ITT: School stories I'll start: >be me >be in year 9 history class >class is watching old animated video >main character of this is a woman wearing a horned hat (the kind Vikings used to wear) >teacher pauses video and we discuss it >put up my hand >say something about the Viking stereotype (don't remember what I said exactly) >immediately, usually docile class turn into autist tards >"VIKINGS DIDN'T WEAR THOSE HATS YOU IDIOT" they screech in unison >after they finish screeching they have the most smug looks on their faces, don't think I've ever seen anyone that smug since that day >remain calm >ask them to explain why the stereotype includes that hat if it was never worn by them >inform them that while the horned hat wasn't worn in battle, it was used in ceremonies >mfw the teacher concurs I still get angry looks from some of them when we pass each other in a corridor.
This is kind of related to school so here goes: >be me >junior in high school >socially awkward, kissless virgin >manage to get the number of my 11/10 high school crush, through a school-related project too, no trickery involved >fuckyes.jpg >text her later that evening >I'm much more open and sociable on instant messaging boards so it actually goes well >socially retarded 16 year old me thinks I might actually be getting somewhere >we finish throwing jokes at each other, and she asks me whats up >thinking I'm a fucking genius, I take a picture with my phone and send it to her >of the fucking ceiling >no response >mfw I realize later how badly I fucked up
I love School story time >be me >be average 9th grader >honors and APs are easy as fuck in my school, so i take all those and get flying colors >but I'm also linguistically autistic, so I can't Spanish >get placed in regular Spanish with retarded group of fucks >teacher is an oldish lady, nothing really bad about her teaching skills but she tends to get upset easily Oh, and she VAPES cont?
>be me >junior high >physical education class >have to do laps >negro women park on the corner and socialize >they harass me >"Yo, faggot! You gay as fuck." >I decide to retort since one of my friends were near >"If I'm gay then come suck my dick!" >get beaten up by gang of five gorilla women >end up at nurse's office >friend that was walking with me just ran while I got beat >I'm dumb
>me and friend >biology class with old fart teacher who was literally days from retirement >gave my friend detention for being rowdy >friend asks me for my lighter >proceeds to light his detention slip on fire and throw it out the window
oh and this other time >english class >with same friend >find binder in desk from another student >"fucktard should learn to keep track of their shit" >folds binder in half and shoves it out the little window opening in the corner of the window >its stuck >both of us forcibly jamming this binder through >other student walks in asking teacher for details about assignment >sees us >nobody has even noticed our antics until now >whole class staring us down, teacher included >look at them in unison >look back at binder and force it rest of the way through
Later... >same class period >literally same day as binder incident, maybe 15 minutes later. >teacher leaves room to take a piss >friend takes every bottle of pills he can find on her desk and throws them out of the window >she comes back noticing nothing out of place >2 hours later she left to go home because he threw her blood pressure meds out the window
>Classmates start fucking with her, subtly at first. >She has this old ass cabinet that is pure fucking metal and almost entirely hollow >These geniuses begin throwing coins at the cabinet >A few"tink"s later, she's mildly upset but she claims that she's won the battle because, and I quote >"Estoy 83 centavos más rico" >(she was 83 cents richer after picking up all the coins) >a few days later and coins start to get boring, I'm kind of pissed because I take my studies seriously but the course was easy so \_(ツ)_/ >They start throwing coffee beans instead of coins >Shits boutta get real good
>>736672080 >One day, a guy brings a tin of about 1000 beans. >As soon as the bell rings and the teacher dismisses us >he lets it fly >995 coffee beans on the floor, 5 on her desk >Teacher lets out massive reeeee and demands that the last one to walk out of class has to pick up all the beans >Just about piss myself laughing >Next day jock faggot brings his beats pill >tucks it behind the back drawer, already Bluetooth connected to his phone >begins playing construction noises >(this was fairly normal as our cafeteria was being worked on at the time)
>>736671886 hi its me again with more stories from Oliver Wolcott Tech!
