are there any other mentally ill bros out there that know some

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schizoaffective checking in
I know overwhelming symptoms feels

>>735649447
I have my own demons but they aren't as bad as yours. I hope they don't get that bad. I hope yours get better.

>>735649447
Kill yourself

>>735649590
>>735649621
thanks you guys. even coming from anons it means a lot

>>735649623
trust me man I would have done it years ago but I have this retarded sense of self-preservation that completely prevents me from doing so much as cutting

I've been in a similar place before
its cheesy but you just have to take it a day at a time
and remember that you are never alone

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>>735649590
>>735649621
>>735649875
if you guys wanna talk about your feels I'm totally here to listen too

hey op that sounds rough. sorry you gotta go through that.

just curious, what would be the best situation for you? like, if you could live alone and just work through some stuff (like read/write about any sick shit you want, but not actually kill anybody) would that work? or is it best not to indulge in it at all?

>>735649447
>severe depression (like everyone else here)
>intense narcissism
>frequent violent thoughts, general dissociation from everyone which only feeds into my narcissism
In some ways my ego is what keeps me alive, my desire to be above everyone else and achieve something great to be remembered. sometimes it motivates me to keep going to classes so I can get a degree run a company and make millions; sometimes it urges me to go on a killing spree so that I'll never be forgotten.
I've booked therapy appointments but bailed on each one. My worst fear is dying at my current stage in life because I haven't accomplished much yet, but many days I do feel intense rushes of emotion that convince me I'll never get what I want and I should just die and hope to be re-born as someone with their head screwed on straight

>>735649447
Do you know why you have it OP?
(if you don't mind saying, anyway)

>>735650047
Thanks man. Love you <3.
I fed the wrong wolf, I was weak. I let those demons control me. I hurt a lot of people. I deserve what's coming.

But...I have seen some real, dark beauty in this world.

>>735650480
damn, you remind me of myself; stupid isn't it, when an unhealthy trait is your main motivation?

its my birthday
im alone listening to music thinking about killing myself so theres that

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>>735650265
it's best not to indulge it at all. I have a masochistic gf who is okay with me hurting and even torturing her on a regular basis, but it's not enough man.

I spend a lot of time at cemeteries (during the day) taking pictures. they're pretty empty and no one ever bothers me so it gives me time to be away from people and the intrusive thoughts and just chill in what I feel is the most peaceful environment possible. here's one of my favorite pics I've taken.

>>735650480
my friend I highly recommend therapy when you're willing and eager to give it your all. for most people that's when they're at their worst and desperate for help. a good therapist will save your fucking life, though. I went through, no exaggeration, dozens of doctors and therapists and social workers and psychologists and everything you could think of before I met my current team and holy fuck have they helped me.

in the meantime I hope you can achieve the goals you put forward or at the very least get some enjoyment from day-to-day.

>>735650544
almost entirely genetics, my little brother also had very severe OCD and Tourette's, my father has OCD, my grandmother is bipolar (I also have bipolar type 1), one of my aunts is schizophrenic, and so on.

>>735650581
love you too bro

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>>735651104
happy birthday anon

>>735651104
happy birthday man, it's a shame that shit's not going your way

>>735651184
>>735651249
thank you so much, it really means a lot.

>>735651422
happy to /b/ there for you man

>>735649447
>major depression makes every day feel like worthless shit
>...every day?
>NOPE actually am bipolar and have no idea when I will all the sudden start feeling like shit. It happens at terrible times.
>It sucks cock when I am sitting alone depressed as hell kicking myself for all the dumb shit I end up doing when I am having a manic episode but think I am just in a good mood and having a good day.
>Protip: friends/girlfriends/(people that generally care) do not like being around people who act like this
>Its awesome and I totally don't want to kill myself everyday

>>735651645
I'm cringing really fucking hard at this post
are you diagnosed with bipolar disorder or are you just self-diagnosing

>>735649447
Go to the doc and get on/fix your meds. Alcohol kills. All the pills from the doctor will do is transform your whole fucking world into a better one as long as they're right.

Shizoaffective
15 mg abilify
300 mg lamictal

I lived in hell for 10 plus years. The only regret that I have surrounding the meds is not getting on them sooner.

>>735651513
thank you man

>>735651834
shut the fuck up faggot get out of the thread yes i'm diagnosed
>jesus christ fuck you all

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>>735651880
I'm taking a fuckton of meds
abilify, lithium, wellbutrin and propranolol
can't be fucked to look up my doses but they're all relatively high (except for the abilify, I talked with my psychiatrist recently about reducing it so I don't piss constantly and so far it has helped a little without any extreme mental side effects)

lithium saved my life. before my manic episodes were getting me in trouble with the law, completely ruined my finances, lost me jobs, alienated me from my family and ruined every relationship I'd ever been in. now it's almost the complete opposite. it's a long road though, man. I've got more going on than what can be medicated, the therapy takes time to work and when you're suffering it's hard to not turn to other substances to fill in the gaps.

