I think i'm going to an hero tonight, unironically. It will

Why anon?

everything in life is constantly changing anon bro. situations can and will most likely improve if you can bare with it and give it time.


i hope you don't do it.

i hope u look back in time and are glad that you didn't.

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>>735781288
I live with my parents and all i am doing is being a complete waste of space for them. I want to get up, i want to do more but i'm too fucked in the head to do anything about it; my depression and anxiety keeps me in my room, locked up with my own thoughts keeping me in a constant loop of self deprivation. All i ever wanted from life was to keep those around me happy and i cant even seem to do that right, the only friends i have don't even care for me, i just sorta hang around them sometimes adding to conversations, me dying would be like a dog, they'd care at first but wouldn't care after a week. I just cant be fucked with this anymore, nothing going for me and i just cant deal with it anymore. So ima take the cowards way out and give up on myself and everyone around me.

ask them what they would do if you would die..
the death of a child, especially suicide, will haunt a parents' life forever

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>>735781675
I have 3 brothers and a sister who my parents love with all their hearts, i'm just the troubled one causing more shit than doing good.. At this point it would have been better if i was never born, and my god would it have been easier and happier for everyone if i just wasn't here to begin with..

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Also to at least give half-proof of me not baiting have some old cutting OC, it was a while ago and scars have pretty much faded but its something to prove how fucked up i am.

>>735781548
You have no idea how much i relate to this anon dont an hero yourself dude its not worth it

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>>735782040
How is it not, its making those peoples life around me easier. Yes they'd be sadder but they have enough comfort to be able to get back into a steady life and steady head space. Whats not worth doing anymore is living a life where all i can do is fuck with those around me, its unfair to all of them.

>>735781548
anon i feel the exact same way, and have the same experience. Don't kill yourself please. I beg of you. I'll be your friend. We can be in this shithole together

>>735782232
Someone to talk to isn't what i need, i need to feel wanted by someone that has real sentimental meaning to me, and i don't have the strength to even try build a connection anymore. I'm sorry that you feel this way but i'm too selfish at this point to even want to try something to change my mind, i just don't want to feel anything anymore; my life is a constant loop of being told to get up and get out but my body keeps literally freezing at the thought and the anxiety, it literally cripples me and i just fucking cant anymore.. This all hurts too much for me to handle, people say suicides for cowards but i just think they're too scared to do it.

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Shameful self bump to make sure enough people see, i wanna at least try make the only friend i've ever really had ( /b/ ) happy tonight.

>>735782407
i care about you

anon please don't do it

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Doesn't help anymore Anon, anybody can say they care but fact is you only care cause you know of my situation, you care for the situation and not me.

>>735781170
When you're 12 and schools out

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>>735782810
same as last post: >>735782838

>>735782866
Check'd and i honestly wish i could go back then, it'd be amazing to tell myself to just give up then before i end up wasting all those i loves resources they could be spending on stuff thats actually worth it instead of a son who can't even go outside for them, its honestly disgusting what i do but at the same time i cant do anything to stop it. Fuck me writing all this hurts the living hell outta me cause the self-realisation of what i've become hurts so fucking much..

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Out of all the real an hero threads i've seen, why is my one the only one where people actually seem to care, i've seen people post some of their life stories and i read in pain seeing all the shit they'd went through yet i still continued to post ''fucking do it fag''. Its ironic how i've become the victim of my own old stupidity, guess its easy to say i deserve it and cant deny it anymore, this is what i deserve.

Tell you what OP, I barely survive my suicide. If you do survive, it gets worst. Its best to talk about it first. But I know you will think it you won't help and it won't but its better then aternative. Hanging is extremely fucking painful, I could of go 7 seconds but I barely pull myself up. It will be the hardest thing you have ever done

>>735783254
I wish you good luck OP

He's not going to do anything

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>>735783254
Anon i'm not gonna survive, ima jump off a 20 story car park in my town to make sure i don't make things worse. If it was for myself then i wouldn't care but if it fucks up anyone elses life then it means literally more than the world to me.

>>735783332
10pm gmt.

Some of you are alright. Don't stand under the car park tomorrow

Do not do it.

>>735781170

please do not suicide... it is not the answer... your parents will grieve for years to come.

my best friend killed himself 10 months ago, and his entire family has been through hell and back because of it.

talk to your family, tell them your issues, please seek help to someone - even if its us strangers on the web

your life has meaning, regardless if you have purpose

Anon, life can be tough, but life can be amazing also. Don't ever consider giving up

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>>735783593
And how are they now? Decently steady life and in a headspace recovering from those around them. Anon people heal in under a year in most cases regarding suicides of the love of their lives; meanwhile my parents don't even really care for me, i take and cant even begin to attempt to give back and its too late to seek help. You have no idea Anon, believe it or not i don't want to die at all, i'm scared if anything, all i want to do is make those peoples lifes around mine easier, and this will make it harder for a year then easier for the rest of their lives.

