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My mom has depression and low self esteem. Mom had me when she

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 69
Thread images: 7

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My mom has depression and low self esteem. Mom had me when she was 14. My dad was some fucking loser who was old enough to drive and buy booze who i never met. I was raised by my grandparents my mom was like an older sister. My mom meets some guy off City of Heroes an online game and wants to go live with him. My mom has a huge fight with grandparents and ends up taking me two states away to live with a loser and his 13 year old son. I am 10 years old and the son is in the same grade as me but in special ed classes. He is a socially awkward loser who gets picked on in school. He bullies me to feel better. One day on the bus I join in with the kids bullying him. We get home and he jumps on me. He is border line downs so he super strong at first he is just is shoving my head into the ground then he pulls down my pants. I really start trying to fight back and he starts beating the fuck out of my punching me full force in back of the head. I thought he was gonna kill me. I stopped fighting and he forced himself on me. When he finished he let me up and I ran into my moms room and locked the door. When my moms bf gets home I tell him what happened. He goes upstairs and yells a bit and and the kid comes down and says "im sorry" and runs back up the stairs. The guy is like ok he is sorry just let it go. My mom gets home and I tell her and she tells me not to ruin this for her just forget it happened. Next day at school I tell a teacher. A state worker comes and I tell her. She contacts my grandparents and they come to get me. The kid has to go to court and is deemed to retarded to be charged. I am in my 20's now and I am so fucked up. I dont want to kill myself but I dont care if I die. I do all kinds of drugs I am in and out rehabs,jail and being homeless. So all you incest fan losers I wish what happened to me happened to you.
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tldr
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>>736100155
fuck you
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The wrong side won ww2
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Kill the tard. It's the only way you'll feel anything even close to happiness.
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>>736100068
things like this makes me appreciate my own life
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>>736100068
But OP, no incest lovers want to be raped by their literally retarded male step-brother. They just want to fuck their sisters.
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>>736100068
tards yo
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>>736100668
I know. They think their sister will enjoy it. They wont, it will fuck them up for life.
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To be fair, we shouldn't try to let retarded people live. hopefully you can find someone that can make you feel better
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>be me 10 yo
>mom is a crackwhore that had me super young and I was basically raised as her younger sister
>mom gets into huge fight with my grandparents and we go to live with some guy she met online
>guy has a 13 yo son
>super awkward and kind of slow, they had gone in special classes, but really strong and pretty alpha, everyone at school follows his lead

Cont?
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>>736101017
ya
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>>736100339
make him kill himself instead
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is this the slightly adjusted fag version?
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>>736101186
>me and the guys son never really get along since he is mean to me from the moment we meet
>he is constantly picking on me and bullying me at school makes it super hard for me to make new friends
>he is 13 but we somehow are in the Same grade
>one day he is getting finally getting picked on and I see my opportunity for revenge
> start calling him the most middle school insults I can muster as the crowd around him grows laughing the whole time
>mfw he just cries a little bit
>things changed quickly as soon as we got home though

