Hey /b/ I feel like shit help me out. Earlier this year I met

There's a lot more guys, hold on

No one knew about us yet, people just thought we we're friends, she didn't like that, and she was always pushing me to be more affectionate in public.

I wanted to but I didn't want to risk getting caught, but as time went on I started getting more relaxed and I started doing more outside.

My friends found out, they're regular people, they just thought my parents were strict, once they found out all they did was encourage me to do more with her, I wasn't supposed to but I really wanted to.

Things started to get more interesting at this point..

Damn, how old are you know dude? And assuming you're not a virgin anymore

>>737665579
First I'm going to get the joke out of the way and ask if Jehovah's witness' are even aloud to be on here as this is pretty much the internet equivalent of hell on earth?

Second, You never really stated, the problem other than that you feel bad, so I'm going to guess its that you either haven't seen her in in a while, or can't see her for some reason.
If that is the case my immediate thought is of course try to see her, but I'm guessing it is more of the "can't" situation. So, you have two options. You can either move on. Accept that it is going to be a slow, long, and painful process, but you will eventually find someone else to love. Or you can hold out for who knows how long, waiting/hoping/etc. for her to come back into your life. That is a choose you need to make. And if you pick moving on, you need to accept that it will be painful, but know it will get better.

>I had only invited her over one time at this point
>but immediately after the first time all she did was try and get me to invite her over again
>Last time was perfect why not?
>this took place a week after the first time

>she gets a lot more touchy with me
>stuff like feeling my leg under the table
>just think she's being cute or whatever
>she starts running up and down my thigh
>I get sort of embarrassed I'm still a virgin here
>she eventually works her way up to my groin
>she starts caressing me there through my pants
>all while I'm at my friends trying to play cards against humanity, I can't do anything but sit there and let her

>later that night she starts texting me, telling me how she could feel me there when we were cuddling and she wants me really bad

(COnt.)

>>737666364
I'm still 18 this didn't happen a while ago. I'm not a virgin anymore, I'm getting to that

>>737666707
Niiice, cont. my man

>>737666552
Yeah I know I shouldn't be here, I'm not a very good witness, I try my best, I haven't done anything too bad, except one thing but, I'm not better than anyone, usually I just come here to laugh but I haven't been feeling good lately.

I'm gonna get to the problem but I want to tell the story first, you're on track though

>she starts texting me all kinds of things she want to do
>I'm not even supposed to be dating her let alone have sex
>the next day is when she came over

>no one is home, I walk her to my house
>it's the same as last time, we start kissing in my bed again
>she stops and tells me to lie still
>she sticks her hand down my pants and gasps

I don't think I'm that big but she seemed to

>you know where that goes

At this point I get really guilty, I was supposed to be a virgin until I got married, but no one knew so I didn't tell anyone

>she gets addicted to me
>she's still affectionate with me but she talks about us doing that all the time
>I felt guilty but it did feel good when I did do it.
>our relationship just keeps getting stronger and she's coming to my house at least once a week and doing the same thing.

>my guilt is seemingly around only at night, we did it a good amount of time by now

>she gets tired of hiding this from my parents and wants to meet them
>it was nerve wracking, but my brother did the same thing before and he's doing fine
>work up the courage to tell them
>dad understands and says we'll talk about it soon

This was at a bad time because my brothers girlfriend lives out of the country and she was visiting, she lived at our house for about two weeks and I told him about halfway through it

My family are witnesses too.

I'm not gonna sugarcoat it but dude. Move forward. I'm not gonna shit in your religion or anything but you need to grow a pair and just move forward. So many fuckin people live in the past. You have so many years ahead of you.

