I AM AN OPERATIONS MANAGER FOR A CONCERT THEATER. ASK ME ANYTHING

Tell us a story about Joe Rogan

I've seen Sarah Silverman naked in like three movies it's dope

Tell us some secrets, anon!

>>735041907


MOST LIKELY A FAG. HE WAS THERE WITH EDDIE BRAVO AND I HAD TO DELIVER SOME PAPERS (THOSE ONES THEY USE FOR WEED). IN THEIR DRESSING ROOM THEIR ARE TWO DOORS. THEY USUALLY LEAVE THEM BOTH LOCKED OR AT LEAST THE SECOND ONE LOCKED. HE LEFT THE SECOND OPENED AND FIRST CLOSED. I WALKED IN TO WHAT LOOKED LIKE A MAKE OUT SESSION ON THE FLOOR. THEY AWKWARDLY STARTED TALKING TO EACH OTHER ABOUT SOME "CHOKE" BUT I WASN'T CONVINCED. I PRETENDED I DIDN'T SEE BUT I SWORE I SAW THEM KISSING.

Just tell us the juicy bits. Ain't got time to ask a bunch of shit.

>>735041620

Do you have dirt on Sarah Silverman? Also, would you bang her? Have you ever had sex with someone famous?

What's the most fucked story you have?

>>735042083
Yeesh lose the caps or I will NOT be a part of this thread! Use proper etiquette while browsing a board of such high esteem.

>>735042063


ABOUT SARAH? SHE'S AN UNBELIEVABLE GERMAPHOBE. I DON'T KKOW HOW SHE'S HID IT FROM THE MEDIA OR MAYBE THEY DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

SHE WON'T USE OUR FORKS, KNIVES ETC. AND BRINGS HER OWN IN A PLASTC WRAP INCLUDING CUPS ETC. IT'S CRAZY.

I SEEN HER ALMOST GO INTO FULL BLOW PANIC MODE BECAUSE SOMEONE SNEEZED IN HER ROOM I HAD TO LYSOL IT (I HATE THAT FUCKING SHIT) TO THE POINT I WOULD GAG WHEN I WALKED IN. SHE ALSO WIPES EVERY THING DOWN WITH 99% ISOPROPYL ALCOHOL. SHE SHOOK MY HAND, SURPRISINGLY, AND IT WAS DRY AND ROUGH AS FUCK PROBABLY FROM WASHING IT SOME MANY TIMES.

SHE'S ALSO PRETTY UGLY IN REAL LIFE. HER DAD WAS WITH HER AND HE'S PROBABLY 100X FUNNIER THAN SHE IS.

File: 1325871651408.jpg (200KB, 587x392px) Image search: [Google]

200KB, 587x392px

>>735041620
COOL BRO!!!!

BUT COULD YOU DO ME A SOLID AND STOP YELLING?!!!!!

>>735042244


I DO. SHE DID OUR VENUE 4X. I HAD TO TAKE HER OUT THE LAST 2X.

I HAS SEX WITH ALANIS MORRISSETTE BUT NOT JOB RELATED.

HEY OP
WANNA
SUCK
MY
DICK
?

>>735042372
That's it I am OUT. I gave you your chance and now YOU pay the price! I could have given you 5 solid replies and or "bumps" if you will but you have ruined it. Good day to you and I hope to the heavens you never show your face around these parts again.

>>735042394


NO.

>>735042453

What is the dirt?

Do you have any interesting stories/dirt?

Sarah Silverman being a germaphobe isn't very interesting. Like, Gawker wouldn't post that even if you had it veried back when Gawker was a thing.

>>735042503


DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YOU ON THE WAY OUT.

Be honest: Have you ever raped anyone? Including feeling a girl up when she's passed out drinking?

Or have you been raped?

How does Alanis Morrisette's pussy taste?

>>735042554

SHE'S NOT AN INTERESTING PERSON. KIND OF NEUROTIC AND WHINY AND VERY , VERY HAIRY UNTIL LAST TIME I SEEN HER. SHE SAID SHE LASERED HER WHOLE BODY AND OFFERED TO SHOW ME HER NEWLY CLEANED ASSHOLE. I SAID NO THANKS.


SHE ALSO ADMITTED TO ME SHE WAS MOLESTED AT 10 AND HASN'T ENJOYED SEX NOR HAS HAD AN ORGASM IN HER LIFE. SHE ALSO SAID HER EX KIMMEL WAS FAT AS FUCK AND HAD A SMALL DICK AND IT WAS DISGUSTING FUCKING HIM.

File: tonsillars-tone.jpg (65KB, 223x250px) Image search: [Google]

65KB, 223x250px

>>735042625
It probably tastes like what a tonsil stone smells like.

Is Gallagher gay?

>>735042625


NO AND NO. I STOPPED AN ATTEMPTED RAPE THOUGH.

I DIDN'T EAT ALANIS OUT SO I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW IT TASTE. NO ODOR FROM IT. I WAS 20 AND A FUCKING IDIOT WHEN I FUCKED HER. SHE WAS MY THIRD SEXUAL EXPERIENCE.

