any mentally ill bros out there that want to talk? made a thread

>>735856401
in the middle of getting diagnosed with schizophrenia
don't know what's going to happen to me, really scared of being detained or drugged up

>>735856487
I helped my best friend who suffers from schizophrenia get into a paid group study where she got MRIs, free meds and free psychologist appointments for a year and was paid to do so

it helped her so fucking much that she went from being a homeless drug addict to holding down a job and getting married

schizophrenia eats away at your brain in the most literal sense and taking the proper medication can slow that degradation so dramatically it is almost always worth it

getting help can be a hard road though

mind if I ask where in the middle of it you are?

>>735856401
Have anxiety which was bad, am on two different medications for it. It has since turned into a deep depression. Haven't gone to work in a week and a half, am indifferent to everything, have no desire for anything really anymore. I will only say this because I'm on an anonymous board, but I bitched out just before I was about to pass out with a rope around my neck tonight. Now I'm scared of me.

I used to have things going for me, but everything has gone to shit.

If you feel like letting anything out OP, we're here for you as well.

>>735856828
I'm extremely sorry to hear how things are going for you. what meds are you taking? it could be that your depression was always there and just not apparent until the anxiety was lessened, too.

I'll post my shit in a different post for simplicity's sake. thanks man

>>735856968
Escitalopram, and just recently Clonazepam.
I agree with you I've always had a bit of depressions then anxiety came full force, but now as the anxiety was getting under control, depression came with a vengeance.

>>735856828
>If you feel like letting anything out OP, we're here for you as well.

>started seeing therapists when I was 16
>have severe OCD, bipolar type 1 and necrophilia
>did not know this until nearly a decade later
>went through the fucking ringer, diagnosed with everything you could think of
>test after test after test and all the while I got worse and worse
>wound up in terrible legal trouble, ruined finances, hurt other people badly, ruined other people's lives, alienated my whole family, consumed with OCD when I was manic or depressed
>had no idea what was wrong with me and wanted to die

>met some good psychologists and psychiatrists who got me on the right track
>over the years, especially after getting on lithium, turned my life around
>been through so much painful therapy
>chemical castration, exposure therapy, everything
>got most of my shit straightened out but an alcoholic and struggle so hard every day with my feels
>very few places to talk about necrophilia anywhere and so stifled I want to die
>so sexually frustrated
>OCD is still not fully treated
>bipolar mania is under control but the depression has been unrelenting for years
>about to turn 26 and feel like my life has been stolen from me

>>735857331
I hope you can talk with your psych about your depression and try to find a good treatment. Depression is fucking deadly and just completely destroys your quality of life (as I'm sure you're painfully aware)

>>735857410
Damn man, I am sorry. I am glad for you that you found good people to help you, but how much you had to go through to get there is terrible.

Is there anything anyone can do to help with how you feel now? Maybe support you in rebuilding and powering through ( I use that term very loosely, I know it is not that easy, not even remotely close) everything to get you back on track?

Do you have hobbies that you like? Things to get you out and try to drown out the other feelings? I understand at least a little of what OCD is like, and it's always there, but is there anything you can do that lets you let loose and help push it all aside?

>>735857600
I completely agree anon, it got very bad very quick and came on like that so suddenly. I am going to a psych now or have an appointment booked. I feel embarrassed talking to them though. On here it's an anonymous board, so I can say anything. To a person one on one it's just different.

>>735856487
Aww, I wanna give you a hug..
:(
You won't be detained, I can tell you're paranoid.
:)

/b/ipolar checking in

You fags need to kill yourselves just saying .. fucking wierdo emo losers

>>735858294
I have a close circle of online friends that really care about me and support me, and they've helped so much it's really incredible. all those years ago I was so fucking alone and never thought I'd be able to trust other people enough to feel the way I do now.

I love movies and lolita fashion so I spend most of my time and money on that. when I can pour all that obsessive energy into something harmless it's really cathartic. it doesn't help with the sexual stuff but, it helps.

it can be insanely hard to talk to someone face-to-face about your issues, but what's always helped me is to remember that no matter who you're talking to in the mental health industry, they'll have always heard a worse case. when you put things into perspective it can be a little less overwhelming.

>>735858487
type 1, 2 or something else?

>>735858665
You need to shut the fuck up and go back to 9gag.

>>735858781
You antisocial wierdo, how about being A FUCKING MAN!! You probably don't have a dad

>>735858713
Type 2
Hanging in there

>>735858982
>everyone who is antisocial doesn't have a dad, and let's make fun of that strawman haha we're so cool

Aren't you the edgy, weird fuck here?