>>735783605
Life is amazing if you can find happiness in the things around you, which i cant ever do. I'm constantly stuck in my room pretending to not care when inside all i can feel is that everything i ever seem to be able to do are acts of a complete selfish cunt and thats all i'm told. I fight a constant battle with myself inside to do anything and with this current mindset life cant be amazing and since i cant even begin to see anything getting better i just wont even try anymore, no point since i'll just end up doing even more damage trying than i would giving up.

>>735783239
because you are likely talking to people who are in the same situation or have been.
Speaking from my own experience what you need in life is a fucking structure. Go to bed at 12, wake up at 8am, go for a jog. I don't care if you are missing out on your favorite livestreamers, become a vod fag. If you've been fit in the past but you're self conscious about your current weight do it at 5am when nobody can see you.
Ask your parents if you can help around the house. Ask your grandparents if you can help them in their garden. Go get your license if you haven't already. Clean up your goddamn room. Just do anything. You need some kind of sense of achievement.
Sitting in your room self-loathing won't achieve anything. Multiple times you've said you aren't scared of ending yourself but you're too damn scared to talk to your own fucking parents and asking them for advice.

>>735783450
kek

Update anon?

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At least shoot up a school or something

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>>735784081
My parents are the only family i have left and Anon i've tried that shit, i've got myself into a day-day structure but it came to no avail on anything. I'm not self-conscious about my weight or anything since i'd like to say i'm a 4-5/10. My structure didn't do anything to help those around me in any way since it was only doing help for me. My parents don't care for the effort i put in they just seem to want me out of this state which i cant even begin to break cause of all the damage i've done to myself. Its harder to explain than to feel if you get what i mean but its to the point where i know for a fact getting a structure wont do anything cause thats not doing anything to help them, which is all i really care about.

>>735784322
No ones ever done anything to hurt me so i don't believe i want to take anyone else down with me, me hurting my family is enough i don't want to hurt anyone elses.

>>735781548
Kill your computer faggot

Go to the library to get an education or experience the hardships of work, it will put away the faggotry thoughts of anxiety that our constant state of hivemind communication around the globe bring to people who aren't either smart or dumb enough to ignore the excess information

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>>735784604
I've got a full education and had an invite to Newcastle University. Anon you keep referencing myself but that doesn't defeat the issue which is the peoples lives around mine are in a spiral revolving around mine. I'd do anything to help them but theres a different between me and the body i'm connected to. I want to go out, i want to feel better and i want to help myself, but even forcing myself doesn't work since whenever i try to leave my house i throw up, my legs shake to the point where i can barely walk and everything shuts down. I'm not over-dramatising anything since thats actually what happened to me last week.

>>735781170
Depression is an illness that van be fatal od not treated. You don't want to die, you want the pain to go away. Seek psychiatric help - you'll get drugs that will make you feel better. Your despair is not real, you are not worthless - it's just your imbalanced brain fucking with itself. There are drugs that will restore neurotransmitter imbalance in your brain. You are sick - go to the doctor. It's as if you had liver inflammation and decide to kill yourself instead of going to hospital. It's similar, but your brain is sick, not liver. And because the brain is sick, it alters your reasoning. Go to the shrink.

>>735784802
Have you talked to a real person about this?

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>>735784460
Just don't give a fuck.
Think about all the vidya games that will come out, all the technology like oculus rift where you can fuck in VR.

And perhaps be like me and just get yourself a 5'6 sexy doll that will cheer you up

I don't get people that wanna kill themselves when there's still time to kill yourself when you're an old fart, in the meantime just enjoy all the weird shit that life has to offer

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>>735784878
Anon i know all of this and i know why its happening. My mind has stopped releasing the endorphin and dopamine needed to give me the feeling of happiness. I know its a sickness and i've had help from the doctors before, they put me on meds but all that did was make it worse, i've been on 3 different medications all of which made me hyper sensitive to everything around me only making it worse for myself and therefor the ones around me..

>>735785024
Yeah ofc my parents know about this, they've had to deal with it first hand and i've told them everything, but they know and i know there is nothing i can do to break this loop and all they can ever do is the exact same as me, live every night and day in pain awaiting the inevitable, they've accepted it just as much as i have at this point..

