My light is broken, and I'm close to not working. I want to give up, but I don't have the balls to kill myself
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIdIqbv7SPo
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>>738203200
Faggot did you even read my post. Fuck you.>>738200745
>>
>>738196503
First time I read this, I thought it implied footballbro's friends attacked pretty boy as a ruse so football could be the hero. It's only now that I realized that it was a different set of goons beating up pretty boy and footballbro's friends *helped* him rescue pretty boy.
>>
>>738194769
What makes me hurt?

Knowing that I signed myself up to basically live this song. Married a girl with a disease that will take her from my arms by the age 60 AT MOST, likely sooner. Wake up to give her the sweetest kiss every morning knowing that one day, she won't be there. It'll be a pillow with her imprint.

But, such is life.

https://youtu.be/0UMYPS1JqWk
>>
>>738203046
>listen too this man.
>>738203357
Get your balls up and ask her out.
Advice I can give is just be non chalant about it.
Don't throw yourself at her don't wanna seem what you kids call "thirsty".
>>
>>738196503
omocat is trash tho
>>
>>738203366
Pretty much the same. Only thing keeping me around is the fact that suicide would put me in a bunch of statistics used to push shit I detest.

>>738203422
Unbunch the panties buttercup.
>>
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>>738203357
Will do man, its just all those fucking stupid things i did giving me the cringe everytime i think about asking her out

>>738203751
Of course i didn't plan on going to her and just throw myself head-first onto a tupid thing, even if that is the answer to this, im too beta to pull that off
>>
You people think you know pain?

I married a pretty woman. Things were good. Then she went to college and got into parties. Turned into a narcissistic bitch and a druggy slut. After she cheated on me for the third time, I divorced her...

She kept the house I paid for, kept the car I bought, and she got full custody of my son and daughter.

She regularly drank while caring for my daughter, did drugs in front of my kids, but they refused to give me custody.

My ex brings home a fucking ex army faggot who rapes my daughter and beats my son for 5 FUCKING YEARS, ruining the lives of the only people I still love and feel anything for, and not only does he get only 18 months in jail, I still don't get custody, and I still can't see my daughter.

I'll never see her again. My son is 11 now so he has snapchat, he got caught sending me messages so he got his phone taken away.

Fuck everything about this gay earth. I'll probably never be able to talk to my son again.
>>
>>738203046
Do it faggot.

So.

You already have an in. If you don't know, that's HUGE.

After class SOON. Like, this week soon. Ask what she's got going on this weekend

Answer 1 "Oh nothing, I'm going to study for a bit and might see a friend but nothing solid."

You say "Wanna change that? :)" We could get some food and see this cool museum/park/whatever her geeky ass may enjoy.

She will likely say sure anon-kun. And then you exchange numbers.

Answer 2: "Yeah, I've got a lot going on! Chad is having a bash and all my friends are going. We are baking weed brownies and making jello shots. I'm getting trashed blah blah blah.

You say "sounds fucking rad. Hit me up if anything changes, I'd like to take you out if you are interested." Then you exchange numbers.

Real easy. You put the ball in her court and you leave it there. Don't hound her with stupid texts and emojis. Don't be needy. Be smooth.

I'm 28 now, was needy as fuck and scared away some of the best possible partners when I was young and fucking stupid.

And if she says no. Oh well. Delete her from steam and let her weeb ass read fanfics in the back of class and flunk out of college. Lol dumb hoe.
>>
>>738194769
The piano man.A song that perfectly fits feels threads
>>
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>>738196503
>no homo
>>
Anyone else still regret letting her get away?
>>
>>738204563
I still haven't found the girl
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>>738204165
You're the real MVP anon
I hope you find that one partner, if you haven't already
Im 19 right now, im not the emoji spammer guy, but i do have the habit of fucking things up with some cringy responses, gotta change that
>>
>>738200745
Soemtimes a bestfriend is better then a GF
>>
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>It's not about the weight loss
>it's not just about seeing *her* at the grocery store
>it's not just about moving back to Korea for good
>it's not just about being back in college stateside
>and it's not just about having 'friends and family' at least pretend they care if I'm still alive or not
>I just...want to be happy again.
>>
So...
Feels thread, alwayd thought on saying something on one of those, so here we go
I have lots of friends, and I do believe those are some real friendship, but still, deep inside me I always feel that feelig of emptyness... Is it normal? I try to think it is, but I think I never felt true happiness in my whole life...
>>
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>>738205074
Hey man >>738203046 this faggot replying
I feel ya, i got good friends, and just recently started to trust them to help me on this and teeling them my stuff
But a lot of time during school i was pretty much lurking here and not really talking with anyone
Y'know, the your tipycal kid who want nothing to do with girls and doesn't have friends to go out or into parties
Even know i don't go to parties
But, just try talking stuff with your friends, stupid shit first, serious later, and you put them on a test
That worked for me
>>
>be me
>have gf
>fell in love with other girl
>girl fell in love with me 2
>no courage to dump gf
>me wants to be with other girl
>don't know what to do
>such a pussy
>feel like the worst human being
>>
>>738205366
Thanks for the reply... Seriouslly
But you know, I am a lier, I lie to myself, my family and my friends include, and here is where I think is the only place I can say the truth
I mean... I cant talk openly with my friends, I just cant and I can with random anons? That's... Bizarre to say the least...
>>
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>>738205461
I feel ya
>Meet this girl
>Not really nice body but 8/10 face
>1 Year younger than me
>Start dating
>after 2 months dont really feel it anymore
>Break up with her, tell her some bullshit i don't have time for a relationship
>Backtovideogames.avi
>fast forward 3 months later
>she talks with me, tells me we should start dating again
>ohshityoustilllikeme?.jpg
>k dont have anything better to do
>literally 2 weeks later start liking other girl
>Break up with her again, tell her some bulsshit i dont have my feelings correctly
>realize what a human-shit i am
>don't even want to pursue the other girl
feels bad man
>>
>>738205835
Hey np, i always got help here, why not give it?
Now, about lies, i lie all the time, i dont think i have any trauma or something, just im a piece of shit, i lie to my friends or exagerate things to make myself look good
All
The
Fucking
Time

But what seems to help is sometimes telling the truth and seeing 1 nobody gives a shit, or 2 they actually give feedback
And that feels good, and helps
an example of my fuck ups its this >>738206056
Yup, thats me again
>>
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This song is about a UK police officer who was shot on duty, resulting in his permanent complete blindness. He was hailed as a hero for surviving, but the sheer change in lifestyle due to losing his sight made him commit suicide two years after the incident. The song itself sounds beautiful (the rest of their music is great; check them out: Everything Everything), but the lyrics get really sad and always gets me into a feels mood. Hope you like the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzuORiOUQ7U
>>
I have a GF and I love her, but I've lost so many things over the last few years I really hate myself right now. I hate everything I am, my horrible body, my awful self.
I spend the nights on Omegle, trying to get someone to show me something so I can show my dick back, as it is one of the only ways I can feel a little better about myself. It's not working and I'm feeling like shit again and again. It only stops when I'm with her, but once she's gone, I'm back to the self hatred. I have Omegle opened in other window, and came here only to look for a place to take this out of my heart. I only want to crash my face against something.
>>
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>>738204165
(Not that guy) Thank you Anon. That was some genuinely good advice. You put it so clearly my autistic ass could understand it. I will definitely try to make use of this in the future and I will thank you if it does!
>>
>>738206476
Oi man
You have a GF?
why dont you message her right now and you both watch a series?
She can watch it on her house and you on your place, takes some time, and then boom, you got something to talk with her about
Its better than being in omegle
>>
>>738206329
Yeah... It helps.
I need to find the less painful way to break up with my gf.

Because even if I don't go with the other girl, the fact that I want to be with her (the other) makes me realize that maybe I'm not in love with my gf.