>>735858982
>>735859079
>antisocial

god one of my biggest pet peeves is the misuse of this word

antisocial = actively antagonizes others, disregard for established law and order, etc.
asocial = does not like social interaction

>>735859027
keep on fighting the good fight man

>>735859165
Yeah, that's a fuckup.
I'd still hug an ASPD patient even if they'd rather see me dead.

>>735859286
I was misdiagnosed as having ASPD when I was 19
all I probably needed was a hug back then tbh

>>735859398
aw :^(

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>>735856401

I don't know what's wrong with me but here's my "sanity score"

Random facts about me to make you feel better about yourself possibly
>23
>zero friends left
>never been in a relationship or been on a date
>parents/family literally don't love/talk to me
>lost my dream job because business bought out
>broke
>gay furfag
>fucked up on substances 90% of the time
>constant ear ringing tinnitus
>currently out on bail awaiting trial after spending a month in jail and 2 weeks shackled in the back of a pts ford transport van with nigs, facing multiple years prison time, court date on 26th
>no longer have dreams for some reason (the kind when you sleep)
>I have that southpark "cynical asshole" problem where almost everything and everyone pisses me off or disgusts me in some way. Not unlike how you feel disgusted when you step in a pile of shit but applied to everything.
>Things that still DO give me pleasure: Music, Sex, drugs, good food, exploring nature, driving like a maniac.

i went to get a neuropsy evaluation like two months ago because i was sure i had ADD.

turns out i do have ADD, but it appears i'm also "highly gifted" and probably a lot of my ADD symptoms are amplified by the giftedness.

kinda feel like a mental illness.
maybe shit would have been easier if i had known that earlier (i'm 32 years old).

also i have a very schizoid personality but i've known that for years.

>>735858670
Awesome, I'm glad you've found something and people that can genuinely help and push aside some of the lingering effects. I hope it keeps looking up for you anon!

>>735859800
you're nearly three years younger than me
thank you for the self-esteem boost but, fuck, man, that's all just fucking horrible. I hope you can pick yourself back up
what the hell did you spend a month in jail for? why all the transports?

>songs play really loudly in my head 24/7
>same ones repeat over and over
>also have really loud thoughts that come out of mowhere and distract/disturb me
Anyone else have this? I don't know if it's tied to a disorder or not, but i have described it to other people and they say that it isn't normal. What could it be?

I was diagnosed schizoaffective last year, but I don't really believe the diagnosis. I think I might have bipolar but honestly at this point I don't really believe that either. I've been in the psych ward 3 times, but twice because of psychosis brought on by weed and once because I was suicidal. In the process of getting off my meds now (Abilify 15mg). Anyway anyone relate to anything I said please let me know.

I'm quite young but I have what I think is OCD but I'm not sure. I have OCD generally like with cleanliness and neatness like with objects. But when I'm in social situations I get this feeling similar to OCD, and I don't want to talk because it triggers that feeling like it's not perfect you know. So I'm extremely quiet, and when I do talk its like in 3 or less words. That and sometimes the trigger is so intense that feel the urge to write it down. Like text it to myself. And when I do I usually stare at the phone like closing on eye and looking at the shapes and trying to make them straight or whatever. I feel like I need to do that. And most times the feelings subside, but sometimes they don't. Is this some form of social OCD where like anything I say isn't perfect or whatever? Or is it something else? Any anions experience something like this, and know what it is or how to cope?

>>735859872
are you getting any treatment for the ADD?

>>735860092
this reminds me a lot of the intrusive thoughts I get with my OCD, except instead of music it's homicidal and necrophilic fantasies. you might want to see a psychologist and/or psychiatrist if it's bothering you, that sort of thing can be treated with medication and therapy in most cases.

>>735860092
The only thing I have experienced that I could relate it to, would be somewhat reminiscent of OCD, but that's the only one along those lines that I have experienced. Take what I say with a grain of salt.

>>735860167
>I was diagnosed schizoaffective last year, but I don't really believe the diagnosis. I think I might have bipolar
nah man, you need to learn to believe the diagnosis.

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1) Is P = NP, prove it with an example.
2) Proof or give a counter example of the following:

In three space dimensions and time, given an initial velocity field, there exists a vector velocity and a scalar pressure field, which are both smooth and globally defined, that solve the Navier–Stokes equations.

>>735859800
Link to the test?

