how fucked am i >every day for the past 2 years ive been masturbating

Absolutely 200% real fuckin' fucked. Leave the country dude, that shit will get you decades in prison and you'll be a sex offender for a long time after release and it will be on your criminal record forever.

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>>738097255

Its cool op, just go back and explain it to her, she's your mother, she will forgive

>>738097255
Dubs says own that shit but pretend its a one time thing. Id be mortified too.

>>738097925
>>738098103
Na im 24 yo there is no way i can own this one
thinking ill camp out in my car
and just book it i have enough saved to get me through a few months at least if i skimp it tight

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Keep drinking your milk, OP.

>>738098280
Only gonna make it worse. Mom will tell whole fam because everyone will ask "wheres anon"

You deserve it you fucking retard

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>>738098280

tell her you were fucked up on shrooms at the time

>>738098354
I dno where to start explaining wtf i was doing

>>738098518

what were you doing

>>738098652
Good question.
>>738098518
answer that one anon....truthfully

>>738098652
He was jacking off into his family's milk.

>>738097255
tell her you have a gf with a fetish for milk with ur cum say you were gonna remove the milk from the fridge and what not, easy as fuck

>>738098815
No shit idiot. We know what he described. We want to know WHAT he was doing or accomplishing by doing it.Try to keep up

Die

>>738099017
I think it's just his fetish.

>>738098699
i think the post explains it
I was getting off into the milk and got caught
when i started i thought it was funny then it turned into a fetish knowing that people where drinking my cum maybe mixing a little chocolate with it and enjoying it

Talk to her soon dude, you dont want to go to prison for this.

I'll take shit that never happened for $200.

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Here's how you do it. Say that you got a rash or cut or something and you tried some new ointment or something and it started burning so you rubbed milk on it

Or, tell her that you would be blacked mailed for something you didn't do by a gay dude if you didn't give him your load milk. Also, what the fuck is wrong with you. You know you deserve this and you know that we know this is a artistic work of fiction right ?

>>738099140
THATS IT. You developed a fetish. Thats what i was getting at. You could always say you never intended for anyone to drink it.

why in the FUCK were you jerking off and cumming into the family milk jug?
whats the excuse lol

>>738099191
Prison? lmao Dont believe this asshole OP

>>738098990
she knows i dont have a gf
but i like the idea another annon posted just claim i was fucked up
>>738099191
i dont think i can go to prison for this can i?

>>738099327
He just said it was a fetish

>>738099017
He was jacking off into his familys milk, anon.

>>738099287
Yea this infact is the best approach i think
thanks for the advice guys ill be heading back in the morning
im never going to live this one down

>>738098513
This. She doesn't know you've been doing that for 2 years so just say you were high or something

>>738099497
Again, try to keep up. He said it developed into a fetish. We know what he described. We were figuring out WHAT he was doing or trying to accomplish in order to come up with an excuse.

>>738099619
Were you cumming when she caught you or just hard/jerking?

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>>738099262
smart thinking

>>738099779
I was getting ready to cum but it was obvious the way i was positioned and had the Carton of milk what i intended to do

>>738099742
Maybe he gets off on seeing his family drink his jizz

>>738100000
Where the fuck have you been? We ALREADY established that. Checked...quints

>>738100000
Quints speaks trooth

>>738099346
>thinking tricking people into drinking your cum isn't illegal

Yeah buddy ur a genius
Just ask the college kids who put sperm in brownies and got charged with rape and sexual assault

>>738100236
Have to prove intent AND he would have had to have cum.
>>738100205
except that quints tonight is a dumbass who cant read the whole thread

>>738100236
but there is no evidence i desired them to drink it
Only that i intended to cum into a bottle of milk

Uhhh yes you definitely can, and people DO goto prison for this type of shit.

>>738097255
degenerate how fucked do u need to be to do this wtf man

>>738100460
AGAIN, pay attention dumb ass. You must prove he INTENDED for them to drink it and that they did. All he did was get caught jerking off with a milk carton in front of him. Not criminal in the least way.

>>738097255
Lmao dsp the faggot

>>738100386
What the fuck else are they going to do with it?

>>738100359
>prove intent
He cums in milk people drink.
>had to have cum
been doing it for 2 years

And then finally when his phone and computer are seized to be scanned for child porn and other illegal fetishes this thread will be found

>>738100641
NO ONE KNOWS THAT!!!!! Jesus christ you are stupid beyond reason

>>738098513
best idea

>>738100641
You have zero concept of how the law works.

>>738097255
Maybe your whore mother likes it. Drive back and fuck her

>>738097255
You are fucking dead, op
You no longer exist to your family.
You are a degenerate of the worst type.
You must An Hero, on livestream.

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OPs mom walked in on him while he was all like...

>>738097255
You're a Trumpfag, aren't you?

>>738098513
this is your only chance OP

>>738100691
>no one knowa that
>mother caught him doing it
>told the entire internet

Yep no one knows OP gets off on jerking into his families milk
>>738100000

>>738100497
Tbh over the time i have been doing this i never lent any thought to how fucked up it was

as for my excuse my story is it was a spur of the moment thing i was going to replace the milk (as i do buy the milk every week or so) and ill just have to live with the shame there is no logical way to explain away why i was cumming into a jug of milk
i dont drink or do drugs so that excuse would be a little far fetched i feel
thanks guys for some reson you have put this whole situation into scope its bad but not as bad as i once thought

>>738100814
Only logical solution OP

Just tell them you tried shrooms and took way to many. Better her think of you this way then learn the truth anon.

