ITT: sexual confessions. Post something that you'd rather

>>736458521

Says pic is related. No fist.

Wat

one time I thought it'd be a good idea to see if I could get my balls in with my dick so I pulled the condom over my nuts.
Condom broke and now we have our 2nd child.
If you've never been literally balls deep in a pussy, you aren't living.

>>736458678
What part of things she shouldn't know didn't you catch? Not gonna get knuckle deep and pull out my phone to take a picture..
Not trying to ruin a good thing.

File: 49291117382274192110.0.jpg (65KB, 400x225px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 400x225px

bump with tits

I got drunk and woke up with a guys dick in my mouth. He ended up fucking me too

>>736459962
And you have a penis?

>>736460007
Yes

>>736460138
Yeah, I don't think I'd tell me wife that... or anyone I knew for that matter.

I fucked my female cousin a few times while I was with her

i like to occasionally do drugs and stick things in my butt. best masturbatory orgasm possible.

>>736461017
details?

>>736458521
>significant other
So you mean like 8% of this board can use your thread?

>>736461243
Are these numbers exact? I want to see your references.

>>736458521
so your wife is a size queen and she knows it and she probably knows you are attempting to fist her.. why not buy a toy with some girth and have fun..

>>736461580
We have toys with girth but they don't work the same.
There's something about hitting knuckles that makes her cum instantly.
And I'm positive she doesn't know because I brought it up once and it was immediately shut down cause she was afraid of becoming loose.

GF is the most boring lay I've ever had. straight penis-in-vagina and nothing else. When I say nothing I mean nothing. No clit stimulation, no fingering, doesn't give oral, no anal play, doesn't like toys, doesn't like restraints, etc etc. Straight sex in one of 2 positions, and yes one of them is missionary but not for procreation. Tried everything I can find online and asking several women friends to get her to be more open minded in the bedroom and have made zero progress in almost four years now. To top it off, her vag is shit now. She's done nothing to take care of herself over the years and it feels like sticking my dick in a glass of warm water at this point. Oh, and she doesn't shave. Barely even trims. Takes longer to get turned on and warmed up than a car in 20 below weather.

Basically, I guess I'd tell her she is the most boring fuck I've ever had in my life.

My wife was passed out drunk and I let my dad fuck her..

>>736461835
Sounds like you need to find a new GF.

My wife told a friend of ours that I liked being breastfed. This friend teased me about for a while and then told me that she has been masterbating about breastfeeding me. I told her to tell my wife so hopefully my wife will get into it.

>>736461811
oh vaginas don't work like that... my ex would take a huge toy that would stretch her out and I would feel like I was fucking a fleshy hallway. but the next day she was tight as usual. It also helps when your girl uses her pelvic floor muscles.. just saying feels great for both parties.

>>736461977
Fucking shit anon

>>736461835
man unless everything else is great in the relationship I would dip out and quick! I like to have passionate sex with my partners and being a boring fuck is well just boring.. I would just straight tie her up fuck her hard and make her call you daddy while you choke her, when she has the most insane orgasm ever she may start to change her mind.

File: 1497372684605.gif (78KB, 250x410px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 250x410px

I cheated on my girlfriend now i have strep throat.

I'd like to fuck my wife's mother.

>>736458778
This is so fucking stupid...

2/10 for baiting my response. Sheer retardation.

>>736460138
Faggot

My gf doesnt know that just a year ago i was sleeping with 15 and 16 year olds

>>736461243
thats a pretty generous number anon, calm down

I slip stuff into my girlfriend's drinks and rape her like every 2 weekends. Idk why, we have plenty of sex, I just cum so much better that way. I also keep pieces of her hair to smell while I'm at work.

>>736462162
I've kept my sanity by other means. But being in a relationship and being responsible for your own orgasm for the past year and change now makes me begin to question that sanity. I've had some friends cam for me (it's a bit of a fetish of mine) in the meantime and I've got a couple of hookups lined up this coming weekend. If I can just get rid of most of this pent up sexual frustration I have then maybe things can get better.

>inb4 don't cheat you'll feel guilty

I've had several talks with her about the stunning lack of sex and how she needs to try and meet me halfway. I've also asked about the possibility of having an open relationship and that was shot down quickly. So fuck it, at this point I have to take care of myself.