>>735042752
a-are we supposed to know.. what this smells like?..

>>735042625
>How does Alanis Morrisette's pussy taste?
You assume it is not a tranny.

>>735042732
HAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS

>>735042811


DON'T KNOW. HE NEVER PERFORMED HERE.

>>735042883

SHE'S NOT A TRANNY. SHE HAS A PUSSY.

>>735042896
fucking click caps lock you autistic retard

>>735042732
Wow bro dropping knowledge that 90% of us already knew. It's not like if you google her naked she has a bush or anything... Oh wait she does!

>>735042948


NO. LEAVE.

>>735042930
Innie or outie

>>735043019
no u

>>735042868
They're small bits of food, dead bacteria, mucus and are crawling with bacteria. Sometimes they accumulate at the back of your throat and Jesus fucking Christ.

It is probably one of the worst smelling things I've ever experienced.

>>735042983


DO YOU KNOW SHE IS COMPLETELY LASERED? NO. SO FUCK OFF.

>>735042930
>SHE'S NOT A TRANNY. SHE HAS A PUSSY.
Show pic of her pussy.

>>735043050


OUTTIE. ROAST BEEF LIKE CURTAINS. MASSIVE PUSSY BUT REALLY TIGHT.

LOL OP IS A RETARD REPLYING TO HIS OWN REPLY
LAMAO
OP
WANNA
SUCK
MY
DICK
?

>>735043091
lol op getting beat by everyone, even those trying to humor him

>>735042732
And you just outed yourself ass bullshit. According to Adam Carolla Kimmel has a huge cock. No joke. This threat is full of shit.

>>735043078
I WANT TO SHOVE THESE IN MY NOSTRILS, AND LET JOE ROGAN SHIT IN MY MOUTH.

>>735043137


YEAH RIGHT. I FUCKED HER WHEN CELL HONES WERE STILL THE SIZE OF A TENNIS RACQUET.

>>735042503
Is this pasta?
IS THIS NEW SHIT?
WTF /B/ OMG THANKYOU

>>735043204


SO HE SUCKED IT LIKE SARAH DID?...MAYBE HE DID BUT SARAH SAID HIS COCK IS TINY. SHE EVEN SHOWED ME WITH HER FINGERS.

>>735042372
>Germaphobe
BUT HEY! SHE DOES LIKES A DICK
THATS A FUCKING EXCEPTION JUST LIKE HOW OP IS AN EUNICH!!

>>735043204
I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS THAT BIG WHEN IT WAS IN MY ASS, BUT I LIKE FISTING, SO MAYBE I CAN TAKE MORE THAN ADAM.

Any thing on Amy Schumer?

>>735043231


HE PROBABLY WOULD BUT HE HAS A "TYPE". HE'S A SMALL MAN. PROBABLY 5'4" AND WEARS LIFTS. HE'S MUSCULAR BUT TINY AND HIS TYPE SEEMS TO BE PETITE MEXICAN MEN.

>>735042503
this is pretty funny, caps for future generations

>>735043341

OH FUCK.....SHE'S A FUCKING PIG. A COMPLETE PIG. PROBABLY THE RAUNCHIEST PERSON I HAVE MET.

>>735043341
I FUCKED THAT HAM BEAST RIGHT IN HER POOP VAGINA.

>>735043307
No they would go to New York for Howard Stern and shared a hotel room in pretty sure that's where he saw his hog. This thread is officially bullshit.

>>735043447
How so?

Anyone famous shit themselves?
I find it humorous when"adults" lose control of basic functions

>>735043472


I AM REPEATING WHAT SARAH TOLD ME. SHE ALSO SAID HE USED TO SMELL LIKE SHIT.

COME TO THINK OF IT SHE TALKED A LOT OF TRASH ABOUT KIMMEL FOR SOME REASON.

>>735043559
They probably just broke up. Any thing on Louie CK?

>>735042732
Self-described “guy’s guy” Adam Carolla thinks the editors at People magazine should take penis size into account when deciding who is the “Sexiest Man Alive.” Which would mean his pal Jimmy Kimmel would win.
“I think we should narrow it down to the top five and then have a simple test to see who is the real winner. A simple water displacement test would do it. I have a van and I’m willing, schedule permitting. It’s an unmarked van and celebrities could come in and see who out of George, Ben, Matt and Brad is America’s real winner,” Carolla said. “After all, that part of each guy is part of being a man. Now, I have seen Jimmy Kimmel naked several times and I’m just saying maybe People might want to think about him. We all know it’s not the length or the girth. It’s a combination of both. Now, honestly, wouldn’t you really want to know that?”


GET FUCKED YOU LARPING FAGGOT

>>735043507


SHE DRINKS LIKE A MOTHER FUCK. SHE FINISHED A WHOLE BOTTLE OF VECCHIA ROMANO IN LIKE AN HOUR AND IT WAS BEFORE LUNCH.