>dad is completely fine with it at first, just says we need to talk about it
>my brother did something. I don't know what but he did something that really upset my dad
>it had something to do with his girlfriend, my dad can't desperate them because they had already been together 4 years, so he calls me in
>he tells me he's not going have this happen twice and says that I need to make a big decision soon

>gf doesn't know that my dad is upset so I act like everything is normal
>we constantly talk about how much we love each other and how we want a future together
>married, kids, house. Etc.
>we are so in love it's unbearable to be without the other

This is where everything is messed up
I'm not sure what happens to much here because I'm pretty sure my parents got me drunk on purpose

>the day come where we talk about it
>he offers me a beer to talk about it
>he seems chill
>we talk and talk
>all the while my mom brings is more and more bottles
>he says that I need to break up with her
>that she's just a dumb girl and I deserve better

>this makes me mad but I let it go because he seems to be in a good mood and I've already drunk a good amount
>I keep drinking I can't stop
>I just realized that I have to break up with the live of my life
> I drink more and more
>I start crying uncontrollably because I can't think about being away from her

>I'm so drunk that it's hard to move
>I text her all the things I want to say
>I love her, she's perfect, she's beautiful
>dad takes my phone but I can't do anything

>gf gets worried and calls me over and over again
>she made her profile picture on my phone a picture I took of us one night that I snuck out
>parents see picture
>immediately know I did something I wasn't supposed to and that she not just a girl that I like but one I've done a lot of things with

>somehow they get into my phone and they find out everything
>dad keeps my phone and says that I can't ever talk to her again

>hours go by
>I can't believe I can't be with her anymore
They still have my phone

>that same day I find my old kindle from a couple of years ago
>I try for hours to find a way to talk to her
>I can't find her anywhere

>I just get kik and typed in her username she uses on the ps4, I didn't think it would work, but sure enough there she is

>tell her everything
>she's happy to know I'm okay and she doesn't know what we're supposed to do

>she eventually tells me that her family is okay if I want to live there with her for a while
Now this would he perfect except I'm a Jehovah's witness.
If the other witnesses heard I left to live with some girl,I'd get kicked out from the religion, meaning I can't talk to my family until I go through a long process to get back into it

I have several family members who are dying right now and they need me
No one else takes care of them because they're either busy, or they just don't want to

I can't just leave them there while they die alone
If I left with her I'd be gone for who knows how many years, I'd only have a chance of coming back after we got married, and the process of coming back could take a really long time

>but we're still in love
I message her everyday
>we go through a cycle so many times
>she begs me to live with her
>I get so close to just giving it all up and starting a new life with her and her family
>but every time I get worried about my family and what they would do without me
>every time I say no

>it seems this last time was the final time
>she begs and begs for me to leave
>that shell keep me happy when I miss my family

>I reluctantly said no
>she gets enraged at me and says I was the only person in her life that cared about her and that I was the only reason she's been happy

I helped her through a lot of stuff while we were together, we had both been through so much, what she says is probably true.

Why dont you just leave your home once your like 20 or 21, live with your gf and just marry her?

woops, forget about my first post

And now I'm here.

I haven't spoke to her in a couple of days
I still love her with everything I have
I've been so miserable without her

I've just been inside with nothing better to do than think about the Times together
I miss her so much

What do you guys think?
I don't have anyone to talk to about this

My dad got so paranoid once he found out she was in my house he installed security cameras in here so he can watch me whenever he needs to

He knows I had the chance to leave and I probably still do

Femanon here. Your parents have an unreasonable amount of concern and control over you as a legal adult. I mean shit going through your phone? Jesus :/
I wouldn't say living with her is the answer. The person you're in love with 18 is likely not the person you're going to be with at 25. I'd stand up to your family more regarding your social life, because that is your decision, not theirs. However, since you find as an adult your choices do not align with theirs you might want to consider moving out sooner than later. Consider seeing your gf perhaps in secret or just hiding things from your parents for the near future?

>>737670206
Yeah I know it's ridiculous
They invaded my privacy, I said a lot of things on there that was only meant to be between us

I've seen her a couple of times before she got mad at me for not moving in, she was so happy to see me but she couldnt stay for long.

I really want to move out
I don't like it here much anymore, my dad gets mad at me because he knows that I'm thinking about her

I still want to be with hear, I'd love to live with hear, but I don't want to abandon my family for who knows how long

>>737665579
>I'm a Jehovah's witness
That is when I stopped believing this post.