Thanks.
>>
>>738206722
yeah, she's not really in town rn
>>
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>19 meet a girl that makes me feel
>immediately in relationship, never a minute apart
>fuck like rabbits, probably both nymphomaniacs
>two years together, she constantly tells me I'm the love of her life, can't live without me
>break for 6 months
>get back together, she's got new job and her own place
>move in with her, act like nothing happened
>new neighbours want to fuck her both forever alone virgins always there to tell her what an ass hole I am
>new job has dudes flirting with her, she loves it, loves telling me bout it
>doesn't feel the same, I still love her but the connection we had seems to be gone
>insomnia, paranoia, arguments
>when I could sleep, always wake covered in sweat
>often come home from work just to sit in a hot bath and think about slitting my wrists just for the peaceful nap
>she's still treating me sweat when we're not fighting, telling me she loves me but I feel like she's fucking around
>grandma dies
>arguments intensify
>start feeling emotions?
>never felt so sad, constantly depressed, feel vulnerable
>buy a bed for my place delusionally thinking if I buy an expensive as fuck mattress it will fix my insomnia
>she comes round, we fight she bitches about the bed?? tell her to leave if she is unhappy
>she's gone
>opiates, weed, alcohol for months
>realise I'm fucked, abandoned my friends for the relationship and now I'm alone
>kick drugs - worst month (months?) of my life, delusions and feeling suicidal
>get through it but still not sleeping (always had trouble sleeping but now I'm getting a few hours a week)
>sleep deprivation got me feeling like I'm tripping 24/7
>go to docs, he tells me I need antidepressants, tell him not a chance
>convinces me to take sleeping pills, go through several types before he finds ones that can knock me out
>finally sleeping properly and agree to see psychologist if won't take pills
>find out I've been dissociated most my life thanks to all the beatings witnessed and received from drunk dad
>>
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>>738206943
What i did >>738206056 this might be an example on what not to do
>>738207017
Be sure to keep in mind my advice, or play vidya, watch anime or something like that, keep yourself occupied
Learn to play guitar or drawing
>>
>>738194769
I hurt over the fact that I don't feel accepted by anyone. I know it might sound stupid to you, but I have never felt unconditional love, my parents left me when I was 6 and since then I have only known people who are interested into what can I do for them/how can they take advantage of me.

I am 22 now, have a job and earn ok enough to spend it on whores, food and booze. I have learned to enjoy my loneliness, but I still feel as if something is missing from time to time.
>>
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>>
>>738198898
im sorry
>>
I've lost the right to work and breed
Somebody fucking help
>>
>>738204814
Thanks bud.

I am 28, and twice married now.

Things are okay. I live a satisfying life, something I'm very grateful to have. I made all sorts of mistakes with girls. Was afraid I had a small dick all my highschool yeas and turned down multiple partners (turns out 5.5 in perfectly average, what a waste of my time) and as a result was beta Virgin until I got married the 1st time.haha

The awkwardness goes away overtime. Get it out of your system now.
If I could give one last piece of sage old man advice, it's this.

Money does buy happiness and learn how to code or program. It is your future. It is your job market. Go to Barnes and Noble, get a Starbucks coffee, bring your laptop out, and start doing some coding.

When you get that 6 figure job by age 25 and the 10/10s are begging to ride in your brand new Tesla, it'll be worth it.
Their farts smell like cotton candy you know.
>>
>>738207362
Reading something like this, and realizing that there's an actual, existing human on the other side of those words, is humbling.

I'm really sorry that this kind of thing happened to you, anon. Hang in there.
>>
>>738204563
Everyday of my life.

She was my Queen, and I Fucking slayed her.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qT6XCvDUUsU
>>
>>738207709
Care to elaborate? I wanna hear you out.
>>
>>738207885
After reading that I felt muscle spasms in my left arm and diaphragm
Fuck, I can't let it all out otherwise
Yeah no fuck this this isn't real
>>
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It's another Friday night and I'm drunk, alone and feeling a bit suicidal. Everyone in my life has moved on without me. They're all happy and successful. I haven't had a conversation with anyone in weeks. I think I just need a hug.
>>
>>738200746
I feel you
>>
>>738208097
Dude calm down. I just want to hear your story. It's alright.
>>
>>738206610
Good luck pal, you seem like a genuinely cool person. If she is gaming with you, at the very least she likes you to some degree, otherwise that door never would have opened.
>>
>>738208148
What's your deal bruv.
Why aren't you on and upwards with the others, I'm sure they want to see you succeed m8. Let's get this sorted out. Here on 4 chan. I'm alone in a hotel room in fucking Florida with nothing else to do
>>
>>738208148
I feel you, man... I'd hug the fuck out of you and have some beers while talking shit for the rest of the night. No homo, tho.
>>
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>>738194769
>be 15
>lifes pretty good
>sitting one night being guitar fag
>bout 11:40pm
>hear yelling downstairs
>figure its random argument between brother and father
>nope.jpg
>Go to investigate a lil
>brother meets me half way up stairway
>Moms not breathing
>ohshit
>dart downstairs to see dad over still mom's body
>CPR time
>paramedics took so fucking long but didn't matter anyway
>She was dead for a bit
>have taste of mom puke in mouth
>overhear paramedics telling dad shes gone
>go still
>her last words to me from an argument
>Fuck you anon
>depression from there on out
>>
>>738207766
Cool fella
Im actually in a programming class, taking the Html course rn
Already know most about C++ and a bit of Java
Also a bit of Andoird and Apps
But i wanted to study medicine, so im a little bit stuck in between (I like both careers)
So idk
Im already a Registered paramedic, but havent been in an ambulance in months
>>
>>738194769
I got music for this sonder thread mah faggots.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaF-mEkjKdc
>>
>>738208513
Damn
>>
>>738207362

>figures stress of relationship, grandma dying and age (early twenties) triggered the end of my dissociation
>thus begins the era of diagnosed PTSD, Depression, Insomnia, Anxiety ect..
>panic attacks where my body feels like it's shutting down while my mind is chill, feels weird.
>therapy and mediation helps
>start dropping acid all the time
>anxiety essentially cured, able to party again, not scared of crowds
>life feels like it's getting better
>waves of depression still, that's life for me now though apparently just need to get through
>huge doses of DMT
>don't know what the fuck life is anymore
>everythings an illusion
>oh but still miss my ex despite this
>been nearly two years now
>during this time slept with a few tinder sloots, meh sex.
>been beating my dick too much think I'm addicted to porn, harder to quit than oxycodin.
>only thing that gets me hard is thinking about fucking my ex
>don't want to speak to her because found out she cheated on me after we broke up (chlamydia)
>can't be fucked meeting anyone, relationships of any kind seem exhausting
>don't know what the fuck to do.
>>
>>738194769
I've seen and read this gif many times before. But for some reason, tonight is the time it really got to me. "as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk". god damn.
>>
>>738202103
"Everything is tinged by the undeniable absence of you"

This is worse than the initial heartbreak imo, nothing ever feels right
>>
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>>738208447
I feel intimidated by them. They've moved on, they're successful, and I know they don't give a shit about me. Nothing would be genuine.
>>
I just found out that the dog I've been close with since 3rd grade is getting put down this week, and I'm a 4 day drive away from her
This fucking sucks anons
>>
>>738207709
explain?
>>
>>738209019
Losing a pet is always harder than it should be. I'm sorry, anon. I had to deal with that a couple weeks ago.
>>
>>738208557
My friends in a similar position. He is an EMT and has to decide between Theatre Tech and Pre-Med. I don't think it matters for him or for you. Neither path seems like the wrong option, though it may feel that way sometimes.
>>
>>738208557
I mean, cheers to you for getting that much accomplished at 19.

Can you give me advice instead hahaha. I submitted to life and joined the military work on radars and radios.

