ITT: state your wish and it shall be granted. note there

I want immortality

>>737937977
I really wish I thought I was super sexy, fit, and perfectly shaped. I don't care if I have to get herpes for this wish to come true just no aids.

>>737938027
You are immortal but your body will continue to age. You will get sick but can not die, no mater how much you wish to.

>>737938039
You know believe you are sexy, but you are a 2000 pound whale. Soon you will be returned to the sea and have 5 whale wives.

I wish for my wishes including this one have no catches

>>737937977
I wish I didn't have fetishes for pedophile tier shit

>>737938171
From now on, you will never "Catch" A fish.

>>737938174
You wake up to see you are a 6 year old girl. Now it's not Pedophilia.

I want a slice of pecan pie

>>737938171
Your one, and only one, wish is granted.

more wishes :)

>>737938204
Ok faggot very original you knew what I meant and it was not that, fuck your wishes I'm not wishing for anything

>>737938170
No I want to be actually sexy, to other people too.

>>737938027
your consciousness will go on without your body.

>>737937977
I wish for Madison to be mine

>>737938270
You get it, but the pecans are genetically engineered with aids

>>737938275
Thanks Obama, I'm safe so that's cool

>>737938313
You never asked for that. You asked to be sexy... you are sexy to whales.

>>737938339
Some girl you'll never meet living on the other side of the world named Madison is now yours. You didn't specify which Madison.

>>737937977
I want to be forever young (23 years old)

>>737937977
I wish for the love of Trixie Tang

>>737937977
I want hitler to rise again along with the third reich and his mindset

I wish to be a person who can do and create anything (ex. Create shitton of money)

>>737938494
You now are living a permanent Groundhog day scenario of your worst day as a 23 year old

>>737938494
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1TcDHrkQYg

>>737938494
You were frozen today.

>>737938520
But timmy Turner that is against Da' rules.

>>737938538
They all think you're a Jew

>>737938494
You are stuck on the day of your 23th birthday forever

At least you'll get cake everyday huh

i wish for myself to be able to manipulate all physical matter

I wish for unlimited nudes from females

>>737938627
A short background check, like they did, should fix this

>>737937977
I wish to be able to control time please

I wish for more wishes

>>737938313
everyone you ever meet will be sexually attracted to you. you will only be able to get off to power ranger villains.

>>737938552
You become god like Jim Carrey in Bruce Almighty

>>737937977
I wish the rest of the wishes on this thread have no catches

>>737938705
Doesn't matter what is shown or said to them, they will never not think you're a Jew

I want to own a successful business and be financially well sound

>>737938720
You now have one more wish, but the only thing you ever want to wish for is more wishes.

>>737938729
I'm okay with this one. Wish it was real.

>>737938861
You are now Donald Trump

>>737938663
you now have all them nudes, but you are blind as a bat

>>737938574
>>737938615
>>737938635
okay, but which one of you is OP?

>>737938793
yeah, no, they were very critical in regards of paper.
That's the "mindset"-thingy I mentioned.
And even what if, I'd happily sacrifice myself for a better world

>>737938663
They're all dead corpses since a killer kills anyone you want nudes of and then takes the pics himself and sends them to you

>>737938663
everyone you text secret message to will respond with a nude pic. secret message shall picture of your cut off finger

>>737938761
In exchange, this wish now has all the catches of every other wish

>>737937977
I wish wishes were easier to make.

>>737939035
Doesn't makes sense and is exactly what shouldn't happen

I wish I knew all the secrets of the universe

>>737938979
Bitch no "mindset" can overcome weeb magic. Now another catch is they all get nuked immediately after they come back since their coming was broadcasted to the UN.

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>>737939035
I didnt think this through

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I wish I had friends.

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>>737937977
Dani will be my girlfriend

>inb4 you fuck me up/fuck her up/make me lose my desire to be with her

I wish that I could forget about my father molesting me and my little sister.

>>737937977

I wish I was omnipotent, and had full and total control over the powers granted by this wish.

>>737939155
How does that not make sense? The wish was "every other wish" not "every wish in the thread." Every other wish has no catch, but the wish made to make that happen now has all the catches that no longer apply to the rest of the wishes.

