What's the oldest you have gone? I met an older lady at

Greentext it? Would love to know more

>>735679105
I DEMAND GREENTEXT

>>735679105
when i was 7-15 my aunt molested me, she was 40-45 at the time

>>735679373
Any story?

>>735679294
Sorry to be "that" fag, but I don't know how to green text. But I have so many depraved stories I could probably write a book.

Was working on the road once and so desperate for sex I hooked up with an electric wheel chair bound, FTM beast. But holy fuck if her...his....it's pussy wasn't the tightest I ever had.

I'm a sick depraved fuck!

>>735679373
lucky cunt

>>735679105
43. I was 18.

>>735679669
not particularly. as soon as i could start producing cum she always made me cum deep inside of her. never allowed anal
>>735679740
its not that lucky, plenty of mental baggage. i thought all aunts do it, thats what she told me at the time. when she stopped (i was too old for her) i thought i did something wrong and hated myself

>>735679865
You dont fuck her any more? that sux, dude

>>735679105
Man I wish

I've fucked a 72 y/o man... guessing no one wants me to greentext that one.

>>735679919
she stopped when i was 15 nearing 16. she was a pedo and i was too old by then.

>>735679105
how'd you get from strangers-in-a-fabric-shop to fucking?

>>735679105
I've finger fucked a 100 year old and fucked an 85 year old... thank god for dementia

>>735679998
oh well.

>>735680025
magic :D

>>735679105
13

40 when I was 21.

>>735680026
sooo, rape?

>>735679681
pics or it never happened

>>735680025
>I Went to Joannes for some black out cloth and a few other supplies for a projector screen.

>Get to the store and have no clue what I'm doing, but I had a list of supplies from a youtube video.

>Wandering around the store see a random lady, she looks like she knows how to crochet the shit out of some shit, she probably knows where I can find black out cloth.

>Hey lady, you know where they keep this stuff, show her my list. It's a big list believe me.

>>735680025
>She grabs the list and starts going down it slow

>She gets to the bottom finally, and looks up and says your making some funny curtains, you don't need a staple gun to make curtains.

>I tell her what I'm making and she says Ooohh in that Edith Bunker kinda way. She laughed and slaps then grabs my arm.

>You must be handy she says, my husband was handy like that too she adds. I'll show you where everything is.

I've always wanted to fuck my best friend's mom but i've screwed up
with her. Like a 59 yo tall big woman with big soft ass

>>735680025
>She's showing me where everything is talking up a storm the whole time. I get the whole "The kids don't visit anymore, husband died a few years ago, cats, slow computer "cell phones how do those things work right".

>Feel bad, keep conversation going ask a bunch of questions I really don't want the answers to. No I actually don't care two fucks about the rules to bridge, but listen to her explain for like 15 minutes.

>Start getting this feeling in my gut that I'm an asshole. This lady is lonely and going out of her way to help me and I'm silently being a douche to her in my head.

56
I was 37. Still in touch and I can fuck her anytime I want.

>>735679105
One night stand, I was 21, she was 48.

Now I'm 35, my wife of 8 years is 49.

>>735680025
>Somehow get on the subject of her husbands favorite drink. Harvey Wallbanger. Tell her I've never had one, or even heard of one.

>She offers to make me one if I ever come over for a visit because I'm such a nice young man. "Her husband had a very nice bar he built in the basement I just have to see it."

>We have been talking in the store for almost 2 hours. This lady will not shut up, but I'm gonna be nice cuz I was an asshole earlier

>She also offers to sew my blackout cloth.

>Sure why not got nothing better to do since half my afternoon is already gone. Tell her I'll be over in a few hours.

>>735681901
Keep going op

Fucking old women is the definition of beta.

Women have a use by date: it's 40 years old.

If you're having to fuck one over 40, you should be over 50, and not by choice.

>>735679681
>Doesn't lurk
>Proceeds to post

64 and I was 23. It was really weird at first but then got real good. I was drunk. Also busted a nut inside her. She gave the best blowjobs known to man. She wanted something more serious then I ran off.

>>735680025
>Pull up her house about an hour later with my black out cloth. Her house looks like she's been living there since she was 8 and gunsmoke was still on tv.

>Green on brown on green on brown. Did houses come in any other colors back in the 50's/60's

>Step in the house and everything is beige. Husband died in the late 80's, hasn't re-decorated since Bush was in office, but its clean

>Look over in the corner see an old dusty computer, make mental note to talk about computers otherwise I'll be fixing something that should have been shot 15 years ago.

>Hey do you know anything about computers? Fuck Me In The Ass. "Yeah a thing or two" signing my own death warrant

>>735682338
I doubt anyone chooses to be over fifty

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>>735679681

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>>735680026

>>735679105
My oldest isn't really old.

But she was 26, I was 20.

We fucked everyday for like two months. I had my own apartment in Cali, and she used to bring my cigs, buy me beer, food.

Fuck, that was heaven. Unfortunately I had to move back to my home state, my funds went dry.

Older bitches will randomly show up with gifts and let you fuck whenever you want, wherever you want. Shit is nice.

>>735679105
My mom's car fingered me behind her friend

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>>735682338

when a girl is going to taste her 2nd cock, she's already a wrecked whore.

when a woman is over 30, she's only interesting for archeologist betas.

a women over 35 is literally unfuckable -- but since people do fuck animals, balloons and other shit, some old slut can still get some sex action (clearly the pleasure is limited to "I can brag with friends")

>>735682572
How does a car finger?

How do you find older women that want to fuck with you? I'm not talking about grandmas but rather mid 40 MILFS or something. I'm 21 and I guess some older women might want to have an adventure with a younger guy.

