Gril invited me to go fishing with her and her fam today. Never

theyll-be-happy-to-teach-you
have-fun-fag

at least get some knowlegde of the net....or stand there like the big sissy you are most of your life.

dont be afraid to be hands on and get on in there when it comes to getting the fish or the bait or whatever

>>736893020
Your a little bitch.
If your not man enough to cast a line might aswell castrate yourself faggot

>>736893020
Prepare to be bored whilst hard in the friend zone.

Don't go, do something fun or ask a girl out, it feels better being rejected than wondering what if.

It's already too late with the girl that invited you. Trust me.

>>736893020
you could get eaten by a shark

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Imagine a plump tuba gentleman waddling up to her making low groans starving. He begins to suck her into his large flared bell acting as a giant maw to stuff her inside of as she easily slide down into his wet brass innards. Being sucked in deeper into darkness ending up as a big fat lump in his gut cramped far inside him. Satisfied with such a meal he begins to puff away an upbeat ditty with her tightly curled inside of his bloated brass belly as the incredibly low bass notes rumble around her vibrating her to the tune as his hot wet breath blows over her in a thick gust. An intense sensory trip makes her feel one with his music providing him with many low tuba belches of satisfaction. Her clothes are blown clean off her body and lifted out the top of the stuffed tuba as he keeps puffing away with her inside of his belly. Those long low tones rumbling out of him in ecstasy taking great joy in her filling his gut and vibrating inside as he plays. She can feel those warm brass tubes coated in spit buzz with such an intensity around her nude body that the bass notes make her tremble with immense pleasure feeling the sound resonate through her body and stimulating you from all her senses being tickled and buzzed

You could end up as Old Gregg's prisoner in a cave.

>>736893898
Art

>>736893752

This. You'll be bored, deep in the friendzone, look like an idiot because you don't know how to fish, and everyone will know all of it. Spare yourself the misery and go do something worthwhile.

>>736893020
>and that was the last we saw of OP

>>736893020
FFS what could go wrong. If you really end up in the friend zone you can always slowly back out.
Just be honest about not having a clue about fishing and have fun with it.

>>736893594
they said I should use a bobber. is that a bad thing?

>>736893020
Tell her you're a master baiter

>>736893020
she ends up sucking your rod

Don't be a pussy about baiting your hooks. Minnows dont have any feelings. Kurt Cobain said so.

fishing with a girl is the worst thing dont go

Check out the fishing thread from us sc/out/s the pastebin has great info. Show her your worm.

What could go wrong? You could catch a disgusting slimy smelly fish.

You could impregnate this redneck whore and be doomed to a life of fried bologna and moon pies.

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>>736894591
she said she uses worms

>>736894724
is it worse than bowling with a girl?

>>736893020
you could act like a sperg lord and fucking jabber the whole time

just relax, catch a fish and shut the fuck up.

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>>736894747
>doomed to a life of fried bologna and moon pies

>Not RC Cola and Moon pies

Why are so many guys here throwing around 'frienszone' what implys he was friend zoned ? Because it's a fishing trip? Mybe something she has to go too and is inviting anon cuz she likes him

Fishing is easy. Just fish with bait, unless you want to look like a moron using lures and getting snags. Can't go wrong with some night crawlers. Might not hurt to learn how to tie a hook on beforehand neither. When you catch a fish, shove your index finger and thumb on a side of the head each, right behind the fins, unless you like getting barbed.

chop the worms in half with your fingernail if you don't you look like an inconsiderate bait wasting pussy

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It's a test of your manhood. It was probably her mother's idea.
>can he provide?

You're going to fail this test and they're all going to laugh at her.

>>736894930
>When you catch a fish, shove your index finger and thumb on a side of the head each, right behind the fins, unless you like getting barbed.

thanks for this. everytime i shake someone's hand they comment on how soft my hands are. it's embarrassing

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>>736894962
i don't have long nails

>>736895082
pinch them then idk

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>>736894772
don't eat the shrimp salad

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>>736895053
Laugh at her?
Wouldn't they laugh at him?

>>736894342
Nigga bobbers for pussies real men use nothing but a bell at the tip of the rod

>>736894962
Fuck that, use the whole worm. What kind've pussy sized hooks are you using? Nightcrawlers are cheap as hell. Unless you are fishing for bait fish, you use the whole damn thing.

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>>736895159
No, they'll laugh at her for choosing him.
>the same way they would laugh if she picked an ugly dress for prom.
Men are nothing but accessories to modern women.

>>736893896
That's only possible in fresh water fishing.