They would not post here.

>>737670206
We kept the relationship going for about a month after my parents thought we broke up already

I just didn't think it was fair to her to be stuck with me and she can barely even see me

I wish o kept her messages, I could have put them here for you guys to see, but the final time she just lost it, she wanted me so bad but I had no choice but to say no, she was so hurt, I haven't talked to her since then, and I feel so had about it.

I never wanted to hurt her, I still love her

>>737670750
I had premarital sex, visiting 4Chan is the least of my worries

grow a pair and be your own man. Religion is bullshit, believe in God, but don't let humans rule over and chide you with religious juncture, they are no closer to God than you, and you do NOT need them to have faith. If God is truly benevolent then he will forgive you for your transgressions as long as you have faith try your best to live, he did not make us perfect after all.

>>737670828
Grow up.
Move on
You can't do anything about it unless you move out and stop being a Jehovah's witness.

So you either ditch your religioon
Or move forward
Stop posting any more sad love shit those are your options. I'm being 100% legit. So Fuckin choose one. It was 1 girl out of billions. There will be another. I've been there and I know your not going to listen but yknow what. Fuck you.

>>737670922
Pics or it didn't happen

>>737670970
Seriously

>>737670922
well i mean do witnesses even believe in Heaven/Hell? I thought witness believed that if your a shitty person you just take an longer dirt nap and don't get run around on God's playground. when he decides to come back.

>>737671204
I'd post pics but I don't have my phone

I have so many pictures of her

>>737665579
Bro non of this is going to be ur fault go see her if it affects ur relationship with ur parents so be it this is on them not you if they choose to neglect you for religious belief from the looks of it its causing misery why stick with it convert or stop

I went through a very similar thing with a non-religious, and yet psycho and extremely strict mother and moved in with the guy at 18. Living together is a lot of new stress by itself. You really need your own space to make your own choices. If you move in with her and it doesn't work out you don't have a contingency plan and are fucked. What is preventing you from at least getting your own space and avoiding all of this drama?

>>737671233
Witnesses have different beliefs than standard Christians, we believe that heaven of out there but only a small amount of humans go there when we die.

The faithful ones die and get resurrected here on earth after Armageddon, where we believe we can live a life that God interned us to, with no pain sickness or death.

The unfaithful ones just die and that's the end of it

have you considered leaving? you said you have sick family members, get there contact info, ask them what they think the situation
>People on there death bed tend to be more reasonable since there mortality is forcing them to realize how how short and fleeting life is
Maybe they can talk to your parents. I'm asuming you've graduated highschool, what your plans? College?

>>737671482
I'm broke

I just graduated last month I don't have a job or money, saving up would take a while and I don't think I could soon enough

>>737671580
They just die?
Not even a hell or anything?

>>737671646
I wanted to go to get training for something in IT, it shouldn't take too long but it still takes time

I really want to move out but I just can't right now

>>737671580
Ah yes that what i remembered, i've always leaned toward more witnesses since they don't really the whole fire and brimstone pony show. but the strictness and hivemind collectivity seems too suffocating. The fact that could and would completly cut you off from everyone you love and know just because you act or believe in even slightly different way is preposterous

>>737671849
Well you have to figure we believe that God is a loving God, and he wouldn't want people to suffer for eternity, even if they were bad.
They would just die and stop existing.
Just like how you experienced life before you were born

If you get a low end job and work as many hours as possible. Save up for a damage deposit and rent and get a room. Should take about a month or even two if you are relatively frugal. You just have to live cheaply, depends on if your freedom is worth it. Shit you could even go into trades, since it makes good money relatively quickly.

>>737665579
Cucked even by religion she probs take a few black guys to screw her head back on oh well more girls for them

>>737671914
Have you considered Jobcore? its free tradeschool, they house and feed you. theres multiple facilities in each state, you can even choose to go out of state. it could be good for you, put you around some different people from all walks of life.