>>737939201
"weeb magic" is not almighty.
And since germany is still part of the UN, they would've played themselves.
Plus, nuke'ing an area as big as the third reich was would create a worldwide nuclear winter, if life was even possible afterwards

>>737939192
You are now the universe

>>737937977
I want septs

>>737939414
That sounds like the opposite of getting screwed over lol

I wish that you love me!

>>737939382
And what's your point? Weeb magic don't give a shit about a worldwide nuclear winter

>>737939282
You now have amnesia and alzheimer

I wish for my grandma to not have diabetes

>>737939272
you have all the friends you want. in a world where everyone is a hopeless retard and you are average intelligence.

>>737939333
The wish doesn't have the power to do that, sorry.

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>>737939506

>>737939484
The UN does, I think. And if they don't, well, at least there won't be humans anymore. win/win

>>737939333
You are now OP and can't undone your faggotry

>>737939462
you can't do anything though, just exist forever

>>737939462
Well you're mostly dead and empty

>>737937977
I wish for wishes with no catch

>>737937977
I wish whatever the catch is to this wish happens to OP.

>>737938663
You get ultimated nudes but your gay

>>737937977
I want to be a cute girl

I want to lead a normal life

>>737939704
You become OP

i want to have a video tape that shows every important historical event as it was. no bullshit and no lies.

>>737939620

Okay, but since I'm omnipotent, your statement is invalid. Omnipotent. As in all-powerful. I can easily undo OP's faggotry.

Git gud, scrub.

>>737938952
Seems pretty nice

>>737939616
cool story

>>737937977
i want my waifu to love me

>>737939775
You can undo it, but it gets re-done immediately after. Have fun spending eternity constantly undoing the faggotry

>>737939767
It has an anime watermark and buzzfeed watermark

>>737938243
I would love that. I could massage my cute loli nipples and still having access to all my dildos and toys

>>737939908
she does, but she's still 2D

pizza time

>>737939750
As an ant

>>737939930
touching yourself speeds up your leukemia that you now have

>>737937977
i want weapons to shoot up my school

I want to be chad.

>>737937977
I want to kill myself

>>737937977
i want to have a green lantern ring.

>>737940060
Your home schooled, and your family abandoned you beforehand.

>>737940031
imokaywiththis.jpg

>>737937977
I wish for other peoples wishes to be false, excepting of course if those wishes in being false would become true.

>>737940080
You're not cool enough to be chad.

>>737940080
Your name is now Chad, literally everything else about you and your life is the same.

>>737940080
You stay the same but your name is just chad, no last name or anything and that fucks every paperwork you've ever had your previous name on

I wish for the ability to bend time and space at my will

>>737940089
Your unspecific wish has now made your urge to die infinitely more unbearable, but you can never die until it's of old age several decades from now.

I want to have a cute 18 years girlfriend and she loves me.

>>737940232
space and time is now a brand that makes spoons and forks.

>>737940114
You have it and it works, but your willpower is so pathetic you can't manage to do anything cool with it.

I wish there was no catch to any of the other anon's wishes unless they're negative like " I wish all (x) died" or "I wish for a sex slave".

>>737940232
Moving mass and space around you kills you instantly due to laws of physics

>>737940297
You now have a cute 18yo girlfriend who loves you deeply. Problem is, she also loves chad too, while you're at work.

I wish for my wifes son to stop beating me up

>>737940149
Your wish is ignored and instead you now know how to speak English. There's no catch to this one.

>>737940297
She loves you like a friend.

>>737940367
You are now doomed to be every anon sex slave who didn't wish for the things you mentioned, until you die

>>737940462
>state your wish and it shall be granted
>it shall be granted
>it shall be
>it
>t

wish granted when?

>>737940574
that's kinda hot

Hope y'all got some big dicks

>>737940452
He now jerks you off and tells your wife about it

>>737940280
How about you just shoot me and call it even

>>737940677
My bull would never let that happen

i want every conspiracy theory to be true

>>737940589
It's not, wish don't give a shit about you.

>>737940337
Kek

>>737937977
I wish I was dead

>>737940725
Nah

>>737940149
Your wish turns out to be fictional

>>737940883
You die, and then are reincarnated into a worse life.

