Without laughing. I think I can fuck up a gorilla with bare

>>735298699
the real question is this.... could you seduce, and make sweet sweet love to a gorilla?

issou

>>735298699

A lot of it is body language, I was involved in interspecies combat for many years. Gorillas are formidable opponents unless you can phase then with the right body language. All the skill in the world won't save your skin if the gorilla thinks you're scare. Scream and charge at the fucker and land a flurry of punches with the fury of a thousand suns.

Chimps are another matter, in many ways I'd sooner fight a gorilla than a chimp. My last fight was with a chimp, the whole thing was weighing heavy on my conscience and it was that fight that finished it. He was blind in one eye and he wanted me dead he did some real damage, I didn't come out on top. I made enough money to quit for good, but I felt bad for the chimp, I knew he didn't want to fight. He sensed my weakness and I was finished.

>>735298699
I am all for you trying

Faggot gonna rape a gorilla

>>735298954
>Interspecies combat

Beating your girlfriend doesn't count

>>735298699
You couldn't fight your way out of your momma's basement, boy

Bear wrestling was a thing once, before people got all pussified. But I'm still going to bet that you'd get fucking rekt trying to fight a Gorilla like you would a human.

>>735298954
>i was involved in interspecies combat for many years

this is a new copypasta

>>735299098

You talk big over the Internet little man.

>>735299314
Way ahead of you anon

>>735298699

Wonder how this would play out...

>OP dances around the ring
>OP sticks and move, floating like a butterly
>OP throws several ninja kicks, impressing the judges
>Gorilla grabs OP and smashes him against a tree like mammy beating a rug
>Gorilla pulls OP's arms off

>>735299327
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

File: 1496256633422.jpg (42KB, 413x395px)

42KB, 413x395px

>>735299098
kek

File: IMG_0902.jpg (59KB, 400x400px)

59KB, 400x400px

Unless you have trained for gorilla warfare, you won't be able to takedown a gorilla, it's that simple.

>>735299327
What in Davy Jones’ locker did ye just bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I’ll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the seven seas, and I’ve led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the high seas. Ye be nothing to me but another source o’ swag. I’ll have yer guts for garters and keel haul ye like never been done before, hear me true. You think ye can hide behind your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my secret network o’ pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked right now so ye better prepare for the typhoon, weevil. The kind o’ monsoon that’ll wipe ye off the map. You’re sharkbait, fool. I can sail anywhere, in any waters, and can kill ye in o’er seven hundred ways, and that be just with me hook and fist. Not only do I be top o’ the line with a cutlass, but I have an entire pirate fleet at my beck and call and I’ll damned sure use it all to wipe yer arse off o’ the world, ye dog. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might have belayed the comment. But ye couldn’t, ye didn’t, and now ye’ll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I’ll shit fury all over ye and ye’ll drown in the depths o’ it. You’re fish food now, lad.

>>735299633
What about going down on a gorilla?

Record it, watching you make yourself look a cunt and dying very quickly would sweep the net. Lol. Do it I say.

>>735298699

You'll never beat a gorilla. They'll just plague your economy with their ineptness whilst simultaneously blaming you for their failures.

>muh racisms

>>735299054
Gorilla gonna rape a faggot

>>735298699
I'll say the same thing i said last time this b8 has been posted:

If you wanna assert dominance and scare a Gorilla, beat your chest in front of it

File: IMG_0904.png (250KB, 696x696px) Image search: [Google]

250KB, 696x696px

>>735299712

>>735299915

Or rape it.

>>735298699
Well you seem pretty confident, who am I to judge? Go for it op, break into the local zoo and put one of those fuckers in their place. I'll wait for the news reports.

File: harra.jpg (101KB, 717x718px) Image search: [Google]

101KB, 717x718px

>>735298699
beat this guy, u cunt.

>>735298699
probably possible, but if he hits you once, and you fall or something similar, he gonna fuck you up

>>735299915
I'm not certain a gorilla will find OP beating his basement dweller chest and then dying of heart complications from overexertion anyhow dominant or scary.

>>735299963
In order to raep a gorilla, you have to assert dominance

Which i instructed in my previous post

>>735300129
easy. i will sneak attack him, sweep his legs from under, and attempt a flying armbar. he will be immobilized.

>>735300177
Dumbass... If you knew anything about gorillas, you'd know that beating your chest in front of them is a sure way one way trip to death

>>735298699
But can you gain his trust, seduce him and then slip qaaludes into his drink and have sex with his paralyzed body?

>>735298699
189 pounds? So like 1/30th what a teenage (not full grown) gorrilla weighs, you would throw all your punches and break your pussy wrists on its fur nevermind its muscle, then it would tear your arm right off and eat you halfway, realize how gross you taste and leave you to die slowly, you are an idiot and a half.

