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Heya /b/ BPDfag here! Hows everyone going? Tell me about your

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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 52
Thread images: 24

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Heya /b/ BPDfag here!
Hows everyone going?
Tell me about your problems if you'd like, I wanna try and help.
Also if you're curious about BPD, ask me anything!
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Titty bump?
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>>736607311
In your opinion: What is the worst mental disorder to have?
And what is the worst mental disorder for the people close to the sick person?
Are you able to function normally in your job?
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>>736608842
>>736608842
I can't really answer that too honestly because you need to be in the mind of the one affected by the disorder to know how bad it really is. Everyone has their own tolerance. I would imagine that someone with DiD or Schizophrenia would suffer the worst. Fighting for control of your own mind and body would be truly awful to have to do, and I hate hallucinations so much so I'd imagine that would make Schizophrenia even worse.
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What did it feel like when you got diagnosed? Relief? Sadness?
Are you taking medication against it? Do they work? Are there any side-effects?
Have you met any other BPDs? What did you think of them?
Have you ever been institunionalized?
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>>736608842
Derp I forgot to answer the rest of the questions
The worst disorder for the people around the disorder would probably be BPD. I constantly unintentionally fuck with people, ruin relationships etc and that's why when I'm not having my episodes, I'm trying to be as nice as possible to people to make up for it. I don't have a job because I'm a shut in. With the disorder I have a great deal of anxiety and I'm too scared to get out in the real world and get a job. One day I will manage to do so. When I do, I will manage to contain all the emotions and symptoms until after work, maybe I'll do something to wind down afterwards so I don't explode at somebody. I know I can get a job, I just lack the motivation to do so and my anxiety is too stronk.
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>>736609935
Where do you get your money from if you dont have a job?
In a hypothetical work-environment: How long could you conceal your symptoms? aka. How long would it take for someone to notice that you are different or at least that you`re an asshole?
Do you usually tell people that you have BPD?
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>>736609769
Honestly I was just relieved that I had an official diagnosis finally and I can work towards getting better now. I don't take meds because I don't wanna cram my head with chemicals and I believe I can get better without them. And so far I am getting better, even if just a little bit. My best friend was also diagnosed with BPD however she didn't experience it the same way I did. In fact I didn't believe that she had it and eventually she got diagnosed with DiD which I also don't believe she has but she's beginning to show more BPD symptoms now I think. I also have another friend that I met because I could tell from first glance that she had it. The way she walked made her look so anxious, she would always speed walk while constantly stroking her long hair just to distract herself. When I started talking to her, she sounded like a female version of me, expressing the exact same symptoms and acting the exact same way. Unfortunately she hasn't been officially diagnosed yet so atm she's just self diagnosed. I believe 100% that she's borderline though. Oh, and I've never been institutionalized however there have been some occasions I believe I should of been.
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>>736610413
I live with parents, and I'm young enough for that to not be weird. My parents care about me a lot and want me to stay anyway.
I'm actually very good at concealing my emotions and only my best friend (lets call her G, shes my favorite person) can notice when my mood has changed. So I'm sure I can last the whole day, every day. Unless some sort of incident happens, or the boss gets super mad at me for something. If that happened I would find it much harder to hold back and I might even break.
It depends who I tell about the disorder. I usually only tell close people about it (and then they run away because they can't handle it) but I tell /b/ so I can educate them of it and/or learn about other disorders.
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>>736607311
How many friends (speak to at least once every 1-2 weeks) do you have?
Did you ever try to kill yourself? If so, did someone find out? How did they react?

Do you like your family? Would you rather save one family-member of yours or two strangers, both with family of their own?

Do you have sex? How many romantic relationships did you have?
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>>736610942
How old are you? Do you have stronger affections for your mother or your father? Do you have any siblings?