>>736894889
This is even worse than friendzoning. Why would I have to suffer as well just because you like me?
At least if I liked someone Id say
>'listen I cant see ya I have to go on a fucking fishing trip with my mom and dad. Unless you really really want to come as well'

>>736894930
Yeah do that on a northern or musky

>>736894868
RC cola is my favorite soda

>>736895340
Doubt he'll haul anything worthwhile out of the water. Works for most fish, and I have a feeling all he'll be getting is small cats. If you can't identify them, what's the point of giving a bunch of tips about holding onto them? Fuck, if he's that clueless, might just as well bring a towel, chuck it over the fish, and handle it that way.

>>736895251
You think a fish goes after a half worm any less than a whole worm? Fuck outta here with your dumbass

>>736893020
You could cast your line and get the hook stuck in your penis, and she might see.

>>736894342
What are you, six?

Are you fishing from a boat or from shore?
What kind of fish are you going for?

>>736895623
What the fuck do you know nigger?

Ahoy Anon. You're sorta fucked. Just make a lot of jokes about fish being like pussy. That'll get you straight out of the friendzone and into her pants. Also get hammed on any booze they might bring along. Don't volunteer to do shit. Act bored. It won't be hard.

>>736895623

If you can't fit a whole nightcrawler on a 1/0, you might be the dipshit.

>>736895718
from shore. i think we are going for rainbow trout.

>>736893020
One of those parasitic catfish could swim up your urethra.

>>736893020
always be mindful of that fucking hook. if its swinging around, literally all it has to do is touch you(or anyone else) and its stuck. not like a needle either, since its barbed you have to cut it out. this happened to me twice, once it was my fault for trying to grab the hook directly (always grab the line above the hook and slide your fingers down), the other was my friends fault when he stepped on the line as i was baiting. remember this shit and the girl and her fam will know you're not some jackass and will happily teach you everything else

>>736895836
Until her family kicks you out and forces you to leave

>>736895929
Fuck! Don't go OP.

>>736895956

truth. I caught one in the pinky finger of my right hand as a kid. didn't know what to do so I ripped it out. bled like hell

>>736895956
thanks for this

>>736893020
It could be a trick... One moment you're out on the water with her family having fun, next minute, they cut you up for bait, not worth it man.

You could impress the whole family by pulling a tapeworm out of your ass, baiting the hook with it and catching the biggest fish of the day.

You will be legend in your community.

>>736896421
Nah anon, he's asking what could go wrong.

>>736895923
Don't use a bobber. Put two splitshots on the line 8-12 inches above the hook. Go to Walmart or dicks or a local bait shop and buy a jar of garlic scented chartreuse powerbait and #14 treble hooks. Use just enough powerbait to cover the hook. If they're all using worms, you'll out fish the lot of them and look like you know what you're doing.

>>736893020
Don't be scared of the fish. They're more afraid of you than you are of them

>>736895221
I've got a bell at the tip of my rod too anon

>>736896152
Gotta cut the eyelet off and push it through.

>>736896623
That's gay

>>736893020
enjoy yourself, try not to fall overboard or get a random fish hook stuck in your cheeks.

and come back later to report you're still alive (as well as update on your attempt at fishing for minge)

>>736896697
Seriously. How hard is it to just watch your fucking rod tip or, god forbid, hold it?

>>736893020
you could get a leach on your pee pee

>>736893020
youre fucked m8

>>736896853
I sit back with my Budweiser and chat with friends and look at my bobber. Do you know what friends are?

never go bass to mouth

>>736896697
t'ain't gay if you ain't gay; it just be budsex

>>736897065
I was talking about a bell, faggot. Bobbers have their place. It depends on what kind of fish you're after and what kind of bait you're using. My friends and I can sit back and watch our rod tips just as easily as watching a bobber. And we don't drink shit beer. I wouldn't wash my socks in Budweiser.

>>736897318
Fuck you faggot nigger. Let me guess you drink that putrid dark beer that only homos like? And fuck off you don't have friends.

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>>736897318
>I wouldn't wash my socks in Budweiser.

thank you for this

>>736897428
No. I drink a true American lager brewed and bottled in America's oldest brewery. Family owned and family operated since 1829. Enjoy your watered down redneck pleb beer, faggot.

>>736897779

Muh yuengling

>>736897779
What beer do you drink tell me nigger?

>>736897318
>I wouldn't wash my socks in Budweiser.
Of course not. That would be a waste of terrific Beer.

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>>736897428
>>736897779
>>736897850
How did this happen?

