How can I commit suicide and still let my family get my

walk into a ghetto filled with niggers

Crash your car in a way it could crash in an accident

>>737542978
not a bad idea, start yelling nigger or something like that, or just walk in front of a gang and start doing rival gang signs

>>737543102
Was thinking about crashing my car off of a draw bridge near me and making it look like there was something stuck on me pedal...only draw back would be it would be a fairly slow process

>>737542978
No nigs like me

>>737543104
They won't shoot a white guy for that they aren't dumb, their just different

>>737542884
Drug overdose?

>>737543674
Was thinking of that but I'm pretty sure if you're drunk or high life insurance won't pay out most of the time

Hey, ever wanted to take up a super dangerous hobby and drinking? well nows your chance. Try building an ultralight chopper like from the road warrior plenty of ways that thing cut lop your head off, or rock climbing. See the sights and be one with nature before doing a back dive off a shear face cliff

go skydiving then release the tether

>>737542884
Skydiving accident

>>737543759
Isn't that a fairly long process though? Was trying to get this done in the next month or so, pretty sure I won't be able to dive by myself in that time

>>737543741
Think if your drunk and doing something dangerous life insurance doesn't pay out, people who die from drunk driving aren't covered in the first year in most policies, I've only had mine for 10 months

>>737542884
find violent, homophobic psychopath. kiss him on the mouth. maybe take some blood thinners before hand. like 5 aspirin.

most people change their mind at the last second when commuting suicide so don't think sky diving is a good idea

Car accident would probably be the easiest. Just stalk red lights and try to catch someone running it. Preferably a tractor trailer so it causes a lawsuit as well.

>>737544050
Where do I find a homophobic psychopath?

>>737543846
pretty sure you just go and they tether you to an expert and you tandem jump. guess you have to figure out how to disconnect yourself from the other person

>>737542884
car crash

>>737544102

there's one in the white house, but access may be restricted. he has a fan club that is pretty ubiquitous though.

>>737544125
Won't they fight me though? Pretty sure at the last second I will regret it so need something that I can just trigger once and be stuck with the decision.

>>737544087
Was actually thinking car accident as well think that would be the best way, get in my car get to like 150 mph and pull the e-brake or something

>>737542884

Have your family call the cops saying you're suicidal.

99% chance they'll show up and shoot you to death. WIN

>Smoke 8 packs a day
>get cancer
>realize you wanted to live all along
>die anyway
>family buys new cars
>forgets about you

>>737544154
I actually don't mind Trump but that joke made me lol anon

>>737544255
If you're gonna do 150 don't pull the brake. Just cut the wheel hard. Of course that won't be considered an accident because you'll be at fault for reckless operation.

>>737544266
They don't do that I tried committing suicide 15 years ago when I was 21 and they just show up and try to convince you to sign a waiver so the ambulance can take you away....cops are good people I don't understand why everyone hates them now.

>>737543630
>They won't shoot a white guy for that they aren't dumb, their just different
Are you fucking stupid? They kill white people for no fucking reason all the goddamn time.

>>737542884
commit suicide.... learn how most life insurance works and not listen to what you've heard in a movie just get into a terrible car crash or drug OD

>>737544342
Well, that's why I said pull the e-brake, could be seen as an accident, could do it late at night so no one gets hurt and it doesn't eat up my life insurance sum

>>737544342

there are ways, but they will be painful and could take minutes, tens of minutes untill you die. are you willing to risk it? I will tell you if you are 100% commited.

>>737544102
how the fuck do i know? i'm not suicidal with life insurance.

Anything ypu cam accidently get killed with at work? Are there any tall bridges around? Any sort of dangerous hobbies you have?

>>737544478
I know how life insurance works, I worked for an insurance company for 5 years, suicides don't get paid out in the first year ever, after that they sometimes will depending on the state because the idea is that the insurance company should have known the person might be suicidal

>>737544530
I have an office job, so no

>>737544488
>checked

If I can't turn back then yes

It's easy just search up a place where there is a subway and a camera nearby and make it look like you accidently fell on the traintracks but be careful you would have to be an amazing actor only 1 chance in live
You make me sick cannot even think of an own way killing yourself kys

>>737544688
No subway for 800 miles from me, and I can guarantee you I would change my mind at the last second and jump off the tracks

>>737543630
are you retarded? this has to be bait, if you go to the ghetto they will kilkl you for saying nigger. i live in New orleans and theyll kill you just for being in the 9th ward if youre white.

