found a baby raccoon in my backyard he's stumbling and

i thinm hes rabid bro

>>736908428
this lol

>>736908074
The kindest thing to do would be to put it out of it's misery.

the kekest thing would be to punt it

>>736908074
He's got rabies

>>736908074
looks like starving bra

>>736908074
Space program

>>736908074
He's probably dehydrated. Hold him and pet him while you bring him to some running water.

>>736908074
Raccoons make great pets, but be careful because he may not trust you yet

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if I feed him is he gonna keep coming back like a seagull or something

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>>736908074
Give him a bowl of water. or a bowl of eggs

>>736909343
Probably, lure him inside with food, setup a nice bed for him. Train him and have a pet raccoon

>>736908917
This. Shoot it.

>>736909343
hes playing hide and go seek lol pull your dick out and let him lick it

>>736908074
*literally* shaking

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I lost sight of him while making this thread, dont know where he is

last i saw him was behind this tree, no way he climbed up though

>>736909472
I kinda want to he seems pretty chill besides the shaking part

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>>736909441
I see what you did there.

hope you contract rabies from it biting you OP

>>736908074
He probably has rabies. Coons are nocturnal and it is not normal for one to be out in the day time. This is often a sign of them being rabid.

Did he bite you yet?

>>736888888

>>736909627
Swear to God, this is true. I reported a strange-acting raccoon in my neighborhood in the afternoon. Staggering around like it was drunk. I thought rabies. The cop that showed up actually fucking said "animals can get confused by daylight saving time". He actually fucking said that.

>>736909627

Surely a racoon would be out and about if it was starving + hungry no matter the time, little thing most likely lost his mother. Just see if it's extremely aggressive, if it's hungry and thirsty it's priority will be water and food, if it's rabid you'll be it's first priority.

>>736909627
PLOT TWIST:

>raccoonbro is just fine
>would be asleep right now
>except being chased by rabid OP

>>736909821
>"animals can get confused by daylight saving time"
kek

>>736909014
nigga op dont do this he got rabies he gonna kill you

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>>736909821

>>736909851
He was walking around and chewing on leaves or something from plants on the ground, when I got close he growled a little bit and then walked away, didn't see any foam or anything from his mouth

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>>736909511

Coons get drunk on fermented berries all the time

>>736909014
>Dehydrated

Because he's fucking rabid

>>736908074
Pet and train him to be the coolest racoon in the world and to rob people, profit

>>736910097
If you want to do something for it but don't want to actually have it in your house or physically be around it just put a box or some sort of shelter near him, if you see him again or near the same tree if you can be fucked, put some water in there with a bit of food and leave the little guy, otherwise just fill a bowl with water and put some food out near the same tree if you can spare it. Easily done and won't take much of your time and who knows you might save something :)

>>736909955
Too bad is not banner season. Save it for later

Requesting Racoon Space Program.
Please deliver OP

Find a turtle and hippo and start a thieving trio

Its a young raccoon wondering in the day, he probably just got startled by something and is lost

Op just leave him. Mom will come grab him when you leave.

>>736910736
i cant find him, he fucked off somewhere

raccoonbro friendship is kill

>>736910560
this

>>736910861
Remember him forever

>>736909014
LOOOL

>>736910861
keep looking for him don't give up, you can have a raccon as pet

>>736911053
unless I find his mother dead i dont wanna take him from his family

but then again a raccoon for a pet would be pretty sick

>>736911185
Well if you find him with his mom alive then kill her.

But for real keep looking for the little guy, where you are now?

>>736911510
I'm in the woods around the general area where I found him, gonna search the field nearby

>>736908074
Baby raccoons are cute as fuck and i like raccoons in general but i wouldn't go near one that has any visible neurological symptoms that's for damn sure

>>736908074
Just feed it some sweet corn in milk thats a coons favorite snack.

>>736911664
What do you mean neurological symptoms? At best he seemed like he was limping or really cold, or had poor balance

>>736911653
keep updating and sending pictures of the field maybe it's gonna help, look in the top of trees too you never know

>>736911839
Last I saw him was like kinda on a tree, maybe climbing up

But where the hell do raccoons live because with doubt it's on treetops

>>736911777
He looks small and skinny to me. He's a baby, which means either mama is nearby or she ditched it. Either way if the baby smells too much like human the other coons will reject it. I'd advise feeding it from a distance as in set a bowl out and let him eat and get some strength.