>>735682478
%triforce

>>735682460
MORE

>>735682659
>>735682788
being this newfag

>basically is a fake story posted and reposted million of times by a 12yo gay nigger who updated details of the story every time someone pointed out the absurdly ridicolousness of it

>>735680026
greentext?

Love me some non-consent...

>>735680025
>Preparing to spend next 6 months trying to get this thing to turn on. Fuck it, she's gonna sew by blackout cloth I guess it's a fair trade for my mid-thirties.

>I sit down, she disappears, I stare at all the pictures on the wall, and remember how the kids don't visit or bring the grandchildren anymore. Hit the power button on the emachines.

>She comes back around the corner holding a drink and a laptop.

>Here's your Harvey Wallbanger and I can't figure out how to make my grandchild the backdrop on my screen like my friend has on hers

>awwwwshitnigga.jpg

>>735682788
*italics*

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>>735682673
Sign up to POF dating site. Make your age profile 40, but in the text say you're actually 21. Post nice pics of yourself. You'll have middle-aged women sending you their number.

>>735682882
POF?

>>735682910
Plenty of Fish dating website, it's free.

>>735682910

PIF POF PAF PEF POF POF POF POFFF
POF PIF PEF PIF PUF PAF POF POPOFF POPOFFFFFF
PEF POF PEF POF PAFF PAFFFF POF POFFFF
PIF POF PEF PAF PAF PAF POF PIF POFF
POFFFFFFF

>>735682882
THIS. Worked for me, I went through an older woman phase.

>>735682864
Not fake at all. I'm 40 and have been on 4chan since 2006, but never green texted before. Did what anyone would do and googled it. Problem solved.

Go eat your own cum somewhere faggot. (Which I have done btw, just to see what it tasted like, I was 14)

I'm telling my depraved sex stories and don't need you yelling fake like some school girl telling on Johnny in class

Femanon.

Fucked a 19 year old woman when I was 38. Fake tits, but otherwise great body.

Also at 19, dated a 56 year old man. Hands down the absolute best sex I have ever had in my life. Drifted into a relationship, only to discover that great sex does not make a great relationship.

Hooked up with a guy in his early 70s when I was 20, didn't really work for me. Great guy, but far too nice.

Believe it or not, I'm still in touch with the guy 37 years older than me, but we no longer fuck.

Youngest I've gone is 21 when I was 28.

>>735683178
>femanon
You know the drill

>>735682873
Op hurry the fuck up whats going on u left hand typing ?

>>735679105
i fucked a 49 year old when i was 29, that's the furthest out of my age bracket. i fucked more than one of my high school friends moms but that was then. i nailed my friends mom and sister once when i was about 21 , but not at the same time

>>735683567
Seconded

i fucked a 52 year old i met on pof it was a good site for fucking older women i was 35 or 36 at the time, current gf is 48 and im 39 now

>>735683627
oh, and one other thing. why did no one tell me that i'm not allowed to have sex with my friends sisters? i got into more damn trouble like that, but for some reason nobody remembered to fill me in on the fact that i wasn't supposed to do that. whiskey tango foxtrot?

fuck, wife just woke up. Long story short, porn pop up came on her laptop and we started talking about porn and how she never watched it. few hours and drinks later we end up having sex. Not great, not bad just kinda meh for me. But I dicked her like an 18 year old getting his first piece.

Had sex a few other times, out of sympathy.

been fucking my friends mom who is 59, I am 21

I paid for sex with an escort that claimed to be 50 (so probably was more like 55-60) when I was 24. It was gross and she was also pretty fat (at least 200 pounds) so couldn't/wouldn't do any positions besides missionary. Her house also reeked of cigarettes, I had to throw all my clothes immediately in the laundry.

Worst 200 bucks I ever spent. You may be wondering "why", and the answer is because I was drunk and she was the only one on backpage responding to my texts.

>>735679927
do it

>>735684108
$200? Are you stupid?
I only pay around $80.

>>735684108
>200 bucks
>200 pounds
>200 cigs
>60 fucking years old rekt whore

man, I love 4chan.
It always cures my depression with a unstoppable bursts of loud laughters.

>>735684182
200/hour was the standard on backpage in that town at the time. 150/hour was seen occasionally but they raise their rates quick.

I don't do street whores.

>>735682873
Nobody else is upset that op didnt finish his story?? Wtf god dammit this is bullshit

just reminding you all that you will all be 60 years old one day, unless you die before you make it. many of my friends never made it to 50.

i was young once. youth is fleeting. make the best of it while you have it.

>>735679105
42
was 26
instant regret

hooked up with a friends mom, she was 45 at the time, i was 16 , they lived in our apt building, older ladies horny af

>>735682788
holy fuck..

my mom sucked my dick when I was 20. I was a pathetic virgin always crying that I couldn't get any girls and just wanted to know what it was like. It was awkward as hell and we never spoke of it again, and it just made my mental state worse afterward because all I could think about was wanting to fuck my mom.

>>735684245
I used BP and no one actually stays an hour. You just fuck and then leave.

>>735684325
explain youself

>>735684377
>older ladies horny af
especially the ones that are single divorced moms. i know, that's a fucking cliche, but it's still true

>>735679105
I think I'll give my 77 yo great aunt a go. She seems like she needs a dicking. I'm 39

>>735684443
you've got to find the ones that allow "msog". But yeah most are one and done and will kick you out even if you've only been there 10 minutes. I prefer more relaxed GFE style experiences where I don't have to get anxious about wasting my one and only load.