100% wish I had my head on as you do.


Here is my thought. You are young and can adsorb a "fuck up" in terms of life direction so long as you don't enter crippling debt. Worst case scenario medicine doesnt work and by 23/24 you go back to coding and app development or what have you. This theoretical situation obviouslu goes vice a versa. I think as long as you enter the job market you want by 26-28 you are good.

May I ask which you enjoy more?
>>
>>738208975
How old are you? Are you working?

Not in a demeaning way, just trying to get a big picture of you :)
>>
>>738194769
Why am i so useless?
>>
>>738207819
Fuck that feels right.

She was my queen and treated me like a king and I'm pretty sure my constant tirade of shit turned her to cheating on me.

She was a fucking slut though, but they all are you just got to find the one that's worth it right..
>>
>>738209625
Why can't anyone understand the way I feel?
>>
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>>738209295
Dang, i dont think i've really done a lot, even if i did acomplish some things in my life i always fuck up in the most basic things, but it feels nice knowing someone thinks i can do better

I've been a lot more deep in coding, since i was 7 years i started with vidya and camtasia, making retarded videos for myself, i even did a scam of mario bros trying to do something like Cat Mario (Was a poor job but it was fun playing something i did)
Now as a paramedic i got 2 years but i think i like more medicine and carry on coding as a hobby in the meantime, until i finish medicine
>>
>>738207571
Why are they laugting at me?
>>
>>738209625
Because you aren't really trying.

Deep in there, you've got a sharp mind. You can figure things out. You just don't push hard enough or long enough to put that special edge you have to any good use.
>>
>>738197837
what the actual fuck was that...
>>
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>>738198898
F
>>
>>738209716
No i just feel useless like im not helping mankind on anything.I sometimes feel like i have the potential to change the world but i simply decided to do nothing
>>
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I have all these good things going great in my life, but it seems that I haven’t really rebuilt myself better. Before I start, I was in an abusive relationship with a girl that caused me my program at university and I got kicked out of it, and I lost all of my friends from highschool and made no new ones. I slept very little and ate very little and contemplated suicide almost every day. Since then I’ve started working out a lot more to get to a goal I wanted, I got into a new program and I made lots of new friends. My parents tell me they’re proud of my but they were ashamed and utterly disappointed upon learning about being kicked out of my program. The girl who I’m in a relationship now who I love, I don’t think I have a future with, nor do I feel the same way I felt when I was with my first girlfriend, even though that she is so much better than what my exgirlfriend ever was (or will be). I’ll be completing my exit thesis for my undergrad in about a couple of months for a BSc in geology but it feels like I accomplished nothing.

All it feels like is that I filled the void of my insecurities by overcoming them, but they don’t feel like an accomplishment. They all just feel so meaningless and empty. I’ve got it better than a lot of people by working hard to get to where I am, but it just feels like it’s nothing. It feels like all that I’ve accomplished I don’t have anything to be proud for.

TL;DR I went through some rough times and bettered myself and recovered and went beyond what I needed to do to better myself, but it just feels like it means nothing.
>>
>>738195120
How ya doing anon? Hanging in there?
>>
>>738209785
That helps
>>
>>738209667
Sorry to hear that my friend :/

Being cheated on is pure garbage. But, sadly most young and dumb people will do it once or more.

Just remember the good times, and be willing to accept that another girl will come along some day who will give you great times if you leave the memory of "her" behind.
>>
>>738209721
Oh snap! Is that Rin? Time to fire up some Katawa Shoujo bitches!
>>
>>738209721
I think that's something a lot of us feel.

Have you considered looking into the peace corps? They do some really wonderful things across the globe.
>>
>>738208975
I'm 25, and I work from home for a website company. I haven't got many hours lately so I'm probably gonna have to get another job somewhere else. I live alone.
>>
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>>738209996
>THOSE QUADS WERE CLOSE
I feel like you man, or sort of, i dont think in the scale you do, but like that
Im this faggot btw >>738208557
>>
>>738209721
Ooops. Wrong post. Sorry dude
>>
>>738210051
It helps if you want it to.

I'm going to remain cryptic with you for as long as you withhold what it is that you honestly need help with.

Wtf is wrong m8. Speak in the free.
>>
I always thought it was bullshit but watching a close family member refuse to be anything but a junkie has killed a little bit of me. Kinda just waiting for the phone call
>>
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>>738210267
No worries, it happens
>>
I kind of feel out of place in this threads cause everybody just talk about women.I just feel useless and empty. im kind of jealous actually i have forgoten the feeling of being in love with someone but no women have caught my interest.
>>
>>738204159
Please, please make your story go viral somehow. Talk to newspapers or go to social media.
People need to realize that men in particular are facing these injustices. Also please tell me from which country your are from.
>>
>>738210182
Have you considered getting a job for someone like American Express? I hear they have work from home customer support and it pays fairly well from what I gather.

Or maybe join the service, you'd have a great time seeing the world, making friends, making a good living. Yes.

Navy has your name alllll over it
>>
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>>738210443
Have a little chuckle :)
>>
>>738208214
I don't know if I can trust you man and the more I say the worse shit gets

>>738209091
I'm a worthless fucking dickriding cuck and I'll never amount to shit
>>
>>738210029
Not really anon, go up and read the malerie story, it hurts so bad....actually ended up just cutting my wrist about 30 mins ago. fuck me.
>>738199540
>>738200145
>>738200912
>>
>>738208557 this fag replying
Im going to sleep fellas
gotta help grandma tomorrow early in the morning
Remember to always help others, thats the best uppwards to felling good yourself
Night' everyone
>>
>>738210373
Idk i just feel like i have so much potential to do amazing things but theres like a mental barrier in my mind that doesn't allow me to do new things.I know that sounds silly.Im planing on doing new things but it feels like im limiting myself
>>
>>738210262

I just don't know how to fill the void anymore you know? Not sex, or drugs, cigarettes, video games, working out. The only thing that drives me is successful work, or grades in school. Like that's my only validation for existence right now, it's the only thing that makes me feel like i'm accomplishing something.

It may be that a lot of things come naturally to me, like social shit and working out too (I've got good genetics) but I'm terrible at school. I just don't even know anymore anon, I don't know.
>>
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I'm not satisfied with life /b/. I want a gf but I don't know how to get one. I took up lifting and got rid of my acne in the hopes of attracting girls, but it doesn't seem to matter and all the girls I like gravitate towards other guys for seemingly no reason. I don't know what I want to do with my life either. What should I do
>>
>>738210704
>anonymous image board
>nothing gets recorded
>we will never meet irl
>I genuinely want to help you out

Just because I'm a stranger doesn't make me untrustworthy. Look at all the shit everyone here has posted: seriously personal stuff, looking for help from others like them. If you don't wanna talk about it, that's cool. But I'm curious.
>>
>>738210639
Any more of this i like this.
>>
>>738210894
Some healthy caution is a good thing to have though.

Sure, 1/10 whack jobs that goes to pursue their dream makes it.

The other 9/10 are bankrupt, poor, back with the parents, in a 3rd world country jail, or leaching on to the govt.

If I may, my plan is to retire at 42 from a normal job, THEN go out and chase the wild dream if being a maple syrup farmer (seriously, it's what I want).

Maybe you could do the same? Life is long enough to have multiple impacts :)
>>
>>738210704
>>738211102
I should also mention that there isn't remotely anything for me to gain from you telling me anything.
>>
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>>738210834
Good night Rin! Thanks for all your input.
>>
>>738210913
Anon, as i said here >>738210834
Helping others is the best thing
Being a paramedic for me, and having an old lady tell me she will remember me as the kindest paramedic she ever had, just put a stupid smile of pride and happiness in my face for months
Help other, always :D
Now for real, im going to sleep
>>
>>738197837
Read this before a while back. I just remember it being really sad...
>>
>>738211191
Thx for the advise anon:)
>>
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>>738211319
Night!!
Thanks for appreciating it Emi :D
>>
>>738211170
Yes.