>>737671969
>tfw Judaism doesn't believe in brimstone, but no one knows this because it's a meme to hate Jews

>>737665579
Gimme her kik or something white boi ima take her off ur hands u can sit and eat shit trash religion also get off the internet becus ur not meant to enjoy life like the rest of us

>>737672213
I've never heard about that before. I should really check it out.

>>737671365
Then I can't believe you.

>>737672396
Okay

>>737672331
Nice bait

Can even go on Kijiji and find work. Lots of people post all types of jobs.

>>737672597
I seriously need a job, even if this doesn't work out I'd at least have something to do

>>737672358
yup, you just have to go to a seminar
In my area they hold them every day in the afternoon but obviously might different for you. its not that hard to get in, just don't be a gun toting thug is there main priority. you will need all your items of identification such as a birthcertificate, which if can't be gotten from your parents, can be gotten from other places. Again this could be good for you since it will teach not to be so dependent on your parents, since your main issue right now is that they have so much power over you.

>>737665579
Shes probs already over u as she realised how beta u are
>not man enough to stand up for urself like ur brother
Dw anon shes probs happy with the cock shes getting

>>737671365
name

>>737673043
Dude fuck off

>>737672292
ive actually heard of it, ive actually considered dating jew girls because of it, but never really felt like looking into it. my middle school history teacher actually gave us religous courses
>purely from a historical/scientific point of view not actually preaching
i think it should be mandatory to learn the basics of these religions at young age, it would dispell allot of ignorance, and possibly free some kids from zealotous parents who control how they believe and consume religious texts.

>>737672984
I stood up for us, the problem is that the only reason my parents are okay with my brother is because she's trying to convert

My girl just didn't want to, I think she might, she was about to at one point but she just changed her mind, I wouldn't make her that's not the right thing to do.

>>737665579
You werent meant to have a gf in the first place so now ur a disapointment to ur family and you also lost ur girl nice

>>737673277
Yeah I know that's why I feel like shit

>>737673105
not even my man, this is eeirily similar to the story of my niece who dated a Jehovah witness, i just need a first name

Can you live a life in silence if the song of your heart goes mute?

>>737673321
Cmon anon all these mean thing im posting is meant to give u motivation to stand up and be a man hell ur letting me shit on you

>>737673343
Brooke

>>737665579
just read the whole story, this is super similar to what my niece told me, I'm not asking for a full name just the first one, if this is what I think it is i don't know

>>737673438
then I'm afraid we live in different worlds my friend, if you my niece's boyfriend I would have done everything I could to help you, I really would have

>>737673617
all the stories posted here are works of fiction, only a fool would believe them, however if this is true then best of luck my man, and sorry once again I thought you were that guy that my niece is dating

>>737673846
It's alright, I'd prove it but I cant

>>737673846
I seriously appreciate the concern, I wish it was your niece, I could use some help

Just get any job you can OP! It instills a lot of confidence and then you can make your own decisions when you're making your own money :) You're an adult, after all.
The religious aspect does suck though.

I'm going to just try my best to move in, I'd live to have her, I don't think ill ever love some one like that again, I was looking for any ways possible, I just can't see it happening without living the same and being able to see my family anymore.

If leaving would solve all the problems I would have, is s just not that simple, I really wish it was

What can I do to at least feel better?

>>737675222
Move on, that's the worst possible typo I can make, it means the complete opposite

>>737675222
telling your parents to fuck off for one, like one anon said, you need them to hold on to your beliefs, thats how they trap you. as far sick family goes, itll hurt but eventually you'll move on. we all do.

If you choose to move in with her, get a job while you're there asap. That way if it doesn't work out at least you're not totally fucked. Then focus less on your family, family isn't your whole life.

The religious aspect complicates things but they will need time to adjust. You're their son and they should eventually get over it and things can repair between you all.

Really though, if it weren't for religion I would have gone already.
I love her so much.
She was everything I could ask for.

I feel really bad for her because from her point of view we just fell in love and then out of nowhere just just have to disappear and now she's left all alone.

Her family neglects her a lot, I felt like she needed me more than anything and I just had to leave her

File: Screenshot_2017-07-02-20-08-29_kindlephoto-476176514.jpg (74KB, 326x684px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 326x684px

This is the last thing she said to me, what do you guys think?