>>735682788
tryforce

>>735684245

basically:
200/hour = 1600/day = 8000/week

50 workweeks/year = $400k/year and no tax.

Man, a fucking vagoo is 0.4 million dollars per year. And this is just "the base standard".

>>735684443
then it's more than 0.4 millions/year for a 60yo wrecked vagoo.

wtf... US standards.

>>735684587
even the best whores don't do that many bookings in a day. It's good pay but very inconsistent unless you live in a very large city. But then there's a lot more competition.

Besides, it's a crime, they wouldn't do it if it didn't pay well.

>>735684448
turned out it was a 55yo tranny sporting a huge black cock

>>735684503
that's true, i know my loser buddy that i rented a room to, he couldn't get laid in a whorehouse, so he had this hooker that came over every two weeks when he got his paycheck. $100/hour but if he came in 10 minutes, that was it, she was out the door. she always tried to get me to go a round with her, i said fuck that, i don't have to pay for pussy. god i hated her, but that's the only ass that poor fucker could get

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>>735684688

>>735684737
>$100/hour but if he came in 10 minutes, that was it, she was out the door

that's $100/dude, not $100/hour.

Then if she gets 20 fucking dudes, it's two grands and no taxes.

>>735684448
she was married, not really into her, was just the heat of the moment

>>735682873
continue man

>>735684679
that's the thing, potential income vs. reall world. i've spent my whole life as a contractor, i could potentially bill $75/hr for 45 hours a week, but i never had that much business. and seriously, that pussy would be wrecked in short order if it was .4 million a year, right?

>>735684737
I used to have a regular girl I saw a lot who was the perfect whore, I eventually wore her down to 80 bucks a visit and she'd hang out for a few hours if she wasn't getting any other calls watching tv/drinking my beer and I'd cum anywhere from 2-4 times.

Eventually she got into heroin though and is now married to a nigger and had two of his kids (I still stalk her facebook occasionally).

>>735684964
Pics of nigger loving heroin addict?

>>735684872
>that's $100/dude, not $100/hour.
but that's the thing, she always claimed "$100/hr"

another reason i hated her bitch ass. i wouldn't have fucked her for free. i just didn't like her and the shit she did to people

>>735684482
she was divorced white mom with 2 kids, decent looking -but guys don't want instant family, so she was in need of some sex, glad to provide!

>>735684872

it's like the All You Can Eat thing, you pay $10 but even if you eat literally anything you can grab, 99% of the time you cost less than $10 of goods.

>>735685057
>Pics of nigger loving heroin addict?
that's exactly what i was thinking. pics pics pics. preferably with a hypo hanging out of her arm or her toe

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>>735685057
her pics are all blurry as fuck, but this is her shortly before going down the heroin/nigger spiral

the funny thing is before heroin she would always complain to me about nigger clients

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> was 21 she was 43
> worked in a fine dining restuarant through uni. head waiter there
> Most of the regulars knew me and i knew a lot about the over the 4 years.
> Jessica is having a brithday dinner with her other middleaged rich pals.
> They stay till close (1am) and are still drinking some of our best wines and whiskeys
> They insist me and the manager join them to finish the booze before they are kicked out
> After drinks there we end back at her town house about 10 mins away
> About 7 people are there
> She links her arm with mine and goes about telling everyone how handsome she thinks i am etc.
> I always flirt with the women that come in because tips and generally good for networking
> Tell her i think shes quite a catch and doesnt look a day over 30. (she really did look good for a 43y.o. Classy woman and in shape)
> She is eating that shit up.
> topping my champagne up and having her arms around me the whole time.
> Fast forward and everyone is leaving one by one. I try to leave a few times (even though i wanted to fuck her it was just weird to be the last one to leave in that situation with all her friends there)
> She keeps telling me to stay a little longer etc etc
> finally everyone leaves and im like guess i should get going, but im giving her the look like 'i can stay if you want'
> shes right up in my face telling me i should stay a little longer.
> Obviously i take my queue and start kissing her and go into autopilot mode.

More?
> pic sort of related
she looked like sienna. Short hair, skinny blonde english woman.
maybe a little less hot face than sienna but not by much.

>>735684129
not much of a story
> meet on craigslist
> drive to his house
> fucking hour drive. why'd i do that. plenty of geezers in my local area looking for a 22 y/o to pound their shit box
> breath smells of smoke
> tongue bumpy with thousands of failed tongue cancers
> fuck his asshole. surprisingly clean
> late so I stay the night
> spends the whole night scratching me with his gross toenails
> next morning says "wow we were up so late ;)" like me trying to sleep while he scratches the shit out of my legs is sexy

Moral: never go too old. Not because they're "gross and wrinkly" but because they're retarded.

>>735685170
>All You Can Eat
that's one phrase i never really wanted to hear or see in the same post with the word whore and/or hooker

>>735684503
We had a local whore in my apt building that was always looking for extra cash, she would blow for 20-30 bucks, fuck for 80, she needed the cash. was a good set up as the end of month drew closer she was much more active

>>735685335
yeah sometimes you'll find some girls who are out of the backpage "world" and aren't aware of what the going rate is. Those are streetwalker prices (although usually you can fuck for more like 50).

>>735685227
Yea keep going bud

Fucked my friends aunt. I was 19 she was 40 something. Not even that hot, nice thicc body though. Was just horny as fuck cos older woman.

>>735685174
i'm hip on the H mudshark, more please

>>735685406
she did fuck for 50 often when she needed to make rent or groceries, wasn't her main job, just something to make ends meet, (moms will do just a bout anything for kids) word of mouth was best advertisement for her so she didn't do backpage or CL

>>735685537

How did it happen?

