/b/ help! I was using my dad's computer, the battery died,

Shouldn't have deleted system 32 you dumb cuck

call HP support faggot. We're not your personal tech team

>>737070452
Op is a techfag

>>737070452
try putting the pc in the microwave it should fix the battery if its to cold, (ITfag here)

>>737071068
oh and btw for atleast 5min.

>>737070452
pretend nothing happened and that it was like that when you walk in.

>>737070452
sometimes if you unplug the cmos battery and let it sit for a few mins unplugged and then plug everything back in it works.

>>737070452
How are you even on here?

>>737071949
This is confirmed to work in most cases.

>>737071976
im on my phone

>>737071110
can somebody verify this isnt a troll?

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>>737072444
Okay

>>737072500
please somebody HURRY UP! my dad is gonna kill me

>>737073213
remove the battery put back in

>>737073290
This but hold the power button for 30 seconds after you remove the battery

Remove batery, unplug power cord, Press and hold power button for two minutes, connect power cord but bo battery, check. If ok, power off, battery in.

>>737073213
post results

>>737070452
Put a magnet on it, north side on the battery and south side on the hard drive. Gently slide the south side back and forth, it will pull the power through the system as if it were completing a circut.

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>>737072444
>>737072500

digits confirm.

anonymous leet haxor squad assemble, we must save this kids computer

>>737072500
It's real, the same thing happen to me and my sisters computer. It's surprising when you think that people doubt this, it makes so much sense

>>737073706
If you value the computer do not do this.

>>737073533
it started up but now it's just a black screen with a blinking white line

What were you looking at that you're so terrified of him seeing if he fixes it

>>737073912
Can you see the hp logo when you boot it up. Can you get to the bios?

>>737073933
nothing but im not allowed to use it

>>737073912
Blinking White might be OS. let it run.

>>737073912
Is it like a download bar?

>>737073867
Get the fuck out faggot

>>737073974
Yeah, it does some loading stuff then does thr blank screen thin

How old are you OP? Just get some balls and face your destiny.

>>737074336
wait whos the troll here what do i do

>>737074447
this is so fake.....

>>737074508
Agreed

A blinking cursor is NORMALLY a fucked board. If the drive was fucked it would say so, if the machine powers on, and you see the post screen, and then just a flashing cursor, you are fucked.

And I'm not trolling.

>>737074447
If you do it my way post pictures before you do it so I can make sure you dont fuck it up.

>>737074746
WHAT??!?! I CANNOT BE FUCKED I NEED THIS TO FUCKING WORK

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Odds of us helping this anon before his dad gets home is 1000000:1

>>737074908
For the love of god don't do the magnet op

>>737074908
If the battery is removable, you can try unplugging it, and removing the battery for a minute, and powering it on without the battery while plugged in. But even if the problem was the battery, that shouldn't prevent the system from booting.

You can attempt to locate the CMOS battery and reset, it but that would require opening the case, and removing a ton of shit, like the keyboard. Which I'm guessing you'd just fuck up.

Just leave it and let your dad find it and either play dumb, or don't be a piece of shit and tell him what happened. It's just a computer.

Computers randomly die all the time. If your dad doesn't understand that and gets mad at you then you need to get a less shitty dad. Unless of course you did something to intentionally break it. Then you will probably get molested.

Besides, what kind of pathetic man can't fix a computer?

>>737075119
This

>>737070452
I hope your dad beats you, OP

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Next time you go onto the internet try this.

>>737070452
It's an HP, that's what they do.

Outside removing battery and holding power for a few seconds, it sounds like it might be either a bad power supply or a bad connection to the ps at some point. Nothing that you'll be able to fix

>>737075464
FUCKING NO! I NEED TO FIX THIS SHIT! HOW DO I FIX IT?

>>737075357
Lol what even is that?

>>737075516
blame it on a power surge and take it to a tech

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>OP

>>737075569
A condom and a RJ-11 for when dial up was a thing.