>>736462642
That's the shittiest thing. Everything else IS perfect. Sex is just something that matters very much to me in a relationship and she refuses to do anything about it. She's got serious self-image issues even with me, her boyfriend of the past almost four years now.

i want to pee on my gf, and also be pegged by her

>>736463097
how were they in bed?

>>736462245
Autism

>>736461835
Get the fuck out as fast as you can you dumb asshole

>>736463203
Some bad some ok, all with perfect body's, all were willing to get better

>>736463122
AWH <3

I want my gf to finger me as she blows me

>>736463381
how did you meet them?

>>736461835
shit sex life will ruin relationship man
gotta bail and find a better girl who enjoys the sexy time more

>>736458939
>/b/
>Retards

>>736463433
Work.

>>736463151
shit man that is rough.. not sure if cheating is the right answer but I can understand the frustration I don't think I would have lasted for 4 years. I think you should shock her and maybe she will crack out of her shell a bit.

>>736463517
what the fuck do you do that has 16 year olds working?

>>736461230
I'm 23 she's 18 or 17 and we've been fuckijng every once in a while since we were like 12 or so and we did it a few times...vagibal and anal. No bjs though which sucked

>>736463517
you work at the high school?

>>736458521
My girlfriend is annoyingly tight, can barely get 3 fingers in. It actually hurts to have sex without copious amounts of lube.

>>736463564
>>736463605
No my parents own an ice cream shop, and i basically run it.

I think my dick is broken from too much fappage cant stay hard for my wife during sexytime I think she gonna start looking for some dick at this rate

>>736463151
I feel like I'm like 2 steps away from this. I haven't thought about the cheating. But the whole GF of 4 years and 0 sex thing is relatable as fuck. Once this year. And that's it

>>736463527
The sex was at least frequent enough (albeit bland as fuck) to keep my attention the first few years but I don't even know what happened last year to warrant the sudden stopping of sex

>>736458521
I'm on marriage #2. I would never tell my current wife that I ate my previous wife's pussy after another man fucked her. (when we were still married). And it happened a few times.

>>736463726
Ah yes, the old ice cream/candy trick to get into kids pants...

There is always a hint of truth in jokes.

>>736463805
cuck faggot.

>>736458521
My girlfriend is super anti-drugs, but I have experimented in the past. I went clubbing a few weeks ago and took two caps, and she came and picked me up at 6am from the club. We ended up going back to hers and fucking.
Now I usually last 5-10 minutes during sex, but coming down off the molly, I was struggling and ended up fucking her for over an hour, dripping in sweat before I just faked an orgasm and gave up.

>>736458521
>Be me
>Be Bi
>Early on GF tells me that she thinks fags are gross
>mfw i bat for both teams
>Be tonight crave some dick
>Go back to adult video store
>get a booth and wait
>5 minutes pass cock peeks through hole
>OHFUCKItSREAL.Jpeg
>Been a while so dive on cock
>Suck it to completion
>stay there 4 hours
>service 13 cocks
>Gf doesn't know she fucks a cock slut

>>736463871
Hahaha i never thought of it that way. Its always been our unofficial policy to hire cute girls to run the front and guys to do the food service. I hire a lot of really pretty girls, and teens these days are wild, and dress like they are in their 20's

I got blowjobs from 2 different girls for a while and never returned the favor XD I like eating pussy, but only with girls I really like

My first blowjob was from a prostitute.

>>736464123
how many did you fuck?

>>736464218
AWH <3

>>736464218
I love eating pussy, so much so i get taken advantage of. I get so many booty calls where i eat them out and then get nothing in return.

>>736464118
so you don't want her to know you have the aids?

>>736463746
I dont believe much in the low libido shit.. their is probably something up and she isnt talking to you about it and thats her fucking fault.. fucking honest clear communication and dont say shit you dont mean just to make your partner happy you know..

Fuck I am bitter.

>>736464335
Quite a few ive worked there basically my whole life, met my first gf there when i was 14, and pretty much have been sleeping with girls there since. I think 32? I could be forgetting a couple

Be upfront with her. Hold nothing back, tell her how you feel and that if something doesn't change you'll be gone. Simple as that. You can easily find a girl better than her, there are literal billions of women out there, dont get hung up on some prude. Bad sex will ruin the relationship on her end as well yet she refuses to do anything about it. Things will get worse if you dont confront her this isn't just sexual frustration anymore, at this point you're putting up with nonsense for no reason. Op you've been together 4 years, its time to make a change or these shitty 4 years will span out the rest of your life.