>>737544819
It has to be something I can't change my mind about man, I've tried to do this before and I change my mind at the last minute because that is what we are wired for staying alive, even if it would work....think slamming into a wall at 150 mph is the best bet

File: 5 gum.jpg (1KB, 300x168px) Image search: [Google]

1KB, 300x168px

>>737544810
If you really want to die the fastest and most brutal accidental way possible than go and kick over a bag of rice in china

>>737544933
>checked

You have a gun?

>>737544933
Checked

>>737545049
I can't shoot myself my family won't get life insurance payout

OP here committing any criminal shit most likely won't work btw, drug overdose and suicide by cop definitely won't work, if I could livestream would do it of course but I couldn't because shows premeditation

>>737545103
Life insurance is worth 1M btw which is why I want to make sure they get it

>>737545224
Not me

>>737542884

go on a cruise, drink and make it look like you accidentally tripped overboard. you will drown, but it will be painfull. also no amount of money will ever replace you for your family.

Obviously none of you know anyone who's killed themself. Life insurance still pays on suicide as long as you've had the policy for 2 years. That's how it is in my state anyway. Check your policy.

>>737545103
Even if its accidental?

Pull out all your stuff to clean your gun and maybe even make plans with a friend. Tell them youre gonna clean your gun and then youll head out.

Then shoot yourself in the face.

File: sueskind.jpg (12KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 200x200px

>>737545103
Why kill yourself in the first place dumbass
GET CREATIVE
TIME
LOVE
COMPUTER
EAT HEALTHY
EPILOGUE

-Martin Luther King Jr.

>>737545398
Have only had the policy 10 months

Explained that here
>>737544592

rent some niggers on the street to visit your house at night and kill ya.

Say Dude what went wrong in your live to let you actually think about it

>>737545408
How could I make a gunshot wound look accidental though?

>>737545553
live
*LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IS BEATUIFUL FOR ASIANS

>>737545502
So wait a little longer. It's not much time for 1m dollars.

>>737545553
>so close to quads
I'm an alcoholic, I have early onset dementia and I won't be able to keep my job, I don't have enough money to support my family but if I killed myself I would give them a good run strip to figure out what to do

>>737545559
You take out the mag and leave one in the chamber. Maybe you text your friend that something is stuck or isnt working right. Then hold it up to your eye and shoot yourself. Looks like you were being a dumbass, but totally accidental.

However, i am compelled to say, what would benefit your family more you or the money?
You should talk with your SO about your feelings.

File: Zusammenheit.jpg (6KB, 183x275px) Image search: [Google]

6KB, 183x275px

>>737545713
Ok but go outside for a sec do everything what you've ever wanted in life then shortly before doing you know what I mean and seting your testament think about how our family would fell about your loss

>>737546030
Ohh wait sorry I meant your family

>>737545827
My family has a history of early onset dementia, started forgetting shit randomly like a year ago, now I just fake conversations and make shit up, in a few years I will be a vegetable and drain my family emotional and financially, had it happen with my mother don't want it to happen to them

Make it look like a homeinvasion , break a window forced entry ... throw away some exspensive stuff ,jewelry phone wallet and so on and then shoot urself

>>737546030
This isn't about feelings man, I'm going to become a vegetable that drains all the resources I worked for almost 4 decades to gather, in not going to do this to them

>>737546146
You're a retard, will trace the ballastic details back to my gun, cops aren't stupid

>>737543630
>No nigs like me

that's the point you fucking retard.

>>737546195
Do something for society man it ain't that difficult
about how you are thinking makes you a genius why because you're a bit psychopathic like most geniuses

Don't throw something like that away just for a small loan like most people
Money shoudn't be the main priority in life

>>737542884

hire couple of thugs to kill you and make it look like a robbery. for example you are withdrawing money from atm and they come, you put up a little fight and they shoot you. profit.

