When i was a horny teen I thought that bdsm stood for big dick

i thought i was gonna get laid

>>735603253
Kek

Well I wasnt a teen, but i used to be convinced that butt sex was where you just rub butts together

>>735603253
Kek

I thought this site was pretty neat.

>>735603184
bdsm doesnt stand for big dick small mouth???

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>>735603365

>>735603184

I thought it was ok to touch other boys dicks.

>>735603432
I know right!!? I was like wtf where are all the small mouths

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When I was 14 I thought jerking off was bad and tried to stop but failed
19 now still can't stop 1-3 jerkoffs per day

>>735603325
lol
I used to think "fistfucking" was just fucking your fist, i.e. masturbating.

>>735603485
Jesse ?

When I was younger I got bondage and bail bonds confused. I knew bondage was some sex thing, but I thought it had something to do with getting out of jail.

Not as a teen, but... between the ages of 7-10 I was convinced that gay sex involved one man putting his foreskin over another man's dick.

>>735603325
I got ya bro. Yours is the cutfag version.

>>735603538
You're technically right

When people said "tit wank", I thought this involved masturbating a woman's tits with your hands.

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>>735603184
I used to think Joe Pesci's character in "Home Alone" was the son of the old man next door to Kevin who saves him.

Don't ask me why.

her name ?

>>735603568

unfortunatly not.

>>735603184
Asian was pronounced "Ass-Sigh-Anne"

>>735603915
Was it maybe because they're seen lurking around the neighborhood ? That was my favorite movie as a child. And even now my Christmas isn't complete without home alone.

I thought "furry" was just a art style and that the full fur suit thing was a media misunderstanding.

>>735603184
i thought BBW was big booty whooty

i don't know why

That the female orgasm wasn't a myth

>>735604111
Kek. Fuck it man. Now it is. I love me some big booty whooty

>>735604079
Nah, old man mentions something about his son and when pesci is getting arrested I thought he looked at the old man like, 'fuck Im sorry dad'

>>735604000
>>735604111
>>735604099
>>735603522
>>735603477
checked

When i was younger I thought that the vagina extended all the way to the top of your ass crack and that it was just a big hole

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>>735604297
>dat pacman

>>735604297
Lol I thought baby's came out off asshole's

>>735604232
Im gonna have to re watch. Cause doesn't he tell him tjat his kids don't talk to him anymore? What if joe was going back to rob his dad because he hates him

Not me, but when I was like 10 or something I convinced this fag kid at school that oral sex was talking dirty.

Ended up working with him later on. He grew up to be an even bigger wanker. We all ripped him for being a virgin and he was like "Fuck you! I'm too mature for sex!".

Still laugh about it now nearly 8 years on. Fucking fat ginger faggot.

>>735604423
Yeah, I dont know what it was. Sounds familiar though.

>>735604111
oh shit i hit trips and didn't even realize it kek

>>735603538
wow that just blew my mind

>>735604446
Kek. Kids are brutal. We once convinced this kid that manly men piss at the urinal with their pants all the way down. And we just laughed at him .

>>735603184
sauce pls

>>735604626
Kek

>>735604672
Wish i had sauce. That bitch knows how so succ

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>>735603538
>be you
>10/10 hottie down to fuck
>anon, would you fist fuck me?
>ITSATRAP
>knock the bitch out
>hows that for a fist fuck you fucking faggot
>yfw

>>735603568
James!

>>735604099
i still wanna believe that :I

>>735603184
When I was a child I thought that grown ups are allowed to play with my ass. My mother used to wipe me up afeter shitting. Thought it was a deeper cleeaning

I remember as a kid trying to work out what exactly what a blow job entailed. I knew it was sucking dick, but didn't understand why it would be called a "blow" job if you were sucking, so where did the "blow" part come in? I remember thinking the girl must have tried to make a kind of air cushion on the dick, but couldn't work out the physics.

Also had one of those asshole friends that would turn everything into a retarded joke. So if I would say "blow someone up" he would so "SO you blew them up THE BUTT". He was like 3 years older then me so I thought he knew something about blowjobs I didn't that made that line make some sense. Turns out he was just an asshole.