I think 1 more part keep it bumped
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>>736101614
gee this story sounds like OP's story
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>>736100068
If I got raped by a tard, I'd want to kill myself, too. You can't get much lower as a human being than to know some subhuman piece of shit used you as a sex toy, and there's was nothing you could do about it. And then the people who were supposed to protect you and love you didn't give enough of a shit to rectify the problem. Basically, that's telling you that as a between a retarded person who your mother only brought into your lives because she's enjoying a transient sexual relationship with his father, and you, your mother wouldn't pick you.
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are you converting it to green text and just altering little parts?
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>>736101915
Can i use that at my next therapy session. You said it better then i ever could.
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>>736101614
>mfw
>not even including pic
mfw
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>>736100068
this is actually really interesting. if it's not too hard I'd appreciate if you told us some more of your story please. I understand how difficult things in life may be and to all of you making jokes all the time and on this thread understand you're missing out on a whole lotta life. But it's okay at least there's still courageous people around. It is bad to focus on the overly bad things to you people. Because you then create negativity and you become one of the Negative bullies and bad people that caused you to become bad in the first place. And then you cause another to fall into neg just like you did. You don't desire such a thing for them. But it's a circular thing.One transfers it to you and you transfer it to another. You all hate it. But the hate is what you hate. What a convoluted mess. It's particularly bad with parents. Because you spend the most time with them, and more importantly, in your formative years. Most aren't even aware of the impact their parents have on them. So most people pick up the parents issues without even realising it. Because it's how they're raised and it's all they know so they think it's normal. They thinkother than their dysfunction is a weird thing because the dysfunction from their parents is their normal.
The sins of the parents are translated to the children.
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>>736101614
WHERE'S THE STORY
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>>736101614
> as soon as we walk in the door he trips me and I fall right on my face
> I was no good at fighting and he was significantly bigger than I was but we had wrestle a few times so I tried my best to hold my own but this time was different
> he turned me on my stomach holding my hands behind my back and forcing my face into the carpet
> I tried to kick at him and he wedge himself between my legs holding down my ankles with his shins
I kept yelling insults at him, which in retrospect was a bad idea, until he reach for my waistband
> as he pulled my pants down to my knees my world froze I'm not sure what face I made but I remember tasting the cogarette stained carpet in my mouth from my jaw being agape
> I snap out of it when I hear his zipper
> I fight with everything I have but to no avail
> I stop moving entirely when he finally enters me
> I was dry as a bone and his spit didn't help much so it hurt like hell at first
> he kept going and I kept quiet
> at some point I guess i starting blocking out the scene and imagining I was someone else
> I don't know why but I imagined him being harry styles
> i was super obsessed with 1d and he was my favorite
> I had masturbated to the thought of him for a while but since I was ten it never really went anywhere
> as I imagined his beautiful face and the smoothness of his persona I felt my vagina become significantly less painful and actually wig the added moisture I was kind of enjoying it in a way
> again I was completely away from the reality of what was happening and just imagining the man of my dreams holding me in a tight embrace as he mated with me like humans have been doing for millions of years I was ready and waiting for his seed
> I guess I moaned and I felt my feet seperate slightly as they move out from under his legs
>Instinctively I arched my back and my hands were freed
> at this point I only used them to force myself up into my perpetrator
i guess one more
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>>736102728
What do you want to know?
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>>736102754
I feel sorry for you. I got raped by a retard and never had to go as low as rewriting posts making them homosexual...What the fuck happened to you?!?
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>>736100068
first, you can't blame your life mistakes to one point in your life. Doing drugs is your fault. Yea life sucks, for some it sucks more. you are 20 years old just beginning your adult life. Stop whining and do something to turn it around. You might not achieve that, but you owe that autist to try.
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>>736100068
your mom's a bitch tho.
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>>736102754
> i felt my face goes flush and my head flung backwards
> I was my with my brothers lips on mine as he wrapped himself around me hand on my throat but no longer handing my with any added pressure he knew I was enjoying this as much as he was
> our bodies convulsed together with an even but ever increasing rhythm
> I could feel the blood rushing threw my body from my brain to my feet and stopping in every place in between
>I pulled my shirt up and placed his hands on them he reciprocated by giving a thorough squeeze and teasing my nubile nipples
> I couldn't take much more and I grabbed behind me only finding purchase on his broad shoulders or long hair
> I lost myself in the feeling of running my fingers through his hair the feeling of his por is massaging me from the inside out
> the rhythm reached a peaked as I felt my body tense and then release flooding my body with an energy that I had never yet experienced
>I guess he felt my vagina squeezing him and it sent him over the edge as well
> much harder than I realized he pushed deep inside me emptying his load directly on my ovaries, or so it felt
> we both payed there in a brief ecstasy before I heard he voice break through his heavy break
> in an instant the world came flooding in
> I got up and ran to his dads and my moms room
Cont
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>>736103164
I have tried many times. I cant have normal relationships. I have had great boyfriends who tried so hard but i push them all away because i feel im helping them by finding someone who isnt broken.
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>>736103086
>homosexual
Wat
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>>736103545
it autocorrected gay to homosexual
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>>736103464
> I locked the door but he never tried the knob I sobbed slowly until his dad got home
> I never unlocked the door but he had a key
> I told him what happened and he comforted me, he was actually super nice, and then left
> a few minutes later his son came in and had the strangest expression of confusion and embarrassment and shame and sorrow
> he apologized profusely stammering the whole time
> my mom got home and we repeated these steps this time after his apology though she pulled me tot he side and told me to just go along with it so we could have a place to live
> I told a teacher and she called my grandparents and they called dcf and we went to a few court dates but because of his age nothing ever came of it
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>>736102941
just like the details of why you chose to pursue drugs and try to remember the specific day to day thoughts you've been having throughout your life. This might be hard since most of us go through our days on autopilot, not really being very aware of what's going on in our brain, body and emotions. But this small stuff is what life is made out of. Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans.
But really just all kinds of details. Thing that might've seemed out of the ordinary. Like I said, what might've seemed normal to you might be completely alien to the rest of and so just all kinds of details would be nice. I understand how it might be difficult to do this. Like, where to start amirite? but just whatever you feel comfortable saying, go ahead. If nothing, then fine.
>>736103164
this guys delivery might be rough, but overall in the end I might have to agree with him. To an extent. The harshness with which he brought his message tells me he might not be that happy content mature adult that he might try to pass himself off as. Not to be judgemental, that's just what it seems like to me. Then again, I'm only reading words on a screen. Had I actually seen his face and heard his tone as he was saying this, He might've come off as different to me. As a matter of fact, the fact that I choose to read his comment in a harsh voice might tell me that I'm being overly neg. hmm
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>>736103484
You a girl or a gay?

