Alright guys. I'm going to a strip club for the first time

by not going, get a big sack of weed and just jerking off instead.

>>736455733
Buying an escort for an hour would be more straight forward...

>>736455843
I planned on doing that earlier in the day Friday.

>>736455843
>by not going
/thread

>>736455934
True. Most of the posts on my local Backpage are fake and LEOs are pretty tight about streetwalkers.

>>736455733
Strip clubs are boring. It's just a massive cocktease. Just go spend that money at a bar and pick up a girl you can actually fuck.

>>736456214
But I'm too fat and autistic.

are u going alone?

u do not need to spend 200 bucks u nigger.

>>736456263
Yes

>>736456157
How are most ads fake?

buy 2 songs and 2 vips.

you'll have enough left over to buy yourself a drink afterwards.

>>736455733
Drink some beer or a well drink. Pay for them cash. Plan on drinking 3 drinks before you go and just maintain a buzz.

Pass on any girl you don't REALLY want dancing on you.

Find the one you think is best and literally send your waitress to get her, or walk up to her while you're on your way to the bathroom and tell her to come over when she's done doing whatever.

Have her sit in your lap, but. It start dancing. Tip her $20 and just tell her you know what's up and talk with her while you grope her... make it funny light hearted conversation.

Do that for a while, get a dance, tip, repeat. You'll get the most out of her that way too... I usually finger them and get jerked off some...

Sometimes being funny and real you can fuck her after for dinner out or something. Don't go late though- that won't happen late unless you have coke or something.

If you don't like her you can make her move around just by saying so. Rinse repeat.

>>736456380
They're all photos that are obviously from some model and link to sites like ADULTSEX biz and shit like that.

>>736456495
Nah. Just browse more. I live in a medium/larg e city and most ads are not fake.

But = tip
Next sentence should read "don't have her start dancing."

>>736456468
you like to go while the sun's still up, in your sweat pants, don't you.

>>736456641
Thanks. Any more advice? What if somebody sits with me and I'm not interested?

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>>736455733
Where do you live?

US strip clubs are bull shit.

If you are anywhere close to Mexico and not some pussy I would say go to Tijuana.

Their strip clubs are... Let's say... Hands on

>>736455733
>How can I get the best value out of my money?
savings account

>>736456915
Southwest Michigan.

>>736456789
just say you're not interested...? they don't just rub on you and expect you to pay, they ask if you want something.

>>736457000
>savings account
>not stock/long-term investments
spot the poorfag

>>736455733

With that amount of money, your best bet is to just sit by the stage and tip one dollar at a time.

If you had a bunch of money, you could go back for a while and just ask for and see your one favorite stripper. When you do that, they get pretty friendly.

Will get more value at an Asian MP, not a strip club. The VIP fee is likely $75, then you'll have to negotiate a tip for BJ or FS or whatever.

>>736457066
He's autisismic cut him some slack

>>736457133

It's $200

>>736455934
This brother.

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>>736456915
With $200 you can get a lot of mileage there.

Entry-free
Beer-$4
Beer for the strippers/hookers-$8 (better than a USA lap dance)
Girls on the street-200 peso ($~12)
Top tier Girls in the clubs-$80-100

>>736457330
Aids-Irreversible

>>736457330
but they're all mexican.

Sit at a video poker machine, if they have them.

If you don't like the girl that's currently dancing,
don't tip them - you're playing video poker instead.

This works really well in some Oregon places where the chicks get off the stage
during their set and walk/dance around the bar for tips.

>>736457464
And they're all dark and their pussy juice will probably get you sick. Mexico water is dangerous for American tourists!

>>736457205
so he'll have to wait a year or more for $1.00 one whole dollar. brilliant.

>>736457158
How do parlors work? Do I imagine they do a fair amount of legit messages. Is there a code word?

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>>736457412
Condom dumbass...
Also girls in the clubs are required to have a valid health card that has to be renued every 2 weeks.

>>736457523
mexico's water can be dangerous for anybody depending on the source.