I thought guys got periods too

>>735604748
Team rocket blast off at the speed of light

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>>735604888
checked

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>>735604781
>asshole friends that would turn everything into a retarded joke
>somehow isn't best friend
>/b/

My friend told me to pull back my foreskin or else when i got older my foreskin would mold on to my dick and I couldn't have sex.

>>735604951
Oh I never said that. He was and still is my best friend.

Used to think that ALL yanks where born cut.

>all Jews in the end

>>735605017
/b/

>>735605017
He's actually not wrong. It can fuse to the head or you can end up with phimosis if you don't pull it back.

I use to think Traps were women that happened to get dick surgery

>>735605132
I was worried that i was too late cause it would hurt when I'd pull my skin over my dick head. I was a dumb teen

>>735605132
>jew detected

When I'd see a special needs person I always thought that they got too drunk thay theu got stuck that way forever

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>>735605339

thought that hors d'oeuvres (the little finger foods you eat before a meal) was pronounced "whores de-voors" not "or derves"

thought it was gay to watch any porn with dicks in it (i.e. only watched lesbian porn because i thought porn with dicks in it was gay)

tons more stuff i'm probably forgetting but alas my retardation didn't stop when i stopped being a teen

I used to always call my cousin Dylan "dildo" because I thought it sounded funny. His mom would always tell me off for it but I didn't know what it meant so I kept doing it.

At 10 I thought women also had penises.

At 12, even though I had been masturbating for about 3 years, a friend told me I could stroke my cock to masturbate.

He also suggested using Ben-Gay as lube.

>>735605339
That's some funny shit right there

>>735605706
Damn. Your friend is an was. Did u use the bengay?

>>735605896
Is an ass. Damn this auto correct

>>735605318
How does having a foreskin make me a Jew??

My cousin convinced me that the devil lives on the moon and if i stared at the moon he'd come get me.

>>735605017
Actually, mothers are told by pediatricians to pull the foreskin back and forth when washing the toddler to prevent phimosis.

>>735603184
i used to think "exit only" signs on the interstate meant there wasnt a way to get back on.

>>735603184
Yea...

>>735605542
>hors d'oeuvres
Funny because in France everyone can pronounce it but few of us can actually spell it, so congrats.

>I thought having another person to share my life with would make me happy
>I thought i could be happy
Haha

I thought that on your birthday everyone was obligated to give me gifts so I'd go around telling strangers that it was my bday.

I thought cum was piss so I pissed my pants a few times before I actually tried to jack off and then I thought the cum came from a different hole under the head

id started masturbating before i could ejaculate semen, or if i did, i dont remember. there was no clean up, shit was so cash. i remember the first time i came, i thought it was piss, and thinking it was all slippery, piss would be good to jack off with.

tldr i learned the next time that piss is not slippery and not ok to jack off with.

>>735607472
holy shit, >>735607472 here. 72 > 27 jacking off with piss. are you bizarro me..?

>>735603691
kek

>>735603601
That called docking.

>>735604111
trips is truth.

I was tricked into having sex with an older girl when I was 13 and she was 17. She lured me to her place and even as we got in bed together with just our underwear I was like why tf we going to sleep at 3 in the afternoon. She was very patient in teaching me lol.

>>735603325
>>735603601
>gay sex
>butt sex
I guess you are either pretty young or grew up in a big city. I'm 33 and I didn't even learn about or understand homosexuality before late into my puberty. LGBT sure did fuck with young people's heads.

>>735604672
>>735604729
https://www.manyvids.com/Video/113286/Short-BJ-Before-the-Party/

When i was a kid. I used to think black and white t.v shows were like that because the whole world was black and white in real life.

>>735604626
I convinced the biggest loser at our school that the most popular girl was into him, but needed to know if he had the dance moves to be her man.

In the lunch line, he walks up to her and says, "You wanna see my dance moves, baby?" And without her being able to respond, he breaks into doing the Roger rabbit and churning the butter in-between RR dance moves. Many lulz were had.

Yes, I was that fucker Chad at my school.

