How does one change his personality and mindset? Is it possible?

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>>735665485
I went through this phase post highschool until I was 22. If you look up signs of sociopath tendencies, chances are you have a lot, as I did.

How did I change? I lost a girl I was planning to marry because I fucked up and cheated on her (I thought she'd never find out, etc. etc.) I felt myself way too much, thought I could lie my way out of shit, and ending up falling, hard.

Had to dig my life back up at 23 y/o and spent a year and a half absolutely miserable, completely fucked up, lost 45 pounds (was a fit fag, dropped from 190 to 145 in about 3 months) and contemplated death.

Looking back now, I'm 26 and have never been more happy, humble and honest with myself. I love her for ultimately choosing to leave me instead of forgiving me because it's what was needed to change me into who I am today, which in the end, was her final gift. I think a fall like that is necessary. Just my two cents.

>>735665485
Just be better faggot

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I also let emotions affect my decisions...
I am aware of it, but cannot control it
better to say, I havent learned how to control myself


>>735665947


Im glad to hear everything has fallen into place for you anon,
but how do you make peace with your past.
I cannot forgive nor forget.
I suffer the pain of the past every single day..

>>735666019

Im trying bro

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>>735666320
Time. Time can either heal all wounds or destroy you but ultimately I'll never forget it, and that's something that you'll have to deal with as a man, living with choices.

I tell myself because I'll never forget her, I know I truly loved her.

Eventually you move on, find someone else, find something else, distract yourself but typically, something you can't forget is burned into you for a reason. Whether it's beautiful or destructive, it's an instance that will shape who you are hence, why you remember it.

I always ask people: Imagine you're on your death bed and the doctor says you have 6 hours to live. What do you do? Chances are you sit back and try to remember as much as you can. I mean, that's why we do anything, right? I tell them: Time steals everything from us... Our memories are what we have for stealing it all back.

They're important. Use them, don't fight them.

>>735665485
Only stupid people never change. Life is a progression.

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>>735665485
Everyone lies, even to themselves.

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>>735666782
I have changed to the worse version of myself,
I used to be very outgoing and social and always had new phrases/sentences in my vocabulary to use.
Is it possible to find my past self somehow?

Everything collapsed with a sports injury as I remember now,
people lost respect to me when I quit.

Have a new thought. Change your thinking. Change your life.

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>>735667523
You know where it is. You're looking for a rhetorical answer.

>>735667523
It's possible, but will take years and what I always recommend, a change of scenery. You'll need to move, find a new job somewhere, flip the script. Without that, It's highly unlikely.

Suggest moving across the country wherever you live, keeping in contact with people to a minimal (No texting buds everyday), finding a new job and just focusing on rebuilding yourself in the image you want.

Think of yourself as a goldfish, bigger tank, bigger fish. If you feel trapped, go.

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>>735667523
'Thought changing paradigm'
You lost yourself somewhere.
-Doge out

>>735665485
You don't. Genetics are everything.

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>>735667301
The thing is, I barely lie to myself but when it comes to others I tend to lie myself better in their eyes.
Do I care too much what people think of me..?
I know I shouldnt care at all as long as I take care of my apperance and hygiene,
Im a well groomed man

>>735665485
>How does one change his personality and mindset?

Do meth. Lots of meth. Judging from your post you might already be

>>735665485
>How does one change his personality and mindset?
Surround yourself with people who bring out of you the personality and mindset you want. Whatever authority you submit yourself to, you always end up resembling. And everyone has to submit to authority. So choose wisely.

>Is it possible?
Yes, quite possible.

>Some say people never change but I dont believe it.
Everybody changes every moment you are alive. Where your your intentions lie now, your future will follow.

>My main concern in honesty ( I tend to lie alot ).
Everybody needs to find one person they never (and I do mean NEVER) lie to. Someone who knows it ALL, and it;s okay. Otherwise, no matter who you are with or what you do, you will ALWAYS FEEL ALONE because you will not allow your true self to be known by anyone but you. Note that this can also be fertile breeding ground for bad psychology, because only you know the truth, so you can learn to think in a kind of "pics or it didn't happen" kind of way regarding truth, and lose sight of absolute truth, and in that way lose contact with reality.

>Also I have negative expectations to almost everything.
That is why you fail.

Learn to doubt your doubts.

>Has someone gone trough similar phase or has successfully changed his mindset ?
Yes. With me it was near-death experiences, and the presence of God, with others it can be unique to you, as you are. We refer to it as "God's pressure point." Where the pain and loss involved in remaining the same, exceeds that involved in changing.

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>>735667961
So you're an actor.
Sociopath? Doctors will give you pills.