Do you have any hobbies that are not related to a computer or screen?
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>>736611143
>friends
Counting off the top of my head, the ones I classify as friends: 6
>death
I fall into the meme where depression wants me to die but anxiety doesn't (pic related) I have been driven over the edge countless times but not been able to kill myself because of both my anxiety, and I don't have a way to kill myself. I can't cut myself because I have a phobia of my own blood and veins, I don't have access to a gun because I'm in Australia and I just don't have access to rope.
>family
My family are alright, I feel like my mum has something wrong with her though. I feel sometimes shes a little delusional and she even gaslights me sometimes and I'm not sure if it's intentional or not. When she gets angry she doesn't hold back I guess, just like me. My day... Well he's just a big ol lovable goofball and he would have to be my favorite out of two parents. This probably sounds terrible but I would rather save my dad than two strangers, although if I were in the situation I would attempt to save them as well as my dad.
>relationships
I am yet to have sex, but I have had 2 relationships. Still haven't gotten over one of my ex's and she was even willing to get back together but then I had to move away and she isn't a fan of long distance relationships
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Sup princess?
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>>736611951
I said pic related but didn't set the pic to the one I wanted. I am on fire today. This is the related pic
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Hey again!
Are you straight, gay, bi?
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>>736611378
I typed a response on my PC but then my internet cut out. Bear with me!
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>>736611378
I'd rather not say my age. If by stronger affections you mean romantic or sexual then hell no. I have a younger sister and an older brother but same goes for them, no stronger affections.
Too anxious to go outside without friends. If I found a hobby I could do with friends I would do it. I occasionally go out and walk around the shopping mall with friends but that doesn't happen as often as I want it to

>>736611976
I'm no princess but hiya

>>736612359
I'm not really sure. I feel like I have 2 personalities, one of which is a straight male and the other being a straight female. So I'd say the whole me is bi cos I swing both ways but I'm not often into guys
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>>736607311
What is your favorite body-part?
What is your favorite bird?
What is your favorite organ?
What is your favorite berry?
Do you consider yourself a good person?
If could get a full citizenship in one country of your choice except the one you are currently living in, but would loose your current citizenship(s) - where would you want to live?
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>>736612610
>I'm no princess but hiya
all girls are princesses ;p
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>>736612758
>all girls are princesses ;p
That's a guy.
Well, most of the time.
I think.
But biologically
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>>736612610
Have you ever made a personality-test, if so, what personality are you? Do you feel like the result is correct?
On a scale of 0 to 20, 0 being extremely emotional and 20 being extremely logical - where would you consider yourself?
Are you always on the same area of this scale or does it change from day to day (hour to hour even)?
On a scale of 0-20, 0 being one of the dumbest and 20 being one of the smartest persons on the planet, as how intelligent do you view yourself?

In your experience: How well-informed is the average person on BPD?
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>>736612652
The tiddy
The peach faced lovebird
The heart
The black seedless grape
I want to but I don't consider myself a good person
CANADAAAAAA!