>>735650480
>narcissim
>depression
>dissociation from everyone
lets be real man, youre not narcissistic in any way and you know youre a failure, youre just a frustrated loser who wont accomplish shit and is too lazy and dumb so he thinks a degree will make him millions

>>735651834
Kill yourself

>>735651645
OP here
could you describe your manic episodes a little bit?
I always feel like a freak for how bad mine were and it helps to hear about other people's experiences

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>>735652666
these trips cannot go unchecked before the thread 404s

>>735649447
>itt: loser faggots who should an hero and make the world a much better place

>>735652666
>>735653111
>CHECKED
oh lawd

>>735653222
Double check

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>>735653177

>>735652666
>>735653111
>>735653222
IT JUST KEEPS HAPPENING

>>735652412
>>735652412
>thinking greentext
>will prove your point
you're a dumbass if you think narcissists can't acknowledge their own depression and separational issues. honestly sounds like you're just venting out your own lack of ambition. you don't know anything about me or my personal goals, nevermind the fact that I need a degree to pursue the career I want. "lazy and dumb" are literally the opposite of what I am. there's a reason every CEO is a self-fulfilled egotistic narcissist. just cause you can't think big doesn't mean I have to settle

>>735652666
one time I booked a hotel room for myself to "relax a bit" was having a good time watching tv but then proceeded to do a heroic dose of benzos and drink a handle of vodka, then continued on to steal a bunch of lumber (dont ask) then decided it would be a good idea to see how fast I could get my car to go on a back road (twisties not straight). As you can tell this was a very good idea. I mayyyybe should have thought since I was cold turkey off medication I might have a seizure at the wheel (hindsight is 20/20) needless to say, ruined the car I had saved for for years along with everything else I fucked up.
>I had decided I didn't really feel like I needed my medication anymore
>was wrong

>>735654950
sorry details suck, I had a concussion and have a hard time remembering any of it

>>735654950
>>735655075
sounds about right famlama
I got in so many fucking accidents while manic it was retarded, ruined my driving record
fortunately never drove while drinking or doing drugs but I was so high off of my own fumes it really didn't make a difference

>>735649447
dude when I get in these moods I just put a ziplock bag between my couch cushions and fuck it

>>735649447
Yes, I have the same shit. Intrusive thoughts of violent paedophilia and child torture etc. OCD is what decides the direction of any given day iI have. But it's not so bad as it used to be, I have control over them now and people think I just have a dark sense of humor now

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>>735655799
dude I've tried everything from sex dolls to pillows to roleplaying and there is no real substitute

>>735649447
DERF!

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>>735656144
do you mind if I ask what helped? how old you are? if you've ever given into it? it feels so lonely to have these feels and hearing someone else knows these feels helps so much

>>735656285
fuck yes. so underrated

>>735655595
The feels man. Same here. I wish I could have like an alternate record or something because I am honestly a good driver when I'm in a stable mind state. Glad to hear you never dui, it feels so fucking bad when you come to. I have a very bad track record with doing drugs when I'm in any sort of mania. I generally don't do any otherwise, I do drink lightly when I'm really depressed though.

>>735656583
I've been drinking heavily for a long time but my father was an alcoholic and drove drunk all the time so it's been drilled into my skull not to ever make the same mistake.

are you taking lithium now or something else to balance you out?

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>>735649447
schizophrenic here

I remember when I thought my medicine helped me get passed it, but then breaking down into psychosis again

It is really traumatizing to think back when I had so many sounds going through my head at once, so many thoughts and delusions. I remember lying on the couch crying screaming "stop" and "this isn't real" over and over, while a voice even taunted me by saying "yes it is, this is real."

there's not really much keeping me going right now, I don't have motivation to go anywhere or trust anyone.

All I can say is don't let it win anon, stay strong.

I have ptsd and schizophrenia so I get really Fucked up intrusive thoughts too, idk what meds to take for that apparently they make it worse then better

>>735657174
I take Latuda(expensive as hell though, blue cross won't cover it so I don't know how much longer I can take it) and another mood stabilizer. I feel little to no emotion, but at least I'm not in psychosis all the time.

>>735656837
I'm currently taking lamictal, I guess it balances me out but it does a shit job I think. Currently looking for a different doctor that can maybe help more, mine kinda just acts like I'm a quack because all of his ssri's are shit and havent worked well at all and he thinks they are god

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>>735649447
I'm sorry you have to deal with so much, you sound a lot like a friend of mine except for the necrophilia (that I know of anyhow)
I try to help him feel better whenever he starts going manic. All I can say is I wish you the best in life bro. Take care of yourself the best you can.

>>735656853
damn anon I don't know the feels but that sounds worse than hell man. I have mad respect for you still going I probably couldn't if it were me.

I'm always reminded of the saying "If you are ever feeling lonely, look at the moon, someone out there is looking at it with you." when I see these threads.

You guys are my moon. Thank you for being there. For this /b/ro and others like me.

>>735657539
>(that I know of anyhow)
lmfao
OP probably threw that in there just to bait ppl or throw off the scent of who he rlly is

OP, I'm the big four.