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>>735667695
What are the benefits of keeping in contact with people to minimal?
I changed towns and "lost" a lot of friends due to it.
I mean,
It occured to me that they are not my real friends if they dont keep in contact with me
eventhough I did everything to organize events and mutual well-being beforehand.

I somehow feel jealous when others have a rich social life,
when they sit their face in cellphone most of the time beeping,
It is nothing to be jealous of, but this is another thing I want to change.

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>>735668253
I have never done any drugs besides cannabis.

>>735665947
>I fucked up and cheated on her (
it's not cheating if she leaves first, emotionally. She left first. You should have just walked away, and severed your karmic bond to the outcome of you two moving apart. And she SHOULD have forgiven you if you were soulmates. There;s no excuse for abandoning a soulmate, because you only hurt yourself in the long run. And you set yourself up to be judged and unforgiven, by treating others that way.

>>735666320
>I also let emotions affect my decisions...
>I am aware of it, but cannot control it
yes you can. you choose not to control it, and you reap the consequences of your failure to choose rightly, and instead embrace what feels best to you. keep doing that and you will eventually suffer GREAT loss.

>>735668445
Everything you've described smells of sociopathic tendencies. Keeping contact with people to a minimum is only beneficial if you're trying to change your scenery. These are people that have usually shaped you, even in a minimal fashion, and will remind you of old ways/habits

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>>735668293
>Everybody needs to find one person they never (and I do mean NEVER) lie to. Someone who knows it ALL, and it;s okay.

I lost that person a month ago.
We broke up.
Should I contact her just for talking because there is no better person in the world for listening to me.
Should I ask her if she can be my personal pychologist or something ?

>>735668583
and that's how I go on, day by day. Telling myself if she was my soulmate, we'd still be together and I probably wouldn't have cheated on her to begin with. Doesn't take away the fact that I still love her though, just not my soulmate.

>>735668970
Problem with gals is they can't keep secrets. They always eventually have to talk about everything. Jyst part of their nature. Bet tour ex has already "confided" everything you have told her to either gf's, bew guy ir family members by now. Especially since you broke up. The juicier the stories the sioner they were spilled. Live and learn.

>>735669665
>implying every female is like this
>future homo detected

bait, or grow up kid.

>>735669665
Then I have made a huge mistake.

>>735668970
>I lost that person a month ago.
get them back if you can, or your life will be a living hell without them.

you know once that happens organically, those people aren't meant to be abandoned and replaced right?

>We broke up.
that's a juvenile reason to give up something all people need and most people never find... !?

unbreak-up.

>Should I contact her just for talking because there is no better person in the world for listening to me.
yes. and you should open up to her and listen to her. because if she's the One, you;re not going to be happy giving her any less than all of yourself, and she;s going to tire very quickly if you try, and grow weary of your evasiveness and lack of transparency

>Should I ask her if she can be my personal pychologist or something ?
You should talk to her immediately and let the cards fall where they may. emotional and spiritual/karmic bonds outweigh every other consideration. oh, and here's a protip: it ain't all about you. it;s equally about her happiness as well, so grow up and start being for her what you need her to be for you. who do you think you are? do you think the Universe revolves around you?

>>735669791
Hopefully not

>>735665485
>My main concern in honesty ( I tend to lie alot )
>I have negative expectations to almost everything

>>735666320
>let emotions affect my decisions

>>735667961
>lie to look better in eyes of others
>Im a well groomed man

>>735668445
>"lost" friends
>they're not my real friends
>feel jealous when others have a rich social life

You sound narcissist/borderline personality disorder. Also why no answer in this thread has been good enough for you yet, you're always the endless victim. Poor you.

>>735665485

LSD is a good way to see a different perspective of life, which might be of help to accomplish what you want.

A longer use of central stimulant, such as coke or amfetamine does change you as well.

Drugs are good!!!

>>735670154
>You sound narcissist/borderline personality disorder. Also why no answer in this thread has been good enough for you yet, you're always the endless victim. Poor you.


I always find a good advice and good criticism online that why I do it.
I dont hate you for saying anything to me, this all improves me, thanks.

>>735669781
Women are great lol. But they think, are wired differently. Ya got to remember that. Most are definitely a bit psychopathic by nature.

>>735669901
This girl is not for me for relationship I have to let her go.
But the question is: Can we still meet up being friends or not.

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>>735670395
>this all improves me, thanks

Your acting is getting weaker by the post anon. You can't fool us you narcissistic fuck.

>>735670511
>implying men aren't just as bad

There's good and bad for everyone. Isolating it to all female is just fucking stupid. Implying they all lie/spread rumors or whatever the fuck it was is just highschool edge shit.