SHE ALSO GETS PRETTY TOUCHY WHEN DRUNK. I WAS BEING COLD AND PROFESSIONAL WITH HER AND I HONESTLY THINK SHE WANTED TO FUCK ME. NOT BRAGGING BUT SHE WAS MAKING LEWD COMMENTS (I AMA STRAIGHT ACTING GAY GUY). WHEN SHE DIDN'T GET TE REACTION SHE WANTED SHE PUT HER FINGERS IN HER SNATCH AND SHOVED THEM UNDER MY NOSE AND FOUND IT HILARIOUS. I DIDN'T .

>>735043559
Also Sarah would pop Kimmels back zits. Also I think she sorta shit herself once right before giving Norm Macdonald a ride somewhere, her telling that story is on youtube. So I don't think she's that crazy about germs. I call bullshit

>>735043636


NO. HE BRINGS HIS OWN PEOPLE SO I DO OPERATIONS ONLY NOTHING PERSONAL FOR HIM. HE'S VERY CAREFUL ABOUT THAT.

File: 1478658747240.jpg (15KB, 228x217px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 228x217px

>>735043137
Why would you want this? Alanis Morrisette is perhaps the most repulsive woman on the planet

don't mind me, I'm just here to show my dubs

>>735043460
OH, AND ALSO I LET HER ALSO FUCK ME IN MY POOP VAGINA, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I LIKE PEOPLE PUTTING THINGS INSIDE ME TOO. I NEED MY BOIHOLE TO BE STUFFED TO SLEEP AT NIGHT, IT'S AN ADDICTION NOW LOL.

>>735043729


NO FUCKING WAY SHE SHIT HERSELF. WE HAD TO CHANGE THE TOILET SEAT AS PER HER RIDER. SO NICE TRY FUCK FACE.

>>735043702
Just stop already.

>>735043787


I AIN'T NO BARGAIN EITHER AND I WASN'T EXACTLY SURE I WAS STRAIGHT AT THE TIME.

>>735041620
Would Sarah Silverman shit into a man's mouth? Probably one of the few whose shit I would eat. At least 10 years ago. Maybe even now as she condescended me.

>>735043822
Upload a rider then you huge faggot. If you are gay enough to brag about it on the internet surely you have proof at hand?

>>735043822
https://youtu.be/dh7ZL3twAcs

Here you go now shut the fuck up

>>735043822
Do they have to pay for the things on there rider?

>>735043900


I DOUBT IT. SHE SEEMS TO REALLY, REALLY NOT LIKE SEX.

SHE ALSO DOESN'T DRINK AT ALL. NOTHING. NOT A TOUCH OF ALCOHOL. I HAD LUNCH WITH HER TWO TIMES AND DIDN'T SEE HER DRINK AND WAS ONE OF MAYBE 2 COMEDIANS WHO DIDN'T DRINK ONSTAGE

>>735043932


SHE'S PROBABLY LYING SINCE SHE'S BORING AS FUCK AND HAS NO REAL STORIES SO FUCK OFF BUTT HURT LONELY LOSER.

Norm Macdonald?

>>735043952


NOT ME PERSONALLY, THE VENUE.

>>735043702
You're full of fucking shit. No way she finished it in an hour.

WHEN PATTON OSWALT WAS HERE HE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO GET A DRINK WITH HIM AND A FRIEND

WHEN WE MET UP AFTER THE SHOW HE SAID HIS FRIEND FLAKED AND IT WOULD BE JUST HIM

HE SAID WE COULD DRINK IN HIS HOTEL ROOM AND I SERIOUSLY THINK HE MAY HAVE TRIED TO ROOFIE ME I LEFT AFTER A FEW SHOTS AND FEELING REALLY WEIRD

>>735044170


SHE DID FAGGOT. WITH COKE AND DOWNED TWO VENDOR DOGS WHILE DRINKING.

>>735044112
How convenient. Who am to believe Sarah Silverman or some anonymous fucking retard on 4chan

>>735044038
got any more stories about Amy Schumer?
this >>735043702 one was pretty good

I want to hate that stupid cunt more than I already do

If no more Amy Schumer, got anything for Melissa McCarthey or Kate McKinnon?

>>735044143
I meant do the performers have to pay for there rider. Daniel Tosh told me they do, but I figured it depended on how big you are.

>>735044225


I DON'T REALLY CARE FUCK FACE. I DOUBT A PERSON WHO WANTS THE FUCKING TOILET SEAT CHANGED WOULD DO THAT,,,THEN AGAIN IT WAS ACCIDENT AND WHAT COULD SHE DO?

HOW DID YOU HAVE THAT STORY HANDY HUH FUCK FACE?

>>735044038
What the actual fuck kind of comedian doesn't drink before going on stage or even on stage.

Clearly a Jew trying to mind control the main stream.

Eh, you're probably full of shit yourself, but tell her an anon would gladly eat her jew gold shit if she was fit as fuck as she was.