>>736464356
Fucking lol'd. I hope you enjoy it at least otherwise that's sad, and probably dirty too.

>>736458521
Any more pics of your wife anon?

>>736464547
Do you live in a small town?

I don't see how you could sleep with 32 underage girls and not get caught...

>>736464534
Want some more salt to go with that? Two weeks ago I went to go make a move and I got a "I need to go clean the cat box" and got shut down. That is what lead me to take a two hour drive for a booty call from a mutual friend she and I know.

>>736464635
Dirty how?

>>736464815
other dick juice dummy

>>736464780
Your relationship is over.

Don't fall into the sunk cost fallacy. Just end that shit.

>>736464702
No its a fairly populated area. And about 10 of those were when i was underage as well

When I would have sex with my ex, I would often imagine that I was fucking other women, including, but not limited to, her younger sisters (she has 3, ages 8-12), her best friend, etc etc.

>>736463744
What kind of issues do you have to stay with a woman like that? You abandoned by a parent or something?

The only thing men get out of the unspoken deal we have with women is sex. when that stop, man-up and say fuck off.

File: 1451692057379.jpg (42KB, 576x419px) Image search: [Google]

42KB, 576x419px

>>736464384
Lol....

>>736464780
we are all voting get rid of her!! how are you two financially? is she dependent on you or other way around?

>>736464815
Eating multiple random girls out doesn't sound "clean" to me. Maybe they're not all trash though who knows, just don't get aids

>>736461835
Wow we have the same wife.

>>736464886
Also this

>>736464902
when was the last time you fucked one?

>>736464886
Oh, i dont think this was ever after they fucked someone else. I know a couple of times it was before they fucked someone

>>736463122
This isn't even rape...

>>736465060
>this is what happens when you wait to have sex until marriage

>>736465116
September. I have some that hit me up still, but i just ignore them outside of work.

>>736461811
Why does she need to stay tight is she with someome else or are you her final partner

>>736461835
My sympathy to all the anons like this, I know you're out there. Makes the rest of us appreciate what we have.

>>736465135
keep telling yourself that.

>>736463151
lol you're being cheated on and don't even know it

>>736465014
We both work for the post office so we're fine independently in that regard. I'm mainly staying with her just to avoid all the shit I'd catch from mutual friends. Cause "He left for sex, what a scumbag and blah blah blah" and I'd just rather not have that hassle in my life. Plus we have a place together with my best friend and I'd rather not have to put him in a situation where he'd be struggling to find a place.

>>736465261
Why ignore them?

>>736463726
Are you sure it isn't actually a pizza shop....

>>736465367
I think i would have tasted it. Ive been told by quite a few that no one is as good as me at eating them out.

>>736465429
that is a major need of yours in a relationship, that is obvious. she cannot satisfy this need for you and you are very unhappy.. that is good enough reason to end a relationship and you are just making excuses why its not a good idea.

>>736465555
QUADDDDDSSSSS

OF TRUTH!!!!

>>7364655 i want to be faithful in a relationship for once

>>736458521
i drug my wife occasionally. Have fucked her when she's been passed out. Really want to have one of my friends fuck her while shes out but I doubt any of them would do it

>>736461977
Details?

>>736465773
Bet you could get a stranger to do it

>>736465773
Is that you Bill Cosby?

>>736465404
Oh trust me I know I'm not. Not with her self esteem issues. Plus she has social anxiety like a son of a bitch and refuses to even acknowledge the existence of strangers when she's in public by herself. Plus she is the type of feminist who suspects every guy of ulterior motives that has even a passing conversation with her.

Honestly, even IF she was, I wouldn't even care. I asked for an open relationship and she had a mental breakdown at the mere mention of it. As far as I'm concerned it would give me an excuse to sleep with others.

>>736465630
Oh I know there would be a few friends who would understand. I just loathe drama in all forms and actively try and avoid it.