>>735669063
>and that's how I go on, day by day. Telling myself if she was my soulmate, we'd still be together and I probably wouldn't have cheated on her to begin with.
no. you are projecting onto her YOUR shittiness. you betrayed your soulmate, she didn't betray you. and you need to make your world revolve around full disclosure and doing everything in your power to make it up to her.

>Doesn't take away the fact that I still love her though, just not my soulmate.
no you don't, you selfish, narcissistic asshole. you mentally and spiritually raped a woman who loved you from her heart for who you were, you self-centered, self-destructive idiot. you cheated on her because YOU are a degenerate, and you can keep on down this delusional path to the point of your own demise if you must, or you can take actions to come clean and fix things. protip: the only reason you DO still care is because she IS your soulmate, and you're doing the spiritual equivalent of watching a baby seal come up to you and look into your eyes for a hug, and then clubbing it to death as it begs for mercy.

if you don't, after all i've written, have any more self-awareness than THAT, then maybe you don't deserve peace, and you deserve to reap whatever karmic burden you've incurred by the pain you sowed.

i suppose your actions in the immediate future will tell you which, eh?

>>735670721
Implying after all I posted on here, I wasn't self-aware about any of that.

Would you rather I just kill myself? Jesus, you sound like her right now, it's scary.

>>735670650
Don't have much long term experience with females now do we?

>>735670721
>>735671128

Also, I have taken actions to come clean and fix things and from time to time, post on here to try and help other anons out who feel the same way. But damn, way to rip into my heart.

>>735670528
>This girl is not for me for relationship I have to let her go.
but she was good enough for you to hook her, fuck her, and dump her, right?

you're a degenerate despoiler of innocent and true Love, and you should be ashamed of what you did.

>But the question is: Can we still meet up being friends or not.
do you really think, after being intimate with you, that any self-respecting person would ever demote themselves to the position of "friend"? god you're dull. and emotionally numb.

the way I read this is that she was your chance to start experiencing honest emotional richness, depth, and happiness, you pissed it away, and now you should consider being the bigger person and moving on with your emotionally numb life while leaving her the opportunity to open up to someone who is truly her emotional equal, and who truly Loves her. because your words and actions tell me you don't give a flying fuck about her or her feelings, you just want to use her because she understands you.

you heartless bastard.

she loves you.

>>735670650
Don't forget that so many females ride a hell of an emotional fluxuating hormonal rollercoaster every month. After menopause they can be much more like guys in the way they think.

>>735671382
she does not love me anon believe me

>>735671511
>a hell of an emotional fluxuating rollercoaster
>never actually being with a girl on her period

Are you fucking 16? Seriously, that's then dumbest shit you can say. Try dating a girl and realizing it's like one day of the month that maybe she's a little emotional, maybe.

Dated many and they never went crazy as fuck like you autists assume. lul, go out there and get a gf kid

>>735671128
>Implying after all I posted on here, I wasn't self-aware about any of that.
then a well-adjusted motherfucker would want to take concrete actions to change that about themselves, wouldn't they? and that might just involve some submission to mutual consideration, and doing shit because you know it's the Right thing to do, not just because "muh feels."

>Would you rather I just kill myself? Jesus, you sound like her right now, it's scary.
No, suicide is the easy way out, anon. The coward's way out. I'd rather you led the examined life, Anon, that involves first and foremost answering the question "where did I not show Love, and how can I correct that in tha future?" and then "how do I undo the damage I did?"

or else you DON'T LOVE HER, so just stay away. because she obviously loves you.

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Hopefully these months ahead will ease myself, got a new job, and just gonna start exercising really soon.
Also got a convention coming up, so that will be a treat.

>>735671128
>Jesus, you sound like her right now, it's scary.
have you considered the possibility that she's right? ask yourself, if you were her, how would you feel if she treated you the way you are treating her? because i've learned the hard way, karma is falling in love with someone you'll never have, because you once denied love you should have shown to someone who truly loved YOU.

>>735671840
>she obviously loves you
Wtf are you talking about. This happened years ago and no, she doesn't love me anymore, believe that.

I have taken concrete actions. Read >>735665947
I use it as a learning point to better myself and it changed my life.

And don't fucking imply that I havn't examined myself you self-centered twat. Read the prior posts or shut the fuck up.

Unless your initials are KLW, you have no idea.

>>735671802
Guess in yoir vast experience you have never won the bat shit crazy loytery then lol.

>>735670341
Which of them has the least side effects?
LSD coke or amfetamine?