>>735607783
Did she make you lick her asshole?
My cousin did this to me. She got on her knees and bent her ass in my face. I was like 5 she was probably 6

>>735607938
Kek. That's too funny. I remember we would make this special ed kid do the wazzuuuup with the tongue sticking out. He was a friend but he would do anything anyone would ask him. He was scary strong tho, I remember we had to do hearing tests and he freaked out and fucking flipped a table.that was in 5th grade

>>735605318
>not realizing circumcision came from the jews
u wat m8?

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>>735608175
>mfw I saw a tard flip a chair over with metal legs and literally pretzel the legs
>imagined him getting angry during a fap session

>>735607923
I did too. I hated watching I love lucy because of this. I always thought they lived in a sad world because it was b&w

>>735607945
Naw she hated oral. Hardly even kissed me. But she got me hard by showing off her body, when I was good and ready she started riding me like it was the last day on earth lol she made me visit her till she turned 18. Wish I remember her name. Lol

>>735608343
Probably rip a dick off. Lol

>>735608367
>>735607923

>being this fucking stupid no matter how young

Jesus, what did you fucking retards think when you first saw 'The Wizard of Oz'? Probably got your first boner.

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>>735603184
I still swear that one day when I was young, the whole world decided to switch left and right around, and I didn't get the memo until I embarrassed myself getting it wrong in front of the class.

>>735607921
You are my hero

when i was a teen idk

when i was a kid like 7 or 8 i was attracted to grannys (70yo or so)

>>735608468
Lucky Bastard.when I first started getting boners I'd rub my dick on almost anything.it felt so good.

>>735603184
Source?

>>735608532
>>735607921
xvideos.com/video26737875/ashley_alban_short_blowjob_before_party
the actual video and not the 8 seconds with mlp dick

>>735608501
I've never seen the wizard of oz.

I thought that piss came from your balls

>>735608367
My brother is Satan. He said it was only recently due to dropping atom bombs that humans see color.

>>735608703
Kek, my friend told me that if I had to piss real bad that I should punch myself in the balls. I did it and it worked

I thought life would get better

>>735608703
wait, it doesnt? Wtf lul

>>735608936
You got castrated for no reason

>>735603184
kek'd

Damn dare program lied to me. I have yet to be offered free drugs

Cuando era adolecentes, todo me dolía, por que era A dole' hahahaha a dole' osea como a doler hahahaha bueno ya, no es gracioso

Found the vid on porn hub
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph57ce781ddd4a7

>>735609287
Thank you kind sir

>>735608594
Lol yeah she was all, hey everyone does this. Your friends are gonna think your gay if you don't. Then I was like, wats gay mean? Keep in mind I was totally isolated as a child. Only ever really talked to my siblings lol. Missed years of school too. I also didn't know I was dating a grill for like 4 years lol. I just thought she was my friendo. Then she was like I'm moving to NYC so I'm breaking up with u. I was like uhhh ok. She still keks at my expense :/

>>735609287
Sorry, maybe I should have linked to the OP for more exposition : >>735608658

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>>735603184
>duck tape
>actually is duct tape
mfw

>>735609095
Incidentally a girl from dare was the first person to offer me drugs lol.

>>735604744
Kek'd

I was homeschooled and never left my property till I was about 17. I did not know what masturbation or sex was until I was 20. When I got my first lay I literally just rubbed my penis on her belly for 20 minutes while it was still soft because I thought that was what sex was.

>>735609745
Ouch. This is why they say man is a social animal.

>>735609745
She let you do that for 20 minutes without asking wtf you were doing?

>>735609849
Kek

>>735609602
Dude that's funny. Fucking dare doesn't work.

>>735609510
I thought this too. Never understood what the duck was about until someone told me that it's duct.

>>735609414
You still talk to her?

>>735609745
>2 minutes go by
>anon plz stop
>wait i'm not done yet
>anon plz
>plz
>plz stop
>wait wait
>18 minutes later
>plz anon no
>plz
>cum buckets
>tell friends you lasted 20 minutes your first time

>>735610429
>dude was she wet?
>should I have brought a super soaker?