Also, yes you can, there is nothing physically wrong with you I presume. Not from the rape anyway. Don't try to change everything at once, set attainable goals and work to achieve them one step at a time. Remember life sucks for most people, you are not special. Whining about pushing people away is part of the problem. That way you can go and tell yourself you can't be helped. You can always kill yourself if shit gets too bad, but until then, you should try to make it better.
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>>736100339
i second this
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>>736100068
subhumans should be executed at birth
where is Hitler-senpai when the world needs him most?
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I wonder, is your mother still with that guy? If not, did she apologize for being a bitch?
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>>736104019
>The harshness with which he brought his message tells me he might not be that happy content mature adult that he might try to pass himself off as.

No, I'm not "content" with life, it sucks for me just as much as anyone. Everyone is miserable, that's what life is. Nihilists are essentially correct, we have to live in a state of wilful denial to live our lives "happy". I'm more miserable than some but less than most. Only you got it wrong, I never tried to pass myself off as happy and content...
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>>736104036
Girl
>>736104019
Like you said its lots of things that add up. After it happened I fell behind in school so I had to repeat 5th grade and that made me hate school by the time i was in 7th I started skipping school. My greatgrandmother came to live with my gparents and me and they kinda started letting me do whatever. I dropped out in 10th grade. Tried to get my GED but i pretty much have a 5th grade education not including jail GED classes. So no diploma and a criminal record makes getting a job hard. I worked at a horse farm and liked it until i realized they hired girls (not me) with records to have sex with the mexican workers. I have had 4 diff guys try and take care of me. They had jobs paid all the bills I just had to be a half decent girlfriend and I could never do that. A couple of guys made me feel like they did me this huge favor and I had to be super grateful every moment. Biggest thing with boyfriends is sex issues. Sometimes in the middle of sex I freak out and have to stop. So when I have sex I worry I am gonna freak out and just kinda want it to be over quickly so i dont freak out. What else... I cant form normal friendships I always feel like im a pity friend. When I do form a half decent friendship I start testing it to see if they will bail. I stole my friends lipstick not because i wanted it but to see if she would forgive me and keep being my friend. She was ok with me stealing her lipstick it was me testing her that made her end the friendship. I could go on and on
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>>736104692
She's still with him. Last Easter when I was visiting her boyfriend pulled me to the side and beat me with chimp-like rage while cumming on my ovaries from the inside. Nobody believed me but it was my fault. His son smelt his dad's cum leaking from my skirt so he made an excuse to take me out back. He slammed my head into the floor and entered me dry. He got more damage than me but there was blood everywhere and we both came. We were shaking and he twitched as his raw, dry, bleeding cock pulsed in the rhythm of retardation reproducing in literal form. My vagina seems to never feel the same since then. This time when I went to my teachers about it (I'm in college now) the counsellor just asked me on a date and tried to rub my pussy.
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>>736104692
No about 3 years later they broke up. She wanted to move back in with my grandparents and they wouldn't let her so she disowned me. She lives in Texas now I think. We never really had a conversation about it. It went from I cant believe what you did to my bfs son so im not talking you to i cant move back home so im not talking to you.
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>>736105897
You need Jesus nigga!
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>>736105046
as I said, it was impossible to tell really seeing as how I'm only reading texts on a screen. I meant no hate or judgement.
as for your assumption that everyone is miserable, you're kinda wrong. I know you are because I, for one, am not miserable.

