Okay /b/ Story time >be me 19/yo beta virgin >not really

>>735675294
bump

>>735675294
continue you faggot

>>735675294
speed it up fag

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>arrive to te party with my friend
>as soon as i get there look everywhere for this girl
>can't seem to find her
>chadbros everywhere trying to talk to me and get me to drink their piss beer
>hell might as well blend in while I look for her
>start drinking and chatting with a group of ppl
>talking about sport n shit, i don't even remember
>nobody seems to know about cs
>realise it's the only thing i know something about
>i shut up and pretend I'm listening while looking everywhere
>this fat 3/10 girl start talking directly to me, asking me personnal questions
>ffs leave me alone
>have to listen to her for real
>realise she's been in my class too
>we'll call her piglet

cont ?

>>735675294
>even brought lube
Are you out hunting cougars?

>piglet is actually pretty chill
>we get along pretty good
>she ugly tho
>nothing like my 9/10
>realise she might be onto me
>doesn't mind, feelsgoodman
>we both go to sit on a couch to continue our discussion
>we speak for almost an hour ( even about CS )
>suddenly i realise I'm losing my time talking to piglet while i should be getting freaky with this other hot chick
>try to abort the conversation to get up
>she won't stop speaking
>look everywhere for help
>suddenly I see her
>coming from upstairs
>omfgshesshot
>come towards us immediately
>omfg this is my time to shine

>>735675711
seriously, what 19 year old is going to need to be lubed up... one of the greatest things about banging teenagers is they're like fucking faucets if you aren't a completely incompetent retard

>>735675294
>>735675672
>>735675900
should've pre-typed it sry

>>735675900
and then the hot one set you up with the fat one the wholeeee timeeeee geee didnt see that 1 coming

>>735675900
cont or die faggot

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>she goes to piglet
>oh well they know each other i thought
>"hey piglet ! glad you could came ! I see you and anon are getting along pretty good together", winking at her
>piglet winks back saying that yeah, we do
>wut
>was this a set-up for piglet to fuck me
>shit man what did I expect
>funny thing is I was so hyped about having sex that night that i started to consider it
>felt sad but thought at least I wouldn't have lost my whole night
>look at piglet
>god she ain't pretty
>meh vaginas must feel the same anyway ( was getting pretty drunk )
>night goes on, barely listen to what she says to me
>just thinking about me banging her fat lard
>will i regret it ?
>will everyone make fun of me ?
>do i really give a shit ?
>drunk me sure didn't
>"how about we go upstairs ?"
>realise i said that out loud, she was in a middle of a sentence
>she starts getting all red
>huuh okay

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>>735675999
Im just going to take a few minutes and appreciate your trips nigger

Get to the point faggot, did you fuck her or not?

I hear hamplanets give mean blow jobs. Can anyone confirm this?

>>735676455
best head I've ever gotten was from the skinniest girl I've ever had. she turned out to be literally the worst person alive except for her knob gobbling skill but damn i still kinda miss it sometimes.

The worst head I've ever had was from a landwhale. Never made that mistake again.

>>735676455
It's all calories to them

>>735676210
cont fgt

Come on dude, faster. Its taking 10 minutes between posts, my story withdrawal is acting up.

>>735676210
CONTINUE THE STORY FAGGOT

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

continue

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>we go upstairs
>I almost fell walking up the stairs
>get in a room
>she says "you sure we're allowed to be here ?"
>yeah don't worry i know the house
>i don't
>don't give a shit
>now is dick-wetting time
>start making out
>putting my arms around her
>god she's fat
>everyone's gonna make fun of me
>remember pussy
>continue making out
>start getting her undressed
>i get undressed too
>she looks at my throbbing hard dick
>doesn't comment
>i guess that's good ( i thought ? )
>take of my socks
>remember my feet are strangely shaped ( real long toes, kinda messed up )
>i usually am ashamed about them, never show them
>to drunk to think about it before she sees them
>too late
>first disgust
>then laughter
>"what the fuck" she says dying in laughter
>i try to hide them
>lube falls out of my pocket
>she gets out of the room
>tells her friend
>she apparently told everyone at the party
>everyone has been calling me the lube goblin since then
>it's only been one day
>can't stand it
>everyone knows me as the virgin lube foot goblin who couldn't even score a fucking piglet

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>>735676833
LUBE GOBLIN LMAO

>>735676833
wtf feet aren't that important... she should have kissed them just because you offered to fuck her

>>735676833
pic of your feet please

>>735676455
>>735676577
>>735675900
>>735675711
>>735675588
Might aswell turn this into checkem thread faggot op aint deliviring anymore
Yall just got checked

>>735676833
foot pic ?

>>735676833
A fat girl laughed at you while your dick was hanging out. Sad.

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>>735676833
Orbit achieved
Goddamnit OP you're such a bitch

>>735676833
>Take off my socks
>Topkek

Well look at the bright side op
You were sober enough to cock block yourself from a fatty

I love happy endings

>>735676833
I never thought I'd type these words but...Poast Feet pls

>>735676915
>>735676917
>>735676936
I can post a pick, but they're not even that strange, just looking a little odd

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>>735676833
>lube goblin

>>735677030
>I can post a pick
Do it

>>735677030
feets or gtfo

>>735676833
At least she didn't rape you.