Sounds like she's telling you what we're saying. It was your choice to leave her, no one else's.

>>737676701
It was my choice, I just didn't feel like leaving them to live with her would be the right thing to do.

Those members of my family don't have much time left, I wanted to stay so I could be around when they die, I want them to die happy at least

>>737665579
Good for you Anon have fun!
https://youtu.be/SvOZwqMdR0I

>>737677035
So you're sacrificing yourself and her for people who won't even be around to appreciate it for long.
Great fucking plan, bud.

Then you chose your family's wishes over your apparent true love. What exactly are you looking for? Apparently that is what you wanted. If you want your gf, go be with her, get a job and your family will eventually adapt. If not, you continue on the path you chose letting your parents control your adult life and being alone and involved with your dying relatives.

>>737677376
>>737677231
I never thought about it that way

>>737665579
"Love does no Harm to a neighbor, therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."
Romans 13:10
"Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love does not fail. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues they will be stilled, where there is knowledge it will pass away."
1 Corinthians 13:5-8

Buddy, I'm not a Christian, but I've studied your book well and let me tell you something: Your God is Love. You are in love. For all things there is a season, a time to reap and a time to sow.
"When I was a child I delighted in childish things, and when I became a man I put childish things behind me."
Song of Solomon (paraphrased)
You don't answer to your parents anymore, you're a man in God's eyes. Answer only to yourself and your God. Break with those who would keep you prisoner. For a man may have faith that could move mountains, but if he has not love: he is nothing.

Obviously you're not happy with your choice and are here because of it. If being alone and controlled by your unreasonable and religious family is not making you happy and hurting someone you truly love then change it. You don't want to end up regretting losing her because she won't wait forever, only to care of people who will continue to control you into the future. Maybe supervise your phone activity and tell you you can't date or sleep with anyone at 21? 22?

>>737670970
Fucking this. I believe in God, but these assholes take things too far.

>>737678246
>>737677668
"Have you not read, that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male and female... For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?'" t. Jesus of Nazareth (Matthew 19:4-5; quoting from Genesis 1:27, 2:24)

Leave your Father, make her your wife, never look back. What city do you live in OP? I'm not a Christian, or a JW like you, but I am certain that I or a likeminded /b/rother would be willing to help you with anything.

>>737678846
>>737678912
This guy again.
OP
read Matthew 23, And tell me you can still stand behind the Watchtower.
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+23&version=NIV

op i know you are scared but if you let her go you are going to regret it the rest of your life, just do what you realy want to do and let the problems fix themselfs with the time (sorry for broken english)

>>737678912
You're a good friend anon
I'm an american, I live in Stockton California
I'm so lost, I'm trying to make this work but i don't know which choice is the right to make.

There is not necessarily a "right" choice. Do what makes you happy and will fulfill your life. Your adult life does not belong to your parents' wishes and that is why you feel so lost. If ditching her for a religion you don't believe in and soon to be deceased relatives is not making you happy then you will continue to regret it. Your parents will continue this and you will be alone and sexless into your twenties. If you truly love this girl then go be with her because right now you are hurting her immensely and unnecessarily. Your family will always be tied to you and you can reconcile with them in the future but she will move on.

Ill make an update in the future
I really need to think this through

My family has done some bad things to me but I still love them.
I love her too, I can't believe I had to choose between them, I wish there was a way to have both but there isn't.

I've been afraid because this is such a big decision to make, before I went from not being able to decide anything to deciding the rest of my life in an instant

This has messed with my mind so much for so long, all I do is dream about her and my family, I dream about memories we had, and I dream about being able to see and touch her.

But then I worry about my family if I left, they're cruel to me but I can't help but feel attached to them.

Either way I'm going to be feeling bad

I want to talk to her but I don't know what to say or anything, she got really upset with me, I know she Still loves me too but she might be fed up with it all.