>>735860167
you sound as confused as I used to be. my best recommendation is to look for the most experience psychologist you can find, disclose your FULL mental health history and symptoms to them, and see what educated decision they come to after observing your behavior and getting to know you. the diagnoses that are given in psych wards can be wildly inaccurate because of how extreme of a mindset you can be when you get to those places. it's not your normal self.

I take abilify and have recently lowered my dose. one of the best feelings in the fucking world. it works like a charm at curbing psychosis but boy howdy does it zomify you.

>>735860269
>are you getting any treatment for the ADD?
not yet, but i might start trying some medication this fall.
thing is, the more i read about giftedness, the more i see how it fucking feels like ADD a lot of the time.
also, it's a really busy time of the year on my farm and i really don't need the risk of having the side effects of ADD medication when you're trying to find the right one and dosage for you.

>>735860250
the specific rituals you describe when under distress/anxiety are similar to OCD. it sounds mostly like social anxiety though. talk to an actual psychologist about it to know for sure.

>>735860531
Ask for Ritalin first, and if you have a bad reaction, try Strattera or a nonstimulant.

>>735860531
definitely start new meds when you have time to kind of chill and let whatever side effects you might have happen. dealing with psychiatric bullshit while you're working is utter hell. good luck bro

>>735860081

VOP, Violation of probation. Was in Cali had to get dragged back to florida with arms and legs shackled in the back of one of these fuckers with the windows painted over. Took two weeks to get across the country because we were constantly picking up and dropping off other prisoners along the way route wasn't straight backtracking and all kinds of shit, I almost went insane from the heat, lack of food/water and only being able to get out to piss once a day at a random jail we stopped at to pick up/drop off. Literal closest thing to hell I've ever seen, had to fight deranged people off with a stick ect. the original charge was allegedly trafficking dank cali weed through FL in 2012. fml

>>735860250
To summarize
>have OCD
>feel the trigger in social situations
>tend to be quite and what I do say is short brief 3 word sentences because what I say isn't perfect
>sometimes trigger so intense I have to text what I just said to myself
>then I look at the lines of text and in my mind straitened them out
>sometimes the feeling persists
Any anon know anything similar and ways to cope?

>>735860652
you have ADD or ADHD?
i read when you have no hyperactivity as i do that stimulant usually work better. well i think i did. haven't really checked into it that much since it's not for right now.

>>735860766
thank you my man.
i'm also thinking i've had this shit for over 30 years, it can wait a couple more months.

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>>735860801
forgot the pic

>imagine living in the back of one of these 23.5 hours a day packed shoulder to shoulder with other people. Getting fed shitty mcdicks dollar menu twice a day ugh

>>735860801
jesus fucking christ what the fuck, all of that suffering because of some weed? what the fuck is wrong with this country?

>>735860928
see a psychologist PRONTO (that specializes in OCD if at all possible)
there are several treatments available for these sorts of symptoms, and a professional can help determine what's best for you.

>>735860963
>i've had this shit for over 30 years, it can wait a couple more months.
I know those feels. definitely hang in there, once you get on the right meds it'll feel so worth it.

>>735860469
http://www.sanityscore.com/

It requires that you sign up

>>735860475
What was your dose/what is it now?

>>735857331
Dude get off Clonazapam. That shit fucks you up plus it's highly addictive because it's a benzo. I was prescribed it and it turned me into a sociopathic zombie. It also gave me memory loss. It's a downer so it'll make you extremely depressed

>>735861298
my dose was 15mg, down to 5mg now. bear in mind though that I'm 5'5'', 108lbs, and take several other meds that amplify the effects of abilify so my dose has to be much lower than average.

>>735859800
>gay furfag
this is really the worst of it.

also you never had a relationship or went on a date yet you like sex?
do you like meet guys on tinder or get one night stands from bars?

>>735861446
I'm currently doing two days off, one day on the 15mg dose. I don't feel any different when I take it versus when I don't. I'm also doubting whether I'm mentally ill or just trans.

I'm too afraid to sleep because I has vivid nightmares every night and it's to the point now where it's hard for me to discern real memories from those that happened in a dream.

In the last 48 hours I've had about 2hrs of sleep but I can't just convince myself to sleep. Instead I'll probably stay on a cocktail of drugs through work tomorrow to stay awake.

>>735860167
>twice because of psychosis brought on by weed
one of my brothers has schizophrenia and has done some psychosis because of weed usage.
another of my brother did two psychosis from weed too.
and now Trudeau wants to make weed legal and available everywhere, i find it stupid as shit. the number of substance induced psychosis will fucking rise fast.

>>735861721
oh fuck man I have had this so bad ever since I was a little kid
have you ever learned how to lucid dream?

