The last message you sent to a female is what's going on

"Well that's awesome."

Meh, not terrible

"Domestic Partner."

I died the way I lived.

>>736714145
"Leaving the office"

"Crying is for pussies"
Bless

"Obviously, I love you!"

That's mine! Cool!

>>736714145
"No, they dont use that word"

So far only paper products have been switched over.

"It's already over"

"take it or leave it, bitch"

better than expected

>>736714145
That's a bunch of avocados

>>736714145

Kool

Hey b do you want to do salads for lunch today?

It could be worse..

" F sake no, you have to export to .CSV"

"what're you doing st the gym today bebs?"

"Oh, a Mrs blobby... I still would!"

"peace out bitches"

"it takes several weeks for mead n stuff"

...alright then

Shes eating it. Not allowed the cake till she does!

"as if it was nothing"
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"smash the phone, burn the wallet, you never existed"

"Nothing going on this afternoon. Clean pl lines then send the troops home at noon"

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

--
Majikthise,

>>736714145
Anyone know who that ass belongs to? I tried image search, not working out.

>>736714145
>Recover well from me.

reading all this i would really like some context to some of those. could be very interessting

"cause she wouldn't give up da booty"

>>736714145
"We're here"

>>736714145
"Not that much anymore"

was really hoping for something better :(

"Pls reply i sent u my wiener pic"

"What the actual fuck"

>im here open the door pls

Why are mine always weird

t o m a t o

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>"Call me when you wake up."

> Now it's in your room. but before that, it was in the hallway.
Clearly we were talking about my ghost.

>>736714857
it has the name "ANDREEA MOLDOVAN" attached to it but that's not helping.

>>736714927
1) text a cool line to your grandma
2) copy cool line
3) paste cool line on 4chan
4) profit

> cool story anon

>>736714145
I'm cheating on you with Shannon

>cl
my gravestones gonna be lame

>>736715198
nigger detected

>>736715241
No I'm white but nice try.

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A little inappropriate.

On a side note the Samsung s8 has awesome edit tools. Fucking blurs and shit man!

Thats Burger King money right there

I put a glass of Ribena in the fridge with tin foil on the top to keep it fresh. Love you xxx xx x xxx x

"or Detroit"

Im cheating on Shannon with you

i wish we had bbq

>>736715356
> this hardware has awesome software

You want me to come over and fist you ?

Fuck you. I'm done with this bullshit.

>>736714145
Plz respond

>>736714145
"I'm up. Come over whenever"

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>>736714145
"Ah fuck... Really sorry to hear that Sweety"

File: MrFTnCt.jpg (22KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

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>>736714145
'lucky'

>>736714145
ha, actually it kind of works:

>no worries

Hi! few things to start off with =]

1. Yes I added you because you're a female gamer, 'tis an awesome thing to see!
2. I'm Brian.
3. Don't be intimidated, I'm not a stereotypical guy. If anything, I'll be the one in the kitchen.

>>736714145
"yeah sure i can be there"

wow thats too vanilla

>>736714145
"No"

well that's boring

"Yeah, i know. It's fucking shit."

Auf jeden Fall war das schmerzhaft.

Talking with a Girl from my Class about a Condom which was too Small, (It was painfull.)

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Haha shit.

"It really is all my fault."

"Coming over with laundry"

>>736714145
"it's all good"
I love it

"Nah. Not tonight."

"I'd be a shit bf"

>>736714145
I need toilet paper :(

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>>736714492

File: Screenshot_20170623-135420.png (544KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

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Probably as a pyscho strangler

>>736714145
"Necromancer is coming out soon"

Sandwich bread
Creme brûlée coffee creamer
Triscuits
Small curd Publix brand cottage cheese
Milk

"How could you do this to me"
Sounds about right.
Feelsbadman

"We need to talk"

"I'm so done with this"

Did, did I win?

"Spend time with ya boy"

Guilt trippin from the other side

>>736715876
did you text your mom

>>736716022
Ew

mine can be taken many ways

"yea ill be here"

like in spirit or perhaps always at that gravespot
ima be cremated tho and turned into jewellery

"Damn, that's cold"

>>736714145
"Don't miss me too much"

"Leaving"

Hey eter

.-- --- .-. -.- .. -. --. / -- --- -. -.. .- -.-- .-.-.- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- / -.-. .- -. - / -- .- -.- . / .- .-

No joke, that was the last message

'He feels solid around his bladder as well'

One of our cats was having trouble peeing, crystals in the urine, he's at the vets now poor lad

>>736714145
Had to go. (Anon) called. I'll be back later.