Actually just go to a webite called


mrlovenstein . Com

Tons of hilarious little net comics with a variety of characters with unique personality.

It's usually where I find my background for an office computer. Tends to get the shop into a little laugh every week to see what my "new comic" will be.haha
>>
>>738211469
Thx:)
>>
>>738210969
If you don't know what to do with your life, just find something you're happy doing and just do that thing. If you can, try to make money doing it.That would obviously be a plus, but life really is just about doing the things you love doing.

Might be bland, generic, maybe even unhelpful advice, but it's true.
>>
>>738211469
that's cool, lol
>>
>>738211102
My head's just wound in knots and everyone's controlling my mind and I'm completely unwilling to actually do what's right because as soon as I know how it becomes wrong

>>738211208
There is a lot people have to gain from siphoning personal information out of me

Fuck
>>
>>738207550
You should read If This Is a Man, by Primo Levi. It's depressing yet liberating. All relationships are mercantile by default. It doesn't mean you can't transcend that initial truth.
>>
>>738211550
You're welcome bb
I've got to go and get some rest. I'm exhausted after driving across country this week lel

Good night all my sweet princes.

If you ever doubt your self worth, dont. You are all pretty wonderful in one way or another. The world can be torturous and unkind. It will be unfair. It will be inhumane. But it will be life, and at least you can watch the sharks eat baby seals on the BBC or NatGeo. That's pretty neat.
>>
>>738211662
I thought so too :)
>>
>>738210969
How old are you anon? I live in a smaller college town. I have 1 friend who lives an hour away. I have 0 friends from my high school (graduated in 2010). Have a gf. Met through fb. Life is sad lmao sorry I was no help ahahaha
>>
>>738211690
Damn, dude... what exactly is wrong? Just start from the top, greentext it if it's easier. If you're not comfortable sharing that kind of stuff, that's totally cool. It's your life. But you've got a lot of people here willing to help you out.
>>
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"You will find that if you look for the light, you can often find it. But if you look for the dark, that is all you will ever see."
>>
>>738212324
I like that quote
>>
anyone got the adonis story?
>>
>>738196503

You had me until kids got involved KYS faggot
>>
>>738212186
17
>>
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After two years of being best friends, I did what I feared most and fell in love. Another year later it wouldn't let me sleep, so I told her, but that's not how she sees me. I'm willing to repress the feelings, because as a friend she's too important to me, and there was a weight removed once I got it out there, but God damn does it hurt. How am I supposed to find someone that compares? How am I supposed to talk to her and then even trick myself into thinking that a quick lay from someone else will be enough? I need her as a friend but want her as so much more...
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This is for all of you:)
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>>738213174
Well shit 17 feels like it wasn't that long ago but I'm 25 now. Still in high school? You should be able to meet/talk with others.

It gets harder as you get older. Especially if you don't really have anybody.

If you're concerned about no gf. One will come by. Don't be too upset about it. Relationships are a lot of work.
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>>738213400
I was just about to post that one. lol
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>>738194769
Drunk again. What else do I have to lose.

I hate being alive. Being alive means I'll be lonely, being lonely means I don't want to be alive.

I don't have a handgun so I keep a boxcutter on my desk. So that at any moment I could cut my throat and bleed out, and nobody would notice for at least three days.
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>>738213523
safh
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>>738213714
Eat shit.
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>>738210529
>>738210529
America, one of the blue states. Nobody cares. Bitches rail on about deadbeat dads and shit. I WANTED to take care of my kids. Besides, they'd crucify me because I didn't pay child support, but the thing is I didn't pay child support because my ex took my HOUSE AND CAR. I had to get a new home, new car, and pay $1600 a month to my ex for her to spend on drugs and alcohol? Get fucked. That's probably why I never won custody after even though there's documented proof of her abuse and of me trying to get my kids. Not gonna lie, losing everything I owned fucked me financially, plus I lost my job due to depression. But no, to society I'm just a lazy deadbeat who walked out on his kids.
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>>738200580
I can only give you the standard answer: get out, fuck this shit, nothing is more important than your mental health
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If I could die for the future prosperity and happiness of the human race, I would. But nobody wants garbage.
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>>738213685
Are you in a situation where you can meet people? If so, just do it. Be yourself somewhere where you could potentially make friends who have common interests. Meeting new people is hard, yeah. It's even harder to keep them in your life. But it's a given that you need to make the first step and actually try, or else nothing will happen at all. n this case, failure is better than not trying at all, because if you fail or embarrass yourself or something, it's not like those strangers are going to be around to make you feel bad about it. Just find some people with common interests and build upon that.

I don't really know if this helps, but I wanted to try anyway.
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>>738214204
What makes you say that you're garbage?
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>>738203624
50-60 is a pretty common age to die tbh
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>>738213549
Kek
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>>738214294
I find it very hard to meet people and keep them in my life. I have very few friends in my life because I don't open up to people all that much. I live in a small town where I feel I'm too old to meet anyone new, with any kind of significance.

>>738214376
Nobody can say I've made their lives better because I was a part of it.
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>>738214418
Ehhhhhhhhhhhhh

Not in America buddy. 75+ sure.

If you die in 50s or 60s, you eat too much fast food or love in the south (Georgia, Alabama, Lousiana, Mississipi)
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>>738211727
May I have a link to it?
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>>738200749
donut kill your selfs on account of giving up on the game life, also marble cake.baalzebub will try to trick you into it, but refrain. i am depressed too, but also learned 6 or 7 songs on the bass this evening..tough ones
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>>738194769
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my mother is a disaster of a human. growing up she seemed to keep everythign together. maybe she did. maybe it was all a lie. Lying has become her primary form of communication. She treats us like her little dolls, insisting we act a certain way so she can pretend she has a perfect family, but then manipulating us against one another to suit her will. She fucks it all up then says it was just a game.

most recently she tried to turn me against my father. I didn't meet the man until i was 4, and I was not a fan. He was in the military so he wasn't exactly around a lot even after that. He left us for a year when i was 9 and i was basically left to take care of both my older and little brother. my older brother was a delinquent and I had to do my best just to stop him from destroying everything.

my mother came to me when they were talking about divorce and told me he left on purpose, that she suspected her of cheating on him with his brother so had to get away. I can respect the decision to run off and find your self, but it doesn't mean I have to respect him. This was the final nail in what was already a pretty full coffin.

but with everything coming to light, that might be a lie. I tried talking to them both about it, but he denied it, they both stuck to their stories , and then did what they do best: pretend it didn't happen. one of them was lying, the other knew it, and they just keep on going as if it didn't matter.

cont
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>>738215476
even if he didn't have a choice in leaving us, it doesn't do much to change how I feel about him. Hes not the perfect villain by any means, but he was a bad dad, even when he was around. for some reason he picked on me the most, probably because i was the least masculine of his sons. If my older brother hated carrots he had no issues, but if i hated lasagna, he would keep up all night until I ate it, then when i finally tried, id vomit, and he'd smack me and tell me i was being 'dramatic' (as if i could force my self to throw up).

I could forgive this, I could forgive him leaving, I could forgive him smacking the shit out of me simply because I was a nervous laugher. he had some heavy crosses to bare and we all let it out negatively.

but what really makes me unable to forgive is that when I told him I was molested, he told me i needed to 'get over it' so that we could keep the family together. they insisted I continue to even share a bed with my molester, my brother.

My older brother molested me when i was 4 and he was 6. it was traumatic for the obvious reasons, but not something I held against him growing up. he was 6... not exactly the same person he is now. The unfortunate truth is it didn't end with the molestation. He is a big man, and he believes that being big means that he is in charge.

