Just learned that an old friend of mine choked his girlfriend

go on...

>>736885631
Aight. He spoke a lot about a high school hierarchy. Here's a notable quote.

"It's a steady, deliberate climb to the top of the food pyramid. People with a surface level understanding of the process call it survival of the fittest."
and
"It's... obligatory... to talk about the heirarchy... It's present everywhere we go. It's exhibited in the animal kingdom, the school environment, the workplace, on the streets, among men, women, children, blacks, whites, asians etc. There is evidence of its effect across all walks of life."

He was in love with this chick at our school. her name was ally. she was like a 6 imo
"She's all I think about... You'll be stifling through my dusty words when I'm dead at the business end of an illgotten gun and some pills attained through questionable means. You are dull pennies on [her] caniforous, green dollar."

>>736885741
>top of the food pyramid
sounds like a fucking psychopath to me

Ally died in a car wreck. on that topic he said
"Nobody wants to listen to an idiot babble and cry, it's awkward. Not thinking about my dead baby was a gift to everyone I knew."
and
"An intentional death is tragically poetic, a freak accident is pathetically tragic."

Possibly my favorite part of the journal is when he diirectly addresses ppl who might be reading it in the future. like he speaks like he was about to go full columbine kek

"When I try to think about the person I am, nothing comes to mind. Even now as I write, this isn't for me. It's for when I inevitably do something horrible and detectives need to diagnose a dead man. They can't let well enough alone, they just need to know why I did what I did, whatever that may be."
and
"Integrity, or as I like to call it, moral continuity, is a hard set of morals followed and maintained in order to appear perfect-- or rather, to appear like a perfect 'you.'"

Is he in jail now for the murder or is he free? Also how old is he?

I have to wonder what i couldve prevented if i had given this to someone.

Also more weird shit.
"Usually it's a ruse... the type of thing you should accept as a joke and disregard. Maybe you become a little irritated and pout later. That's the end of it... they never accounted for an extremist."
"She hasn't said a word to me since Monday, I guess I scared her off. I do that sometimes. She'll forgive me and we'll text for a few hours within a week's time. If that doesn't happen, I might go live at a park."

>>736886017
He was 15 in 2007 so he'd be 25 now. and yeah, he's in jail serving life without parole.

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>>736885999
Check em

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moar anon, I am into this. what's the edgiest thing he wrote about his mind?

>>736886186
>checked, also 222 on my last post. tonight is a good night.

Keep posting please these are great

We fell out of contact in 2010. He was always kind of a loner spergy.

there's a section where he talks about his childhood home of hillsboro in ohio and he says something that kind of resonates in me
"If the name is any indication, the quiet little town was hilly... The dark blue shapes of foothills loomed over the spot like they were getting ready to pounce on us."
But in that same section he starts talking about Ted Bundy and he starts ranting and raving.
"[He] claims to have killed over 50 people, which I know to be untrue. It's just so obvious by his mannerisms that he's lying to inflate his worth, or whatever irrationalist murderers measure themselves in."

might as well say some stuff that's on my mind atm.

my girlfriend is currently trying to figure out if she's pregnant or not. we were drunk and I don't remember if I came in her but she has been showing signs and we test tomorrow, this could ruin my life :/

>>736886222
Holy shit, check'd af. he had a retarded ego, like, i had to break it down to him that he wasn't god.
"I may be lean and meek, but damn if I don't have the fittest mind."
also he was pretty racist kek
"Ghetto lizards never account for comeuppance because they celebrate a trash culture instead of trying to pursue a higher form of education. They're either babied for their physically physique, or they're shot young and left to bleed out into their own filth."

>>736886478
did he say anything about a bad experience that led him to this type of behavior? any stories of childhood abuse?

he quoted a lot of philosophers to seem smart but everyone saw thru his pretentous bs
"Jean-Paul Sartre once said, "Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does." We're responsible for all of the stupid shit we do. The world just sets us up and then we're on our way. The stupid stuff I do, the stuff I do in character, that's not me, but I'm still in control. I have to assume responsibility for it because I'm just a stupid human with stupid self-control."

