/lit/ and /adv/ were right faggots and didt give me any good

google is that way retard ---------->

1. kill yourself
2.
3.

If you cant find that information yourself, without it being handed to you on a platter, you have already failed as a writer.

Sage

>>735730905
nice mantits

i feel like that tattoo is an inside meme that they will regret later in life

>>735730905
did someone cut your hair with a bayonet?

You realize this is going to take years, even decades, right?

Nobody just pays for material that isn't guaranteed or written yet. That only happens with proven moneymakers. Books don't sell well now.

If you expect all these things right away, you're out of your fucking mind.

>>735730905

I actually am a writer, and I have to assume you're 'avin a laugh with those questions.

>>735731079
this

/thread

>>735730905
You sound like you're an edgy 15 year old. Your writing probably sucks dick and you should give up now. You're not going to work with the best and Noone is going to pay you to write in "like paris." and if you have to ask how many word pages a novel is, you have already failed at writing a novel. Get a day job, kiddo

>>735730905
>> how many Word pages
Literally an hero

>>735731253
i recently lost my job faggot so how about you answer me if you know. fuckin dipshit. I need to pay my rent.

Sauce on OP's picture? I want to marry those boobs.

>>735731293
>>735731416
why are people acting like this is a stupid question? i counted words in a novel i had in my desk and compared it to how many words are in a page on Word. There were fewer per page in the novel.

>>735731430
If you cant figure out these questions you're better off at McDonalds

>>735731578
>>counted the number of words in a novel
Are you autistic?

>>735731578

That all depending on typography, printing and alignment, as well as page size ya fucking kook

>>735731687
i can google agents but i dont know if they are legit the best. so how about you just answer me instead of acting all smart. your a fucktard.

Seriously, this shit can be found on Google.

For a first book without any experience between 20,000 and 40,000 words, but this won't be a novel it will be a novella.

For Rowling, King and Martin Yea, for you, fuck no. You need to sell your first story then show promise of a second original idea to prove you aren't a one hit wonder. Then they'll consider advances.

You don't necessarily need an agent.

My advice, you want to be a writer? Then write, but don't do it expecting money. There are millions of people who have good ideas. Only a handful with enough talent and luck to make it.

Get the book written, then consider all of this shit.

>>735730905
Alright, trolling aside (because you are so fucking trollable), I'm willing to be legit with you.

1.) Is the pic untrelated? Type that shit if so.
2.) You are aware that half of a writer's job is research?
3.) What the fuck is a word page and do you know a novella from a novel?
4.) Can you actually fucking write?

>>735731430

1. Books are measured by words, not pages. Short story under 20k, Novella 30k, Novel 40k+, most market novels are around 80-85k words. Fantasy are much larger.

2. You may get an advance once you're successful.

3. Find the books you like, and figure out who the agents are. Then look them up on Twitter.

You're not going to make any money. Ever. I do, but you won't.

>>735730905
>1. how many Word pages is a novel?
Aim at about 50.000

>2. do publishing houses pay you while you write?
wanna guess?
Would you pay a retard in advance who asks /b/ for novel-writing advice?


>3. which agents are the absolutely best? i need to work with the best.

Of course. Only the best for your warrior cats fan-fiction.

>>735731578
Because a novel doesn't have a set length. Have you ever read a fucking book? You use however many word pages it takes to tell the story you dumb faggot

>>735731806
i know there must be a standard though.

>>735731800
just one page idiot.

>>735731910
Depends on the publishing house and the any autistic request the author might have

Post some writings for the lols

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>>735731825
>legit the best
>your a fucktard

Yeah I bet you're gonna be the next Hemingway.

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>>735731825
Why the fuck does your sonic recolor backstory need the best agent

>>735731910
there are standard pages to download.

>>735732108
cool where?

>>735732050
I dont write in english though since its not my first language

>>735732255
What's your primary language?

Start anticipating your fucking audience..

Excerpt from OP's book:
Blade slid his entire head into Sonic's butthole, moaning. Sonic clenched and unclenched, getting Blade's head deeper and deeper.....

