So, it´s about time the /b/ar opens, come, tell your story or

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Payday is Friday. Going to get a 4 loko. Been 10 days since ive drank.

I'll just have a gin and tonic with lime, please.

>>736581064
yeah gimme a drink man, how's your life been?

>>736581313
a 4 loko? best wait for payday my man

>>736582085
coming right up. you seem as dry as your drink. Just here to drink?

I'll take three measures of baileys and one of rosas lime juice out of a hollowed out cabbage if you please

>>736582370
So far so good in my life, how about you?

THIS FUCKING JUKEBOX HAS BEEN PLAYING BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE FOR SIX HOURS STRAIGHT AND IT'S 98 FUCKING DEGREES OUTSIDE

REEEEEEEEEEEE

I'll have a Jack and coke, please.

smoked negroni pls

>>736582678
Just hit her three times and that ol´juke wil change the tune

>>736582678
(True story though, happened in the pub I work in today) Good fucking thing I'm a cook.

>>736582678
Baby its cold outside

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I'll have a Guinness

>>736582653
I´ll give you a caramel machiatto with your baileys until you ask for something stronger than a king alphonse or alfonso mate

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I'll have a cereal bowl filled with grain alcohol and a handful of whippets, please

Where's my sex in a dumpster? If you could, id like that cabbage piping hot

>>736582905
I wanna drink with this guy. More whippets over here, and toss a can of duster while you're at it

>>736582819
How about a real beer?

>>736581064
Ill have a milk, fine sir

>>736582923
Coming right up sir. Would you like a side of raw jelly beans with that?

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>>736582981

>>736582725
coming right up

>>736582904
Fine, fine, ill take a double of the cheapest brandy you have. Though the cabbage is not negotiable.

>>736582668
about the same. I'm nervous about my future but hopeful too i guess

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>>736582948
here, hit this ketamine and BARKEEP another bowl of grain alcohol and a whipped cream dispenser for the gentleman

>>736582981
With or without a clockwork orange on the side?

can I vape here?

I need a flagon of mead and a shank of of lamb. Bring me the finest boat of gravy to bathe in. Yes, i mean boat boat not table boat.

>>736583000
I am humbled, I do not have money however I can pay my tab with a fine lengthy tale of the pursuite of life and the human conciousness

>>736583043
I´ll give ypu some stuff just brought in from mexico. 13 reyes and a cabbage, coming right up

>pick Linkin Park - Crawling on jukebox
I'll have a vodka cranberry.

>>736583067
what´s got you so nervous?

>>736583072
K-ketamine? You're not the ECHO shirt tattoo guy a-are you?

>>736583079
The garnish would be appreciated thank you

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>>736583000

>>736583161
Wonderful, you're a scholar and a gentleman. THE NEXT ROUND OF KETAMINE IS ON ME!

>>736583134
no virgins, no service for boats of gravy

>>736583165
I´ll get you your vodka drink on the way to the door

>>736583137
the longer the tale, the longer your tab is gonna be paid. don´t forget to green text

>>736583306
Are you leaving?

>>736583190
Well I only have a year of college left and I guess I'm not quite ready to let go of stability and embrace the openness of the "real" world after graduation

>>736583134
Ill sell you a rams horn full of ether, a roast horse leg and let you bathe in me cabbage stewins for a meager 10 denari

>>736583137
As long as it's in greentext form at a rate of three lines to 1 line off your bill.

>>736583463
Keep the horse leg and double down on the ether for 13 denari.

>>736583617
You drive a hard bargin, meet me in the alley in 5...i need to stoke the fire under the cabbage

>>736581064
I'll take some Charlie if you got it. Get me some scotch with that

>>736583617
Anon that's a day and a half of work for two horns of ether and a cabbage stewin, be reasonable.

>>736582951
It'a one of the most real beers you can get you pussy bitch.

>>736583732
Ill not have you disparage my cabbage stew, its an old family recipe. And ill have you know that ether in haitian medical grade!

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>>736583718
Excellent! I'm glad we could strike a deal!
>>736583732
A day and a half of work for three days worth of forgetting anon.
>MFW ether binge

>>736583772
You're pathetic.