>>735861789
No

>>735861880
I highly, highly recommend it. quick google searches can teach you the basics. it probably seems like a load of shit but if you're as desperate for sound sleep as I am you'll probably want to check it out. most of the time now when I'm having a horrific nightmare (every night) I can alter at least some parts of it to not be so bad. it helps.

>>735861501
oh well, but yea I fuck every so often but I'm really starting to hate one night stands. they leave me wanting something more than just pure lust. I'm all messed up in that sense. I lost my virginity like 5 years before I had my first kiss, so. messed. up.

>>735861729

nigga that means you just gotta smoke more, get that tolerance up

>>735862014
My nightmares are all basically the same: something happens such that everyone I love and care about dies with me having to watch.

But I can't die.
That's the worst part.

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>>735861188
OP here, here's my results. I tried to answer as honestly as humanly possible. Sexual issues should be at 100 and depression should be at least 60, but otherwise it's pretty accurate for how well things are going for me right now.

>>735861391
Man, that would honestly make complete sense to me. I have only been on it for a few weeks, but my short term memory is fucked up right now and it would almost completely coincide with the depression massively hitting

>>735862181
It's not necessarily about tolerance. I was smoking every day for 3 months and then smoked some Northern Lights and I lost my fucking mind. Ended up in the psych ward.

>>735861160

>what the fuck is wrong with this country?

Yeea I ask myself that everyday. It's hard when you have so much hate and no specific person to direct it at, just an institution

>>735862256
recurring nightmares can also be altered with something called "rescripting"
essentially you write out the scenario of your dream, and then rewrite it into a more positive one
then you do that rewrite over and over, every day, until it starts to happen in your dreams. allegedly. never tried it but my psychologist is a big advocate for it.

>>735862313
It had never even occurred to me that it could also counteract that negatively , as it helped my anxiety. But having someone else have exactly what I kind of noticed can't just be coincidence.

>>735862313

I used to pop kpins and bars like they were literal fucking skittles. I'm talking 6 clonopin sublingual cuz kpin tastes good af. Popped 6 bars right after, then proceeded to smoke weed and sometimes opiates too. I think that was 2011 I have a whole chunk of my life missing but I think the benzos desensitized my gaba receptors which can be considered a good thing if you want to have a good reaction time, dexterity, alertness ect. because gaba is a CNS buffer if you desensitize yourself to GABA you can be a sick ass breakdancer n shit idk

Hey guys. I have a question for yall anons. Im feelin pretty down right now. I need some advice from you guys. A girl ive been seeing at work went out to lunch with me and completely opened up all her feelings to me. Thing is she is into another man. Is all hope lost brothers or do I still try to strive for her?

>>735862313
Ya seriously, do some research on it. There's basically no positives that come of it. The only reason my doctor put me on it was because I had just come out of the psych ward and he was trying to keep me from killing myself, but it actually made me worse. Are you taking it everyday? Or just when you get a panic/anxiety attack?

>>735862821
she's using you as an emotional tampon
if you can't pump and dump, leave her be
pouring out your problems to someone should come after establishing a good relationship, not on a casual lunch break with a coworker

Severe anxiety to the point it locks me in place. I literally get stuck or froze and don't know what to do. 42 years old and dealt with it all my life. Always a feeling of impending doom, but the anxiety peaks and valleys. In times of high anxiety it triggers ocd. Have to check the door is locked 5 times etc. Have been able to talk myself out of it. Changing my environment helps a lot. Actually, taking a shower helps. Girlfriend told me it washes away bad energy. Have taken Cymbalta, Prozac etc a few times but don't like how it changes me. I like who I am. Have been on xanax and klons and they help, but the anxiety is still there and I can still feel it. The only thing that truly helps are opiates because the symptoms of my anxiety manifest physically. Opiates completely relieve the physical anxiety which gets rid of the mental. Speed helps in a weird way. I can at least focus. Been self medicating with opiates for 20 years. Been super addicted, but now I am a functioning addict. I go to work no matter what so I can pay my bills. As long as I'm paying my own way, nobody can tell me shit. I take one or two extended release pain pills a day.

>>735862501
I did a huge project on antidepressants and anti anxiety medications a couple months ago, and klonopin/clonazapam is one of the most dangerous out there

>>735862851
>>735862762
Yeah I was prescribed every day 0.5mg, then I thought I'd only take it when I had anxiety, but started to feel depression so foolishly took it as I thought it'd help the depression feel better, but I started feeling worse and thought that taking it maybe more often would help. Stupidity on my part

>>735862821

too vague to tell bitch could be either coming on to you or just thinks your a fag and wants to friendzone you so she has someone to listen to all her bullshit problems. women are fucked up and selfish like that.