>>735665485
So about a year ago I had smoked a huge bong rip of 60x salvia D., I had an absolutely horrific experience. Ego/death, loss of reality, breaking of reality, anxiety, terror ect. Prior to this experience I had smoked weed a lot as well as taken DXM regularly nearly biweekly(at least 700+mg per trip). I loved DXM and it felt like my best friend in the world. I also loved weed, it made me happy, it took away my anxiety, it made everything better. I noticed weeks after undergoing my salvia trip that I would get panic no matter what substance I took. Alcohol sent me into panic, weed, dph, even anxiety meds like valium/ativan. It is now nearly a year later and I can finally get pretty drunk again without feeling panic but I noticed I cant smoke weed anymore. I take literally the tiniest hit possible, a 1/2 second puff, the effects hit hard and fast, vision focusing in, trouble concentrating, overfixation on things like breathing, feeling like I'm inhaling cloth or yarn(an effect experienced on salvia). I just get really scared.

I've actually questioned whether or not I'm taking a big enough hit but I'm far too scared to try and take anything other than my half hits. I hit 2 full hits out of my friends pipe in the forest and got a panic attack looking at the white cloudy sky because it started to look like everything was drawn on paper(derealization and lack of trust of my reality). I find myself scared of dying again, which wasn't a problem before as I meditated on the idea of death coming to a conclusion that made me feel like it was okay. I try to understand what I'm going through but I just don't seem to get it. My fear of death has returned, anything that makes me vibrate or changes the world around me makes me frightened.

I just want to return to normal, how it used to be where I could smoke bong hit after bong hit and be a-okay without a worry in the world. Does anyone have any advice whatsoever into how I can overcome this fear of being high?

>>735665485
Be honest, also with yourself.
Be open, also with yourself.
Be accepting, also... you know the drill.
>>735665947
Well done Anon - that's growing up.

>>735671251
>Also, I have taken actions to come clean and fix things and from time to time,
then why aren't they fixed, anon? because you don't really want them to be.

>post on here to try and help other anons out who feel the same way.
gimmeafuckinbreak.jpg

>But damn, way to rip into my heart.
I'm sorry for being so direct, but you realize that the question of ignoring your soulmate could be potentially harmful to you both, right? like in a lifelong way. do you know what that means? to live your life alone, be unable to love anyone, for ten years? to feel alone all the time because the one human being who was supposed to always love you, always have your back, betrayed you? how do you make that up? you should thinking of ways.

meh, i give up.

If you kill yourself your mind will change.

>>735672360
They are fixed, learn to fucking read

"And from time to time, post on here to try and help anons out who feel the same way"


As for your last part, you're right. I have been thinking of ways.

>>735672248
What makes you panic anon ?
Try smoking before bedtime a few times

>>735671802
Try helping your girl sometime when shes sitting on the toilet freaking out and crying because the string on the bloody tampon came loose and you got to put on your miners hat and dive in after it. Lol fun times.

>>735672643
>when you date 16 year olds

>>735672702
topkek
beat me to it

>>735672620
What makes me panic is that feeling that I got on the salvia. Pulling back from reality and going somewhere else. Feeling my body exist(feeling my legs resting on the floor). I overfixate on my legs being on the floor, what my legs feel like, the feel of the carpet against my feet. I HAVE TO KNOW what every single little sensation is.

>>735665485
Lots of acid

>>735671754
>she does not love me anon believe me
you don't know that. she probably acts like she doesn't love you because you showed her with actions of your own that you don't love her. yin and yang, anon, know why there's a little black dot inside the white swirl and the white dot inside the black swirl? because love is like yin and yang. add betrayal, and all that love, turn to hate. the only thing that can heal the wound is the one who created it.

quite frankly, anon, after betraying your soulmate, the one person in your life that actually loves you more than you love yourself, because you are an extension of them and they ARE you in a sort of way,

to betray that?

you have to be pretty miserable about yourself even to do it. since you're going to be miserable, the least you can do is make her happy, you;re going to be miserable with her or without her. and as you said, she's your soulmate. what is your aversion to being with someone you describe in your own words as your soulmate? do you not see the self-conflict and cognititive dissonance in that?

why are you hurting yourself? that's the question that really needs answering.

stop it. and stop hurting her. dafuqs wrong with you?

>>735672702
Then you find out later they told their gf's about it. Lol

>>735665485
Well, it seems like you honestly want to change, and that means that you can. If you want to replace old, shitty habits with better ones, you have to change your way of thinking, you have to change the way you see yourself and the way you see others. Watch your mind when you react to certain situations, just pay attention, find out why you react that way and figure out what reaction would be better. It really is all about your mindset. Don't expect it to happen overnight, it takes work, but you will be rewarded if you stick to it.