As for your nihilism argument
>Nihilists are essentially correct, we have to live in a state of wilful denial to live our lives "happy"
I agree with this mostly, except for the fact that happiness is a state of denial. I'm in it and it certainly doesn't feel like denial. All of your experience of reality is subjective, meaning it is through your own perception. Have you ever seen anything that isn't a part of your image of the world? That is impossible by default. And yes, nihilists are correct, there is no logical point to the universe. But you are not a supernatural incarnation of logic, you're a human fucking being. Neither of us are living in denial really, as we agreed, there is no secret meaning in the end. So there is no happiness or unhappiness in the end. there is only what you choose to create. And you're obviously choosing negativity. Why? I am a nihilist and i choose to live positively even if it isn't 'logical'. why do you choose negativity. We are all gonna die in the end and there's no point so why not?
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>be me 13 yo
>my mom died in child birth so I never knew her but my dad made up for it
> we had the best life just the two of us guys he was super macho and made enough money to bring me cool places and show me awesome stuff
> he was an engineer for an aerospace company and so he was super smart
> I tried hard in school but because of the complications during my birth I guess I was deprived of oxygen for a while so it made it hard for me to retain information quickly
>I was held back a few years in school and they put me in remedial classes but I was still trying and my dad always made me feel better when I got home
> anyway he used to play this game online called city of heroes and one day he told me he was going to meet a girl that he met on there
> I was happy for him and excited to meet her but before I knew it he told me she needed to move in with us, I guess she was still living with her parents and they had some serious problems
> what's worse though was that she had a 10 yo daughter that had to live with us too
> I couldn't believe it but my dad told me everything would be better in the end
> fast forward a few months and it is a living hell
> my dad is spending all his time with this girls mom and when we do go somewhere it's not some cool motorcycle race or guy stuff anymore it's to a park or museum and this girl and her mom were always there
> even at school I didn't get relief
> she turned out to be the miss popular mean girl type who clicked with my bullies real quick
> she was even put in my same grade since she was actually a year ahead in school
> everyday was just more and more humiliating
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>>736100068
Jesus is all you guys need
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>>736106129
I am Jesus. That was a test. You failed. Your chance at happiness is gone. You think the tard took it from you? No, gurl. That reply sealed the deal in.
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> one day she gathered her usually group around me chanting typical schoolyard insults I just took it and sobbed like usual until she said it "retard"
> it hit me like a bullet train
> the laughter was like summer rain pouring down on me but I could still make out her voice in particular saying that r word over and over even after everyone else joined in i could just hear her and a thousand raindrops
>something snapped in me at that moment in the schoolyard tucked into a ball
> I don't know how I managed it but I waited until we got home
> as soon as the door closed behind us I lost it
> I pushed her to the floor and jumped on top of her
> she was on her stomach and I was on her back hitting her head
> I was swinging wildly, never been in a fight in my life, but she was getting her and tried to crawl away
>To stop her I grabbed her arms behind her back and held her as she squirms beneath me
> she had moved up slightly and my crouch was now directly over her butt her squirming stimulating my developing hormone ridden body
> I was still so angry and this idea got in my head that I could really scare her so I pulled off her pants and amazingly she wasn't even wearing any panties
> without warning I was now staring down at the very first pussy I had seen in my life
> her gentle pink lips barely protruding indicated her new journey into puberty of course I didn't conscious understand this instead it was just a deep primal urge that took me
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>>736106196
If we are to put +/- numbers to good moments and bad moments in our lives, most of us if not all would end up in negatives. Life as a whole contains more agony than happiness.
I'm not choosing negativity, I'm just acknowledging its prevalence. Some might call me a cynic, but i prefer to think im a realist. I'm also open to be persuaded otherwise, but you have to explain to me how a system where one living being has to devour another in order to survive is somehow "good." For an outsider, life is just like a cancer. I don't want life to end because I'm not an outsider, I'm a living being so I'm biased. I know that while life continues, there will always be endless suffering, that's the willful state of denial one has to maintain in order to think life is worth something.
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>>736107101
Oh yeah? What's your opinion on
reply to this or your mother will die in her sleep tonight.
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>>736106862
>I could feel my hard penis pressing against my pants
> in that moment she really fought back kicking and screaming so like I'm sure so many of my ancestors have I clubbed her repeatedly in the back of the head until her struggles subsided
> now motionless she lay displayed before me as if almost on display for me enjoyment
> without realizing what was happening my penis was already out of my pants and inside her vagina
>my thrusts were slow at first shocked by the pleasure of the warmth now wrapped around me
> as I progressed it shocked me to feel her lubricating me had she just excepted what I was doing?
> I looked at her face and her eyes were simply shut tight and her face was emotionless
> I continued and realized I could let go of her arms with her fighting
I placed me hands on either side of her hips and felt her stomach flex as she lifted slightly
> the shock of her pushing into me almost made me finish right then but her face still was contorted and eyes shut so hard I couldn't
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>>736107405