>>735610297
The friendo yes the rapist no unfortunately. Friendo loves picking on me. We held hands kissed went to the movies. I have no fucking clue how I didn't see we were dating :/ as for rapist grill she has a husband and kids now and she doesn't want to talk to me lol.

>>735610619
Lol I'm confus where did the second person come from. I thought both stories were about the rapist grill

>>735609745
This hurts to read yet I can't look away. Y she no stahp u?

>>735610855
She probably really liked him so she didn't want to embarrass him.

>>735603184
I thought traps weren't gay

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>>735603184
>be me
>be four or five years old
>ask dad why the earth spins the way it does
>dad tells the earth revolves around the sun because eskimos have a steering wheel on the north pole to keep the earth in orbit
>spread my newly found wisdom on the school playground
>tfw your dad is a genius asshole

>>735610824
Rape bro only lasted a year. Another predatory grill came around the next year and she 'dated' me from then on. Hell u think your confused? Imagine how I felt going through it lol

>>735603184
when I was 11 I thought that a "cameltoe" was something to do with a woman being fisted by a camel

I used to think that one day I'd figure out my dreams and aspirations. 25 and still not sure wtf to do with my life.

I thought bukkake was pronounced "Buck-cake"

>>735611094
Oh ok. Thanks for clarifying. Fuck man I wish i had something like that growing up. I was so desperate that id like any girl that talked to me. Never had courage to tell them. It was always my sisters friends too.

>>735610991
I got beat up for saying girls had Benises too cuz my dad had a shitload of trap porn lol

>>735611317
Kek

>>735611228
Im 26 and I still not sure either. But im starting to learn html and css. Im doing this for fun. What are you into?

>>735611459
traps mostly

>>735611276
Going through this makes me believe in the psychology thing were predators know who to choose from cuz its also how I met grill #3 aka my wife lol. Life is weird sometimes :/

I always had friends that stood up for me. It was neat but then I learned not to defend myself. I look like a mean guy but deep down im a big pussy.

That Dr.Loomis from Halloween and Ben Kenobi were the same person

>>735610932
This.
She was a good friend of mine and always said I was her boyfriend
Basically the next day she tells me she is be the one doing the work.
She blew me, I came for the first time in 5 minutes. I was super freaked out but she said it was fine. Then she put a condom on me and made me fuck her for the next 10 minutes after I had already jizzed in her mouth.

god do i miss her

>>735611547
Produce trap porn! Can i be the clean up crew?

When I was a kid, I was told that banana makes your teeth whiter so I assumed that every black people ate bananas since their teeth are really bright.

>>735603184
I thought your mom wouldn't be a whore

>>735611576
Dude that shit is true. But it's good that something came from it. And yeah life is weird. Which is why i cling on to /b/ because some real shirt does come up on here.

>>735611771
You were right.

>>735611641
Fuck . I would have married her. Why did u break up?

>>735611459
I've done a bit of html and css too. Also quite a bit of other programming experience. I also like making music.

>>735611946
I didn't have a cell phone so I had to use my moms in order to call her. Well she ended up calling my moms phone one night and my mom asked who it was and said I was her boyfriend. Then my mom got all pissed off and forbid me from seeing her ever again. When I finally moved out and got a phone I didn't know her number and never saw her again.

>>735611641
Well I'm glad u gave it another shot anon. Not all bois are so lucky.

>>735612052
Nice. When i first started learning it was really exciting. Like putting a puzzle together. Yeah im into music too. Im still learning but it's fun just jamming out and not really trying to put anything together

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>>735612134
bbbrrrruuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh

>>735612134
Dude that sucks. I hope that one day you'll find each other again. You ddont know where she lives?

>>735604672
>>735608633
ph57ce781ddd4a7

>>735603184
White people were honest.

>>735612381
I knew the general location because she drove me to her house like 10 times but other than that I am clueless, and I moved to a different state the next year. That was 4 years ago. I have a fiance now and I'm sure my first lover has a boyfriend by now because she was actually pretty good looking.

>>735612650
Well shit as long as you're happy now that's all that matters.

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I thought Darth Vader was a robot and argued this passionately.

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>>735612134
Probably fake and gay

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>>735603184
My brother told me that if you pulled a dick hard enough, wings would pop out of us and we could fly. He told me he wanted his wings so I pulled his dick for like 10 minutes.