I've been debating whether or not to leave and she always wanted an immediate answer.
She always got her hopes up but I always thought that I needed to stay here

I miss her so much.
Would God be mad at me if I left?
That's what I've been worried about too

I really wish I had a way to show you guys this is real, the only thing oh have to remember her by is some shirts she got me as a gift but they were way too big

I wish I could get my phone back, I have tons of pictures of her, I want to see them so bad.

I understand. I literally had to do the same thing.

You can't have both right now but family can be reconciled with in future, this girl cannot. It will hurt to leave them but you have to decide what will hurt more in the long run. You need to emotionally distance yourself from your parents, see them as the flawed adults they are. Doesn't mean you can't love them but letting them laud over your life as authority figures is unhealthy and will build lasting resentment. Change your perspective on them and gain some independence to give you space to make decisions that suit you and not them. They will also need to grow and accept you as an independent decision maker, and that will take time and be difficult for them but it will happen later if not sooner. You cannot look to them for support as you grow up because they will not help you.

My bestie is dating a 30 year old guy from a super religious family who has a career and his own place. When they wanted to move in together he called his religious mother to tell her his unmarried gf was moving in, and his mother cried for hours and had to be assured they were sleeping in separate rooms. This shit does not end.

Things with God get iffy. God wants you to be happy. Would He be accepting of your parents' cruel treatment of you and disregard for your feelings? Of you being unhappy for no real reason? Organized religion has a lot of issues. The main goal in life is to be a good person.

>>737683440
>the main goal in life is to be a good person

That hits me real deep
She loved me because she felt like I was the only genuine person in her life, and Italy be true.
I've only ever wanted to make her happy and nothing more.
All of this is because I've been trying to please everyone but I just can't.

I try my best to be good, I've spent years trying to better myself, to be nicer to everyone, to be positive.

I made things so good for her. I remember her yelling at me saying that I shouldn't just make her life so much better and just leave.

It shouldn't be this way it's too much.

I really appreciate all of you here with me

I've tried talking to my friends about it but no one has said much, no one was willing to help me.
My parents see I'm miserable and they tell me to just get over it.

I've been doing this all alone.
It was never my intention to hurt anyone.
I fell in love, it just happened.

>>737684096
Take a chance. You do not know what comes after death, if anything. Young love is hard, but I've known many people throughout the years who were high school sweethearts with a 40yr marriage. This girl will not wait forever, act now or risk hurting yourself. I plan on putting a bullet in my head on the 4th. I am a depressed druggy who didn't take the chances. I have never fet happiness and drugs are my false sense of happiness. If this is real I hope you make the choice that will make you happy in the longrun.

>>737669960
If a religion is keeping you away from someone that you love, is it really something worth being in?

If your family isn't going to support you because of a religion, then dude, you need to look at life and what you want out of it

>>737685017
Hey anon, Remember it gets better, Would you like to talk?

>>737685017
Not OP, I'm this guy
>>737678912
I'm not gonna be all "Don't do it Bro" or anything, but let me ask you something: Why did for nothing when you can live for something?
Better yet: Why die for nothing when you can DIE for something?
My point is: Do you have a goal you're passionate about? Want to do something dangerous or reckless but never had the gumption before? I reckon if I were gonna off myself I would spend all my cash on a plane ticket to the furthest middle Eastern country I could and go hunt for Isis, or go out into the woods with a knife and try to kill a large animal with my bare hands, or try to climb a mountain naked. Point is: Id do something so dangerous it HAS to kill me.

>>737665579
Oh hey that's my computer background

You have two options. Get her to join up, leave her, leave your family.

Honestly you should still be a Christian, but maybe not that type of Christian. In any case these are your only three real options.

>>737684096
Anon i really feel for you and know exactly what you are going through. I haven't been active for 10 years and my life has improved,leave your religion out of it and follow your heart. I'm not an apostate, i just want to say that Jehovah's witnesses have some of the best morals and attitudes but if following this religion hurts the person you are at your core...you need to reassess so things our lives are much to short to be unhappy for even one moment.
Jehovah gives us free will to either serve him or be destroyed like the wicked ones.....think about that. At some point you will displease him anyway. Do what makes you feel alive

>>737685427
Beyond that mate. Really no need. I have been hearing other voices in my head for the longest while. I truly believe they are my inner demons and drugs have connected me to them. I feel like I am being driven to complete madness. I have been thinking of killing myself for a while and have been getting rid of personal belongings the past few weeks. I am done with this world, hope to see you all on a brighter plain... If there even is such a thing.

