i am a hollywood screenwriter. i have worked on films you've

The line "here comes DAT BOI"

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A man responds to a striptease with the line "You wake my snake" while unzipping his pants

come on dubs, i have writer's block

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>>737163544
Expose the jews

A couple has a quickie at Auschwitz

Somewhere someone says the line.
"Poo poo in the spaghetti, everybody upsetti"

>>737165407
expose what? hollywood was started by jews and everyone in the world knows that. what the fuck would you expose?

>>737165626
One more roll for poo poo

A man accidentally sends a dick pic to his mother and her response is to send him back a picture of her horrible naked body.

Someone cuts an evil looking tree down but it hits their roof and cracks the roof. Evil squirrels move in the attic before the hole gets closed up and terrorizes the family inside

>>737165933
nice

>>737165933
this is going in. if you've ever seen Airplane you know the power of background dialogue

>>737165626
>>737165933
WINRAR

>>737165753
>Jewish ritual sacrifice
>the protocols of zionism
>Jews run the fed
Have your pick.

>>737165999
yes. tried before but will include this in my screenplay

>>737166007
Rollin for this

>>737166095
none of these are real things though.

>>737166135
One more

>>737166007
And anotha one

jewd appatow is a faggot cuck

you should have his daughter toss your salad imo

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>>737165626
The jester is pleased

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This picture, doesn't have to be important.

>>737166357
This

>>737166357
god i hope someone rolls dubs for this. it could be important

>>737166357
Roll

>>737163544
Include baneposting

>>737166357
Rolling

>>737166239
dubs is the last 2 numbers retard, not any 2 numbers that happen to be the same

>>737166357
Rollio in me holeio

The line "I'm not gay but $20 is $20, you know what I'm saying"

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>>73716354
This is now a spiderman thread

>>737166357
Rill

>>737166357
Ròl

>>737166357

a clothes line with only barbie doll and gi joe clothes hanging on it

>>737166357
This'm

>>737166357
.

Spin on!

>>737166860
Roll

>>737166357
Rolling a-fucking-gain

>>737166860
Rolling

>>737166357
Roll

a greasy, fat, nerdy white guy with a tiny dick sits hunched over his computer in a damp basement and posts a picture of an average white girl with a black man on an internet forum with the caption "how can you white boys compete?"

he then opens window after window and posts the same thing repeatedly whilst typing replies to his own posts and fondling his tiny, limp cock

>>737166357
Rolling

>>737166357
This

HOLY FUCK SOMEONE PLEASE PUT ERNEST P WORRELL IN THIS MOVIE

>>737166860
Last

>>737166357
Sexy roll

>>737166357
Sexier roll

>>737163544
Crowdsourcing your screenplays now?

>>737166357
Sexiest roll

>>737166518
I know that, I'm rerolling, idiot

guy does a really big stinky shit and when he takes a look at it he can see an islamic prophet with corn for eyes

good luck

>>737163544
A scene where two retarded midgets fist each other in a pool of peanut butter. Make this happen bro.

This isnt the character talking. This is me, the screenwriter, and I wrote this screenplay to say this: the age of consent should be 12.

>>737166357
^

>>737163544
Run a five-minute clip from a David Irving speech.

>>737166553
Roll

the line "i'm a vegan, you idiot. that includes blowjobs"

>>737166357
R O L L I N G

>>737163544
Hitler did nothing wrong.

>>737166357
lloR

The line "Pakistanis actually steal and lie a whole lot more than Jews"

5 minutes uncut, unaltered news footage of 9/11

>>737166357
Rollin

>>737165407
Rolling for this

>>737163544
make a story about gangslords competing for butthash territory sales

>>737166357
.
.
.
.

.
.
.


,
.
.
.

>>737167500
thank fuck for you. this thread is barren with dubs

>>737167500
Check'm

The following exchange:

"Not a lot of people know this about Nero, but he kicked his pregnant wife to death, cut off his friends balls, gave him his dead wifes name and married him."

"At least he wasn't a Paki"

>>737167560
You're welcome papa anon/possibly OP

>>737167216
Rollin

>>737167633
it was OP

>>737167633
HOLY FUCK, A GOD IS AMONG US

someone in a reddit tshirt saying "omg, i love the big bang theory, it's so funny!"

a dead baby zombie biting off a tit

>>737166553
kek, rolling

>>737166553
dubs

>>737167795
no dubs, but i am fapping to this idea right now. has all my favorite elements
.
.
.
.
ded babies and zombification

>>737167874
You must be new here >>737167850

>>737167934
>>737167874
You must be new here >>737167850

Great Scott nigga this pudding pops!