>>736886583
Yeah. once he tried to tell me he was molested by his dad but his voice was doing my head in so i brushed it off. Again i wonder what i could have prevented if i had just listened to him.
"I am a loud and obnoxious person with a lack of regard for the people around him. I play a character and I'm not even happy doing it. I'm a waste of space. I'm a bully."

This is another favorite passage, he gets so fed up with shit.
"There is no god, you just need to admit that to yourself. The sooner you do, the sooner you can live life the way it was intended to be lived, nihilistically. There's no order or meaning to the universe, you just pretend there is because you can't stand that enveloping feeling of solitude. I've seen and considered too much. I'm almost completely disconnected. I don't feel empathy anymore, I stopped caring. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't feel like anything, in fact. I used to get sick when I looked at people getting chopped to pieces, or raped, or beaten. Now I just watch and nod my head, it's come to be expected. It's fine. It happens. I can't stop it. I don't even really want to stop it. It's not happening to me. I've stopped caring about the victims, and I'm now only concerned with repeating the crime on the perpetrator, as a means of proving my superiority. It's like killing two birds with one stone. Or rather, it's like watching a bird kill another bird with a stone, and then taking that same stone and killing the first bird."

I missed this my first read thru but he was a pedo too. following xmas break he wrote:
"These writings serve as ventillation for all that pent up frustration that sticks to the walls of my insides like soap scum. I'm a disgusting pedophile... Did very little over this break-- the majority of which I spent at my father's house."

>>736886612
i can relate when he says he's a stupid human. sometimes I feel extremely detached with reality and i ponder upon the reason of life. like i understand our primal instinct or whatever is reproduce and thrive as a species but we have come so far with technology and shit. social media is starting to run the world. everyone is too focused on whats going on on the internet.

>>736886936
He does say some shit that even now i think is really deep. it scares me how intelligent and collected he acts like in here sometimes. i took a note from this:

"We live to die, it's like orgasm. Your life is the build-up, you want to draw it out. That's like a big middle finger to fate. Make your life last as long as possible. Eat up fate's time by reciting poetry on your death bed, or by passing your motives and drives onto a successor. In a sense, it's like being immortal. Outdoing and overcoming the world's expectations. Don't stress over impressing the Earth's inhabitants, work on leaving nature in shock."

about forensic detectives he said
"They're too curious, they need to attach motives, the families of the victims need to why whether or not their child deserved it. Every victim's lover, parent, family member, and friend wants to believe that the victim deserved it, they just won't admit it.
It's more comforting to believe that your dead acquaintance died for a reason, maybe something they were in control of. "

>>736887073
damn, this nigga really sounds smart asf.
"Don't stress over impressing the Earth's inhabitants, work on leaving nature in shock."

but how do you shock nature?

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This sounds like the shit I would write. Inb4 columbine 2?

big drop coming through. a few weeks before the summer of sophomore year he wrote.
"There's no single thing that sums up a person. My mother, I love her with all my heart, but she keeps complaining about her social anxiety and her drinking problem. What a sly way of dismissing all of your faults as a factor of something bigger than you. Addicts aren't out of control, they're just too stupid to harness self-control and use it. They're weak and gluttonous. They need to feel that high again because they went and spoiled themselves. Patheticism if I've ever seen it.
Today is Saturday. Two days until I have to go back to school. This was like a mini-break just for myself. Just for rehabilitation. I feel great, I smell summer, it feels like summer. It's almost been a year since I talked to Matthew and Ally everyday, or since I acted out Shakespeare in the ampitheatre at the park, or since I watched Myka's body as she ran, and she bumped into me and I felt her squishy form on my arm. Or even since I didn't get the teacher's award for English, despite the fact old Mrs. McGhee led me to believe I would. I didn't talk to her the rest of the year, I was fed up with lowering myself."

>>736887210
Hell yeahhhh
>>736887179
he's talking about drawing out life. Existentialism i think where you make the most of out life.

Here's a goodun
"I'm miserable. Not miserable like starving children in impoverished countries, or sex slaves traded and raped on a daily basis, more like, I feel too awake. It's comparable to the stuffed feeling you get after eating a large meal. I syphoned too much information out of the world and now I'm full. My head is killing me and I feel exhausted and dehydrated. My body aches, and the pain is coming in waves. Each wave stings a lot more than the last."
and
"I've done what many others have done in my position and I've labeled the classes to the best of my understanding of them. I fall into a category I've named "cogs." It is short for cognizant. I possess what can only be described as ultimate self-awareness. I have yet to find another person who exhibits this. Ally is perhaps the closest."