>>736910197

what the fuck

>>736911977
They live in trees

raccoons are very closely related to bears but they do live in trees. I just found that out recently

>>736911989

> if the baby smells too much like human the other coons will reject it

This also applies to niggers

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>>736911977
Fuck, they really live in treetops

HE IS ON THE TREES

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>>736912115

>>736908074
No. Fuck Raccoons.
Kill them all.
Do nothing but destroy shit and spread garbage all over the place then shit on your things.
I say again, fuck raccoons.
They'll spread disease too. To your children or pets who aren't aware that they are filthy creatures.
Kill it. Do society a favour.

I suggest you use a shovel. Bash it over the head a few times. Dig a hole, then stick it in.
Done.

>>736912191
>download.jpg

>>736912240
Fuck you racoons are supercute

>>736908074
he is not well, that's for sure. Probably malnourished, which leads to tons of other stuff

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I fucking found him dudes

Gonna go get some food and water

What do raccoons eat

>>736909608
>>736909441
top zozzle

>>736908074
its rabid man

>>736912240
Raccoons are very intelligent and odd creatures. Yes they live near people because they like your garbage and they will fight other animals, but they don't fuck with humans ever. They might try to bite a small child but if you're not watching your kid and they get bit I'd say you're a fucking retard and retarded people can't raise children. I'd say don't kill it unless it really is an aggressive raccoon. You could also run them off by scaring them, thats how I took care of my raccoon problem. No need for an excuse to kill something.

>>736912500
hell yeah
they eat fruts, seeds and fish

>>736912462
That's an evolutionary trait developed to keep people from killing them.
They are vermin, and should be treated as such.
Mice are cute too. But they wipe out crops/food stores, and spread disease too.
We freely kill these vermin, because we know the damage they can potentially cause if allowed to.
Coons have yet to hit a population density high enough for massive disease to spread. But it can, and will happen eventually.

Kill them all before it's too late!

>>736912359
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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>>736912500
Like I said they really like sweet corn. If you put it in some milk for them they might zuck ya dick

>>736912589
I won't deny they are smrt. But so are mice to an extent.
That doesn't change the fact they are vermin.

Also, chasing them off does nothing when their populations are high enough.
There's only so much space to shit. And once they find a good spot, they'll shit there for years.

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trips picks his name

>>736912850
>>736912850
I ran 4 raccoons off that lived in the woods near my house. One of them got in a fight with one of my cats so I would sit on my porch at night and chase them away. I chased a few up a tree, but my diligence paid off. That was in May, I havent seen one since.

>>736913248
CRASH

>>736913248
Robin hoodie

>>736913438

Roll

>>736912616
Their little people hands give me the creeps.

>>736913408
Just because you don't see them, doesn't mean they aren't there.
Coons aren't stupid. They know when to hide, and where to hide.
Hell, you could physically trap them, drive them 20 miles away, drop them innawoods somewhere, and they'll be back in a week, tops.

There's a reason they like your home. They ain't going to give that up just because of some annoying fuck.

Keep an eye out for their shit piles. They typically like to shit in the same general area all the time. So is a good indicator of if they are still around or not.

How about: Fuck off I am Wildlife Survivor

>>736913248
Vosby

>>736913248
Niggertits

name him niglet

>>736913248
Clinton

It has a name.

>>736913248
Kangaroo

>>736913583
Also my garbage cans have stayed up since then, cats arent fighting with anything, and I still sit outside at night to have a smoke and watch some mde and I haven't seen any, if theyre still out there just sneaking past me they can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't involve me, not much of a pest anymore huh?

>>736913438
re-roll pls

>>736913778
roll

Eat him

BANDIT

nigger faggot

Last I saw him he wandered into the Neighbors yard

Maybe he lives under their porch kek

COOTER

>>736913248
Sack

>>736913791
Unless you care about your landscaping, and as of a recent story, your shingles....

Fuckers like to dig/pull things up for fun.
Most are like you though, "if they don't bother me directly, whatever!"

Now, if you're in some small rural area, yeah. Worst problem is rabies and pets. Which is typically why we shot the fuckers on sight.
In the city it's illegal to kill them. So just a matter of time before they select your property to dig up, terrorize, and cover in shit.

You ever have a small property covered in raccoon shit, and a small child that wants to play outside?
Would you be happy cleaning massive amounts of raccoon shit off your child every day?

>>736913996
re roll

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>>736913248
Rocket

>>736913248
Groot

>>736913248
Gandalf

2pac

Well I cant see him anymore and im not gonna trespass into my neighbors yard just to find him

but once a name is picked through trips or unanimously agreed on, ill make a little gravestone cementing our potential friendship

until then hes referred to as raccoonbro

>>736913248
Poopmonster

>>736914027
I don't live in a city and I have a pretty big yard. Even if I did live in the city and had a coon problem, I'd try to trap them and take them somewhere else, because obviously they dont belong there, and its not like you can just shoot them in a city. And if the neighbors saw you bash a coons head in with a shovel in front of their kids, theyd probably say you were dangerous and to stay away from you lol ya psycho.

