You wake up in 1938 Germany to find that YOU are Adolf Hitler.

Fuck your grandma

>>736155800
kill ALL the jews and prevent them from leaving the country with all their assets

Start the production of winter clothing.

Kick italy the fuck out of my alliance.

>>736155800
Prepare to invade Russia in early spring and don't stop the northern armor thrust north into the oilfields to redeploy south into a useless urban center over a pissing match with a drunk bearfucker.
And fuck Eva Braun in the ass. Repeatedly.

invade canada

Give the whole artist thing another try

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>>736155800
come up with an ultimate solution

>>736155800
Team up with America and rule the world

>>736155800
Use all my knowlege of the war to achive an easy victory. Also, develop nukes before anyone else. Change the policies a little to appear as the "Strong Empire that unites the Europe to achive a better future" instead of being the bad ones.
After defeating my enemies claim most of Europe and lead the world towards unity, prosperity and progress.

>>736155800
Wipe UK from the map this time

>>736155800
Find op's family and exterminate them.

Find a uranium tile and rush nukes

Its a tough choice. I kinda want to continue with the original plan but with improved tactics. On the other hand I could team up with Russia and rape the sand niggers to non-existance

>>736155800
Invade Poland

>>736155800
Do a 180 and turn Germany into a communist country. United with the Soviet Union I would attack the United States

Finish the job.

Be glad I have second chance

>>736155800
Dress up like a jew

>>736155800
About three fiddy

>>736155800
Furiously masturbate in front of the mirror

>>736155800
Realize I can't speak German properly and panic.

>>736155800
GET JAPAN TO INVADE RUSSIA
GET JAPAN TO INVADE RUSSIA
GET JAPAN TO INVADE RUSSIA

>>736155800

I do everything I can to ensure that I copy his actions to the letter, including every stupid decision that lead to defeat, in order to prevent a paradox from destroying the universe.

>>736160977
Only logical answer there is.

>>736155800
carry on as normal until Dunkirk
then push hard to capture the entire allied forces on the mainland
then offer England the option of invasion or signing a treaty accepting German domination of mainland Europe
then invade Russia focusing on taking oil fields rather than large cities
also, not declare war on the US after the US declares war on Japan
after England and Russia are dealt with I might use German might to end all US involvement in China

>>736155800

make an actual hall of cost this time

>>736155800
Come up with a final solution

>>736155800
Refuse to assist Japan and go to war with the USA, try to prevent conflict diverting USA's atention to Russia 'cuz muh evil commies.

Cancel the holocaust, do mass deportations instead. Send Jews to Russia so they die either way and somehow pin it on Russia

Delay WW2 3-5 years to support Franco's regime in Spain. Once stabilized, suck it dry for troops and armament.

Methinks I've pretty much altered the outcome of history with just these three.

>>736161121
But what if someone else already went back and made a bunch of stupid decisions as Hitler, to make him look like a fool, thus creating the timeline we're in now, and your job is to try to put it back to normal where Hitler was a military genius, managed to crush the soviets, and somehow got America to fight on his side to conquer the rest of the world, and thus was able to achieve world peace and turn our civilization into a utopia?

three words
>frequent Aryan orgies

>>736155800
I wont kill the jews but I will heavly encourage the Jewish scientists to make me atom bombs

>>736161564
Well if we are in a different timeline, Atleast I 100% know I exist in it so I wouldn't want it to change at all.

>>736161835
True, but if you go back to 1938 to become Hitler, do you stay as Hitler, or do you come back once he's dead? Because if you stay, it wouldn't really matter if you existed in this timeline past the point where you went back.

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>>736157095
>develop nukes before anyone else

I didn't know you were a nuclear physicist,.

What are you gonna do - use Wikipedia?

Or tell the German scientists - "OH WAIT I GOT IT GUISE - IT HAS TO DO WITH ATOMS!!"

>>736155800
I guess I'd have to start learning german really quick

Do I get to rewatch some WWII documentaries as a refresher beforehand? If so, try to do it right. Do most of the things Hitler did without the nonsensical ethnic hatred and genocide, correct as many strategic mistakes as I can and unite the world under one flag.

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What if this is the reason Hitler was such a piece of shit? What if it was really just some racist, sexist, misogynistic jew hating asshole from /b/ that got sent back in time, and just did all that shit and started a world war in an attempt to be the ultimate troll?

>>736162453
what do you mean nonsensical

he was right

>>736155800
Start WWII.

Do not invade Russia.

Win.

>>736163155
you do realize that it was a defensive move to invade Russia?

the soviets had been building up armies on the eastern front and along the border with Bulgaria for years while the Germans waged war in the west. The only move Hitler could have done to stand and chance against an unopposed Russian advance from the east,

Fuck Eva for 48 hours non-stop

>legalise public sex
>drop the age of consent to 6
>fuck an 11yo in the Reichstadt
>say "What? I could have fucked a 6yo."

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>>736155800
Do not invade Poland, stop at Austria. No wwii, thousand year Reich still in full swing. Blonde blue eyed
pussy for years.

Take the mediterranean, Asia, and Africa and then take Russia when I am strong enough.

>>736164142
But that would deplete your manpower and what would you do if Stalin started acting like a faggot?

>tell PM Chamberlain that I'm going to annex Poland, France, and the British Isles
>fuck him in the ass
>send him back to England naked and bloody
>do what I said I would do

>>736155800

Nothing wrong

Don't smoke meth
Don't literally eat shit
Don't fuck whores
Don't start a eugenics program
Don't overextend my military in trying to find supernatural artifacts that don't exist
Don't attack Russia in the winter

>>736164688
>Don't attack Russia in the winter
dumb fuck
operation barberosa started June 22nd
literally the second day of summer

Not declare war on the US when the Japs attack for one thing. Also try to expedite the development of some of the better secret weapons like jets and assault rifles.

>>736162069
Hitler is immortal.

>>736160862
Yeah except that Russia allready had the plans to invade Japan. So it would never happen. The Japanese are also not Mongolians, so they would not have been able to even try such a thing