>>736465835

Probably, but it's riskier. I prefer someone that i can trust. Although, I would definitely let a stranger go to town

not really a confession I want to tell a SO because I dont have one atm but. There is this girl at work that is married and I want to fuck her so bad. she flirts like mad and I am stepping my game up but this could end terrible bad for a lot of people.

>>736465773
I blindfolded my gf and let my roomate fuck her without her knowing

>>736465630
It's impossible to end a relationship, you only change them into some other kind of relationship.

>>736466013

Impossible she didn't know. You watch?

File: Screenshot_20170506-105821.png (2MB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 1080x1920px

>>736463570
>no bjs
>sucked

No it didn't

>>736465982
You're an idiot.

She is seeking attention and you're just going to end up getting shut down if you make a move

>>736465918
I feel you on the drama. but just disappear man let the dust settle.

>>736463739
I had this problem. Stop porn and stop fapping. I was good after 2 weeks

>>736465010
> Niggers

>>736465555
Pizza?

>>736466148
I know.. the fucked up thing is I know this is the truth. fucked up thing is I like giving her attention because she gives it back if I am not there she will find me kinda thing.

>>736466075
Of course i watched and she had no idea

>>736466344

was she drunk/drugged or retarded? It's impossible she didn't know haha

The only reason i got my wife pregnant, was because i have a pregnancy fetish.

>>736466454
well how good was it?

>>736466406
None of them, just blindfolded

>>736466151
As tempting as it is to just pack up and go innawoods for a couple of weeks after breaking it off, I like stability more than I hate drama. I got a job where I make almost 20 bucks an hour and a good place to live in with my best bud who is essentially a twin of me just half-black. Other than the lack of sex, life is great. Depressing yet great

>>736466294
Cheese pizza

>>736466542

lol THEN SHE KNEW! How would she NOT know?? He is literally a different person. He smells, feels, sounds, and is completely different.

>>736466521
I loveeeee fucking women in that 3, 4 month range. I found a few before i met her that were already pregnant

Right before my family moved away I sucked a bunch of dicks at a sleepover when I was 12. I had almost 10 kids cum inside of my mouth. One of them brought lube and tried to stick it in my ass but it hurt way too much.

FF to now and the only way I can get off is my wife giving me a blowjob and me fantasizing about blowing a guy. I've never cum inside of her pussy..

>>736466602
He was hitting her from behind, and his dick is similar sized . She didn't know dumbass

>>736458521
The first time my ex suggested foreplay she said just punch it so I did

>>736466727
She's 100% sure you're gay. how convenient for her. Marrying a closeted gay guy skips half the work she has to do to settle with a good life by 40.

Her only downfall might be when she gets angry about not being able to have your desire and throws an emotional monkey wrench in her well thought out plan. she'll either cheat or go nuts if that happens.

>>736458521
I forgot to clip my nails before trying to finger my ex girlfriend. I'm pretty sure she got sick with like toxic shock or something

I used to spend summers at my aunt and uncles house. When we were 13 my cousin and myself decided to lose our virginities to each other. We spent the next 3 summers sneaking off to have sex. Now we barely speak to each other out of embarassment. I wasn't even invited to her wedding.

>>736467415
I think I accidentally scratched a girls g spot once. Your nails must've been nasty as fuck.

I worked for a few months as a shot boy at a gay club. I took a lot of randos into the bathroom to give them head for good tips, and i took home a different guy almost every night.

>>736467680
#aids

>>736467158
We recently found out that I have low Testosterone, and the doc said that could have an effect on not being able to climax or get all the way hard. I used to hit 6.5"x5" but now fail to even hit more than 5"x4.25".

She's questioned it before and it comes up occasionally. It doesn't help that she is overweight and completely unattractive. She's a christian that believed in abstinence before marriage (same here until about 7 years ago).

I'm not really sure what to do at this point. We're pretty happy where we're at except for be not being able to cum with PIV sex. She's uncomfortable with pegging me too so that sucks.

>>736466305
you're blue balling yourself you faggot.

Cut her out.

>>736458521

When I was 14/15 this 28 year old girl used to send me nudes and call and have phone sex she had a fiancé. Simpler times before I was red pilled

File: wtfdog.jpg (41KB, 711x669px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 711x669px

>>736467449
kek

>>736467991
post the nudes faggot

>>736468066
?