He could have all sorts of nasty parasites. Be careful.

Random

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>>736912240

>>736914076
re roll

>>736908074
YSK that if rabies sits in your system long enough that gets the chance to get into your nervous system, you die. Period. It's kind of freaky in that its early stage is super treatable, but it's final form has almost a 100% death rate. There was a story of a girl that got bit by a bat, didn't think anything of it, and was on her deathbed within like 6 months. Doctors sedated her for 2 or 3 weeks to the point of almost stopping her heart and she miraculously recovered.

Don't fuck around with rabies man.

>>736914377
It's actually illegal to kill the fuckers in the city. Just like shit hawks (seagulls) and pigeons (flying rats).
If you trap 'em, they'll come back. As I explained earlier.
They found something they like. Be it food, or safe shelter that's close enough to food.
Even if they don't, there's plenty to take their place.
No matter what you do either, there will be a reason for them to be around.
As they eat all manner of bugs. And good luck carpet bombing a major city in pesticides to get rid of them all.

400k strong is their estimated population in this city.
My only question is, when do they start becoming carriers for diseases that will harm humans on a massive scale?
>New plague when!?

Give him the dick.

>>736914582
i didnt get bit though, and im giving up the search sadly

>>736913248
Patrick Bateman

heth nameth be bernfinkle

>>736913248
zero fucks

>>736914674
If you aren't handling it it isn't an issue. You can leave out water and like cat food or something. Raccoons will eat pretty much anything.

>>736913248
homer

>>736913248
Ralph

>>736914027
They can have some kind fucked up deadly parasite in their shit, too.

>>736913248
Fox

>>736913248
Nigger

>>736913248
Ted Mosby the architect

>>736913248
Harry

>>736914883
Reroll

>>736913248
jeff

Edgy

>>736913248
Fucking banana

>>736913248
Donald Trump

bernfinkle

>>736914991
reroll

>>736913248
Name him Jeff

>>736914881
But unless you ingest it directly you're okay. Simple, don't eat ANY shit off the ground.

Bandit

>>736913248
Tonald Drump

>>736913248
raccoon mccoonface

>>736914984
Re roll

D'quarious Lequention

>>736913248
Leonardo DiCaprio

Starboy

>>736915144
Re-roll

>>736913248
Black Dude

>>736915148
roll

>>736913248
Crash

>>736915026
Parent having a party.
You're trying to be a good host/hostess.
Kids playing in the back yard.
Raccoons shit in back yard.
Can't watch kids like hawk every second of the day.
Kids find pile of raccoon shit.

Same applies to your pets, fam.

>>736913248
benedict cumberbatch

>>736913248
lil yachty

>>736915318
roll

>>736915318
re roll

>>736913248
Coon on the Cob

>>736914991
roll

>>736913248
Leroy

>>736915349
Lil' Boat

>>736913248
Hitler

>>736913248
Door handle

>>736913248
Lolicon

>>736915389
roll

>>736913248
Raton

>>736913248
Big dick

>>736913248
Answer to this thread or your mom will die in her sleep


or Atottoymewdis

>>736913248
>>736913248
Walmart

I guess his name is gonna have to be raccoonbro

>>736913408
Door mat

>>736913248
Otto

Dont let him bite you that's it

Rolling for 'Poopy Face, the racoon'

>>736913248
Uzi

>>736913248
Piotr

>>736913248
Mcfaggot

>>736914895
rerol

>>736913248
Yulyana

>>736913248
cumberbatch

>>736913248
Trips

>>736913248
rigby.

>>736913248
Semyon

>>736915734
roll

>>736913248
>736913248
Aelita

nigger faggot

>>736913248
Torpah

>>736913248
Crush

>>736915547
its "post" you fucking retard

>>736915640
Rerolling plox git

>>736913248
Conan

Nigger

Call him fucking Lars

nigger faggot

>>736913248
hitchcock

fuzzy fleshlight

>>736913248
George Zimmerman

>>736913248
Raccon

>>736913248
Trips the raccon

Fuckboy

>>736916029
Reroll

>>736909821
The cop is right, animals that live near humans are conditioned by them but still act instinctly to the sun/lunar cycle. Shifts in trash pickup, mass vehicle flow, and dogs being let out affects their behaviors.