>>735856401
not sure if this qualifies as mentally ill but I'm pretty sure I have tourette's syndrome. Thankfully, all of my tics are nonverbal. I carry 2-3 at a time and I tend to pick them up from other people.

My current tics are blinking rapidly all the time (have had this for close to 7 years now), sharp inhaling/exhaling through nose (7 months), and tilting my neck to crack it (5-6 years).

Some of my tics have come and gone, like grinding my teeth back and forth, flaring my nostrils, and blinking intensely - like closing your eyes and rolling your eyeballs during a blink. I can recall the exact moment when each tic began, but the ones that go away just gradually fade I guess.

I don't think it interferes much with my social life. I have a lot of good friends, have been in relationships, and am doing very well in university. I just hate what kind of first impression it must leave on people. They probably think "why the fuck does this guy blink so much," or "he breathes super loudly through his nose" etc.

I'd do anything to get rid of them. Has anyone else here been able to stop tic-ing under their own power?

>>735863046

extrapolate!

>>735862901
Thanks bro. Thats something nice to hear. Yeah, I fucking dont want to be used . That would label me as a fucking faggot to all of my coworkers.

>>735863059

>taking benzos to uplift mood
>jesus christ
>facepalm.png

>>735863046
Honestly after putting the pieces together and from the other anons experience, I would agree with you. It seems from talking to people they are handing it out like candy now as well.

I think to other people, I look like I'm doing okay. I'm in my mid 20s, starting grad school in fall. I go out occasionally with acquaintances.

But emotionally, I think I am a wreck. I have no close friends to speak of, and I recently broke up with my girlfriend. I've never been diagnosed but I think I might be suffering from depression, which was one of few reasons why we broke up. I feel like I have no reason to live for. Aside from fear of pain and death, there isn't much keeping me alive. I've never seen a doctor for it because I'm worried about the money.

I know writing all this won't help, and I don't know why I'm still writing this. Almost every night, I've just been self-medicating with alcohol and cannabis, wallowing in self-pity and sad music

>>735863172
I didn't have any experience with other drugs. I thought it would help.

>>735863116

Most cases are caused by viruses from the mother entering the brain as a fetus and causing mirco lesions before you're even born.

>>735863077
Yeah like she told me everything she wants in life. That was kind of a red flag in my head.

>>735863059
Hey it's not your fault. I did the same, because I was told by my doctor it was supposed to help. The problem with psychiatrists is that they usually don't explain the extent of the potential side effects so we're more open to taking them. I'd say try and ween off them so you only take them when you have a bad panic attack, because they are a quick relief. But be really frugal because they are so addictive

>>735863413
Absolutely, thank you Anon, truly. You may have helped me far more than you know. If I had kept on this downward spiral that could have been continually reinforced by something like that, I don't know where I'd end up.

>>735863659
No problem dood, I understand where you're at. I've been there and honestly the best thing for me was Dialectical Behavorial Therapy. It's the reason my depression and anxiety are in remission for the most part and I'm over two years clean from severe self harm. Lemme know if you got anymore questions, cause I've got lots of experience XD

>>735859800
Wew lad, Only 23? that's rough

>>735862256
i used to get terrible sleep paralysis. then i learnt to dream and control it. sleep paralysis was still uncomfortable but i knew what was happening, and could use it to launch into a lucid dream.

>>735856401
4chan seems a tad less shitposty than usual

>>735864044
Honestly dude that alone gave me a bunch of answers. I get terrible these past couple weeks with depression. I need to maintain control of the anxiety, but compared to this last while, that's not nearly as bad. I think I need to go outside for the first time in about a week and just get some air or something.

I hope everything is looking up for you, there are always people willing to help, even on /b/ of all places

>>735856401
Hey, thought I'd join this weird pity party/support group.

>extreme sadist
>very little empathy for other people
>constant, vivid, violent fantasies
>I'd never go through with them, but only because of the possible consequences, which I've been told is pretty troubling
>very likely I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, that's hard to come to terms with
>fearful of government surveillance/government in general
>various paraphilias, distrust of gov and other entities makes me very hesitant to go out and look for help
>mfw I'm popular and well liked with everyone I meet despite all this
>mfw I'm a fake person with the majority of people I meet
>mfw

>>735856401
>Border line personality disorder and former schizophrenic here.
And by that I mean
For a long time I heard voices in my head.
And have thoughts that weren't mine.
For some odd reason, it just went away all of it. the voices and thoughts.
I don't know why it just stopped.
>Only voice I hear is my own.
Maybe I've gone down so far I can't tell anymore.
The bpd kills me though. the loneliness the isolation, the sadness.
I kinda of wish the voices would come back. So I wouldn't be so lonely.
Its not like they were ever wrong about who I am. They were just mad at the choices I made.
They just wanted to see me do better, but werent so nice about it...