>>735044231
MELISSA MCCARTHEY IS ACTUALLY REALLY NICE

BUT HER BREATH IS SO BAD

>>735044225
clearly the faggot OP who can't find his capslock key

>>735044038
Hi there anonymous 4chan user! Just stopping by to ask why you didn’t end this comment with a period. Are you aware that this is improper punctuation and therefore the wrong way to go about using the English language correctly? I think I speak for this community as a whole when I say that this is quite disturbing and it makes me very confused. Was this merely an accident? Did you actually mean to add more but accidentally posted your comment prematurely? Were you killed mid sentence? The problem is that I have no clue! This will most definitely keep me up tonight if you don’t respond and acknowledge what you have done. Please reply with the proper correction. Thank you in advance, it is greatly appreciated and I hope this clears up any confusion for any other users in this thread.

I must also request you tone it down on the Capitalization of every single letter of every single word. Capitalization is mostly used for people,places,and things!, most commonly of course it is used to capitalize the first letter in a new sentence! Again I hope this clears up any confusion.

>>735044231
OH AND KATE MCKINNON IS NOT GAY EXCLUSIVELY

SHE IS MORE BI I SAW HER WITH A YOUNG LATIN BOY SUCKING FACE AFTER

>>735044312
I'm a fan of Norm Macdonald I came across that video. Why does that matter anyways you're full shit just like her ass was in that story.

>>735044408
>>735044318
Thanks mate.
So unfortunately nothing else on Schumer, huh?

>>735044231


AMY IS LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS BUT NOT EASY TO HATE. SHE'S IKE A MAN WITH TITS AND POWERFULLY BUILT AS FUCK.

SHE BRAGS HOW SHE FUCKED DOLPH ZIGGLER AND SAID HIS COCK WAS LIKE A HORSE COCK (MADE ME JEALOUS, I LOVE DOLPH). SHE STARTED TALKING ABOUT HIM AFTER SHE NOTICED MY SETH ROLLINS T SHIRT (WHICH IS WEIRD SINCE IT'S NOT EASY T SHIRT TO RECOGNIZE). SHE SAID HE FUCKED HER SO HARD SHE COULDN'T WALK PROPERLY FOR TWO DAYS AND MADE HER BLEED. SHE DESCRIBED IT AS BEING FUCKED BY A WILD BULL. LITTLE DID SHE KNOW I MASTURBATED TO THAT STORY WHEN I GOT HOME.

>>735044504
If her ass was full of shit I would eat it all out of her.

>>735044307


I NEVER HEARD OF THAT AT OUR VENUE. WE HAVE TO PAY FOR IT. MAYBE TOSH WANTS LITTLE BOYS TO FUCK OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT, SOME EVEN HAVE SPECIFIC HOTELS THEY WILL ONLY STAY AT.

>>735044376
ERRONEOUS EXCLAMATION MARK AFTER THINGS, KEEP TRYING FAGOOT

>>735044570
>Implying a decent lookin fit man who is a somewhat celebrity would fuck that garbage.

>>735044686
There's a good question

Any confirmations on celebrities being pedophiles?
That's an interesting thing to look at.

>>735044617


MUST BE A DESPERATE FAT FUCK. SHE'S REALLY AVERAGE IN PERSON AND HAS A BODY LIKE A SEAR'S BOX.

>>735044707
No correction then? You truly are the scum of this earth. This website will work together with ME to rid you of any future posting power.

ALI WONG OFFERED ME A HAND JOB AND THEN BACKED OUT WHEN I TOLD HER WE COULD DO MORE

I DONT KNOW IF SHE WAS JOKING AND FREAKED OUT WHEN I TOOK HER SERIOUSLY

>>735044717


DOLPH GETS EXPONENTIALLY MORE PUSSY THAN YOU...MAYBE EVEN THE SAME PUSSY YOU GET; YOUR MOM'S

>>735044826
Post a picture that proves your job

>>735044783


I SUSPECT JERRY LIKES THEM YOUNG. NOT REALLY YOUNG BUT AROUND 16ISH.

>>735044883
Exactly you retard you are proving my point. So then why would he fuck that disgusting unfunny garbage?

>>735044570
you jacked off to her yet refused to fuck her?

>>735044826
>>735044936


STFU SAME FAG. NOTICE EVERYONE IS IGNORING YOU SAME FAG? JUST GO TO SLEEP LOSER.

>>735044962


UHHH..HE ADMITTED IT YOU DUMB FUCK. HE FUCKS ANYTHING WALKING WITH HOLES.

>>735044968


NO YOU FUCKING IMBECILE. I JACKED OFF TO DOLPH. I AM 100% GAY NOW.

>>735044995
NOT THE SAME FAG HACKERMAN

>>735045102

I SAID GO TO SLEEP BITCH.

My mommy came in an read this thread and I thought she would take away my internet privileges. Turns out you must have turned her on with one of your stories because she asked for the link to this thread and said don't tell dad lol. I wonder what's got mommy all worked up? I don't think she's a lez.

JIM GAFFIGAN HAD A NIECE THAT HE BROUGHT WITH HIM TO THE SHOW AND SHE SEEMED NOT TO ACTUALLY BE HIS FAMILY

I DIDNT CATCH HIM DOING ANYTHING TO HER BUT THEY WERE ALWAYS TOUCHING EACH OTHER WEIRD LIKE

>>735045058
NOT BUYING IT FAGGOT LYING LOSER. WHY SETTLE FOR A 5 WHEN YOU'RE CONSTANTLY BANGING 8'S OR MORE? LIE SOME MORE.