>>736612758
Kek that's a bit of a bold statement but I'm not a girl
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>>736613122
Yea, most of the time. I don't go dressing like a trap or anything though, it's just a theory I've developed in my mind for the huge differences in personalities.
>>736613201
I took that Myers Briggs test once for someone and I got INFP-T aka "The Mediator". I'm not sure if it really is that accurate but that might be just because of my constant changing.
I'd say I'm a constant 5 on the logical scale. I like to consider my mind more theoretical than logical if that makes sense, and I'm almost always emotional. However when I feel empty, I'm almost entirely logical and that can be hour to hour.
For intelligence, I'd say I'm between a 12-15. I'm no genius but I'm above average. However I feel like my intelligence has slightly decayed over the time I've felt the disorder has been it's worst.
BPD is pretty rare and is also one of the least well known disorders because people usually just regard them as psychos. After all there was a movie (I can't remember it's title) that set the stereotype of psycho bitches on girls with BPD but it's untrue. Barely anyone knows what BPD is and people who do still can't really grasp the things we go through and put up with in our own mind. That's why I always feel alone, because no one really understands me. Sorry for typing so much and taking so long
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Do you prefer totalitarianism or libertarianism?
Do you consider yourself left or right?
Do you vote?
Did you ever (physically) hurt someone in a fair way (1v1, opponent was able to give up, retreat)
Did you ever (physically) hurt someone in an unfair way? (attack from behind, opponent was not able to retreat)
If no, did you ever want to (physically) hurt someone? Did you ever want to emotionally hurt someone?
Did you ever want to kill someone (not yourself)?
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>>736614132
If someone was to send a full record of every illegal action you ever did in your life (with perfect proof that you did these actions) to your local police, how screwed would you be?
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>>736607311
Ayy lmao what up fellow sufferer. Are you male or female? I'm male and the shit is disproportionately rare amongst us.
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>>736614587
I don't concern myself with politics and I don't vote.
When I was only an itty bitty kid I took on a kid on my street for something so stupid. He was like 3 years older than me and I lost in like seconds. Other than that I've never had to fight anyone physically. I once did some heavy emotional damage to G because my bad personality took over, after that I wanted to kill myself because I felt so bad. A year later, G's boyfriend must of heard about it and started mentally torturing me thru text for what I'd done even though she'd forgiven me and I already felt terrible for what I'd done. It was then that I gotten the worst I had ever been and I threatened to kill him and I really meant it. That guy is my friend now, but thinking back then makes me so fucking angry at him.
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>>736614741
Fuck dude I'm not even sure because the laws around some of the things are a bit dodgy. If they weren't, I'd probably be living in a cell for a few years but I think given the circumstances, I wouldn't be too fucked.

>>736614813
Nice, I'm male too. There definitely isn't a lot of us around is there hey?
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>>736615287
And why didn`t you kill him?
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What's your reaction of this?
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>>736614132
Then what are the things you are going through?
What is the worst thing about your illness?
Does it have any positive aspects?
Are you currently in psychological treatment?
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>>736615652
Because then I WILL go to jail and I don't want that. If I could and get away with it I would because that guy fucked me over. I nearly got to date G and then he came along and took her for himself. I probably don't deserve her anyway though.

>>736615708
WOulD baNG. I love Super Mario 64 tho
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>>736615875
Constant mood swings, sometimes I feel nothing at all, I'm very easily irritated, I'm super anxious, I'm incredibly paranoid, it feels like a have a good personality and an evil personality, getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do everyday, my anger causes me to do things I never usually want to do, all my emotions are amplified and the worst thing that makes me want to die every day is my loneliness. I just want someone to understand me, love me and care for me unconditionally and just help me through these horrible times. But most people who I explain my problems to just abandon me or are unable to help. That's why I wanted to date G, she understands me the most out of everyone and hasn't left me this whole time, forgiving all my fuckups and the times that my bad personality gets the best of me. It hurts a lot. BPD makes my happy moments the best times ever because of the amplified emotions. It also makes love and passion so amazing when I do get it but most of the time I don't. Also sometimes when the emotions get way too hectic I've found out a way for me to just shut off all emotions but it often causes me to zone out on the floor or on the bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. I was in psychological treatment but I stopped going because it got to the point where she wasn't really helping me anymore.
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>>736616801
You mentioned that you had 6 friends. Are they not able to understand you or do they not want to understand you?

What does G do different than all the other people?