I remember one christmas I came back to visit, and my father had woken me up at 7am. like my brother, my father needed to just assert his dominance. I wa sfine waking up if there was a purpose, but i was grown man who lived on my own just visiting for the holidays, and my dad insisted 'if you're going to sleep under my roof, you gotta wake up when i want you to'.

i went to facebook and simply posted 'being an adult should mean being able to sleep in if you want to'. a bit passive agressive, sure, other than for the fact that I more or less said that to him first. i didnt see an issue with posting that.
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>>738215505
this apparently made my mother cry though. She needs to have the 'perfect holiday' every holiday. i remember when we were younger we'd argue over which actor appeared in which movie, and she'd throw a plate at the wall and say we ruined christmas.

this facebook status about wanting to sleep in upset her. the next day my family and I went out shooting. on the way back there wasnt enough room for all the guns in the trunk so i held one in my lap as my brother drove us back to the house.

thats when he began to threaten me. he asked why i posted it, i said i was expressing my feelings. He said 'well i express my feelings with my fist, so next time you express your self im going to express my self all over your face'.

i was there, an adult, with another adult threatening to assault me because i posted an innocuous facebook update about wanting to sleep in. i had a gun in my lap, and it was already pointed in his general direction. 'i have a gun' i said. 'do not threaten me ever again'.

since then we have never been alone together. This essentially highlights our relationship. Since the very beginning it has been that he is bigger, so he is in charge of me, whether it be sexually or physically. growing up did not change this mindset at all. if he had just molested me as a kid i could overlook it. but he continued to believe that he was in charge simply because he was big.

but he took me seriously in that moment, and as a result we are no longer close.
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>>738215516
now tonight is has come full circle back to mother. I was the last one to turn against her. She's tried to commit suicide (or pretended to at least) so many times in the last two years that its just become exhausting. and then she comes to me and says 'you are the only reason im alive. id die without you'.

tonight i called my little brother to inform him that I am going to be changing my number and leaving the family indefinitely. he was understanding, having still lived in my mothers town and seen her through years of abuse, cheating, and alcoholism.

we exchanged what we knew... he had no idea about me being molested and mom and dad just insisting i pretend nothing happened. likewise, I did not know that mother had come to both of them when i posted that facebook status about sleep and had asked them to get me to stop. I doubt she asked my brother to physically threaten me, but this is the kind of games she plays. Act like a victim if anyone steps just a little bit out of line, and turn everyone against each other.

she used to tell me I was her favorite. for the longest time I actually believed her. Now I wonder if she told my other brothers that too.
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>>738214560
You kind of need to open up at least a little at some point in order to make friends with people. There's small talk, yeah, but then there's actually getting to know people and wanting to have them in your life. Like I said, you need to make an effort, or else it's no one's fault but yours. It sucks that you live in a small town, but the internet is a thing. There's no stopping you from making online friends. It's definitely not the same, but it can be damn near close.

Not everyone needs to have a positive impact on other people to deem themselves not trash. Negatively effecting people makes you trash, but neutral isn't really that bad. After all, your life is about YOU and what makes YOU happy, right? What is life if you don't put your own happiness and needs first? It's possible to take it a bit far and be selfish, but it's also possible to be content with being content.
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http://imgur.com/gallery/lLCtX

Just gonna leave this here. Most heartbreaking 4chan story of all time
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>>738215544
I do try, and I have tried. When I used to play WoW, my old Guildmaster and I used to hate everything and everyone together. I found that comforting because we used to bitch together.
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>>738214065
Damn. I the opportunity that i see for you would be to start a fundraiser. You know there are movements like MGTOW that deal with exactly these issues. If I were you, I'd try to contact somebody or a Community.
I wish you all the luck in the world, my friend.
Your son will certainly reach out to you one day. Just as I reached out to my father.
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>>738215534
Solely from what you've shared here, it seems like you took the best course of action by alienating yourself from them. It sounds like all of them except your little brother are completely toxic and need to be out of your life.

Doing what you did really takes bravery, though. I can't imagine that it was easy; must have been really fucking hard. But from what I gather, it seems like the best thing you should have done.
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>>738216200
Haha yeah that can be a fun type of friendship to have, one where you just hate on shit together.

Do you have any similar ways to make friends? WoW is a way to do that, if you still play. I know in my experience, I got into card games and went to my local board game shop and made friends just playing Dominion and shit with people there.
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>>738216298

my little brother and I had our issues growing up, but as adults we managed to both look past that. he was big for forgiving me for the bullying i did. it was never physical or anything like that, but I was quick to anger with him a lot.

the rest is pretty toxic. i had hoped they would all change as we became adults but my older brother is still an agressive alpha and the marines have only cemented in his head more that if he punches you enough he'll get his way. just found out hes expecting his first child. scared for it and his wife.

thank you though. its definitely time to move on. people have been saying so for a year, but they all have such nice family lives and it just felt wrong ot leave mine behind. we certainly had our good times. but they are just too overshadowed by the bad.

last night i was posting about this in /adv/ and in the post mentioned that I was working on a movie and thats why i asked my family not to contact me til september, but my mother keeps calling and texting nad crying about it.

someone just said 'what would the main character in your movie do?'

i didn't realize how much of my life i was projecting into the script. its literally about a guy who learns to leave his family behind because of how toxic they are.

after that it just felt right. i had no more guilt about leaving. time to live my own life.

thank you for understanding.
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>>738216506
I stopped playing WoW a few months ago. I have no way to talk to anyone else in my small town.
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>>738216577
No problem, man. I wish you luck with everything. Make sure to keep us updated on the movie in these threads, too. You know I'll be seeing it. Lol
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>>738217024
Either way, I don't know all the details of your life and your situation. With my limited knowledge, I guess all I can say is to keep trying, man. I like to think of every single person as a potential friend: it's really all dependent on the first impression, in which you just introduce yourself and talk about things. That can't happen unless you go out and try. Just don't give up, because there's gotta be some way to get what you're after. There's a way for everything.

Sorry if I wasn't much help. I hope I was. Anyway, I'm gonna head off now. Good luck, anon. I really am rooting for you.
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I'm going blind

>I was diagnosed with RP (Retinitis Pigmentosa) at age 18, 5 years ago
>Devastated a lot of the people around me at the time
>Fast forward to this year
>Realize my eyesight is -really- getting worse
>Meet current gf, light of my life and best thing that's ever happened to me
>Think she's the one
>Happiest I've ever been
>Deep inside I'm absolutely miserable because I know some of the best moments of our life together won't be as good as they ought to be because of my increasingly impaired vision
>Will have to retire from my dream job eventually, so even after college I'll only be able to work for so long
>Some hope for a cure, but anything affordable that isn't a trial is way off