>>737546285
I used to be very smart, but I'm not anymore, trust me I'm losing my mind I saw it happen to my mother and father

>>737546245
So there isnt any chance a burglar can take your gun away ? Hold it likenyou got shot in the back of your head

Accidentally jump off a bridge

>>737542884
don't make suicide threads
get help

Everyone will eventually run out of time even your family

>>737546412
That's a pretty good idea actually, just need to make sure they don't get caught

>>737544052
yeah because dead people are able to talk about it afterwards

>>737546285
>>737546385

mongoloids.

>>737546431
Would be hard to predict how my gun lands when I did thought right?

>>737545103
Check your policy. The law in most states is that your family will get the pay out but have to wait 2 years after your death to cash out.

Make it look like an accident

>>737546520
I'm talking from experience of trying to kill myself and all the people who try to commit suicide and change their mind.

Get your gun, Go to a range, make it look like your gun jams, look down the barrel, Boom.

Look dude you should never lose your hope there has to be something that can help you
Medicine, an operation,
just tell me one thing before responding
How old are you?

>>737546578
My state is that after two years sometimes suicides get paid out but after 4-5 they always do, I've had mine for 10 months so doesn't apply

>>737546732
600 gorillion.

>>737546492

ye, they will get caught most likely. unless they move from the state and don't get their face recognized. they also could be some junkies who want to go to prison and they are willing to kill you for it. gotta have a good plan.

>>737546732
37
There isn't hope all the medications they prescribe just delay shit, I won't be able to keep a job like I have as I decline I don't want to burden my family with this shit

Drunk driving without a seat belt, take some fuckfaces out with you

>>737546794
Yeah dude just a couple hundred years more and the insurance money is yours

>>737546880
Drunk driving doesn't work

>>737546880
Naah it won't get him anywhere

Shoot yourself with 50BMG

There is a suicide raider, which allows to even cover suicide, but not all companies offer it.

>>737542884
Live stream a road trip! Then have a razor blade installed in the brake pad then wait to use your foot break until you hit fatal speeds.. or don't kill yourself honestly don't know why anyone does that. Just go have fun. If you have nothing to lose try skydiving or bull riding. Don't go out like a punk.

You know take some assholes out before dying
Someone who is causig only pure pain to others
Be an assasin or some other bullshit
I would fuck around with the remaining time I have

Just get a skill that makes more money, your family wins, you win.

>>737547267
I'm the poster above you and we are on the same page /b/ro

>>737547267
I already have banged finest traps in Bangkok

>>737547234
Yeah man make yourself a Legend even if you do the most gruesome things or most beatuiful
JUST DO IT
-Nike

>>737547356
He has 1 mil life insurance. I'm sure he has a fine job.

>>737547356
op do this

>get into car (sober)
>Go to a highway
>Make sure you're under the speed limit
>First corner you fail to brake and die in the crash

pro tip: put a bottle full of gasoline in the trunk to amplify the probabilities ofn the car blowing up to ensure you die

>>737542884
The Normal way
Drink Alcohol everday
Smoke
Eat Shit food.

>>737547500
Yeah does your family even need that money?

>>737547595
Kek

>>737544255
Loosen up your brakes

>>737542884
Life insurance pays out on suicide after 6 or 12 months in most states. That being said, don't kill yourself. Get a hobby, like rebuilding old cars, or parkour or something.

You know what I would do I would make some big inpact in the world I mean it actually isn't that hard
everyone is just too lazy to do something

set house on fire
take enough ambien, valium, oxycontin, or percocet to make you pass out.
>done.

>>737547726
Do it if you want NOBODY would care I mean what's even the point of living everyones names will be lost in the past

>>737547500
Checked
>>737547619

I'm 37 not 77, if I let myself linger could leave 100K+ dollars worth of medical bills a year to them, they get paid 3X my salary for life insurance I make a lot but my wife wouldn't be able to make enough with her skill sets to let my kids go to college and pay my medical bills

>>737547572
Nah ditch the 3d part as the last thing you need is making it look like it is intentional (why put the Gas in the trunk)

Yo dude you still alive?
Is the Thread even alive or did we already kill ourselves?