>>736581064
SHE SAID SHE LOVES ME
::(
>sips rum

>>736583386
No, you are if you keep ordering vodka drinks

>>736583825
Pishposh that stew can't be that great. Let me try some.

>>736583851
It's like 9% alcohol and you can get hammer drunk on three tallboys.

>>736583402
That hits all of all man, you just gotta try to think about your skills and goals and make a plan

>>736583936
Ay, have some, and let the sting of your words be cleansed by the morsel that is this stew...mind the hairs, they're meant for flavor, not for eating

>>736583922
Ok, I have one of your pussy drinks then. Miller genuine draft.

>>736584026
These are pubic hairs anon.

>>736583772
Yeah, sure. keep thinking that. I´ve got mexican stuff that´ll teach you the diff.

>>736584105
AYE THAT BE ME SWORDS FUR LAD!

>>736584146
You and that negro fella who washed his hair, nice lad.

>>736583906
You want to talk about it anon?

>>736583906
And then retacted? are we drinking cause she said it or cause she didn´t mean it? Another round of um coming your way.

>>736581064
lemme get a double of jack. neat.

>>736584033
Ok, an old fashioned, I´ll even make it with a lagavulin, not that you´ll know the difference.

>>736584350
coming right up, sir

Would you happen to have any cobra whiskey?

>>736581064
I invented a drink during my time in the Navy I dubbed the "man overboard" you drop a shot of sailor jerry into into a glass of 3 parts blue curacao 1 part midori. I'll have one of those if you can and a lagunitas IPA

>>736584199
Ah yes, seen the negro fella. At first I thought the barkeep said Negromancer instead of "negro mister" so I was all "What, a necromancer" and he was like "No, negro!" So I'm super confused at this point I ask "Why is a lich raising negros for an army when he knows damn well they won't work." and the barkeep says "NO! NOT NEGROMANCER! A NEGRO! A BLACK MAN! HE IS STANDING NEXT TO YOU!" and I turn to my right and get a heckin' good spook because, let's face it, it's pretty dark down here and he flashed some teeth to maybe try and say some hay mistuh to me but I had never seen a negro in person before, just the dick washer paintings and shit in Egypt. So I grab me shield and sit back down eyeing him over the rim and I ask him what brought him to this area and, and...wow this ether is stronk. Anyway, I fucked the negro boy. A lot.

>>736584600
Anything fo a sailor. If we don´t have the ingedients, we´ll get them for you.

>>736584553
I've got viper and constrictor whiskey, no cobra.

I have some cobra neutral spirits?

>>736584756
Itll have to do, after my time in khe sahn im addicted to the stuff. Literally. I will go into withdrawls if i dont keep at least some cobra venom in my veins at all times

I quit drinking. Hands shaking, seeing shit out of the corner of my eye constantly, so sweaty, slept maybe two hours last night, no sign of getting tired soon. How long before this stops?

>>736584650
He seemed a good sport, no extra charge!

>>736584890
Way to kill the vibe man.

>>736583369
I am quite tired for a story so I shal leave you with my personal journal instead. It is more of an interest to foriegn powers anyways.

>September 11, 2001
>8:30 pm
>norh pole exclusion zone

Me and a team of researchers are working for a black listed project formed by an international task force from every government in the world. Our primary objective is to organize a joint scientific and military operation to recon anomolies we picked up from the international space station in the north most region of the pole. We gather the snow crawlers and begin asining crawler teams. My team was set to go right to sect 6, the middle and most undiscovered area of the zone.

>10:00pm


We are approaching the zone now. The snow and ice is lifting with an increasing wind speed. The ice chunks rattle and pound away at the aluminum exterior of our snow crawler. My team has been optomistic of the mission and the only fear in the air is the thought of freezing to death in the storm. We will continue further and see what the next couple miles passed the ristricted dmv.

>11:35pm

We have reached the inner part of the zone. Our crawler seems to be having trouble pushing back against the wind. My team and I have been experiancing head aches. Will write more later.

>12:34AM

The head aches havent stoped. Visability has gone to 0% outside of the crawler and our instruments have been going haywire for the past 20 minutes. Time seems to be going very slow for my watch to say 12:37, or does it say 12:34?. My head still hurts will write more later.

