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I went over to /diy/ but it's a slow as fuck board. How

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 65
Thread images: 7

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I went over to /diy/ but it's a slow as fuck board.

How do I dig a grave and bury a body? Do I just take a shovel to the dirt and start digging?
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Come on, I have to get this done tonight!
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Something something bury head first...with an animal above it
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>>737570348

Dig the hole ahead of time. When you have the body, you just want to throw it in and cover it up.
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>>737570348
Dig from the outside in if you want a uniform grave. otherwise just dig until satisfied.
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>>737570537
Too late for that.

>>737570656
>>737570518
Thanks, how deep should the body go? do I cover it a bit before I place the dead animal?
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>>737570348
Dig deep but on a slant, put head in deepest part inside a sleeping bag, but remove teeth and fingers, then add yogurt or something
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>>737570348
Fuck you.
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>>737570348
One thing about grave diggers... they take extreme pride in having very even straight sides to their holes. The guy in the OP pic has the right idea.

Grave diggers are attention whores who desperately want people to admire their holes.
The highest compliments are usually from ditch diggers who happen to be visiting the graveyard. The ditch diggers will stare in amazement at the quality of the grave digger's hole and say a few kind words. This goes a long way with the grave digger.
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>>737570767
Depends how big the body is. 4ft is always a safe bet, but 3 would suffice if it isn't too big.
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>>737570767
>Too late for that.

What about a water burial? Just make sure you puncture the lungs and slice open the intestines so the body does float back to the surface.
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>>737570348

If you're trying to dispose of a body... digging is the worst way dude.

First off... if you don't own the property. You're going to need to make sure it's property that won't be developed... like ever... which is hard. And furthermore, the deeper you'll want the grave.

If you own the property... well, now you have evidence linking it to you. That fucking sucks.

Dismemberment, and some sort of puration/liquifaction of it is best. Such as feeding it to animals whole eat it (pigs will eat limbs whole, cows and the sort will need to have it chopped up finely as they can't chew the bones). Of course acid is fucking awesome, but you need an appropriate container for it (think that episode of Breaking Bad). If all else fails... grind that shit up, and disperse around a large wet area with a lot of bio mass and activity (like a swamp).
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>>737571304
cont'd

You see... this is why our farm was the best.

Lived right on a swamp. 50 acres, 35 of which was all swamp land. AND we had back hoes.

Could bury anything back there... no one would find that shit ever. Hell, I've buried several horses out there, and you'd never fucking know.
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>>737571533
>50 acre farm
>35 of it is swamp

Sounds like a shitty farm bro.
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>>737571753

Depends on what you need the land for.

Sounds like a great farm for OP.
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>>737571753
This

What the fuck sort of farm was it? Mosquito ranch?
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>>737570348

ask the fbi when they swing by later tonight.
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>>737572580

A private farm.

We had cattle, pigs, horses, a veggies on the 15 acres.

And we hunted the 35 acres for various game.

If you don't know rural life in the hills... you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Not all farms are giant corn fields in Iowa ran by posh redneck wannabes with remote control combines.
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>>737571930
Fair enough, but even if it's a hobby farm for city people, they got taken for a ride.

Unless they really like duck hunting or something.
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>>737572779
cont'd

15 acres is a lot of fucking land, and can feed several big ass families.

The other 35 was just for fun/entertainment.
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>>737572779
>Cattle and horses on 15 acres
>Hunted in the swamp.
>If you don't know life in the hills.. blah blah blah

You don't live in the hills if you live in a swamp. Also nobody in America says "posh".

Also running cattle on 15 acres? So you kept them corralled all the time?
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>>737572793

City people.... lol.... fucking city people. I think you might be the city people.
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>>737572958

Well then you never lived in the hills.... you don't know how swamps form.

And how many cattle you think a family needs?

We had 10 head usually. And a handful of cows.

You probably keep thinking of a farm in like Montana or something. We didn't live in no fucking Montana.

Drive the northeast... 15 acres is a normal size for some cows and horses.
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>>737570348
dig 3 holes in strategic rural locations after you have the body go to the closest one if anything feels wrong move to the next
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>>737572958

And really, no one in America says posh?

Strange... I hear it said rather frequently.
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>>737571304
im taking a big risk in saying this but, find listings for brownsfield land
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>>737573320


Fuck you cunt
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>>737573320
Maybe it's because you're in New England?

Although I didn't hear it when I was stationed up there either, just a bunch of wannabe guidos and rednecks. At least the rednecks were bros.
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>>737570348
I work in construction, you're gonna need a shovel and pick axe. it's much harder to dig a hole than people think. break up as much of the ground as you can then remove it all with shovel then repeat process, i'd recommend chopping the body up first so you don't have to dig such a big hole, also recommend filling then hole with 1 or 2 bags of cement after you throw the body in
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>>737570895
it's an achievement digging a straight hole because it's so hard, so obviously they take pride in it
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>>737573386

So you're saying that I lived in shitty industrial land repurposed as farm land.