>>737547983
Pull a breaking bad

sabotage your bike brakes , drive in the forest where noone is and have an accident

Nah Nah don't damge your house truck I would climb on the mount everest and Jump off or some shit like that

Come up with some amazing cool shit
be creative

File: lifeisamess.jpg (86KB, 720x576px) Image search: [Google]

86KB, 720x576px

Guy who works at an insurance company here,

I can't speak for most companies, but we do actually pay out in the event of suicide, but the policy has to have been in force for more than three years. So, if you love your family, hang in for three years and then let her rip. These other people are dumb, because you can be doing reckless shit and the company will deliberately look for ways to not pay out based on your actions.

Just sit tight anon, then you can have your release and do right by your family.

>>737544266
This lol. Just take a bunch of LSD, get naked, and don't drop the dragon dildo when they tell you to.

>>737548122
>>737548166

Checked these are good ideas for the brakes I could just hire a black for like 30 bucks to cut my brake for Mount Everest would just be seen as an eccentric cunt trying to do something he is ill equipped for...Mount Everest would be a cool way to go too

Why do people even suggest ways Just don't do it
please man make me go off of 4chan without thinking about you

>>737542884
Nice tail

>>737542884
Realistically speaking. Develop a "hobby" of trecking trough the woods , make sure there are a lot of wild animals in the forrest .after six monthst give or take , get some insulin take one of your "hikes" go off the trail , not far enoush so no one will realistically find you and over dose on insulin .Peacefull passing , hard to track down in an autopsy .Also to be SURE you can get some tasty thing on the area where you shoot up .Also find a precription drug dealer , insulin is a prescription drug in most countries so unless you've got diabetes you won't have acces to a high enough dose to kill yourself .

>>737548298
Insurance is provided by the company I work for, I have early onset dementia so won't be able to keep my job for three years, why I am asking you fags for advice, lol

>>737548484
Thanks /b/ra

>>737548529

Check with your insurance provider then dude. You might already be covered and can just end it.

>>737545660
This, dumbfuck.

>>737548511
to clarify the "tasty thing" , that is so the animals that find you eat up that area first . peanut butter will work but you gotta be sure some animal will find you and eat your corpse before any human find you .Peanut butter on a needle mark looks kinda suspicious

What you want to do is get in a fatal accident involving a large corporation or government agency. They carry serious indemnity insurance for that kind of thing. Forget your life insurance, your family will get a massive payday out your demise then. Good on you not burdening them with your illness, I've been there with my family and its a terrible experience. Power to you OP.

Dude just let it happen life dangerous make high risky decisions wich you film with a go pro
37 is an age where you are the most flexible unless you are overwight :D

>>737548064
Unless the fucking grass is tall and you have a lawn mower which you just happen to need gas for i would not even attempt that.

>>737548856
God dammit can't write one word right
:')

>>737548783
Thanks, I dealt with my parents falling apart during my teens and I don't want my kids to go through that.

>>737548856
Wtf did you just say?

>>737542884

that is one hairy shit they are taking.

>>737542884
Pay a nigger to kill you inside your home
Break a window, make a mess, he will take any valuable stuff you have. It's perfect.

>>737548529
is that profesionaly diagnosed or is this just the "oh shit , im starting to forget things fuck i have alzheimer's" moments when you really are just stressed out and underslept ?

>>737549026
I know right, I'm here drunk as fuck planning suicide and I make more sense than this faggot

>>737543630
maybe bad spelling will kill you

>>737548783
>what you want to do is get in a fatal accident involving a large corporation or government agency
This my uncle almost died on his job but if he did his kids would have gotten potentially millions in payouts. A long time employee almost bleeds to death, gets put on meds and paid leave for a few weeks due to busting his head because the fucks were too lazy to get rid of the ice.

OP betta bust his head or even better not die and still get his payout.

