You're at a bar. This woman walks in, sits down, looks at

Do you like Mudkipz?

>tips fedora

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>>737560477

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>>737560477
Nice dubs, like these?

>>737560477
You remind me of my mom.

If I finish twice is that extra?

make america great again

>>737560477
If I tell you you have a beautiful body will you hold it against me?

>>737560477
You little monster

>>737560477
Are you naked underneath your clothes?

>>737560477
Brad says 'hello'.

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your back fat is showing

>>737560477
I really liked you in My Name is Earl. Your depiction of white trash in juxtaposition to a woman that is also driven made me re-evaluate my life choices.

May I buy you a skinny martini, or perhaps a shot of schnapps?

>>737560477

I think I just came

>>737560477
hi baby check my trips

>>737560477
>look her in the eye
>look at her tits
>look back at her face
>look back at her tits
>one more glance at face
>look_of_utter_terror.bat
>turn barstool so you're facing away from her
>continue drinking

>>737560477

Good morrow, m'lady

>>737560870
i mean these trps

W-w-what? What do you want?!

Don't look st me. DONT LOOK AT MEEEEEE!!!

>>737560477
is that a bra or a shirt you're wearing?

"Hi you look cool"

>>737560477
my traps are bigger then yours
>(flexes neck and double chin to show off traps)

>>737560477
Nice boobs, may I suckle them? /tips fedora

>>737560477
Are your father a blacksmith? Because those titties are smoking.

>>737560477
D- do you know how to make tendies?

>>737560477
Whats up

>>737560477
I smirk at her as I approach. When I walk up to her, I ask "hehe y-you come here often hehe" with a self satisfied little smirk on my face. In my head I think this is a brilliantly sarcastic ice breaker. She on the other hand, is totally disgusted by what I said and also how much uglier I look close up.

>>737560477
Did you know your right eye is slightly more elevated than your right eye? Because it is. I figured I should tell you.

Fixing for some fucking?

that sit is taken!!

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>mfw talk to women

*I unzip my fanny pack*
Out comes the spaghetti

I use to date your mother when you had 12 years

>>737560477
Do you come often? I mean here?

>>737560477
Keeping eyes on her breasts, never look her in the eyes:
"you remind me of my mom when she was younger"

>>737560477
My IQ is 163, you are closer to a gibbon than you are to me. Having sex with you would be an act of bestiality but luckily for you I'm feeling like a dog tonight.
So what do you say, you want to be able to brag to your friends you got fucked into orbit by a rocket scientist?

> Actually works 8/10 times

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>>737560477
Shouldn't you be naked?

Did you know Star Wars is better than Star Trek? Let me explain....

>>737561288
Frenchfag detected, also obvious autist

>>737561251
reee
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What's so funny?

>>737560477
Anti-Racist is a Code Word for Anti-White, spread the word

OP--Can I smell your feet?

Her--No

OP--It must be your pussy.

https://youtu.be/SaxFyrw5JhM

>>737560477
Please state the nature of the medical emergency heh.

have you smeared yourself with sunscreen? I have some high quality sunscreen I can rub out on you

>>737560477
I'm looking for Dragonite have you seen one?

I'm a 4chan user

>>737560477
REEEEEEEEE

>>737560477
>make eye contact
>quickly look away and stare at my drink/phone/whatever
>anxiety swell sweat begins
>get check asap n leave hating myself

>>737560477
<turn around to see who she's smiling at>
<turn back and open my mouth, slack jawed, unable to speak>

Stare at her.

>>737560477
"God, I wish had tits like you."

>>737560477
Get off my baaaaaar REEEEEEEEE

>>737560477
Ha- have you ever solved Rubik's Cube in less than 2 minutes? My record is 1:38. Here let me show you

Hi, would you want to play D&D?

>>737560765
This

>>737561805
God, I wish I didn't have tits like you. I think it's my medication.

Y-you too

>>737560477
"Thanks you. I mean, thanks"

>>737560477
Black people are black, but they aren't people.

>>737560477
Are- are you a p-prostitute?

You might want to stay back. I can attack you life points directly.

>>737560477
If you mom made you some tendies and mashed potatoes, which would you finish first?

>>737560477
M'lady as I tip my trillby

>>737560477
Uh hey you want sum fuck?

>>737560477
"Bruh, I saw you on 4chan"

>>737560619

Nice

I loved your tits in Wolf of Wall Street

>>737560477
Suicide Squad was your best performance.

>>737560477
>Reeeee!
>Spill spaghetti
>Turn 360 degrees
>Naruto run out of there

>>737560477
Margo Robbie sits down next to me in a sawdust bar outside the town limits

>>737560477
tits or gtfo you know the rules

>>737560477
Do you support PRESIDENT Donald Trump?

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>image fagmiliar

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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>>737560477
Have you been redpilled yet?

>>737563457
203%?
>WAT
pls explain

>>737563589
200*
fuck, its tired im late

>>737560477

I would smile back and proceed to sit next to her. then I would say to her;

"u sucky suckyy, boom boom, me cocky cockyy, boom boom. me kumm kumm, boom boom chakalakalaka in youu"

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>>737563697
must be summer ...
now count whites and blacks 2 x 100%

>>737560477
>hey....do you have a light?

literally did this once

I'm blond too, wanna touch my hair?

>>737560477
I like your hat

>>737563957
pls see >>737563697

its 2am here and im fucked on codeine so brain not good

hey

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I LIEK TIDDIES! WANNA TOUCH YOU TIDDIES!

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>>737560477
do you post on /b/?

>>737560477

y-ou too

>>737560477

it depends what gender that person identifies as.

>>737560477
they shouldn't have canceled My Name is Earl.

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>>737564109
its all good, mb dude

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Why are you a discount Jaime Pressly?

>>737560477
did you just fall from heaven or was that me?

I loved you in "my name is Earl!"

>wwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

stare at her and offer a toothpick

>>737560477
I uh.. I noticed.. I noticed you. Hey! ..damn me. um... hehehe.. I'm Thomas!

>smile

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So ya like Jazz? Let's skip the small talk I need you, listen I have smash melee on gamecube and my mom doesn't know how to play games, you up for a little one on one?

>pretend to answer a call
>pretend it is something serious
>leave the bar with a forced serious face
>it's possible to see a little shit stain

she will never know i'm not able to talk to people
win

Spell Blumpkin

>>737561065
this but slightly altered:
Are you a father to a blacksmith? Because those titties are smoking.

I'd turn 360° and walk away

>>737562070
underrated post

>>737560896
That's prettt much what I would do, complete lack of confidence

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>>737560477
>Post the most autistic response.
Stopped reading right there.

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>Realize I have zero change of wooing this female
>Look for other females that are more in my league and are probably more down to earth that don't dress like whoreslop looking to get dicked like a cankerous whore
>Still find no one
>Go home fap to traps
>Kill myself

D-do you like Naruto?

>>737560477
Lets drain the swamp. MAGA

>>737560477
nice tits

Can i have the pussy please!?

>>737560477
So this pretty woman walks into a bar and smiles at some dude, and the dude tries to make a joke up on the spot and it doesn't go well at all so he just decides to drown his sorrows instead uh, I'll tell you the rest later, I need a fucking drink, it's been a long day.