OCD
Anxiety
Depression
ADD

I take meds. Prozac 20 mg and I meditate. It's worked wonders for me.

My intrusive thoughts are self harm or punching people in the face during a conversation.

>>735657727
thanks man, it actually means a lot

you'd be surprised how many people think schizophrenia isn't a big deal, and its like ADD or something, just take medicine and get on with your life.

It's really hard to find people who care or understand, so thanks.

>>735657539
not OP but the world needs more people like you anon. last summer I went through a damaging manic depressive episode after holing myself in my apartment for 7 days and when I tried to reach out to a close friend he made me feel like a joke and even more of an isolated maniac.

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Get a cat OP, they are the best medicine belive me. We feel you...
Happy birthday :)

I'm going to bed /b/ but I hope the thread stays up for awhile longer. Thanks so much for being so fucking awesome. Even when I feel like I'm at my lowest and don't have anyone to turn to for support, my /b/ros are always here

keep being awesome dudes, I feel a lot better. good night

>bpd, social anxiety, depression
>constantly in a hurricane of emotions, when I'm not feeling incredibly angry, happy, or sad at the drop of a pin, I'm completely detached from myself and everything around me
>can't seek help from friends or family because of social anxiety
>dealt with everything alone all my life
>emotionally abusive parents caused all of it and now say "we just want to help"
>constant distrust in everyone, especially adult men
>tried to kill myself 3 time when I was a kid but I just gave up
Sorry for dumping my sob story it feels good to let it out,
I'm sorry you're going through that op, something I do is tell myself one more day, helps me get through. If you don't want to try sappy shit drugs work too.

>>735657539
(not op either)
>>735658146
is so right, you sound like a pretty fucking awesome dude. If I had any friends that would accept me like that I probably wouldn't want to kill myself half as much.

>>735658620
Good night man. Thanks for talking.

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>>735658146
I'm very sorry to hear you went through such a traumatic experience last summer. A lot of my family suffers from depression, so I have learned ways to try and console them as best I can, so they know they're not alone. That's the worst feeling in the world. And honestly, they don't sound like they were very good of a friend to you if they made you feel that way in your time of need. You'll never be alone on here, though, friend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iWrIfEgFlQ

>>735649447
Hope you feel better soon anon

>>735658669
fuck man you hit me right in the feels. hard... I really hope you can find something to help. You deserve better than the shit hand you were dealt.

>>735649447
/b/ipolar and /a/lcoholic reporting in.

You are not alone, op.
You are not the only one.

>>735658694
Thanks, I appreciate the kind words. I know it doesn't probably mean the same as we're anonymous, but I will always accept you for who you are, brother.

>>735659384
Thanks man, it's nice to hear encouraging stuff like that, I've slowly been opening up and seeing a therapist but it's hard to do. Thanks for the encouragement

>>735659611
Because we are anonymous, we can speak honestly. We can talk about shit we can't mention any other place in our lives.

Endogenous depression fag here, if it wasn't for the pills i take my life would be only sobing, but lately my life ave gone to a shithole because of my ''lovely'' gf being a suicidal and egoist bitch (attention whore), i'm seing a therapist right now but the urges to just leave or kill myself are really big

>>735660632
Do you think you should break up with her?

>>735660761
if i break up with her she would kill herself, i have stopped her for doing it 4 times in these 2 months only, I don't feel comfortable with the thought of letting someone die

I'm sorry to ask the people of this thread but this seems like the best place to do it. I fear that i am in the early stages of Bipolar disorder or for all i know could of had it longer than i thought. I have very noticeable "maniac" episodes if you will call it since i am not sure yet where i will go out of my way and do more drugs than normal because i just "feel" like it. This normally consist of LSD, DMT, weed. Friends also tell me i am a lot more out going and erratic in my actions and that i need to slow down and stop trying to do a thousand things at once. Normally after these burst of motivation and actions i start to question everything including my existence, why i'm here, and are all the people in my life really there for me. This causes me to draw myself in and even drink more than normal making me fell even more like shit. Should i get help /b?

I have pretty bad OCD too, and for almost the entirety of 2016 I went through severe episodes at times, mostly fixated on how the only friend I have left would leave me, how my family hated me and wanted to disown me. But the thing that helped me get through was to remind myself that there is always a next day, one where I can do better. And even if I did go through some rough patches, I promised myself I wouldn't give up, wouldn't let myself bow down to my intrusive thoughts. Sounds gay as all fuck but hey, now I'm feeling quite better, and even if it doesn't happen in a month or a decade, remember that there is always a next day. Give yourself that next day.

>>735652533
>>735652666
>>735653111
>>735653177
>>735653222
toasting in E P I C get thread

fuck your gay shit OP this is a get thread

>>735661183
Yes.
I suggest you see a doctor.

>>735661412
>implying you can't get dubs or trips like aids in a gay club in any other thread

*h u g*

>>735649447
Gayest shit i ever read. Do the world a favor and an hero beta male