>in math class with aforementioned friend >his mother, being a helicopter parent, emailed the math teacher and asked that my friend be seated at the front so he can focus >he refuses >we all know where this is going to end up >teacher threatens him with ISS >tell him that if he sends him to ISS i will go with him so im neither of us are bored >he calls someone down to escort him to ISS >pack my things mid-lesson and put on my backpack >get up when my friend is told "follow me" by the lady who arrived >teacher tells me if i don't stop walking he will send me to ISS >keep walking anyways That day I actually learned valuable life skills (what a w4 is and how to fill one out) in ISS.
>>736672520 >Everyone at this point is chuckling, with the fury of a thousand suns in the teacher's eyes >Kids start complaining about the loud construction noises >Wool is completely pulled over our poor victim's head >All of the sudden they stop >And at 100 decibels >WII RESORT MUSIC >Teacher ends up detaining everyone except myself and another classmate (we were both kind of teacher's pets, we both just didn't want to get blamed for anything that went on in the class) >Class is pretty stumped on how to ramp it up from there, theyre all fools after all
>be me >sophmore at the time (senior now) >have to take world history class like all sophomores >land in a class with the weirdest fucking teacher ever >let's call him Mr.D, pun intended, you'll see later
btw this will be multiple posts I have a gold mine on this guy
>walk into class on first day of school >wtf.jpeg >look at teacher and notice his hair line >mfw has like a spot of hair on the top of his forehead, then has a 1inch bald space, then more hair >also, this teacher was about 5'6" and was pretty heavy for his height >*bell rings >*teacher gets up >" Well, this is one 'High Quality' class!" >whatthefuck.png >he then proceeds to walk up and down the rows of desks pretending to be searching for 'contraband' (phones and shit) >he then goes up to the white board, takes a marker, taps the marker 3 times on the board, grabs his trash can and taps it against his desk, flips the marker in the air, catches it, and says at the top of his lungs:"1,2, AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDDDD 3" then makes a tally mark in this box with our period number in it. >okwhatthefuck.gif >trying super hard not to cringe and my peers are just in disbelief. >since it was the first day there was this whole school wife learning thing so there was no actual teaching, each period you were supposed to do some shit with the rest of the school(stupid as fuck) >next day things get weird
I'm a slow Typer so bear with me I'll try to give out as much as I can
I have a story....super cringe central >be me >also junior in high school > play sport, start on varsity so alpha in those regards, but beta with women > hav a plan to lose virginity > have a hot science teacher 10/7 easy > learned from watching porn that maybe if the teacher saw my half chub through my pants she would get the hots for me >one day after school I came to fulfill my plan. > go to her class room and say I needed help with the most recent homework > her being a genuinely nice person attempts to help me > start with idol chitchat, crack a few bad jokes...but nothing is sticking > we were almost finished though the homework, so in a last ditch effort I said I need to use the restroom >say ok but to hurry up > go to bathroom and muster up the master sword of boners >check in the mirror.....you could clearly see the outline of my throbbing slong in my pants >go back to the classroom > stand in the doorway so she can have full view of my masterpiece > she looks up and was about to say something when her eyes drift downhill > me thinking (finally she knows what's up) when she look back up and asks if I'm ready to go finish > Family jewels instantly deflates and I take my seat > realizing the scope of what I just did I finished up and basically ran out of there >teacher would not look me in the eyes until the day of graduation So yeah that's my story of sexually harassing a female teacher....