File: IMG_3233.jpg (670KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

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"Goodnight Linda."

>Pic related, literally the text I sent before that. It all concludes in worthy Death.

>>736714422
Sent my Gf a pic of a puppy

I told him. How much good it does is to be determined

"I can approve your time card at work tonight."

I guess I'll be remembered as helpful.

The last actual words were "goodnight babygirl" the last message was just a heart emoji

>>736714145
"Quick question, but how the fuck"

>>736715776
Why are you sending bitches stale pasta

"hey there little slut"

>>736714145
"I'm sorry"

Sums up my life

"sorry, i have to be up early in the morning so i can't come"

"Shit happens"

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>>736716501
sappy git

"doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results"

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>>736714145
it's true?
Watches at $ 0?

"Monica has solved it apparently"

File: Vaas_3.jpg (17KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

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>>736716691
>did i ever tell you the definition of insanity?

"Right..."

"what a lovely photo"

"But dinner tonight tho?"

Great, history will think I'm a fatass... or a hobbit.

>>736716702
I just discovered something. So apparently whoever or moreso /whatever/ is posting this spam, it does it on several threads at the exact same time. It's a bot of some sort. Either that or a whole bunch of people.

Anywho, anyone who sees this shit, report it as spam. There's got to be a workaround for this for the mods, and pointing out these posts should help out.

''Im gonna drink again on monday''

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>>736716932

"dead meme"

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"Soooooo.....why did you use the cat to sweep the kitchen?"

It'll be interesting to say the least

>>736714145
>I really don't see why a blow job while I'm working is a bad thing.

I work from home and wife is here so yeah I really don't see a problem

"Ok. Have a good life. Goodbye."

Nice.

ei viddu
(oh fug)

"I assume I'll be waiting at the school?"

I'd probably sound like a school shooter a pedo.

Sorry I guess I was sleeping...

> "all the extra hours will build up the boobie fund faster though"

Female friend is saving money for a tit job.
To busy putting in overtime to hang out these days.

" Yeah, he's good."

"lool"

>>736716932
i legit got two watched for shipping when i responded to this spammer and im not dead yet, whats the catch

>>736714145
"after meeting cigarette, wooo"

hmmm

---> ( ¡ )

File: 1485022969815.jpg (288KB, 1500x1001px) Image search: [Google]

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"Go ahead and get two."

>We were buying seltzer waters.

"Try turning them 180°, as I told you on the phone"

>>736714145
"Maybe you have an Idea"

>>736714145
>Don't tell me you had to wipe your ass with my shirt

Well, that's an interesting one.

>>736714145
"Me acabo de leer casi todos los mangos de Shingeki no Kiojin :v" pretty funny i think

Rrrr

Nonono

"I wouldn't know about kpop"
Perfect.

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>>736716777

File: 1484610372510.jpg (74KB, 625x900px) Image search: [Google]

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"Happy Birthday"

>>736714145
Why did it send a million of them?

"Not enough?" Just a friend and I talking about work hours.

>>736714145
"Okay. You want to give me the number now, or when I get back?"
This was to my plug.

Good morintn

>>736717333
checked dem trips of truth.... so did she blow you or not?

>>736716022

WTF, is that a dead body

Villanos is better than chickens.

"Sofia's coming over today" to my wife

>>736714145
"Happy Birthday!"

>>736716362
Translation?

k

"Sure."
My gravestone is going to be very sarcastic.

>>736714145
"Unfortunately."

>>736714145
"I won't take my hands off of your body"
I ain't even mad

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>>736714145
>It's been about a month since I've bought anything from Wal-Mart

"Put yourself in my position.."
Serious that was my last text to a girl

>>736714145
"Whatever then bitch. Your husband probably already knows we've been fucking anyway, so who gives a fuck what your jealous ass sister thinks or says."

>>736714145
I've been wanting to fuck you since last summer, we should hang out sometime ;)

>>736714145
"I'm on my way."

Green cups are 99 cents at dodge's

""

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Happy new year! 2007 is going to be great! You wanna grab a coffee sometime? I'll pay for it of course.

Jimmy Carr's 'greatest hits': 15 years of thuggish jokes and tawdry stereotypes

>>736716022
Nice

"So you'd be more into be a cumslut than a sex slave ?"