>>736467902
Ah, well than you're both idiots who deserve each other. I read that situation wrong.

My bad for assuming women can think.

File: Muslimwut.png (459KB, 777x438px) Image search: [Google]

459KB, 777x438px

>>736468172
seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

>>736468383
What do you mean you people? Its not like its that weird. Its not like i fucked my sister.

File: 1483338804763.jpg (20KB, 663x663px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 663x663px

>>736468514
nigger, you fucked your cousin.

That's beyond fucked. That's why she's not talking to you

>>736465918
So, she secretly resents you for holding her back sexually. She knows she settled too early and wishes she had the confidence to rake it in. Fuck, you literally miss every sign

>>736468650
Ya but its not like it was a one time thing. We fucked hundreds of times over the 3 summers. I know its weird, but we both did it. Idk why she shunned me like she did.

>>736464118
I love adult video stores. It's the most fun you will never tell anyone about

>>736468799
Because when you grow up, you realize how fucked that is and you begin to try to shut that part away you mong.

>>736468781
You've clearly not read everything else I've posted in this thread. She is the one who has no imagination in the bedroom. I've been trying to get her to come out of her shell since the relationship started.

>>736465609
You can't taste AIDs.

>>736462803
God that art is hideous but fuck me the concept is gold.

>>736468994
Asians are all related so you can't judge.

>>736469078
You obviously don't know how it works when you tell a woman she is boring in bed. Ffs, you are a moron.

>>736469141
I don't have aids

I like to carve chunks of flesh off of my body during sex so i can make my gf eat it... it's a very exciting fetish we both have but it's becoming dangerous as i'm running out of places to slice bits off... thoughts???

>Find a couple on CL
>Ends up being a cool laidback older cuck couple
>Fuck the wife weekly for the past 3 years
>Fucking outside
>Fist her
>Watersports
>Creampies all the time
>All in front of him
>Can't tell anyone because everyone thinks I'm a kissless virgin

>>736465609
You can't taste small amounts of sperm in a vagina. I'd fuck a guy then have another one eat me out after and never been able to tell.

File: timetostop.gif (1MB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 480x270px

>>736469211

>>736469348
Slut

>be at a club
>meet this thicc latina slut
>she was dancing with a scrawny beaner but i came up behind and started to work the moves
>she was into it and started giggling
>beans realized what was what so he fucked off
>couple of hours later and plenty of drinks for her I took her away to my car and we fooled around
>Her friends came out looking for her since she was pretty sauced so I had to hide and not move much
>After I saw them talking with security before heading out I decided to just head back to my pad with her discreetly
>back at my place I supported her while she made stupid drunk comments every 10 seconds
>finally after taking her to my room I just ripped her clothes off her and used her like a toy for a few hours
>after that I felt a little bad
>but she just woke up and saw me and was actually pretty cool
>asked me my name again and told me she had a great night
am i gonna be arrested? she keeps texting me and she doesn't seem to hate me...

>>736469348
You're fucking disgusting.

No wonder women are not being wifed up. I pray to the higher powers that nobody>>736469348
ends up with your nasty ass

File: giphy.gif (880KB, 450x192px) Image search: [Google]

880KB, 450x192px

>>736469078
Try a compliment, you over critical sperglord. Do you think she will want to rim you if you keep telling her how vanilla she is? She has probably already lined up burly dicks that Inouye how to make her feel validated like a real slut. Something you forgot while trolling for insecure slits in the dl. You are a fucking idiot

>>736469227
>something you'd rather not tell your significant other
^ topic of the thread ^

I haven't outright told her she's terrible in bed. I've always brought things up in a manner of "Hey, what if we tried X?" or "Well maybe you'd be interested in Y"

>>736469528
Too late lololololololol

>>736469682
If she is so stupid age can't understand what you are getting at how the fuck did you think you were the clever one marrying her? Are you really that stupid? Lies are social in nature, do you really think she buys all your bullshit wholesale, Moriarty?

Fucking idiot.