>>735045141
Hahaha shut the fuck up faggot

>>735042372
Can confirm this I saw her at Sundance Film Festival a while back and she is a huge germaphobe. Her hands also feel like she's been working with sheet metal for 50 years.

>>735045244
Sure you did OP

>>735045244
SEE IM TELLING THE TRUTH YOU FUCK FACES

>>735044686
No. He said that's why he only asks for two bottles of Smart Water.

>>735045094
fuck off you angry faggot

>>735044995
I don't wanna be a loser. Maybe I should start a thread claiming I work around celebrity's too. I won't be a loser anymore Ill tell you that much.

>>735045343
Haha same fag

>>735045425
SHUT THE FUCK UP BITCH

IM NOT LYING LIKE YOU ARE

File: fa390e14-4fda-47f2-b31c-141954f18e35.jpg (486KB, 720x1024px) Image search: [Google]

486KB, 720x1024px

Anything interesting about pic related?

yes Sarah is a big germaphobe, I knew a guy who dated her in college

>>735045472
"SEE! SEE! I AM TELLING THE TRUTH GUYS NO FOOLIN... AM I COOL NOW? "

>>735045574
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAA

SEE IM TELLING THE TRUTH

YOU FAGGOTS DONT KNOW SHIT

>>735045551
I DONT KNOW ANY COMEDIAN NAMED GETTY

YOU ARENT GOING TO TRICK ME FAGGOT

>>735045465
>>735045421
>>735045343
>>735045226


WOW...AREN'T YOU A FAT LITTLE WHINY 12 YEAR OLD BITCH.

>>735044808
Kek. Oh well.

>>735045672
He's Adam Conover you Dingus.

>>735045691
Which one of us?

>>735045582
>>735045620
>>735045672


GO TO SLEEP TIMMY YOU ARE GETTING ANGRY. YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE WILL GO UP AND MUMMY WILL HAVE TO DRIVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL YOU FAT FUCK

op you angry fucking faggot

>>735045756
DONT KNOW THAT NAME

HE MUST NOT BE THAT POPULAR TO PLAY WHERE I WORK

>>735045777


YOU...THE ONLY OTHER GUY POSTING IN THIS THREAD YOU FAT 12 YEAR OLD OBESE IDIOT.

I worked with the USO for a few years. I met a lot of celebrities. The only one that was a dick was Bruce Willis.

>>735045844
Lol I know where you work. You in tomorrow? We should talk about this.

>>735045844


YOU REALLY ARE PATHETIC AREN'T YOU? AHH BABY BITCH SAD PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO RELY TO HIM IF HE DOESN'T PRETEND HE'S ME?

WHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

>>735045781
I FUCK OP'S MOM AND SHE TOLD ME THAT OP NOT ONLY LOVES COCK BUT ALSO LOVES EATING LOGS OF SHIT.

>>735045862
I TALKED TO THAT MALLRATS FAT FUCK GUY

HE SAID BRUCE WAS A DICK TOO

>>735045862


NEVER MET HIM BUT I HEARD HE'S A ROYAL CUNT.

>>735045923
Can confirm fucked OP 'S mom and she said OP loves dick and eats logs of shit.

>>735045993
SEE!! I'M NOT LYING GUYS!! BELIEVE ME NOW!?

>>735045993
NO YOU EAT DICK AND LOVE IT MORE YOU FAGGOT

>>735045993


NO KIDDING FAGGOT. I STATED NUMEROUS TIMES I AM GAY LITTLE TIMMY. YOU KNOW , FUCKING YOUR MALE CAT MAKES YOU GAY TOO TIMMY....NOW GO TO SLEEP.

>>735045153
My mom browses b for rekt threads

Op, whats the craziest story you've heard so far and whos was it? That you can personally vouch for? Thanx

>>735046035
HAHAHAHA NO ONES REPLYING TO YOU YOU FAT FUCK

>>735046059
Well when you put it that way. I guess you're right. Wow you really have the insider information!

>>735046059

I LOVE IT!! KEEP GOING LONELY FAG. IT'S ONLY ME AND YOU.

>>735045956
Let me guess, you work at the Hollywood Improv on Melrose.

>>735046123
HAHAHA YOU SURE ARE!

>>735042948
>click

>>735046200
HAHAHAHAHAHA LIKE ID TELL YOU FAGGOT

>>735046120

WANDA SYKES IS INTO SCAT AND PISS PORN

WE SAW HER LAPTOP LEFT OPEN AND IT HAD ALL KINDS OF WEIRD SHIT ALL OVER IT

>>735043800
Checked.

>>735046247
Ill take that as a yes you little bitch, fuck that place, fucking charging for tickets and making customers pay for two expensive ass items on the menu per person FUCK YOU FUCKING ANAL PROBERS

>>735046120
GEORGE WALLACE IS NOT REALLY A BLACK MAN HE'S ACTUALLY MADE OF SHIT.