>>735685171
Good thing I axed for pics. She's hot.

>>735682873
Gunna finish it?

>>735685174
We thank you.

>>735679105
Oldest? 44.
I'm late twenties.
Happened a few months ago.

>>735685406
accidentally got into pimping a girl I was fucking around with. She was curious about 3somes and black guys. I posted an ad on CL and found a couple of guys that would fuck her,. Got a hotel room and she wanted to be blindfolded, naked spread waiting. when they came to the room , they were pleasantly surprised to see her ready and I guess they assumed she was a whore or were paying for the room and handed me $150 and proceeded to bang her for about 4 hours. They seemed to all have hit it off and she was up for another meeting with them and same thing happened. eventually they told some of their other friends about her and the arrangement and she did four other guys at another meeting and few more times with friends of theirs too. -I didn't mention the money ever to her, was rather profitable summer

>>735685716
i'd die a happy man if i could see those pretty little lips wrapped around a fat black cock. i want proof she's a whore

>>735682873
bump

>>735685905
C' mon Anon, doubt he has those types of pics. A few more FB pics wouldn't be so bad though.

>>735685227

> after some heavy petting she takes me and leads me to her bedroom
> her house is fucking classy. bed is tall and huge
> she has one of those dressed that you can untie at the front like those flasher trenchcoats.
> i sit down on the bed and have her stand infront of me as i kiss between her tits and untie the dress.
> shes wearing this nice lacy underwear and her body is surprisingly toned for her age. (ive fucked 20y.o with less definition)
> compliment how sexy and toned she is and that really gets her going.
> starts to show herself off and be like "you think?" "stop it!" etc. etc.
> i get up and start unbuttoning my shirt.
> she jumps right in and starts rubbing my dick through my trousers and kissing my neck.
> im hard AF by now. luckily i had did some manscaping that week so everything was looking pretty neat and tidy.
> i get my shirt off and start to grab her ass and reach around and run my finger from her pussy to her asshole over her lacey underwear.
> shes fucking wet by now and put her hand down my trousers and grabbing my dick.
> everytime i rub her pussy and ass she grips my dick hard and moans into my neck
> I pull back and grab her hair and pull her head back so i can start kissing her neck and shoulders
> this makes her go wild. she kneels down and starts to get my dick out
> The minute my dick pops out she just takes the whole fucking thing down her throat. (i'm not very big so its not a feat, 5.5inches)
> thank god for the booze otherwise i would have bust in like 2 seconds
> She gives head like an absolute champ. hands on my ass/hips and just going for it.
> she looks up at me with watery eyes and that just gets me so fucking hard man.

>>735685962
>A few more FB pics wouldn't be so bad though
yeah, i'll take anything he got. whoo hoo

>>735686015
i hope this doenst end with a dinosaur walk

>>735685232
>his

how gay.

/thread

>>735679373
she fongered you in the back seat of the car, didn't she?

>>735686774
nope, it was the backseat to fongerang fungaroo fongorung

>>735686015
> After some bomb head i have to stop her because i was going to need to cum and i didnt want to risk not getting hard again (usually i can go twice but i had had a quite a lot of booze)
> I pull her up and tell her she needs to stop or i'll cum. that just made her want to go back down.
> shes so fucking sexy right now giving me cheeky grins and licking her lips.
> Im trying to get her off me and shes just fucking churning my dick and giggling.
> I grab both her arms and get a bit rough with her. Pin her arns together behind her and saying shit like you stop when i tell you etc.
> I turn her round and bend her over the bed. Im still holding her hands with one arm. other hand is teasing her pussy from behind.
> shes already trembling every time i run my hand over her
> I slip her underwear to the side and i tease her pussy with my finger. shes so wet i can go knuckle deep in one. so i do ( i didnt know woman this age could get that wet tbh)
> Shes fucking moaning like crazy and i stik another finger and start totally blasting her.
> Her pussy is nice and trimmed to a light bush but her lips and ass are pretty clean shaven. clearly she was fucking tonight.
> Im a bit of a pro at fingering pussy so i have her trembling and knees buckling pretty soon after.
> Shes just screaming into her sheets and trying to stay standing. I let her arms go and pull my fingers out.
> she craws on to the bed a little and i flip her over and get up on too.
> go next to her face so she can get my dick wet so i can fuck her. i say that to her too and shes like 'uhmm', fucking humming on my dick. feels great!7

Currently with 24. Shits cash. I'm the only one she's ever had and she's not fat.

When I was 25 I had a fuck buddy in her early 50's. She started wanting to be more than fuck buddies after a while and I was like "lmao wot? No". She stopped taking to me after that.

>>735685714
>We were at a club, it was his sisters birthday. I just remember getting drunk as fuck and must have been introduced to her.

>Went back for drinks with a few others, she was sitting on me cos no seats.

>Got to admit her ass looked good in a tight dress, she kept moving about rubbing my dick making me hard. She knew was she was doing kept giving cheeky glances.

>People gradually started leaving, one couple went in the kitchen so i ran my hand up her skirt pulled her panties aside and started playing with her.

>she kissed me unbuttoned my trousers and started jerking me off.

>we just went straight to her bedroom and fucked like crazy all night, not even sure where the other guys went.

But yeah was fun.

>>735686774
i used to fonger girls int he back seat of my kharman ghia. naw, that's bullshit. harman ghias din't have much of a back seat. but i did fuck my frineds wife on the trunk of her mustang mpg. i also fucked her out in the woods in a ditch once. she was a fucking whore, serious. i sat in the back seat and reached around and put myu thumb up her ass while he was driving once. then i put my thumb in her mouth and he never knwe a thing.