>>736469834
I'd suggest killing yourself and making the world a better place

My wife has fucked me with dildos, my favorite being a big nine inch one that vibrates. She makes me cum and feeds it to me or dribbles it on my face if she is blowing me while I get fucked, or she makes me lick it up when I cum on the bedspread. I want it all the time, but if I ask her to fuck me too much she starts to worry that she's not enough to sexually satisfy me. The truth is that I love being fucked and talked to dirty, but I DO want her to do it. I want to be deepthroated by men who cum all over my face, but I want my wife to be the one shoving my head down on their cocks. I want her to be the one jerking their cocks over my thirsty lips. It may seem sappy, but I love my wife, and I want to sexually explore with her by my side. I've got one fantasy that I've been thinking of telling her about. I want her to bring my best friend's girlfriend over, like I come home and they're sitting at home drinking a couple beers and giggling about something but they won't say what. They coax me into the bedroom with knowing smiles. The make me undress and tell me I'm a good boy. The girl slaps me in the face and tells me to bed over. They play with me and lick me and pinch me. They start spanking me and telling to beg to be fucked. They take out toys and make me choke and slobber all over them before they start fucking me. They make me cum while they're fucking my ass and my throat, tugging on nipple clips. They smear my cum over my face and kiss me and lick it off.

>>736469996
Nah

>>736469996
If you think this is worthy if kys then you need to take a good look at the real world you miserable fuck. You should do real shit like get quads.

>>736470443
Go follow her and slit your wrist you fucking cuck

>>736470596
Let me get quads real quick

>>736470715
Fuck it I'll settle for dubs

File: FB_IMG_1491984605802.jpg (8KB, 480x270px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 480x270px

Nothing I don't tell my wife - we're both freaks.

But:
When I was little I liked slamming my balls under the toilet seat.

I (sorta) buttfucked my best friend when I was 7 or 8 - later learned he was the first person my sister kissed.

I used to practice shibari rope bondage on my (clothed) cousin.

I made a buttplug out of a coping saw when I was 12.

When I was 14 or so, i tested out the Tenga Flip-Hole to see how many uses I could get from it (they promised 50, I got 168)... i gave my mother frequent updates on this "project"

Not really sexual, but I was such a fan of Tenga that I made a Tenga costume and when to an anime convention wearing it.

>>736470715
>>736470894
Kil yourself

>>736461835
Just lube up your cock and shove it up her ass. Hold her down by the throat - treat her like the useless piece of dog meat she is. She's either switch on, or leave you.

Either way, you win!

>>736462805
You and me both. And recently we said that my wife and I, our side would not have any of the family drama. And then I said "well fine then, I guess I'll just have an affair"
And she said "yeah, with me! That'll be drama!"

I'm thinking she is down.

>>736471079
Still trying for dubs

>>736461161
same bro, feel gud, least when im high on amphetamines

>>736463744
The world works like this, Anon. Women are only useful and desirable when they fuck. After that, why the hell would you want to deal with all the noise the vagina life support system creates? And women will only stay engaged in the relationship when there's money.

>>736469457
why the fuck would you be arrested if she had a great time?

>>736471326
Should be trying to slit those wrists

Gf is a sub, and I love being a dom, but I'm also into sissy shit and I want her to dress me like a girl, tie me up and fuck me in the ass sometime. I'm afraid to tell her that though.

>>736471533
kek you got dubs when the other faggot was trying to

>>736460138
was it good?

>>736471533
this fucking queer

>>736471005
why tell your mum?

>>736471533
Someone's butt butt hurt ?

My woman and I love to trade off as "bad daddy" and "bad mommy", abusing the other. Best sex for us.

>>736471767
kek you are extra salty. Might want to use that salt to put on your wrists when you split them open.

>>736458521
without her noticing? how fucking fat is your wife mate, she is gonna notice you sticking 2 fingers in there or 5 knuckle deep... fucking retards on here

File: 2013-02-28 23.14.23.jpg (313KB, 960x1280px) Image search: [Google]

313KB, 960x1280px

i like making girls do coke off my dick. they get addicted

>>736463151
Married 14 years...
Wife likes sex to be her on top, she comes in about 4 miniutes, and i have to race to keep up, she hates oral on her, but i get a couple of blow jobs a year, still tight after 2 kids though..
My advice, if everything else in your relationship is peachy, just suck it up, good woman is hard to find, and ones who fuck like pornstars are usually fucked in the head..
Go elsewhere for your excitement if you have to, but dont throw out the partner over what happens in bed, there is just not that many decent women out there..