>>735042372

ofc she's a Germaphobe, they killed her grandparents and shiet

>>735046399
YOU DONT KNOW SHIT YOU FAT FUCK

YOU DONT KNOW WHERE I WORK

>>735046399
JOKES ON YOU I DON'T WORK HAHAHAH

>>735046446
I AINT NO FAT FUCK, I CAN NAME YOU A SHIT TON OF PLACES AND I'LL BE DAMNED SURE TO TRACK YOU DOWN
COMEDY STORE, LAUGH FACTORY
IM ON TO YOU BITCH

>>735046446
HAHA YOU THINK EVERYONE THINKS YOU ARE REALLY ME

IM THE REAL ONE YOU DUMB FAT FAGGOT

>>735046200


NOT EVEN CLOSE. NOT EVEN SAME COUNTRY,

FATHERFUCKERS
COME LETS HAVE AN ORGY!!!!

>>735046337
Haha ew, i think chuck berry had similar fetishes. Anything else like that? And even though you're gay, i know youd fuck a girl, which celebrity?

>>735046543
STOP TRYING TO USE CAPS LIKE ME

EVERYONE KNOWS WHOS THE REAL ME FAGGOT

>>735045956
He had his assistant keep people from talking to him. I saw him send his assistant into the PX while he waited in the car. Two Marines recognized him and tried to talk to him. He would only crack the window and barely talked or looked at them. His assistant came back, and rushed the guys away. When he got in the car, Bruce screamed at him, had him light a cigarette, took two drags off the cigarette, through it out the window, and yelled at his assistant to drive. Interesting side note: He sent his assistant in the PX to buy a Marine Corps uniform. They refused to sell it to him. Later, he sent a Colonel to buy it. He wore the top that night while playing a blues show.

>>735046549
NO!! I'M THE REAL ONE!! THAT CAN ONLY BE ONE!!

>>735046634
IM USING CAPS CAUSE YOURE PISSING ME OFF AND I NEED TO SHOW MY ANGER
LOUD NOISES

>>735046614
I LIKE THAT ONE DARK HAIRED GIRL FROM THE TV SHOW GOTHAM

I CANT REMEBER HER NAME

>>735046637
What base girl?

>>735042083

I'm a big Joe Rogan fan but I've always had a sneaking suspicion he's bisexual so this is actually feasible to me.

OP might actually be legit.

>>735046637
I HEARD BRUCE WAS A DICK ON THAT COP BUDDY MOVIE TOO

>>735046779
IVE BEEN LYING THE WHOLE TIME HAHAHA

EVERYONE JUST TURN ON CAPS LOCKS AND MAKE UP CELEB LIES BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT OP IS DOING ANYWAY.

>>735046776
It wasn't a base, and I'm not a girl. Camp Fox, Kuwait.

>>735046779
I AM LEGIT

JOE IS INTO MEXICAN GUYS THO

I DONT KNOW IF HE LIKES OTHER RACES

>>735046891
FUCK YOU NO I'M NOT

EDDIE MURPHY REALLY HASN'T BEEN IN THE SPOTLIGHT BECAUSE HE WAS CAUGHT MOLESTING HIS GOD DAUGHTER.

>>735046902
I swear you're from those three clubs in Hollywood, can't wait to screenshot this and send it down their way you bastard

>>735046711
Jessica lucas, morena b, victoria c?

STEVEN HAWKINS ISNT REALLY CRIPPLED

TUPAC IS STILL ALIVE YO YO YO!

>>735046902
Tell me about Neal Brennan and Kevin Nealon, thank you

LILY TOMLIN WAS ACTUALLY BORN AS A MALE BUT HAD A HORRIBLE CIRCUMCISION ACCIDENT

>>735046901
Im mil too, everyone calls everyone a girl

JIM BELUSHI ISNT DEAD

HES LIVING IN PHARUMP NEVADA

>>735047053
NEAL CO WROTE CHAPELLE SHOW

TERRY CREWS ONCE TOLD ME THAT HE WISHED HE WAS BORN A WOMAN

TRACY MORGAN REALLY WASN'T IN THAT LIFE THREATENING ACCIDENT. HE MADE UP THE LIE BECAUSE HE WAS GOING THROUGH CRIPPLING DEPRESSION. HE HAD A WHOLE FAKE HOSPITAL SET AT HIS HOUSE TO TAKE PICTURES INCASE IT EVER CAME INTO QUESTION.

ADAM SANDLER IS ACTUALLY PART OF A JEWISH SYNDICATE THAT SMUGGLES SEX WORKERS INTO ISRAEL

>>735047155
kek

>>735047095
Maybe now. That wasn't normal when I was in. Except in boot camp, or during PT. Okay, I see what you're saying.

>>735041620
Tell me the most fucked up thing you have about any celebrity we would have heard of.

Oh! Give me some dirt on Dane Cook!

>>735047222
JEANINE GARAFALO KILLED A KID ACCIDENTALLY IN A WALMART PARKING LOT

>>735047190
Then he fake sued Walmart, and his friend fake died?