>>736672852 >So remember that giant metal cabinet from day 1? >Classmates sure as hell did >The following day >Someone brings a fucking ACCOUNTING CALCULATOR, like the old 90s kind that looked like a brick and weighed like an elephant >On a fresh, sunny spring morning in 2009, hell was about to unleash >at 8:36 AM, the accounting calculator makes its wonderful journey from the hands of, let's call him E, to the cabinet >at 8:37 AM, the gates of hell open >The loudest, most obnoxious fucking KLANG you've ever heard >released like an atomic bomb inside V-202 >Teacher immediately grows small mustache over the bridge between nose and upper lip >Learns German in half a second >Unleashes the fury of the third Reich on everyone in the back right row >Everyone sitting there gets suspended, I sat in the very front so I was safe >you would think the shenanigans are over >but you can't quell an autist with punishment >The following week, upon arriving back from ISS >The target has changed from the cabinet to the teacher's desk >And the ammunition has changed >My classmates seek revenge >Turning around for half a second would've been too much, so she kept her eyes one every part of the class at all times >until someone went to the sharpener on the other side of the room >and asked her a question >"Doctora -----, que hora es?" >Almost the entire fucking class screams >"Es tiempo de revengir" >Stupid fucks couldn't even be bothered to scream "it's time to get revenge" correctly >5 Goldfish fly through the air >landing squarely on the papers that cover her desk
That is the story of how 5 classmates were expelled and my class made a teacher quit.
>next day starts >actual day now with learning and shit >walk into Mr.D's class, notice I'm the first one in their >ohfuck.jpeg >everyone else was so creeped out by yesterday that they would wait outside as long as they could before they had to come into class >teacher sees me, makes extremely uncomfortable eye contact >being myself, I was pretty good with people and a good conversationalist so I didn't have a problem with talking, but this guy was just weird. >"Wow, first student to enter my class, that's pretty 'High Quality'!" >"Haha yeah, I like to be on time." >"Well that's good , don't want to miss any of this 'High Quality' world history class!" >"Haha yeah." >okay what the fuck >what is with this guy and high quality >ramble on about some shit then rest of class enters >teacher gets up and calls class attendance >however this dude couldn't even do that normally, he would read of people's names in this talk show like voice and make cheering sounds of they said they were here and would give some sort of arm pump. >finally gets done with role >need a new back I had fucking cringed so hard >he then gets up and hands us all the class syllabus. >pretty normal shit, however there is this fucking massive section on phones. >turns out this dude was a major control freak, if your phone was even the slightest bit visible this dude would take it >mfw seriously >he's reading off the rules to us then when we get to phones he kinda takes a deep breath and goes into this big speech about no phones and how we must put them away before we went we the class and if we don't he will take them immediately. >nigga was the same with earbuds too, they could be in your pocket and if he saw the wire pop out he is taking em. >this becomes huge thing later on with a couple of students >finishes with the rules and jumps right into our first lesson, but before he does that same weird thing with the marker.
>>736674084 Thanks. That's actually the first story I've ever greentexted, and I actually can't remember the exact number of goldfish/students expelled but holy shit I was shook. They actually removed the giant metal cabinet a week later, too.
>grade 9 >start [.playing footsie w/ the tiny girl who sits across from me >she reciprocates >this becomes a regular thing >one day she stops with the kicking and it becomes her wrapping her legs around mine and sliding them up and down my own >never does it again
and that was the closest ive been to losing my virginity /b/
>so about a month into school we have our first incident with mr.d >solid 7/10 sits in front of me >strike up a convo with her >just idly talking and shit >she then asks me if I had the last classroom assignment and if not where to find it in the textbook >tell her that the assignment was done in a different textbook which the teacher kept away from kids(the books were old, but had some different chapters than the regular ones) >she goes up and asks him where the books are so she can do the assignment >teacher tells her to sit down and raise her hand then he will call on her >dead.jpeg >is this guy serious >she turns around and looks at me in disbelief >she does what he says and raises her hand > he intentionally positioned himself really far way from her, then the moment she raised her hand he bolted over to as fast as he could and helped her. >he told her to get up and he would show her the text books >she gets up and walks over with him then bends over to grab a text book >mfw teacher is staring directly at her ass, super obvious >friend and I start laughing >she comes back confused >tell her what happened later that night and she was disgusted >anyways, after that he sat down in front of the class on this stoole that he had and was dirty with his legs slightly spread out >class ends, other friend walks up to me laughing >"dude look at this" >*shows me picture of teachers bulge while he was sitting down(he mangaged to sneak out his phone and take a pic) >mfw teacher was hung like a damn horse, clear outline of his junk >die of laughter
This shit happened pretty often, later noticed he placed the slutty dressing girls in the front of the class so he could look at them.