>>737937977
I want a sex doungon with young Thai kids in it

I wish I was a tiny dancer

>>737940977
You're the sex slave, not the kids

>>737940888
Well damn... at least I tried

>>737940984
Elton John holds you closer forever

>>737941057
The fuck kinda catch is that

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>>737940741
jfc, bruh

>>737937977
I want lots of money

I wish to be the spirit of vengeance.

>>737941198
A good one, you pedo piece of shit

>>737937977
I become the son of god (Not Jesus way but more like getting super powers like flying, superstrenght exe).

Guys, the devil doesn't care if you suffer or prosper. He doesn't even want you to go to hell, because it's actually supposed to be his paradise and kingdom outside of God's realm. Most of you would just fuck up the vibe, tbh.

The only time Satan/Lucifer/The Devil ever does ev il is when he's made a bet with God. As in God actively gets him to do evil things for his own purposes. The Devil wouldn't grant your wishes unless you had something for him(which you don't) and even if he did favor you enough to lend a boon, he'd have no reason to latch a negative clause onto it. Just doesn't add up.

tldr; op is LARP and satan wishes don't real

>>737941327
But you realise the spirt of vengenance is quite week and can not hurt anyone.

>>737941577
You're only the son of a Shepard

>>737941324
Granted but is is monopoly money.

I wish I could have sex whenever I wanted to

>>737941804
You can but it's rape.

>>737941745
You do not understand how this game works do you? There is suppose to be a catch not a change off the original wish. For an example "I want to suck op cock". Saying you only suck nigger cock is a change of the wish. However saying Op is a nigger and you are now addicted to nigger cock is not.

I want to play catch.

>>737937977
I hope you fucking die

I wish only the white race existed

>>737941721
no sher Shitlock

I want to be the ideal weight for my age and gender

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>>737941922
sounds like someone is a total hoot at parties.

>>737941731
Huh so basically life as normal except now morals aren't holding me back. Weak. Damn you!

>>737938729
>when she finds out that when you were slamming her you were really thinking about Squatt

>>737941979
Albinos rule everything

>>737941979
Plot twist: your great great great grandmother was native american due to rape. You are not pure, and thus die with the rest

>>737942028
Sounds like someone is not capable of going to parties since the instructions would probably be to hard to read.

>>737942028
>implying he goes to parties to begin with

>>737937977
I wish I was happy

I wish Peter Griffin was real

>>737941922
Forgive me, master of games.

>>737942117
>Implying this is not same fag

>>737942088
I Would-be willing to make that sacrifice for the greater good of the world

>>737942009
Granted, but now you're also two feet shorter, making you terribly overweight for your height.

>>737942135
he dies instantly from drunk driving

>>737942131
You find happiness in the form of solitude. the happiness was in you all along, so you turn to a life of being a homeless vagabonding bum.

>>737937977
I want a bacon jalapeno cheese burger and sweet potato fries with a large unsweetened iced tea.

>>737941922
this. op's wish granting game is weak

>>737937977
I wish that all wishes I make, including this one, will never have a catch.
>System broken

>>737942135
Granted.

[spoiler]You are now peter griffin.[/spoiler]

>>737942135
he lived and died long ago before recorded history

I choose death

I would like to have telekinesis.

>>737942233
at least i'm happy i guess

>>737942263
Granted. However your regular wishes are just that, regular wishes. No one is there to grant them because you just wasted your one wish on not having a backlash on your true one.

>>737942309
Your gonna get fucked in the ass by jews

>>737942234
you get your order, but everything is cold except for the tea. the tea will be scalding hot.

>>737937977
>27 years old
I wish my family would stop telling me who I am and let me figure it out for myself.

>>737942135
why would you waste a wish on this bullshit? How does the benefit you?

I wish my left arm was a ak47 that sounded like a barking dog when it fired!

>>737942367
No one ever said I get just one "real wish".

>>737942234
Granted... however, it seems someone forgot to cook that burger all the way, and you now have tapeworms.

>>737942475
Granted but you never manage to do so without your familiy.

>>737942475
You are going to get fucked in the ass by a bunch of niggers

>>737942309
every time you use it you fart really loud and you now have an 40% higher chance of shitting yourself.