>1:30am?

The head aches have gotten to the point I can hear a dog whistle type screech. Everyone is on edge. I have been counting the seconds since my last interval at 12:34. My watch says 1:30am but It should be exactly 3:30am!? I did not miss a second on my count.

>1÷732××893%^[9(?$^
Weve gone through. The edge. Its beautiful. Time doesnt exist here. Were here forever.

>>736584728
Thanks again, barkeep. I'm just gonna toss a coaster on top these here and go out for a smoke real quick. Here's my card, go ahead and start me a tab. I'll be back in a few.

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>>736583565
I wrote b4 I read terms. Gota go barkeep

>>736584890
Wrong crowd to ask thtat question mate. In here we embrace alcoholism

>>736585287
You can smoke in here friend.

>>736585562
Can we smoke...anything in here?

>>736585560
So what you're telling me is I'll feel better if I have a few drinks?

>>736585201
Either eal or not, this sounds like something you should send to Neil Gaiman.

>>736585595
Not like, hair, keep it smelling alright.

>>736585685
Not hair, just 100 percent pure detroit freebase

>>736585625
You´ll always feel better with a few drinks. What I´m telling you is you either decide stop drinking (and stop being in places that enables it) or embrace it. If you´re serious about talking about this leave your kik.

>>736585843
Do it to it homie.

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>>736581064
Say, friend - you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?

>>736585858
585858, neat.

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>>736581064
Hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd
Hair of the dog that bit me...

>>736583978
>>736582819
>>736583772


It's fucking 4.2% you absolute fucking moron, not only is it jack shit for alcohol content, it's thin as water and a complete fucking joke of a stout and not one true irish person drinks it.


Stouts are thick like old oil and nothing below 8%, please fucking kill yourself.


>I've had porters that put guiness to fucking shame

>>736585659
Whats his email?

>>736586097
The man couldn't even ask for an old rasputin, disgusting

>>736586097
Four Loko contains carbonated water, sugar, and natural and artificial flavoring including FD&C Red 40. The drink is either 6%, 7%, 8%, 12% or 14% alcohol by volume (ABV), depending on state regulations, and is packaged in 23.5 oz. (695 mL) cans.

LMGTFY

>>736586389
>calling guiness not a beer
>mentions shitloko

No one gives a fuck about your step up from bum wine, fuckboy.

>>736586496
>Thinking I was replying to anything other than the wrong ABV
Shiggydiggy son

>>736586789
>literally said guiness
>moron claims guiness is 8%
>guiness is fucking 4.2%
>still going on about pissloko

Again, you're a fucking tool and no one has mentioned 4loko on those related posts dumbass.

>>736586104
Easier for twitter, look him up and red his material, for real

A gallon of Bloody Mary made w habanerovodka please

>>736587229
Perhaps, maybe, just possibly, there is a chance, that i may have slightly in a way inadvertently kinda sorta need about tree fiddy.

>>736581064
A pint of Guinness please. How are you OP?

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>>736586496
this, seriously. Guinness isn't for everyone, but it is respectable for what it is. "4loko", especially in it's castrated, caffeine-free version, doesn't even belong in the discussion of alcohol worth drinking. It's fucking kool-aid for niggers with some shit alcohol in it

>>736587581
Guiness is that "i choked down a few in college and now kinda tolerate it and it's nostalgia" of dark beers.

>>736587581
>14%ABV for <$2
>Caffeine doesn't exist in other beverages

Got a bottle of tequila.
Going really far on this one already. It's going to hit hard soon..
Found out today that the girl I fell for lead me on. Admitted it to me today.
Also, my family and friends forgot my birthday.
What a life. What a life my dudes.
Gonna down some more.

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>>736585201
there are 195 "national" governments in the world... they ALL were part of your bullshit task force?

kys faggot

>>736587841
Teams of 6 from every country

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>>736587820
Cheers bro, been there too. Fuck it, work on yourself, birthdays are overrated anyways.

>>736588088
Cheers my man. Appreciate the reply nevertheless. Just another day down. Only a few more to go. Well, however many i want to put up with that is.