>>735865189
>mfw
You didn't post a face loser

>>735856401
Well whats your relation to mentally ill patents, i was called mentally ill 3 days ago because i got a comb stuck up my ass...
Also how much of /b/ do you think is mentally ill?

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>>735865776
Thats me 3 days ago :'( hurt so bad

>>735857410
If it helps, try seeing people better. I get worried a lot because I'm afraid that people see me worse and so I don't realise I see them that way too but I think I'm starting to see myself as better so it's not as easy to tell myself that they're as deranged as me or the reason I still am.

>>735865089
GO OUTSIDE. Just taking a walk around the block and trying to appreciate every little thing you see makes a difference. Try and accomplish small tasks like taking a shower or going some laundry, and then be proud cause you completed something. For the anxiety I'd suggest looking up Mindfulness and practicing the grounding technique that involves paying attention to what every sense feels whether it be the smell in the air, or what you feel on the fabric of the couch. Tell yourself in detail what you're experiencing regRding your senses and it'll calm you down real quick

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>>735865189
>extreme sadist
meto
>very little empathy for other people
meto
>constant, vivid, violent fantasies
meto
>I'd never go through with them, but only because of the possible consequences, which I've been told is pretty troubling
I would
>very likely I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, that's hard to come to terms with
Absolute garbage personality of low intelligence
>fearful of government surveillance/government in general
You arent special they dont care
>>various paraphilias, distrust of gov and other entities makes me very hesitant to go out and look for help
best help is bullet to the face
>mfw I'm popular and well liked with everyone I meet despite all this
You arent everyone hates you and laughs behind your back and probably to your face
>mfw I'm a fake person with the majority of people I meet
Trust me we see right through you
>mfw
mfw

>>735856648
Damn she met someone and got married within a year, while going through all that? That's the craziest part of this story to me.

>>735859800
Why do you feel that way when you step in shit? Is that really what the feeling feels like it? Maybe you just want it that way, not because you're trying to cover something else up but because you really don't like this feeling of stepping in shit. Like you don't want every thing else to feel like shit too but you can't stop it, can you? But you can, but you need to forget about changing it like it's some lever. You'll find a job eventually, maybe, but you won't worry about the money like you are now in the future so don't worry about it now and why worry about the future either? If you know what you need to make yourself better, if you know what's shit enough to have this desire you deny yourself to change it than why not change it? Maybe I'm wrong, but that doesn't matter. But you see what I mean, we can both be wrong and you can still be right about that, follow that and you'll see how we are wrong, I'm sure and from therre, who cares? Do whatever, just be well, yeah?

>>735865967
I REMEMBER YOU I was on that thread, how's the booty now buddy

>>735866363
>Do whatever, just be well, yeah?

You too anon, you too.

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>>735856401
Sure this could be therapeutic maybe. I have been on disability for going on 5 years now, gone through 3 psychiatrists and 3 therapists. As of last month I was informed they are stopping my therapy as they are out of ideas, essentially just giving on me.

I was diagnosed with severe panic disorder and depression, the panic disorder is where things get weird. The things that cause me panic attacks are just any kind of internal irregular feeling. If my left arm hurts my brain instantly tells me it's a heart attack. Right arm and it's a stroke. Have a headache? FUCKING nope it's an Aneurysm asshole. Add to that the fact I am physically incapable of burping leads to a constant build up of gas in my chest leading to pressure and more heart attack paranoia.

A few years ago I developed a bunch of irrational fears which led to severe agoraphobia. I was afraid that if I went outside I would float away. I was afraid that when I am laying down I will sink into my bed. My body also like to make me think I am choking when I am not. Food such as mashed potatoes, which I think it is actually impossible to choke and suffocate on, I have to eat in very small bites to prevent my brain telling me I am going to fucking die.

TLDR; I have an inner voice in my head that has ruined me and noone has been able to help and now therapists have given up.

>>735866054
Thanks anon, I'm going to go for it. I will definitely check that out, anything to get me being normal again haha.

Thank you for everything Anon.