>>736916137
Roll

>>736916029
Roll

Playboy; The Sequel

>>736909014
first non summerfag response gg

>>736913248
Snoopy

>>736914582
>>736914582
99.99%*

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/jeanna-giese-rabies-survivor/

>>736913248
Saggy

>>736916029
go

Fuckboy; The Squeakuel

>>736915389
Rollingus

>>736916444
Damn.

I R Racoon

>>736916512
I M Weasel

raccoon space program

>>736916444
Hi Go

>>736916444
So it's Go?

>>736916444
His name is Go

>>736916680
it is Go

>>736910197
Arrgh, my sides

>>736908860
>kekest
you mean the cruelest thing

kill yourself

Ok Op where is Go?

>>736908074
Keep away from raccoons. Rabies is a deadly disease as in more than 99% deadly. If you so much as get in contact with it's body fluids or get scratched visit a doctor IMMEDIATELY.

>>736913248
Tapanga

>>736916444
I think he rolled for George Zimmerman

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>>736913248
>>736916444

if he rerolled for george zimmerman he shouldve said "reroll"

say hi and goodbye to Go the Raccoon

>>736916937
>>736916444
>>736916506
>>736916626
>>736916680
>>736916720
Yes, i meant George Zimmerman

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>>736908074

>>736916937
No, he rolled "go".

Here are the top 5 signs of a rabid raccoon:
1) Difficulty walking - fully or partially paralyzed hind legs, or walking in circles.
2) Looks confused, disoriented, slow. A healthy raccoon will be doing something purposeful, and it'll look alert.
3) Makes crazy noises - most healthy raccoons chatter to each other, or make a real racket when fighting or mating, but usually when they're foraging about, they aren't making crazy noises.
4) Foaming at the mouth - if you're close enough to see this, get away!
5) Just plain looks sick - shouldn't be too hard to tell. Raccoons can contract a variety of diseases, including distemper, but in no cases should you risk contact with a raccoon.

Here are some behaviors exhibited by BOTH healthy and rabid raccoons:
1) Out during the daytime - totally normal. However, still exercise caution.
2) No fear of humans - raccoons have become urban animals like squirrels. Many healthy raccoons have zero fear of people.

>>736917225
interesting

>>736908074
They aren't supposed to be out during the day lol.

he has rabies.

Shoot him in the cute little face

>>736908074
I'm a fag and didn't read the thread, but raccoon moms often leave their babies somewhere they think is safe'ish while they go get food or do whatever the fuck. Then they come back.
Unless he very clearly needs help, you shouldn't really fuck with him. The "handling him will make his mom reject him" thing is a myth, it's mainly something said because handling him IS a bad idea but not because of that. Mom raccoon won't give a shit if he smells like your fat faggot hands.
But very obviously, raccoons are often a nuisance and you don't want him totally cool with humans unless you're literally wanting a pet raccoon - which is way more work than you're probably expecting and may even be illegal where you live. If he discovers you're a safe dude, that will make him 100x more likely to come knock your garbage can over or worse. Raccoons also bite, scratch, and can fuck you up if you let them, as well as murder any small or medium sized pets you have outside if they feel threatened or just woke up deciding to be a dickass.
In his case he's probably scared or hungry/thirsty. You should wait for his mom, if he doesn't come back you can decide what to do then. A kind vet would take care of him for you but think you're retarded if you're cool with that. Any authority would likely just exterminate him or possibly drop him off somewhere to let him live (like a refuge/shelter for wild "shouldn't be pets" that have been abandoned) but that entirely depends on the resources in your area.

The ultimate TLDR is that it probably doesn't matter a lot as it's just a raccoon, cute or not.

>>736917624
I like this anon.

>>736908074
skin him, hell eat your chickens if you dont i learned that the hard way i avenged em though and the coon is tanning as we speak

>>736913248
Stongun beachedmoist the skunk of tweeting

>>736908074
He needs comfort. You should cuddle him and kiss him on the mouth.

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>>736910197
This is why the aliens don't talk to us

>>736918188
Maybe stick a pinky in his little booty? This coon might be a freak

Anyone has the webm of the guy throwing racoon down some stairs or some shit?

>>736916444
You dumb fuck summer fags, he tagged the post that was "George Zimmerman." Go was his tag line for the post in hopes of trips.

The God damn racoons name is George Zimmerman.

>>736913248
Hitler

>>736918914
It's already been posted you fucking cuck.

> why didn't you link to it?

Because eventually you have to learn to do things for yourself, up to and including moving out of your mum's basement.

>>736910197
kek