If you had a button that - if pressed - would instantly remove your existence, so you would feel no pain, regret and noone would have any memory of you or proof that you existed, would you press it?
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>>736607311
What would be your favorite way to die? (Must not be realistic)
What would you like your last words to be?
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How did you get your diagnosis? Did you go to a doctor on your own or did your family urge you to see one?
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>>736617535
I don't think they want to understand. One of my friends told me they were gunna google it and look into it once but then I never heard anything more of it from him. I usually conceal my symptoms when I'm around them anyway so that they don't have to put up with that side of me because I know they wouldn't if I let myself free.
G and I have a history. I've known her for about 3-4 years and shes the only friend I still have from that time. She's the only one who really cared and the only one who stuck around. These days she doesn't have much time for me because of studies and I respect that, she wants to get in the medical field and that shits tough. But she used to always talk to me everyday, and she would always know when something was wrong and she would always check on me. She showed her care for me almost every day and we would always play video games together and basically we spent the majority of our days together, happily. Whenever I was around her I was happy but that only made me more unstable if she did the smallest thing that I didn't like.
That's a really tough one. Life is supposed to be full of hardships that we get over right. But I feel like I've been such a burden to everyone I've met and that's all while I'm also in pain. I think I wouldn't press the button though, I need to beat this disorder and get better and then I can work towards having my dreams come true.
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>>736617717
Just to be like what >>736617535 said. Press a button and I cease to exist. I'd either wanna say something like "I love you" to G or family or something or I want some ridiculous last words that are completely random like "Suck my man meat" or "Hitler did 7/11"

>>736617886
Mum urged me to see a doctor because she was already seeing a psychologist and she thought it would be good for me.
>>
Do you consider yourself religious?
Do you think there is an afterlife?
Do you think in something as universal morals?
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How to I get grils
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>>736619579
Nope.
I partially believe in spirituality and I do believe there is an afterlife, I just don't have a set religion and I don't believe the afterlife will be all heaven and hell.
Yea I suppose I believe in universal morals
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>>736607311
How do i stand up for myself?
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>>736619746
You've come to the wrong place my friend. I'm the worst person for relationship advice because no one loves me, but just try to be kind and sweet to the woman. That's all I really got. Respect women.
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>>736615483
Yeah nah. It's been a 90/10 rate from personal experience. I was just reading through your thread and noticed a few key points I relate to. Just know it gets better with time in a way. Eventually your receptors burn out and only the strongest of emotions can trigger any feeling at all. It's numb and you realize everything is very petty. It's almost like a Transcendence or an evolution. I find it interesting we both have a singular female friend from years ago. That's very interesting.
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>>736607311
Would you consider yourself to be an optimist?
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>>736619746
Talk mad shit and abuse/manipulate them. You gotta make it mostly shitty but then incredibly great when it's good. The shitty times makes the good time even better and it's almost like Stockholm syndrome. Word of warning though, women aren't capable of love in the same manner that men are so pretty much avoid marriage if you can. After approximately 5 sexual partners they pretty much all lose the ability to pair bond and attachments become purely worldly.
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>>736620155
Really depends on the situation friend. The key is confidence, and if you don't have that, fake it till ya make it. Maybe stand yourself in a powerful stance, your body language can say a lot about you. What you do after that depends on the situation. If it's a fight, don't ask me because I have 0 fighting experience.
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>>736620706
Well i'd rather not go into detail, but i'm in a relationship i'd rather not be in. But i'm unable to fight back.
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>>736620398
We all have some things in common. Some stranger than others I guess. I just feel like the opposite gender seems more caring, and she's stuck around for so long so she's my favorite person.

>>736620574
That's a tricky one. I always try to be optimistic but there's always something at the back of my mind telling me things aren't gunna be ok and it's constantly trying to feed me pessimistic thoughts. It's not like a voice I can hear, it's more just bad thoughts coming from the dark corners of my brain

>>736620607
I'd say ignore this guy but he makes a strong point with the sexual partner biz. Try get yourself a virgin if possible. Otherwise, try to go for a girl that doesn't have much experience themselves. They have more love to give and are less likely to leave you
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>>736621409
Ah it's one of those situations. You're gunna have to tell him/her how you feel and just tell them that it's over. If they deny it, that's their problem. If you live together, try staying somewhere else for the night while you let it sink in. Other than that I'm not sure what to tell you because I've never been in that situation myself. Good luck!
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>>736621667
Same person lol. Older. You'll learn
>>
On a scale of 0 to 20, 0 being totally depressed and 20 being euphoric, how happy are you on average? To which numbers does it usually fluctuate on a normal day?
Thread posts: 52
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