Death by misadventure. Fall off a cliff, step in front of a fast moving semi (tractor trailer) while waving behind you at "someone", trip and fall over a handrail on top of tall building...tne options are endless. Plausible accidents. And DO NOT call your insurance company for anything. Read your policy instead. Calling then dying just a few days later will be a red flag.

>>737549102
Diagnosed, mother and father both had it

>>737549176
Dude has helped a lot of suicide victims over 4chan

>>737549147
I'm drunk, fuck off

>>737549179
so how much have you got before you become to sick to actually plan anything out ?

but they can track that you asked here how to kill yourself

>>737549176
Yeah but still thinking car accident is the best way, I will change my mind at the last second I'm not depressed I'm just trying to do this to avoid my family from suffering

I'm a VP at a software company in case you guys are wondering why I make so much

blow yourself up and make it look like it was a nearby Muslim

>>737549386
no no if he is intelligent enough he would destroy all trails or information that is connected with this thread basically he is preparing himself

>>737549603
yes insurance underwriters browsing /b/

fucking idiot

>>737549603
>>737549386

Insurance companies aren't going to look through 4chan, you over estimate the sophistication of these entities

Why not make a Cult and take some hundreds people with you like that one guy who killed 906 peope in africa

>>737549706
no insurance company that wanted to survive would insure Africans

>>737549660
Lmfao, yeah they would have to tie these posts to me then get 4chan to fork over the info to confirm it was me, doubt that would ever happen

>>737549660
Haha then I think deleting your browser history will do it

>>737549797
I cried

>>737549877
me too

>>737549844
Insurance companies don't have the authority to go through your browser history

>>737549933
>>737549877
Checked

>>737542884
mix pills with alcohol, make it seem like an accidental overdose

>>737549938
Also this thread will be gone by the time OP kills himself

>>737549938
Good one one less thing to do why not make a cross on your "to do" list

>>737542884
>be gay
>get aids
>????
>profit

>>737542884
>>737547726

Actually its 2 years

>>737550013
My body is too strong for this, I tired it before just ended up with a bad headache, don't want myself becoming a veggie would defeat the purpose

File: 41afb8d1703a1f2a723e638cb53be5ba--crazy-cat-lady-crazy-cats.jpg (46KB, 500x667px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 500x667px

How can I have sex with my wife?

>>737550111
>nice trips

>>737542884
Just spend alot of time in the nigger part of town.

>>737550144
Drink a stronger alcohol. Are you in the U.S.? If so, what state? I might be able to recommend something.

>>737550206
Insert your penis into her vagina?
Pretty simple anon, she doesn't have a choice, she's your wife.

>>737550111
ye what about become a cheap ass whore and get every std ever

fake erotic asphyxiation.. youll look like a total jackass but your family gets money

>>737550296
Florida
I drank 2 liters of vodka and took 20 percoets

>>737543940
You cant wait 2 more months? Even in suicide you are a fucking pussy.

>>737550126
this

>>737550354
I'll change my mind

>>737550421
Think I'm going to lose my job soon because I am not able to perform correctly, otherwise wouldn't be in a rush

>>737542884
do you have a small shed? carbon monoxide poisoning with a generator could work

suicide by cop

>>737550421
Yeah this guy is the biggest pussy ever only because life isn't going as planned he wants to kill himself if he is a real man he would stay alive and mind his own buisness why weven confronting other people with your problems dude I can see that you don't want to do it!

>>737550588
Checked

I'll change my mind, in not depressed man; this is just a logical thing I have to do to protect my family.

if commiting suicide, dont forget the livestream for the viewers

>>737550421
>>737550671

OP here: this is a samefag

>>737550749
I can't insurance company would find out obviously otherwise would do

>>737550297
You tell her that if you are that brave

>>737550412
Everclear. It's not legal to buy the 190 proof one in Florida, but it is in Georgia so you might be able to take a trip depending on your location in Florida. It'll taste like shit, but drink as much as you can as fast as you can. Alcohol poising isn't considered suicide.

>>737550783
Wow Newfag fucked up with the samefag detector

bungyjump without legstraps..

just get alcohol for the pharmacy and drink that pure or mix it with vodka, whatever you prefer

>>737550927
I'm going to Atlanta for DragonCon actually so could pick up some...that might be the best way...seriously thanks anon!