>>735781996
Oh thank god

Thought for a second OP was my Friend, but not even he's this much of a edgy faggot

Anon i was in the same boat once. Heres what you need to do: apply to some job, loterally any job, mcdonalds. Youll have somwhere to go and something to do everyday and youll probably make friends with your coworkers. Youll see weird funny people everyday and have funny stories to tell your friends. Youll also be making some money, money you can use to buy some nice vidya, go to the movies, buy a bike and ride around town and create hobbies. Promise if youre doing shit all the time and aroumd people, you wont have time to mope

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>>735784802
Hey do you know Benjamin? He's my favourite guy around Newcastle, and a true inspiration. He's wicked smaht but also worked a long time in fast foods, no shame in that.

My sister used to have your problems. It was after a dramatic incident for my family, I was too young and only suffered mild sleepwalking afterwards. I don't know what the fuck the psychiatrists told my sister, she worked on herself and one day she fucking went away from home and started a job in a very far town . Used to teach in universities before, now has full tenure.

I believe if she could, you can too, since you are my brother in spirit. Good luck faggot stay away from you spiders, love from europe

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>>735785114
That would only mean either having to take more from those around me or i'd have to get out, both of which i couldn't do without breaking down another night and ending with me never doing so. As i've stated before its a genuine loop which is impossible for my selfish ass to break due to how i feel for the people around me and what my body cant do without breaking down and going out meanwhile looking like a complete tard constantly throwing up, gagging and on a literal limp due to loss of feeling in my legs will only bring more attention to myself which is the opposite of what i want.

>>735785197
Make sure he stays safe Anon, most people here knows how painful any of this shit is and last thing i'd want for anyone is to feel even remotely similar to me or even close to depression.

>>735785218
Also tried it.. I got a job down at a warehouse moving stuff but this is what put me in the current situation of not even being able to leave. Literally everyone there was doing anything they could to fuck around with me or piss me off and i just got sick of it and ended up breaking 2 of the guys noses and me getting fired just proving my original thought, all i do is end in as a dangerous person to my surroundings which again, thats my biggest fucking fear but thats all i can do. My life and mindset of what i want to do are complete opposites meaning i cant even begin to try and change.

We keep losing good Anons to suicide.
Don't do it OP
Do what multiple Anons said.
1. Get routine, eat better, get job, talk to people irl, maybe work out a little

2.

3. Profit

>>735785485
my mistake I thought you were australian
suck my balls british scum why don't you

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>>735785485
Don't live in Newcastle just had an invite due to my grades at the end of school and shit. Also i wouldn't be able to leave my parents like that, even tho i do all of this to them i can never seem to get away from them. I do hang out with them, i try watch movies etc to keep them happy but they know its all a lie to try help them which only makes it worse since they just want me to get better. I wish i could do that stuff but their happiness is the only thing i care about.

>>735785639
Tried it Anon.. Step 2 only ended in my parents breaking down again cause they knew i wasn't getting better and only lying to them.

>>735785727
I said 10pm gmt for a reason.. Sorry anon

>>735781548
me and 3 other people in this post feel the same

every college dropout relates

don't kill yourself. if you really can't change your life, workout, quit porn video games and drinking /smoking alone.

>>735785197
me too, was worried for my friends and family. OP don't do it

>>735781548
Get better meds.
Exercise
Get laid

Take it from everyone in the thread, dont do it nigger

>>735785836
watch some of Jordan Petersons stuff.
Really helped me out. Have much better outlook on life now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7E_4c_s9y8

Watch Maps of meaning series
channel:https://www.youtube.com/user/JordanPetersonVideos/playlists

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>>735785896
Don't drink, don't smoke nor do i see any point in working out, it only acts as a distraction from the constant thoughts which will only end in prolonging those the suffering those around mine lives.

>>735786009
Just keep those close to you happy and keep them safe Anon.

>>735786009
Too much of a beta to get laid considering i cant leave my house nvm try get as close to someone as to fuck them

>>735786058
>mfw first time i've ever seen /b/ be moral in a real an hero thread after 6 years of lurking.

>>735786150
I'll have a look now, again i'm still not sure on whether i will or not tonight so giving me shit to distract myself might give me a bit more time. Thanks anon.

>>735785836
Fucking brits took my grandpa into their shitty african concentration camp

Then again you have jack to do with that. And so is with your parents, they'll only be happy when you are happy with yourself, if they are decent.

Just try a slow walkin talk, slow walky talk. You can do a lot by working on yourself step by step. Good luck again

Fuck it you convinced me. End it. An hero tonight and leave all those around you in misery. They'll get over it, given enough time.