>I was awash with so many emotions and so much carnal pleasure
>I was deep in my thoughts still thrusting when i guess my carelessness caused me to push a little too far and at too much of an angle I felt my penis head meet resistance and then I heard the faintest but still unmistakable sounds, she moaned
>I was really encouraged at this point and continued with renewed zeal now focusing on her movements and matching her with precision
>I was still unsure until she placed my hands on her chest
> I can still feel those budding breasts and tiny nipples between my fingers
> I teased them lightly and heard another moan I pick up my pace
>She reached back to grab me only being able to reach my neck and hair
>she tucked gently as if trying to pull me closer to her
> I couldn't take much more at this point and my thrusts became faster and deeper each one now met with a light moan
> as we reached our crescendo I felt my abs flex as warmth ran from my balls down my shaft emptying my semen deep inside her I felt her pussy flex around my penis squeezing out every last drop
>we lay there for a moment still connected before the world came flooding back in
> what had I done
> oh god
> I look at her and it was clear she had the same thoughts as she ran to lock herself in my dads room
>fuck I thought my dad
> I waited anxiously for hours until he got home
>I didn't know what to do so I just waited in my room
> I could hear him fiddle with his own door probably wondering why it was locked
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>>736105505
listen, most people got issues. I can't give you my life philosophy though this forum right now, but i can give you a fraction of the things that have much helped me and truly helped transform my life. Now these things are no guarantee but they can't be harmful. It's recourseful ideas and mindsets. People like Earl Nightingale, Elliot Hulse, Alan Watts, and an array of other people. I should note though, that these people have been helpful to me in particurlar but they might not be to you. You will simply find your own ways to life. There is just too much information i would like to translate to you but it's far too impractical. You will seek out this information on your own. And some of it might seem cooko at first, but seeing as how you are not normal, you will need not normal things ( although everyone is really not normal, this ' normal' is just some ridiculous idea in our head). Really try to understand their concepts. And trust me, if you take in these alternative and deeper ideas and fully understand them, you will be able to adapt them to your own situation and benefit from them. And I'm only telling you things I've done myself, nothing hypothetical or impossible. But it shall take time and might be what you would call hard.
but I'm going to stop now because I feel like I'm rambling a little too much so really,
just take in ideas from the people I mentioned, internalize them, and tailor them to yourself, don't be afraid to experiment and put your own twists on things and your life is ultimately up to you and only you. Only you can figure out your own reality. these people i mentioned will help but it's ultimately up to you.
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>>736107189
I tried ignoring those, but the bitch is always fine.
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>>736106196
also yes, happiness is not a denial, Just that we have to be in a state of denial in order to be happy.
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>>736108128
> I heard vague voices through the house then footsteps to headed toward me
>his face was not what I expected at all
>grin from ear to ear
>pat on the back
>what is happening is all I could think
>congrats he whispered
>clearing his throat he loudly proclaimed how awful the thing I had done was and that I must apologize immediately followed by a wink
> I shook my head still in shock and he lead me to her
>Some generic sorry and whoops were all I could muster then that was it
>her mom got home and my dad intercepted her
>to this day I have no idea what magic he pulled but she believed it and by the time she got to me she started with "so I hear that your sorry and have learned your lesson"
>I agreed and she said she wanted to hear it for herself from me to her daughter
>accepting this lean punishment I obliged
> that would have been it but I guess the daughter told a teacher and anyway her grandparents came to get her later on
>my dad got some bombast lawyers to get me off and it worked
>my dad still fucks her mom everyday and I even get to wink at her from across the table on Easter and shit
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>>736100068
I hope you get raped again
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>>736100068
My mom has a boat and expensive real estate. Mom had me when she was 140 pounds. My dad was some banging banker who was old enough to drive and buy booze who i never sucked off. I was raised by my grandparents my mom was like an older sister. My mom meets some guy off City of Heroes an online game and wants to go live with him. My mom has a huge fight with grandparents and ends up taking me two states away to live with a playboy and his 13 year old son. I am 10 years old and the son is in the same grade as me but in great condition. He is a socially well accepted student who gets blowjobs in school. He bullies me to feel better. One day on the bus I join in with the kids blowing him. We get home and he jumps on me. He is border line boytoy so he super strong at first he is just is shoving my head into the ground then he pulls down my pants. I really start trying to fight back and he starts beating the fuck out of my punching me full force in back of the head. I thought he was gonna deepthroat me. I stopped fighting and he forced himself on me. When he finished he let me up and I ran into my moms room and locked the door. When my moms bf gets home I tell him what happened. He goes upstairs and yells a bit and and the kid comes down and says "not even mad" and runs back up the stairs. The guy is like ok he is sorry just let it go. My mom gets home and I tell her and she tells me not to ruin this for her just forget it happened. Next day at school I tell a teacher. A state worker comes and I tell her. She contacts my grandparents and they come to get me. The kid has to go to court and is deemed to sexy to be charged. I am in my 20's now and I am so fucked up.
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>>736107101
>I'm not choosing negativity, I'm just acknowledging its prevalence