My parents wouldn't visit my grave

>>736714145
"The air conditioner just shredded a mouse"

>>736719430
she does kneel under my desk off and on, but she makes me cover the camera on my company provided laptop, keeps thinking they'll see lol

"Whatever ine if you don't want me to I won't. I'm not about to beg. I have training for my new job on MONDAY 10-7 anyways. Have a good day *her name* love you.

it doesnt matter id death comes early, good night <3

""

;))

Was very busy

>Ahah, because the longer I'm hard, the more cum I make

Jfc who have I become

"Bye x."

seems appropriate

>>736714145
>Ran out to get vodka & butts

pretty fitting

Let me tell you some more terrifying facts here. 12 Americans are gonna die today at the hands of an illegal immigrant by murder by a violent crime, 13 more are gonna die because of illegal immigrant truck drivers. That's 25 Americans dead today more than any outer conflict we've ever had in the last 50 years, because of these illegal fucking cockroaches. That's right and all of my police officers buddies out there and Sheriffs and all that stuff can testify to this, 95% of all our homicide warrants are issued for illegal immigrants. Fucking two thirds of all felony fugitive warrants are for fucking illegal immigrants. They won't even stay around baby, they do the fucking shit and they screw! 16.000 of these fucking illegal immigrant cockroach bastards are infesting our state penitentiaries. That's right.

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"i'm chillin"

lol based

>>736714145
"Happy birthday, [her name]"

"Just heating one of those meals now then I'll head to drop that drum off, declans cars up and running too"

'Sounds cool'

>>736714686
That's a strangely poetic thing to have on your tombstone.

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>>736714145
"I horny demand sex"

>>736721017
tell her liam said happy bday too

>>736714145
No joke, I literally just sent, "I just hAd a stinky gross poop :("

>>736715109
1) make up a cool line to post on 4chan
2) profit

"Truth"

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>"Ok"

At lest is not the shit emoji, that was the previous message to this one, it was to sister.

>>736720631
She turned you down, huh?

>>736714145
" I'm not dead, I'm still listening"

*deaf

>>736714145
"i love you"

>>736720394
You're just acting like a sensitive cocksucker to get in her pants, right?

"yea fun fun"

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"Eww dey stinky pipi "
>ok

>>736714686
wow good one

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"Hahahaha damn that's fucked up"

Kinda like it tbh kek

>>736714527
KEK

“You're welcome"

>"When is (shitty local concert she's supervising) again?"
That feels oddly specific.

>>736721291
nah she wanted to hang monday and I didn't want to because i needed my alone time and she might be pregnant which was making me super nervous everytime i was around her. I told her that instead of saying the job thing first because it's how i felt but she got mad. She then told me not to text her.

>OK, thanks for letting me know

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>>736721695
cool story bro

"Hi anon,

Please find attached the analytical data you requested. Our IMS team are currently working on updating the software. Any reports not submitted by the 10 July will not be added to the system, and will need to be resubmitted once it is back up.

Please let me know if you need any assistance.

CC femanon to chase as anon is away until next week.

Kind regards
Anon
Anon team

as boring as it sounds

>>736714145
>Sup Stunner?

>>736714145
Alright, see you soon.

>>736714145
"ok"

>>736714145
>GameStop?

wut

>I never got my naked titty dance...I'm just saying.

I'm ok with this

"Dzięki. Będę tęsknić za twoimi wargami. Nie zapomnij, że zawsze powinieneś się kochać i robić cokolwiek chcesz.
Miło było.
Lepiej biedzie."

You can translate :)

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>>736714145
Would be a convo with my wife's friend about how I saved a pic of our last fb conversation where she admitted she loved our affair and wanted it to continue. She has 2 kids.

Would be awkward.

"I want to cash in my GBP for tendies tonight"

The fact that I can so easily piss you off just proves you're a sweetheart. And that's exactly what this is.

>no context makes it weird

"I've been up since like 12 lol"

>>736722351
Let's be real. It's probably weird in context too.

>>736722269
fuck i love these stories... I know they're all fake, but something about them just makes me smile.

................

>>736714145
everyone in this thread will have blank gravestones.

"eh, it works I guess"

"Text me when you wake up"

Psychokinetic hug

>>736714145
Hi honey, what's for dinner?

"ok"
Great...

>>736714145
She plays a crazy lady in that one too. haha

>>736718560
use esta misma frase la semana pasada jaja

>>736714145
"I wanna sploot on top of you"

>>736714145
I'm here, don't want to be

2311? I don't think so

>>736722888
>Checked
>Kekked

No need to get the cops involved.

File: ishygddt.webm (1MB, 1280x720px) Image search: [Google]

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>Horrible stuff, wouldn't recommend it

Huh.