Then I ran around the school pulling random kids dicks for minutes telling them they'd get wings like I was a fucking red bull commercial.

Later that day I was fired.

>>735604423

>>735612764
Isn't he like half robot? Idk never really watched star wars.

>>735612843
0/10 b8 m8

>>735612954
Get outta here trole

>>735603184
I think this chick is unattractive but her enthusiasm makes me diamonds

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>>735603601
That's not it?

>>735603184
When I was young, I thought eating pussy meant you licked the lips and inside it.

Also, an elementary school buddy told me the slit was behind the pubes and I believed it for a while

>>735605896
yes I did. not a pleasant experience.

>>735613586
Rubbed icy hot on muh dick cuz heard its painful. Feels ok at first but like 10 seconds in it felt like my dick caught fire and burned off lol. Trying not to be a casual I kept going till I came and fucking rinsed it and washed it for like 40 minutes. Kinda wanna do it again.

>>735606787
Thats true for some of them

Not me (I swear) but one of the kids in my group, all 10-12 year olds, thought the "miracle of birth" was that the baby comes out of the mother's stomach without making a hole. It just appeared outside the mother.

When we explained it comes out of her vagina the kid wouldn't believe us.

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>>735607923
>>735608367
>>735608501
see attatched picture

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>>735614454
no u

>>735613439
Arent both of those statements correct?

>>735614596
Nobody ive talked to irl has ever heard of calvin & hobbes, despite bill watterson being from 20 minutes away

>>735609510
>>735610079
this shit makes me mad because there is a brand called DUCK tape

>>735614911
I have the collection, all 3 giant books. Some of that shit is deep... dem feels.

i used to think doggy always meant anal. Surely you couldnt get to the vag from there I thought.

>>735614975
also, recently read some strips where Calvin is married to Suzie derkins as an adult and gives Hobbes to his kid where the adventures continute... more feels.

I thought being gay meant that God didn't love you.

>>735614809
No, gotta tongue punch that clit, buddy.

And when I say I thought the slit was behind the pubes, I mean like where a dick would be, not between their legs.

>>735615178
It doesn't. It means that people who exist don't love you.

>>735615282
Nice

>>735614975
Same here, I have more than 3 though, including one signed by Bill Watterson addressed to one of his family members who gave it to me; I have actually been to the house he grew up in, its the one Calvins house is based on, Ill post a picture in a little bit if I can

>>735615282
slicing me up with that edge

Not teen, I was like 8 or 9

Used to walk around spank everyone in my class not knowing it was considered bad, it got me into a load of trouble when the teach caught me

When I was little, I thought men impregnated women by peeing inside them.

>>735615627
>addressed to one of his family members
you sucked his dick for it, didn't you anon.

>opens cardboard box onto ground
>come into the time machine he said
>no
>flips cardboard box over
>come into the transmogrifier he said
>plz no
>plz stop

>>735603184
I thought the same fucking thing holy shit

I used to think that nuclear reactors were some kind of weapon that were triggered when the enemy exploded nukes in your country.

Specifically what they did, or even where they did it were unknown to me. The only thing I was sure about was that they reacted to nuclear bombs.

>>735604297
I thought the same but with assholes.

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Thought the eye on this sign was a joint. Was high when i found out it wasnt and proceeded to laugh my ass off.

>>735615857
But this is true. Right?

>>735605078
Born cut? No, it's just that ridiculous ceremony is very prominent across the pond.

I wondered whether speakers being put upside down would also make the sound come out upside down

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>>735615627
>>735615881
It was addressed to his aunt and uncle but his mom gave it to me, dont know why or how that happened, I was young when she gave it to me

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>>735616210
So you didn't suck his dick then.

I thought that everyone was born male and if the parents wanted a girl, the doctor would just push the dick back inside the body.

>>735616350
I didnt say that

>>735616370

congrats, you understood trannies

>>735612821
kek

>>735616370
But that's exactly what happens anon!?