What do I do, /b/? I haven't figured out a real way to cope with my vision loss other than just fighting it with optimism
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I guess I'm just not cut out to be happy, to find that special someone...Every person I've tried to strike up a conversation (At work) either ignores me or just walks over to his/her friends. I live in a one room flat in which I can barely move around since if I stand up straight I hit the cealing (yay 199cm), family abandoned me when I hit 18, the closet people to friends that I have are people I have never met, aka steam friends. I work out daily, try to eat right, cook my own meals and shite.
A closer 'steam' friend offered me a job in Norway, but I'm paranoid about what if he's lying and I'll have moved to a compleatly diffrent country and have no money shit. This line from Heat (1995) is starting to seem more and more like a thing I should just work with
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>>>>738194769
carelessly numb 95 rpecent of the time. Thinking about how I've managed to create a path of bullshit that led to everything falling apart in my life and I resorted to taking a lot of drugs. That led to a list of mind blowing experiences I'll never forget and also threw my life upside down. Moved out and accomplished exactly what I wanted to be satisfied so good luck you paraplegic that hate love imitate and discriminate. I hope you all find what you're looking for. Realistically though most will be working at pizza shops their entire life. Dirty herpe Slav, gayt, mr clean, deep pain brazel all of you have been providing me entertainment and insight so continue on.
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>>738217745
Damn dude... I don't know how to help you with that. Vision loss is one of my worst fears, so you're a much stronger man than me for approaching this thing with optimism. It's really good that you've found someone to be with, though. That will make things 100x easier.
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>>738218194
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>>738218253
She's the most supportive woman I've ever known. The fact that she's stood by me through even half of this is a testament to how wonderful she is. I just don't want to let this get the better of me and slip into depression or some shit once my eyes finally go.
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The New Zealand mental health system is a joke. A month or so ago I broke down in bed badly, decided to go to the hospital, broke down to the nurse and bluntly said I'm miserable, I don't want to live. She books an appointment with my local medical place and after half an hour of bullshit he says "you may have depression, let's keep in touch, I'll book an appointment for two months from now, to see if the antidepressants are working" stopped taking them after 3 weeks bc it was giving me narcoleptic symptoms. I don't know how to organise counselling, but that's not even relevant because I'm too poor to afford it. It's such a fucking joke. I'm worse than when I went to hospital and nobody cares. people say they care, yet nobody messages me, ever. my entire family consists of PhD researchers, doctors and so on, yet I'm struggling at my first year of uni and everyone is out to celebrate start of second semester. I'm in bed at 8 because nobody responded to my messages, nor was I invited to anything, from the people who have the audacity to say that we're good friends, when they ask what's wrong and I open up. I'm so fucking lonely and miserable. I even tried to get help and they don't care.
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I'm 21, have a great group of friends , go to college, part time job, but I feel empty as fuck. I convince myself I need a girlfriend (because I never had one and had sex only once ) but I just don't know, I feel lost , I don't know what my future holds , I just want to feel everything is going to be fine for me , I'm just at a loss of words
>inb4 emo fag
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Why am I still here? Just to suffer?
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I feel like I'm worthless. Like other people seem so normal, they can do things they choose to, and I struggle to just survive as a person, going nowhere. I feel desperately isolated from people, and that pushes me into addiction. But being around people is hard, so I usually take things to get along better, booze, weed (my real problem) or kratom.

I manage to have sex and get along alright as a womanizer, but that brings little comfort. I have one very small comfort zone and anything outside it is terror. I feel like Travis Bickle, Taxi Driver. Purposeless.
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>>738220020
I am worthless.
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>>738220020
Life feels so incomrehensibly big compared to just one life. I try to do so much, to experience as much as possible, but knowing there's so many more things out there, so many jobs to do, things to believe, things to make, things to see and experience, and at my best I'll experience 0.000000001% of it at all. Like it's so hard to sit down and read one whole book straight through, but there's libraries filled with thousands of books, I can only take in so little of it.

Every time see someone, I wish I could just absorb their life story immediately. But I'm so socially inept, I rarely make any connection with anyone.
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I've struggled with self confidence issues since 8th grade. I casually bring it up when I talk to friends about relationships hoping for a "you're not bad looking" but I'm instead met with " looks don't matter it's all about confidence." I've told my therapist that I struggle with this and he tells me the same thing. I want someone to tell me truthfully if I'm ugly or not so that I can make relationship decisions based on this.
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Too depressed to live. Too fearful of the void that might await
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>>738201568
I feel you there, man. All of the circumstances are exactly the same, aside from your mom. My condolences for your loss.

If there's anything that I've learned overtime, it's that the right people will always bring out the best in you. If you have any opportunities at all to meet people, grab them by the fucking balls. The opportunities, of course. You'll make quick enemies by doing that to people.

I remember when I found that person. Hurt like fuck to watch them leave.
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I am socially inept and have learned that I had Asperger's with ADHD at the age of 23.
I grew up with a narcissistic dad who destroyed my self confidence and since then I just feel like a piece of shit all the time. My narc dad is also going to die soon, I know all the things he did to me but that really bothers me anyway.
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>>738204159
I don't usually tolerate it, but you need to murder that dumpy slut, there's lots of ways to go about it. Look into it, seriously
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I broke up with my girlfriend. We realized we were growing apart and that we're too different.

Feels bad man. We were attached to the hip, now it feels like I'm hollowed out inside.
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>>738204159
What's her number? She sounds hot
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Ive been dating / in love with someone for the past decade... however last year i´ve met someone who rapidily became a best friend due to our same tastes in almost everything....i cant stop thinking about her, i think ive fallen in love with her.
I have a gf , she has a bf and im going to live alone with her for half year next year, on another country (studies). Ill prolly end up drunk some night and blow it all

I was always somebody who never really loved, not until i found her... idk what to do since its been 10years and my gf still loves me alot.
Feels are fucked up
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Maybe one of you will be able to beat some kind of sense into me. I'm not sure what else to do about this anymore, so have a story about how I fucked myself over for the rest of my life.

>Be me, 14
>Think I'm ready to date for whatever fucking reason
>First girlfriend happens to be recent ex of best friend
>That's something you don't do I guess
>Everyone thinks it's for the sex, since she was pretty well known for fucking my friend constantly
>Me, being the pure little child I was, swore that it was for the feelings, although it was mainly for the sex
>Eventually, it really does end up being for the feelings
>fuck.jpg
>Get balls deep into the relationship, barely have sex, don't fucking care
>Love this girl so god damn much

Fast forward about a year or so.
>Be me, now the ripe old age of 15
>Things haven't been going too well between her and I, constant fighting and whatnot
>"Hey Anon, can we talk...?"

cont.
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ex girlfriend just told me she went over to fuck some dude while she was visiting Indiana, honestly shouldn't care because I broke up with her and I'm already dating some other girl but still bothers me nonetheless.

She also told me my best friend (who hasn't talked to me in a week) has been texting her and flirting with her, she told me he's been saying I'm a piece of shit and how he doesn't care what happens to me and he doesn't want anything to do with me.

Me and new girlfriend are still fresh and aren't that close don't talk constantly so I really don't have anyone at the moment, no friends or anything.
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>>738222857

Why don't you confront your friend?
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>>738222454

>"I don't think we should see each other anymore... I'm sorry, but this really isn't what I thought it'd be. I've been thinking it over for a while now, and I think this is for the best."
>whatthefuck.png
>Feel like everything is in shambles
>We break up, start to notice feelings I haven't felt before
>Constantly sleepless over hollow feelings in chest, can't figure out why the fuck I'm in constant pain
>Talk to my mom about it, she tells me about how she has the same thing
>"That sounds like depression. Are you alright, Anon? Did something happen?"

>"""""depression"""""
>what the fuck is this and what does it mean
>Decide to research it a bit, since that's really all I could do
>Learn how it can be brought about, symptoms, etc.
>Came to the conclusion that, at that fucking young, I was a lovestruck idiot
>*Well, if I'm just lonely, why don't I go look for people to keep me company?*
>Start whoring my feelings out to anyone who will listen, go through girl after girl with no end in sight
>Develop habit of cheating, never really had a clean breakup with someone
>Eventually talk to my friend while dating some girl states away about a fight her and I had
>*I just don't know what her problem is, man. How could she be like this?*
>"Maybe it's not her."
>excuseme.gif
>"Maybe you're being irrational. You need to take a step back and look at yourself for a second, Anon."
>Does just that, realizes I'm being an absolute twat in every regard
>Decide to break up with her, since the relationship was going nowhere fast, mostly because of me

cont.
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>>738223038
And say what? I just don't feel like it's worth the trouble, it's not my place to tell him weather or not he should be talking to my ex, that's his decision and he obviously doesn't care what I believe. As far as I'm concerned he's dead to me.