>>736457550

You replied to me, but you're not able to communicate well enough to be understood.

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>>736457464
Yes.. Most are Mexicans... What's your point?

>>736456287
y are u going to the club alone? do u have no friends?

I would not reccomendd spending 2 hund at the strip club alone that is just sad.

>>736457710
No friends.

>>736457412
Wrap it up you chicken-shit turd-burglar

>>736457710
Scratch that. One friend, who is actually a dancer there.

>>736457670
savings accounts are horrible places to obtain any value for your money.

the interest rates are negligible, especially if you have such low funds. it would take over a year to get a single dollar for having only $200 in your bank account.

now that I've spelled it out as if you were a child, do you understand?

>>736457589
Oh wow. How valid is their health card?
>c-c-c-an I see your health card before I fuck you?
>no hablos gringo

Strip Clubs are ZzzZzzZzz

I'd rather hit up a bar, buy some women drinks, and talk about random shit. Maybe you'll be lucky to take one home for the night, maybe not. I don't know, I just think it's more productive than a strip club.

>>736457589
Probably not in mexico

Guys I want advice for my visit not banking and cross country trips

Best value = don't go

>>736457931
>facepalm.jpg

>>736455733
Don't go to a strip club. If you're that hard up to get laid, just offer random skanks money for sex. Start under 200$ if they refuse, ask them what price, try to get a deal.

No matter how much you spend, you WILL NOT get laid at a strip club.

>>736455733
Tell the girls you don't have any money. They give you money to throw at them. Then take the money and leave. Made about 900,000 dollars doing this so far

>>736458025
now's the time to invest, OP. some mutual bonds may do you good.

>>736458066
Now that isn't true.

>>736457940

It's laughable how different this response is to the former. You included nothing at all that was important to your message in the previous post. You are an absolute fucking idiot.

>my original point was that investing $200 is pointless

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>>736457330
Unlike the clubs in the US, you can touch anything you want for a simple $1 tip. Grab some ass tits pussy...

They have soap shows where 2+ girls get naked and fuck eachother.

For $3 they handed me this power too to use...

>>736458125
kek

>>736458130
but those dubs.

Save for a tinder date.

>>736458125
Will Rockstar patch the exploit?

>>736457941
Just ask before you take them to the room. And always end pay after you're done

>>736458211
what about POF?

>>736455733
by not going and getting a better job and spending less

>>736458010
Why do you say that?

>>736458211
I'm engaged lol

>>736458154
my original point was that there's no value in holding on to 200 bucks and putting it into savings.

>and learn how to greentext for fucks sake

1.Spend $200 on drugs
2.Share $50 of drugs with girl
3.Fuck girl
4.Take $150 worth of drugs

>>736455733
Ask the door man to send over the knob queen. You'll pay him about 20, and her about 50. Then go home and drink tea.

>>736458334
>being this degenerate and buying drugs
Just off yourself m8

>>736455733
holy shit, don't waste your money on a strip club. find a hug'n'tug asian spa instead.

>>736455733
>How can I get the best value out of my money?

Buy stock in Ford and wait 5 years

You'll triple your money

>>736458431
>being this intolerant of drug users
m8 just yourself off

Get a dance then giver her the tip

>>736458282
Narrow world view I guess.

>>736458498
>ford
>not going the way of other car manufacturers

it might survive another 5 years. but I doubt it.

Yea, Really just something you don't need to experience.

>>736458444
You got trips I'll listen. How do I initiate the non massage part?

>>736458498
>in Ford
lmoa

>>736458154
>Actually thinking that investing $200 is pointless

And that is why you will always be poor.

>>736458704
>>736458647
People were laughing about Domino's pizza too 5-6 years ago

Since then, their stock is up almost 900%

People laughed at Bitcoin saying it was only currency for the silk road in 2013-2014 ish

Stay poor, fags

>>736458682
if it's legit they'll offer it at the end for more money, they'll point and say something cheesy about ending or feel your ass and balls more than they should toward the end of the message.

i'd rather go to a strip clubs. tug job places are kind of not worth it. i'd rather get a regular massage by a hot girl, n/happy ending. then go for a few drinks and throw money at a strip club. i'd get about 2 private dances with different girls and just just enjoy the show for a bit. i like my dances toward the end, so i can see my options, i don't jump at the first girl that gives me attention. i also gauge who i want to have my money some bitches have a bad attitude.