Sorry... nope. Grew up in the deep hillsides of New England on land in my family for 100's of years that they took from the Indians.

The share my immediate kin had was on the swampier side... and we didn't give no shit, cause it was fun.

We were hillbillies.

And you could find deer, bear, coyote and all sort in that swamp.

Hell... people would pay us to hunt on our property because there was so many deer.

If you never been to a New England hill swamp.... well, it's those spooky ass swamps that you picture in old New England ghost stories like the headless horseman.
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>>737573413

Yep, New England.

Not sure where in New England you were. But yes closer to the cities there's a bunch of wannabe rednecks.

In the hills there's just hillbillies.
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>>737573633
He wasn't even talking to you dude. Go back to your cranberry bog.
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>>737573465
forgot: use pick axe to break up ground, dig at least 4-5 feet, you don't want the body resurfacing or a dog digging it up
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>>737573894

He responded to my post.
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>>737573633
dont put words in my mouth homie
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>>737573894
second
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>>737570348
Knife
Sledgehammer
Bone saw or other tool
Shovel and pickaxe
>Okay, first, break major joints with hammer
>Now, use knife and saw to separate limbs from body, so you have torso and separate limbs
>Pulverize everything
>Put each chunk into separate garbage bag and bury individually, preferably in separate counties/states/whatever you have.
>Just put A LOT of space between.
>Dig hole, no less than 4 feet, then bury
>Plant grass on top
>Profit
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I dig pussy you dig cock.
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>>737570348
Most people use contractors. Just call the morgue to pick it up.
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>>737570348
>Go to a graveyard.
>Find already dug plot ready for a funeral in a few days.
>Get in and dig a little deeper.
>Put in body and cover
>Go back next day, watch burial. Kek as coffin covers your crime
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>>737570348
>how do I dig a hole? do I just dig a hole?

YES! YOU DIG A HOLE.
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>>737570348
Here's how you do on man. First cut the top soil, meaning peel up sections of grass under the roots with the shovel. Set that shit aside and try to keep it intact. Start digging. There's no secret to digging, it's just hard work and there's only one way to do it. Go about 4-5 feet. This ain't no state operation. Put what you're burring in the hole. Have 4 bags of concrete at the site. Get quickcrete so you can do a dry pour. Pour the dry mix in the hole and water after, mix right there in the hole. You're concreting in whatever you're burring, so form like a dome over the object. Fill in dirt. Replace cut grass pieces. In 2 weeks, the site will be like it never even happened. Oh yeah and set the dirt you dig up on a tarp. Cleaner and makes carrying away excess easy
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>>737575205
Used to dig graves for a living, always thought this would work. We never checked on the grave after we'd dug it until the coffin was in and time to bury it.
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/b/ why do you instill on scaring me with you sociopath ways...please tell me moar
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>>737575686
2 3 then 1 ? amirite ?
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>>737575205
Somebody likes watching Dexter
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Fuck the hole, here's a plan:

If you have a car that you don't care about much, and you live near niggers,

Put the body in the trunk, drive the car to the ghetto, leave it running on a street somewhere.

Exit via another car, or the means of your choosing--but don't let anything track you. Don't bring a phone. Be aware of where cameras might be.

Niggers take the car. Now the body is their problem.
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>>737575686
all at the same time dumbass
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>>737575205
wouldn't work unless if you could leave the grave looking exactly how it was before you started digging
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it has to go 6 foot deep, to cover the smell. Thats from animals. Your biggest concern is the grave being found and dug up by animals. You're going to need two different types of shovel. you'll need a round point and a sharp shooter (or drain spade). Use the sharp shooter to dig down, each complete submersion into the dirt gains 18 inches down, in a small patch. you can use your foot, or you can stab at the ground. stabbing is useful for harder dirt. Use the round point to clean out loose dirt to aid your progression.
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>>737575686
3, 1, 2.

[100 emoji]
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>>737575935
Which is why I do it in wooded or unpopulated areas
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>>737576142
And yes I can prove it
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>>737576198
prove it then
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>>737576198
oh shit, FBI you still looking for that missing person
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>>737576334
My latest victim
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>>737575879

that might work, or it might lead it right back to you. good idea though.
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>>737576142

which is why you dig into recently dug graves in wooded or unpopulated areas? doesn't make sense.
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Thanks to everyone in thread,

I only read like three replies before I panicked a bit, now I'm back and there are so many! Thank you!

I'll be diging in maybe 30 to 60 minutes, when I'm sure it's late enough for nobody to be there.
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>>737578165

pics
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>>737570348
Why dig one six foot hole when you could dig six one foot holes, that's just murder math.
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Keep us updated with pics pls!
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>>737570767
Minimum of 15 feet down, just in case, and bury a dead animal a few feet under the ground after you cover the body. Personally, i'd cut the body up and dump the parts around town in a way that looks like a smiley face on a map, but to each their own.
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>>737576115
1 has a yield sign so they should always go last
Thread posts: 65
Thread images: 7


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