>>735680025
>Sorry guys wife woke up early had to preform evasive maneuvers.

>>735686955
>I'm the only one she's ever had and she's not fat.
the fact you had to tell us this is all i need to know

>>735679105
>be 25
>working in office
>attorney walks in
>she's older (52, but I didn't realize it at the time), strikingly beautiful, well dressed
>does her business
>keeps staring at me
>gets ready to leave
>"would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"
>obviously been giving off my best butch vibe and she picked up on it
>dinner, drinks, night of sex
>in relationship with her for about a year
>turns into more of a mother/daughter relationship than a lovers relationship so we split

>>735687247
>had to preform evasive maneuvers.
it must suck having a wife you have to hide shit from. hell, my wife has no problem with me jerking off and porn. if it wasn't for that, she'd have to fuck me about 6 times a day. i have a very very high sex drive, and anything to take some of the pressure off her, she's ok with.

>>735683967
Kek same here.

>>735686871
> I get between her legs after she gets some spit on my dick
> Go down on her for a minute or so just to taste it to see if it was different to young pussy lol. (clean pussy tastes the same at all ages)
> I post up between her legs and slip it in a little. I always tease them with the tip for a good bit (mostly because it gives me time to recover)
> After a bit of that i just slam it all the way in when shes not expecting it and she is losing her fucking mind!
> After a few strokes i turned her over and fuck her from behind.
> Im really railing her now and she is squirming like crazy its hard for me to stay in her.
> so i sort of lean forward and grab her hair and push her down for the prone bone.
> The minute i do that she tells me to cum inside her, which is the hottest shit any girl can say to me.
> Naturally this makes me want to bust so bad so im stroking as much as i can and trying to hold it in.
> she keeps saying cum inside me, cum inside me as im fucking her
> so i just go one deep stroke and nut inside her. it felt fucking amazing.
> i can go for a good 2 minute or so after i cum without really any sensation on my dick so im jackhammering her
> she is telling me to fuck her harder and that shes cumming. pushing back into my dick as i fuck.
> She has another pretty shaky orgasm and just lays there. i sort of stroke some more with the tip till i go soft
> I climb off and lay down next to her sweaty AF
> She tells me she hasnt cum twice in ages.
> I say "Happy birthday" and we are both just laughing our ass off for some reason.
> we get cleaned up and i leave after some more small talk and compliments here and there on techniques

She is good friends with my manager, who is a gay dude, so he finds out and so does everyone else. It was a bit of a hedonistic environment, im sure if you've worked in the service industry you know what i mean, so i got some lad points for it and a worthy mention at the next staff briefing a couple days later.

>>735687457
>turns into more of a mother/daughter relationship than a lovers relationship

yeah, i can see where that would get a bit weird

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>>735680025
>Drink is strong, but good. Laptop isn't bad either, one of those overpriced QVC numbers.

>Show her how to change picture, show her some sites she might like and some of the things I'm into. Where she can watch free tv shows and such.
>Bam! pron popup. Fuck. Now she's gonna think I infected her precious computer and it'll take three techs and two geeks to fix it.

>>735686047
This is 4chan what do you expect. I want more junkie monkey fucker pics god damn it.

>>735687831
>it'll take three techs and two geeks to fix it.
took a crane to get it out

>>735682478
[zalgo] meu pau ta duro [/zalgo]

>>735687635
Nigger what are you talking about? I'm OP! I'm sure you want to walk in on your wife posting on 4chan about that time she blew the JV baseball team for a 3 pack of warm PBR.

The fuck outta here

>>735688211
Oh what a bunch of shit. You're both liars.

>>735688075
yeah, i;'m telling you i want to see pics of her swallowing a 12" nigger dick with a fucking hypo hanging out of her ear. i want to hit the piston on that fucking needle and shove it into her descending colon vein

>>735687318
Forgot to say this is the oldest I've ever had. Youngest 16. Had half a dozen partners.

Fattys uggs etc don't count.

The oldest? 76 neighbor of a CL fatty hook-up I had. Best anal I've ever had.

The oldest "regular" I had, the last time I saw her was 69. By far & away the best pussy I've ever had. She, from the very beginning, wanted me to call her mom, and she called me son. We carried on that way for five years.

>>735688313
no, seriously, my wife don't care. she has a VP at a major bank and can't fuck me constantly, so..... we get togethger for the sex on the weekend, when you grow up and become adults that's the way it works. money is king

Every Friday afternoon I go over to my friend's house. He's 90. We sit and have a cup of coffee while his viagra kicks in. Then I kneel in front of him and he face fucks me. He isn't rock hard but hard enough. He cums in my mouth, I swallow, we finish our coffee and I tell him I'll see him next Friday.

>>735688723

>90
>viagra
>not yet died by stroke

sounds like you misspelled "60"

>>735680025
>So now I'm red faced and she's asking if this is normal, but anyone who has been to project free tv will tell you, yes this is normal. I re-assure her and we continue drinking

>Now she tells me that she knew her husband watched porn, and she knew all his hiding spots. I'm like whaaat guys hide their porn stash no way...with a straight face.

>She goes and gets this dusty ass box of VHS tapes. These are the oldschool hard brown plastic shits and there's like 5 tapes and she calls that a "stash"

>She says she was never mad at him for watching them, but that she just didn't understand why men need to watch it when they can just do it for real. Try to explain that even if she were Pamela Anderson, and he had another 6 wives who he was banging e'rrr night he would still watch porn.

>>735688334
This. I oddly want to see this myself.