>>737942218
Damn, that'd put me at 3ft 7
Then my next wish is that puberty didn't hit so I'd be able to fulfill someone's weird shota fantasies... for a price.

>>737942279
Fuck yeah there's no downside

>>737942297
BY POONTAH

>>737942428
DAMN YOU MONKEY'S PAW!!... oh wait I have a microwave and ice. I'm ok with this.

>>737942599

if you join, you'll get severe malware.

>>737942529
He's basically fucking immortal

>>737937977
The ability to eat anything and any amount while still maintaining basic weight to height ratios

>>737942570
Granted, but the world no longer has anyone who has that fetish, including you.

I wish I had the powers of Minato Namikaze

>>737942570
Granted but now shota is a capital offense for all parties involved

>>737942200
>Implying I care

>>737942864
Granted but it all literally tastes like shit

>>737939280
>She's your girlfriend.
But also a niggers GF too, will leave you mid sex to go fuck him and his brudda's

>>737942559
That's the problem. I'm having a personality crisis because I don't even know what my favorite color is at this point. I've been TOLD it's red, but I only said it was red so my sister would like me. It's HER favorite color, not mine. They TELL me who they WANT me to be, and I act that way so they'll be happy. When I present them with evidence that they're incorrect, they get mad and start criticizing me until I start acting the way they want me to.

>>737942864
You now instantly get cramps and shit out everything when you eat.

Side note I actually do this in real life ever since I got my gallbladder removed. It sucks.

>>737937977
i want the kaaba to explode.

>>737938039

As someone pretty sexy, fit, & almost perfectly shaped - with herpes, no you don't want this.

kill me

>>737937977
Rick and Morty never existed, because it's fucking cancer

>>737941870
> made me lel.

I wish that no one could ever get dubs again.

>>737942565
I have a fart/scat fetish so this is actually cool. thank you god

>>737942878
You now have the powers he did when he was a baby.

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>>737943085
Granted, but I will now get all your dubs. Check 'em.

>>737943064
nice meme faggo

>>737938872

http://www.therichest.com/expensive-lifestyle/entertainment/the-10-hottest-power-ranger-villainesses/

I wish OP wasn't a faggot

>>737943210
Not a meme, it's just a terrible show, and the fan base is even worse

>>737939698

Nothing has changed!

>>737937977
I wish no catch on wishes I wished while wishing the same thing

>>737943141
Oh shit, that's still fucking awesome

>>737937977
I wish attractive women wanted to have sex with me.

>>737939910

What part of omnipotent don't you get? I just alter reality so that it stops being redone.

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>>737937977
I want Natalie Dormer as my wife who loves me. Her current age, height, and weight for all time.

>>737943364
But she is a crackhead

>>737943491
But you hate her and cannot stand being near here

>>737942966
Damn...I guess we're jumping off a bridge.

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>>737943560

>>737942974
Lol.

>>737942529
op's not granting mine or what?

i want to be rich

I wish I had all the knowledge I've accumulated at 28 when I was in 9th grade.

>>737937977
I want to have breakdance lessons with Taylor Swift and Lorelai Gilmore in Kenya

>>737943714
You are now named Rich

I wish I never existed and never will exist.

>>737938639
There are no physical matter in your universe exept you

>>737943818
but the same goes for niggers and jews

>>737943732
Despite the knowledge, time will flow normally and you cannot change any events leading up to now

>>737937977

I wanna be a beautiful girl of the human variety

>>737943952
But you are a dead one

I wish for perfect health, looks and more money than i can spend.

>>737944134
But you are locked in the basement of a serial killer for the rest of your life

I wish for my wish to be granted

>>737943278
Nice edge

>>737944272
It is granted, but by Hulk Hogan, who wants eye-watering anal sex every day for the rest of your life in return.