>>736465005
you got a lot of living to do there child

>>736471899
Because I was homeschooled and thus had literally nobody else to talk to and so I tried to be weird so at least people would talk to me.

One time after we had been drinking and my gf was wasted, I decided it would be fun to take a short tube and stuff it into her anus. Then I spread my ass cheeks and sit on the other end of the tube so that it went up my ass hole as well.
I'm a pretty big guy, and I had finished off a few bean burritos and washed them down with beer about an hour ago, so I was about to burst with extremely high pressure voluminous fart gas. So I just bore down as hard as I could and forcefully blew it into her ass.
She is a lot smaller than me, and I was pumping so much fart into her body I saw her belly distend very slightly. She said she had very severe cramps after I finished, and I guess the pressure moved stuff around because she had to poop really bad right after. She sat on the toilet and farted kind of loud on the toilet and shot her poop out really fast.
After that she couldn't stop farting for the rest of the night. Every time she farted it relieved a little of the pressure but she had so much of my gas inside her it took all night for her to finally fart the rest of it out and I guess her body absorbed the rest of it.

>>736466828
She knew. She might not say something but she knew

Some time ago I was contacted online by an 11 year old girl who said she liked talking to older men. So we talked, about school and music and Harry Potter. I still don't know if it was really an 11 year old or an undercover pedo hunter

>>736473250
Congratulations. You made a gov't watchlist

>>736473142
so hot

I worked overnight at a hotel. Drunk bitches wanted to use the hot tub after hours so I let em. When they were done, I took 1 in the back laundry room and fucked her on the dirty sheets pile. Im married with 5 kids

>>736461835
Is your gf my wife? Though my wife loves to be rimmed and will suck my cock but never till I cum, ever, in twenty plus years

Yours sounds worse tbh

I have a few.

She has no idea about 4 Chan
I watch porn daily
I like to get her wasted and fuck her ass then her mouth.
One time she was so drunk I was fucking her ass while looking at girls we know on FB.
I cum in her coffee creamer.
I cum in her yogurt.
I cum in cottage cheese she eats.
I have cummed on her face when she was passed out drunk.
I post her nudes on here.

I want ideas of what else I can do to here.

File: 1495168327615.jpg (237KB, 1280x960px) Image search: [Google]

237KB, 1280x960px

>>736458521

i want to be locked in chastity, pegged, feminized, and cuckolded so badly, but in know it will ruin everything

>>736475002
Post nudes

>>736475002
Get her passed out and post videos on here. Dedicate a thread to /b/tards telling you what to do to her and share

>>736461977
dude nice

When i was with my ex her dad and i used to bullshit about the women we have been with and the shit we would do to them. He ended up telling me all the shit he could get her mom to do and the conversation went the route of suggesting to each other new things to try. Now that i think about it he was probably thinking of his daughter while fucking his wife he would get really into the conversation. It actually was pretty interesting finding out how degenerate her mom was. Too bad his daughter was bat shit crazy.

File: Screenshot_20170620-220349.png (882KB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

882KB, 1080x1920px

>>736475243

>>736463564
Not op but teens are usually customers where I work lol

>>736475221

are you me? i want the same exact lifestyle

>>736475733
Nice, That looks like a nice pussy. Closeup or one of you fucking her?

>>736458521
She had an orgasm and you stop? Are you stupid?

File: Screenshot_20170620-222004.png (1MB, 1080x1920px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1080x1920px

>>736476515
Unfortunately I just got a new phone. I don't have close up of full frontal

>>736463151
Are you a masochist? Cause you sound like a masochist.

>one weekend girlfriend goes out of town
>by happenchance, get invited to housewarming party in my building several floors above mine (in high rise).
>whynot.jpg
>show up fashionably late, numbers are thin, so figure i'll hit the fully stocked liquor cabinet hard before drifting home and passing out.
>passing out happened, but not due to alcohol.
>and not in my bed.
>last drink of the night was made by party host.
>only me and some other guy left, so he created some sort of kamikaze shooter and raised glass before throwing it back.
>i of course did the same, only difference is i made it back to the couch just in time to begin forgetting everything.
>no recollection of a single moment until i was suddenly conscious and aware of firm pressure directly against my very lubed asshole and a hard grip on my side.
>i couldn't at all understand what was happening - all i could do was instinctively position my ass into an angle that resulted in the least pain.
>this of course allowed the host's big hard dick to grab on to the lube and push right on in to my ass, filling me up until i felt his balls hit mine and his hand reach in and roughly stroke my dick.
>*lights out again*
>didn't regain awareness until 9am the next morning, waking up to find my underwear completely stained with shit laying on ground, my ass squeeky clean.
>asking no questions, i put my pants on, grabbed jacket, and went directly home...
(cont'd?)