>>735688936
fuck yah, that's what i'm talkin about. i'd hit that right in the shoulder muscle with that needle and pump that fucking piston down, then i'd break the needle off in her. then i'd shove a litre wine bottle up her ass backwards. then things would get interesting

>be me 26, hanging out with best friend, his mom is there having a few beers probably in her early fifties.
>she was super cool always a bit flirtatious even before she became a widow.
>She has a Twilight book on her counter, casually ask if it was any good.
>she says meh, give it a read after we hangout I take the book home.
>after about a week I drop the book off and tell her it was kind of shitty.
>she laughs and says it probably meant for teen girls. She makes fun of the sex parts in the book.
>topic shifts from shitty vampire books to sex, then to dirty sex and what she likes.
>it gets a bit uncomfortable, the calm before a storm. She says something about her tits.
>I tell her she has great tits and she did, probably 9/10 DD's and still some perk left.
>she says "I do dont I"
>without saying a word I walk over and grab them, we start to kiss.
> she leads me to the bedroom and says "my son can never know" pulls out my dick and drops to her knees.

>Cont?

>>735689181
this sounds like one of my friends moms i fucked, except for the gay ass twilight horshiet

>>735688835
He's not in bad shape. But he's definitely 90.

>>735688723
congrats, bro! you won the Gayest gay of the month award.

also, you're getting paid by him to get both of you to the Hell.

>>735689333
This was when the book had just came out. Nobody knew it was a huge emo gay anne rice wannabe yet.

>>735680025
>So now she asks me what kind of "dirty movies" I like to watch, she wants to see

>Bitch are you sure you're ready for this type of shit in your life.

>Decide to play nice and show her some normal porn

>Onionbooty.com

>5 minutes in and this ladies pussy is dripping moist through her jeans and I can smell it!

this brings a question to mind. does everybody fuck everybody's moms? i thought i was the only one, but shit, it seems like it's pretty common. i used to nail the fuck out of all them, especially the moms of the guys in my band. christ, i never thought about it, i hope nobody was hittin my mom. yuk.

>>735689438
ok, i got ya

>>735689448
>Bitch are you sure you're ready for this type of shit in your life.

pulls out VHS of "8 girls, 17 cups"

yowzaaaaa

>>735683981
Cheers

>>735689474
nope.
"motherfuckers" was invented as the ugliest and most impossible swearword.

and it quickly became a meme.

with the exception of seriously ill women and paid whores/escorts, even the sluttiest women, when their body begins decaying, hate sex, fear sex, even if they generally love talking about sex as if they were the wikipedia of sex.

dudes - especially if virgin - love to tell their wonderful sex stories and often need some seasoning (aka "fetish") to make it sound at least vaguely interesting.

also, the wikipedia teen sex page unironically documents -without any [citation needed]- that 60% of teens are virgins. That is, two out of three don't get any sex action before 20. Two fucking out of three, even if everywhere on the internets (including /b/) is all about sex stories.

>>735680025
>Scene is over, she starts fanning herself sipping on her drink

>My husband never did any of that, that's for sure she tells me.

>I sip my drink and look at her cleavage 'why the fuck are you looking at this old ass ladies cleavage, oh that's right you just watched a fat ass get piped by a half a baseball bat and now your dick is on hard"

>We sit for a few seconds and sip our drinks in silence

>She put her hand on my lap and asked if I wanted another drink. But the way she asked I knew she was horny as fuck now

>I tell her sure but I'll have some vodka this time.

>She goes to the kitchen to make the drink

>>735687783
I believe everything except that you were the head waiter.

>>735689181

>she sucks me for awhile and I push her onto the bed
>I bend her over, pull her panties to the side andvstart eating her from behind
>she is moaning and says "lick my ass" so I oblige.
>she starts bucking her hips into my face while fingering the shit out of her pussy.
>she says she wants to suck me again and I lie on the bed.
>she is taking the whole thing in like a pornstar, im only about 6.5" but really girthy.
>she moves down to my balls, then to my asshole.
>she is tongue punching my fartbox with reckless abandon.
>she climbs on top and starts riding me, grinding her hips into me and moaning.
>she isnt squirting but she was so wet and gushing.
>she says she is coming and im trying my damndest to hold out.
> I bust inside her, itvwas a good size load, as she lifts up jizz is pouring out of her.
>she looks down at her open wet gooey cunt and says "thats fucking hot"
>I say cheesily "yes it fucking is"
>she goes down and starts licking and sucking my cock again.
>after a little bit it starts to perk up, I start fingering her messy hole and rubbing my finger around her asshole.
> she says "I want you to fuck my ass"
>in an instant im full mast again
>she grabs some astroglide and starts lubing her asshole up
>she reaches over and lubes my cock
>she bends over and I ease my way into her backdoor.
>I am pounding her while she starts fingering her puss violently again
>she cums
>I cum inside again
>we laid there and laughed and thats how I had my best friends mon as a fuck buddy for about 5 years.

>>735680025
>She's still in the kitchen clanking around, when I tell myself fuck it, I'm gonna fuck this old lady. I'm too tipsy to drive and to lazy to try and hook something up with someone else later, AND MY DICK IS HARD NOW.

>I walk in the kitchen and grab my drink from her making sure to grab her entire hand at the same time.

>I'm not trying to go to jail for raping an old lady so to test the waters I just pull my drink and her hand slowly but firmly toward me.

>She follows without pulling back.

>I kiss her. Feel around....real teeth....ok cool ifuckwityou.mp4

>We kissed for a bit and then I start leading her to her bedroom while kissing her. She's down.