>>735047254
DANE COOK HAD A INCESTUAL SEXUAL AFFAIR WITH HIS MOTHER FROM THE AGE OF 10 TO 17

>>735043702
>gay guy
>fucked Alanis Morrisette

The math checks out.

I HAV... ERR I MEAN STEVEN SEAGAL HAS A HUGE HOG AND INVENTED MMA. ALSO HE NEVER SHIT HIMSELF FIGHTING GENE

AZIZ ANSARI ONCE TOLD ME HE ACCIDENTALLY SAT ON A SHAMPOO BOTTLE AND HAD TO GO TO THE ER BECAUSE OF IT

DANIEL TOSH FUCKS SO MUCH PUSSY BUT COMEDY CENTRAL EXECS THREATENED TO PULL THE SHOW IF HE DIDN'T KEEP UP THE GAY PERSONA. HE FUCKING HATES IT AND ALWAYS GETS HIT ON BY GUYS WHEN HE ISN'T EVEN CLOSE TO GAY. THEY THOUGHT SINCE SO MANY YOUNG KIDS WATCHED IT IT WOULD INFLUENCE THEM INTO ACCEPTING THE LGBT COMMUNITY.

>>735047360
I know a lot of gay people. I've only met two that never tried straight sex. One being my best friend, but he's been openly gay since he was eleven.

WHEN I HELPED MARGRET CHO GET HER LUGGAGE FROM THE CAR SHE DIDNT LET ME TOUCH A SMALL LEATHER BAG

I SNUCK IN AND LOOKED THRU IT AND IT WAS FILLED WITH DILDOS

>>735047325
HIS FRIEND REALLY WAS IN THE CRASH AND SUED ON HIS BEHALF BUT THAT WAS THE EXTENT.

ELAYNE BOOSLER TOLD ME THAT SHE ACTUALLY KILLED THAT ONE GUY WHO SANG MIGHTY MOUSE ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE ANDY COUGH SOMETHING

BOBBY LEE AND KEN JEONG USED TO BE FUCK BUDDIES.

>>735047592
She gave him cancer?

REGGIE WATTS TRIED TO HAVE A CONTRACTED HITMAN TAKE OUT JIMMY FALLON

DAIGO UMEHARA IS ACTUALLY TWO TWIN BROTHERS THAT SWITCH WITH EACH OTHER DURING TOURNAMENTS

I JUST WANTED TO PARTICIPATE IN PUTTING SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS. ALSO PHONE FAG HERE ANYONE ELSE?

>>735047651
YES

SHE WAS SORT OF LIKE DR MANHATTAN BUT THE FEMALE VERSION

>>735047727
I'M A FAG! I MEAN PHONE FAG LOL

>>735045216
>amy shumer
>5
And here I thought this board being full of virgins was a meme

KEVIN HART HAS BEEN KNOWN TO HATE FUCK TRAPS BECAUSE HE WAS MOLESTED AS A CHILD.

FREDDY PRINZE JR IS ACTUALLY NOT MARRIED TO THAT BUFFY CHICK

HE IS IN A POLYRELATION SHIP WITH TWO MEN AND SHES HIS BEARD

>>735047802
HORRIBLE BAIT FRIENDO.

CONAN O BRIEN AND LOUIS CK ARE THE SAME PERSON

PHILLIS DILLER GOT FIST FUCKED BY JOHNNY CARSON AND THAT DRUNK FAT SIDE KICK OF HIS

BERNIE MAC FAKED HIS DEATH BECAUSE HE WAS UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR MURDER

I helped with an impromptu Conan O'Brien appearance. He was awesome. He joked with everyone. Took all the pics and shook all the hands he could, put on a quick improve show, challenged the biggest Marine in the crowd to a push up contest, and won.

GARRY SHANDLINE TOLD ME PERSONALLY THAT IM A VERY HANDSOME MAN

>>735046441
Underrated

>>735046441
kek

>>735047968
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FAT FUCK

STOP LYING AND TRYING TO BE COOL LIKE ME

>>735042372
Any traveling performer with sense does shit like this. You're traveling all over the country and exposing yourself to every strain of every virus possible in large crowds of people. Stage performers also know that if they get sick and have to cancel shows, it loses them lots of money, so they do everything possible to not wind up in that situation.

I know some people that don't leave their hotel rooms and eat nothing but canned food so they don't get sick. Shower with goggles, nose clips, and flip flops in case the water contains pathogens (this is more of an overseas thing).

If you travel a lot you don't want some bullshit virus that could shut you down on the road.

PETE DAVIDSON CRIES LIKE A BITCH AFTER EVERY SHOW HE MENTIONS HIS DEAD FATHER. HE KNOWS THE JOKE ALWAYS DOES WELL BECAUSE OF THE SHOCK FACTOR BUT DEEP DOWN CAN'T HANDLE IT HIMSELF. HIS WHOLE FAMILY ALSO HATES HIM FOR IT.