>>737070452
You have to demagnetize the battery. Take a large magnet and run it across the bottom of the laptop, left to right.

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>>737075569

>>737075645
No don't do that the tech will rat you out. Bury it outside instead and make it seem like you were robbed.

>>737075516
Just order a new charger and battery off amazon. You'll be fine.

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>>737075689

>>737075516
Real IT fag here, you bricked the laptop so well... you're fucked op.

>>737074447
magnetfag is the troll, you'll brick the computer if you do that. Unless by the grace of nonexistent god it has a solid state drive, the magnet would erase it.

>>737070452
say niggers stole it then tongued your anus

Did you try Ctrl Alt Delete?

>>737075884
THIS!

>>737075814
a fucked power supply or shorted battery is not the same as a bricked system. Fucking poser. The important question here is, when the notebook was plugged back in, was there a spark? If so, you probably shorted the battery, in which case a replacement battery would be an easy fix. Don't have any advice for avoiding trouble though.

>>737075569

>Lol what even is that?

kids these days...

>>737075860
your actually a downy, magnets dont effect computers. electromagnets do.

>>737075754
This seems reasonable.

Say you left it in your car unlocked.

>>737075989
Didnt know catching fish was this eazy

>>737075989
and this IS coming from a REAL IT guy who deals with this kind of shit from idiot old people on a daily basis. That and the occasional "you screwed up my computer! It won't turn on!" "Did you plug it in?" "....oh"

>>737073867
fuck off bitch

>>737075989
no i didnt see a spark, what do i FUCKING DO

>>737076186
op explain the situation properly, how is the laptop at the moment ? Does it turn on ? What is on the screen and where ?

>>737075569
uhh dude?

>>737076186
PICS!!!

>>737076027
The magnet won't affect 90% of the motherboard, but it can damage things in the screen (even on LED and LCD displays) and will completely misalign the magnetic crystals in the hard drive's platters. Also, learn to science, the only difference between a permanent magnet and an electromagnet is PM has its magnetism "naturally" whereas the electromagnet has temporary magnetism while current runs through coils around a core. Magnetism is magnetism faggot. Worst case scenario, it bricks the system. Best case scenario, it causes enough damage to the hard drive that it would have so many bad sectors it would be rendered useless.

>>737076348
i ALREADY SAID its a black screen with a blinking white line

>>737076186
if there was no spark, try removing the battery and seeing if it'll boot up just by being plugged in. If it works, it's probably a problem with the battery, if it doesn't, you might have fried the motherboard.

>>737076511
Take a picture while the line is on the screen

>>737070452
After you get it turned back on, you're going to want to delete system 32.

>>737076542
ginne a sec

>>737076443
This is all theory, you idiot. Research has been done to show the two have different properties as far as force and effect go.

>>737076542
it didnt work ZehWHY THE FUCKING FUCK WONT IT SHITTING WORK!!!

>>737076964
Send pic so we can see better. I was never good at doing this job over a phone.

Try a different outlet. You probably tripped a breaker.

>>737077246
okay gimma a sec

>>737076964

when in doubt
drink bleach and delete system 32

>>737077246
WHY THE FUCK DIDNT THAT WORK! WHAT DO I FUCKING DO TO FIX IT

why are people still talking about the power/battery/outlet?

the laptop is on and has a blinking white line, he said

>>737077544
nice dubs. I recommend the magnet fix. It's sorta our only option

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>>737077529
Show a pic of screen.

>>737077623
is the magnet a bad idea it seems like my ONLY IDEA BECAUSE ITS FUCKING BROKEN

>>737077896
It worked on my laptop

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>>737077896
Yes go ahead and do it.

>>737077529
real talk here, shits broken. I cant help you because I dont have a laptop. Here is a link to a similar scenario

http://www.techsupportforum.com/forums/f108/solved-black-screen-with-flashing-line-at-top-left-corner-570699.html

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>>737077811

>>737078044
i'll do it as a last resort. will a fridge magnet work?