>>737166553
lol this

>>737166553
reroll

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>>737167992
>>737167992
>>737167992
>>737167992

>>737166553
roll

>>737166553
i am OP and I suck dick, also roll for this bullshit

"do you like the beach boys?"
"no but i like the beach girls"
"i never heard of them"
"i'm saying i like the girls... on the beach"
"the beach boys are a band"
"i know that"
"then i..."
"i'm saying i like hot girls in swimsuits you dumb fuck"
"why do you have to bring sex in to everything?"
"i didn't bring sex in to it i brought admiration of the human form in to it... it's more art than anything..."
"so do you wanna see a dick on the beach too?"
"no i don't wanna see a dick"
"a dick is human. a dick is admirable. a dick is art"
"i don't wanna see a dick"
"what are you a homophobe or something?"
"no i'm not a homophobe. i can appreciate a dick. as long as it's my own dick and it's in the vicinity of a woman"
"some women have dicks"
"..."
"they have feminine penis"
"what the fuck are you talking about?"
"you know... feminine penis... i've seen it on 9gag"
"feminine dick? girls with dicks? i don't..."
"look man, it was on 9gag..."

Have Mark Rufflo waking up with a hulk poster by his bed. Little did he know Danny Devito would be standing there with a pistol in hand ready to eliminate the man himself. Rufflo throws him off and then prepares to hulk up. But in the back ground you see Bob Sagot with a needle and stabs him.

>>737165933
>>737165999
>>737167500
>>737168122
All dubs (That are requests) so far

there has to be a sex scene, and when the guy finishes he has to say "I just spagoodled"

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

>>737168469
While Gilbert Gottfrried is masterbating to that

>>737163835
Rolling for this

"so little girl, what do you want for christmas this year?"
"i want my mommy to come back soon, santa"
"ho ho ho, and where is your mommy right now sweetie?"
"don't you know santa? i thought you knew all the secrets!"
"ahh well now, sometimes santa forgets a few things about grown ups because he has to remember so many things about all the children and whether they've been naughty or nice"
"oh i see santa. it must be hard to remember all of that. well, mommy is in heaven"
"oh right. i'm not sure if i have enough power to bring people back from heaven..."
*girl starts to cry*
"...but I do have one of these..."
*santa hands girl fidget spinner*
"oh my gosh santa!! is this really for me?!!"
"yes honey, it's all yours"
"wow, it's fucking nothing and my mom is still dead. do i look autistic to you?"

>>737168689
this please if trips include praise kek

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKf_Zho6f54
That, no fucking clue how

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>>737168468
>>737169171

>>737169221
This

"no man, i'm telling you... starbucks got its name from the butthole of a deer"

>>737169221
That

idc how you do it, but break the fourth wall, and include this thread.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, FOR ONCE OP MIGHT ACTUALLY NOT BE BAIT AND NO ONE GETS DUBS

>>737163544
How will we know which movie it is, will we just have to compile a list and watch every movie to come out within the next year

>>737169719
more difficult things have been done.

A character in the movie randomly stops mid way through a tense plot relevant scene, turns to the camera, stares the audience right in the eyes and just says

"Stop watching me, no, seriously."
He then proceeds to berate the audience, the world seemingly pausing around him to allow him to do it

Follow this with a 5-10 minute tirade of the character berating the audience for watching his life and how it's creepy until he's basically having a breakdown. Think of Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka's style of unhinged anger such as in the chocolate river scene.

The aim is to make the audience feel uncomfortable and unwelcome, to the degree where people would consider leaving the cinema at the behest of this fictional character's apoplectic rage.

At the end of this have the film resume as though it never happened.

>>737169858
reroll

>>737169858
reroll2

>>737169858
Holy shit this

>>737169858
reroll3

One charcter who only nicknames people pronouns for dad
EX:
Papa
Papi
Dad (Daddy is too fucking stupid even for this)
Padre
Paps
Pops
And Pap

A woman dumps a weak, beta male because he tells her how much he hates Trump, thinking it would score him points, but she's a die-hard Trump supporter.

>>737170083
Rolling

>>737169858
This actually sounds good in a weird way

*guy in tight leather shorts walks in to pharmacy*
"do you have any AIDS patches?"
"AIDS patches?"
"yeah, you know, like nicotine patches but for AIDS"
"to prevent AIDS?"
"yeah to stop it, or something like that. do they make those?"
"no sir"
"well what do you have to stop AIDS?"
"well sir the only real prevention is to use extra safe condoms and..."
"no not prevent but like, what's the other one... when you already have it"
"cure? you want to cure AIDS?"
"yeah I need to cure it"
"sir, you can't cure AIDS"
"can I get a second opinion?"
"I don't know what you mean"
"let me talk to the manager honey"
"I am the manager, sir"
"well the only thing you've managed to do today is misinform me, sugar"
"everything that I've told you is true"
"you're just gonna stand there and keep telling me that you can't cure AIDS?"
"yes"
"oh"

*text appears on screen*

ALWAYS USE A CONDOM WHEN FUCKING A MAN IN THE ASS

>>737163544
Use both

"Do a flip, faggot!"

And an orthodox jewish woman saying "Hitler did nothing wrong".

>>737169858
Reroll4

>>737169858
Reroll5

>>737169858
Reroll6 (sorry for being a faggot i just wanna see this in a movie)

We found the new messiah
>>737170147

>>737169858
Reroll7

Screenwriter has writer's block so he decides to go on 4chan to find lame ass ideas

>>737169858
Reroll8 god this is boring

>>737169858
Reroll9 Kill me

"i saw it in a beeblefox video"

>>737170112
Roll

merry christmas ya filthy animorph

Throw me in the trash, I'm a terrible woman

>>737170399
99 on reroll 9

The main character goes to the grocery store every day and buys exactly 1 bag of pork rinds. It's explicit what the character is doing, but never explained in the movie and no other characters notice or comment. A couple of important scenes or conversations happen while the character is buying pork rinds, but it is simply never addressed in any way.