>>736469256
Your the one person who has my same fetish that I've come across. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. And god I wish I didn't tell my wife I used to do this now she won't touch me lol

>>736477316
Cont

>>>736477777
>So, who gets...?

>>736469256
Don't cut yourself on all that edge

>>736477485
>>736477316
>as i waited for the elevator down, i could already tell something extreme had happened last night.
>a dull throbbing was coming from deep inside my anal cavity, matching the beat of my heart.
>i took a deep breath and let it out, trying to calm everything down.
>in doing so i also clenched my ass muscles and actuated a tightening of the sphincter that instantly resulted in a sharp pain shooting to the back wall of my anus and me almost falling to my knees.
>*ding*
>finally the down arrow lit up and i went 10 floors down to my apartment and went straight to the bathroom
>by this time, snapshots of the night were returning, including the memory of waking up mid ass rape and feeling another man's aroused dick fill me up.
>i've always had girlfriends that were in to ass play so have some experience with the sensation.
>replaying the night in my head suddenly made me rock hard as i asked myself a series of questions....
(con't....)

>>736464118
That happens at adult vid stores? Where Tf you live

>>736478272
Bump

>>736472290
Is that you karlos

>>736478272
>questions such as "why did i wake up with my pants off? why were my boxer briefs covered in shit? was i dreaming, or did i wake up during the night in the middle of being raped in the ass? am i still dreaming, or did the experience create a raging fetish to want to be fucked again? how can i make it happen again?

>answering the last question, of course, first required acceptance that i was okay being sodomized against my will (or should i say without my consent...since i didn't really resist).
>as i made it past this emotional acceptance stage, I started fantasizing about what exactly happened that night.
>this resulted in an immediate hard on as i realized he likely fucked my ass over and over before cumming inside of me.
>then the light bulb went off and the start of the craving began...as i grabbed a small bowl, got into a squat, and guided my asshole directly over it.
>holyfuckingcreampiebatman.jpg
(cont'd)

>>736458939
clearly she likes it faggot, if she came buckets

>>736458521
>took gf on trip to San Fran
>went to red light district to see porno show
>go to one of those booths wear you pay money and window slides up and nekked women is dancing
>start making out heavily and fingering
>GF loses earring
>Search floor for earring
>hand touches a pile of cum on the floor
>pause in fright
>sparks idea
>scoop up cum in my fingers
>shove my fingers as deep as I can in GFs snatch
>turn her around and fuck her from behind
>she moans out loud in orgasm
>i cum buckets
>cum spills out her cunt and spills on floor for next guy

>>736480757
>>hand touches a pile of cum on the floor
>>pause in fright
>>sparks idea
>>scoop up cum in my fingers
>>shove my fingers as deep as I can in GFs snatch

"And that is how my first born son ended up being black...."

I had a vasectomy 2 years ago without telling my wife. I now have a 2 month old child. I don't know if the surgery failed or she's fucking someone else. I've got to take the baby for a dna test in a weeks time. It's taken a while to find someone who was willing to do the test without the mothers knowledge.

>>736458521
My girlfriend and I have the same dildo.

>>736481111
Primary quads

>>736480955
>took some time
What state? Cause here in Wisconsin I get pat tests done all the time without people's knowledge

I'm cheating on my wife with my physical therapist, wife gave up got fat,
therapist is 25 and a 10/10

>>736481391
UK, something about the Human Tissue Act 2004

I'd love to have a threesome with my wife and another dude. No gay stuff just fucking her.

>>736481111
Oh shit, I got quads. This is now a get thread.

>>736463122
what do you drug her with

>>736481977
Oh shit nigga, from quads to dubs

I have less sex desire since I had my left nut removed (tumor).
Still love to watch pictures but not some porn after the 2 mn mark.