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hey op. you may be sad but i'm gonna book a doctors appointment because of this thread. i've been feeling depressed for about 2 years now. just never wanted to go to the doctors about it. i've written down a list of symptoms etc. and tomorrow i will book an appointment :)

>>735867595
>The most normie one of all wants help like a typical normie. Biiiig surprise lol, yea but good on you bud just don't let them put you on pills. Trsut me, been there.

>Be me
>14 y/o NEET (6 years ago)
>Started slipping in school
>Started becoming incredibly anxious and depressed with periods of pure rage
>lose all friends
>Ineedhelp.gif
>Parents spend thousands on meds and tests
>I was diagnosed with aspergers syndrome, ADD, OCD and Type 1 bipolar disorder
>it took until 6 months ago to get the right meds
>doing a lot better but meds are increasingly expensive to the point where 30 is 80 dollars
>wellshit.jpg
Currently have 4 abilify and some Prozac. How fucked am i?

>>735862915
Aye, I getcha. Why fix it? You'll just knock something else loose. And if it doesn't, it would have gotten better on it's own right? It's still getting better though, isn't but why does it feel so wrong? Fuck me dead. What to do, aye? If 'good energy' can help than think about this when you shower so you can understand how to see yourself better.

>>735858982
>implying I can control my brain chemistry on a whim
Wew laddy

>>735867915
Uhm some people deal with that exact problem x10 with cancer. Imagine if one of your pills costs 1k and all it was doing was just giving you a possibility to live just a little bit longer

>>735867511
>an
Try getting into one of the experimental treatments with xtasy, Ketamine or lsd. The stuff is saving people's lives

>>735868348
I can't even drink alcohol, the part of being drunk where my head feels like it weighs a ton fucks my anxiety up real bad, I can't imagine what hard drugs would do.

>>735867803
>thinks having a bigger score on a website makes him better
>thinks having a worse mental health than others means those with lesser health concerns shouldn't get treatment

fuck off you faggot. i think i want pills. i already smoke weed everyday, do mdma once a week and ketamine once a week how much worse could it be? oh and i also ordered 20 xanax

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i have derealization, autism, anxiety, depression, body dysmorphic disorder,and i'm antisocial, shy, suicidal,with no talent no hobby, no interest,ugly face, small dick, manlet.. but my mom says i'm a 5/10, just to be kind.. now i'm here and begging for attention..

>>735868570
>mdma once a fucking week

gee I wonder why you're depressed dipshit.. Serotonin syndrome is a bitch I guess

>>735868739
Hey dumbass they are actually using mdma to help with depression

>>735867915
Fuck the meds. You're really have to. Don't be stupid though, if they are helping good. Whatever, it's your own life. You know what's best for you with the information others give to you based on what you know best of yourself as they know themselves to know you as the best of themselves and so on whatever fuck it. Just don't be stupid. You'll never have a good life. You know how some times pain feels good? That because pain is better in a way but to need it, to need anything, for fucks sake, self harm is worse than pills but life is shit so fuck who cares. Moving on. Hold steady to something. Find a cornerstone if you have to, just hold it in your mind and build ontop of it. When you're frustrated, find the things that make you hate the world but don't love the world to not hate it, that's just hate, you're just cutting your mind now. No, hate the world because it teaches you to hate it as it has been taught to hate, focus on teaching yourself better and not taking the lesson that we're all the same. We are but let the mortician worry about that shit, you're not me and that's what matters now but soon it won't so fuck that too. Just be good for yourself, your parents are you so don't worry about them. They're not you you, but shit, why do you think they came together to make you in the first place? Don't worry about yourself either, that's stupid because you're not smart enough to think about yourself like that. Not that I am either, not my fucking point. Just be well, remember you are you but the only person who that matters to is me because I call you you, just be ... whatever fuck it be that. You're golden. Fucking rock steady.

>>735868739
nah it's pretty common in the uk for people to do this. serotonin syndrome is an acute syndrome, it doesn't occur over months you silly cunt. at least understand what it is. it's the build up of serotonin to too high of a level in the short term, for example, by having 2g of mdma at once. not once a week.

>>735868717
are you doing anything to fix it?
visit a bioenergotherapeutist

>>735868717
go to the gym

>>735868739
>>735868969
oh and also to add to this i only started using drugs in the past year or so, i've been depressed for longer, and have had mental health issues since i was 15 or so. stop being so angry that's your mental disorder fuckhead

>>735856401
GF has bad anxiety and depression, and just a month ago she got diagnosed with PTSD after her abusive ex raped her a year ago.
Can't imagine it's too fun for her.