I'm dying to bang a gilf. There's a young-ish one in the office next to me (late 50's), but i'd happily go for upper 60's.

>>735690442
> asslicking with a MILF
Yeah, right. Older women are prude as fuck even when you manage to fuck them.

>>735690442
>5 years
What happened

>>735690919
Milfs are always dirtier, more experienced and know what they want and like. Your inexperienced sexlife is showing

>>735690919
see this --> >>735691193

>>735690947
My friend and his wife divorced and had a bad custody battle. He eventually moved back in with her with his kid. Made it tough to get time. Plus I was married the whole time as well.

>>735680025
>In the bedroom, clothes come off, lights stay off, because she doesn't like it with the lights on. Light in the hallway is on though so I can see a little bit.

>Everything is a little bit saggy. 40 years ago, she was probably fitting nice into those one pieces down at the lake

>Her skin felt a bit rough and but not too bad, not like alligator skin, just weather worn too many days in the sun rough.

>Pussy was wet and sloppy on the outside. Bush is thick like the outback. I'm not eating that shit (totally ate that shit)

>The sound of her cumming was ridiculously loud. did you just died?

>>735691300
Huh?

>>735690919
I was living in an apartment in a house owned by a late 40's woman. She got it in her divorce.

Started doing odd jobs around the house since she was clueless how to fix things. One thing led to another and we ended up in the bedroom. This woman had years of sexual frustration pent up and she just unleashed it on me. She'd do anything (yeah, including having me rim her and her rim me). Nothing seems out of bounds with her.

>>735687814
Nice! Way better than the lady I met at Joannes

>>735691330
She didn't suck your dick?

>>735691193
>>735691300
>>735691422


I guess it's different in Murrika. Milfs here only want to do it in the missionary position and shaving her pussy and risqué lingerie is seen as "wild". I'm exaggerating and I've known some MILFs that were into anal or strapons but I'm talking about most of them.

>>735687814
That's a pornstar. Ive seen her before. Nice try.

>>735679105
Sisters friend. She was 23 and I was 17 at the time we dated. We're still good friends but we don't fuck anymore

>>735687814
Sweet

>>735689902
well, i'm not that
first fuck was at 15
by 17 i was the high school badass, rock star, etc.
at 21 i was fucking everything coming and going, here's when i was hitting all the moms on the regular, and some of the younger sisters
married at 22, that was a fucking BIG mistake
divorced 10 years later, now i'm independently wealthy, made my money. 2nd wife, this time a good one. my life is so good now i can't even

>>735680025
>Finally time to clock in and lay some pipe.

>glide my dick in and her pussy was on fire!!

>Fuck her in missionary with her legs spread wide for a good 15 minutes. Scared to try anything else, cuz I don't want to break anything.

>Say fuck it and turn her over into doggystyle, cuz what doesn't break you makes you stronger right.

>Deep dick her while she's moaning like a fucking wolverine. shutthefuckup.mov

>>735691683
>nothing on reverse image search

what's her name and where can I see her taking black cock?

>>735691546
Nah, figured she would be to old fashioned for that. Personality wise think Edith Bunker, or Adrian from Rocky. It would have been all teeth and scars man.

>>735691969
>where can I see her swallowing telephone pole size nigger dicks right down to the nuts and eating all the cum like the fucking nasty whore she is?

fixed that for you. and yes, i want to see it as well.

>>735691649
Well im in America and most mature women are 1000% more comfortable with their bodies. They know what they like and dont like. They will tell you upfront "dont even try to put a finger in my ass" or "dont pinch my nipples" etc. On the flipside they will guide you and tell what they want at the moment "pull my hair" or "spank my ass" etc. You must be from prudesville, because anybody with some milf or mature pussy under their belt will tell you about the same thing.

>>735692134
Sexual liberation didn't really come to Poland in the 60s, man.

>>735680025
>Get done fall to the bed. She squirt everywhere which everyone knows is just piss.

>So we're laying in her piss/squirt and I'm thinking...yep you just fucked a lady older than your mom, welcome to degeneracy.

>Then we had sex a few more times after that night.

>She sewed by blackout cloth, and I was able to play Gran Turismo on a 108 inch screen
rollcredits.3gp

>>735692134
once my MILF wife gets a few drinks in her, she likes to tell me to pinch her nipples and i even got her so horny once that when i was sucking her off she grabbed my head and told me to give that pussy, and i quote "a good toungue lashing". i about fell off the bed laughing but i sucked that pussy like a fucking madman her clit never say daylight and she came so fucking hard she drowned my face in pussy juice and i drank it down like fine wine. i got my tongue so far up in her that...well, you get the idea. i love my wife

>>735692253
Most women in their 50's on down have been shaved or trimmed for the last 25 years even.

>>735692541
nah, my girls got a big ol hairy pussy, and i love it

>>735679998
Not raping her.... Come on guy.

>>735692506
Same bro. Im 40 now and my wife is dirtier than ever. After a few cocktails, she rims me, wants to sit on my face, pull her hair etc. Somtimes she hops on the bed on all fours, arches her ass up in the air and says "eat me" its so fucking hot.

>>735692614
Im just generalising, not everyone, but the majority. The best guys dont reallu give a fuck, thats their weird hangup

>>735692614

She's let herself go because she can't be arsed trying. It's only you, and you're not exactly a great catch.

>>735692782

She licks inside your asshole?

Stupid fucking bitch. That's not just dirty, that's unhealthy.

You're a moron.