Me and ex are trying to keep the friend thing going, but I'm not sure how long that will last, I told her if anything ever happened between him and her that she'd be dead to me and she said it's most likely never going to happen but she "can't make in promises" in case something does.

Shit literally has my blood boiling, I'm pretty laid back, but I'm beyond pissed. Thinking I should just cut ties with both of them, but we all go to the same community college so I know things won't be that easy.
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>>738223054

>Be me, like, last year
>Girl I've been talking to on and off admits to having hella feelings for me
>We'd talked before, but I was a dumbass and led her on, yet somehow she still wants me
>Think about it, decide to give it a shot, no bullshit
>February 15th, 2016, also known as the best fucking day of my life
>I realize that she's fucking awesome, didn't change at all when we got together like most other people
>Actually enjoyed talking to her, have a shit ton in common
>We're happy as fuck

>Be a month later, midnight
>"Hey Anon, what would you do if we came and got you for the weekend?"
>*That'd be really sweet! But, you live kind of far away, don't you?*
>"Well, yeah, it's mostly hypothetical."
>"Wait nvm we're coming to get you I guess"
>I proceed to hype the fuck up, this is the first time I'll have seen them irl
>I wait for what feels like ages, which is only about four hours
>They pull up, sure enough
>Fucking plunging attack hug my girlfriend
>Start back to her place, proceed to eat each others' faces for the entire ride
>Have great sex the entire weekend
>Holy shit life is fucking great

cont.
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>>738200580
join the military noob
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>>738223054
continue anon
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>>738223573
continue anon*
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>>738223573

>It is now mid-May, and things are still going great
>Minding my own business, grinding my way through Dark Souls III
>Fighting Stray Demon for the fourteenth time or so, when I hear a message notification
>It's her, so I try to check it while fighting
>"Anon, you should come live with me!"
>Willingly dies to Stray Demon
>"It'll be fun! My roommate says she won't mind, as long as you help around the house and whatnot."
>*DUDE FUCK YES*
>Tell my mates, they're all sad to hear of my eventual leave but happy as fuck that I'm living with my girl
>Pack my shit, move within a few weeks

>Now it's early August, the lady and I have since moved to her parents' since her roommate turned out to be a fucking scumbag
>Parents can't support the both of us, even though she had her own income, make me leave
>Call up my mom, ask her to come get me
>Surprisingly she says yes, even offers to take my girl and I out on a date the day she gets here
>That day comes, they meet, immediately love each other
>We go out to eat, drive her home, and her and I say our goodbyes
>Her dad comes up
>"Come back soon, okay? You may not be able to live here, but you're always welcome back in my house. I like you, kid. You treat my daughter with the respect she deserves."
>i'm appreciated what
>Say I'll definitely be back soon, make my way back to my own home
>Move in with my dad, everything's wonderful

cont.
>>
>>738224062

>It's October now, things have been going well
>Starts to notice a steady decline in her activity
>Asks about it, says she's sleeping a lot more because of seasonal depression
>oh.png
>I love the fuck out of her, so I'm not gonna complain, as long as she's mine

>Months go by, about December now and my friends decide to talk to me about the whole thing
>"Dude, I don't think she's sleeping. No one sleeps for that long, I don't care how depressed you are."
>*I don't know, depression does some shit to you.*
>"Look, man, I'm not telling you what to do, but you should really weigh your options here. You've been crying over her a lot, and you don't cry. We're worried about you, y'know?"
>*Of course man, and I appreciate it.*
>"Just think things over, alright?"
>*Alright.*

>Still December, girl I met a month or two ago starts talking to me a lot more
>We get along very well, but I didn't think anything of it for a while
>Suddenly, I get the idea that I could potentially get something out of this ordeal
>*No, I can't fucking cheat on her! I've been clean from that shit for almost a year now, I'm not going to go back. Not this time.*
>sike.bmp
>End up dating her behind my girlfriend's back
>I think about it all the fucking time, but eventually let it fade out of thought

cont.
>>
I just want to get this off my chest. My wife is amazing and my kids really are the best. I'm sorry I am an addict. I'm sorry I cannot keep this up much longer. You are the best things in my terrible life. You deserve better. I have made sure to get plenty of life insurance. When this is over set around the table and talk about Disneyland. We really did have a great time before the accident. If only I was stronger. I love you.
>>
>>738224449
continue anon
>>
>>738224449

>It's now February of this year, I've only talked to my longer girlfriend a handful of times since October
>She messages me on the 15th
>"Hey Anon, Happy One-Year! I just want you to know how much I appreciate you, and that I love you very much! :) Maybe we can Skype sometime today? I know you've missed me a lot, and I'm sorry that I haven't been very talkative."
>holy sweet jesus' tit milk yes please
>Call her, we talk for the better part of six hours or so, she eventually has to go to help her mom with stuff
>"I've gotta go, but maybe we can Skype again sometime! I love you, Anon!"
>"""I love you, Anon!"""

>That resonated, and I stopped to think about what the fuck I was doing
>"Anon?"
>*Fuck, I'm sorry. I've been... off lately. I love you too, sweetheart.*
>"Aw, I'm sorry... I hope you feel better soon!"
>*Mhmm...*
>>
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>>738224449
>No, I can't fucking cheat on her!
>End up dating her behind my girlfriend's back
>>
>>738224712
>>738224712
Have multiple females that want you, treat them like shit. Why did I even wait for your story, this is a feels thread. Gtfo faggot
>>
>>738212874
Yeah fuck orphans
>>
>>738224712

And, well, that's basically where it all ends. She finds out I'm cheating, leaves me, blocks all contact with me. I broke up with the other girl, since all I saw in her were my mistakes.

I don't know why I chose this thread to tell this story in. I've come to many a feels thread since it happened, and haven't said a word. I guess, after talking to so many people about it, I really have nowhere else to do. I still have so much on my mind, yet I don't even know where to begin.

She taught me a lot, though. She taught me to take compliments better than I have in a long time, because I can't give them out and not expect any back. She taught me that it's okay to feel, and that repressing emotions isn't healthy. She taught me that hollow feeling in my chest wasn't normal, and vowed that she'd fix it no matter what. You bet your sweet asses she fixed it.

I'm left here to rot in my own emotions, wondering why the fuck I had to do what I did. I've tried to message her about it, explaining why I did it (although there's no excuse for that shit regardless), but of course, she didn't believe a word of it. I don't blame her, either. I lied to her god damn face, telling her I loved her while I was sleeping with another woman.

I don't think I'm ever going to get over her, and I only have myself to blame for her leaving.
>>
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>>738200533
Forget about being a beta or alpha, you are essentially you and nobody can change that.
You just need to focus, anon. No matter what you do, if your passion is making music so be it.
As a personal advice, i would recommend you to find a part time job, because work will make you humble and grateful with yourself.
And one more thing, if you spend your days and nights on youtube, maybe you should start a channel uploading your own music.
Good luck my man.
>>
>>738217745
You better invest some time in discovering some good music while you still can
>>
>>738224934
>>738224721

I'm not the brightest bulb in the box, as you may have guessed. Extremely impulsive at best. Like I said, I've no idea why I came here for that. Just felt like the right place to vent my faggotry, and the borderline worthless feelings that come with it.
>>
>>738225070
oh shit.jpeg
at least you knew what it was like for someone to feel that way about you man
i'm sure there'll be others, it just wasn't meant to be.
How did she find out you were cheating anon?
>>
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>>738224712
how do you barely talk to a girl and still consider each other to be in a relationship

this girl is a buffoon
>>
>>738225393

乁(ツ)ㄏ
>>
>>738225368

Pictures from a dance the other girl and I went to. Her mom took some pics of her and I, myself wearing a suit that they'd bought me. Didn't know they were posted on social media.
>>
>>738198898
What killed her? Aside from bad luck I mean.
>>
>diagnosed with arthritis at 4
>effects my wrists, ankles, knees, fingers, hips, jaw and through out my spine
>4 surgeries so far on my jaw
>last surgery was to replace my jaw joints temporarily
>by 18 ill actually need them replaced
>memory loss from going under so many times
>add/adhd, monophobic with bad anxiety and panic attacks
>very very lonely usually
>gf cheated on me twice already
>stole my money
>family is falling apart because of my disease
>always think about death clinically diagnosed with depression
>didn't even know until a few months ago my mom told me
>this family wouldn't be broke and fighting if i was gone