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It's not really that bad is it ?

>>735677022
>poast
...poached eggs and toast?

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>>735676833
>Lube goblin

>>735677165
no they're cute lol

>>735677165
Holy fucking shit

>>735677232
Lost lmao

>>735677165
>735677165 ▶
>File: 19198335_1602211866478211(...).jpg (64 KB, 640x960)
>It's not really that bad is it ?

thats a bit of a deformed looking hand

>>735677165
Hello master yoda!

>>735677165

Holy fuck that is some hob-goblin level shit OP.

>>735677165
holy shit wat's your feet size ?

>>735677300
This is worse than the guy on /pol/ who didn't know how to reply to people. Either way OP is a massive FAG

>>735677294
are you on the right thread

>>735677165
my god they're like people hands.
that dainty pose isn't helping you out

>>735677300
wasted dubs

>>735677357
Pretty big, almost 30cm long
I get my shoes online

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>>735677503
It ain't really a pose actually, they kinda are that way, not 90° after my leg, but kind of in the prolongation of it

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>>735677460
Hell yeee nikka

>>735677165
Kek OP. They arent even that bad. Kek. I knew a tall guy who had toes like that, he would pick up random stuff with his feet and throw it kek oh god it was kinda creepy but a good party trick, i guess

>>735677635
they naturally point down? Consider Ballet

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>>735677635
wat

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>>735677635
>my sides

>>735677682
speaking of tippytoes, how much taller would op be if he stood on his tippytoes?

>>735677668
my toes are smol but i use them to plug things in or grab things from far away lol

OP Consider that fact hat she might not have been laughing at your feet but at your dick.

Or rather the way you were too awkward to man up to fuck her and cared more about your feet than anything else.

Or you should have just kept your socks on and thats that, kiss her while taking off her bra and pants, take out your dick and thats that, didnt have to go full naked.

So she was probably more shocked about that but being teenagers she picked another topic to make fun of you about.

I think that is what might really have happened, psychologically speaking.

>>735677736
B O L E G D E H

>>735677805
who the fuck keeps their socks on for sex

also how big is op's dick

weenie or gtfo

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>>735677635
what the actual fuck

>>735677891
why does he look like robbie rotten and perez hilton had a baby

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>>735677635
this is a good thread

>>735677846
if it's as big as his feet op doesn't have anything to worry about

>>735677635
Is it a diagnosed condition? Like elongated ligaments or something?

>>735678010
if it were as big as his toes that would probably be enough /s

>>735678084
i doubt it's marfan syndrome if the rest of his limbs aren't like that

>>735678099
kek

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Omfg thx fucker XD ROLL LMAO NIGNOG

>>735678239
HAHAHAHHAAHHA YOU SAID XD XD

>>735678239
wat

>>735678316
ECKSDEE

>>735677742
30cm :^)

>>735677846
second this, OP shoz yer cock m8

>>735676969
This is true
Great story bro

>>735678514
Yeah OP show dick or an hero

Embrace it, OP. Change your steam profile name to Lube Goblin.

At least you almost fuck a piglet :^]

>>735678739
if you can find me a good profile pic, sure wth
It's not like i gaf anymore

>>735676833
Damn dude, its payback time. Shouldve told piggy you were about to mercy fuck her. Also, you feet dont look that bad. Best bet is to just show your feet and be like lube? Wtf?

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>>735678847

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>>735678847
:^)

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>>735676833
Pic of piglet and 9/10

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>>735678383
>>735678316

XD XD XD XD XD XD

FB?

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>>735679293

>>735679382
shhhhh...

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Here goes, if anyone still lurking

>>735677165
Someone pls screencap this shit

>>735679841
PERFECT

>>735676455
Best head I've ever gotten was from a short fat girl we all used to call soccer ball. Shit, I'd probably marry that little cock ratchet now.

>>735679987
>soccer ball
im screaming

>>735680193
She came to a party with some fucked up braid shit going on the top of her head that kinda looked like a soccer ball pattern. So it stuck with her through all of high school. Much like goblin will.

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>>735679907
you do it
put me in the screencap btw

>>735677165
Why is everybody freaking our? That is completely normal human foot.. the fuck?

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>>735677165
Not as horrid as mine :(

>>735680966
looks.. normal ?

>>735681013
Is it?

>>735680966
looks pretty hot actually post both and / or cock pls ?

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Does that mean mine are bad ? My wife says i have toe fingers. I pick things up with my feet all the time pretty convenient actually

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>>735679987
I thought you said cock crotch rocket

>>735680966
Trim your nails and clean your feet fag ass nigga making me look at your stank feet fuck where is my life

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>>735675672
>nobody seems to know about cs

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>>735676833
>everyone has been calling me the lube goblin since then
>>735677165
The toes look like fingers.
you should have asked her if you could have toe`ed her.

So let me geuss. you masturbate at least 4 times a week right, you lowtest longfeet anon.

>>735675294
Ein Bier, bitte!

>>735676833
>the virgin lube foot goblin

kek'd

>>735682441
Kek

>>735675294
Wirthaus Gaudi!