>>736887145
My best friend was murdered by his brother in a double homicide. Shot his dad and little brother with insurance money as a motive. He was normal before, but after the shooting he seemed out of it. For the first week he wasn't a suspect, and me and my older brother spent a lot of time with him. He wouldn't eat anything and would stare of into space with a smile on his face, we would ask "what's so funny" and he'd always say "i'm thinking about them." when they found the gun in his truck he told us everything that happened, thank god we didn't get caught up in everything.

>>736887547
That's really fascinating. did he display any other odd signs?

Last one i'll post bc it's the last one i transcribed digitally.
"I am alone in this class, the cogs. This exclusiveness is not without its toll. In fact, it feels more like alienation than it does exclusivity. My friends are all idiots. They claim to be smarter than me, a conclusion they reached by comparing test scores alone. Morons. You're eating out of the system's hands. These tests were created by fallible people. How can you trust the results, let alone what they say the results mean? The only true tell would be for us to go head-to-head in a written debate."

This dude was Holden Caulfield for the Columbine generation

Seriously you could publish this stuff

>>736887902
If i changed some stuff and wrote it off as fiction, maybe. but i don't want detectives snooping and getting on my ass about never reporting the creepy shit he said.

>>736885814
>choked his girlfriend to death

you might be on to something

>>736887637
one time we were watching tv and he stood up and unplugged the tv, we asked why and he said "it was bothering me" we were watching "Blow" on netflix. he then proceeded to tell us about how he missed his dad and brother, and we asked what he would do when he found out who did it, he laughed hysterically and said "i'm going to fucking destroy them."

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Some of these excerpts sound like they were ripped from a feels thread.

This is some interesting stuff anon, would be good if you could post/publish it somewhere. Keep the journal as well, there's a niche market for things like this, they become collectibles for people that are into true crime.

>>736888393
That's creepy as shit. glad he was found out.

>>736888643
Yeah. a few friends who remembered it from our little inner-circle have offered me upwards to 200 dollars for it but i'm not parting with it.

>>736888650
when he shot his dad, he killed him instantly. But his brother was a different story. he had to "use his hands" while he "gurgled on his own blood." < words of a murderer.

the thing that bothered me the most about this all was that he actually did this and thought he got away with it.

>>736885505
>Face hidden for obvious reasons
Get the fuck out.

>>736888770
I wouldn't have the sentimental value that you or your friends have to it but I wouldn't mind reading a copy.
A few years back a girl we knew killed herself and a friend of mine kept the journal/suicide note.

>>736889180
look up Thorsten Rushing, should be from Lawton, OK.

Bullshit....post a pic of the journal

>>736889264
kek why? i'm still in contact with his family. i don't want to risk doxxing them.
>>736889308
when i get around to digitally transcribing the rest i'll upload it on /b/ sometime in the future

>>736885505
post pics of his girlfriend.

is she hot?

>>736888150
nah, that part is fine. Could have just choked on his dick

>>736889525
Cheers, preferably over a weekend around the same time.

>>736889484
consider it done. give me a sec to take
>>736889586
kek not in her current state

>>736885505
One time I found some kind of journal on a train. Used to clean trains.
>start reading
>"the hot brunette with the blue eyes looked at me a few times....she had huge breasts escaping her shirt" type stuff
>there's pages and pages so I quickly scan over it
>"cute litttle schoolgirl about 10 years old....shame she's with her parents. Her legs are open and I can see her knickers....I love her cheeky little smile....fuck my dick is so hard"
At the back there was a memo "meeting (insert name and address) staying there for 2 weeks...yay"
At the time I was dumb and had no idea of the possible scenarios.
That guy probably raped some kid at some point. I could have let the people at the address know about the journal...
FUCK!!!!

>>736889736
before pics are good too.

back in highschool a girl i had a crush on died.
now this is a fetish for me.