ROSEANNE BAR WANTED ME AND A FRIEND TO DOUBLE TEAM HER BUT ONCE SHE GOT NAKED AND WE GOT A WHIFF OF HER GENITALS WE BAILED

ALL THE ITS SUNNY GUYS HATE EACH OTHERS GUTS. SAME GOES FOR SILICON VALLEY

>>735042372
>SHE'S ALSO PRETTY UGLY IN REAL LIFE

Fuck you I refuse to believe that.

>>735048023
I could never dream to be as cool as you, but I worked with the USO for a few years. I have real stories. How can you tell if I'm fat?

SAM KINISON SCREAMED INTO MY EAR AND LAUGHED THAT I TOLD HIM TO STOP

JIMMY FALLON IS ACTUALLY THREE KIDS STANDING ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. THAT'S WHY HE ALWAYS WEARS A TRENCH COAT.

OP ONCE ABANDONED A THREAD BECAUSE HE KNOWS HES A LYING FAGGOT.

>>735048138
BECAUSE YOU TYPE LIKE A FAT FAGGOT

HAHAHAHAHA I KNEW YOU WERE FAT

>>735042868
You ever been to a circus? They smell like elephant poop

I CAUGHT DANIEL TOSH TWISTING HIS BALLS IN THE RESTROOM

HE SMILED AND DDINT STOP

DEMETRI MARTIN LEFT SHOWBIZ TO BE A CAN OPENER.

>>735048220
I didn't confirm anything. I asked how you could tell.

SERIOUSLY GUYS STEVEN SEAGAL IS SUCH A COOL GUY! AND JUST THROWING THIS OUT THERE HE NEVER SHIT HIMSELF FIGHTING GENE LIBELL.

WOODY ALLEN TOUCHED ME WHILE MY MOTHER WAS IN THE OTHER ROOM

MY SIBLINGS DONT BELIEVE ME AND THEY SIDE WITH THEIR DAD

IT MAKES ME SAD

ROBERT KLINE IS ACTUALLY A VERY NICE DUDE

EDDIE MURPHY WAS CAUGHT TALKING TO A TRANSSEXUL HOOKER AND ALMOST ARRESTED

EDDIE IZZARD IS NOT GAY

HE IS LIKE THE BIGGEST SECRET PUSSY MAGNET KNOWN TO MAN

DON RICKLES TOLD MY FATHER THAT HE WOULD BUY MY 10 YEAR OLD SISTER FOR 30,000 IF HE COULD KEEP IT A SECRET

>>735041620
Is Alannis Morrissete and Dave Grohl the same person?

>>735048609
THEY ARE TWINS

ALANNIS WAS SUPPOSE TO BE A BOY BUT THEY USED A NEW KIND OF LASER CIRCUMCISION AND DAMAGED HER INFANT COCK

THE PARENTS MADE THE DECISION TO HAVE HER RAISED AS A FEMALE

KEVIN HART SELLS DRUGS ON THE SIDE

EVEN NOW AS A HIGHLY PAID COMEDIAN HE LIKES TO SLING DOPE FOR SHIT AND GIGGLES

BILL BURR BEAT A WOMAN TO DEATH FOR LAUGHING AT HIS SEXUAL REQUESTS

HIS MANAGER HID THE INCIDENT AND KNEW POLICE TO HELP WITH IT

SHE WAS AN ESCORT AND NEVER MISSED

BILLY CONNOLLY IS INTO DEAD BODIES

HE HAS ASKED ON HIS RIDER FOR US TO SUPPLY SMALL DEAD ANIMALS FOR HIM BEFORE A SHOW

----------------------------- ok guys, I think my work her is done

I just wanted to derail this faggots thread by screaming about random comedians and fake incidents

Job done, he hasn't posted for awhile now----------------------

>>735047155

he will never live that down

>>735041620
Have you ever met Rodney Carrington and if so is he cool?

Are comedians and actors trying To push a homosexual agenda or something

EVERYONE COME LETS HAVE SEX!!
ITLL BE FUN
WHO WANTS TO SUCK MY DICK??
FIRST ONE GETS A HICKEY!!

>>735041620
Is concert induced tinnitus why you shout?

>>735049053

tbh whether he was real or fake it wasn't worth derailing the thread. It would have been more interesting to see what he had to say (whether for real or not)

With all the shit post copy pasta threads on /b/ why derail this one?

File: sarah-silverman-nude-5[1].jpg (44KB, 675x873px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 675x873px

>>735048133

File: autism.jpg (333KB, 1707x1715px) Image search: [Google]

333KB, 1707x1715px

> this thread

not OP, but I did the naughty with ms. silverman back in the 90's

can confirm the germophobic thing.. although she only came across as prissy. she refused to get naked the first time but then she came back later and decided to let me pound the curtains. she was very standoffish about the whole thing but I didn't give a fuck..
when I tried to turn her over and hit the A-hole she lectured me about rape and tried to leave the bed but I pounced on her and gave her some more sausage on the floor and told her she couldn't lecture me about rape since I was underage.. she really doesn't like me lol but she still tolerates me I apologized later and she accepted diplomatically