>new friend i just met has a torn lung and very sick
>she's absolutely gorgeous
>might die from it though
>>
>Lost the person of my dreams a month ago
>Was about to propose
>life in shambles
I am depressed as hell, but i think I am going to better myself now. They may never come back, but I recently came to the realization I'd rather be single than without them. Hopefully some day.
>>
>>738200004
All words are made up
>>
>>738198898
sue those niggas
>>
>>738207362
>>realise I'm fucked, abandoned my friends for the relationship and now I'm alone

You deserve it and I have no sympathy for you.
>>
My ex girlfriend sent me this before she passed away, never have I found a more melancholic song.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vj8GaTUumEo
>>
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>>738226218
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you

https://youtu.be/DVg2EJvvlF8
>>
>>738196940
>someone talking about literally any emotion other than being happy
> durr edgy emo faggot
>>
>>738217745
Holy shit man.... I'm genuienly sorry for you. Vision loss is the thing that terrifies me the most and probably over the onl thing I would kill myself.
>>
>>738225919
It has taken a month to accept what has happened. I really wish I was nicer to them this month, ya they fucked up but they didn't do it out of spite. What fuck what was wrong with me. It hurts, but they didn't deserve all that shit. I think I spend far too long pitying myself instead of realizing why it happened, and realizing I need to fix parts of me to show I am who I was back when we met.
>>
>be me
>dad walked out on us cause he's a nigger
>my mom is white so she took good care of us
>look for father figures in older males
>older males take me in cause idk
>older males get close to me n treat me good
>older males didn't treat me good cause they liked me
>older males rape me and use me
>kids my own age wont hangout with me cause all of my life i hung out with older males so we cant relate
>Spend all of my time alone w no friends
>join a gym
>gym buddy starts working out with me
>after 2 weeks gym buddy then tells me that he wants to have sex with me
>go back to being a lonely fuck

I have more but yeah thanks to 4chan i can actually talk to people and I've made a couple of friends here
>>
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Why haven't you killed yourself?
I'm genuienly curious, whats that thing keeping you from just ending it all?

For me its my family. Or more specifically, my mother.
She already lost 2 daughters, the oldest one giving birth to her granddaughter (who was a stillborn baby), so I dont want to hurt her anymore.
Even if I'm a complete piece of shit who has failed in every aspect in life, she has never turned her back on me, always cheering me up to stand up and keep trying.

I know it sounds stupid... But everytime I fail at something and she tells me not to worry, I feel worse for not being able to live up to her expectations, even if she has never told me that I'm a disappointment, I know deep inside me that I truly am a piece of shit who does not deserve her.

Thats why I dont want to hurt her any further. So I'm waiting for her to pass away (shes not old by any means) which may sound horrible, but I lack the words to explain it in any other way.
My mother is the only thing keeping me on this world.

I wish I could be the son she deserved, she deserves so much more... SO MUCH better than me.
>>
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>>738194769
being second-rate
>>
>>738200004
Ever heard of Shakespeare?
>>
>>738227356
I feel you anon. The handful of times I've been ready to eat a bullet, the thought of what it would do to my mom stops me.
>>
>>738227159
post feet
>>
>>738194769
Maci Renee Duran is a child molester, she needs to be punished for having sex with her 5 An 3 year old girls, that is her Facebook name, I'm calling on u anon to make this sick child molesting bitch pay for her crimes, make her kill herself if possible and free her children from the abuse of this subhuman bitch who has her bases covered legally
>>
https://youtu.be/p4cJv6s_Yjw
>>
The light died out when I was still in highschool. I still function. I still work. I still continue on every day. I had hope in my 20s. I fell in love twice. Both times they found someone better. Both times it broke down a part of me.

The first was worse in its aftermath, the second was worse in the length of time invested and the recovery.

I eat. I sleep. I work. Sometimes I don't sleep. Sometimes I don't eat.

When I work, I feel human, because I can fill a role. I hate my job utterly, but when I do the job it feels like a duty, and obligation. A promise to give 100%.

When I am not working I am lost. I read books. I read /b/. I read whatever I can, delaying the inevitable sleep. My dreams haunt me.

At 32 I have reached a point of constant numbness with the idea that life contains more than work.

Arbeit Macht Frei has become somewhat of a crutch. I am needed at my job. I do not have friends at it however.

Haven't had a friend in years.

Likely won't have any close friends to come. Moved too much, studied too much. Lived too little.

I dread the deaths that will be coming in my family. My grandparents are in their 90s. They are doing well. I still dread it.

My father has nearly killed himself, and I wish he would go to end his suffering.

I have a brother I have never been able to find or meet. I hope he is alive.

Like a machine that does a task, one day I will fail. I will have no one to help repair me, or assist me when I age. I must function or I must die.

I can see the end of the road, and it is a lonely path to oblivion.
>>
My song, r8 pls

You know what's wrong
It's me sitting here
listening to that same old song , or just waiting hoping nothing goes wrong , that's enough I can't take it no more , walls are closing in and it's too late to get to the door, medicine store , life is a whore.. nah she's a lady. . She's a woman , she's a beast, my issues aren't issues, it's just some dirty alleys in my head , And it's a feast , feeding my demons , it's I against I but I can barely stay on my feet, fuck it !, I don't give a fuck , what the fuck is it with me and my damn luck , I feel like I'm just stuck , under a boat drowning slowly, Getting so heavy like I'm tied to a truck..shit sucks, Feeling like I'm shocking and people think that I'm joking when I say I wanna die .., oh well I try, to stay high above all the ugly shit inside but I won't lie. . , I am a mess ,but one that comes in a beautiful packaging, Blackening languishing away into nothing, I knock at the door but no one opens ,so busy lavishing in the normie heaven ,fucking peasants, I bring you presents , cursed life in 3d on a dvd! , watch what could be, be a spectator to your own sanity fading crumbling tumbling mumbling help me! But no one can hear you, all they can hear is "viewers discretion be advised", run and hide !, you're despised, don't disguise the pretty Little shit show Under your intelligence, Cuz no one wants to know how good you really are,
>>
>>738228268
Con

you could be pretty, but that's just a mirror for self-hatred and petty , you ain't no Dante rossetti, but they don't care, judge and stare , They brush their hair from every little daymare , Do I dare!..? Bring up your little worries and expose the rose to the cold dark night and stick it in molten steel, Delicious meal!, This ain't real!, What's in his head? , Molten lead?, Everything braking down, system meltdown, a crow in clown town , you don't have the right to frown ,because everyone else is living fine ,
You can't shine !
In a hallow sphere full of stars when you're just a black hole ,silly troll, but wait that's not all , if you order now you get the bonus of wanting to kill yourself every time a leaf hits the floor , try to crawl, to the safe zone , nothingness, cold numb stone, Empty drone , copy and paste the code , mimicking clone, but I can't . , see I'd rather see the world in x y and z , I don't see the sea as what it can be , constantly feeling the need to turn milk to brie, Or forcing a 1 to become a three , or expecting a mountain to dissolve into scree

Well it's like this
A lion is a lion
A diamond is a diamond
And you can't tell a daisy to be a dandelion
A lion is a lion
A diamond is a diamond
And you can't tell a daisy to be a dandelion
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