>>736722999
>tripull on the tripull chekk

>>736723041
Nigga you done fucked up

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>>736722999
What are the odds lol

>>736723139
>implying he didn't post it as bait for a personal army or random screengrab.

"I'm coming over tomorrow to get my package."

Recent breakup, post still getting sent to her house.

Its okay that youre 15.. i domt mind :)))

>>736716362
>.-- --- .-. -.- .. -. --. / -- --- -. -.. .- -.-- .-.-.- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- / -.-. .- -. - / -- .- -.- . / .- .-
WORKING MONDAY. SORRY CANT MAKE AA

>>736723245
You should have finished with, "...and give you mine."

>>736723235
Time stamp is too convenient. East coast.

>>736714145
Thank you :)

>Lotta people don't have a filter and have no qualms posting their life story. Even if that includes other people who don't want their personal shit out for all to read

"I eat ass"

It not, but that's oke. Thank

> Ding dong!

>>736723235
Never forgot Katelynn Orcutt

>>736723344
So he's "accidentally" semidoxxing for personal army purposes.

>>736722413
She's been trying to say she isn't nice. So I've been pissing her off for the Luls. The "and that's exactly what this is" remark can from her saying kys and me laughing. As I was typing the message she said "I feel like this is the kind of situation where the girl tries to be mean and the guy just laughs"

"But not Winter rain because Winter rain sucks"

>>736714145
My sociology grades are better than back in high school

>>736723530
Yeah, that's pretty weird dude.

>>736714145
"ayyy girl how you livin?"

File: 5hH5V9.gif (2MB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

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>>736714145
Hopefully I live long enough for animated graves to be a thing, otherwise this is gonna lose something.

"I'll explain later"

"I'm at arby's now"
Lol sweet

A pic of my spotty tounge. I think i have a disease

I'm home, I'll be waiting...

>>736722870
fucking mexicans get out of my b

>>736723443
everyone eat ass nowadays step your game up.
>eat the boogers

File: iu.jpg (152KB, 1200x799px) Image search: [Google]

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ITT: You post a slightly worse looking pussy than the post above you.

Let's see where this goes.

>>736723730
BOATS AND HOES

Ok, I love you roo


>Spelling is hard

>>736723756
Dude, this isn't a cringe thread.

>>736714145
Awesome, I'll be there

"Send nudes"

>>736723617
Eh. I guess. It's just our thing I guess.
She also calls me tea and I call her biscuit. Weird situation behind that too...

>>736714145
"bring your phat pants tonight, hardstyle till I die"

>>736723981
Sure, pretend you weren't confessing your love for Roo.

>>736714145
"ok"

File: Screenshot_20170623-210658.png (1MB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

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"Hot down there?"

It's cool. Don't worry about it for now.

>>736714145
"I don't think market basket has condoms."

Someone stole my sunglasses...hiking could be fun. My lip is cold now lol.

>>736714145
"Yeah no, I have enough shit to figure out a place for"

Odd

"I saw her snapchats too."

"Uh..do you have a plunger here somewhere?"

>>736714145
Is this to corny?

As I gave her my number

okay love, have a great day

eh

"Spooky"

"I love you too"

not that bad

"I'm here."

Niiiice

>>736714145
Jews?

>>736714145
"Que emo que sos lpm"
Translated to something like
"You are really fuckin emo holy shit"

"Do you want Chick-fil-A?"

>ITT
>faggots pretending they have gfs

I just realised i havent sent any message to a female for about 8 years..

Get back in here let's do it

"yep"

cool

>>736724003
OH HO HO YOU SURE GOT ME XD

>>736714145
"And then I'll fuck your corpse"

>>736714145
"How so?"

>>736714145
I think my gums on the stitched side isn't healing together.
>RIP
Please press F for me.

>>736724745
F

>>736714145
"don't"

What do you want from mcdonalds you fat shit

>>736714145
"on my way, mom"

oh shi-

Aiiei

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>>736724043
It seems like I'll be getting a ravestone

>>736714145
"Logistics board"

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>>736725022

>>736724362
>faggots
>gf
something doesn't add up

"Eggs"

>>736725110
faggot is the catch-all term for anybody on /b/, faggot.

>>736724350
emo? pensé que todos los putos emos de la plaza rodríguez peña ya se habían suicidado

>>736725163
No it isn't. Faggot on /b/ still counts as an offense in 99% of all iterations.
Prove me wrong.

"Yes, unlock the door"