>>735731847
>You're not going to make any money. Ever. I do, but you won't.
just tell me how much you make you untalented retard and i'll mulitply it with 10, thats how much im gonna make faggot

>>735732255
We can manage

>>735732371
This will be a best selling Sonic Recolor Backstory

>>735732335
i write in swedish

>>735732471
Good, now answer all of these questions..

>>735731842

>>735732371
You post things that people on /b/ think is retarded. You might make money as a test subject.

>>735732471

OPs new book
>the boy who punched a bees nest

>>735732371
You sound like an absolute fuckin asshole. I hope you fail miserably, faggot.

>>735732717
The mantits that shook the world

>>735732753
I sound like an asshole? how about all the bitter assholes who cant handle the fact im a creative person trying to make it?

>>735732819
Those creative Sonic recolors dont make themselves

>>735732885
why are you yammering on about sonic recolors? is that what you write about? i dont write kid stuff shit. Im making a novel about real human anguish.

>>735732819
>>735732981

Fuck. I hate when I get troll'd.

>>735733060
yeah, i hope you feel bad about how you treated me, dickface

>>735732981
Thats been at least two people dude

>>735733233
shits stupid i dont even play sonic

>>735733293
but why do you write about him?

>>735733397
I wont, im writing a novel about a refugee coming to a different country

>>735733293
Show us some of your writing so we know its not Sonic

>>735733584
im not sure i should. you peopel dont seem very helpful. also it is in swedish and im worried you might steal ideas.

>>735733584
>>735733531
do it faggot

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I'm just going to drop some advice in here real quick and then bail on this shitty thread because I have to go to work.

Pic related is Stephen King. One of the most successful authors of the modern era, an actual millionaire who got rich by writing books. This guy lived in a literal shack in the woods, with no electricity, for most of his twenties. He didn't get his first novel published until he was almost 30, he only got a couple thousand bucks for it, and most of the time prior to that was spent living in abject poverty, writing his ass off, working shit jobs and trying to sell short stories to shitty magazines. And bear in mind that all of this was in the late 20th century, before the internet made it possible for every no-talent retard to self-publish their shitty erotic fanfiction on Amazon.

I'm not saying you shouldn't write, but it's not the kind of profession you just fall into easily. You will work very hard and make almost no money at first, with absolutely no guarantee whatsoever that you will ever make any money in the future. The vast majority of writers never make any money and end up frustrated and bitter. It's not enough to enjoy writing or to be good at writing, you have to care enough about getting published that you're willing to dedicate the entirety of your life to it and be prepared to fail miserably.

If you're just looking for a quick way to make money, get a job, install Uber and become a driver, go to school and move into student housing, do literally ANYTHING but write, because trust me, it is not for you.

>>735734018
why do people do this? just because you were a failure as a writer doesnt mean anyone else is going to be a failure. dont try to discourage talent for you're own failings in life

>>735730905
1.write the book
2.???
3.profit

simple.

>>735730905
Orwell is shit compared to Huxley.

>>735734394
you think there's talent in here? top fucking pip

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>>735730905

>>735730905
you come to the dumbest board on 4chan to figure out how to get published? Stop writing, you're an idiot.

>>735733724
Blade slängde hela hans huvud i Sonic's butthole, moaning. Sonic knytade och unclenched, får Blade huvud djupare och djupare .....

>>735733696
I'll guess the plot
>Jamal comes to Sweden
>Jamal is opressed, cause Sweden only gives him a place to live and a shitload of money #JusticeforJamal
>Out of desperation Jamal rapes blonde swedish bimbo
>Rape opens portal into other dimension
>Jamal enters wizard school
>swedish bimbo came during rape, transforms into rapegirl
>rapegirl fights crime at night by getting raped and cucking Olaf
>Jamal finishes wizardschool and can now turn Volvos into carbombs
>But the evil patriarchy isn't asleep.
>Don't want Olaf cucked
>They send out evil fuckin'whitemale wizard
>Jamal fights Wizard, but carbombs don't melt wizardry
>enter rapegirl
>fuckin'whitemale wizard runs to rapegirl and rapes her
>allmenrape.jpg
>Jamal finds magic Volvo and transforms it
>Super-Carbomb destroys Wizard in the nick of time (there was a countdown or something)
>Jamal rapes rapegirl
>Olaf is cucked forever
The end...or is it?