>>737944134
Granted but you die tomorrow in a freak accident

>>737944328
Nice autism

>>737944554
>no you

>>737944554
>>737944623
stop ruining this thread you autistic cockmonglers

I want to die, no afterlife and I wish that everyone ever would just forget me

>>737943404
Your faggotry is coded in your genes, to delete it you need to kys

>>737944623
>doesn't even know to say no u
Newfag

>>737944695
It was ruined with the pic op posted

>>737944709
You will die, eventually at the ripe old age of 108

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I wanna be fat

>>737944709
Guess that's not happening, is it
>>737944903
No I just want to disappear, no trace of me

>>737944949
Granted but its with a P-H

>>737937977
I want to be more motivated in life, everything I do seems so tedious and I don't have energy for anything.

>>737945014
And you will after age 108 years

>>737945051
You now have the motivation but not the means to do any it

>>737945051

Wish granted. You are successful and rich but you're a nigger.

>>737942529
Your right arm is a cat. Normal cat that grows from your hand

>>737945063
Yeah that'll take a while
Just wipe me out and that's it
I'm too much of a pussy for an hero but I don't see a point in life

I want s u c c

>>737945051
You just need to take better care of your body. Get more sleep, drink more water, eat smaller meals more often, and get outside in the sunlight for at least 10-15min everyday. You wouldn't believe how much of a difference it can make. We always treat our bodies like shit then wonder why we always feels like shit without realizing how simple the fix is. My doctor's the one who told me about Vitamin D deficiencies effect on your mood stability, matter of fact. I live in a place that doesn't get a lot of natural sunshine (rains and snows often). She said Vit D helps your brain create the chemicals that make you feel "happy" or "content".

>>737945197
You will be wiped out. At 108 years old

i wish i wasn't so pretentious

t. a /mu/ user

>>737945199

you get s u c c but you get an incurable STD

>>737945317
Granted you now have 0 self confidence

>>737945199
but ur pp falls off

>>737945317
Granted, but you cannot live without your vinyl collection and thus kill yourself in grief.

>>737937977
I'd like a job that will never fire me, but it has to be one I actually enjoy.

>>737945492
Granted, but it does not pay you any money

i wish for the power of shapeshifting

>>737945492
It's a very simple physical job but your back is broken

>>737945492
Granted, but its male prostitution because you're a faggot.

>>737945581
You can only shift into shapes you can calculate every attribute of geometrically

>>737937977
I want a Karambit sapphire on CS:GO

I wish I was all of Spider-Man's powers

>>737945727
But you cannot play CS:GO anymore nor access the item

>>737945249
you're right, I neglect myself too much

>>737945727
Can kill only teammates

>>737945773
You are now all of Spider-Mans powers, you as a person do not have them, you just are the concept of them on a comic book

>>737945574
>>737945585
>>737945652
whelp, I didn't think that one through

I wish I could transfer my mind to another's body.

>>737945907
Can't go back

>>737945907
It can only be dead bodies that cannot do anything

>>737937977
I want to be strong/athletic as fuck. Olympic tier athleticism.

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I wish for omnipotence

>>737945977
But you have the intelligence of an poodle

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>>737945441
now i can be a trap

>>737938027
you watch very one you love grow old and die and friend make have same fate till the end world

>>737939557
This shit is like McDonalds saying the ice cream machine doesn't work. Gives me conniptions.

I wish I had the ability to speak all the languages in the world

>>737946000
But you can only access it after learning all knowledge of the universe by your own learning

>>737946022
honestly totally worth if you can still talk. Mayweather can't read and his life is way better than mine.

>>737946090
But you are deaf

>>737946037
I'm okay with this

i specifically wish the bank to say my account has had $246,000,000 added by my long lost uncle from baghdad and gives me all the money in cash for me to take back to my house safely and live happily ever after.

>>737946090
you forget which one is which

>>737938319
This actually sounds amazing

I wish I could get a (you)

>>737946188
Until a criminal Mastermind comes to take it back from you, knowing exactly where you are whenever you spend any money

I wish I wasn't a furfag

>>737945971
i never said I wanted to transfer back

>>737946349
you become a pedofag instead

"So, what are you the Devil or something?"

>>737946349
Granted. You are instead obsessed with child pornography

>>737946398

Even better

>>737946432
>>737946398

Are you guys pedomind

God like deductive and inductive reasoning.

>>737946528
Which can only be used to solve elementary math

I wish I could marry helens niece rie and have the sweetest life with her.

>>737938627
topkek