>>738100918
You win for biggest moron tonight. No one can top you.

should have immediately downed the milk, then told her you read on the internet it was a system for increasing testosterone and protein for muscle mass.

>>738100971
Nigga it is fucking BAD, you'll be lucky if your mother is able to look you in the eye again.

>>738100769
Ok lol good luck defending the guy who cums in his families milk

You've probably never been in a court room, his mother's testimony alone would be enough to convict him- not to mention he's 24 and jerking off in the kitchen while people are home

You people are retards. People can be convicted on circumstancal evidence, especially in this case

>>738101106
yup. he should join the navy or something. take a bike trip round south america

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>>738100869
>>738100746

But why did I help this person continue to victimize his family

>>738101151
To my defense i didnt know anyone was home

>>738101151
No way anyone can prove that he was gonna leave it for anyone to drink. For all anyone knows, HE was gonna drink it. The mothers testimony? That she caught her son jerking it? Thats a crime? You have ZERO CONCEPT of how the law works.

>>738101031
agreed

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what the FUCK is going on in here

>>738101448
OP cum in milk
Mom hiss at penis

>>738101078

*sigh* "Alright, here's the fucked up truth. I read on the internet that it helps recycle testosterone, among other things, and it seems to make sense. My body uses testosterone, zinc, and other compounds to create sperm and prostatic fluid/semen. If I don't actually put a use to these--namely impregnation of a female for purposes of procreation--it is just wasted biological compounds. I read that these can, via consumption, be recycled by the body. Now, its obviously not a 100% return, and so that is why I was mixing it with milk: milk has salt, sugar, vitamin D, carbohydrates, and protein; the milk also served the purpose of a masking agent for what I would imagine would be a horrendous taste."

>>738101217
cuz we /b/ros

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>>738097255
op go with the shrooms idea
say you got some and decided to try it
that or bathsalts

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>>738101720

I am not your /b/ro and you deserve to be cut off from your family and made to drink rancid neet cum

>>738101897
I'm not OP you retarded piece of shit

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>>738097255
Now this is exactly why we keep our milk in bags in Canada.

>>738101569
kek

>>738101956

then that post is addressed to you as well, anon

>>738101971
Op is a 2 year vet at cumming in Bottles of milk you think a Bag can stop this mad man
he has literally trained every day for the past 2 years na not even your bags are safe from OP

>>738101680
Have you not noticed how hot complete sluts are? Those skanks drink bucket loads of semen and they are not manly. Even guys who drink cum turn into girly traps. Think dammit, THINK.

>>738098513
Honestly this is a solid out, I'd go with this

>>738102155
You have a good point but just like a condom with a hole in it is better than no condom at all the bags still offer more protection from ejaculating perverts.

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I havnt laughed this hard in a while GG Fgts
Remember to Drink your Milk

>>738102793
Especially OP's Special Curdle brand milk

>>738102911
Vitamin Enriched.

>>738098513
This is the easiest hard option

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>>738101971
>>738102155
>>738102546
keep your bagged milk out of here maple sucker

>>738097255
its just protein. they'll be fine with it. keep doing it.

>>738097255
Why would you do that?

Semen is composed of some of the following nutrients: fructose, ascorbic acid, zinc, cholesterol, protein, calcium, citric acid, magnesium, vitamin B12, phosphorous, sodium, potassium, and lactic acid. A daily dose of semen could potentially be a replacement for your multi-vitamin and mineral supplements. you showed them you care. this is easy. go back home and keep your head high.

Anon if you have younger siblings you could be mandatory charges of sexual assault/abuse.

Your family is going to commit you to a residential treatment facility for perverts. You'll be locked up with pedos and dogfuckers. Those places have no parole.

You'll prolly get physically beaten as well or get something shoved up your butt.

Kill yourself and spare everyone the shame and suffering.

Your mom prolly suspected something and staked out the kitchen. Drugs defense won't hold up.

>>738105311
dont listen to this faggot. go home and fuck your mom real slow like you know she wants it. or hard if your convinced she prefers it that way. but either way, this day should not end without you putting the wood on to your mother.

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>>738097255

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>>738097255
what the fuck did i just read

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>>738097255
Leave and never go back, you have no family anymore.

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>>738097255
No reaction image will do this justice, this is going to end up in ylyl

>>738097255
Your mom may forgive you over time but every time she looks at the fridge she will see her disgusting manchild jerking into the family food. May be the last thing she thinks about before she dies, wondering for the last time "What did I do wrong"?

>>738105311
This fag is right.

But this fag makes a good point >>738105687

Porque no los dos

If I was OP, id play it off that I was trying to see if my dick fit and thats it.
Takes the heat for trying to make my dick fit and leave it at that lol

Rolling, does itwork? am I in trouble?

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>>738097255

>>738105687
she stood there and watched you silently masturbating into her coffee creamer. everyone here knows as soon as you bolted, she immediately retreated to the family room half-bath, and guzzled as much of that sweet man-milk she could get down her surprisingly supple throat while furiously strumming her meat guitar. this was meant to be, anon. it's time to meet your destiny.

>>738097255
tell her you found a ad on craigslist by some gay dude offering $100 bucks for cummy milk and you were gonna sell it to him. Also let her know you are a fag.

>>738106618
Fuck me

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>>738100852

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>>738101290

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We already knew that quintfag
Also
Nice >>738100000

Just say you were going to drink it yourself and replace the milk after. If they ask why, claim you were extremely horny, and you don't really know why it seemed like a good idea at the time.