>>736671529 I can't wait to tongue your bung bung and chop chop your titty flops gimme dat hair it's mine now I can see you it's me huehuehuehue how's the present I sent does it smell nice huehuehuehue
>fast forward another month >chillen in mr.d's class >emo skater kid walks in with his headphones dangling from his shirt >ohshit.png >nigga forgot to hide his shit >teacher notices >runs up to him and tells him to hand over his phone and shit. >kid let's out a huge sigh >sits in his desk and very slowly brings to take out his phone and headphones(doing shit to piss him off, coils his headphones and shit) >teacher tells him to hurry up or he will write him up >kid still talking forever >teacher says okay and goes to his desk and pulls out a referral to write him up >all of a sudden the kid stands up and says"HERE" and the nigga throws his his phone and headphones directly at the teacher >teacher flips out, class in disbelief >teacher calls up the narks >bout 10 minutes later nark walks in >"hi I need sonso" >emo kid gets up"what did I do" >"we'll talk about it in a second, grab your things." >"I'm not going until I know what I did." >argues for about a minute then eventually leaves >teacher just let us talk for the rest of the period >kid got suspended from mr.d's class >talked to kid afterwords >apparently the narks get so many calls from him that if you get your phone taken away in his class, they will just give it back to you because they know he is a bitch about phones
I have a couple more stories if y'all are interested, Tell me what you want, I have one where he touched a girl one where he yelled at a girl for using the restroom And one where he got into a screaming fit about someone throwing an apple and quarters at him.
>be small time drug dealer >selling weed mostly >faggot kid named josh comes up >wanted to buy 100$ of bud >holy fucking hell >told him i'd need a day to get the shit and we'd need to do this outside of school >next day after school I told josh to meet me at burger king with his cash >at BK I told him I'd left the bud in a bag right next to the trash can >he slipped me a 100$ and I sprinted off to my homies car while laughing my ass off >next day josh came over me pink with rage >wtf man There was just dogshit in the bag >its stink weed bro enjoy lolol >laughed at his faggot ass >after school I was walking home when josh came out of nowhere and suckerpunched me >beat me and went through my pockets but i'd already hid the 100$ >called me a pussy and that i should never show my face to him again >that pissed me off >went to the most thuggish niggers I could find and told them that Josh fucked me up for being black >started making up shit that Josh called me a nigger spear chucker etc etc >Offered them the 100$ to split between them if they fucked him up for it >mfw Josh got beat so badly he lost his baseball scholarship >mfw he walks around with a cane now >mfw that was 5 years ago and josh works at walmart now >WHOS A FUCKING PUSSY NOW JOSH?
>>736677296 Fake and gay, but I'll play along while the other guy is typing: you cheated a guy, he avenged himself ("dealt with the problem"), and then you, pussy that you are, arranged to have a bunch of people even dumber than yourself avenge yourself of your own injustice by taking advantage of numbers since you can't handle a 1:1 confrontation (as evidenced by getting your ass kicked by a total nerd). That's not manly. That's just nigger shit.
>>736676797 Determinent Uni? Are you Marvin the Martian what the fuck kind of words are those? You mean detriment to uno yeah you guys suck at card games does atar mean having shitty hands guns would be bad for your hands since youd lopsidedly hold it and break your fingers. Damn black people eating ant farmers your beavers are poison ducks go suck a shark fin and shove a jellyfish up your bum
>English class >still at the age when you draw dicks everywhere >end up drawing a gigantic dick on my mates folder >he notices as the teacher slowly approaches ohfuck.png >he quickly tipexed out the dick >on a fucking red folder >teacher sees gigantic white dick on a red folder
In the end my mate snitched on me and I had to buy him a new folder
>11th grade history class >new seat rotation for whatever reason >kid behind me keeps bothering me >trying to whisper in my ear >keeps saying dumb shit that I don't care about >starts kicking the back of my chair >tell him firmly to stop >15 seconds later I get kicked again >more serious tone this time tell him to stop again >30 seconds later another kick >ready my pencil lead, get it to the longest stable length (mechanical) >wait for another kick >kicks again >jam the pencil in his shin as hard as I can and stare him dead in the eyes >starts laughing it off, grinning through the pain in an attempt to maintain composure >a minute later I look back and he's rolling up his pant leg to check his shin
this was the only real time someone fucked with me throughout my school years but if someone fucks with you, just cause them physical pain. i've heard that it works and as for my case it surely seemed to work, no more kicks.
