Any funny sex stories? I start. >put dick in girls butt >pull

how's year 8

>>737799116
how was it, all things considered? i wanna fuck my girl in the ass so bad but she wont let me because shes worried this will happen. i worry too but i feel like its worth the risk.

>>737799182
Fpbp

>>737799301
pretty tight. felt good at all.

>>737799116
It's only smellzz.
You taste?

>fucking girl on her period in the shower
>Not too much blood
>Say fuck it, let's just go to the bed
>Go to the bed and fuck
>Murder scene happened on my dick
>"Let's get back to the shower"

And that's why you gotta do it in the shower if she's on her period

>>737799805
No.

>>737800134
I guess you havn't seen the clip. Go to efukt, and look up it only smells. You'll get it then.

>>737800180
I think I have seen it already. The one with a negroe crackhead?

>>737800355
not that one. This one is with Rocco Siffredi

>>737800355
Nah if I remember right its a redhead, getting it in the ass, then sucking off the shit afterwards.

>>737799301

enemas exist

>>737799116
>Any funny sex stories? I start.
>>put dick in girls butt
>>pull out
>>shit on dick
>>smells
I think you need to expand this into a full-length novel.

>>737800852
Really? What else do you need to know?

Another one:
>girlfriend blows me
>come into her mouth
>she tries to swallow
>vomits on my stomach instead

Last one:
>creampie girl on a toilet at a club
>do you want to swallow?
>nope
>later see her again
>giant cum spot on her jeans

>>737799116
>put dick in girls mouth
>pull out
>shit on dick
>smells

>>737802419
now that's funny!

>>737801160
>Titanic: Boat sinks, everyone dies. What else do you really need to know?
biggest blockbuster of all time

>>737799116
>>put shit in girls smells
>>pull out
>>dick on shit
>>butt

Vomit pizza onto dick

>>737802289
that is like your signature on a cast

>fucking ex gf In the shower
>decide to switch to anal
>start really pounding that ass
>feels good man.jpg
>pull my dick out for some reason
>her asshole fires a single tiny poop pellet that hits my balls
>pellet is so small it actually goes down the drain
>ex gf and I can't even finish the sex because we are both laughing too hard

>>737803046
Now that was really funny. Laughed very hard. Or kekd, like you kids call it these days.

>fucking gf from behind at a weird angle
>bottom of dick hurts a bit but feels great otherwise
>cum
>pull out and blood EVERYWHERE
>"Sweetie, are you near your period?"
>"No, I finished a week ago."
>...
>"Uh, oh."

I must have burst a vein or something, because I had managed to ejaculate about a quart-cup of blood along with the semen.

>>737803776

That's awesome.

>fucking chubby 3/10 from gift shop at work on my bed
>shes riding my dick and im smacking her titties around coz they were sensitive
>both about to climax, shes screaming
>hear door creak open
>roommates puppy sits in the doorway with the most horrified look in her face
>jumps up onto the bed, stands against her back and tries to join in
>i kek as i blow my load

>>737803776
I like to think her asshole made a little "ThFOO" sound as when launching a spitball.

>>737804186

Reminds me of one:

>gf riding me cowgirl style
>gf's dog enters room, starts licking her juices off my balls
>feelsgoodman.jpg

And that's my threesome with my girlfriend and her dog.

>>737799116
>Be me 14 years old
>Getting first handjob from a friendly slut
>She doesn't want to suck it wtf.jpg
>Keeps going with hand, rubbing my balls with the other
>She keeps looking at me as if to say her hand hurts
>Tell her to swap hands, the new hand has better technique
>Start getting real close
>She notices and starts going all out full power glove shit
>"I'm gonna cum" I whimper out
>"Go anon, go for me"
>First spurt of cum hits me straight in my left eye
>she bursts out in laughter and stops rubbing while I'm still cumming
>My whole belly/chest is covered never mind half my face
>In lots of shame and euphoria
>Never speak to her or see her again
>FeelsBad.png

>>737799301
E N E M A
N
E
M
A

>>737804339
Fucking beta. Should have laughed with her. Insecure cuck

>doing a bored single mom after work one night
>she manages a tanning salon so has no tan lines anywhere
>also friends with wax place next door so no body hair anywhere
>also she has 15-25 extra lbs on her so no sharp corners anywhere
>90% there when I realize I'm basically doing a giant mexican baby

File: 1499069269698.gif (795KB, 245x168px) Image search: [Google]

795KB, 245x168px

>>737799116
> be me at age of 7
> got molested by the 4 years older boy from the neighborhood
> jump cut
> be me at the age of 9
> putting my weiner in a 8 y o puss I talked into playing seek and hide and showing the parts
> parents get aware of this
> we both got shit
> story came to light about the older boy
> he got shit
> story came to light about how his parents molested him
> end

>having sex with gf
>Haven't done anal yet
>tell her I want to cum in her ass
>she's down, but it's gotta be at the last second
>pull out of the v and empty a huge load in her butt
>nice.jpg
>later on we're cooking inbthe kitchen
>suddenly I hear a brap over my shoulder
>gf staring at me in horror as she's brapping sloppily
>sounding like she shit herself all kinds of bad
>goes to bathroom
>a few seconds later
>"it's your fucking cum anon!!!"