>>735616370
You were way ahead of your time

thought all dogs were boys and all cats were girls

>>735616370
I'd like to point out that I did not believe this when I was a teen as the post requests. I had this idea when I was 4/5.

>>735616853
>735616853
So you're a fucking liar then

>>735616747

Heh, I'm suddenly remembering I used to think this too, 25 years ago

>>735616747
Same.

>>735616915
Nope. Came up with it with my best friend I met in my first year of primary school (UK).

>>735616853
So did yoi just tape it down until your doc chopped it off?

>>735616747
Lel but all dogs are conformists and all cats are anarchistic sociopaths lol

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>>735603184
I used to think pussies were hot and dicks where ugly

>>735604387
same

>>735617073
>"Push the dick back inside the body"

>>735609510
Actually it was/is duck tape until branding was applied. It was sticky shit on duck cloth...

But you can be that ignorant asshole who tries to point out others... like me.

>>735603184

Not when I was a teen, but before I knew what a vagina was my theory on female genitalia was that they had dicks but no balls

>>735604951
>friend
>/b/
NORMIES GET OFF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEE

>>735607088
How many times were you touched?

>>735617899
Once. By some kid in my class. I think he was also abused tho.

>>735609849
She was dead

>>735608468
You must be a special kind of tard if you can't remember.

When i was around 8-10 i was afraid to peel back my foreskin all the way cause i was afraid my dick was gonna fall out of my body

>>735619252
Lol yeah

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I used to play with my dick pushing my fingers against the underside and pushing my entire dick against my belly and then would rub my fingers back and forth in a motion like I was sanding something with sandpaper or scrubbing a plate with a sponge.

I used to do it so much I got friction burns on my dick
The first time I came I thought the semen was puss and that I had destroyed my penis.
Until I was about 15 I didn't realize that I was masturbating "wrong" and turned down a bunch of girls who were into me because I had a "destroyed dick."

By the time I found out I was normal most of the girls in my school thought I was some weirdo or gay and didn't want anything to do with me.

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I thought you had to pee in a girl to get her pregnant. What does bdsm stand for anyway?

>>735603184
>bdsm stood for big dick small mouth.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Best kek in weeks.

>>735620223
>pee in a girl to get her pregnant

This is common among children with learning difficulties. Even when shown the whole system step by step they can't imagine anything except pee coming out.

Also BDSM stands for Bondage Domination Sado-Masochism

>>735620218
Aren't you glad no one thought enough of you to teach you a basic understanding of your body?

>>735620766
Yeah, its so wonderful that parents can refuse sex-ed and other health classes

>>735604153
lul

I thought sex was stickin it in the bunghole till i was 7
i knew women had a vagina just didnt put 2 and 2 together

>>735606941
he googled it

>>735606210
I love this

>>735603184
That depending on the color of your skin was the color of your semen.

>>735603758
good thing nobody ever said "tit wank"

Girl I was dating when I was like 17 had a brilliant one.

Her dad told her that black people have white hands and big lips and squashed noses because if they misbehaved as kids their parents would stick them to the window.

>>735623717

wtf? Where are you from? People say tit wank all the time! If you're in the UK i bet you're one of these fucking foreigners.

>>735606941
>hors d'oeuvres
>d'oeuvres
>oeuvres
>oeu
>oe

>o
>e

nice try, asshat

>>735607938
>tells a story on /b/ about how some dickwad got him to make a fool out of himself in school
>says that he was the dick and the loser was someone else
>I was Chad
>I was Chad
>I was Chad
No matter how many times you say it, it will never be true and nobody will ever believe your delusions.

>>735624464
Yeah like you know the shortcut for e dans l'o, stupido

>>735603184
Used to think that men could only orgasm once in their whole life.

>>735616747
same but different

i thought rats were boys and mice were girls

>>735619547
well, did it??

Interracial was pronounced inter-ack-tial

>>735624118
>everybody lives in the uk

nice contribution to the thread, retard

>>735625457
no
>open character map
>ctrl+f
>oe
takes about 2½ seconds

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>>735616747
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3P-K4LnGmUo

>>735625457
also
i had to google "e dans l'o" to be sure you weren't making the name up
what kind of a stupid name is that

>>735603184
Ebony pronounced
E-bone-y

>>735626065
Never dared to try it

>>735604111
Dude that's legit as fuck! Big Booty Whooty!