>>736458925
yep I'm sure ford is really going to turn it's shit around.

I don't understand the appeal of strip clubs

Why do people go?

>>736458331

>so he'll have to wait a year or more for $1.00 one whole dollar. brilliant.

That was your original reply to me. You are a fucking retard that can't communicate.

>You are retarded.
>Suck it.

>>736458682
if you're near windsor, go across the border and have a good time.

>>736459607
This. Just go to Canada where prostitution is legal and get an escort from a reputable site

>>736455733
What city do you live in or more specifically where are you going?

>>736457464
there's asian, white, black girls in there too. but yes most as in 75% are mexican.

>>736459420
you can't go five seconds without spewing insults and you want to talk about communication issues?

I'm sorry if you're too illiterate to understand what I wrote, but that's a personal problem on your end.

next time pull your head out of your ass before you try to use the computer.

>>736455733
Dont buy dances. Buy a girl a " drink " they cost 10-20$ she will sit and talk for a bit. Longer then a dance as they try and milk more money.

>>736455733
You can get the best value out of your money by NOT going to a strip-club, you fucking idiot. For $200, you could actually have sex with a very attractive escort. If you spend $200, and go home with blue-balls, you are beyond cucked. And yea... cumming in your pants like a mental-retard = getting cucked.

>>736460075

Your reading comprehension skills are nonexistent. You are an idiot who should not procreate or even live another day.

>>736460114
>cuck
not sure you know what that means. I don't see any shillary supporters in this thread. do you?

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>>736459863
is not

wear a condom for the lap dance then u can cum in ur pants

>>736460300
A cuckold gets humiliated and teased with pussy he's not allowed to have. That's the strip-club experience in a nutshell.

>>736460270

I'll get right on that faggot, right after I fuck your mum

>>736460534
>humiliated

you must have never been to a stripclub.

>>736460300
It's over guy.

>>736460646
DON'T YOU TELL ME I'VE HAD ENOUGH I'LL TELL YOU WHEN I'VE HAD ENOUGH

>>736460114
If you know where to go you can usually get laid for like $100 at a strip club

>>736455733
Private dance... The "songs" only last 1-2 minutes. They cut the songs short so you're better off with the 15 min.

>>736460617
The entire experience is a humiliation... where the creepiest and most undesirable betas go to literally pay for attention and teasing from women who think they're pathetic, and spend all their beta-bux on cocaine and outfits to turn on their boyfriends at home.

>>736460854
I don't know it seems to me just sleazy guys. not necessarily beta or humiliating.

humiliation is subjective either way, what might humiliate you is run of the mill for someone else.

some plp are so broke that paying money for anything makes them triggered, cant throw stacks at bitches so they mad, keep telling urself that pussy

>>736461301
This nigga gets it

>>736461399
shut up op.

>>736461301
This is why niggers are always poor
They think paying for "bitches" is cool and investing is only for white people.

>>736461301
Wtf are you talking about? I make 140k/yr. I would never set foot in a strip-club.

For $200, you could take your pick of anything on this page, you complete moron.

http://newyork.backpage.com/TherapeuticMassage/?keyword=200&layout=gallery

>>736460534
I fingered and ate a girl out last time. Don't have herpes either. Woo.

>>736461567
What is your profession? Stripper?

Gay

>>736455733
Buy the old lady at the door a drink and ask her which of the girls will fuck you in the club for $100.

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Help me take the flag from the corner

Go on Backpage and get a girl who will take care of you dingaling

>>736462159
>ate a girl out last time.
from a strip club? oh man.

>>736457589
Going to be honest op.
Most woman are so disloyal today screwing a hooker who follows health regulations is probably still better than picking up a girl in a bar.