Fucking gf $0
Nice dinner $30
Making your gf fart out your cum...

priceless.

>>737804766
Happened a few times to my gf. Always funny.

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14KB, 500x400px

>Get wamen over ive been working on for months
>I finger her vageen
>realize I can feel poop clogging her angus through the vaginal wall
>its like hard dumps in there, real mastic
>try to fuck anyways
>cant focus
>cock is parallel to enormous poo log
>i feel it
>wang goes into nah mode
>she wants to know what was wrong the next day via text
>tell her she needed to take a crap and I could feel the poo more than her vageen
>never spoken to again

Fuck it, I could have said it was me but it wasnt. she had a crap filled vagina

>>737805074
You fucked up man. Chicks that are down to bone when they gotta poo are keepers

>>737799996
>decide to fuck gf while she's on her period
>figure it won't be too bad, just have her on top
>actually feels pretty good and I don't mind the blood too much
>doesn't smell or anything
>get ready to pull out
>flip her over
>pull out cock
>sweetbabyjesus.jpg
>there is blood everywhere
>it's all over me, up to my navel
>thighs, dick, and abdomen absolutely covered in blood
>she has blood wedged in her asscrack that dried in the open air and she didn't realize it until I flipped her over
>it's incredibly thick
>don't dare to touch the aborted fetus that my cock has become
>we both go to the shower

Still worth. Would do it again if she wanted it.

>>737805074
Fucking this.

My gf said she was down to fuck so we did. She was riding me reverse cowgirl and I could feel a massive shit through her vaginal wall and it was fucking my shit up.

Worst part was I was ignoring it for the most part, up until I saw her asshole start to wink and open up because the shit was so close to exiting.

>>737805567
Why didn't you shove your dick in her arse to push the shit back? Asking for a friend.

>>737805327
this so much

had a gf just like that. No fucks given as long as we could fuck. Everey fucking day.

god I miss her
theonethatgotaway.webm

Is there anyone whoe doesn't fuck his girlfriend when she's on her period? That's disgusting! In Europe that's not very common.

>>737805074
wang goes into nah mode
Ha ha haaaaaaa live it

>>737806047
>In Europe that's not very common.
and you know this beacuse you asked them all?
I bet you don't even have any friends you could ask. Just because you are a scared little douche who can't handle some vagoon blood doesn't mean that the rest of us are the same

Fuck you you little bitch

t. European all fucker

>>737803778
>kekd
>like you kids call it these days
>keks as old as 4chan
kill yourself newfag

>>737806138
I meant *love it

>>737806229
only newfags call other newfags
>your a newfag

>>737806229
kek is from 207
>4chan was founded in 19986
>newfag detected

>>737806198
What else do you do? Eat her out while she is on her period? Who are you? King of the cucks? Topcuck? You are pathetic, americuck. Keep cucking.

>>737799805
Back when efukt was funny

>>737799116

Similar story

>fuck girl in car
>make her put in buttplug
>6'3 so i make her ride me
>cum
>afterwards smell shit
>assume i stepped in dogshit as we were in a field
>shit on my hands and shirt
>realize her ass leaked while i fucked her
>never mention it until now
>still fuck same girl

> Wife is 6 months pregnant
> haven't had sex in a while due to her feeling uncomfortable about it at first
> Finally feels sexy enough to go at it one night out of the blue
> Finally.jpg
> Decide to get things going by eating her out, it always gets her soaking wet and horny asf
> Going to town when she accidentally lets out an involuntary fart right in my face
> try not to gag and keep calm about it as to not hurt her feelings
> go to bathroom to "wash up"
> throw up
> I'm mortified but we end up laughing our asses off about it later

File: 1498726330824.jpg (35KB, 479x395px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 479x395px

> be me age of 22
> only had older women so far
> they showed me
> thought, I wanted to make a virgin a woman
> got laid with this sweet 17 girl
> gf for 3 month
> after we split, she became lesbian
> I thought, I should give it second try
> got laid with a very nice, little chubby 19 yo virgine
> my gf for 6 month
> again it's her who dropped me
> year later I hear she is lesbian now
> WTF
> Im am 25 and by now, I had sex with three virgins and two of them became lesbians.
> me sad

>>737801875
sounds ca$h

>>737803776
you broke up with this chick?

>>737805074
because soobermoon

>>737805327
I dont get the negative stigma of periods. I honestly have been fucking girls on periods since i was in school. My first girlfriend who was tiny had really bad periods and it still never put me off.

>>737806620
>cuck
did you learn a new word this weak?

>>737807554
No, but you are just a nasty bitch.

>>737805074
This is the funniest thing I've read on 4chan. So funny because it's sooooo relatable