>>736897538
Liberal nigger

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>>736897538
It's all yours, my friend!

>>736897960
I like Busch it's made from sparkling creek water. Shit is good.

If the family is italian, don't go.

Just tie the fishing line to you dick

>>736898109
I've only ever met one person who drinks Busch. It's not bad when it's free and you're at family barbecue, but if I'm buying the cheap shit I'd rather just buy Genny.

>this is now a beer discussion thread

>>736898201
Why?

Don't fucking do it anon, don't be retarded why tf would you go out with her family it will make it so much harder to flirt etc. and force you to friendzone yourself also being with others family is boring as hell you won't enjoy it. And if you don't even know fishing there is basically no point just bail its a no brainer

>>736897960
one word: distribution
the fact that yuengling's even made the list is impressive. You can get every beer on that list in every state in the US expect yuengling

>>736898564
They're really doing a great job expanding. The Tampa plant seems to have been a great venture. Wouldn't be surprised to see them open one in the Midwest in the next couple years so they can reach the Midwest and the coast.

>just wanted to fish with my family

thanks for reminding me

Basically you're gonna make an ass out of yourself. Fishing is a skill men should be perceived to have. So if you can't her dad is gonna shit talk you and any hopes of fucking her end because she thinks you're a pussy.

Don't lie and say u have experience ull look like a douche

>>736898809
Elaborate

>>736898714

We have it in Indiana now. I remember drinking it back in Pennsylvania where it's made.

>>736898815
>her dad is gonna shit talk you

any publicity is good publicity

>>736898714
>>736898879
IL here and we dont have it. At least I havent seen it but I also havent looked too hard either

>>736898879
In Pennsylvania, if you go into a bar and just ask for a Lager, they know you're ordering a Yuengling. I moved to North Carolina last summer and I cannot break the habit. The bartenders always look at me like I'm retarded.

>>736898714
yuengling is truly for degenerates that don't enjoy a frosty good brew.

>>736898957
not if alpha male dad is talking down to you like the beta cuck you are in front of his daughter.

that's a straight no-brainer right there.

>>736899008
Be a white man and avoid it when and if you see it.

>>736898815
depends on how you handle it. Act like you want to learn and actually listen to what he has to say and you will gain respect from him. And dont be a pussy when it comes to handling worms or fish

>>736899139
>niggers
>ever drinking a beer that's darker than piss

I guess this is an appropriate thread for bait, though.

>>736899009
>>736899058

yeah Yuengling is full of fake caramel coloring

>>736893020
squeeze dat huge zit on her cheek!

>>736899301
sauce on claim

Homebrewer here, color is determined by choice of malts and proportions of the malts

>>736899301
>t. InBev shill

>>736899412
community consensus on beeradvocate

>>736897960
modelo is nice

>>736899457
>community consensus
This is like using wikipedia as a sauce.

>>736899058
You shut up.

>>736899579
Make me shut up.

>>736893752
>>736894053

shitty advice. just ask when you don't know what you're doing. they'll laugh but think its funny instead of thinking that you're a pussy. get hands on with the bait and fish. bring beer and snacks, and share. wind up getting shitfaced with the family, if they're into that. girl will be major impressed and you'll be hooking her tuna in no time.

>>736899283
Wtf degenerate state are you from?

>>736899693
I'll fight you irl.

>>736899721
And always wear gloves to protect your hands *

>>736899749
The keystone of the fucking union. What about you?

>>736899775
Well bring it on big boy.

>>736899913
I'm in Pennsylvania. Tell me where to meet and I'll be there. Then I'll kick your ass.

>>736899870
If your a faggot, sure.

>>736899884
A state that doesn't tolerate bullshit and used secession.

>>736900089
Why?

>>736899884
>keystone of the fucking union

>Keystone
>Keystone state = Pennsylvania
>Pennsylvania = Union

BTFO

>>736900095
How'd that work out for you?

>>736900294
Gives our state pride.

>anon makes post asking for advice his first time fishing
>somehow turns into arguing about beer thread
>arguing about beer thread becomes my state is better than your state thread

This is why I love this website.

>>736900470
Enjoy watching all your historical monuments get knocked down by sjw's and your precious battle flag getting banned

>>736900540
OP, I want a full report on your fishing (mis)adventure.

Despite all the bitching and digressions this thread has taken, everyone here wants to see you get laid with the fisherman's daughter.

>>736901827
I don't give a shit about him getting laid. I just want him to have fun fishing so he picks it up himself.