but through this acknowledging you create it. I don't acknowledge negativity and therefore all I see is happiness. And because all I see is it, to me it is realistic to say that life is good.

You acknowledge the negativity over the lifefullness and happiness, therefore it is all you see, and it is 'realistic' to you to think that life is unhappy.

But let's assume that you have only, or incredibly prevalently, experienced negativity over the vigor of life. So that even while you focused on the positivity, it still wasn't enough. If it were like that, why haven't you killed yourself by now? If you TRULY are unhappy?

You pass off an argument that it's against your instinct and that is the reason why not. But ask yourself, is it really like that? Because honestly, I don't think so. Ask yourself, are you really focusing on the positivity and there is just so little of it that you just can't resist the negativity? Because if not, then your subconscious is aware that your life isn't really hopeless, and it's preventing you from killing yourself. After all, majority of what we do is unconscious. Don't think though, that just because it's unconscious it isn't you.
at the end, I think that , and i genuinly feel this way, not trying to provoke or offend or judge you, or dump hate on you, but I genuinely feel like you are persisting in this 'my instinct is keeping me from suicide' dishonestly. you are keeping it dishonestly. No hostility, just my honest opinion.
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>>736108708
ok wtf dude? are you trying to be funny or what? are you trying to offend someone? like this type of crap on the internet is ridiculously unproductive and shitty, no one wants to hear your dumb unfunny shit.
all this shit does is ruin the internet for the rest of us.
>>
>>736104019
Im going to change and i hold no hatred toward you or anyone atm. I may not be happy with the person i am, and the issues im struggling with but i woukdnt say im depressed morelike semi satisfied. I know i fish for pity to often and play the blame card which you all have shown me while also destroying my trust in every human being but that goes back to the skeletons i have in my closet. Although im trying to work on them and i wish i had my old friend that i trusted with everything, i didnt have social anxiety, that i could quit the poly drug addiction, that im not the guy who kills the vibe when out with people sadly but i can only try and change. These are mostly because of my poor decisions i know i made but i was also fucked up by being raised by two neurotic crackheads that thought violence was the solution to all problems. I wish you all the best of luck in life ive done really shitty things to people but im gonna change myself and try doing the right thing regardless of what impulses tell me. I know i hurt you anon but in everyway i tried making it right yet you just come back with what i say. I understand your anger but just move on like a man.
>>
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>>736100068
**yawn**