>>735298699
Zookeeper here. A 20 monkey will fuck up any MMA dude if the monkey is pissed or scared. You can not imagine the intensity and skills such an animal will display. Their canine teeth are not vestigial like ours... they work.

>>735298699
I hope you achieve your dreams and come face to face with a gorilla.

>>735299327
Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin’ & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling

File: 1497034593394.png (601KB, 824x706px) Image search: [Google]

601KB, 824x706px

>>735300270
You do realize it would tear you limb from limb and you would barely phase it with any kind of hit? Actually go do it, I have confidence in your ability to remove yourself from the gene pool, I hope you haven't managed to breed yet.

>>735300780
20 lb. monkey

>>735298699
If a chimp can literally tear your face off, I like your odds against a Gorilla.

>>735299213
The bears were always trained dumbass, they didn't wrestle wild bears they'd get murdered like it's nothing

File: 1496965392837.jpg (78KB, 1087x1080px)

78KB, 1087x1080px

>>735298954
>my last fight was with a chimp

i love 4chan

>>735301647

Like you know so much about wrestling bears, you've probably never seen one outside a gym. Bitch.

File: IMG_2990.jpg (145KB, 790x395px) Image search: [Google]

145KB, 790x395px

>>735298699

Guess OP is a navy seal, he's clearly trained in gorilla warfare.

>>735298954
Kek

>>735299525
Lol... what a joke you are

>>735302063
I lol'd

>>735299098
Topkek

>>735299525
cant beleive you typed all that up you sound like a faggot

File: Newfag.jpg (36KB, 496x599px)

36KB, 496x599px

>>735303195

how new are you, hey guys get a load of this newfag! sure is summer in here! this guy doesn't get it. We got newfag here, his guys the real deal, n e w f a g

>>735302489
>>735303195
Kek
Summer is upon us

>>735303420
thanks for the (you) friend, perhaps i wont kill myself today

>>735298699
Record it, timestamp it, and make your declaration. Until then, your claim is unproven.

>>735303611
>>735303420
do you retards actually believe >>735303195
doesnt realize its copy?
sure smells like summer.

File: Here+we+see+x+studios+transitioning+from+an+honest+gaming+_d4c11082a1053f8dd5fa7e664dce51b3.png (39KB, 400x336px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 400x336px

>>735298699
K

OP is a fucking retard

>>735303918
No no no accept your summer fagdom

>>735303918
Sure feels like winter in here. Fuck off winterfag. Go fag up someone else's image board.

File: glanon.jpg (32KB, 450x468px)

32KB, 450x468px

gl.

>>735298699
I don't think you realize just exactly how strong a silverback is.
One time at the zoo when I was a child I once watched one in the Gorilla exhibit pick up a large tractor tire, put it above his head, and then squeeze it like it was a fooze ball.
The inner sides touch each other.
When he was done, and threw it the thing made such a loud crash as it hit the ground, and finally span into stillness.

I didn't think my of it when I was a kid, but I work construction now, and know how fucking heavy, and incredibly hard it is to bend those things.

You wouldn't stand a chance. Even if you had a knife.

File: 1497031777567.jpg (70KB, 544x960px) Image search: [Google]

70KB, 544x960px

>>735304317

File: 1496730169857.gif (2MB, 250x250px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 250x250px

>>735304721
>deepwater jew

File: f48.png (466KB, 600x603px) Image search: [Google]

466KB, 600x603px

>>735305077
>fuck off winterfag

>>735298699
gorillas are made of iron

>>735305263
its spring

>>735305337
see
>>735304317

>>735305360
i dont get it

Martial arts are nothing more than men doing ballerina shit. Weak minded people fight, weaker minded people train to fight. Idiots make it a hobby, retards get in the ring.

Why not just practice car crashes and boast about how you can fuck up a dump truck with a Honda Civic?

>>735298699
Okay, I believe you. Let's see it. Live stream.

>>735305476

It's their fragile masculinity, i denounced my gender a long time ago. Gender is OVER

https://youtu.be/7P2fJ4iuxTo gj

>>735305449
then fuck off back to redd1t

File: Mootdoitfaggot_1.jpg (25KB, 249x249px)

25KB, 249x249px

>>735298699
So stop bragging about it on the internet and show us.

File: 3kbyh.gif (628KB, 204x111px)

628KB, 204x111px

>>735298954
>He was blind in one eye and he wanted me dead
Kek

File: Cxo3XxG.gif (876KB, 500x281px) Image search: [Google]

876KB, 500x281px

>>735299098

File: Yplh18u.png (26KB, 527x409px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 527x409px

It's a copypasta, newfags.

File: 7c170cbf75475dc9d21536f5cc8da03d.jpg (125KB, 787x1296px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 787x1296px

>>735299327
So do you douche bag