Or you could stop blaming all the shit in your life (that is probably comparable to the shit in the lives of others) and fucking do something about it.
You are in control of your own life and also your death (until your natural time comes). Choosing death over life, which is infinitely better than nothingness and filled with possibilities, is the action of a cuck.

"The dead know only one thing; it is better to be alive".

Unfuck yourself and in a few years time you will look back on this and laugh.

>>735786353
Not Op, this advice is far too simplistic, panic attacks and shit come from the brain, it's really hard to overcome. Still, 100% agree on everything.

>>735786231
get drunk tomorrow you fucker, it'll make you feel better

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>>735786246
Holding a vendetta to an entire country when it was probably only 100 to blame max isn't healthy anon, i can understand why you felt so much pain and anger towards the people who did it but you cant hate millions of people for the actions of so few compared to the real number.

>>735786353
Fuck.. Why is it the comments that directly tell me that have the better effect, i want to live but why wont my body let me leave, if i could just get out of the house now i'd be able to help myself but i cant anymore, any idea on how i could stop all the shit from happening when i try to leave? I've tried distracting myself, forcing it and doing something else to try trick my brain into thinking, any recommendations i will try in hope i'll be able to get out.

>>735786466
This anons right but i'm literally willing to try anything at this point, even simplistic stuff will at least give me hope at this point.

>>735786508
Drinking only distracts someone from the inevitable which makes it worse for me and my family.

>>735786231
>>735786150
>I'll have a look now, again i'm still not sure on whether i will or not tonight
right on, OP
Sort yourself out.

ok /b/ It's time for us to band together and to weaponise our autism once again. We need to find out the ip of this mans computer. Track down the location, and send the co-ordinates to the police. If we can find the location of a seemingly innocuous flag during the HWNDU campaign we can sure as fuck save a life

>>735786466
Fuck man, I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety and take Xanax daily to cope. Without it I wouldn't be able to leave the house.

I've been through therapy and all the anti depressants you can imagine (not even depressed but helps with anxiety) and had all the side effects you wouldn't wish on anyone.

An heroing is the last thing I would do, I don't blame anything for my condition it's just something that happens and you have to manage it.

If you can't leave your room you aren't on the right drugs. Benzos are not prescribed in the UK but beta blockers like propranolol work well.

Point is, however low you feel now is temporary if you get the right help!

If you knew me you would have no idea that I suffer from chronic anxiety. It down to medication, and there is no shame in that.

Alright bro, some harsh but honest advice here.

You are planning on jumping, right?

Guess what?

You're fucking dead. BAM. Now what?

How about you go and write a note and leave it on your desk saying "hey mum and dad, love you both, I'm off to try to make it all better".

And then, when you're up on that parking lot looking down into oblivion, don't jump.

Turn the fuck around, go back down the way you came, and go have a fucking adventure. Because the alternative is death. Fuck it, if that's what you chose you're already dead, right?

For all your family knows you're dead and gone, so go and experience "lone wanderer". Go and create a whole new personality. Because your old one died up on that parking lot.

Who knows? Maybe at some point in your adventure you'll become something that you realise you can be proud of.

Go and leave your old life at that parking lot, and get out and start your new one.

Godspeed, adventurer

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>>735786615
Thanks man, in all honesty i am beginning to want to try again but i don't know if i can risk another huge setback considering it'd just get me back in this exact situation. I didn't come here to complain i wanted advice but i didn't wanna come off as weak even on 4chan cause it'd just come off as bait.

>>735786626
Its fine dude, honestly. Rn this is the best help i can get, police would only prolong it and i'd have the attention of more only ending in me committing without the stream, plus the best time for that would be tonight if anything if i do end up doing the stream which by the posts rn doesn't seem likely anymore.

>>735786734
If you can relate to it then you can understand, it takes a lot over here to be prescribed different anti-depressants since they say ''it just hasn't kicked in yet''. I still take my luvox every day but look at me now, all it does is end in a daily relapse as a restful of it wearing off.

>>735786353
>"The dead know only one thing; it is better to be alive".
The dead know nothing.

>>735781170
All these pictures posted here are all about. Well I'm not this and I'm not that...guess that's that. Well that's not how life works. You can change. If your not someone who anyone likes then change. If your life is going to shit change it. It's the faulty liberal mind that thinks the world has to change for it and when it doesn't everything has to end. Rise above it and overcome it.