>closer to the end of the year >teacher was fed up with our autist behavior >earlier that week we had set all of our alarms to go off at the same time, funny as fuck, teacher flipped out >anyways classmates and I are getting bored, we've done almost everything we could think of, we read off details about his likes form his facebook in the middle of class(he didn't catch on), we trolled him with our phones, tried to make a fake account to follow him so we could look at his life(didn't work) >one day my friend, who well call J, had a good idea, >mfw best idea ever >remember that weird marker shit,that was for minutes we could use to talk at the end of the week. So we were hella quiet when he did it >idea was to throw quarters at the white board when he was doing it, friend was slick as fuck too so he wouldn't get caught. >day comes, teacher does weird marker shit >all of a sudden , the noise that you hear when you empty a Jewish mans pockets >teacher spins around at fucking Mach 7 red as fuck > begins yelling like crazy you know flips out >end of the period >teacher puts his email up on the board >tells students to snitch on whoever threw the quarters for a reward >trying so hard not to burst out laughing >friends and I hatch a scheme, we all blame each other >teacher gets lost because our emails or so misleading so punishes random student who he thinks did it >ohfuck.gif >me. D gave my boy Bryan a detention >you don't fuck with Bryan >talk to j, decide to throw what ever we have at him the next day >next day comes >teacher doing marker thing >j gets up and chuck an apple core directly at teachers face >j being slick doesn't get caught >class in utter shock >teacher looked angrier that the south Vietnamese after the 1970's >flips out >does same email thing >next day >j still not happy >throws chuck of Deoderent at teacher >fucking dead, deoderent >teacher flips again blah blah >never found out who it was
>be me >was around 15 or 16 at that time >trimming pubes >decide that it'd be a waste to throw them away so I keep them in a little zip lock bag >had to hide it from my parents so I put it in my schoolbag >end up forgetting about it and bringing it to school >realise I know my friends locker combination >I'm at school early as fuck >no one there >open my friends locker >slip out my pube bag and empty it into his locker
an hour or so later >we go to his locker >he finds pubes that smell a bit like jizz in his locker >absolutelydisgusting.mp4 >he knew it was me >throws all my jizzy pubes over me
>>736678500 Okay I'll make these MR. D stories quick cause they short
>since we waited outside of class until like the last minute teacher used to come out side and force us to come in >one day a couple of girls are late, pretty much right when the bell rings >one girl is closer to the class room and holds open door for other girl >teacher sees this and goes fucking ham twoards the door >gets to door and tells girl to close door and come in >girl doesn't and waits for other girl to come(bitch was slow as fuck) >teacher again tells her to and she doesn't >Mr. D then got pissed and flat lit grabbed the girl and forced her to come inside >this girl was Mexican >huge mistake >look at girls face >mfwrage.mov >girl flips out and runs to office to fill out some form >teachers sits there like a cuck >girl comes back, slaps the slip down on teachers desk and says I'm the most evil voice ever >"DONT YOU EVER TOUCH ME AGAIN." >holyshitballs.mp3 >teacher like a total FUCK just sits and nods
Okay bathroom one
>teacher had some stupid bathroom pass system >one day girl needed to use the restroom but was out of passes >teacher woundnt let her go >argued for like 5 minutes >girl gets up and leaves >flips off teacher and says she's going to the restroom >girl comes back >class goes own >end of class they get into verbal fight >girl gets iss >this is at the start of the year so we lost respect for him right there
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