>>735627191
Linguistics are fascinating to me, but hey, I don't judge you.

>>735604111
to this day, i still read it as "big, BIG women"

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>>735620218
>Hey anon want to go out?

>No thanks grill I got a destroyed cock

That's some weapons grade autism ain't it?

>>735627638
no don't get me wrong
i love linguistics
i am fascinated
i'm fascinated by how nobody's come up with a proper name for that grapheme yet

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>>735603184

when you see dp on a license plate it means "double penetration",

>>735627776
I wouldn't tell them I have a "destroyed cock"

I'd just say "n-no thank you trisha I'm just not into dating right now" or something to that effect.

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>>735603184

KIA = killed in action

I thought you have sex everyday when you're in a relationship

>>735627661

I always read it as big bloated whale.

>>735604530
but you did realize it

>>735627776
>primitive eukaryote
>getting laid
Nope. Mitosis.

>>735628291
That's correct, I didn't make the picture though.

>>735604672
>>735604729
Ashley Alban

When I was a teen I thought this website was cool and I should lurk it.

Biggest mistake of my life.

>>735608501
My parents encouraged this. How was I to know different? I wasn't alive in the olden days

>>735627191
Because the E is inside (partly ok) the O

>>735603432
1/10

>>735628639
We're all stuck here and we have to live with it.

>>735609095
You need better friends

I remember when I was younger I saw a phone number advertising oral sex on the walls of a public toilet, and I thought it meant phone sex

>>735628847
i'm not saying i don't get it
i'm saying it's a dumbass name
like calling a "i" "dot over bar"

>>735603184
I love her.

I thought masturbating was actually making out. 10/10 not a lie. The iconic sailor dipping his girlfriend with a kiss? Yup they're masturbating.

>>735629522
Wish her twerking vids were on the bay.
All I can ever find now are uploads to porn sites, no download links.

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>>735604744

>>735629314
Except dot and bar aren't letters.
The only other weirdly name letter i can think of is the w, with another example of english retardation since it's clearly 2 v and not 2 u...
And maybe the german ß

I thought it was ok to have a crush on my cousin.

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>>735603253
fuck

I thought that as long as only my head was sticking out of my blankets, i was invincible. A nuke could have fallen on the house, destroying everything, but i would be fine under my armored cover...
But god forbid i had one fingernail out, that would have been the end

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>>735603184
I was younger than a teen but I used to think that bloodthirsty meant you were so thirsty you would drink blood.

I thought nig nogs were actually humans

>>735632399
I used to think since i had red blood whitey had blue blood cause i could see their veins through the skin

>>735632903
HA. As a white guy I can tell you I used to think my blood was blue for a long time (for the exact reason you mentioned), and that stupid idea was supported by learning I had french noble heritage (color of french nobility, hence the blue part of the french flag). But then I learned my blood was indeed red and my family poor as shit. Life sucks.

>>735627222
uhh
how do you actually say it

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>>735603184
When I was a stupid teen, I thought that a gun's purpose was to kill, and I thought they should be banned. When I grew up, I realized that killing was a gun's function, and that protection was their purpose.

Before I could cum, I thought my precum was cum and I'd jack it so fast and vigorously that it would foam up

I use to think I would get bitches, or at least 1, if I tried. HA.

>>735628291
Still counts

>>735634407
Truth

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>>735603184
Used to have a stupid argument with this friend when I was younger, he would always say that OP was two separate letters you say rather than pronouncing it like you should (awp).
I always laughed in his face when he said O-P instead of awp.
To this day I'll never understand why he didn't just say awp.

JAV -

Japanese
Action
Video

I still don't know the real term

>>735636829
Japanese Adult Video you mong

>>735636335

You're a faggot autist, right?

My mums names starts with an M and my dads starts with a D so I thought all mums and dads had to have names starting with those letters.

At like 11 or 12 I remember the first time I heard the term 'beating your meat' and I took it literally so I went to the bathroom, put my dick on the counter and started like backhanding it waiting for something to happen