>>737551048
They'd be able to tell you committed suicide if you drink rubbing alcohol. Thus no life insurance for the family.

go to an amusement park ''acidentally'' fall from a high ride and let your family have even more by sueing the company

>>737550909
My wife lets me penetrate her so I don't have to tell her that

>>737551285
preferably disney.. sue the bastards

Dude I am leaving fuck this website it's pure cancer a 37 year old asking for advise to kill himself I am toooooooooooo young and tooooooooo bored to help you I still wish you the best of Luck
-GIANTREALISTICFLYINGTIGER

>>737551178
You're quite welcome, anon. 90% alcohol so it won't be easy to drink, but if you want to kill yourself and make it not look like a suicide it's the best way to go. Also, it'll be painless. Best of luck, OP.

>>737545323
Definitely not me

look, if its money youre after just make sure you have an ''accident in a big company so your family can sue them aswell

I am toooooooooooooooo young to think about a way for a 37 year old man to kill himself fuck this site fuck your plan fuck the money who cares you got me way toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored original fags best of luck

>>737551446
Seriously thanks, didn't even know about everclear, can wait till September to do it...wonder if any of these faggots are going to dragoncon tho

>>737551411
>>737551645
>>737551692
Samefag

File: 0a0aere03ghe4dd504a0tgt5a.jpg (144KB, 1440x919px) Image search: [Google]

144KB, 1440x919px

>>737551446
it's true?
Watches at $ 0?

>>737551897
Dude f'd up again Newfag will never be an original fag
>>737551645

look, while i think anyone should do whatever they want, this is kind of a.. look at me i want attention thread.
that being said, TF is wrong with you if you want to kill urself?
if its money, well fuck that shit i whent from money and happy with my ex to broke and happy with my current wife.
if its just life you have a problem with: GROW BALLS!!
not going into any sob stories but damn i bet i had it way worse than you

Carve a chunk of 2×4 to look like a glock. Rob banks. Keep robbing banks until the cops catch up with You, and then pull out your wooden piece of shit and aim at them. You won't know what hit you and suicide by cop isn't suicide.

>>737550783
>>737551897
Samefag

>>737552099
I cried while reading

>>737552088
I've been here since there was a bar on the left hand side of the site, duck off

>>737544125
this would be egoistic, no need to put the expert in emotional pain

drive your car into a bride support

>>737552099
Checked

I have a progressive illnesses I don't want to burden my family that is pretty much it, if I didn't have balls I wouldn't be where I am today, not a son story just not something I can normally brainstorm about in public

>>737544405
because most of them are pigs

>>737542884
hire a contract killer to shoot you

>>737552416

and ive been here since there were no computers, just bars to spout bullshit in

after you've had the policy for about 2 years+, you can just kill yourself and they'd still get it

>>737550687
what the fuck, do you want to get your family insurance money or not? no pain no game

>>737552998

money got people fucked up these days.. i learned to let go of it

>>737552804
I do want them to have it but I'm a human and if I fuck it up I'll get pushed into resigning

Go camping alone, bring a disposable BBQ, light it and cook something. Put the bbq in your tent, have a beer and relax. Carbon monoxide poisoning isn't unpleasant, looks like a clear accident.

>>737552998
My mother and father are both dead, I'm nobodies son

>>737553384
Good idea thanks anon

>>737553429
good

exactly what you deserve

>>737545055
>Checked

File: 1498874859591.gif (68KB, 800x792px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 800x792px

>>737546077
>>737546566
>>737546944
>>737547466
>>737547500
>>737548255
>>737548511
>>737549344
>>737549811
>>737549844
>>737549877
>>737549933
>>737550111
>>737550144
>>737550588
>>737551411
>>737552088
>>737552099
>Checked

>>737542884
Wait until 2 years after you got the policy and it won't matter how you die, even suicide.
Licensed Insurancefag here

File: CARLOS.jpg (35KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

35KB, 600x600px

>>737542884
Get a job