>>735672935
>when your life is a teenage sitcom

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>>735665485
For most of my life I have been trying the hardest to fit in, have friends.
Had a gf, had many hobbies but I was miserable as fuck.
Depressed, borderline schizo, soziopath with wicked anger fits.

About 5 months ago something happened that made me drop off instantly.
And I mean instantly I completely stoped lying to myself.

I hate being around people and that is why I spend all my time alone, as this is what comes very natural to me.
I still have a job which luckily I like very much, and that is really the only point where I have any contact with other people. And that contact is a pretty solid one, these people genuinely love me and I love them. There I am as outgoing and gentle as one could be, but at home I literaly spend all my time behind locked doors and shut curtains playing instruments or computer games.

What I want to say is, that me giving up all these fake attempts to fit in where I could not possibly genuinely fit in made me more happy than anything else ever could, and this inevitably carried over to the rest of my affairs. People are noticably different towards me and the quality of my life improved significantly, even tho most people would still label my situation as miserable.
It isn't to me and that is all that matters.

I changed by stoping all my attempts to change myself.

>>735672248
>Does anyone have any advice whatsoever into how I can overcome this fear of being high?
vape, nigga

and just let it happen. don't fight it.

>>735672702
Naaa I stick to milfs and gilfs these days. Tend to be better fucks anyway.

>>735673126
Yea that's definitely helpful. Thanks blackanon you should have a college degree.

>>735665485

just do it you pussy

>>735673272
>Yea that's definitely helpful. Thanks blackanon you should have a college degree.
i do

>>735672248

stop doing drugs.

>>735665485
Drugs really. If you're an impatient fucker like everyone else and don't have the time or money or even the dignity to see a therapist regularly, perhaps try microdosing with a psychedelic of your choice. For me, it's shrooms because they help me experience emotions more fully, and without them I'm really sort of in this neutral/melancholy state most of the time. Most people go with LSD instead, but I prefer to use shrooms because it is next to impossible to standardize, and having that amount of variability is something that I find very helpful.

Usually a cap every few days before bed does it, sometimes more, sometimes less. Never enough to trip unless I feel I really need to work some shit out. I don't adhere to a strict regimen and use as-needed, and if in doubt, I dose. The only time I would ever stop is if I start going into a depressive spiral, depending on whether or not it seems to be negatively effected by my dosing. There are periods where I will go months without feeling I need to dose, and months where I feel I need to dose as often as every two days. The whole point of this is to dose when I feel I need to, and never to dose excessively.

It's been nearly three years since I first started doing this and so far it's worked out great. I've really gotten my shit together, got my associates in biology and am transferring to uni in the fall. I'm taking a trip to South America for the rest of the summer because I also know it's healthy to push myself beyond my comfort zone, and so this is yet another way I keep myself on my toes.

Your mind is your own worst enemy. Understand how it works and you can get through whatever comes your way. We are chemistry- complex, self-sustaining chemistry, and knowing that is the first step to taking control. Do that in whatever way feels right to you- it doesn't have to be drugs or microdosing, but I hope through my example you can learn something that can help you.

Get better at lying OP. When I'm at my girlfriends house or around her parents, I'm a hardcore Christian conservative. When I'm around my college friends, I'm a super liberal faggot lover.

When I meet new people I try and find out what kind of person they are and what kind of people they like and just become that person. As long as you keep your stories straight it works great.

"Be yourself" isn't good advice if yourself is something unlikeable. "Fake it til you make it" is valid advice for both life and your career.

>>735674112
>implying this isn't actually a severe personality disorder

Seek professional help

>>735674224
it makes social interactions more fun, trying to see what the most extreme character you can pull off is. I'm perfectly happy and don't feel like I need "help".

>>735665485
The more people that you meet while being yourself, the more you find out who you are

>>735665947
Same minus the the shit in the beginning

>>735674437
Nah, that's textbook pathological lying, which is a red flag for Dissociative Identity Disorder, especially in context that you do so to play different "characters". That is not healthy in any way.

Seek professional help

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>>735674224
>>735674749

This will only end badly. How? You'll meet someone you genuinely care for/fall for and end up carrying this lie/character of yours into it, never been truly at peace. She'll catch on and it'll destroy you both.

>>735665485
Find your true Self
Not even memeing. Find the thing you have to do and you will see your life change within weeks or even days

>>735674866
I mean yeah this is a possibility, but generally over time he'll start to lose track of his characters, which will wreak havoc on his life when he can't keep his stories straight anymore, and then it's just a slow decline into schizophrenia.