>>735787062
The dead are dead

I *technically* have committed suicide before (heart stopped, brain function ceased) and I found my way back.
Listen to me here: You may be alone out there, with some serious shit going on in your head and with your body.
Talk to us. Despite the way 4Chan is portrayed, we can care if you truly care.

We're here to listen. When did this start?

>>735787141
how did it feel anon

>>735787062
I think the point of the quote is not to take the words literally...

>>735786597
>>735786353
>Fuck.. Why is it the comments that directly tell me that have the better effect, i want to live but why wont my body let me leave, if i could just get out of the house now i'd be able to help myself but i cant anymore, any idea on how i could stop all the shit from happening when i try to leave? I've tried distracting myself, forcing it and doing something else to try trick my brain into thinking, any recommendations i will try in hope i'll be able to get out.
It can be done, Anon.
You need to do it one step at a time. Prepare for little setbacks, but don't lose sight of your goal. I had literally the same issues and was suicidal for many months.
Understanding that you do have a problem is a good first little step. Now you need to be willing to change. That means actually do some work. It isn't easy, but it's not as hard as you might imagine right now.
Watch some of Jordan Petersons videos. Maps of meaning is a good start. Begin with the 2. lecture, the first is only an introduction. You'll understand how your mind works and how your outlook on things actually affects your physiology.
You can work on yourself doing seemingly banal practical things and watch them actually having an effect on your being.
Don't give up, Anon. Slay that dragon.

Empty. If you feel like you have nothing now, then you need some fucking learning up here.


The last few seconds were a lifetime of regret and the worst thing I've ever felt. I ended it, and the pain did not stop.

Don't. Just don't. I wouldn't wish that void unto anybody.

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Ughh fuck it.. You guys convinced me to give it 1 last try before i end it like this, all you guys at least deserve that after putting up my pussy ass complaining for the past hour, if there was a way i could update you all i would but idk, just know you've all genuinely helped me today and for as little as that means to some of you it means a lot to me, thanks to everyone in here, even if you came to watch the stream at least you cared enough to look in here. You've all potentially saved a life today but i cant say the same for tomorrow or any time after, gl to all of your guys lives and i hope things get better for you all if anything goes south just look to those close to you like i sorta did here. Thank you all <3

(I will still be hanging out here until it 404's but not typing paragraphs anymore.)

It's not over yet. Give it another go, and this time you'll be ready.

Life is so much better than the abyss of self-loathing you'd cast yourself into.

There wasn't a heaven. There wasn't hell. No Valhalla.

Just eating away at yourself for eternity.

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>>735787447

>>735781548
They are going to miss to you bro. Don't do it. The worste thing for a parent is having their child die. Plus your funeral will cost a shit ton.

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>>735787447
>mfw meme-magic did it again

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>>735787447

>>735781170
Hey, that meme is me. I was very clever in class and now a total NEET at almost 30yo

>>735781170
My friend. Don't do it. After 6 months of being in lower back pain I was told I have degenerative disc disease. I know it's not a big deal but it feels like it. t's ok. I'm stoned af too so it's hard to say what I want.

You made this thread yesterday.

Just fucking do it already, you attention seeking faggot.

>>735781170
Dude. Been there. Take a few months off from the weed. That will help get your head right. Also stay off fucking Facebook and Instagram. As soon as you wake up exercise. You'll start feeling better and realize there are people you can still screw and dogs you can still pet. That's what keeps me going minus the screwing other people

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>>735781170
Clinically depressed here. I've dealt with this my whole life. Others injure themselves, my "self harm" method is exhaustion. I'll stay awake and exert myself until I pretty much fall.
Anyway, I've dealt with my depression thru discipline, hard and simple. Even when the pain is so strong you just want to curl in a ball and die, it is then that I remind myself that it's a condition, that gotta push thru and endure it.
Yeah, it's hell on earth sometimes, but it's my personal crusade to live to at least find that one small glimmer of happiness. Might never come, but still wanna live to taste what it is at least once. Maybe won't happen ever, but gotta try. If I make it then my life won't have been in vain; that'd be my ultimate victory.

TL;DR: if you don't have the strength to survive, get medical help, pills or just off yourself. The choice is yours.

>>735781170
Wagwan op where in the UK you at?

>>735781548
I have a similar situation. But I'm convinced at least my sister would miss me. Also, I'm afraid of death, so I'm not going to have the guts to kill myself. But it's constant misery and a feeling of worthlessness and loneliness.

Also, you're most likely right. They would soon get over your death.

So fuck them. Either by killing yourself or by somehow bettering yourself and then leaving them in the dust as you progress.

>>735787141
Don't listen to this dude, his brain stopped functioning, obviously a mong