>>737170147
I'd think a better end would be
>Starts from the person asking for the manager
>Manger walks in
"I thought you told me there are patches that cure aids"
>Manager panics
"Uh, I don't know you sir"
"Yeah you do, you're that guy who didn't have aids anymore"
>Ends with same caption

>>737170831
LOL. Love this. Reroll ffs.

>>737170831
This. It's small enough to sort of notice but not really care about.

>>737170856
Rolling

>>737170831
reroll

>>737170831
Roll. Kek

>>737170831
This is gonna be a weird ass film man, I'm excited
Reroll

>>737170831
I'm pretty sure this thread is bait, but if its not, please include this dear god.

>>737170831
Must see this. Roll

>>737170831
Maybe like ONE weird look from someone but otherwise not mentioned

>>737170831
Are pork rinds what Americans call crackling?
Anyway, reroll to add to the other bizarre shit already in there.

>>737171388
winrar

>>737171388
Yeay winrar. This was my post. GG

Pork Rinds are fried pigskin chips.

>Opens bedroom door
>Charcter walks in on anyone of relation the them having gay anal sex
>Zooms into face
>Sweat rolls down thinking face
>Says with a gleeful smile
"Looks like you two are practicing for your prostate exams"
>Awkward laugh
>Shuts door

>>737171668
Roll

Eliza dushkus titties

>>737171668
lol
I dont know why but this made me laugh
Reroll

Kristen bell and dax Shepard seem to have such a great relationship because he's gay.

>>737171777
I look forward to this movie.
Will watch.
10/10
3D Imax

>>737171777
I like to imagine that in the screenplay it will just have
*Eliza duskhu's titties*
As a stage direction

>>737172177
Those are dubs. This must go in.

And I would read that screenplay

>>737165626
Fucking kek.

"If she's old enough to pee, she's old enough for me!"

"hey, if you had the power to be invisible, what would you do?"
"i'd go surfing"
"yeah but you're invisible. i mean like, if you could go anywhere and do anything without anyone seeing you..."
"yeah, i'd go surfing"
"to see hot surfer chicks squeezing in and out of their wetsuits right?"
"no man, to catch the big kahuna"
"is that a fish?"
"no it's a wave"
"like surfer lingo?"
"yeah man"
"I'd go in to the girls locker room at the high school and watch all the girls stripping off their..."
"dude!"
"what? it's a normal fantasy. it's just a fantasy. like what you'd do if you won the lottery and what you'd do if you could read minds or stop time, it's not actual real life"
"that's messed up man"
"just focus here, i know at least a part of you is normal and has fantasies. you're invisible. you can do anything. nobody can see you. what do you do?"
"i'd go... i mean... fine i guess... i'd go to the aquarium when no one was around"
"you don't have to go when nobody is around... you're invisible"
"alright, so i'd go to the aquarium when it was open"
"and...?"
"like fuck a dolphin or something"
"what the fuck?"
"i don't know man, you said it was a fantasy and not real"
"yeah, but I didn't mean fuck a fish"
"they're not fish man they're mammals, like humans and monkeys and stuff"
"whatever, how do you even fuck a fish? how was that even going to work in your head?"
"dolphins have pussies bro"
"what? no they don't"
"they fucking do man, i've seen it"
"you've seen a fish cunt?"
"on the internet... and at seaworld"
"what are you searching online that you're finding dolphin nudes, jesus... and WHAT?"
"what?"
"seaworld?"
"can we just forget this. i said i'd go surfing"
"you said you wanna fuck a fucking tuna sandwich ingredient"
"dolphins aren't in all tuna ok, some is dolphin friendly. like john west"

caption on screen: JOHN WEST TUNA. DOLPHIN FRIENDLY FOR 50 YEARS.

"Ay bitch, you wanna(Specifically pronounced wah nu ) suck on me peepee?

What do you think Wesley Crusher would have done if Picard had ordered him to suck his cock? Who could he talk to? They're light years away from any cops, and the captain is the law on the ship. Think of the trauma! He'd have nightmares about Picard's uncut monster for the rest of his life!

>>737172422
Fuck yes. Looking forward to hearing this

>>737172493
Reroll

If OP is a fag and doesn't write this screenplay I might have to try myself

>>737163544
How's your summer break goin so far, champ? Ready for 9th grade?

>>737170314
this

The song "Coconut" by Harry Nilsson
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5LxC3M-Yngs

>>737172674
Go watch Rules of Attraction and shut up

>>737173056
Just realized I put a shitty video sung by someone else
Real version: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Tbgv8PkO9eo

>>737173288

>>737163544

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>>737166564

>>737174295
Spidermanning a dead thread, and doing a weak as piss job at it at that.

At least I'll never be this worthless

>>737174555
The trips agrees

>>737173288