>>735682478
*italics*

>>735693351
Haha you dumb fucker

Does the POF shit really work? I'm 21 in London and I wanna fuck an older woman so bad

>>735693169
Have fun lovemaking in the missionary position for procreation, you vanilla bible thumper. When you are 88 on your deathbead wondering what a chicks tongue on your asshole is like, feel safe knowing your white robes await you in heaven.

>>735679105
When I was 18 i got my first apartment in a really fucked up part of town. I lived in a building and everyone was on some kind of drugs. I sold weed and pills and occasionally shrooms, I once fucked my 45ish year old neighbor in exchange for some percocet. A few months after that another neighbor probably 35 maybe 40 gave me head one night and I got her fucked up. Happened a few more times after that with the second one. She was kinda hot though

>>735693754
Im not that guy, but I consider myself sexually liberated to some degree... I've had group sex, homosexual oral sex, been with 30+ women not including Japanese blowjob hookers, on the topic of this thread I've even fucked a woman in her late 50s while I was just 24... But I never have had the inclination to bother with buttholes. I don't touch them or finger or fuck them, and I don't want anyone messing with mine either. I don't actually think it's the most uncommon thing.

>>735693754
he's not wrong about it being unhealthy, but fuckit, rite? yolo, and 90% of what we eat/drink/breathe is unhealthy. Why not chow down on a few assholes?

I rimmed a dudes wife in a threesome and picked up a nasty viral flu-like infection that lasted a few days. My wife laughed at the name of the virus (coxsackievirus). I was only laughing inside.

>>735693023
>you're not exactly a great catch
and how exactly do you know this? by your fucking spidey sense? jeeze, some fucking people are just shit aren't you?

>>735693754
Also not that guy and analingus is my thing but that argument can be used for anything.

Don't want to take a shit on a girl? Enjoy ur puritanism.

I love anything anal on a chick but wouldn't want to be touched there. Some people like that. To each his own.

>>735692495
thanks for the story

>>735694773
it was a really good story tbh. today OP was not a fag.

>>735694625
i've licked quite a few girls assholes. but only girls. seriously, to me, woman's bodies are just completely beautiful and eatable. it may sound strange to some, but i have licked my share of girls assholes. i've stuck my tongue up a few. i just like the girl

>>735694371
My point was anybody chastising someone about their sexual proclivities is a fucking weirdo. I dont care that you dont do butt stuff or if you once sucked 6 dirty aids dicks in a row. If that gets you off, then have at it. I dont care, so why do you? Why do I need a lecture if my wife and I toss each others salads from time to time. God this place sucks and is full of fags now.

>>735694924
i've licked my wifes ass, no problem. hell, i'd give my life for her, why not lick her ass?

>>735679105

Oldest I've had was 55 while in my early 30's. A black grandmother CPA that called me her handsome white Jesus before I'd dick her.

Now in late 30's and currently prepping a new future fuck buddy who is 61. A fit little RN bohemian with tats and toe rings who wants dominated, spanked, and hasn't had sex in three years. Wish me luck, b/ros. Will probably hook up in a hotel at the end of the month, when she gets back from a cruise.

>>735694924
what the fuck do you care if some random anonymous asshat lectures you about your dirty sex life? fuck him and anyone else who doesn't like what you like.
No apologies, no excuses, not to anyone, not ever.

A 41 year old. I'm 17

She was my best friends aunt

>>735695066
>and hasn't had sex in three years
go dude, go. ANON ANON ANON ANON!!!!!!

>>735695066
>A black grandmother CPA that called me her handsome white Jesus

this is about monsterous, i thought i had an awesome life until i read this

>>735679105
30 here. Was talking to 25 year old chick who had a kid. All the sudden her 55 year old mom (kids grandma) texts me. Never told her daughter. Got them to send me nudes 5 mins apart while they were in the same house. Only fucked daughter tho

ITT: Things that totally happened

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>>735679105
61 years old. Pic is what she looked like.

My ex girlfriend's mother. Since i'm a caregiver at a nursing home I have plenty of opportunities but none that would justify losing my income.

>>735695066
>handsome white Jesus
ok Seth, you can stop posting now

>>735695249

Thanks! She gets super horny over texting. I got her so bothered at work, she had to take her soaked panties off while on the job and actually begged me to not text her for the rest of her shift, she was so revved up.

Thankfully, she seems the type to be shy in person, and she is really into me. I could be wrong, but I think I have this one in the bag.

And yes, the black granny was 5'1" and always met me at her front door in her thin, short purple nightie. Would swallow my loads like it gave her vodoo powers. I moved away from her, but am hoping to make a visit to her neck of the woods this autumn for another visit. We still keep in infrequent touch over email, but she still seems ready and willing to take me in again.

>>735695400
Not Seth, but you make me wonder if it must be a common cliche for older, churchy black women to love taking cock like sluts. Mine would talk about praying and how important God was, right up until she was kneeling on the floor to give me head. A sexy juxtaposition.

>>735695357
"when she was young, all i wanted to do was eat her pussy. now that she's old, it looks like the pussy wants to eat you".

>>735695357

This is the kind of body where personality and lifestyle would go a long way. If she is something like a bright, witty librarian, schoolteacher, or doctor, I would. If she is just some white trash junkie or chain-smoking Walmart customer service desk attendant, I wouldn't.

>>735696123
It's called roleplay.

Had a 50+ alcoholic g/f I'd fuck very wasted while staying over on alternate weekends. Her son was dealing weed to the 60+ renter in the studio apartment above the garage. We always knew when she was getting some because she'd leave cash in the laundry drawer for him and then it would be gone. Then after my well-fucked milf had passed out that night I'd go enjoy the weed-wacked renter as well. Nice arrangement while it lasted