>>735868898
>>735868969

I understand what serotonin syndrome actually is but there isn't a clinical term for what happens when you permanently burn out the receptors from overuse of mdma. Meth does the same thing to dopamine sites.

>>735869014
been trying, but i can't, one thing is that i don't have any willpower..
>>735869010

been vistiting BUP and all shiet or someshit i'm sorry

>>735869201
Look up all the new data for using it for depression

>>735869201
my receptors aren't burnt out nigga. maybe they are or maybe they aren't tho, but neither of us can tell. i'm about to take a 3 month break from mdma though so we will see

>>735856401
Who killed Sean Spicer?

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>>735867595
Borderline is very hard to treat its mostly common in females. and even then its very hard to treat.
Because its not a chemical issue with the brain.
It is your personality and who you are. It's developed over time. therapy yields very little results.

Good luck op. I hope you are able to find your happiness

Homosexuality anyone ??

>>735868898

You CAN'T use mdma to treat depression. It down-regulates serotonin, you CAN'T take it therapeutically it's toxicity is too high you would have liver failure on top of the receptor burn-out causing yep you guessed it EVEN WORSE DEPRESSION. Learn biology before you start talking like you know what the medical community is doing summerfag

>>735856401
Fuck your OCD. Find an actual illness to score your empathy points with

>>735869651
yep ;) lol

What is the influence of English fog on traditional cab driving in China?

>>735869427
i've thought i was borderline since i was 15 or so. that's when my mental issues started. over time what i 'self diagnosed' changed from borderline, aspergers, adhd, i just don't know anymore. so i'm gonna go to the doctors. i feel like my borderline has improved since i've aged and the emotional highs have been blunted by depression leaving me with constant emptiness.

>>735869772
>lol
oh mu god.

>>735869653
they use it to treat PTSD not depression anyway

and MDMA isn't toxic to your liver nigger, you need to learn about the drug yourself, and not from what mr big guvment tells you

>>735869427
Normies get out! REEEEE

>>735867511
Find yourself. Forget the world. Who cares? That doesn't matter any more. You've given up. The world is full of poison air, alright? Moving on. What are you? What you say you are? Boy... You're not much are you. What ever, moving on. You'll be fine, you know how I know you'll be fine BECAUSE I'LL BE FINE AND I'LL DIE PROVING IT. But that doesn't matter. Fuck it. But we're the same, just not the same. See. We agree again. But whatever, that's not the point either. You're having a heart attack! Your hearts attacking! Haha! Be mindful of the things you tell yourself too, it's nice to keep this pace but some times reacting unnessescarily is not a good thing. Not that is what you're doing, but your body is in a way, why else would you feel down? Not because you're unable to control yourself but because you're unable to take control of yourself because you're afraid that the control of yourself is what causes this pain. And what pain for such a man who thinks so little of himself too, well, he'd just have to find a reason to avoid the world eventually. Wouldn't he? I don't know what to do about tomorrow but don't think you can't solve the past. Think about that when you're breathing the air inside and soon, not through any realisation, you'll observe that you have the desire to breath new air: poison or otherwise. I don't know. Maybe... I wanted to say something and not leave you feeling like what I would've felt like if I had said nothing too.. ???? Have good day.

>>735869772
Poor you, When were you diagnosed of being gay ??

>>735869772
Lol did your mom find out?

Is the Arena level point ratio of 1.875 average for subclasses suitable for more traditional design applications?

>>735869740
I know you don't care, but every one will tell you to fuck off too, but please don't. For my sake, if it wasn't for people like you I'd still be a whining faggot thinking complaining is enough to fix the problem. Thank-you for calling me a retard, it's what I don't want to be.

>>735869937
Everything you take passes through your liver moron even cannabis. What do you think most drug tests are actually looking for? Liver enzymes and or metabolites and yea with PTSD theres hopes that a few acute/cosmetic dosages of mdma could allow the person to "break-through" and be convinced by the normal talk therapy not unlike hypnosis.

>>735868898
It's not like medication you take daily though, you take it infrequently as a happy pill to break the slump, even that is a gateway to psychological addiction. It's better as a treatment in combination with therapy for severe anxiety disorders like ptsd. Mdma assisted therapy is what you're thinking about, it's not like painkillers

>>735856401
i have ADHD its nothing serious but for fucks sake its difficult to pay attention in class
i already repeated one semester

>>735870331
yeah i never said it doesn't pass through your liver. i said it isn't toxic to your liver. MDMA is neurotoxic, not toxic to your fucking liver man. you're just dumb as fuck, chill out this isn't 1980s drugs aren't evil anymore