needs more sex
>>
>>736100068
You're probably fucked up because you were raped, not because of the "incest". The fact that you're blaming what barely counts as incest when there is a glaringly obvious other cause is just silly.
>>
>>736110318
first off, i dunno why you think I'm mad or whatever because I'm not.

one bit of advice that goes a long way ( I say because it has been this way for me) is that if something doesn't seem to be going you need to be sensitive to know when to change.
What I'm aiming at is that you should try not to get stuck, and I had this problem tremendously, in the whole 'I'm trying to get better' mindset. This might be a little counterintuitive, as it would make sense to try and make things better. But if you're trying the same methods over and over again with no avail it is important to know when to change ways. So for instance if you have a habit of trying to 'build your social skills' by constantly over and over again starting social interactions with as many people as you can, and you've been doing this for awhile with no significant increase in your 'social skills', i would think it's time to try something new.
What I mean by this is try looking at things from a more depthful perspective. Instead of focusing on what you're going to say, for instance, try focusing on what your mood is like. Beacause, I'm sure you've experienced this, when you're in a good mood, it's easy to be social and get along well and be happy.
Anyway that's why I recommend some more depth to your perspective. Instead of constantly repetitively trying to achieve some shallow goal, have some subtlety and quit anything that is being unfruitful.
>>
>>736109688
> I don't acknowledge negativity and therefore all I see is happiness
try not to acknowledge a car coming at you and see if it will pass through you. As I said you are in denial. "Truth" is not relative, facts are just facts, you can't wish something to be true and expect it to be that way, and the truth is life sucks ass.
I never said I have it so bad that i need to kill myself, but I don't believe when people say suicide is not a solution.
>>
>>736112090
You say bad outweighs good, yet cite being ran over by a car as an argument? It may be a statistic, but its not that common.

Maybe stop trying to tally up your life, creating an expectation for yourself to follow with your self-fulfilling prophecy bullshit. Work with what you have and build on it. If you have nothing, pick a point and go from there.
>>
>>736100068
The fact that you were raped by a retard has very little to do with incest, but thanks.
>>
>>736112654
the argument is: you can't say I choose not to acknowledge something therefor it's not so.
I know life is shit overall, but I also know there are good things in life. If I had a choice to leave it for something better, I would and since I don't, I suck up and go with it. Most people do the same. I'm just self conscious about it.
>>
>>736112090
ok, let's say a car is coming at you. We all die anyway so let the car be analogy for death.

It is coming at you and that fact you can't change. What you can change however, is what you do with the limited time before death hits you. And honestly you should just kill yourself already. Or choose to enjoy the little amount of life, these couple of decades, before you die. Not you though. You're a REALISTIC PERSON that deals with facts only and don't have time for this silly choosing to focus on good over bad bullshit because you're Realistic.
Gimme a fucking break.
1 you don't enjoy life
2 you don't kill yourself
3 no you instead just choose to be a little asshole cause you don't have the balls to take your own retarded fucking life and spread this negativity bullshit. And you then have the fucking audacity to claim what you say is truth. Bitch gravity is truth. Death and life and atoms and stars and air are truth. 'ooh im depressed and unhappy' or 'ooh im happy' are entirely subjective.

Youre just a little bitch you dont suicide you dont create happiness no you just whine around and try to make it worst for the rest of us.
But I'm not gonna let you. I'm about to stop arguing with you rn cause i should've seen you were irracional from the start. all of you fucking 'boohoo life is terrible' fucks are are irracional af.
>>
>>736112901
Yeah, not incest but the "raped by a retard" thing was hot in bestiality sort of way.

OP's story is much like classic Steinbeck: "I used to have a little friend, but she don't cum no more."
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