>>737078488
magnet now before it's too late

>>737078488

turn it off then back on again

>>737078488
Might be Graphics card or drivers.

>>737078575
It usually has to be a powerful magnet to completely fuck up the HDD, but Im almost positive a fridge magnet will do >something

>>737070452
Simple fix, put it exactly how you found it and deny everything

>>737078665
stop trolling and help me fix i with the FUCKING MAGNET YOU SHITTING BAITER

>>737078575
Go ahead do the magnet right now you need a miracle.

>>737078575
Yeah, as long as it's big and strong enough.

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>>737078764

>>737078851
okay i have the magnet what do i do

>>737078764
get out you penis magnet and glide it back and forth directly on your HDD. This will fuck over the data stored on it. I hope your magnets are strong enough

>>737079072
where's the hdd? is that the bottom part to thr computer

>>737078979
put the magnet in the microwave, it sounds crazy, I know but you have to heat it up first

>>737079192
okay but how long

>>737070452
Did it die during an update? If so, you may be fucked

>>737079139
Ignore the troll. Magnets and microwaves are bad for computers.
Keep magnets away from any data storage. And don't rub magnets on them, especially in 1 direction.

If the system doesn't even attempt to boot from the drive (which it isn't) the machine is useless. It is almost certainly a friend board. Any other component would not cause the system to fail to attempt to connect to the boot device. You'd at least see a message.

If this thread is, in fact, a real situation, there is nothing you can do. And replacing a board in a piece of shit HP is more expensive than just buying a new one.

>>737079593
fried board*

>>737079327 5 minutes. Wrap it in paper. DON'T TURN IT OFF BEFORE THE FIVE MINUTES IS OVER, NO MATTER WHAT

>>737079591
You fucking nigger, stop trolling this poor guy.

>>737079686
Okay i'm putting it in now

>>737079837
ok you a actually a troll if you dont know where the hdd is fuck off cunt

i think the smoke alarm is going off one second

>>737080003
OH FUCK IT'S ALL ON FIRE BRB

>>737080131
Funny

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Shit i think op might be dead guys

OP is trolling us

>>737080573
obviously who would type oh shit there is a fire.

>>737080573
But i had my suspicions when i posted this.
>>737073094

>>737080675
Just gonna wait this thing out till it gets pruned or if op hangs himself

>>737079642
fried bird*

>>737080935
Free Bird

hey im back. i called firefighters they put out the fire and they called my dad. i wanted to let you guys know everything is okay

>>737081529
Worst story book ending EVAR!

>>737081529
my dads gonna kill me when he finds out why i did this. i can call this a goodbye 4chan

OH YEAH ALSO FUCK YOU PEOPLE WHO DID THIS! YOU MADE ME BURN MY HOUSE!

>>737081529
proof?

>>737081477
Free Beer?

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>>737081992

>>737081973
Op is a summerfag confirmed

>>737082174
commitment to this hoax

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>>737081529
EPIC THREAD SOMEONE SCREENCAP THIS

>>737082261
SECONDED. SOMEBODY FUCKING ARCHIVE OR SCREENCAP AND POST ON TINYPIC OR SMTH

>>737082261
newfag here, how do i get this all in one pic without photoshoo

>>737082416
Gimp, ms paint, anything

FUCK YOU ALL! THIS ISN'T FUNNY! YOU BURNED DOWN MY FUCKING HOUSE

>>737082511
on mobile, can somebody else do it? this is legendary as fuck

please keep bumping this until we can find an archive or screencap

http://oi64.tinypic.com/sx0qrm.jpg
Here you go faggots

>>737082986
anon this is unreadable. can you post a high wuality version anywhere else?
try imgur

>>737083291
http://imgur.com/a/DVK2v

>>737083464
where do you live i need to suck your dick

>>737073213
let me tell you microwaving the battery wont help it will blow it up just fucking google it

>>737083735
Thread's dead. Just like OP when his dad gets home.