>>736893020
Could get a hook in your hand

>>736901980
better a cold dead fish than a warm live woman, eh?

Quit being pushy go fish

>>736902335
Only eating one of them actually fills you up

If that grill you best go she hot af

>>736893020
You could hook her with a fish hook.
You could flip the boat.
You could fall in or drop something important in the water (keys, phone, etc).
You could actually catch a fish and find out that she's more of a man that you are because you don't know how to handle a fish/aren't willing to touch it/bait.
You could find out how horribly uncoordinated you are while trying to learn to cast a fishing rod.
You could drown.
You might not have tree fitty.

>>736893020
She won't care if you've never been fishing, probably br happy to show you, and you better giddamn listen. Fishing is more experience than logic, and don't get mad if they aren't biting; fish are assholes that way sometimes. Learn the difference between being stuck on a rock or seaweed, and an actual bite. Reel when you jerk up, not after. If/when you bring one in, grab that motherfucker, don't be a pussy. Don't hurt the damn thing, but keep a grip on it that won't let it wriggle out. You want it steady for pulling the hook out of its mouth. Depending on how they're keeping the fish, or letting them go, you'll do a couple things. If you're just releasing, hold the fish upright and natural in the water, give it a little wiggle to run water/oxygen in the gils and wake it up, they'll be in a state of shock. Do the same thing if you're keeping them in a bucket or something like it. If you're putting the leash line through it, it goes pointy end through the mouth and out a gill, through the ring on the itger side of the string, and pull through, then tie the end to a tree or something.

Let things naturally happen, with her, and yourself. Don't get all hyped up or try to artificially push something. Lakes are sexual as fuck, the natural setting and quiet. But more than anything, just enjoy being out there. If you're not enjoying yourself, that shows her you're not comfortable with her and what she likes to do.

Also it's possible she doesn't care for fishing, and wants your company to get through it. Either way, just roll with it and enjoy yourself.

>>736893902
>Old Greg.
I was on board all the way up to that sketch. Was finally like, ok fuck it I gotta do something constructive with my life.

>>736903207
this man knows, OP

>>736893020
Nothing will go wrong. Every time you catch a fish, ask, "ooh, is it a red snapper?" That's a fishing joke guys always make. The girl might not get it, so make sure she doesn't feel left out by looking over at her when you say it.

>>736899721
>fishing.
>not beta.
It's a sport for hiding from your wife while she cucks you.

>>736903207
>>736903207
that's kind of fucking poetic

>>736893020
Just a reminder that everyone who says you'll just be bored out there are a bunch of east coast, yellowbelly cityfags who thinks their meat comes from the supermarket for being squeamish.

>>736903207
Actual advice in this post.

And to reiterate a subtle point of his, if you want to impress the family with having made an effort to learn a little about fishing, don't talk all about it, but when it's time to release your fish, as he states, you do so without taking it out of the water. You reach in and do it. It's taken a decade, but the "news" is finally making its way to the remote backwaters of the country, that taking fish out of the water immediately begins to fuck them up with brain damage, and as their gills begin to dry out, they'll stick together and get permanently destroyed. Same with squeezing them, since they're not made to be squeezed by anything but the soft even pressure of water. Their little ribs aren't protective at all. If the family is actually into fishing, and not just alchoholics that need an excuse to sit on a boat for an afternoon, they'll appreciate you making the effort.

>>736903840
>east coast

I've travelled all over this country for twenty years and you'll be shocked to find that there are cities all over it, not just on the east coast. And cities are full of loads of people who grew up in a manmade environment, value only the idea of manmade environments, and have no concept of why anyone would spend any time interacting with anything not artificial. The west coast isn't immune to this, and the central states aren't either.

>>736903694
Fishing can be very poetic, and the more you advance in it, the more beautiful it gets, until eventually, you're out there in a wooden canoe, or hip waders a mile up some rocky stream, just standing there seeing the fish, and you don't even want to disturb anything bc it's so perfect all around you. That's when you reach fishing nirvana, where it has nothing to do with catching fish. It's weird, but it's a sort of natural progression people wind up journeying through. The old guys that just sit on the end of their pier with a rod that never gets cast, while they just stare out at the water... they've fished so long their fishing has reached 100% in the mind.

>>736896623
I do this when using two poles for trout. One with garlic powerbait on a 24" leader floating above the bottom, and the other with a lure, normally a countdown or gold/red Superduper.

>>736894453
Underrated post

>>736903537
lol

do not do this op

her brothers will probably beat the shit out of you the first time you do it

>>736894799
Yes

>>736904991
Kek they might not beat the shit out of him. They might just throw him off the boat and leave him there treading water.