>>735734394
You have no talent and you're going to be a failure. Have fun, faggot.

>>735735012
that is so fucking stupid, no its about a boy who comes into a cold white world. and he decides to become a painter. as a painter he makes the society more colorful, you see its a symbol of milticulturality.

>>735735251
i will not be a failure, i will be a success.only faggots like you are trying to stop me because you dont like my message.

>>735734394
I'm not trying to discourage anyone, if you want to take a shot at it, go ahead. I just think you should know what you're getting into.

For example, if you go to school and study let's say engineering, you're going into a competitive field where you have to know a lot to succeed. You're not guaranteed a job. However, as long as you're competent, understand what you're doing, and keep persistently applying for jobs, eventually you'll probably get one. Creative fields are not like that. Success in a creative field is determined partly by the individual's talent and mostly by dumb luck and a number of other completely unfair circumstances that are completely beyond your control. Not only are you not guaranteed success, you are statistically likely to fail. Again, if you want to go for it go for it; just understand what you're signing up for. If your heart's not in it, you're going to crash and burn, and even if your heart is in it you might still crash and burn. It's a matter of being want it badly enough that you're willing to assume that risk.

OK now I actually am going to work. Good luck, faggot OP, because you're going to need a lot of it. tbh your novel sounds like "Faster than the Speed of Love" by Brian Griffin from what you've told us so far. You get to laugh if you prove us wrong, but not before.

>>735735401
I don't care about your message. Your attitude is what convinces me you will be a failure.

>>735735612
what do you think is wrong with my attitude?

>>735735702
You come off as a pretentious teenager.

>>735735702
everything, you should put an end to your life right now, you're not worth the oxigen you're wasting

>>735735842
>>735735893
said the fucking retards jelous im actually doing something important with my life.

>>735735313
>its about a boy who comes into a cold white world. and he decides to become a painter. as a painter he makes the society more colorful, you see its a symbol of milticulturality.
lol you can't possibly be serious. This has to be a troll, I refuse to believe anyone irl is this much of a stereotype.

>>735736025
thats just the setting of the story and how is it a stereotype when nobody has written a book like that?

>>735735984
texting wont get you to the afterlife, stop wasting time and kill yourself already

I bet Op is not really writing a book, but it's just screening internet threads to then publish a silly book for edgy teenagers XD

>>735736161
>nobody has written a book like that?
jesus you can't be real after posting a picture of 2+2=5

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Pic related, it's OP

>>735736241
that was a nice tat

>>735732777
recognizzzed

>>735736161
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6lsRjQK59M

>>735736805
thats not even an antiracist statement you idiot.im writing a book that will help ppl welcome human beings fleeing.

>>735736161
>le poor refugee comes to oppressive white country
>le ebil white people are oppressive to them, probably won't even use their pronouns
>le refugee becomes painter, makes shitty art about multiculturalism
at this point the story could go one of two ways:

1
>le sad ending
>nobody appreciates le refugee's beautiful soul
>never succeeds as artist
>either dies somehow or gets framed for a crime by le ebil white people

2.
>le happy ending
>le refugee meets le girl
>le girl sees the passion in his beautiful soul
>cucks her ebil white boyfriend Olaf for him
>white bf tries to take revenge somehow
>backfires, le beautiful refugee is triumphant
>refugee becomes successful artist with help of girl

Either way this book is literally Tumblr the novel.

>>735737104
no actually this is how it ends

people are trying to stop his art and throwing white at him and all the anger and turmoil is makingit all grey. just shows how idiots are ruining there own nation by not accepting a dash of color

>>735737019
the internet told you to kill yourself, why aren't you dead already?

