I just made macaroni and cheese and went to take a bite and bit

>>736896828
Mac and cheese is the most disappointing thing I've ever eaten.

Why do you have butter in it

I was born

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>>736896907
this

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>>736896828
>Be 20
>Virgin
>Never had a girlfriend before
>Going on a date
>Take her to Mexican restaurant
>Walk in
>Tables, tables everywhere
>We sit at a table close to where a group of girls are sitting
>Oh well, they seem to be ignoring us
>Sit down and order food
>Nervous as luck
>Not sure what to say
>Sweating a little
>Food comes and it's going ok
>I panic a little when she asks about other dates I've been on but I cover it up pretty well
>It's going ok.
>Group of girls at the other table are getting loud
>Laughing loudly making jokes
>One of them knocks her plate with her elbow and a potato falls from her plate
>It lands on the floor next to me
>I pick it up
>Put it back on her plate
>She just stares at me
>Whole table bursts out laughing
>My girlfriend has this look like "er..wtf are you doing"
>I don't know what to do
>Take the potato from her plate and put it on my plate instead
>Her table laughs more, far more loudly
>Sit in silence whilst their table whispers to each other laughing at intervals

Fuck I don't even know what happened. It just happened so fast.

Feels bad man.

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>>736896828
getting a DUI, being social retard my whole life and doing my life the right way from the start

>>736897116
>right
wrong***

>>736896828
Mac and cheese mmmmmmm

>>736897071
Did you get laid though

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>be me
>grow-up in small shitty rural town
>good friends, family's not totally evil (not totally anyway) but there's one problem
>even the nicest person here hates gays
>after years of internal torment i come to terms with it
>go off to college
>struggle with meeting people who are OK with it
>after college move overseas, to totally get away from everyone and finally try to be me
>get a job that's horrible
>the job ruins my life, begin to get depressed and clinical burnout
>quit and have to return, to that fucking town
>trying to get a job, nobody would give me a good position because no regard for overseas work eperience I had
>get fed-up after a couple years ad decide to go back overseas, MAKE IT WORK NO MATTER WHAT, and stay forever
>decide to do a 2yr masters degree to guarantee myself a visa
>go back, toil like hell - study full-time and work full-time simultaneously
>happy though, getting my life together, never let myself get depression again
>meet the most beautiful guy ever
>my life is finally set.jpg
>finish my degree
>that same day i finished, the gov't changes the visa rules - no longer offering the visa i spent $100k and 2 years attaining
>hire immigration lawyer
>spend thousands trying to solve this disaster
>eventually lawyer concedes that only hope is to get my BF to sponsor me on a relationship "de facto" visa
>approach him about it
>he freaks, totally betrayed because he believed i had everything figured-out and it was going to be all taken care of
>in order for us to qualify for that visa they interview friends and family about us to confirm our relationship
>we'd have to live together too
>sadly his family is exactly like mine
>now I sleep on a cot in my brother's basement

>>736896828
>inb4 this post
but not b4 op cant inb4

>>736897071
LMAO you fucking idiot

>>736896828
Live 6000 km from USA.
Ask sister in law to bring me Mac and Cheese (the Kraft one, the only one) from her trip.
She brings...1 box.
I felt abandoned.

>>736897071
>Mexican restaurant
>potato

wtf?

>>736897311
>Ask sister in law to bring me Mac and Cheese (the Kraft one, the only one) from her trip.

Nice dubs, but fuck your nasty powdered cheese mac. Velveeta shells 'n cheese master race.

>>736897071
Putting it on her plate isnt a big deal. That follow up though....

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>>736897071
ded

>>736896828
Burned the top of my thumb with a soldering iron and realized my seared flesh smells pretty tasty

>>736897071
Saved. Have a link to some other greentexts
bit.
ly
/2dj3tGq
Or not I dgaf.

>>736897224
Damn I'm so sorry dude, how old are you now and where is this town?

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>>736897653
excuse me?

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>>736897224
where did you live abroad and what was the job?

>>736896828

>this post

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>>736897224
Jesus Christ.

>>736897433
Not with tuna it isn't.

>>736897727
>>736897799
I'm 34, don't want to divulge any specific identifying details like geography or places of work

>>736897789
Oh you clicked on it. I don't know. You'll have to read shit to find out what story that goes to.

>>736897433
Seriously.
>2017
>Eating powder Mac and cheese like a faggot

>>736896828
the girl i loved died last week

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>>736897224
you shoulda tried to do something easier pleb

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>>736897071

>>736896907
>>736897023
Mac and 'pasteurized processed cheese powder' out of a box isn't mac and cheese. Mac and cheese is macaroni in a cheddar Mornay sauce. Breadcrumb topping on top. Not from a styrofoam cup at a chicken place, not in a heaping pile at the buffet, you make that shit yourself with good cheese and proper Béchamel.