>>736904481
But you're missing the point anon. His point isn't about fishing or spending time with a girl or her family on a nice day. It's that some americans are bad and stupid and terrible people, and those americans are the ones in cities. east coast cities.

>>736903125
you forgot that he could get his line caught in the motor.
That is always a fun one.

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Sjows assassisn

>>736893020
Go. And help her get out that split shot that's stuck in her dimples

>>736905232
wut
wrong thread?

>>736894453
My sides are now orbiting Jupiter.

>>736894479
Nice.

>>736905308
I was gonna say he should date her long enough to cum in her mouth and see if it squirts out the sides of her face lol

>>736893020
If the fam has a boat OP is in deep and gonna die. It's the best way to dispose of you.

>>736905470
by... throwing a boat at him?

>>736895159
Because she failed to produce a male that could 'provide'

>>736903125
>You might not have tree fitty.
Well of course you give him tree fiddy the damn monster gonna want moar !

>>736904933
>implying fishing rods were meant in that double-entendre

>>736905708
>2017
>still being this primitive
nigger of some sort detected
gtfo muhammad

>>736904933
>fishing for trout with anything other than a fly rod

wtf kind of stupid ass trailer park scheme is this
it's a trout, not a carp. have some fucking self respect jesus christ

>>736895923
Get one of those blower injectors. It puts a couple bubbles of air in the worm which makes it float up off the bottom. No bobber, just a couple little weights.
The family will be impressed

>>736896560
>#14 treble hooks
only assholes use trebles for trout

>>736905982
>fishing with worms
>worms
>impressing anyone
>with worms
>worms
yeah if you're 8.

>worms

>>736905982
worms and bobbers are for kids who don't know how to fish.

and niggers and rednecks who haven't developed mentally beyond children. I mean honestly wtf are you doin.

>>736899058
>frosty good brew
drinking your beer too cold to actually taste the compleities.....
fucking redneck

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>>736893898

This guy.

>>736899136
depends on her & her issues. A lot of girls will rebel against their parents. Wait substitute girls for any kids/teens in that sentence.

>>736893020
If theyre going freshwater fishing, talk about how much better saltwater fishing is. and if youre doing saltwater, talk about how much better freshwater fishing is.

>>736906439
exactly. that's why girls go for bad boys, and that's why dad pointing out betaness is a turn off too - cause simple psycho-biology. Heartiste covers this ground regularly.

but I think OP should hopefully have a good time, meet the fam, and cop a feel when no one's looking.

>>736905522
of course, you've never had a boat thrown at you?

>>736895305
>only possible in freshwater

There are multiple species of shark most not dangerous to humans and the ones that are live in the ocean which is saltwater

>>736906570
>salt better than fresh
We have a WINRAR

>>736893020
Forget about the girl.
Use it as an opportunity to learn how to fish anon.
If the girl is still talking to you afterward, hey, bonus.

Then you'll be prepared for the next time you get invited to fish with a girls family. ...someone you actually want a shot with.

You don't learn how to dance with the girl you want to marry. You're going to step on a few feet first, and there's no way around it, so, sooner you get it out of the way, the sooner you can get past it and on with using ur mad skillz to pop some fly puss

lol

>>736907014
yeah that way you'll never go hungry even if you never get to drain your balls.

plus you might get cozy with daddy too, ya never know.

>>736907009
Saltwater fishing is gay.
>hey lets drag a bunch of lines a mile behind this huge fuckin motorboat the size of a house
>then if a fish manages to catch itself, you can pick up the rod and spend some time reeling it in
>and it'll fucking die bc we pulled it up from too deep too fast and exhasted the thing like hamfisted morons
>and we'll call that fishing

>lets go hunting anon
>we'll burn down this forest with napalm
>and then collect the flame broiled meat

get a sense of proportion, retards

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there is much to be afraid of.

>>736893902
This

Prove pabst blue ribbon isnt the best beer, pro tip: you cant

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Ya'll Nigers postin Beer,
in a Fishing Thread

How many of you faggots like Kirkland Light?
I know some of you fucks do.

>>736899058
This.
Yuenngling is trash and so are its drinkers

>>736899721
have you ever gotten laid? Ever? I'll even take roofying a girl as an affirmative.

Pure fucking friendzone, betafag is going with the family not friends on a drinking / fishing day

>>736894799
dude you can totally fuck a girl you go drunk bowling with. Fishing with the fam is DOA