>>736889736
Tick tock
Cool story brah

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>>736889869
whoa, i'm not even gonna touch that
>>736889985
calm your tits kiddo. i got out the camera for your ass

>>736890455
Check'd and the 7s look kind of the same. I'm calling bs.

>>736890455
Lol used vivid to write what a psycho

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>>736890627
kek it looks like a 7 if that's what you mean.

>>736885505
k he is an extremist and psychopath... but what about you op? does it feel good pointing with your fingers at him? what good do we have with having you? nothing i would say

>>736890455
nigga this is your book kek

>>736889352
>Thorsten Rushing
thanks for giving his name. i reported this thread to the fbi for withholding important information about a murderer.

>>736890774
Yes i'm in possesion of the book kekek

>>736890802
Reported for declaring a report.

>>736888150
underratted. litterally laughed out loud

>>736890870
You spelled possession wrong dipstick. And he's saying that *you* wrote it, not that you own it.

>>736891001
Nigga i knew what he meant. you must be an autist if you can't recognize what i was doing.

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>>736890455
My favourite
How long they made this edition?

>>736890919
reported for declaring you reported me for claring a report

>>736889869
woah, damn dude....you should get help for that shit.

>>736891118
looking for a date online. can't find it. Search for yourself. he wrote it 2007-2008

>>736886367
Or it could enhance your life

>>736890455
Dude lol
That's the same fucking handwriting

>>736891424
>>736890757
i guess it looks kind the same but honestly, mine is significantly neater.

>>736886367
It can be good or bad depending on a lot of shit. Really, it's not too much of an issue. As long as you are not moral faggots you can abort it.

I'd be a faggot and say to put the child up for adoption, but if you're a moral fucker...it's probably bet off to just abort it before it ever has legal anything. The foster care system is a fucking nightmare.

>>736890455
I think you wrote it in 2007
Did you recently kill your gf or do you want to?

>>736888046
They're not going to ever arrest you for doing something like that. Either way this is a very interesting yet scary read and I'm glad you posted it.

>>736891678
>it's more humane to KILL your baby than to put it up for adoption
lmao

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>>736891718
i stg that's not my shit dude.

>>736891751
it's the sad fucking truth in a lot of cases. If there is not physical abuse i almost bet there's mental. Not all foster homes are the ideal image you want in your mind.

>>736891745
i'll take your word for it. when i transcribe maybe i'll host it online somewhere too.

>>736885814
This. Future Jeffrey Dahmer right there

>>736886356
Don't take the brown acid
Don't do crystal meth
Don't strangle your gf to death
This guy is a Jewish Hitler of spastic

>>736892817
What are you talking about?

>>736892973
Don't stick your dick in the beehive.

>>736886161
>he's in jail serving life without parole.
i wonder what he will write in his diary all that time

Dude, can you lieeekkk, take photos (and censor names)? I wanna read ALL of that edgy crap, and not specific lines.
(Why(?) you might ask? Well, because I wanna get to know his character. I'm a wannabe a writer)

>>736894876
Henry is that you?

"needless to say, I had the last laugh"

>>736890919
>Reported for declaring a report.
is it really illegal to declare that you reported someone?

>>736885505
This dude is actually a pretty good writer for his age. You neanderthals are just jealous he knows words that have more than 4 letters.

>>736890455
Take a picture of at least 5 pages fully written RIGHT now, otherwise you are just an edgy summer fag who wrote a bunch of non sense on a page in a notebook in order to pretend to have a cool story

>>736895484
Yeahh but he also killed his girlfriend so??

>>736889866
Shut up faggot, you ain't the thought police.

>>736895593
Yeah, perhaps he should have stuck to writing.

>>736895587
Not op but really? Are you in this country on an expired visa?

>>736885796
>coniferous green dollar
Wow what sort of fag uses the word coniferous to describe a dollar lol

>>736894925
Nope. I'm Dominick.

>>736895484
He's a good writer with a god-complex and accompanied with a probable inferiority complex. In other words - He is delusional. Deep down he knows he ain't shit so he deluded himself.

>>736895632
Nobody is policing your thoughts dipshit. Anon's just saying his writing is alright for his age.

>>736895733
Coniferous Green
2A542B
Hex
42,84,43
RGB
Looked it up. It's a shade of green.

Is OP still here?
>>736895587
I want this