>>736897071
good post

>>736897653

>Eating her out
>Notice that its getting extremely lubricated
>Wipe mouth with hand
>Blood on hand
>Me "WTF are you on period and didn't tell me!?"
>Her "no"
>Me pissed, mood ruined
>Turns out I got a nose bleed

That one's fucking gold!

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>>736898071
oh yeah? well suck my dick

>>736897917
Yes it is. One of my favorite meals is shells n cheese with tuna and a can of Rotel. You've got to drain the Rotel though or else it gets nasty af

>>736897942
twat just give country and like did you teach english

>>736898130
Kek, I forgot about that one. Thanks, shits from as old as '06. Now everyone posts pics of greentexts so I never update it but eh.

>>736897224
Fuck dude. That's almost as bad as the Mac and butter thing.

>>736898071
This
Though I do like KFC's mac n cheese.

>>736898172
straya and no i didn't teach english, although they could use it

>>736898166
>Rotel
>tomatoes
>ever

>>736897564
Please tell me you tasted

>>736896828
>What's the worst thing that has happened to you
reading this thread. and my train was 4 hours late.

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Has anyone tried this particular disguting excuse of food?

>>736896828
>poor people food
Dehydrated compressed starch with a thin layer of salted dairy american cheese powder..
not
even
once.

I'm going to stay with my italian, asian, and mexican cuisines tyvm.

>>736898346
wtf who doesn't like ch'pole-t anon?

>>736898013
That'll teach you to love people...

>>736898264
once someone jumped in front of the train that was ahead of my train

>>736896828
fuck this faggot shit, go to >>131268280

>>736898396
worth it for the money

>>736896828
That's what you get for not making it yourself and just mixing some powder and butter instead.

>>736898412
Have you tried this, tho? It's fucking disgusting

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>>736898013
>girl
>loved
>died

>>736898531
no i haven't, but that's a shame

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>>736896828
>What's the worst thing that has happened to you /b/?
I was in a car accident and lost my left arm, then my brother passed away 2 years later (unexplainable death) then I lost my son and my wife took her life right after. I would have a hard time picking.

>>736898751
Shit dude...

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>>736898751

>>736898751
Sounds made up

>>736898977
It's all 100% true.. so be grateful for what you have and what you haven't lost yet.

>>736899065
>typing with one hand
fgt

>>736897071
xd

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>>736896828
All my life I've avoided signs of interest from other girls because I'm an insecure fag who thought can never be liked or loved, realized that recently and regret the chances I didn't take, there were quite a lot for a beta cuck like me.
>mfw 22 now and still a kissless virgin
>mfw it didn't have to be that way if only I had the balls to ask them out

>>736899087
I also game with 1 hand, dunno how that makes me a fgt, but ok

>>736897224
Good damn governments

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>>736899143
lol same, when i was young nigga i just avoided females as best i could

it's too late for me

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>>736899175
How do you masturbate with only one hand??

Yesterday I threw a cheeseburger at my sister's face at point blank range because she was acting all alpha and refused to clean up the oil she spilled everywhere so I made that bitch eat her burger in one bite. Regret nothing. Cunt deserved it. Now she is claiming I beat the shit out of her and family hates me now. Fuck them and fuck cheeseburgers

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>>736896828
It will only grease you pipes. Proly use additional TP after your next shit.

>>736898236
yeah hell nah wtf

>>736899284
how do you masturbate with 2 hands? dafuq

>>736897071
I dunno, mang, you just gotta stay sharp to roll with situations like this. It's also important to be comfortable with yourself in general. You can't get embarassed if you don't let yourself get embarassed. Here's how I would have handled it, because hindsight is 20/20
>have stroke and put floor potato back onto fellow diner's plate
>table bursts out into laughter after a few seconds of uncomfortable stares
>break straight face into a smile and laugh along with them
>look at "girlfriend" to see if she is laughing too, to make her feel accepted
>"Haha, sometimes I can have the IQ of a potato!"
>already warmed her up with the floor food bit
>laughs hysterically, god of comedy
>sex(?)
Bam, that is how you become an un-virgin

>>736899338
Americlap detected

>>736899407
BAM!

>>736899371
Wait. What do you mean. Of course I use two hands...

>>736899477
Ayeeeeee so true

>>736897361
Papas

>>736897361
I'm wondering this too

>>736897311

Ya know, did you ASK your sister to bring more than ONE box of Mac and Cheese? Like, sis I know you are flying in, I will give you $50 if you bring me 20 boxes of mac and cheese? No, I bet.

>>736899477
she got americlapped

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>>736897071
Godspeed OP you beautiful creature

>>736899671
Kek

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>>736898166

Like this?

>>736898215

popeye's has:

1. Better Chicken
2. Better Mac n' Cheese

>>736897224
What flavor pizza is that OP?

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>>736900059

Cheese

>>736900059
it's actually a pizza stone with a picture of what i guess would be a supréme pizza on the box