>>737665579
Hey OP.
Used to be a nondenominational Christian, was brought up in it, and heavily participated in it up until around a year ago. Drama happened with the church elders and our super-nice pastor was essentially forced out and had to move. He was a woodworker, a handyman, a quiet guy, but he was really a good person, until some spiteful asshole convinced other old people to kick him to the curb.
That's when i decided church wasn't for me. If religion is still a strong aspect in your life, I'd encourage you to find other similar Abrahamic sects in your area, if possible. And like other Anons said, get a decent job, anything above minimum, and start making some funds.
As soon as you're on a "feed yourself and a little extra" budget, move out. Stay in contact with your family if possible, and contact your brother to lean on him for emotional support when needed. It sounds like you met someone special, and you'll regret it if you don't follow this lead.
Cautiously move forward, and make your own path in life

We just want to help. For myself, like I said I went through the exact same thing at 18 with my first real love. Some of those genuine connections can simply not be experienced again later in life, especially with modern dating.

I understand trying to please everyone, trying to follow other people's ideas for you to make them happy in hopes it will also make you happy. It doesn't work. Until you do things for yourself to fulfill your own life, then you find out who really cares because those people will support what you want and what you to do make yourself happy, not what they think is best and ostrasize you for not following their ideas.

>>737685427
Beyond that mate. Really no need. I have been hearing other voices in my head for the longest while. I truly believe they are my inner demons and drugs have connected me to them. I feel like I am being driven to complete madness. I have been thinking of killing myself for a while and have been getting rid of personal belongings the past few weeks. I am done with this world, hope to see you all on a brighter plain... If there even is such a thing.

>>737685707

>>737685955
I really need to talk to you anon

How did the change affect you?
Do you ever worry about what happens after death?
Or if Armageddon comes in our lifetime?
Did you ever experience things you were never allowed to?
Do you still get to see your loved ones?

>>737686256
I really hope that your soul rests, and rememeber, on your last day do something you enjoy that makes you happy. you never know what happens

>>737686357
Spot on anon

>>737685017
Hey man, instead of doing that, you should just take a nice hike. Climb a mountain or walk next to a stream. Try to remove yourself from normal surroundings. I'm not going to say it will help, but maybe some isolation from negative-connected areas can help clear your mind a bit.
Don't do anything too rash, okay? I'll be thinking of you.

>>737685955
Believing that your creator would hold you to a standard on penalty of death even he could not hold himself to is nonsensical.
God shows Wrath, he desolated The Israelites on multiple occasions for angering him.
God shows Jealousy, for is it not written "I am a Jealous God"
God Covets, for it is written:
"Covet not... Your neighbors wife."
And it has been said by the apostles that the church is as if man were wed through the bride-groom unto God. Yet God also demands we convert others into the church, thereby coveting the "wives" of other religions.
God Aided a Lier and Adulterer, and implied she had done his will when Rahab of Jericho lied to the men searching for Joshua.

God is fallible, man is made in his image, but Christ says this "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and all your mind."
"For God so Loved the world he gave his only begotten son."
He FORGIVES, your God is a GOD of Second Chances.
I believe he is real, I simply refuse to serve him, but he is a Wholesome God for the most part.

You shouldn't be asking advice from anyone here. You know who you should be listening to.
Asking here is asking advice from not only the world, but a morally bankrupt back alley of the world.
What kind of advice do you think you'll find here?
Not the kind that will benefit you.
This is the last place to get beneficial advice bro. Just the fact you are asking advice from here shows you don't even want to know the right way to go. Looks more like you're looking for justification to follow your fleshly desires. It never goes anyplace good.