>>735737019
First of all, if this isn't bait, then you should immediately stop consulting random strangers on the internet. Secondly, if this is how you respond to any criticism you should just stop right now and work in fast food.

>>735737361
OK, so basically the first ending then. Message is:
>blah blah blah racism is icky
>white people are evil and should be more tolerant

Like I said, Tumblr the novel.

>>735737545
then maybe i will just ask peopel on tumblr for advise instead then fuckhead

>>735737500
you are so fucking stupid cant you see peopel are harrassing me thats why im responding like that. usually im a very polite and nice person.

>>735737629
Probably should have done that in the first place faggot, if you honestly thought you could tell /b/ you were writing a novel about multiculturalism and not expect everyone to shit all over it. If you're looking for a safe space where everyone will gobble up your garbage-tier SJW novel and tell you it's wonderful then yes, Tumblr is the place for you.

Also, your grammar is atrocious, I seriously hope you weren't lying about writing in Swedish, because if you're planning to write in English then God help you.

Anyway, have fun gargling refugee cum and collecting rejection letters. This time I really, truly, seriously am going to work.

>>735737704
this is exactly what a failure as a human being would respond to criticism, you should definitely kill yourself

>>735737704
OP confirms that he is, in fact:
-Offended that people on the internet don't like generic and terrible ideas
or
-Baiting people

>>735737961
what do you work as? a gay prostitute?

>>735737500
>fast food
this is my favorite livestream
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3Ng57hKc34

>>735730905
>>735731430
You're a fucking idiot nevermind how difficult it is to establish yourself as a writer in this day and age. You expect any publisher to lift you out of your predicament simply because you think you have some ideas? Or that the top agents will even care about a nobody that is a nonfactor and has noe experience in the industry? No ofcourse publishers dont pay you while you write you isiot. It's not your average dayjob. And no they wont send you on vacations, especially without any experience or prospects they can rely on. It's a hassle to publish and even more so a new writer. The yearly wage is how much do your fuckn works sell, you completel fool. Also if you have to ask how long a novel is, you are not a fuckn writer. Forget it, the run is over. Storiess aren't novels based on how many word pages they fill out, you outright idiot. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume you haven't even tried breaking into the industry yet or even written a coherent work that is even remotely ready for publisher's appraisal.
Tl;Dr You're a fuckn idiot who fell for the glamorized lifestyle of authors in media and think reality is anywhere near as accomodating. No you stupid fuckwit, the world owes you nothing. You thought authors have wages, that just displays your utter disconnect from reality.

>>735739223
i knew writers dont have wages, but i just thought maybe they got payed some in advance, like 4-5 grand or so before the books start selling.

>>735739731
>>735739731
Are you serious? Why would they pay someone whose works aren't even proven to sell yet? It's mind boggling how out of bounds some kids today are. Let me put it like this; There are hundreds of thousands of writers that tried to make their way in the industry, a small percentage of which can actually write , let alone write interesting stories with gripping narratives and an even smaller percentage that actually gets any exposure or promotion (which you only get if you're established in the industry or your work looks really, really promising and that's REALLY promising) The queen of lucky breaks and shoddy writing JK Rowling only got a break because she wrote a story based on a niche which happened to gain traction with impressionable kids with no familiarity with good writing and was lucky enough for a publisher to take pity and run with her pitifully mediocre stories. That was a one in a million occurrence and where is she now? Cashing in on the franchise as much as possible after her latest crime novel took a nose dive in reviews. With that being said, unless your writing packs a powerful punch and you bring something remotely interesting and new to the table, new writers have the smallest chances of even being able to make a living as a writer, let alone sell.

What youre thinking of is journalism. Writer isnt a dayjob, dumbass

>>735732193
>spoon feed me
faggot

>>735735575
This
Fucking this post sums it up.
>Remember OP any idiot can write a book
/Thread

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>>735735313
Lol this is sounds like the plot to pleasantville
>mfw

>>735730905
I'm an editor at Random House. We usually don't solicit new authors. But you never know. What's your top idea?